1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:04,400 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to the show. This is better than yesterday. 2 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:07,600 Speaker 1: Useful tools, great conversations to help you make it better 3 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:12,400 Speaker 1: than yesterday. Every week since twenty thirteen. Yew, my name's 4 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:14,480 Speaker 1: Osha Ginsberg. I'm glad you're here. Thanks being a part 5 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:16,439 Speaker 1: of the show. If you're listening to this in five 6 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:19,920 Speaker 1: years from now, you should know that last night was 7 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:23,520 Speaker 1: on television in Australia. It was the second time that 8 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:27,680 Speaker 1: I danced as a contestant as a punter on Dancing 9 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,840 Speaker 1: with the Stars. Yes, on the other side of the 10 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:34,160 Speaker 1: reality TV equation. I did a very fun, an upbeat 11 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 1: dance called the Jive and if you watched it, you 12 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:41,040 Speaker 1: would have seen the judges tear me a new one. 13 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:45,279 Speaker 1: Now I know very very well what it is. I 14 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,960 Speaker 1: walked into to do a show like Dancing with a Start, 15 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: but I wasn't aware of what would come up for 16 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 1: me or being a part of this show, which is 17 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,840 Speaker 1: want to talk to you about today. A lot of 18 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 1: what I'm going to talk to you about was stuff 19 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:02,280 Speaker 1: that was going through my head because I was writing 20 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:04,440 Speaker 1: the brand new book that's coming out of the fifth 21 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 1: of All Whist. It's called So What Now What? So 22 00:01:06,319 --> 00:01:07,840 Speaker 1: A lot of this stuff that you're about to hear today. 23 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,080 Speaker 1: There's versions that in the book. You can pre order 24 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,399 Speaker 1: it in the show notes right now. So what are 25 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,039 Speaker 1: you doing when you go on a show like Dancing 26 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:18,039 Speaker 1: with the Stars. What you're doing is you are saying, 27 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 1: I have enough confidence and enough belief in myself and 28 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: the legacy in my career that I can go and 29 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,839 Speaker 1: do something I can be quite terrible at in front 30 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,480 Speaker 1: of my industry, in front of the nation, and my 31 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 1: reputation and my career will not be affected by it. 32 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 1: All right, that's the job, that's the show now. I 33 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:41,360 Speaker 1: said yes to this because I believed I felt very 34 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,760 Speaker 1: secure in my career and in my ability, and I 35 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 1: had absolutely no problem with being terrible at something on 36 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,840 Speaker 1: camera and that it would not at all negatively affect 37 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 1: my reputation on my legacy in the industry. And that 38 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:55,080 Speaker 1: is true. But I'm here to tell you in the 39 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 1: middle of it, in the moment, I really really struggled 40 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 1: to find how that could be true. I worked so 41 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 1: hard on this show. It's not like I was phoning 42 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 1: it in, and I know because I have phone it 43 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 1: in jobs before. I was giving it everything that I 44 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,680 Speaker 1: could and I know how the sausage gets made on 45 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 1: these shows. I understand that a party going on a 46 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:22,280 Speaker 1: show like this is having people behind a judge's desk 47 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:26,360 Speaker 1: say mean things to the person who's just tried really, 48 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:29,800 Speaker 1: really hard. It's the shud and foud a part of 49 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,800 Speaker 1: the equation because you can get out of there and say, 50 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,520 Speaker 1: excellent job, you did fantastically. But if you do that 51 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,960 Speaker 1: for ten people in a row, nah, you want to 52 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 1: have that kind of moment, whereas a viewer, you safely 53 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 1: get to experience the pain of rejection without having to 54 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 1: do it. And that's why the judges say nasty things 55 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:50,120 Speaker 1: to people who've just tried really hard. It's not like 56 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:53,640 Speaker 1: I didn't have it coming. What do I mean by that, Well, 57 00:02:53,760 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 1: I'll tell you in a moment. Thanks so much for 58 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 1: listening to the show. I thought i'd just check it 59 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 1: and do a bit of a debrief. After the second 60 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,520 Speaker 1: time I danced on Dancing with the Stars, I knew 61 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 1: what it was when I answered the phone and said, yes, 62 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 1: I want to do this, and I talked about that 63 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 1: a couple of weeks back, about all the reasons why 64 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 1: I wanted to do this, to be challenged and challenge myself, 65 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,920 Speaker 1: But fucking hell, I did not quite realize how great 66 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:30,960 Speaker 1: the challenge would be. I still am very thrilled that 67 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,799 Speaker 1: I am part of it. I'm still grateful that I 68 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: said yes to it, and all the reasons I said 69 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:40,440 Speaker 1: yes to it all happened. But boy, oh fucking boy, 70 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 1: wasn't hard, because, like I said just before, you know, 71 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 1: I know how this stuff works. I know that the 72 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:50,200 Speaker 1: people behind the desk have a job, and their job 73 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:53,760 Speaker 1: is to occasionally say kind of mean things to a 74 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: person who's just tried really really hard and believe that 75 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: they've done a really really good job and it's not 76 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:03,640 Speaker 1: like I did and have it coming. I've been involved 77 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 1: in that kind of thing, a lot of that kind 78 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: of thing in my time on television. There was a 79 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 1: time on a show called Australian I'd a lot I 80 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 1: worked on about twenty years ago when there was a 81 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 1: ritual humiliation of people who thought they were doing a 82 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 1: great job and were told they'd done a great job 83 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 1: all the way through to when they found themselves on 84 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,279 Speaker 1: television and saw them, Oh, hang on, they're showing me 85 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 1: as not doing a great job, and they're tearing strips 86 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:33,240 Speaker 1: off me. In front of people, and that was a 87 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:37,359 Speaker 1: part of that show, and I was a participant in that. 88 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 1: Do I have a belief in karma? Sometimes? Yeah, I 89 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,279 Speaker 1: kind of had it coming. But there's a lot of 90 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 1: things I have now that I didn't have before being 91 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: on Dancing with the Stars. The mobility that I have 92 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,000 Speaker 1: now is way more than I had when I started that. 93 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 1: It made and work up muscles that were otherwise not 94 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:56,080 Speaker 1: working properly, just not firing at all. I didn't even 95 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: realize that I was working, but it work up a lot 96 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 1: of muscles. I've got a lot of muscles to start 97 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,039 Speaker 1: working in it in a way they hadn't worked in years. 98 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,360 Speaker 1: So that's one thing that I got to take away 99 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: with me. The other thing is that I was given 100 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 1: the chance to get a very clear and very present 101 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:11,800 Speaker 1: check in on how exactly I'm doing when it comes 102 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 1: to my own self worth and a far clearer picture 103 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,599 Speaker 1: of how I see myself versus how other people see me. 104 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:20,680 Speaker 1: I've come a really long way since I got sober 105 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 1: and working on myself worth. As a big part of that, 106 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 1: there was a time in my life where I was 107 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:30,160 Speaker 1: unknowingly yet willingly a doormat. I have not been that 108 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,080 Speaker 1: in a very long time, and I thought I was 109 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:36,159 Speaker 1: doing really well. I thought, I'm fine. If I don't 110 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 1: get the external validation that I used to get, I 111 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 1: can tell myself I did a good job, and that's 112 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:47,560 Speaker 1: enough for me. And for the large part that is 113 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 1: mostly true. Yet after I train my ass off for weeks, 114 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,880 Speaker 1: learning how to do this dance, figuring out how to 115 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:59,400 Speaker 1: make my body move in ways that it's never moved before, 116 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 1: understanding how to throw a live human female over my 117 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,839 Speaker 1: head and land her safely, putting so much of my 118 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,800 Speaker 1: personal touch on these performances, everything from the music to 119 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:13,000 Speaker 1: the wardrobe, to camera shots to choreography choices, to have 120 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:16,920 Speaker 1: put everything into it, to have left nothing at all 121 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,600 Speaker 1: in the training studio or in the dressing room. When 122 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:23,919 Speaker 1: the effort and acknowledgment for how hard I worked on 123 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 1: it wasn't recognized that was a kick in the dick. 124 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,000 Speaker 1: The jacket trick. For example, if you watched the show 125 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:34,719 Speaker 1: last night, I saw I did a jacket trick. Essentially, 126 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 1: if you had not seen it, I fling the jacket 127 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,520 Speaker 1: over my shoulders backwards and then lift up one leg 128 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 1: and kick it, kick it off me. That jacket trick. 129 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 1: I worked so fucking hard on that, and full credit 130 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,719 Speaker 1: has to go to Smack, whose trick it is. Hydraulic 131 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 1: Press Girl. She came on the podcast a little while back. 132 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:55,240 Speaker 1: I watched her do that trick at one of her 133 00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:57,599 Speaker 1: shows at the Upper Citizens Brigade in Los Angeles. There 134 00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:59,359 Speaker 1: was a video of her doing that. And when we 135 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:01,640 Speaker 1: were first talking about doing this song, this drive song, 136 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,599 Speaker 1: they said, oh, yeah, now at some point, you're going 137 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:06,560 Speaker 1: to take off your jacket. And I turned to Kelly Abby, 138 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 1: the creative director of the whole thing, the head honcho, 139 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:13,000 Speaker 1: and I said, well, hang on a second. Then I 140 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 1: know exactly how I'm going to take off this jacket. 141 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 1: And I showed her the video of Sam doing it, 142 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:22,960 Speaker 1: and she went, oh, that would be fun. But understand this. 143 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,120 Speaker 1: If you think you can do it, then we should 144 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: do it. But I want you to know that if 145 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,960 Speaker 1: you fuck it up, there's no going back. If it 146 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,920 Speaker 1: catches on your arm or catches on your foot or 147 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 1: I was in fling backwards far enough, we can't stop 148 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 1: tape and go again. If you make a mistake, that's 149 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 1: going to be a massive, glaring mistake. And I just 150 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,040 Speaker 1: said to her, I was like, yeah, I know that. 151 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,320 Speaker 1: I know I can't do it right now, but I'm 152 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 1: going to do it, and it's going to be an 153 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:53,640 Speaker 1: amazing fucking moment because this is the business we're in. 154 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:57,080 Speaker 1: We're in the business of making incredible moments, and showbiz 155 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 1: rule number three has never miss a moment. To make 156 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:02,000 Speaker 1: a moment, you was an enormous risk to take. I 157 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:05,560 Speaker 1: practiced that jacket trick hundreds and hundreds of times. I 158 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:08,360 Speaker 1: even called Smack who you know, as I said, she's 159 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 1: on the podcast. I even called her and she sent 160 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,200 Speaker 1: me a little tutorial, little video on how to do 161 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 1: it correctly. I've got the wardrobe people to build me 162 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 1: a mock up of the jacket that would eventually build 163 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 1: me one that I could train with and you know, 164 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:24,200 Speaker 1: get dirty and potentially kick my foot straight through rather 165 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 1: than break the one thing they make me on the night. 166 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,119 Speaker 1: So it felt the same and it weighed the same 167 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 1: as the one that I wore. In the end, I 168 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 1: took that jacket home and I practiced it in my house. 169 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 1: I practiced this trick again and again and again. It 170 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,760 Speaker 1: was unbelievably hard to do that kick behind me and 171 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,959 Speaker 1: stay straight because of the way that my rotational stability works. 172 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 1: But I just had this vision of I want to 173 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:49,280 Speaker 1: do a thing that is just such a pop in 174 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 1: the middle of this dance, a moment that'll make people 175 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:59,239 Speaker 1: go wuck wow. Never miss a moment to make a moment. Additionally, 176 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 1: I haven't had my upper arms out of a T 177 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,000 Speaker 1: shirt since I did a big day out on Channel 178 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 1: V in two thousand and three, and I thought, you know, 179 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 1: it's a long time since I've got the pipes out. 180 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 1: I wanted to make something of it. And I did it. 181 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:14,640 Speaker 1: I fucking nailed that, and I'm so so so proud 182 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 1: of it. And I put all that effort, like I'm 183 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:24,079 Speaker 1: talking weeks and weeks and weeks, and I know it's 184 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:28,880 Speaker 1: all pretend and I know it's all showbiz. But when 185 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,199 Speaker 1: there's just no acknowledgment of that effort, when they're just like, oh, 186 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 1: the jacket was fun, Like fuck Jesus my heart man. 187 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 1: The last time I danced, the first time on the show, 188 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 1: doing that Fox drive was very hot. The judges, they 189 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,840 Speaker 1: really had to go with me. But in the moment, 190 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,080 Speaker 1: I was able to be very playful and mess around 191 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:50,960 Speaker 1: with it. I even made the joke that when we 192 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,760 Speaker 1: got to single digits in our scoring. When they held 193 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,280 Speaker 1: out their ping pong bats, it only added up to nine, 194 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 1: and I said to Chris, well, they should have gone 195 00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 1: too lower. It would have been way more on brand. 196 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 1: Chris has already launched into his neck line in the 197 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,360 Speaker 1: auto queue, and his brain does the mats, and you 198 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,679 Speaker 1: actually see him if you watch your back. He laughs 199 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,040 Speaker 1: and he has to do the line again. I'm glad 200 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 1: they left it in the cut because it's fun. His 201 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,839 Speaker 1: reaction was really good. But even with all that playfulness 202 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:18,559 Speaker 1: that day at home after the show, sitting in this sauna, 203 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 1: I still really struggled. Now, if you listen back to 204 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:25,080 Speaker 1: the podcast earlier this year, there's a You'll hear a 205 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,000 Speaker 1: show where I started talking about the ideal self and 206 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,960 Speaker 1: the actual self, and you actually see your moment on 207 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:34,200 Speaker 1: camera last night. You can see it where I physically 208 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 1: in my body feel the pain caused by the gap 209 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:40,360 Speaker 1: between my ideal self and my actual self. My ideal 210 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,920 Speaker 1: self is a very hard worker who puts everything into it. 211 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,480 Speaker 1: When he gets out there and he puts his shoulder 212 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 1: the wheel, great things happen because they've always happened like 213 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,199 Speaker 1: that in my life, in my career, that is what happens, 214 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:54,920 Speaker 1: and then that effort and that work to perfect it 215 00:10:54,960 --> 00:11:00,400 Speaker 1: is equally worth praise. But the judges, I don't know 216 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:03,240 Speaker 1: anything about all that shit going on in my head 217 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:05,880 Speaker 1: because it's going on my head unless I've said it 218 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 1: out lad to them. They're not to know. So they 219 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 1: comment on what they've seen. They comment on my actual self, 220 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:13,839 Speaker 1: and what they've seen is it technically imperfect, not that great, 221 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:18,640 Speaker 1: very fun dance routine. Now I told you I know 222 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: how this kind of TV works. I know that someone's 223 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 1: going to have to take it in the face, and 224 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:28,079 Speaker 1: twice now in a row, that's been me. Even though 225 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:32,840 Speaker 1: we know it how it works, it's still hurt. And 226 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,560 Speaker 1: it still hurt because there was that gap between my 227 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,400 Speaker 1: ideal self and my actual self. That was the pain 228 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,600 Speaker 1: that I was experiencing. That's the part I couldn't get 229 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,719 Speaker 1: my head around. But what do I do about it? 230 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:44,760 Speaker 1: That's what I'll talk to you about. After the break. 231 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:57,079 Speaker 1: Showing up for training the day after the brutal critigue 232 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:01,680 Speaker 1: and scoring that happened last night, it was very clear 233 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:03,959 Speaker 1: to me I needed to approach this differently because if 234 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,640 Speaker 1: that just kept happening and I kept doing what I 235 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:09,400 Speaker 1: was doing, I wasn't gonna make it like emotionally, mentally, 236 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:13,079 Speaker 1: it wasn't going to work. That gap between my ideal 237 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:16,520 Speaker 1: self and my actual self wasn't going away. But maybe, 238 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,320 Speaker 1: just maybe I might be able to learn to work 239 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 1: with it. I was in a WrestleMania cage match with 240 00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:25,040 Speaker 1: my ego every single day. But what I tried to 241 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:29,199 Speaker 1: do from that point on was notice that ego screaming 242 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:34,160 Speaker 1: at me, and then try to train and prepare for 243 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:38,640 Speaker 1: the next dance with curiosity rather than judgment, hopefully transforming 244 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 1: what felt like a failure of going over the top 245 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 1: of Gallipoli into a pathway forward. The first part is 246 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:51,400 Speaker 1: being brutally honest about what my ideal self actually looked like. 247 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:55,400 Speaker 1: That was hard. I also had to ask myself a 248 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,560 Speaker 1: lot of deeper questions. If I were dancing as my 249 00:12:57,679 --> 00:13:01,080 Speaker 1: best self, how would I move through this routine? Because 250 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:04,880 Speaker 1: if I can't be technically perfect, and it takes years, 251 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,839 Speaker 1: decade more to become technically perfectly, this kind of stuff 252 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,840 Speaker 1: can't do it in six weeks five weeks, which is 253 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 1: what we had. If I can't be technically perfect, what 254 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 1: can I be? Can to be powerful? Can I be 255 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:18,920 Speaker 1: a motive can I be joyful? Also, I've got to 256 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:22,319 Speaker 1: ask myself, how will my ideal self handle the inevitable 257 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:27,440 Speaker 1: mistakes I will make during a performance? And how do 258 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:29,160 Speaker 1: I want to feel walking off the stage. I had 259 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:30,840 Speaker 1: to ask myself a bunch of those questions. So a 260 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,920 Speaker 1: bit of a breakthrough happened when I shifted from I'm 261 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:36,400 Speaker 1: going to do this perfectly too. I might not be 262 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,760 Speaker 1: able to perform it perfectly, but I'll perform it with 263 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,400 Speaker 1: as much joy as I can because I know people 264 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:44,680 Speaker 1: can connect with that. Once I got to that place, 265 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:48,360 Speaker 1: that shift really created a fundamental change in how I 266 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:52,840 Speaker 1: approached training every day. Instead of chasing this impossible standard, 267 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:58,080 Speaker 1: I was defining an authentic version of excellence that I 268 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:02,560 Speaker 1: was capable of striving towards, one that acknowledged the reality 269 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:06,440 Speaker 1: but still kind of pushing me to grow and do 270 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:09,280 Speaker 1: my best. It was super hard to acknowledge that while 271 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:13,560 Speaker 1: my ideal dancing self executed every lit perfectly as I'm 272 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:18,240 Speaker 1: visualizing it, my actual self was limited all right by 273 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:21,120 Speaker 1: a body which didn't move with the flexibility and timing 274 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:25,040 Speaker 1: and control that I once had or thought I had. 275 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,560 Speaker 1: As someone who plays music and has played music my 276 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:31,840 Speaker 1: whole life. It was devastating that I struggled with timing. 277 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,200 Speaker 1: I struggled with it in ways that no amount of 278 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:39,400 Speaker 1: willpower could fix. The gap as well that I found 279 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:43,560 Speaker 1: between wanting to be calm under pressure and the stress 280 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:47,080 Speaker 1: and the cognitive overload that happened during performance. It was 281 00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 1: glaringly obvious, like I would be sitting there, you know, 282 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,640 Speaker 1: dancing with reality, and suddenly I'm in the wrong part 283 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,160 Speaker 1: of the set. I'm like, why is this happening? I'm 284 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,520 Speaker 1: observing it going, why is this happening? My brain? I 285 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,800 Speaker 1: was like Dawn in a tunnel vision. I could it 286 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,720 Speaker 1: was so weird if I'd made a mistake or going 287 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,240 Speaker 1: through a tech rehearsal. One of the creative directors trying 288 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:05,840 Speaker 1: to come up to me afterwards giving me notes going 289 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,240 Speaker 1: over here, da da, da da, and I just had 290 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,920 Speaker 1: to say to her, right now, I know you're talking 291 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,840 Speaker 1: to me. I can see your mouth moving, but I 292 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,440 Speaker 1: can't actually hear what you're saying. I'm going to need 293 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,360 Speaker 1: about a minute to do some breathing before my brain 294 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,400 Speaker 1: starts to be able to listen, okay, because that's a 295 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:21,040 Speaker 1: really time pressure situation, and I couldn't listen. It was 296 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 1: really weird how much my brain shut down in those moments. 297 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,640 Speaker 1: But here's here's kind of what did surprise me. Once 298 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,960 Speaker 1: I was able to see the gaps all right, the 299 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 1: gaps between what I wanted to be and what I 300 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,360 Speaker 1: was capable of what was happening. Once I saw those 301 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 1: gaps clearly, then they became problems rather than character flaws. 302 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,560 Speaker 1: If my mobility limited ways that I could move, I 303 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,160 Speaker 1: could focus instead on storytelling and the connection I was 304 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 1: having with Striani. If I tense start during performances, what 305 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 1: I would do is I would work deep breathing like 306 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:57,360 Speaker 1: step step, turn breathe, step, return, breathe. I'd work the 307 00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 1: breathing and of the routine, so staying calm and keep 308 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 1: my heart rate down. Getting back in my body was 309 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 1: automatically in there. The gaps aren't going to disappear, but 310 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:10,600 Speaker 1: they were no longer kind of these mysterious sources of pain. 311 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 1: One of the most powerful things was catching and reframing 312 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:18,080 Speaker 1: that internal dialogu which would run around what I've noticed, 313 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,240 Speaker 1: thoughts like I should really be better this by now, 314 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 1: you know. Reframing that was reality, not kind of magical 315 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:28,000 Speaker 1: positive thinking. But reality, I'm learning to dance after having 316 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 1: had three hip replacements. That's actually quite incredible. The judges 317 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 1: feedback look in the moment, it really hurt way more 318 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,320 Speaker 1: than I wanted it to. But being aware of that 319 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:43,120 Speaker 1: why it hurt, as you're able to observe that and 320 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,080 Speaker 1: go oh hanging to see what's something here. It's important 321 00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:50,400 Speaker 1: to understand critique that really stings usually hurts for a reason. 322 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:55,560 Speaker 1: When criticism about I don't know timing hurt more than 323 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:59,560 Speaker 1: comments about my technique, it's because it's challenging my identity 324 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:03,040 Speaker 1: as a musician, someone who's got great timing, great bass player. 325 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:08,760 Speaker 1: When they told me to show more confidence, there's a 326 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:13,560 Speaker 1: really clear gap between what I'm showing them as far 327 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 1: as self doubt and the stage presence that I know 328 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:24,400 Speaker 1: I'm capable of. That's hard. Recognizing that is simple but transformative. 329 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:29,119 Speaker 1: You're looking for progress, not perfection. Really, the longer that 330 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,240 Speaker 1: I spent on this show, the more and more I 331 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:34,640 Speaker 1: got to understand that it's not about the judges. It's 332 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,840 Speaker 1: not about the show because of the sparkles. It's not 333 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:42,400 Speaker 1: even about the dancing. It's about a chance to look 334 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 1: at parts of myself. I didn't realize I needed to 335 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:50,400 Speaker 1: work on, and that is stuff that is incredibly valuable. 336 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:54,280 Speaker 1: If you willing to notice your ideal self and recognize 337 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:58,400 Speaker 1: the gap between that and your actual self, well you'll 338 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:00,880 Speaker 1: notice that the wider gap there is, the more work 339 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,560 Speaker 1: there is to do. But that doesn't mean that you 340 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:09,040 Speaker 1: can't close that gap. I'll give you another update after 341 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:10,720 Speaker 1: the next dance because I can only say so much 342 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,359 Speaker 1: because it's all pre recorded. But the next dance is 343 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,320 Speaker 1: probably the favorite song that I got to use. I 344 00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:19,199 Speaker 1: worked really hard on getting them over the line on 345 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:23,280 Speaker 1: this song. I'm super duper proud of what we did 346 00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:26,920 Speaker 1: with it. But I'll feel you in after that one. 347 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:30,480 Speaker 1: I'll see you bout here on Wednesday. Thanks for listening.