WEBVTT - Matty’s Wedding Shocker 0:00:00.220 --> 0:00:03.320 Right here on the Cooper and Matty Johns podcast. 0:00:03.860 --> 0:00:05.400 Right here, right. 0:00:06.840 --> 0:00:07.410 Now. 0:00:07.680 --> 0:00:09.810 Hey, what was it you said, Cooper, last night? 0:00:09.830 --> 0:00:11.889 There was something we said late last night to write 0:00:11.930 --> 0:00:15.170 down on your phone. I remember there was something more 0:00:15.930 --> 0:00:17.490 at the front, and I said, please write that down 0:00:17.510 --> 0:00:17.970 on your phone. 0:00:18.350 --> 0:00:18.729 Oh, yeah. 0:00:19.010 --> 0:00:21.450 What was it? Yeah, you know, why don't we start 0:00:21.489 --> 0:00:25.590 with that? So, we obviously had the wedding yesterday, and. 0:00:27.160 --> 0:00:27.750 And we started. 0:00:28.000 --> 0:00:30.460 Yeah, we started. That's why we're in Italy. 0:00:31.780 --> 0:00:34.280 Dad emceeded. I was a celebrant. I've got some footage 0:00:34.320 --> 0:00:37.020 of that. I chucked that out on social media, pending 0:00:37.080 --> 0:00:37.820 how it looks. 0:00:37.880 --> 0:00:38.700 You did a great job. 0:00:39.080 --> 0:00:39.920 I was very proud. 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:40.240 Who? 0:00:40.260 --> 0:00:42.800 Who were you talking to when you said that? 0:00:42.830 --> 0:00:42.979 You. 0:00:43.020 --> 0:00:45.210 What I'm happy about is the ceremony. You made it 0:00:45.229 --> 0:00:47.970 only go four minutes. Well, that's good. 0:00:48.130 --> 0:00:49.589 Yeah, everyone's pretty happy about it. 0:00:49.610 --> 0:00:49.890 I was. 0:00:49.909 --> 0:00:50.790 Ceremonies are too long. 0:00:51.210 --> 0:00:56.580 But what Jack was saying was, because obviously it was like, Australians, Italians, 0:00:56.780 --> 0:00:59.880 and people, Finnish, people from Finland. 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:01.460 I had to finish quick enough. 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:06.660 And Jack said, because like he noticed that they weren't 0:01:06.680 --> 0:01:08.550 really drinking and things like that, and they all looked 0:01:08.590 --> 0:01:09.050 quite young. 0:01:09.630 --> 0:01:11.950 So Jack said, geez, they must live longer than us. 0:01:12.030 --> 0:01:15.550 And he asked Google what their life expectancy was, the 0:01:15.569 --> 0:01:17.050 Finnish and Australians, and. 0:01:16.970 --> 0:01:19.569 We had two years on them. So then I sent 0:01:19.590 --> 0:01:21.650 a photo of myself in the chat. Happiness makes you 0:01:21.709 --> 0:01:22.170 last longer. 0:01:22.300 --> 0:01:22.610 Yeah. 0:01:23.700 --> 0:01:26.380 And then I– that's weak because that lasts like five seconds. 0:01:27.220 --> 0:01:29.500 And then I threw a photo of myself in the chat, GBT, 0:01:30.160 --> 0:01:31.700 and I said, how long am I going to live for? 0:01:32.140 --> 0:01:32.980 Oh. 0:01:33.200 --> 0:01:34.619 And he said? 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:37.150 And he said, oh, like it's not– I can't make 0:01:37.190 --> 0:01:38.490 that judgment based on a photo. 0:01:38.530 --> 0:01:39.350 You look quite young. 0:01:39.730 --> 0:01:43.550 The five major factors for long life and longevity is 0:01:44.130 --> 0:01:45.470 alcohol consumption. 0:01:45.490 --> 0:01:47.610 Is that like a pass or a negative? As in good. 0:01:47.830 --> 0:01:48.450 As in a negative. 0:01:49.410 --> 0:01:55.850 Diet, exercise, smoking, and luck. No, genetics and luck. And 0:01:55.890 --> 0:02:00.930 then I showed Jack and he goes, holy shit, he 0:02:00.950 --> 0:02:01.570 needs luck. 0:02:01.590 --> 0:02:05.670 Jack, you are funnier in Italy, I told you. 0:02:05.710 --> 0:02:10.370 Yeah, well. Skin dog. So, come on, let's talk about it. So, 0:02:10.389 --> 0:02:12.280 we had the family wedding last night. 0:02:12.290 --> 0:02:12.820 The wedding? 0:02:12.860 --> 0:02:14.440 Let's start. Can we, let's start. 0:02:14.460 --> 0:02:15.200 The wedding planner? 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:18.690 Let's start right at the beginning because it seemed like a, 0:02:19.760 --> 0:02:21.920 It seems like the Italian people didn't even know what 0:02:21.940 --> 0:02:23.080 time the wedding was supposed to start. 0:02:23.100 --> 0:02:24.900 Remember when we got there and they. 0:02:24.800 --> 0:02:27.280 Just withheld everyone out the front of the wedding venue 0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:28.799 and they just started. 0:02:28.919 --> 0:02:32.820 Setting up the chairs. It's like we're in a hospital 0:02:33.260 --> 0:02:35.150 waiting to go through an emergency. We're all sitting there 0:02:35.190 --> 0:02:37.790 just looking at each other. Apparently in the courtyard, everyone 0:02:37.810 --> 0:02:38.450 was there. 0:02:38.210 --> 0:02:40.030 Just going, where are they? 0:02:40.050 --> 0:02:43.150 And I sent a message to our family group chat going, 0:02:43.610 --> 0:02:44.209 just to let you. 0:02:44.130 --> 0:02:47.470 Know, we're being held captive in reception here. And they 0:02:47.490 --> 0:02:49.000 came out and go, what are you doing here? It's 0:02:49.100 --> 0:02:50.600 like a little chicky, wouldn't it? 0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:53.820 The wedding planner was in the top three biggest dickheads. 0:02:54.780 --> 0:02:57.389 He was a wanker. He was a flog. What was 0:02:57.430 --> 0:02:58.490 his name again? 0:02:58.510 --> 0:02:58.950 Dominique. 0:02:59.050 --> 0:02:59.470 Dominique. 0:02:59.590 --> 0:03:02.850 He wanted it to go. Like, honestly, we were booked 0:03:03.030 --> 0:03:05.370 to go to 1.30. I reckon he wanted us out 0:03:05.410 --> 0:03:07.690 of there by 11 because he kept going to me going, 0:03:07.750 --> 0:03:10.500 get him up for the speeches. And everyone was going, no, no, no, 0:03:10.560 --> 0:03:11.400 no one's having his food. 0:03:11.419 --> 0:03:12.140 He was going, get up. 0:03:12.820 --> 0:03:15.620 Honestly, I was getting dragged apart between he and one 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:17.820 of the bridesmaids who were trying to take control of everything. 0:03:18.230 --> 0:03:19.450 And I was just going at the end, I just said, 0:03:19.889 --> 0:03:22.630 I turned to him, Dominic, and I just said, mate, 0:03:23.090 --> 0:03:25.270 it's not your effing wedding. 0:03:25.530 --> 0:03:28.210 Just back off. Yeah. Dad was pretty aggressive. 0:03:29.210 --> 0:03:32.060 Well, I'm bad. So needless to say, Matt won't be 0:03:32.160 --> 0:03:33.160 emceeing any more weddings. 0:03:33.460 --> 0:03:34.080 Yeah, definitely. 0:03:34.180 --> 0:03:36.760 Not when there's Finns in the room anyway. Yeah. 0:03:37.020 --> 0:03:38.040 Well, Dad's not like. 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:38.720 Or Italians. 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:44.180 Dad's... The thing about your rundown was Dad was making, like, 0:03:44.200 --> 0:03:47.080 a lot of your references... you were calling out people 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:50.700 just in our family, like Uncle John. So only our 0:03:50.740 --> 0:03:53.930 table would laugh and the rest who were divided between 0:03:54.710 --> 0:03:58.650 some Italian locals and the Finnish, you could just hear 0:03:58.670 --> 0:04:00.630 a pin drop. And my favourite thing was every time 0:04:00.670 --> 0:04:02.589 Dad would go back to his table, he was put 0:04:02.670 --> 0:04:04.470 like on the table with a lot of the Finns. 0:04:04.870 --> 0:04:09.070 So they were just going like, what's this guy talking about? 0:04:09.340 --> 0:04:11.680 Every time I was ready to go up and I 0:04:11.680 --> 0:04:13.920 was sitting there between them Just think, it was like, 0:04:14.060 --> 0:04:15.680 it was the last supper. Like, I was going to 0:04:15.700 --> 0:04:18.660 be murdered. Like, I threw a few, I did do 0:04:18.700 --> 0:04:22.390 a fit, like a reference. I was talking about Cooper, 0:04:22.710 --> 0:04:24.750 and I said, what about the celebrant? Sorry to the 0:04:24.790 --> 0:04:28.270 people from Finland, he's not really worldly. He thinks Helsinki's 0:04:28.310 --> 0:04:29.310 a venereal disease. 0:04:30.310 --> 0:04:33.990 The best part was, I'd always... And you really turned 0:04:34.010 --> 0:04:35.710 into a skid. 0:04:35.850 --> 0:04:40.020 Once you knew you were doubling down, which is what 0:04:40.120 --> 0:04:42.760 I think, there was no other way out. But I 0:04:42.779 --> 0:04:46.300 did like the fact that I would look at the 0:04:46.380 --> 0:04:50.710 finish table every single time that you had a punchline. 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:54.260 And not only was there not a smile or a laugh, 0:04:54.600 --> 0:04:56.940 there wasn't, you could tell they didn't understand because there 0:04:56.980 --> 0:04:58.610 wasn't even a movement in their muscles. 0:04:58.730 --> 0:05:02.360 Like it was just. The first time I was a 0:05:02.370 --> 0:05:04.270 little rattled. The second time I was just rat's ass. 0:05:04.330 --> 0:05:05.370 I got up there and said, you know. 0:05:05.390 --> 0:05:06.000 You were rat's ass. 0:05:06.010 --> 0:05:07.750 I just went, you know what, everyone tells me about 0:05:07.770 --> 0:05:08.370 you Finns. 0:05:08.490 --> 0:05:11.089 People were just saying then, don't worry, wait until they 0:05:11.110 --> 0:05:12.590 have a few drinks and they'll have a good time. 0:05:13.010 --> 0:05:15.529 Please waiter, get them a squirt of drink of eerie. 0:05:15.850 --> 0:05:17.809 I said, seriously. I said, have a look at you guys. 0:05:18.390 --> 0:05:20.729 And then the icebreaker. 0:05:21.510 --> 0:05:22.349 Yeah. 0:05:22.430 --> 0:05:24.750 Stop it. Yeah, that was. 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:28.440 They must have a tradition where it's like they play 0:05:28.460 --> 0:05:29.409 a game before it. 0:05:29.620 --> 0:05:30.000 But it was. 0:05:30.339 --> 0:05:32.400 Dad was trying to be the icebreaker and then they 0:05:32.440 --> 0:05:33.960 had a game called Icebreaker. 0:05:34.279 --> 0:05:38.479 Which was probably as... It probably bombed as hard as 0:05:38.540 --> 0:05:40.470 Dad's introduction did. Worse, worse. 0:05:40.490 --> 0:05:44.770 No, because icebreakers are usually done at like conventions and. 0:05:45.170 --> 0:05:48.330 You know, to make people interact. But there was no 0:05:48.350 --> 0:05:50.610 interacting in those icebreakers. It was odd. 0:05:50.710 --> 0:05:52.739 You know what your problem, you know what you were going, 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:53.600 I said it to. 0:05:53.580 --> 0:05:57.580 Our, what do you call it, cousin Travis. 0:05:58.260 --> 0:05:59.360 I said it to him as you were about to 0:05:59.380 --> 0:05:59.589 go out. 0:05:59.980 --> 0:06:03.719 I said, you were second guessing yourself like this whole trip, 0:06:03.800 --> 0:06:07.650 like running to, I've never seen you second-guess yourself so much. 0:06:07.950 --> 0:06:09.690 I knew when you got up there, you were almost 0:06:09.790 --> 0:06:12.620 like half in, and I knew you were going to 0:06:12.660 --> 0:06:14.320 bomb when you were half in. 0:06:14.339 --> 0:06:17.000 When you say half in, do you mean half? 0:06:17.020 --> 0:06:19.479 No, he didn't get the run down until like, well, 0:06:20.140 --> 0:06:22.140 hang on, let me just rephrase that because I was 0:06:22.180 --> 0:06:26.540 into injury. A run down, very loose, until the day before. 0:06:27.710 --> 0:06:30.110 And then literally two hours before the wedding, another one 0:06:30.150 --> 0:06:31.890 came through. And he'd done all of these fractals. 0:06:31.910 --> 0:06:33.979 The whole thing was, oh, just don't relax, don't worry 0:06:34.000 --> 0:06:34.310 about it. 0:06:34.500 --> 0:06:39.380 And one of the bridesmaids was just like honestly a dictator, 0:06:39.420 --> 0:06:41.200 just going, and I was going, oh, listen to this. 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:44.690 And I was like, mate, please, no more. And when 0:06:44.710 --> 0:06:46.210 they did the icebreaker and I was sitting down, it 0:06:46.230 --> 0:06:47.510 was my chance for a little. 0:06:47.350 --> 0:06:49.229 Bit to get back. I went, oh, you girls are hilarious. 0:06:49.250 --> 0:06:51.330 You should have your own TV show. Hang on, I 0:06:51.370 --> 0:06:51.870 have two. 0:06:52.980 --> 0:06:54.560 I did love when you said that because of the 0:06:54.580 --> 0:06:56.440 fact that no one actually laughed at that. 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:56.960 No one did. 0:06:57.100 --> 0:06:59.839 And no one did. You were in Finland. 0:06:59.880 --> 0:07:00.560 It's Fox League. 0:07:00.620 --> 0:07:01.680 They don't get it in Finland. 0:07:01.820 --> 0:07:04.370 Well, I thought some of the stuff was quite good. 0:07:04.610 --> 0:07:07.089 You know when you explain everything, just go, oh, mate, 0:07:07.130 --> 0:07:08.330 this is here and that's there. 0:07:08.410 --> 0:07:11.480 I said, look. Here's the thing. Look, we're in Italy, however. 0:07:11.560 --> 0:07:14.500 Be respectful. Don't smoke on the table. However, it's okay 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:17.120 to smoke meth. I know how much you Finns love 0:07:17.140 --> 0:07:19.360 your ice. I mean, who doesn't? Isn't that right, Louisa? 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:21.040 Everyone just went, they. 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:22.760 All. 0:07:23.100 --> 0:07:25.820 And I said, look, the toilets are that way. And 0:07:25.860 --> 0:07:28.600 I said, look, I know this sounds obvious, but please 0:07:28.720 --> 0:07:31.000 use the toilet. As we know, last year, Uncle Aaron 0:07:31.060 --> 0:07:32.260 soiled himself on the dance floor. 0:07:32.710 --> 0:07:35.490 Aaron, come on, mate. This year, just be better. And 0:07:35.590 --> 0:07:36.750 one of the kids went, ooh. 0:07:37.220 --> 0:07:40.240 I was just going, let's look at these people. 0:07:40.260 --> 0:07:42.260 Do you see how you're saying it now? How you're 0:07:42.300 --> 0:07:44.700 saying it with such confidence now on the body? You 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:47.340 were not doing it. You were like an insecure kid 0:07:47.380 --> 0:07:47.660 up there. 0:07:47.700 --> 0:07:50.670 You kept stuttering and you were taking like, for you 0:07:50.710 --> 0:07:52.430 to tell that joke then, you just said it in 0:07:52.430 --> 0:07:54.930 15 seconds, it would take you like 30 or pausing, 0:07:55.070 --> 0:07:55.930 rereading your notes. 0:07:56.130 --> 0:07:56.670 That's what I'm saying. 0:07:56.690 --> 0:07:58.900 You were half in. Not half thin, but you're half thin. 0:07:59.620 --> 0:08:01.500 It just goes to show how much the audience matters, 0:08:01.540 --> 0:08:03.380 no matter how big or small they are. Because it 0:08:03.400 --> 0:08:05.200 wasn't a big wedding. 0:08:05.500 --> 0:08:09.630 It wasn't huge. It was an intimate room, right? 40 0:08:09.630 --> 0:08:10.450 to 50. 0:08:10.450 --> 0:08:11.610 I've never seen you. 0:08:12.490 --> 0:08:14.970 When you turn up and half the audience is dead 0:08:14.990 --> 0:08:17.810 behind the eyes, you're literally going, okay, I might be 0:08:17.830 --> 0:08:18.650 in a little bit of trouble. 0:08:18.690 --> 0:08:20.470 Hey, Dan, are you chewing a toenail? 0:08:21.690 --> 0:08:21.910 No. 0:08:22.210 --> 0:08:25.340 We're actually in a massage room. My family's on the floor. 0:08:25.420 --> 0:08:28.160 Oh, don't. I don't know why. I was just watching 0:08:28.180 --> 0:08:28.480 you chew. 0:08:28.420 --> 0:08:28.900 That the whole time. 0:08:28.980 --> 0:08:30.720 I'm looking at your toenail. What is wrong? 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:32.459 I got an infection in it. 0:08:32.540 --> 0:08:34.679 It's got to fall off. You need to have that removed. 0:08:35.040 --> 0:08:38.310 Nah, but that one's okay. This one, they're all gone. 0:08:38.350 --> 0:08:39.470 What is wrong with your toenails? 0:08:39.490 --> 0:08:41.910 Let's get away from the toenails. What about Monopoly? 0:08:41.929 --> 0:08:42.770 No, no, no. 0:08:43.110 --> 0:08:45.290 Stay at the wedding. Okay. 0:08:45.330 --> 0:08:48.050 Because I want to hear, obviously, Dad did the emceeing, 0:08:48.110 --> 0:08:49.860 but I did the celebrancy before. 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:50.270 Let me tell you. 0:08:51.780 --> 0:08:54.880 Hey, you weren't much better. But the microphone just kept 0:08:54.900 --> 0:08:56.160 dropping out and you went, oh. 0:08:56.600 --> 0:08:56.980 Yeah. 0:08:57.000 --> 0:09:00.170 That was the audio guy. That was the audio. 0:09:00.410 --> 0:09:02.689 Again, every time I emcee, there's always a tech, like 0:09:02.730 --> 0:09:05.770 the DJ at our other cousin, Matt, me and Jack 0:09:05.870 --> 0:09:08.849 emceed it. And the DJ screwed that up with the 0:09:08.890 --> 0:09:10.380 technical difficulties as well. 0:09:10.660 --> 0:09:12.780 This Italian DJ did the same thing. The mic just 0:09:12.800 --> 0:09:13.480 kept cutting. 0:09:13.420 --> 0:09:13.900 In, out. 0:09:14.380 --> 0:09:17.750 And honestly... How many videographers do you need? 0:09:18.030 --> 0:09:18.770 Oh, man. 0:09:18.809 --> 0:09:20.270 They just kept getting in the way. 0:09:20.490 --> 0:09:24.130 And then remember they were going, the Italian videographers were going, righto, 0:09:24.450 --> 0:09:27.080 so Matt and Lotto who were getting married, they did 0:09:27.100 --> 0:09:28.020 the walkout and everything. 0:09:28.059 --> 0:09:29.140 Righto, let's go. 0:09:29.179 --> 0:09:31.640 And then the videographer goes, oh, just go back down 0:09:31.660 --> 0:09:33.240 and we're going to recreate it so we can get 0:09:33.260 --> 0:09:33.760 a better shot. 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:35.300 Because they forgot the pedals. 0:09:35.600 --> 0:09:37.760 They forgot to throw the pedals and stuff everywhere. So 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:39.679 it was like we were going to have to reshoot 0:09:39.700 --> 0:09:40.970 the whole wedding. Okay. 0:09:42.240 --> 0:09:45.760 Can we just, can we move on? Can we address 0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:47.120 the elephant in the room? 0:09:47.660 --> 0:09:50.980 Whatever it is, as long as it doesn't have to 0:09:51.020 --> 0:09:53.930 be cut, we're. 0:09:52.730 --> 0:09:55.810 Allowed to say it. Just how long? Just have a think. 0:09:56.650 --> 0:09:59.950 What they wanted, Dominic, the flog, the exam flogger, back. 0:10:00.010 --> 0:10:03.370 was just trying to wind up all the time. Lotta's 0:10:03.410 --> 0:10:09.620 dad did a speech, and he did it in Finnish, Italian, 0:10:09.890 --> 0:10:15.059 and then English. And then he pulled out a piano accordion. 0:10:15.100 --> 0:10:17.140 No, no, no. And then he was playing it, and 0:10:17.179 --> 0:10:18.140 he was doing his best. 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:19.000 Which was lovely. 0:10:19.840 --> 0:10:23.199 Yeah, and he was playing it, and Vic had Dominic 0:10:23.360 --> 0:10:26.680 up the back and going, like, cut him off. And 0:10:27.160 --> 0:10:29.910 I'm going, mate, I'm not going to, mate, like, he's 0:10:29.929 --> 0:10:32.510 got out, he pulled up his printer coordinate and just 0:10:32.570 --> 0:10:33.370 poured his heart out. 0:10:33.390 --> 0:10:35.050 And it was, like, culturally, like, significant. 0:10:35.110 --> 0:10:36.050 Very, yeah, yes. 0:10:36.110 --> 0:10:39.059 And he particularly learnt it to play because. 0:10:39.420 --> 0:10:42.840 Lotta is the last child of their family to be married. 0:10:42.960 --> 0:10:43.960 Yeah, he'd been practising. 0:10:43.980 --> 0:10:44.939 Yeah, it's really sweet. 0:10:45.380 --> 0:10:48.199 And he pulled it out and he spoke about the significance. 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:49.470 And two years. 0:10:49.880 --> 0:10:52.010 I said to him after, I said, mate, it was 0:10:52.030 --> 0:10:54.210 a tough debut, but good on you for playing the 0:10:54.250 --> 0:10:54.730 long game. 0:10:54.990 --> 0:10:56.470 You've been practising for two years. 0:10:56.550 --> 0:10:56.790 Yes. 0:10:57.450 --> 0:10:58.950 And it was pretty rough. 0:10:59.350 --> 0:10:59.470 And. 0:11:00.290 --> 0:11:03.170 But he was getting really emotional. And meanwhile, he's suddenly going, 0:11:03.330 --> 0:11:06.449 cut him off. I said, mate, he's been doing it 0:11:06.470 --> 0:11:10.050 for two years. Give him a bone. 0:11:10.150 --> 0:11:12.740 And he's the father of a bride. Let him have 0:11:12.770 --> 0:11:17.260 his moment. He was good. Marty was good though. Uncle Martin. 0:11:17.460 --> 0:11:21.680 Uncle Martin was fantastic. Father of the groom. He was 0:11:21.720 --> 0:11:22.340 on fire. 0:11:22.420 --> 0:11:26.160 At the end of the night, Marty's a bit of 0:11:26.179 --> 0:11:28.780 a character. He did confess to us that he sort 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:31.589 of left because by reading the room, he sort of 0:11:31.610 --> 0:11:34.839 left a few jokes on the floor. I think he 0:11:34.880 --> 0:11:37.800 watched Dad sort of bomb out early and he took 0:11:37.880 --> 0:11:38.200 a lot. 0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:40.420 Of the funny stuff out because he realised, like, no 0:11:40.460 --> 0:11:41.430 one's going to like it. 0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:42.380 Just play it straight. 0:11:42.500 --> 0:11:45.550 And the other one, mate, Matty Carroll. If you think, 0:11:45.570 --> 0:11:48.429 I bombed and Martin. 0:11:48.030 --> 0:11:49.770 Struggled and Cooper was struggling up there. 0:11:50.150 --> 0:11:50.709 Poor Martin. 0:11:51.270 --> 0:11:52.490 He was beautiful. 0:11:52.530 --> 0:11:54.490 His face was lovely. I didn't throw any jokes in. 0:11:54.610 --> 0:11:58.100 Matty got up and spoke really well, but then someone 0:11:58.160 --> 0:12:00.760 tipped him off, oh, mate, say this in Finnish. 0:12:00.960 --> 0:12:01.520 To impress them. 0:12:01.540 --> 0:12:04.140 And he went, oh, blah, blah, blah. Apparently, it's the 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:06.380 worst thing you can say in Finland. It's the most 0:12:06.470 --> 0:12:09.850 offensive rudeness. It was the equivalent. It's like a C-bomb. 0:12:09.870 --> 0:12:13.150 We did the equivalent translation to English. It was the 0:12:13.190 --> 0:12:16.880 equivalent of saying... you're a butted ass or something like that. 0:12:16.990 --> 0:12:18.990 And it was like– Look, it's not that. 0:12:19.150 --> 0:12:22.350 In English, it didn't have– it wouldn't have offended, but 0:12:23.170 --> 0:12:24.949 in their culture, you call someone that. 0:12:25.190 --> 0:12:26.470 Apparently, it's a. 0:12:26.470 --> 0:12:30.790 Word that people say when they're just so overwhelmed with aggression, 0:12:30.929 --> 0:12:32.560 they'll throw their hands in the air and they'll say it. 0:12:32.570 --> 0:12:34.410 I thought I'd say it a few times. 0:12:34.490 --> 0:12:40.770 And one of the– family goes oh say it because 0:12:40.809 --> 0:12:43.270 that's what he um calls like that's his nickname for 0:12:43.290 --> 0:12:44.989 matthew and it'll be really funny if you say and 0:12:45.010 --> 0:12:48.170 he goes oh and manny our cousin said it and 0:12:48.190 --> 0:12:50.300 like to paint what kind of guy matthew is like 0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:52.920 works in the mines and new cars a real hard-working 0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:56.000 bloke beautiful softly spoken sort of kicked back to himself 0:12:56.540 --> 0:12:59.120 and he said it and none of the aussies could 0:12:59.140 --> 0:13:01.080 laugh because they didn't know what he said all you 0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:02.880 heard was the finish just go oh. 0:13:03.929 --> 0:13:07.710 But what's worse it was the Our Matthew the groom's 0:13:08.010 --> 0:13:10.709 new brother-in-law, that was the guy that had said it. 0:13:10.750 --> 0:13:11.240 That said it. 0:13:11.309 --> 0:13:12.590 I feel like he just said it all. 0:13:12.650 --> 0:13:13.730 He's a questionable cat. 0:13:13.790 --> 0:13:17.090 Yeah. There was something else he did. Oh, but my 0:13:17.130 --> 0:13:17.910 favourite bit. 0:13:18.350 --> 0:13:22.250 Was I did hear the wedding clown and Dominic saying 0:13:22.270 --> 0:13:24.550 to the bride and her sister as the wedding cake 0:13:24.590 --> 0:13:25.950 was being brought out, this is. 0:13:25.929 --> 0:13:28.069 The best I can do. I was like, I wonder 0:13:28.090 --> 0:13:28.750 what that's about. 0:13:28.770 --> 0:13:31.810 And they cut the wedding cake and everything and then 0:13:31.870 --> 0:13:33.290 I was talking to the others. 0:13:33.770 --> 0:13:38.859 And the cake had written on it Just murried. Did 0:13:38.900 --> 0:13:39.580 you say that? 0:13:39.600 --> 0:13:41.140 Yeah, just murried. Just munted. 0:13:41.330 --> 0:13:42.730 Murried. 0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:44.709 Wait, don't worry. I can see him later. 0:13:44.730 --> 0:13:46.609 As we're about to leave, he was walking up and 0:13:46.630 --> 0:13:47.370 he was staggering. 0:13:47.730 --> 0:13:47.870 Who? 0:13:47.910 --> 0:13:50.530 I reckon he was out the back. 0:13:50.550 --> 0:13:51.610 Yeah, sweet. 0:13:51.650 --> 0:13:53.650 He was drilling darts out the front the whole time. Oh, 0:13:53.670 --> 0:13:55.630 was he too? He was just pumping darts and breaking hearts. 0:13:56.090 --> 0:13:58.650 Oh, man. He gets lung cancer. 0:13:59.130 --> 0:13:59.729 Are you going to. 0:14:00.470 --> 0:14:00.970 Can you stop? 0:14:00.990 --> 0:14:02.010 What are you fidgeting and eating? 0:14:02.030 --> 0:14:03.209 You're eating an airplane. 0:14:03.230 --> 0:14:04.630 Oh, it's just me, Bob. I'm just. 0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:08.160 I've lost my confidence over here. I'm so looking forward 0:14:08.179 --> 0:14:09.099 to coming to Pooley. 0:14:09.140 --> 0:14:10.320 Everyone hates me here. 0:14:10.340 --> 0:14:13.250 Dad, they took everyone to five this morning at Breckie. 0:14:13.260 --> 0:14:15.890 Dad's got to, yeah, Dad tried to talk. Everyone hates 0:14:15.929 --> 0:14:18.530 Dad in the south of Italy. And that's where we're 0:14:18.610 --> 0:14:19.110 out of here. 0:14:19.170 --> 0:14:20.050 And now he's leaving. 0:14:20.070 --> 0:14:23.030 He's changed the trip. He drove, he's got a hire car. 0:14:23.330 --> 0:14:24.250 They've driven down here. 0:14:24.290 --> 0:14:25.790 My near-death experience. 0:14:25.930 --> 0:14:26.910 He's the only one that can drive it. 0:14:26.910 --> 0:14:27.610 That was not good. 0:14:27.890 --> 0:14:30.790 And now he's changed and they're leaving and just leaving 0:14:30.810 --> 0:14:32.690 the country. And you have no idea how excited he 0:14:32.730 --> 0:14:34.410 was to come south. He's going, I want to go to. 0:14:34.380 --> 0:14:36.250 The old town. I want to do all this, all this, 0:14:36.290 --> 0:14:36.530 all this. 0:14:36.820 --> 0:14:39.460 And then after one night of bombing, he's literally just 0:14:39.600 --> 0:14:41.300 getting out of here as quick as he can. 0:14:41.420 --> 0:14:44.020 And, mate, yesterday me and Trish had an argument. So 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:44.940 I said, bugger it. 0:14:44.980 --> 0:14:45.660 Just yesterday. 0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:47.960 I'm going to walk to the next town. It took 0:14:47.980 --> 0:14:48.720 me two hours. 0:14:48.740 --> 0:14:51.340 It was like a suicide march because, mate, I was 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:54.780 walking along this main highway and I was halfway there 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:55.880 so I couldn't turn back. 0:14:56.390 --> 0:15:00.830 Mate, cars were coming past me at, mate, 100 clicks. And, mate, 0:15:00.870 --> 0:15:03.360 they were that far. A couple of times, one coming 0:15:03.380 --> 0:15:04.700 out of the way, I had to jump over the 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:06.160 guardrail to get. 0:15:06.080 --> 0:15:06.880