Speaker 1: Ben Lomas is pure sunshine and a life enthusiast, a
Speaker 1: lover of huge laughs, saunas, camping, luxA and the absurd.
Speaker 1: He's also a stand up comedian, gold Medal behind the
Speaker 1: Scenes TV guy, actor, TV presenter, and giver of the
Speaker 1: best hugs of all time when he speaks English with
Speaker 1: the Dutch accent, I am weak, chrisy Casters, please meet
Speaker 1: the adorable Ben Lomas.
Speaker 2: It's great to be here.
Speaker 3: I was going to ask if you could just give
Speaker 3: me some Dutch.
Speaker 4: Now, well, I'm just gone back from all this and
Speaker 4: it's great to be here, and a lot of people
Speaker 4: are looking at mere going who the fuck is issue?
Speaker 2: That's how they say think. They say furk better than fuck.
Speaker 1: Is there anyone in your life that loves your Dutch
Speaker 1: accent more than I do?
Speaker 4: Ticking inspectors, ticket inspectors love her? Yeah, what do you mean, toll,
Speaker 4: Because there was a period where in my twenties when
Speaker 4: I just had no money and the ticket spaces would
Speaker 4: come on, they'd ask for my ticket and I'd be like,
Speaker 4: I'm having such a wonderful time here in Sydney, having
Speaker 4: no one stop it, stop it, let you off, And
Speaker 4: then they're like, Na, you need you need to be
Speaker 4: you need to get a mic, you need to tap
Speaker 4: on tab off. And I'm like, I live in a
Speaker 4: big house of cheese and I used to just used to.
Speaker 4: That's the only time I used to really use the Dutchess.
Speaker 3: Is it the only time? Would you ever bring it out?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 4: Sometimes I like to bring it out when I'm talking
Speaker 4: to the children and they find that they're really really annoying.
Speaker 3: Well, I love it. I don't find it annoying at all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you love it, And it's because a lot of
Speaker 2: people don't.
Speaker 4: Because if you're listening to this in the car right
Speaker 4: now and you hear the Dutch accents, you may possibly
Speaker 4: know a Dutch person.
Speaker 2: And I think we can all agree they're crazy. They're
Speaker 2: all crazy.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, My mom's crazy, all my family and home it's crazy.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's why I like it, because I too am crazy.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, I haven't.
Speaker 1: I haven't, And I've only ever had sort of like
Speaker 1: experiences with Dutch people's secondhand. So like a guy that
Speaker 1: I did Big Brother with twenty years ago, Dan mckinnis,
Speaker 1: remember with the pointy hair.
Speaker 3: Nobody remembers mckinnit's was his dad's name.
Speaker 1: His mum was Dutch and then all her brothers obviously
Speaker 1: as well as Dutch. And I used to beg him
Speaker 1: to sing a song about ice cream in a Dutch
Speaker 1: accent that his uncle used to do.
Speaker 3: Uncle Bol, And for hours.
Speaker 1: I could just listen to him going, I scream your scream.
Speaker 1: Everybody likes ice cream, baby, there's what we like.
Speaker 3: And I just I just love it. It's my favorite accent.
Speaker 4: Well, it's also when you hear, when you hear when
Speaker 4: it's a really thick accent. So when my grandparents used
Speaker 4: to come to Australia, they would come every two years
Speaker 4: in the eighties, yeah, to visit us because we migrated
Speaker 4: from Hulli and we'd get our grandma and grandpa just
Speaker 4: to we get them to sing songs just in a
Speaker 4: Dutch accent. And so it was just like listen to
Speaker 4: my olm, I just go blue blue blue stets shoes,
Speaker 4: blue blue blue shoes.
Speaker 2: Like it's like any song, like it's so funny and
Speaker 2: with the r's and p's.
Speaker 4: So we used to make my grandfather Opa say goody,
Speaker 4: goody good.
Speaker 3: I love making older people say stuff like.
Speaker 4: Performance it's amazing.
Speaker 1: When I was a teenager, me and my best friend
Speaker 1: Beck used to be in fits of laughter forcing my mum,
Speaker 1: who's very proper, to say pussy.
Speaker 3: And we would trick her to say.
Speaker 2: See, that is so much fun.
Speaker 1: It's so much fun, and she wouldn't because they don't
Speaker 1: understand what's funny and gnawy about it, which is half
Speaker 1: the joy of it.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, So we.
Speaker 1: Would say things like you know, mum say, or you
Speaker 1: know my friend would say, Patty Swan, Patty Swans say,
Speaker 1: you know, my my pussy is fairy, and she'd go,
Speaker 1: my pussy is fairy just the way she'd say it
Speaker 1: absolute heaven or just when.
Speaker 4: I love it, when I get like especially, my grandparents
Speaker 4: would order like home. Once we were kids, they went
Speaker 4: to McDonald's and we never got McDonald's kids. She had
Speaker 4: those parents, and then we went there with Obama and
Speaker 4: they were like, good, I please against a ski junior buggers.
Speaker 3: Three junior buggers.
Speaker 1: Speaking of your connection with Holland, you and I recently
Speaker 1: had a conversation on a TV set that I have
Speaker 1: thought about every day since, and then you've been on
Speaker 1: holidays and I've been on holidays, and we haven't really
Speaker 1: had a chance to regroup after unpackaged what you said
Speaker 1: to me. And this, I'm hoping is your surprising story
Speaker 1: that you've prepped.
Speaker 2: Yes it is.
Speaker 4: It's fresh in my mind at the moment because I'm
Speaker 4: trying to unpack it myself. So I just I went
Speaker 4: to I went to Europe. I went to Europe. I
Speaker 4: went to.
Speaker 2: Sorry, sorry, I went to the home land.
Speaker 3: You made the field.
Speaker 2: I went back to where I was born.
Speaker 4: And so the whole plan was I was going to
Speaker 4: take my partner and the kids back to Holland to
Speaker 4: go visit my grandmother who still was the only remaining
Speaker 4: sort of family member there. I've got some other lots
Speaker 4: of very close friends there because I've lived in Amsterdam.
Speaker 4: You know, I did UNI over there. I managed a nightclub.
Speaker 4: We don't have time to get to do that. So anyway,
Speaker 4: so it was all planned so for the kids to
Speaker 4: meet their great great grandmother.
Speaker 3: And what dates were you planning?
Speaker 4: So we're planning to go mid September last year, and
Speaker 4: the plan was, yeah, just we booked it. You know,
Speaker 4: we've got some cheap and when I say jee, Dill's
Speaker 4: about to take a mortgage on these flights. But that's
Speaker 4: the way it is at the moment. Anyway, So I
Speaker 4: get a call from my mom going, hey, I know
Speaker 4: you're leaving in seven weeks. You should give Omar a call.
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, well, what's up. She has no
Speaker 4: reason anything, should probably give you a call. I was like,
Speaker 4: is everything occasionally? Everything's fine, everything's fine.
Speaker 1: She just wants to tell you her pussy is fairy pussy.
Speaker 3: Thank you, olm olm.
Speaker 4: Then and so, anyway, so I get a call from
Speaker 4: my olmer. Now am I almost ninety two years old?
Speaker 4: And her name's Tinny. I call it Alma Tinny and
Speaker 4: she's like and then I think, context, I'm going to
Speaker 4: do her voice in.
Speaker 2: A Dutch accent. I think it's fair. It's yeah, hi
Speaker 2: Ben or who kat?
Speaker 4: Which is hello?
Speaker 2: Have are you?
Speaker 4: And so we just started chatting and I said, hey,
Speaker 4: look really looking forward to seeing it, really looking forward
Speaker 4: to it. Kids are looking forward to it. She goes,
Speaker 4: I've got some bad news. I won't be here. I
Speaker 4: said what, And she goes, are you going to go away? No,
Speaker 4: like we've planned this, and she.
Speaker 1: Goes, so you've planned for midst temper to go and
Speaker 1: see her. When is this conversation.
Speaker 4: Occur about six weeks beforehand.
Speaker 2: July is July yep. And so she calls up and
Speaker 2: she lets.
Speaker 4: Me know that she won't be there, and I assume
Speaker 4: she was going away and she goes no to let
Speaker 4: me know, She goes, I've had enough, I've booked in
Speaker 4: euthanasia and I won't be here. I was like what,
Speaker 4: and she goes, yes, I've decided enough's enough.
Speaker 2: I want to go out on my terms.
Speaker 3: What does she mean? Enough is enough? Terminally? Ill?
Speaker 2: No see?
Speaker 4: And I love this. I love this for two reasons.
Speaker 3: I just can't get my head around it.
Speaker 4: I know, but no one can. Like there's only two
Speaker 4: of us and we know each other really well. And
Speaker 4: Wade's over there going you can feel his Sphinx to Titan.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 4: It's in this country the idea of euthanasia freaks people
Speaker 4: out right. And it freaked me out because I was like,
Speaker 4: hang on, what do you mean? And you don't get
Speaker 4: to choose, You don't get to choose. And there she
Speaker 4: made the decision that she wanted enough, and I was like,
Speaker 4: this is a terminal.
Speaker 2: She goes no. I was like, is it? Do you have?
Speaker 1: It?
Speaker 4: Is? Like? I kept asking what's wrong? And she goes,
Speaker 4: I've got a dicky knee.
Speaker 2: Like I was like.
Speaker 4: I was like, and she goes, no, I just don't
Speaker 4: want to end up in a nursing home and I'd
Speaker 4: like to go out on my terms.
Speaker 2: And she goes, I know you're coming, I know you're coming.
Speaker 3: Couldn't she have waited?
Speaker 4: On?
Speaker 2: I was like, why couldn't you wait?
Speaker 4: But she couldn't, and she had it in her head
Speaker 4: that she wanted to do it, And so I didn't
Speaker 4: know how to react to it because it felt surreal.
Speaker 1: Power an agency of that decision is breath taking it.
Speaker 4: It's crazy, and for context, it's not like you can
Speaker 4: make that. It's not like getting the haircut, and just
Speaker 4: for contexts, you can't just go, yeah, well you know,
Speaker 4: I get their haircuts on Wednesday and then on Thursday.
Speaker 3: So how does it work?
Speaker 4: So you get two doctors, you get two doctors that
Speaker 4: work in that area, and they're the ones that assess you.
Speaker 4: If they both agree that it's the best fit, then
Speaker 4: you can go ahead and do it.
Speaker 3: Couldn't I don't know.
Speaker 1: It just sounds like she was tired or something. I
Speaker 1: have felt like, if there was an opportunity for me
Speaker 1: to end it, I probably would have taken it in
Speaker 1: the last tea, but I was just tired.
Speaker 2: And this is the thing. That's how I first reacted
Speaker 2: as well.
Speaker 4: I was like, you know, it couldn't be the sort
Speaker 4: of neat maybe she needs different medications.
Speaker 3: But about a physio, not a blue needle.
Speaker 2: But what was interesting is that it took weeks.
Speaker 4: Like there's also checks and balances, so they went back
Speaker 4: and then asked her if she was still up for it,
Speaker 4: like she then speaks to a councilor like.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of checks and balances leading up to it.
Speaker 1: But the bottom line is it's still okay to make
Speaker 1: that decision for yourself based on the fact that you
Speaker 1: can't be bothered living anymore.
Speaker 4: Well yeah, and the fact that you want to go
Speaker 4: out on your terms, like and I think above a
Speaker 4: certain agent Holland they allow that, which is amazing.
Speaker 3: How long has this been the case in Holland.
Speaker 4: I think it's been for many years. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Again, like I've just come back from holidays.
Speaker 4: It's fresh in my head because I've started writing about
Speaker 4: it and trying to unpack it myself.
Speaker 2: Because my first reaction was.
Speaker 6: The same, why god, you wait, yeah, we're coming. I
Speaker 6: haven't seen you because of COVID, I haven't seen you
Speaker 6: in seven years. But I think she felt so strongly
Speaker 6: about it that you know, enough was enough.
Speaker 1: And other people in Holland as shocked by this or
Speaker 1: is it like growing up in Australia where you just
Speaker 1: know that vegamite is a tasty treat, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean?
Speaker 3: Like culturally, did.
Speaker 2: We just compare your phenasia do a yeasty spread? Yes?
Speaker 1: We did, because people who don't live in Australia think
Speaker 1: it's weird and they don't understand it.
Speaker 3: But we've grown up with it. It's part of our DNA.
Speaker 1: So is this cultural absolutely a concept that accepted absolutely?
Speaker 3: Like it's amazing to me it was.
Speaker 2: I spoke to a friend of mine who who like was.
Speaker 4: Say, because I was sharing this with Australian friends and
Speaker 4: friends of ours and then blow their mind. And then
Speaker 4: they'd also just go, you know what was the last
Speaker 4: phone call? Like like like jokes coming thinking fast when
Speaker 4: I was explaining to friends when I went over there
Speaker 4: and she'd already passed, it's so normal and that's what
Speaker 4: I found so amazing. I was like, of course, this
Speaker 4: progressive country and with all its flaws, right, It's just
Speaker 4: they think about the human first. And that's where it's like,
Speaker 4: I was a friend of mine and she goes, she goes, oh, yeah,
Speaker 4: yeah it my grandma did this. But she goes.
Speaker 2: But she decided to let us know. I love this.
Speaker 4: They were having Christmas Eve dinner and she decided to
Speaker 4: let them know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, on New Year's Eve, I'd like to go.
Speaker 4: And they're like, well, it doesn't work like that.
Speaker 2: Six days notice, six days notice.
Speaker 4: And in the end, of course, it was a couple
Speaker 4: of months because they but she thought in.
Speaker 1: Her head the blood red tape, I know, Nanny's yeah,
Speaker 1: well what an extrawdinary restore it.
Speaker 4: But also like, if I think about it, I was gutted.
Speaker 4: I was gutted because I wanted to see her. Of course,
Speaker 4: last grandmother. I wanted to see her, and then and
Speaker 4: then so but then what was interesting was the last
Speaker 4: phone call.
Speaker 2: The goodbye was amazing.
Speaker 4: It was so surreal, but also just the conversation we
Speaker 4: had it did feel like the last one.
Speaker 3: Did you want to record it? No?
Speaker 2: And that's the thing.
Speaker 4: I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 2: I'd finished work. I just did it. I just did
Speaker 2: you know a forty.
Speaker 4: Five minute comedy set, had a great show, and then
Speaker 4: I set aside. This time she didn't have a phone,
Speaker 4: so I couldn't a video call, so it was just
Speaker 4: voice to voice, and in the end it was kind
Speaker 4: of beautiful, Like it was probably the nicest goodbye I
Speaker 4: probably will ever have to anyone passing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it would have been.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking to my grand who I absolutely adored. And
Speaker 1: the advantage I guess of knowing when she was going
Speaker 1: to die would have been I would have given I
Speaker 1: would have had the opportunity, yeap, to have that conversation,
Speaker 1: whereas as it was probably the last time I spoke
Speaker 1: to her was yeah, I'm bored or whatever, you know,
Speaker 1: like a really pointless conversation because she died suddenly with
Speaker 1: no notice and I never really got the chance to
Speaker 1: connect with her and tell her what she meant to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's whether this is the future in our country.
Speaker 4: We were able to step aside and be able to
Speaker 4: do that, But if it's if we do it more than.
Speaker 1: It's given the results of the recent referendum, I'm guessing
Speaker 1: that we're not really that progressive.
Speaker 2: Well, we're not, and we.
Speaker 4: Have a long way to go right, but maybe there'll
Speaker 4: be an opportunity where those kind of changes will occur.
Speaker 4: Because when I had the conversation Chrissy was it was
Speaker 4: just it was amazing. I said, I said to hey,
Speaker 4: say hello to old Park because I was very close.
Speaker 4: It was closer more to my open than I was.
Speaker 4: But say a load to him. I miss him on
Speaker 4: the other side, on the other side, right, and a
Speaker 4: load to your sisters right right.
Speaker 3: You know there's no such things right.
Speaker 2: I was like, she did you went to church?
Speaker 4: She did do it. I was like, just respect and
Speaker 4: she goes, wow, is there another side?
Speaker 6: She had a couple this here's it was like, come,
Speaker 6: what were all those sundays?
Speaker 2: Like you get right to the end of.
Speaker 4: You start questioning it now like and then I loved
Speaker 4: it because then I made I was like, I was like,
Speaker 4: because I was awkward and I am, I go to
Speaker 4: thing you know, comic is to make.
Speaker 2: Light of it, I said.
Speaker 4: And her sister would never stop talking like her sister
Speaker 4: on a maino would just keep talking. Right.
Speaker 2: And so my old pa and she lived next door.
Speaker 4: So when I when I used to go visit was
Speaker 4: always would just have to listen to her sister just
Speaker 4: talk and talk and dog And I said, well, I
Speaker 4: think I think both of them are looking forward to
Speaker 4: you coming up there because finally Obah doesn't have to
Speaker 4: listen to.
Speaker 3: You would love that.
Speaker 2: And I gotta giggle, I gotta giggle.
Speaker 3: Like right, she laughed.
Speaker 4: And then as we wrapped it up, and this is
Speaker 4: what was so sur real, like you know, and like
Speaker 4: the joke's coming, thinking fast. Every time I tell someone knew,
Speaker 4: they're like, how did you end the phone call? Is that?
Speaker 2: Did you know? You hang up?
Speaker 4: No? You hang up?
Speaker 3: God's so so bizarre.
Speaker 4: And then because I remember the phone call was nineteen
Speaker 4: minutes and thirteen seconds, right, and it was bizarre.
Speaker 2: It was I hadn't planned it. I just knew i'd call,
Speaker 2: but it just didn't feel like it was going to.
Speaker 4: Be the last one until we finally said goodbye, because
Speaker 4: then we said goodbye. And then the next day, literally
Speaker 4: twenty four hours later, my kind of my auntie over
Speaker 4: there equivalent, she sent through a photo of her holding
Speaker 4: her hand and she'd passed.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 4: And it's so funny to think now because I went
Speaker 4: over there and spoke to the extended family, and it
Speaker 4: just it felt like because I hadn't seen her in
Speaker 4: seven years.
Speaker 2: The phone call kind of was.
Speaker 4: A really nice way to say goodbye rather than saying
Speaker 4: goodbye in person. I know that sounds weird, but it's
Speaker 4: like that phone call which in my head before I
Speaker 4: was I'm gonna have this discussion, I thought it just
Speaker 4: wouldn't it wouldn't feel I wouldn't feel anything. And then
Speaker 4: after thinking about it, I was like, it was probably
Speaker 4: one of the as goodbyes I've ever said to anyone
Speaker 4: passing amazing. Yeah, I still find it funny because I've
Speaker 4: had your other comedians go, well, you could have do
Speaker 4: the kids recognize that you could have gone over to
Speaker 4: Holland hid an act and pretend that to be.
Speaker 2: Your great.
Speaker 3: Trust.
Speaker 5: Comedians every dark angle, every dark angle can think of,
Speaker 5: they just they keep coming, And because I want to
Speaker 5: turn it into like a live show, I just want
Speaker 5: to unpack it even more every time I think about
Speaker 5: even this discussion now, I.
Speaker 4: Just haven't realized how important that phone call was until
Speaker 4: just talking to you, right, because I imagine I didn't
Speaker 4: have that.
Speaker 3: It's an extraordinary gift to be able to.
Speaker 4: Know when the person and to go out on their terms.
Speaker 3: Yes, you're Australian yes and Dutch yes.
Speaker 1: Where do you culturally lie on the concept of voluntary
Speaker 1: euthanasia for yourself?
Speaker 4: Oh? If I have a chance, I would love to
Speaker 4: go out on my own with my family around me.
Speaker 4: Might do a bit of a comedy set before I go.
Speaker 1: Out, because nobody wants to end up like Flossy Dickie.
Speaker 3: Do you know Flossi?
Speaker 2: Diny know who's Flossy Dicky?
Speaker 3: So it's a great name.
Speaker 1: She turned a hundred and she was in a home
Speaker 1: in America somewhere, and the local TV station heard that
Speaker 1: this woman was turning one hundred and sent a very
Speaker 1: chirpy news presenter out to cover the story.
Speaker 3: And there's this fantastic.
Speaker 1: Grab of this very old, frail woman sitting crumpled in
Speaker 1: a chair with this very perky American woman next to
Speaker 1: her with a giant microphone saying.
Speaker 3: You're about to tune a hundred, Flassy, how do you feel?
Speaker 1: And then Flossi looks straight down the barrel and she
Speaker 1: goes ums ol. Then the news reader says, Oh, I'm
Speaker 1: sure you're daying, flas, but aren't you excited about the
Speaker 1: party that we're planning for you?
Speaker 3: And Flossy goes not one.
Speaker 2: Bit lovely, Hio.
Speaker 1: My gift for Flossy would have been the same treatment
Speaker 1: that your Omar was able to take advantage of.
Speaker 3: What an extraordinary story.
Speaker 4: It is, and I every day I do think about it.
Speaker 1: It's time to play Shaky money Maker, Ben Lomass. How
Speaker 1: long have you been working in this business?
Speaker 2: A full time? I'd say now I'm coming out to
Speaker 2: ten years.
Speaker 1: So you must have done some very questionable things for money.
Speaker 1: Shaky money Maker is a segment where we talk about
Speaker 1: the strangest things that you have done for some filthy Luca. Okay,
Speaker 1: you takes some time.
Speaker 2: Well, as a comedian, you're like, it is hard to
Speaker 2: say no, right oh yeah.
Speaker 3: It starts with a yes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yes, yes to every gig, absolutely yes to every gig,
Speaker 4: and there are so many.
Speaker 2: The ones I enjoyed, the.
Speaker 4: Thet you just go through, you go through, Okay, you
Speaker 4: go through the stage deserve Yeah that was twenty bucks.
Speaker 2: There was okay.
Speaker 4: So one of my first ever paid gigs, right, was
Speaker 4: on a Yarrow cruise in Melbourne, right and so Booze cruise,
Speaker 4: a Booze cruise, and it was my first paid gig
Speaker 4: and it was a comedian from Perth called Janelle Coney.
Speaker 2: Oh I love you now, right, and.
Speaker 4: So this is my first gime. She was, she was
Speaker 4: she was emcing headlining at the same time and this,
Speaker 4: and she was when I met her, she was still
Speaker 4: in Melbourne and she was running these workshops and she says,
Speaker 4: I've got a gig for you, and anyway, we're on
Speaker 4: this and her and so I'm going.
Speaker 2: To use your gig. And she crushed it. She was,
Speaker 2: but I just.
Speaker 4: Didn't know what to do, and and so she opened
Speaker 4: the show with it was a great joke. She owes
Speaker 4: the show, got the guitar, and this is a rowdy
Speaker 4: bunch of people, right, And she goes.
Speaker 3: Living drunk since o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 4: She goes, Oh, I know, I know what the I
Speaker 4: know what. I know what the girls are thinking. Oh,
Speaker 4: beautiful red dress. I know what the guys are thinking.
Speaker 4: Oh I hope she does anal right and one of
Speaker 4: the best, still one of the best, right, and absolutely
Speaker 4: just crushes And then I go up there, right and
Speaker 4: I get nothing. I get nothing, and all I'm thinking about, Oh,
Speaker 4: this is my first paid gig. I was like, I'm
Speaker 4: getting money, right, And I bombed, like people stopped looking.
Speaker 4: At one stage, people left to go to the bar,
Speaker 4: like it was just the horrible And I remember I
Speaker 4: think I was supposed to do ten minutes. I did three, right,
Speaker 4: and then but this is the worst bit. It goes,
Speaker 4: I go, I can't leave, I.
Speaker 2: Can't get off the boat.
Speaker 4: So I go to the back of the boat and
Speaker 4: I just stand in the corner. And I remember one
Speaker 4: guy comes out and just looks at me and goes, yeah,
Speaker 4: should probably have another PM.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he didn't think of stealing her line
Speaker 1: when nothing was working, and saying, I know what the
Speaker 1: girls are thinking.
Speaker 3: I know the guys are thinking.
Speaker 4: I was so fresh, and she and I just remember,
Speaker 4: I remember, I haven't thought about this in so long.
Speaker 4: It was the first time that pop into my head.
Speaker 4: But just be confident. I just was so I was
Speaker 4: so young. I just didn't have anything.
Speaker 3: How much was in the envelope at the end of it.
Speaker 4: I think it was like it was something like forty
Speaker 4: dollars or twenty dollars.
Speaker 2: I remember it was that were red. There wasn't many
Speaker 2: of them.
Speaker 1: A couple of lobsters, a couple of weirdly more than
Speaker 1: you're getting for this ye, but.
Speaker 4: It's it's amazing, Like I still because I've waked on
Speaker 4: a lot of television shows that have been canceled after
Speaker 4: three episodes where you're just like, Wow, what's going on?
Speaker 4: Or then you'll say yes to a corporate gig out
Speaker 4: in the country and only you know, four farmers show
Speaker 4: up and you're like, there's only so many, so many
Speaker 4: times you can say what do you.
Speaker 3: Do for a living?
Speaker 1: This element of what you do for a living just
Speaker 1: inspires such awe from me because I could do that
Speaker 1: once and never again. I could never feel that worthless
Speaker 1: over and over again. It is the most extraordinary character
Speaker 1: trait for people that work in your business.
Speaker 2: Because when, especially at the start, it toughens you up.
Speaker 4: Because it's quite often you can go on to it
Speaker 4: with comedians who don't experience that, and some of them
Speaker 4: are liking enough to gang. Before you know it, you're
Speaker 4: famous and you're doing theaters right, and so you don't.
Speaker 4: But it's so funny I think about those gigs building
Speaker 4: up to them becoming a frecial cament.
Speaker 2: That are some of my favorite moments because when you're.
Speaker 4: Backstage with a bunch of comediences, which a lot of
Speaker 4: your friends and our friends.
Speaker 2: All we talk about is those gigs. We don't talk
Speaker 2: about the ones that went well. We never do. They're boring,
Speaker 2: that's work. We talk about the one.
Speaker 4: Time where there's you know, there's just a whole bunch
Speaker 4: of hecklers the front row, just absolutely just having the worst.
Speaker 3: What's the most brutal heckle you've ever had?
Speaker 4: Ah, the most brutal one was. I was doing a
Speaker 4: corporate function. It was a concreting firm or something like that.
Speaker 1: And already, I mean, I'm going the way of Omar,
Speaker 1: Like immediately, That's what I would tell the two physicians
Speaker 1: that examining me.
Speaker 4: But I think I remember that one because I was
Speaker 4: getting nothing. I was getting nothing and against the tendon
Speaker 4: of marketing, and somebody yells out, he goes, hey mate,
Speaker 4: if you don't get funny, we're going to kill you. Now.
Speaker 2: I thought, oh, yeah, I thought building concrete, I'm not
Speaker 2: going to kill you.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was like building concrete. I was like, I can
Speaker 2: use it. I was like, oh, what are you going
Speaker 2: to do?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: Cement my feet together and throw me in the bay.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 3: I was like classic Riffin, take that, stay down.
Speaker 4: And then he just goes, oh, no, mate, just by
Speaker 4: looking at you, you'll seek just fine.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: And I was like, I got this is the most
Speaker 4: perfect tackle.
Speaker 1: I hope that you took the two pineapples all lobsters
Speaker 1: you got from that gig and gave it to that man.
Speaker 4: The only I said yes because it was a good pay.
Speaker 4: It was like that was when I started getting it
Speaker 4: a little bit more.
Speaker 1: Is good pay To turn up to a replace and
Speaker 1: be threatened with murder?
Speaker 2: Well, it's sobody at the time. You don't think.
Speaker 4: You just think because that's the thing that falls you
Speaker 4: when they're at cash. And I just want to say,
Speaker 4: I've never taken a never and all my income is
Speaker 4: with the A thank you very much. But if they
Speaker 4: if they are, if those ones.
Speaker 2: Around, but they're far and few, you've heard about it.
Speaker 2: You've heard about them. Because it's funny because I think,
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 4: About those gigs and then and then I think about
Speaker 4: my first job. And then I was just talking about
Speaker 4: just come away from all those one of my best
Speaker 4: mates and we just talked about that. We used to
Speaker 4: we used to deliver papers like everyone.
Speaker 3: Right, Oh I didn't.
Speaker 2: But it was just like at the end of the weekend.
Speaker 2: We never knew how much we get.
Speaker 1: Paid to what I did. I agreed to do a
Speaker 1: paper round. I've never told anybody this. I agreed to
Speaker 1: do a paper round and hot on it. Like they're
Speaker 1: at the news agency. Very early, loaded them onto the
Speaker 1: bike onto the rally. After about four minutes of delivering
Speaker 1: these pamphlets. They were brochures like for super AMR or whatever.
Speaker 1: I thought, this is fucked.
Speaker 3: I am not.
Speaker 1: I'm not doing this for four dollars at the end
Speaker 1: of the day. So I just took them all to
Speaker 1: a rubbish bin and threw them in.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they've been a lot of people angry that they
Speaker 4: couldn't read the odd spot I need. You know what's
Speaker 4: It's funny because when I did it, it's the guy.
Speaker 4: We just talked about it because my best man was
Speaker 4: really good at it and I was the worst. And
Speaker 4: the guy John, if you listen to this podcast, you
Speaker 4: know who you are news agency. I'm at the down
Speaker 4: Street North Carldon. You hated me because every time I'd
Speaker 4: come back and I have a flat tire. Every time
Speaker 4: every time it would break, it would do something. And
Speaker 4: I remember he brought the bike once and I remember
Speaker 4: he's like is the bike ocade.
Speaker 3: Bad tradesman blames the tools.
Speaker 2: There was a nail like three inches in the tire.
Speaker 4: He goes, that's not good and I just pulling it
Speaker 4: out and watching the tires go.
Speaker 3: So that paper round actually cost you money?
Speaker 4: Absolutely? Absolutely.
Speaker 1: Speaking of jobs, previous jobs, current jobs, you and I met,
Speaker 1: I don't know where we met.
Speaker 4: Actually, this is a really good question. I don't know
Speaker 4: if it's when I came first time to be interviewed.
Speaker 4: I think that's I feel like that was the first
Speaker 4: and then we weren't done a show together.
Speaker 1: Yes, well you and I work on the mask singer. Yes,
Speaker 1: and now is time for a round of what's in
Speaker 1: the bum bag?
Speaker 3: Ben Lomass?
Speaker 2: What's in the bum bag?
Speaker 4: Sting? Sting?
Speaker 3: What's in the.
Speaker 4: So? I am now going to open the bum bagy? Okay,
Speaker 4: here we go there.
Speaker 1: Please describe to our beautiful podcast is what is in
Speaker 1: the bum bag?
Speaker 3: The Lomass is.
Speaker 2: A model of the Titanic.
Speaker 3: And why would that be in the bumbbag for you?
Speaker 4: I don't know. Are we even allowed to talk about this? Yes,
Speaker 4: we are one hundred percent. You've got you've given the okay, No,
Speaker 4: I don't think I've.
Speaker 2: Think given the Okay, tell it.
Speaker 4: I don't think I can.
Speaker 3: I've told it on air.
Speaker 2: You've told it on air.
Speaker 4: Okay, really, so this is the Tonay and I believe
Speaker 4: this was supposed to be a costume on the Mussinger.
Speaker 2: Is that correct?
Speaker 3: Correct?
Speaker 4: This is amazing.
Speaker 1: Please describe what happened when you and I put two
Speaker 1: and two together, well, live in front of hundreds of people.
Speaker 4: Well, because we were going to show, we realized that
Speaker 4: in the who was.
Speaker 3: The person Brendan Fava, Which, to.
Speaker 4: Be fair credit to you that you even knew what
Speaker 4: the freaking You're very good at guessing.
Speaker 3: You are you like, it's a superpower.
Speaker 4: It's a superpower. But also you just seem to know
Speaker 4: people's voice extremely well. And so we have this question
Speaker 4: that came out and what was it called the captain?
Speaker 2: The captain?
Speaker 4: Okay, the captain, the captain. Like that's weird because the
Speaker 4: captain looks like a ship that's upside down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but the captain was very festive. The captain came out,
Speaker 1: he sang who he was. He absolutely was a giant ship,
Speaker 1: but he was a fair star, the funship kind of guy, right,
Speaker 1: and he had festoon flags and he was dancing around
Speaker 1: a stage that had a suspiciously shaped sandy hill and
Speaker 1: lots of people dancing around in bikinis. But there was
Speaker 1: something not right about the Captain and the set.
Speaker 3: It looked rushed.
Speaker 4: But also, but it's so funny because it's hard to
Speaker 4: then look at in hindsight, because behind the scenes there
Speaker 4: was a lot of Oh my god, what's going on?
Speaker 4: What's going on? We need to do it, we need
Speaker 4: to do it now. We don't really hear that. We
Speaker 4: don't hear that. I hear it a bit more because
Speaker 4: I'm coming in and I'm a backstage.
Speaker 1: The first time that we knew about this new mask
Speaker 1: the Captain was when he was unveiled, And right at
Speaker 1: the moment that we realized something wasn't right about the set,
Speaker 1: you and I locked eyes and laughed laughing. I could
Speaker 1: hear you squealing over he baby. Why were we laughing?
Speaker 4: Because we just realized that they had to quickly change
Speaker 4: it from being a Titanic to something else.
Speaker 2: They couldn't do the dynam with what which what happened.
Speaker 1: To affair start the fund ship? Yes, because the week
Speaker 1: before the what is it called the submarine had exploded
Speaker 1: underwater and killed everyone inside going to the Titanic.
Speaker 2: So bad quick but to their credit.
Speaker 3: Amazing work, amazing, amazing.
Speaker 4: Work because what they had to do is they had
Speaker 4: to quickly think and all departments yes, which was this
Speaker 4: is why we were laughing to laugh. It was like
Speaker 4: the quick thinking, the ability of wardrobe to change it correct, right,
Speaker 4: to change it. But then my favorite it is the
Speaker 4: quick thinking of the PROVS team and shout out to
Speaker 4: them because no one knows, no one knew, no one knew.
Speaker 1: The day the submarine exploded and sadly killed everyone on board,
Speaker 1: it was a tragic story. Everyone was talking about it.
Speaker 1: The Captain was due to arrive on set, not as
Speaker 1: the Captain, as the Titanic. The set was a giant iceberg.
Speaker 1: The dancers around the Titanic were originally dressed as you
Speaker 1: know nineteen twenties people that were boarding the Titanic.
Speaker 2: Can your attention to dtail's phenomenal This.
Speaker 1: Is my favorite part. The Captain previously known as the
Speaker 1: Titanic had a large train of frothy sea around him,
Speaker 1: and sewn into that frothy sea were tiny little dead
Speaker 1: bodies which had to be expertly clipped off so that
Speaker 1: the Titanic could become the Captain fair Star the Fundship Vibe.
Speaker 3: Then very quickly.
Speaker 1: The iceberg had to be painted in sandy colors and
Speaker 1: a big palm tree thrown on it.
Speaker 4: And that's because I remember so vivially because I was like, oh, well, then,
Speaker 4: what was beforehand?
Speaker 2: Because we knew it was such a qick dinner out.
Speaker 4: And that's why I was amazed, because it was a
Speaker 4: stroke of genius because it was a gigantic assberg.
Speaker 2: Then got sprayed completely yellow.
Speaker 4: And just add it and again I guess this is
Speaker 4: what they get paid the big bucks is Then I
Speaker 4: don't know, a palm tree just appeared in the middle,
Speaker 4: and I was like, that is amazing.
Speaker 1: And you can just see them backstage going yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you got it, yeah, absolutely, and especially I can't
Speaker 4: remember her name, but she was just absolutely I remember
Speaker 4: there was just someone colored half in the yellow because
Speaker 4: they were just still going just to make it look
Speaker 4: like an island, which it did.
Speaker 1: Which it absolutely did. We just sensed there was something,
Speaker 1: but don't.
Speaker 2: You find it though?
Speaker 4: On all the shows you wrote Dad that and this
Speaker 4: is where like, because we're quite often there at the
Speaker 4: last day on the record day. The amount of effort
Speaker 4: that goes into even putting anything of any someone production,
Speaker 4: especially something like that. It's just the amount of effort
Speaker 4: from every department just to get to the fire. What
Speaker 4: people see at home, I sometimes I hope they realize.
Speaker 2: How hard it.
Speaker 1: I know, the person power. I've never seen so many
Speaker 1: people in studio blacks in my life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's amazing. Shout out to them all.
Speaker 3: Shout out to it, because it's not an easy job.
Speaker 2: Were he in television?
Speaker 1: Just question though obviously they had to pivot away from
Speaker 1: the Titanic because of that tragic story. Riddle me this, though,
Speaker 1: Is it ever tasteful to have dead bodies sown? Like
Speaker 1: the story itself is a very sad story even originally?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 4: I mean that's actually a good point. I never thought
Speaker 4: about it that. I mean, I never saw the original costume,
Speaker 4: so therefore, I mean I can't I wouldn't know it.
Speaker 1: You almost saw it very close. Okay, here is your chance.
Speaker 1: I don't even know if you've prepped. Yes, if you haven't,
Speaker 1: you don't need to do it.
Speaker 2: No one, Okay, all.
Speaker 1: Right, here is your opportunity, Ben Lomas to ask me
Speaker 1: anything and by anything, I mean anything go hard, balls out.
Speaker 4: Balls out.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 4: I spoke about this as my partner and I was
Speaker 4: just like, oh, what could you ask it? And my
Speaker 4: original question was, but just because you've changed it, like
Speaker 4: you're just like anything, because I want to know, is
Speaker 4: there anything in your in your twenties that you did
Speaker 4: at the time thought was great but deeply regret. Right,
Speaker 4: That was my original question because I'm fascinated by that
Speaker 4: because only because you know, we've gone from laughter to
Speaker 4: seriousness and I think that's what this podcast will be.
Speaker 4: I don't know, I think it definitely will be. And
Speaker 4: because we've become we're relatively new friends, and I love
Speaker 4: that because it's in this interesty. It's hard to make friends,
Speaker 4: especially if you've got a family and being genuine with
Speaker 4: one another. Yeah, it's hard, and you would.
Speaker 1: Know that, like, yeah, it's a bit of a miracle, actually,
Speaker 1: I think yeah.
Speaker 4: And it doesn't happen often because there's a level of
Speaker 4: trust in this industry which sometimes can be I guess
Speaker 4: like challenged time. Yeah, And that's why I feel so
Speaker 4: comfortable with you, and that's why I got excited that
Speaker 4: you asked me to do this because let's be real.
Speaker 4: I'm not a huge name. I'm not, but it's you
Speaker 4: like to focus on people being interesting.
Speaker 1: Yes, you're very lucky to be here, Ben, I agree,
Speaker 1: So let's get rid of that question.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I don't really believe in regrets.
Speaker 1: Probably, if I had to answer that question, the first
Speaker 1: thing that came to my mind was how I behaved
Speaker 1: when I ended my first serious relationship in my twenties.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm not proud of that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how I acted and how I treated and all
Speaker 1: of that. And I've grown since then and he and
Speaker 1: I are a really.
Speaker 3: Great friend totally.
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's probably the thing that stands out for
Speaker 1: me in my twenties. What I regret, I just wasn't
Speaker 1: very kind. I didn't follow my instincts. I did what
Speaker 1: I thought you should do when you break up with someone,
Speaker 1: which is be a total bitch.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: And it didn't feel right at the time, and it
Speaker 1: doesn't feel right now. And I'm really grateful that I've
Speaker 1: had the opportunity over the years to say that and
Speaker 1: make it better and take all the good because it
Speaker 1: was a seven year relationship, super important from like twenty
Speaker 1: years old to twenty seven huge time, and I was
Speaker 1: able to gather from the furnace of hatred that I
Speaker 1: left behind all the good bits.
Speaker 4: So I'm fortunate and as much as I was then
Speaker 4: going to bring it back full so fear is you
Speaker 4: were able to have that conversation. Yes, And I think
Speaker 4: that's the biggest thing, that you actually can have that conversation.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Because I was able to have that conversation with my grandmother. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I was able to say goodbye to Omar and heal
Speaker 4: anything that we had, not that we had anything, because
Speaker 4: she's my olmer. But I just I think so often,
Speaker 4: so many people don't have that conversation and then either
Speaker 4: they pass away or they're just stuck with it for
Speaker 4: the rest of their lives.
Speaker 3: I think people are afraid of talking.
Speaker 1: And I've got a rule that if someone's got an
Speaker 1: issue with me, or if I've got an issue with someone,
Speaker 1: which is very rare, I won't engage on text message.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, to try and sort out a problem. I'm
Speaker 1: the first thing I say is call me, let's have
Speaker 1: a time, because.
Speaker 3: A vicious text volley is not it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And more often than.
Speaker 3: Not, I found that no one agrees to actually speak.
Speaker 4: And especially in text message, it's really hard to convey
Speaker 4: a Dutch accent.
Speaker 3: It.
Speaker 1: Ben Lomas, thank you so much for joining me. I
Speaker 1: love you so much.
Speaker 2: That was a that was a roller coaster.
Speaker 1: As if you were not first on the list to
Speaker 1: come and play with me on the Chrissy Cast. I
Speaker 1: would have let you here yesterday, but you know you
Speaker 1: were busy living your best life on your dead almost money.
Speaker 3: Thanks Ben, Thanks