1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:04,160 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to the show I'm Washer, and a 2 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:06,240 Speaker 1: couple of days back, we had Nazem Hussain on the show. 3 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 1: We recorded that back at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. However, 4 00:00:10,119 --> 00:00:13,000 Speaker 1: there was a moment in there listening back to it 5 00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:16,119 Speaker 1: the other day where Nazine was talking about responding to 6 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:20,280 Speaker 1: hate with kindness and understanding and how that can sometimes 7 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: have a positive impact on the person's expressing that hate 8 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:28,480 Speaker 1: or anger. Or in the words of the great prophet 9 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 1: Bill Hicks, there was only two emotions fear in love, 10 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,479 Speaker 1: and I guess hate and anger are both in the 11 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:35,640 Speaker 1: fear side of things. So I was thinking about that 12 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:39,280 Speaker 1: because this week I actually came face to face with 13 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: a version of that. I probably wasn't able to respond 14 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 1: immediately with the kind of kindness that Nazine talked about, 15 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:49,479 Speaker 1: but I was grateful to be reminded of it the 16 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,839 Speaker 1: other day because it did help me think about what happened, 17 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:56,200 Speaker 1: and I'm a process it. Don't worry. Later on, I 18 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:59,080 Speaker 1: saw exactly what kindness in the face that aggression could 19 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:02,600 Speaker 1: look like. I guess now I know how that looks, 20 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,520 Speaker 1: and I know what I might want to do next 21 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 1: time that sort of thing happens, but I'll get to 22 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:10,080 Speaker 1: that bit first. Up, I do have to play some ads. 23 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:13,240 Speaker 1: This podcast is now my full time gigs. So simply 24 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:17,320 Speaker 1: you downloading this and listening to it, you are fitting 25 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 1: my family. So thank you. Let's put some food in 26 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:27,520 Speaker 1: the fridge back after the break. Good day. This is 27 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:31,560 Speaker 1: better than yesterday, making it better every episode since twenty thirteen. 28 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,679 Speaker 1: My name is Lashia Ginsburg. I'm a podcaster. I'm a 29 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 1: best selling author, TV host dad. I'm a step dad. 30 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 1: I'm currently solo dadding matting the four with Wolfgang and 31 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:46,759 Speaker 1: I'm glad you're here. Wolf And I told him today, 32 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: I've had such the best time hanging out with you. 33 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:53,040 Speaker 1: It's just him, Audrey and are away at the moment. 34 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 1: I told him the other day, I've just had the 35 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,680 Speaker 1: most extraordinary time hanging out with you, and I've thought 36 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 1: about you all day. It's old man like, why ma, 37 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: because I like hanging out with you. It's really fun. 38 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 1: It's yeah, it's it's I've never been in a relationship 39 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: like this and this extraordinary. Anyway, It's been lovely to 40 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 1: have time with him like this. But I did want 41 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 1: to talk about something that Nazim touched on quite beautifully 42 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,360 Speaker 1: the other day. On Wednesday's episode, if you haven't heard it, 43 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:30,640 Speaker 1: Zeem talked about responding to hate with kindness. Now full disclosure, 44 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 1: this is my second time trying to record this episode, 45 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 1: because when I do these podcasts, particularly when I'm just 46 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,000 Speaker 1: by myself, I do try to be as authentic as 47 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: I possibly can be. However, in doing so, I can 48 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 1: sometimes inadvertently I identify a person who's not here to 49 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 1: defend themselves. It's not very fair on them. So thankfully, Andy, 50 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:55,200 Speaker 1: my audio producer, said, maybe would have another girl with 51 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:58,520 Speaker 1: that one, So thank you Mannie. So, as they say 52 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,880 Speaker 1: in the title cards of the proceed didual cop shows 53 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 1: that Audrey lost to watch. The following is a fictionalized 54 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 1: account based on a true story. Certain names and places 55 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,639 Speaker 1: have been changed to protect those involved because we all 56 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 1: live in the same neighborhood. I live in a delightful 57 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:17,359 Speaker 1: part of the world. It's called Australia. It's amazing. We're 58 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:19,800 Speaker 1: free healthcare, there's no guns on the streets. It's incredible. 59 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:21,959 Speaker 1: On a more granular level, I live in an older 60 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 1: part of the city of Sydney in Australia, which still 61 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:28,600 Speaker 1: feels in many places like a city of villages, in 62 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:31,600 Speaker 1: that you can leave Camperdown and arrive in five Dock. 63 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:36,080 Speaker 1: There two quite distinctly different parts of the city. This 64 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: part of the city where I live is like that. 65 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,640 Speaker 1: It's not endless project homes. It has distinct parts to it, 66 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,960 Speaker 1: and each part has its own feel, its own community 67 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,720 Speaker 1: of locals who sometimes, if they don't need to tend 68 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 1: not to travel out of the area. I've been in 69 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 1: this area about ten years, so there's a few familiar 70 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 1: faces in my streets. Some of them, though, have been 71 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 1: here since well before I've got here, well before I 72 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,760 Speaker 1: got born. One of those people is an old blow 73 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 1: Kei's in his mid seventies, and he's a blood called Stan. 74 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 1: I see Stan most mornings when I park my cargo 75 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 1: bike next to the bus stop where the gym is. 76 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: Stan's usually waiting for the bus. By the time I 77 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,200 Speaker 1: get there, I think he must go up to the 78 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 1: train station or the league club or something like that. 79 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,640 Speaker 1: It's up the road. But he's how do I put this, 80 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:20,039 Speaker 1: He's definitely a man of routine. He likes things to 81 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 1: be the same every day. But stand kind of strikes 82 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 1: me as someone who I don't know in the sixties 83 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,160 Speaker 1: or seventies when he was out drinking, would settle disagreements 84 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 1: with the timeless words you me, car park now, and 85 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 1: it would be fisticuffs. He's not a fragile man. He 86 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 1: clearly looks after himself as you get older, you know, 87 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,560 Speaker 1: I believe it's quite important as he clearly does whatever 88 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,600 Speaker 1: he's doing, it's working because he looks like I think 89 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,720 Speaker 1: he boxes or something like that. But he also on 90 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 1: his forearms, he's got the faded forearm tattoo of like 91 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,960 Speaker 1: a dagger or a rose or something like that. And 92 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,360 Speaker 1: it's the kind of tattoo it's so faded and so 93 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 1: greeny and weird. It's a lot less like, oh this 94 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,920 Speaker 1: tattoo who reminds me of that time I saw tam 95 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 1: and parlor under a full moon and a belly full 96 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:08,120 Speaker 1: of MDMA. This tattoo kind of more says I once 97 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,000 Speaker 1: did ten in the pen for using a piece of 98 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,760 Speaker 1: Rebard to sort out an ongoing issue with my ex 99 00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:16,880 Speaker 1: girlfriend's X or something like that. Like men in their 100 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,159 Speaker 1: seventies who've got four arm tats, they're not to be 101 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:22,240 Speaker 1: trifled with. And anyway, I know his name is Stan 102 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 1: because when I'm locking my cargo bike up to the 103 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: parking pole near the bus stop. That's the name of 104 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 1: the barista calls out, and this guy answers to that name, 105 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,960 Speaker 1: and then grabs his takeaway coffee and walks the six 106 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:39,240 Speaker 1: or eight steps towards the bus stop. Now time is 107 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,440 Speaker 1: I usually train ride after I drop off war Fee 108 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:44,039 Speaker 1: in the morning, so I'm there at the similar time 109 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:47,080 Speaker 1: most mornings. But now the bike I ride my cargo bike. 110 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,480 Speaker 1: It is not small, it carries three people. It's fun, 111 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,719 Speaker 1: but there's no where to park it on the street 112 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,800 Speaker 1: where the gym is where I can lock it, so 113 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,840 Speaker 1: I have to put it on the footpath, and the 114 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:58,440 Speaker 1: only pole to lock it two is near the bus stop. 115 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:00,960 Speaker 1: I try to get out of the way quickly. Once 116 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 1: I get it up on the pavement, I have to 117 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:03,600 Speaker 1: kind of scoot it around, lift it up by the 118 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 1: back wheel, and move it parallel to the road so 119 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:09,000 Speaker 1: it doesn't block the pathway. However, the other morning I 120 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:13,400 Speaker 1: was reverse parking this bike and I heard from the 121 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:16,599 Speaker 1: cafe and the front wheel of the bike I've already 122 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 1: locked it to the pole on Now picking up the 123 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:20,560 Speaker 1: back of the bike and lifting it around like a 124 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:23,120 Speaker 1: in an arc, essentially to get it out of the way, 125 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 1: put it over by the gutter, and in doing so 126 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:29,800 Speaker 1: moving the bike. At that point, I have inadvertently impeded 127 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,839 Speaker 1: stands six step path from the cafe to the bus stop. 128 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:38,040 Speaker 1: To say that the torrent of screaming abuse hurled at 129 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 1: me was intense would be an understatement. Stan is calling 130 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,680 Speaker 1: me every name under the sun, and I'm trying to 131 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:48,160 Speaker 1: get the bike out of the way, which I did 132 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 1: really quickly. The whole cafe has turned and is staring 133 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,160 Speaker 1: at this. He's got to think of his voice. That 134 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:57,359 Speaker 1: sounds like he knew how to throw hands back in 135 00:06:57,360 --> 00:07:01,880 Speaker 1: the day. And I'm, you know, not immune to the 136 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 1: idea that that also might be able about to happen. 137 00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 1: So I am able to apologize and I, mate, please 138 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 1: don't yell at me like that. I'm really sorry I 139 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,560 Speaker 1: got in the way. I'll just finish a movie in 140 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 1: the bike. And he's screaming, and he's just really fucking 141 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 1: mad at me, calling me names, screaming at me, and 142 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 1: I was able to say, once again, mate, it's not 143 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: okay to scream at me like that. I moved the bike. 144 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 1: I'm sorry I got in your way. I'm heading on 145 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 1: my way. I'll leave you be, and I went across 146 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:34,440 Speaker 1: the street. Now, of course, I am not some sort 147 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,760 Speaker 1: of Tibetan monk. My heart is racing. I can feel 148 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,800 Speaker 1: the knots in my stomach, my hands are shaking, the 149 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: adrenalinees firing. I was able to speak to him calmly, 150 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,560 Speaker 1: but I was repressing a lot of these responses in 151 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: my body to do it. I got up to the 152 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,240 Speaker 1: gym and well, look, you know, Dad lived a good 153 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,480 Speaker 1: for one thing, and that's getting rid of really big 154 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: emotions like that. And I was able to a few sets. 155 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 1: I was able to go. And the thing is, my 156 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 1: gym looks down this cafe, and a couple of the 157 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 1: regular people up there. As I came in, they we're like, 158 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:09,000 Speaker 1: I saw that. Yeah, a people had seen what was 159 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:10,920 Speaker 1: gone on. I'm one. I was my workout and there's 160 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,200 Speaker 1: another trainer that works there with a couple of clients, 161 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,040 Speaker 1: and he came over for a chat once he'd finished 162 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:18,160 Speaker 1: with someone. He told me he's had a similar run 163 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 1: in with stand. But what he did about it just 164 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 1: blew my mind. And I'll tell you that in just 165 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 1: a moment, I do have to take another break back 166 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:33,440 Speaker 1: in a second. Thank you so much for listening. So 167 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 1: after what happened on the pavement getting screamed at, and 168 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 1: the whole cafe of regulars seeing stands shouting at me 169 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:45,400 Speaker 1: furious in the street, I'm up at the gym and 170 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 1: one of the people who works there is a trainer 171 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:52,200 Speaker 1: working with clients called Phil, comes over and have a chat. Now, look, 172 00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:55,800 Speaker 1: let me just describe Philflare. I've been lifting weights a 173 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:57,520 Speaker 1: while pretty much. Audrey is the one who got me 174 00:08:57,559 --> 00:08:59,600 Speaker 1: into lifting. Whites only ran before I met Audrey, but 175 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,640 Speaker 1: then she go into lifting weights, and I really enjoy it. 176 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 1: It feels about five years younger than me or so. 177 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:08,120 Speaker 1: And look, he's very well crafted. He definitely moves really well. 178 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:10,280 Speaker 1: He knows to look after himself. He's and look he's 179 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 1: got shoulders and arms that I would really like to 180 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 1: have to Look, It's true, I don't train for pr. 181 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:19,080 Speaker 1: I'm not training for any competition. I train for the 182 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:22,320 Speaker 1: hormone release and the emotional regulation. I would train for 183 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,240 Speaker 1: the bone density. But I would be lying to you 184 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,440 Speaker 1: if I said that there is not a percentage of 185 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 1: the amount of training I do that is for an 186 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:30,680 Speaker 1: aesthetic result. I certainly don't eat for an esthetic result, 187 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,640 Speaker 1: so I don't get the aesthetic result. But as I 188 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:36,680 Speaker 1: get older, I have noticed that people treat me differently 189 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,320 Speaker 1: when I have some meat on my bones, especially in 190 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 1: my chest and my shoulders. It changes the way people 191 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 1: will respond to me in a work sense. So I 192 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:50,719 Speaker 1: lift because it's a positive change. I work in a 193 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 1: visual industry, all right, this is the business I've chosen. 194 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 1: So Phil's got the kind of arms and shoulders that 195 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,200 Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, you know, guys are weird. They're like, no, no, no, 196 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:01,520 Speaker 1: I completely identify as a hetero sexual human being. Yes, 197 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,160 Speaker 1: but I'll look at another man's arms and go wow, 198 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 1: I will, all right. But I also see the way 199 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,679 Speaker 1: he works with his clients. He's a very integrated way 200 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: of working. He very clearly thinks a lot, and he's 201 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 1: a very thoughtful fellow. Clearly, I don't know him personally, 202 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 1: but he strikes me as it's a kind of version 203 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,240 Speaker 1: of masculinity that I would say is a very healthy 204 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 1: version of masculinity. So I'm already a fan. And Phil 205 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,000 Speaker 1: comes over. He says, I saw what happen. If it 206 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:32,360 Speaker 1: means anything, I had a run in with Stan just 207 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 1: the other week, and he told me all about it. 208 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:39,199 Speaker 1: He said he was reversed parking his car and at 209 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,800 Speaker 1: that point Stan had chosen to cross the street towards 210 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:45,080 Speaker 1: the bus stop. And as Phil was straightening up his car, 211 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,680 Speaker 1: putting it back into a drive and going forward, stand 212 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:50,240 Speaker 1: and chosen that exact moment to jaywalk right between the 213 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 1: front of his car and the back of the current 214 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:56,200 Speaker 1: front rides to this shrinking space between the bumper bars. 215 00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 1: Of course, Phil slams the brakes on and stand turns, 216 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:03,480 Speaker 1: slams both fist down at the bonnet. He's screaming, he's yelling, 217 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:07,520 Speaker 1: and it's fucking it's on. It sounded way worse than 218 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 1: what I'd just been through. I said, why fuck, this 219 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:14,319 Speaker 1: sounds terrible. What did you do? And Phil says he 220 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,360 Speaker 1: got his gym bag together, you know, got it out 221 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:20,599 Speaker 1: of his trunk, closed his trunk, and he walked with 222 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,800 Speaker 1: six steps over to the bus stop. Westan was angryly 223 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:27,840 Speaker 1: drinking his coffee. I thought, the fucking what happened there? Yes, 224 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 1: I asked him if he was okay. I asked him 225 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 1: what's going on? And they said, we had a bit 226 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,200 Speaker 1: of a brief chat. And I said mate, can I 227 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:42,600 Speaker 1: give you a hug? Wildly? Stand agreed, and these two 228 00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: men hugged. Afterwards, there was an apology and it was 229 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:52,040 Speaker 1: all okay. Now, Look, I don't know if I'd be 230 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:57,920 Speaker 1: able to do that tomorrow if I can't yell let again. However, 231 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:01,920 Speaker 1: to see that tonight, that kind of kindness in the 232 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:06,080 Speaker 1: face of that kind of aggression can happen, That's really something. 233 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:08,800 Speaker 1: It's something I think I would like to one day 234 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 1: be able to do. Whenever I've tried something like that, 235 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,080 Speaker 1: I always seem to communicate the kindness that I'm trying 236 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,480 Speaker 1: to show in a way that's drenched with and I'm 237 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:21,040 Speaker 1: better than you, by the way, I am far more 238 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 1: awesome because I am not being angry right now. It 239 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 1: does defeat the purpose I'm trying to figure out how 240 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,440 Speaker 1: to not do that. I would like to get to 241 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:34,319 Speaker 1: the point of empathy that I feel described Well, it 242 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,960 Speaker 1: might help it feel's got six inches and twenty kilos 243 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:40,320 Speaker 1: on the stand, but it shouldn't really matter. I know 244 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:43,680 Speaker 1: enough that responding to anger with anger damages me just 245 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:45,679 Speaker 1: as much as I may want to damage the other 246 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:50,400 Speaker 1: person in retaliation. So I know I do try to 247 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,280 Speaker 1: put some distance between myself and that reactionary feeling when 248 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:56,560 Speaker 1: that anger does arrive. But how do I get from 249 00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:01,800 Speaker 1: reactionary anger to reactionary cuddle at his next level? That 250 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:06,480 Speaker 1: is That is kindness. That is something I've written it down. 251 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:07,880 Speaker 1: I have a list of things that I would like 252 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,840 Speaker 1: to one day be able to do, and I want 253 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,560 Speaker 1: to be able to squat, deadlift and bench press my 254 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 1: body weight. I've got the sitcom I want to write, 255 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:19,360 Speaker 1: and there's a few other things on my list. I 256 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:22,760 Speaker 1: want to hug a person like Stan after something like that. 257 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:27,040 Speaker 1: There's a work that I need to do between now 258 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:30,160 Speaker 1: and then. That sounds like a kind of place I 259 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:34,080 Speaker 1: would like to be because I can be If I 260 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:37,400 Speaker 1: can walk with that sort of empathy and that little reaction, 261 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,040 Speaker 1: that would definitely change the world I live in. It 262 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:44,040 Speaker 1: really would. What do you think, what would you do 263 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:48,400 Speaker 1: if you're confronted with that sort of thing? It's yeah, 264 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:52,680 Speaker 1: it was pretty extraordinary. Thanks for listening to the show. 265 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,839 Speaker 1: You can lend me your voicemail if you want. I 266 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,640 Speaker 1: see on Monday. This episode was brought to you by 267 00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:02,360 Speaker 1: Andi my on audio post production to Hier made the music. 268 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,400 Speaker 1: My producer is Bree Steel executive function assistant. That's Monica 269 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,600 Speaker 1: Chapman for every episode ever. To get on the mailing list, 270 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 1: to get in touch, leave a voicemail, even head to 271 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,960 Speaker 1: oshiginsburg dot com. Thanks for listening.