1 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:13,240 Speaker 1: Hey there, welcome back to Mojo Monday. I'm Carly Taylor, 2 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,720 Speaker 1: and today we're diving into something that can really help 3 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:20,680 Speaker 1: us shape our lives in a good way. And that's 4 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:25,160 Speaker 1: how our character strengths or virtues and our values work 5 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 1: together to create a meaningful life. It's often in those 6 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 1: everyday moments when life throws a challenge or a curveball 7 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:36,959 Speaker 1: at us, that we get stuck. You know, maybe it's 8 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,159 Speaker 1: a tough day at work, or a disagreement with your 9 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:43,479 Speaker 1: partner or family member or friend, or maybe you're just 10 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:47,400 Speaker 1: feeling stuck for no reason. And what I've found is 11 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:52,520 Speaker 1: that getting really clear and tapping into our character strengths 12 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 1: and our values can be a guide for us even 13 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,640 Speaker 1: when you're having a life wobble. But here's the thing. 14 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:03,200 Speaker 1: While we often talk about our values and our character 15 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:06,680 Speaker 1: strengths like they're the same thing, they're actually quite different. 16 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: And so today I wanted to break that down for you. 17 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:14,480 Speaker 1: So let's start with character strengths, or what we call virtues. 18 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 1: So these are those qualities that often arise naturally when 19 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 1: we're faced with a challenge. So think about courage, or kindness, 20 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:28,959 Speaker 1: perseverance or curiosity, you don't necessarily have to force them. 21 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:32,040 Speaker 1: They're just a part of who you are, like they're 22 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,480 Speaker 1: in an invisible toolkit that you carry around with you. 23 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:40,280 Speaker 1: But it's also important to know that we can develop them. 24 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:45,759 Speaker 1: So let's take a strength like resilience. By deliberately doing 25 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 1: stuff that makes you feel uncomfortable increases your resilience. And 26 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,560 Speaker 1: so we should aim to do that as part of 27 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 1: our personal growth. And another one is gratitude. Gratitude is 28 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: something that you can develop by doing a daily gratitude ritual. Now, 29 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 1: psychologists Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson came up with something 30 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 1: called the VIA, which stands for Values in Action Classification, 31 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 1: and it identifies twenty four human character strengths that fall 32 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: under six overarching virtues. And it so happens that the 33 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 1: four of these virtues that Seligman used are the stoic 34 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 1: cardinal virtues of wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance. And we 35 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: can use the term character strengths and virtues interchangeably. That 36 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 1: values are different. So I will get to values in 37 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:42,200 Speaker 1: a minute. I'll give you another example. So kindness. Kindness 38 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:45,239 Speaker 1: is being generous and caring towards others, and it's something 39 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 1: that can show up when a friend needs support or perseverance, 40 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,920 Speaker 1: which is that grit that keeps you going when things 41 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:56,560 Speaker 1: get tough, or curiosity. The curiosity is kind of what 42 00:02:56,639 --> 00:03:00,680 Speaker 1: makes you ask questions and want to learn more. So 43 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,680 Speaker 1: I've got a personal example for you. So right now, 44 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: I try to tap into the virtue of courage. And 45 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: that means that when I'm faced with a challenge, or 46 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:18,600 Speaker 1: even when I'm experiencing negative self talk or anxiety, which 47 00:03:18,639 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 1: can you pull me back into my comfort zone and 48 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,880 Speaker 1: stop me from doing the things that are important, I 49 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:28,840 Speaker 1: try to intentionally draw on courage too, so I can 50 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 1: move forward despite how I feel. And it's important that 51 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: you understanding that courage doesn't mean confidence. So even without confidence, 52 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 1: I will try and do what's important to me by 53 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:45,360 Speaker 1: breathing into the virtue of courage. And that might mean 54 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:47,840 Speaker 1: I've got to sit with some discomfort for a while, 55 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 1: but confidence comes from practice and experience, so it's really 56 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,880 Speaker 1: its courage is an important virtue for me to build 57 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 1: my confidence. I mean, I've done things now that ten 58 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,200 Speaker 1: years years ago I would never have done because I 59 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 1: didn't consciously know back then or intentionally know to tap 60 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 1: into that virtue of courage. I just relied very heavily 61 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: on emotions to guide me in my decisions, which was 62 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:18,760 Speaker 1: not always pretty and it didn't often lead me down 63 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,279 Speaker 1: the path of growth, that all path that I wanted 64 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:26,599 Speaker 1: to be on. So having an awareness and a awareness 65 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 1: and intention around courage has really helped me stay on 66 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 1: that path. So let's move now onto values. So values 67 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:38,160 Speaker 1: are a little different. They're more like a life compass. 68 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:42,040 Speaker 1: They point you in the direction that feels meaningful for you. 69 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 1: Values are deeply held beliefs about what's important to you, 70 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,839 Speaker 1: deep in your heart, and for some it might be family, 71 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,840 Speaker 1: for others it might be achievement or health. Your values 72 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:58,880 Speaker 1: really shape your decisions and help you to prioritize what 73 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,920 Speaker 1: really matters to you, which is really important in this 74 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 1: world of distraction right now. So my top values family, 75 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:11,080 Speaker 1: and that focuses very much on my immediate family. But 76 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,279 Speaker 1: I also use that this value as a compass for 77 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:17,359 Speaker 1: me to prioritize my extended family. So making sure I 78 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,040 Speaker 1: call my dad regularly and I meet him for lunch. 79 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:22,680 Speaker 1: And you know, now I'm talking out loud about this, 80 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,000 Speaker 1: I realize I probably could call other members of my 81 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 1: family a lot more. But when we're clear on what 82 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 1: is important to us deep down in our hearts and 83 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,840 Speaker 1: what can make a difference to others, we can choose 84 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:39,119 Speaker 1: to give this part of our lives attention and action 85 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:43,719 Speaker 1: over the things that are maybe not as important. So 86 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:46,800 Speaker 1: here's a simple way to think about it. So virtues 87 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:51,120 Speaker 1: or character strengths are how you show up and values 88 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:55,039 Speaker 1: are why you do it, So they guide you towards 89 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:59,240 Speaker 1: what feels important and meaningful. For example, you might use 90 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:02,799 Speaker 1: that strength talking about of courage to speak up at work, 91 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 1: but the reason you speak up could be because you 92 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:11,160 Speaker 1: value contribution or you value progress. It's about understanding that 93 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,760 Speaker 1: these two forces and how they work, how they work 94 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 1: together to help you navigate your life. And let's talk 95 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:23,680 Speaker 1: now about how these effective are really effective for intentional living. 96 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:27,800 Speaker 1: So when you know your virtues and your values, it's 97 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: like you've got this map for personal growth and for resilience. 98 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:36,400 Speaker 1: So first of all, knowing your strengths gives you clarity 99 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:41,280 Speaker 1: around your natural tendencies. You know, maybe perseverance is one 100 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:43,480 Speaker 1: of your top strengths, and that helps you push through 101 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 1: the tough challenges. But it's also knowing what strengths you 102 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 1: would like to work on. So if you need to 103 00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:55,720 Speaker 1: work on perseverance, then you can intentionally tap into that. 104 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,360 Speaker 1: And then values, on the other hand, gives you give 105 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:03,839 Speaker 1: you this sense purpose. So for example, if you value creativity, 106 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,919 Speaker 1: you might choose a career or hobby that lets you 107 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:11,480 Speaker 1: express that, like you know, painting or writing. So when 108 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:16,760 Speaker 1: you align your decisions with your values, life feels more authentic. 109 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:20,880 Speaker 1: If you value integrity, you are more likely to make 110 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:24,760 Speaker 1: honest choices, even when that choice could be a difficult one. 111 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 1: And when you combine that with the strengths like courage 112 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 1: or leadership, pick at this powerful combination that can really 113 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 1: move you towards what matters in your life. And without 114 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 1: this compass, we're more likely to react to our circumstances 115 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 1: rather than respond intentionally. And if we allow our emotions 116 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: to take control, which are not always an accurate indication 117 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 1: of what we should do, we can end up down 118 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:55,680 Speaker 1: a path that we don't want to be on, or 119 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,880 Speaker 1: we can end up doing things that we may regret 120 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 1: later on. And I say that from direct experience that 121 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 1: our strengths and values don't just serve us individually as well, 122 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:10,760 Speaker 1: they're the glue that holds our relationships together. You know, 123 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:14,120 Speaker 1: things like strengths like kindness and empathy help us connect 124 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:19,000 Speaker 1: with others, and shared values can deepen those connections. You know, 125 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 1: if you value family, you're naturally going to prioritize and 126 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 1: nurture those relationships and create those strong bonds. And when 127 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 1: we share values with others, it can create a deeper 128 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:33,400 Speaker 1: and more authentic connection. And I'm sure you have all 129 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 1: experienced that. When you've met somebody for the first time 130 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:39,080 Speaker 1: and you start talking to them and you kind of 131 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 1: get that sense that you share the same values, you 132 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 1: can connect with people a lot deeper and a lot quicker. 133 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:49,360 Speaker 1: But I also find that when others don't share my values, 134 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 1: rather than getting swept up in judgments, I can draw 135 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 1: on my value of curiosity in order to have an 136 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:00,840 Speaker 1: understanding of others but not necessary barely means I've got 137 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:04,280 Speaker 1: to agree with them, but I can understand them more 138 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:09,760 Speaker 1: and understand their perspective of things. And finally, character strengths 139 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 1: can build resilience, and traits like perseverance and humor can 140 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:18,520 Speaker 1: help you navigate life's inevitable bumps. And when you're guided 141 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:22,640 Speaker 1: by your values, maybe a value like personal growth you 142 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:26,960 Speaker 1: can see adversity as an opportunity for learning even when 143 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:32,280 Speaker 1: it's hard, and that perspective can change everything. So to 144 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:36,080 Speaker 1: wrap it all up, virtues or character strengths and values 145 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,520 Speaker 1: are like they're like a dynamic duo for living a 146 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:43,880 Speaker 1: full and meaningful life. And character strengths are the tools 147 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 1: that you can use every day to face challenges and 148 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:51,240 Speaker 1: values are the compass that points you towards what really matters. 149 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:54,920 Speaker 1: And this is all part of intentional living. So if 150 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:57,800 Speaker 1: it's something you think that will help you do that, 151 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:01,880 Speaker 1: spend some time thinking about what's strength and values that 152 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:05,080 Speaker 1: you have or you would like to have, and once 153 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:08,120 Speaker 1: you know those, you'll have this powerful guide for making 154 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:12,600 Speaker 1: your decisions and building relationships and finding resilience when life 155 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:16,439 Speaker 1: throws you those curveballs. And if you're not sure what 156 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:19,960 Speaker 1: strengths you have or you're curious, then you could do 157 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:24,360 Speaker 1: the free via Character Strength Survey, which I can put 158 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 1: the link in the show notes for you. As I said, 159 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 1: it's free. We don't have any affiliation with them, but 160 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,320 Speaker 1: we've used this link a lot. I use them with 161 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 1: my clients and it can be really helpful to either 162 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,959 Speaker 1: validate what you already know, or maybe it will highlight 163 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: some strengths that you didn't even know you had. So 164 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,199 Speaker 1: thank you for joining me on this episode of Majo Monday. 165 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 1: I hope it's sparked a bit of insight for you. 166 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,640 Speaker 1: I hope you'll all have a good week and I 167 00:10:52,720 --> 00:11:01,080 Speaker 1: will catch you next week