WEBVTT - Lower Your Fu*king Expectations 0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:02.719 High Scrollers is produced on Gadigal land. 0:00:02.940 --> 0:00:05.279 We pay our respects to the traditional custodians of this 0:00:05.320 --> 0:00:07.000 country and elders past and present. 0:00:07.400 --> 0:00:14.280 Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. Well, well, well, 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:19.280 we are talking all things mind your fucking business. 0:00:19.540 --> 0:00:20.380 Oh, right on. 0:00:20.610 --> 0:00:23.340 No, we're talking mindfulness because if you listen to this 0:00:23.390 --> 0:00:26.770 week's main episode, we kind of got into it a 0:00:26.850 --> 0:00:31.810 little bit about mind over matter. you know, and we 0:00:31.830 --> 0:00:34.340 thought we could do a little mindfulness episode. There really 0:00:34.380 --> 0:00:35.840 never is a dull moment on this pod. 0:00:36.720 --> 0:00:39.659 No. And so what advice, what mindfulness do you have? 0:00:40.300 --> 0:00:43.460 Well, earlier in the week, we spoke about, you know, 0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:45.300 like you said, when you go to an event, it's 0:00:45.340 --> 0:00:47.630 what you make it. And it's very easy for us 0:00:47.690 --> 0:00:50.190 to complain about things or be like, these lines are 0:00:50.210 --> 0:00:55.050 too long, but I'm very much of the same sentiment 0:00:55.090 --> 0:00:58.600 as you when, you know, it is what you make it. 0:00:58.630 --> 0:01:01.090 Life is what you make it. One thing that I 0:01:01.190 --> 0:01:06.770 always like to think of, well, two things actually. I 0:01:06.790 --> 0:01:11.860 heard somewhere one time, and again, it just depends, but 0:01:12.020 --> 0:01:15.260 I saw someone say years ago on social media somewhere, 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:17.900 you wake up and choose your mood every day. Now, 0:01:18.060 --> 0:01:21.979 I know that life will completely depend on that. And 0:01:22.020 --> 0:01:24.750 sometimes we have things go on in life that obviously 0:01:24.790 --> 0:01:28.160 are completely out of our control. You know, terrible things happen. 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:29.960 And of course, that's going to completely change your mood. 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:33.020 But I just think for the most part, on a 0:01:33.160 --> 0:01:37.220 regular day, you truly do wake up and choose your 0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:42.330 mood every day. And If there's one thing that I 0:01:42.550 --> 0:01:44.570 like to do and think is number one, I think 0:01:44.630 --> 0:01:47.610 that every morning. But one thing that I really try 0:01:47.630 --> 0:01:50.440 to practice and I think I do a really good 0:01:50.620 --> 0:01:55.180 job of is I never complain about anything, even if 0:01:55.340 --> 0:01:58.350 it's something as little as having a bad night's sleep. 0:01:59.170 --> 0:02:01.130 I think that's like a good example to begin with. 0:02:01.190 --> 0:02:03.780 You know, when you have a bad sleep, it's immediately 0:02:03.810 --> 0:02:06.000 like in us. And I don't know if this is 0:02:06.060 --> 0:02:09.079 true for everyone, but it's immediate for us to wake 0:02:09.120 --> 0:02:11.100 up in the morning and go, I had the worst 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:13.400 sleep last night. I was up at this time. I 0:02:13.500 --> 0:02:15.340 was up at that time, this, that, and the other. 0:02:15.780 --> 0:02:18.269 And I just think, Yes, of course, when we have 0:02:18.290 --> 0:02:20.130 a bad sleep, we're going to acknowledge that. But I 0:02:20.190 --> 0:02:24.230 think if you start your day on that note, in 0:02:24.270 --> 0:02:27.310 that mindset of I've had a bad sleep, you are 0:02:27.470 --> 0:02:30.770 setting yourself up in your mind to have a shitty 0:02:30.830 --> 0:02:34.220 fucking day. Whereas even when I have a shocking sleep, 0:02:34.250 --> 0:02:36.160 which happens all the bloody time, I always have a 0:02:36.180 --> 0:02:40.200 bad sleep, I wake up and I choose to not 0:02:40.320 --> 0:02:43.740 let that be the start of my day. So I 0:02:43.780 --> 0:02:44.780 might be like, oh, that was a bit of a 0:02:44.800 --> 0:02:46.359 shocking sleep. But anyway, I'm still going to have a 0:02:46.380 --> 0:02:51.290 good day. And I know that sounds like the most simple, 0:02:51.460 --> 0:02:54.900 stupid little thing, but I truly think like being conscious 0:02:55.020 --> 0:02:57.440 of the way that you think in your mind can 0:02:58.200 --> 0:03:00.919 severely impact how you feel in a day. You can 0:03:01.040 --> 0:03:03.700 ultimately choose your mood for the day. And people might 0:03:03.720 --> 0:03:04.720 think that's a bit wanky. 0:03:05.660 --> 0:03:08.590 I think any of this stuff is wanky. Me too. 0:03:08.650 --> 0:03:11.430 You know, but it is something that is a good 0:03:11.490 --> 0:03:14.169 reminder and like something that we should talk about, but 0:03:14.210 --> 0:03:16.070 we don't because it does come across. 0:03:17.210 --> 0:03:19.230 I would never want to be like, just manifest and, 0:03:19.290 --> 0:03:21.450 you know, like anything like that. But I truly think 0:03:21.510 --> 0:03:25.169 that your mentality is your reality. And yes, I know 0:03:25.190 --> 0:03:27.390 people could say, but this devastating thing happened in that. 0:03:27.450 --> 0:03:29.410 Of course, that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm 0:03:29.430 --> 0:03:32.370 just talking about on your general day today, you know, 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:34.220 if you're waking up and going, fuck, I don't want 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:35.860 to go to work today. I had the worst sleep 0:03:35.920 --> 0:03:38.900 ever last night. You are truly setting up yourself to 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:42.040 have a shit day and be in that negative mindset. 0:03:42.380 --> 0:03:45.160 I always try to have a positive mindset. I try 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:48.470 not to complain about anything ever, even if something terrible 0:03:48.500 --> 0:03:50.930 happens at work or I'm dealing with something so stressful. 0:03:51.290 --> 0:03:54.170 I try not to let that be the main thought 0:03:54.210 --> 0:03:57.270 and always try and think of things in a positive 0:03:57.330 --> 0:04:00.630 mindset and be neutral to everything. And then the second 0:04:00.650 --> 0:04:03.130 thing that I wanted to say on this was we 0:04:03.310 --> 0:04:07.820 so easily overthink the worst. Like we always jump to conclusions. 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:10.580 We overthink the worst possible scenario. But what if this happens? 0:04:10.600 --> 0:04:13.400 What if they say that? Why don't you also overthink 0:04:13.420 --> 0:04:13.780 the best? 0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:17.250 Hmm. Interesting. 0:04:17.350 --> 0:04:18.510 You know, oh, I don't want to do that. Like, 0:04:18.550 --> 0:04:20.370 what if I, what if it's embarrassing? What if I 0:04:20.430 --> 0:04:23.830 stuff up? Like, I don't know. Why do you always 0:04:24.029 --> 0:04:28.150 overthink the worst, right? And it's a possible scenario, right? 0:04:28.170 --> 0:04:30.620 We're always coming up with like the worst possible scenario 0:04:30.650 --> 0:04:33.660 in our head. Why don't you also do that exactly 0:04:33.720 --> 0:04:34.740 for the best outcome? 0:04:36.700 --> 0:04:37.940 Well, this is awkward. 0:04:39.120 --> 0:04:39.540 Why? 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:43.049 Because my advice is totally, Total opposite to that. 0:04:43.150 --> 0:04:47.690 Like we overthink the worst every time. Like, no, I 0:04:47.730 --> 0:04:50.589 don't want to post that video. Like let's say someone's 0:04:50.670 --> 0:04:53.150 been thinking about posting a TikTok and they've never done 0:04:53.190 --> 0:04:55.630 content and they will think of all the worst. Like, no, 0:04:55.690 --> 0:04:57.820 people will judge me. People I know, people I went 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:00.040 to school with, they'll see it. Okay, that's fine for 0:05:00.060 --> 0:05:03.500 you to overthink the worst possible outcome because you're being practical. 0:05:03.820 --> 0:05:06.340 But also I want you to then overthink the best. 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:06.680 Yeah. 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:09.020 What's the best thing that could happen in that scenario? 0:05:09.100 --> 0:05:12.120 Why are you only overthinking the worst possible scenario? 0:05:12.300 --> 0:05:14.599 Why do you think our brains work that way? 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:18.670 Because we all have a fear of being judged by others. It's, 0:05:18.910 --> 0:05:20.810 I think, the number one thing that holds people back 0:05:20.850 --> 0:05:25.210 in life. Obviously, other than money, but like people, the 0:05:25.290 --> 0:05:27.750 number one thing that stops people from doing anything is 0:05:27.790 --> 0:05:31.099 a fear of judgment from others. And I literally don't 0:05:31.160 --> 0:05:33.820 have that fear at all. And I think the reason 0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:37.050 why I don't have that fear is because I just 0:05:37.089 --> 0:05:40.150 did it anyway. Like you can't wake up and have 0:05:40.190 --> 0:05:43.180 your fear of judgment be gone. That's not how it works. 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:46.380 You just have to do one little thing every day 0:05:46.400 --> 0:05:49.820 to change your life. And over time, you know, it 0:05:50.040 --> 0:05:52.630 will be a domino effect. People go like, how are 0:05:52.650 --> 0:05:55.409 you so confident? It's not like I woke up like 0:05:55.450 --> 0:05:58.290 that one day. I wasn't born that way. It's like 0:05:58.470 --> 0:06:01.460 I just slowly started doing things that made me a 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:04.779 little bit scared. I started making YouTube videos. I put 0:06:04.820 --> 0:06:06.940 myself out there. I said yes to a new opportunity 0:06:06.980 --> 0:06:10.169 that scared the crap out of me. It's doing little 0:06:10.200 --> 0:06:13.450 things like that and putting yourself out of your comfort zone, 0:06:13.550 --> 0:06:16.969 even in the littlest of ways, in the littlest tiny things. 0:06:17.350 --> 0:06:19.919 It could be speaking up in the morning meeting at 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:22.380 work when you would normally stay quiet and not say 0:06:22.420 --> 0:06:23.840 anything because you don't want to say the wrong thing. 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:28.560 It could be complimenting a stranger. Like it could just 0:06:28.580 --> 0:06:31.750 be the littlest of things. When you start doing that, 0:06:31.930 --> 0:06:35.550 you build confidence. But if you constantly stay in the 0:06:35.589 --> 0:06:37.530 mindset of like, oh no, I'm not going to do that. 0:06:38.110 --> 0:06:40.310 You're never going to get out of it. Thank you 0:06:40.350 --> 0:06:41.150 for coming to my TED talk. 0:06:41.230 --> 0:06:42.210 There you go. 0:06:42.450 --> 0:06:46.740 Like that's, I just, mindset is fucking everything. And I 0:06:47.080 --> 0:06:49.080 want to talk about it more, but I never do 0:06:49.120 --> 0:06:51.619 because like you said, I never want to come across 0:06:51.660 --> 0:06:56.290 as like some woo-woo in the wrong way. Like you 0:06:56.320 --> 0:06:59.830 can manifest $ 100, 000 because I did. Like it's not like that. 0:07:00.130 --> 0:07:04.330 But I just truly think like our mind controls everything 0:07:04.450 --> 0:07:06.910 that we obviously think and do and the way that 0:07:06.930 --> 0:07:08.029 we carry ourselves. 0:07:08.210 --> 0:07:08.590 For sure. 0:07:09.040 --> 0:07:11.640 The way that you think, if you are someone, and 0:07:11.780 --> 0:07:13.940 I know people, I'm sure you do too, Matt. Like, 0:07:14.060 --> 0:07:16.820 I know people that are always negative and bad shit 0:07:16.840 --> 0:07:17.640 always happens to them. 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:18.040 Yeah. 0:07:18.180 --> 0:07:23.040 And it's because they're seeing everything in a negative way. Yeah. Like, 0:07:23.760 --> 0:07:26.310 and letting things bother you. And then, you know, I 0:07:26.330 --> 0:07:28.790 had the worst sleep ever last night. If you just 0:07:28.850 --> 0:07:31.270 keep telling yourself that, the rest of your day is 0:07:31.290 --> 0:07:32.190 going to be fucking shit. 0:07:32.370 --> 0:07:32.610 Yeah. 0:07:32.790 --> 0:07:36.060 Because you have kicked off your day with that mindset. Again, 0:07:36.100 --> 0:07:37.660 I know things can happen. You could have a worse 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:39.840 sleep ever because something terrible might have happened overnight with 0:07:39.860 --> 0:07:43.320 your family. That's different. I'm just talking day to day. 0:07:43.670 --> 0:07:44.930 You choose your mood. 0:07:45.230 --> 0:07:45.510 Yeah. 0:07:46.330 --> 0:07:49.110 You truly do. And I might sound like a fucking 0:07:49.190 --> 0:07:51.510 woo-woo weirdo. For saying that. 0:07:51.530 --> 0:07:54.170 Well, you know what though? The point is, if you 0:07:54.250 --> 0:07:57.290 hear that kind of advice and are negative towards it. 0:07:57.390 --> 0:07:59.630 And go, oh no, there's no way. Of course, you're 0:07:59.650 --> 0:08:00.670 never going to get there. 0:08:00.690 --> 0:08:03.250 That is probably the point of the whole fucking story. 0:08:03.350 --> 0:08:05.630 Maybe if you flip that and went, wow, that's what 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:07.400 I needed to hear. And maybe I'm going to try that. 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:10.520 That is probably the attitude that is going to improve 0:08:10.540 --> 0:08:10.880 your day. 0:08:10.920 --> 0:08:13.440 Honestly, every day that I'm going to work, like I 0:08:13.460 --> 0:08:15.380 work Monday to Friday. I go into work five days 0:08:15.400 --> 0:08:17.610 a week. I sit in my car in the morning 0:08:17.730 --> 0:08:19.710 and I just take a second to myself and I 0:08:19.730 --> 0:08:21.910 just go, I'm going to make today fucking amazing. And 0:08:21.930 --> 0:08:24.190 I know that sounds like so stupid and simple, but 0:08:24.250 --> 0:08:27.320 it will truly change your life. Put on a good song, 0:08:27.660 --> 0:08:29.460 have a little dance on the way to fucking work. 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:35.480 Yeah, music is definitely a big thing that I would 0:08:35.580 --> 0:08:38.970 suggest making a playlist of your favorite songs. that you 0:08:39.010 --> 0:08:41.750 can just blast in the car or blast in your headphones. 0:08:41.790 --> 0:08:43.040 Listen to it on the way to work. Have a 0:08:43.059 --> 0:08:43.900 bit of a dance and a sing. 0:08:43.920 --> 0:08:45.439 I used to do that. I don't do that anymore, 0:08:45.460 --> 0:08:47.600 but I used to do that. I'd start every single 0:08:47.620 --> 0:08:49.540 day with Crazy in Love by Beyonce. 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:50.140 Seriously? 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:51.520 Every single day. 0:08:51.540 --> 0:08:54.330 It's the littlest thing, but it makes the biggest difference. 0:08:54.620 --> 0:08:57.950 And I truly believe in, yeah, what you think is 0:08:57.990 --> 0:08:58.650 what you feel. Yeah. 0:08:59.130 --> 0:08:59.350 Yeah. 0:09:07.190 --> 0:09:08.729 People will be like, how do you never seem so 0:09:08.790 --> 0:09:11.309 stressed or, you know, like in my job and all 0:09:11.330 --> 0:09:13.070 the things that we do. And it's because the way 0:09:13.110 --> 0:09:13.829 I look at things. 0:09:13.970 --> 0:09:14.290 Yeah. 0:09:14.870 --> 0:09:16.670 Even if the most challenging thing in the world happens, 0:09:16.710 --> 0:09:17.870 I'm not going to be like, oh my God, no, 0:09:17.890 --> 0:09:19.410 this is the worst thing that's ever going to happen. 0:09:19.429 --> 0:09:21.670 What are we going to do? Instead, I will approach 0:09:21.790 --> 0:09:25.819 it with, okay, this is quite fucked, but let's, you know, 0:09:25.890 --> 0:09:27.640 take a step back and here's how we're going to 0:09:27.660 --> 0:09:30.100 handle it. I try to be like neutral and positive 0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:32.880 to everything, even when it's a challenge because you can 0:09:32.920 --> 0:09:33.960 fucking overcome anything. 0:09:34.420 --> 0:09:35.420 Nonchalant vibes. 0:09:36.320 --> 0:09:36.580 Yeah. 0:09:36.660 --> 0:09:42.060 I'm often called nonchalant. And I am. I've been called 0:09:42.100 --> 0:09:43.610 nonchalant so many times in my life. 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:45.250 What does nonchalant even mean? 0:09:45.260 --> 0:09:49.449 Like, just like, blasé, like, whatever. Like, if something bad happens, 0:09:49.490 --> 0:09:52.430 you just go, whatever, move on. Like, it's not like 0:09:53.370 --> 0:09:56.250 you get a rise. Depending on what it is. 0:09:56.250 --> 0:09:58.150 Is it got to do with dating? They say nonchalant 0:09:58.210 --> 0:09:59.290 and then they're like, be chalant. 0:09:59.370 --> 0:10:02.980 I wouldn't call that nonchalant personally maybe chalant you wouldn't 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:10.080 call me no one asked I'll get you the actual 0:10:10.120 --> 0:10:11.820 definition of nonchalant. 0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:13.540 And also I feel like that word has only just 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:16.390 really come about in like the last six months nah 0:10:16.670 --> 0:10:19.800 but like I haven't heard it until recently oh okay No, I've. 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:22.130 Been called nonchalant for years. I think I get it 0:10:22.150 --> 0:10:23.770 from my dad. My dad's pretty nonchalant. Do you want 0:10:23.809 --> 0:10:25.290 the definition? Yeah, mine's not working. 0:10:25.330 --> 0:10:29.189 Go, go, go, go. Nonchalant means acting calm, relaxed, and unconcerned, 0:10:29.370 --> 0:10:32.729 often showing a lack of worry, enthusiasm, or active interest. 0:10:33.550 --> 0:10:35.840 Yeah, for most part of me. 0:10:35.860 --> 0:10:35.940 Yeah. 0:10:36.860 --> 0:10:39.540 Of course, once I get passionate, absolutely, I'm chalant. 0:10:40.080 --> 0:10:40.400 Yeah. 0:10:40.460 --> 0:10:43.760 If they're, you know, but I don't know. Like, it's 0:10:44.260 --> 0:10:47.290 been said to me by people close to me when– 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:51.459 specifically drama happens in the friend group. And of course 0:10:51.500 --> 0:10:54.940 that doesn't really happen these days, but 10 years ago, like, 0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:56.860 you know, if there were little dramas and stuff that 0:10:56.920 --> 0:10:58.640 I'd just be like, let's all just get over and 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:01.920 move on. I don't have time to worry about. He said, 0:11:02.360 --> 0:11:05.120 he said, she said, you know, I'm nonchalant in that way. 0:11:05.500 --> 0:11:07.460 And of course I'm on a podcast. Like obviously I'm 0:11:07.480 --> 0:11:09.500 going to be more theatrical and bring the vibes. If 0:11:09.540 --> 0:11:12.100 I'm pissed off about something you're going to get, you know, 0:11:12.220 --> 0:11:17.069 we need a social clip darling. So, um, yeah, but 0:11:17.140 --> 0:11:19.900 I mean, Stoicism, baby. Stoicism. 0:11:19.940 --> 0:11:22.679 Exactly right. I would love to know, scrollers, if you're 0:11:22.700 --> 0:11:25.689 listening to this episode, as everyone knows, I love reading 0:11:25.710 --> 0:11:29.510 the comments on Spotify. Leave us a comment because this 0:11:29.570 --> 0:11:34.050 is something that I feel very passionately about. Obviously, mindset. 0:11:34.880 --> 0:11:37.080 For me to have gotten where I am in my 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:40.140 career in business, I've had to have a pretty good 0:11:40.179 --> 0:11:43.040 fucking mindset to get through all the challenges. Is there 0:11:43.059 --> 0:11:45.300 something that you would like to hear me talking about 0:11:45.340 --> 0:11:50.130 more often or is it just complete wankery? Yeah. That's 0:11:50.150 --> 0:11:52.910 what I want to know. Because I talk about being 0:11:52.990 --> 0:11:55.790 positive and having a positive outlook every now and then 0:11:55.809 --> 0:11:57.650 on my story, but I've never really gotten into it, 0:11:57.809 --> 0:11:59.770 I guess, in reels or anything because I just never 0:11:59.809 --> 0:12:02.530 want to come across as one of those mindset coaches 0:12:02.610 --> 0:12:04.590 that you just listen to their videos and you're like, 0:12:04.670 --> 0:12:05.770 what the fucking heck? 0:12:05.910 --> 0:12:06.209 Yeah. 0:12:06.230 --> 0:12:09.970 Because I'm all about mindset, but in a practical, realistic way. 0:12:10.510 --> 0:12:14.110 Not just think positive and $ 100, 000 will come your way. Yeah. 0:12:14.530 --> 0:12:16.130 But I think the way that you think is the 0:12:16.190 --> 0:12:18.530 way that you are and the way that you speak 0:12:18.570 --> 0:12:21.739 to yourself. Again, like- going back to beauty and stuff, 0:12:21.980 --> 0:12:24.800 but the way that we speak about ourselves, if we're 0:12:24.840 --> 0:12:28.120 constantly putting ourselves down, you know, looking in the mirror 0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:30.620 and thinking horrible things, you don't have to say horrible things. 0:12:30.660 --> 0:12:33.819 If you're thinking horrible things about yourself, like that's not 0:12:33.860 --> 0:12:35.960 going to put you in a good position. And I 0:12:36.140 --> 0:12:40.040 feel like thinking negatively is a really easy habit to 0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:43.030 get into. Like if you're always putting yourself down And 0:12:43.050 --> 0:12:45.980 you keep doing it like you're just going to keep 0:12:46.059 --> 0:12:47.780 doing that. It's not going to get you anywhere. But 0:12:48.020 --> 0:12:50.960 I understand why people are so harsh on themselves because 0:12:50.980 --> 0:12:53.420 look at the world that we're living in and all 0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:57.040 the ways that we compare ourselves to one another. Again, 0:12:57.240 --> 0:13:00.440 we are seeing way too much than we should in 0:13:00.500 --> 0:13:03.500 terms of being able to compare ourselves to others. But 0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:09.380 I just think your mentality is your reality a million percent. Yeah. 0:13:09.820 --> 0:13:11.460 I've been through a lot of stressful times in my 0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:14.300 business and guess what? this is probably not something to 0:13:14.340 --> 0:13:17.400 brag about, but nothing is yet to crack me. Yeah. 0:13:17.800 --> 0:13:20.319 I have not had one meltdown in nine years of fate. 0:13:21.360 --> 0:13:22.280 Can I ask you both a question? 0:13:22.540 --> 0:13:22.819 Pardon? 0:13:22.900 --> 0:13:23.840 Can I ask you both a question? 0:13:23.980 --> 0:13:24.240 Yeah. 0:13:24.590 --> 0:13:26.950 Was there a time in either one of your lives 0:13:27.429 --> 0:13:31.130 that really like shifted your mindset where you went, I 0:13:31.170 --> 0:13:34.670 actually need to change like the way I'm operating because 0:13:34.950 --> 0:13:37.850 right now, you know, I'm not happy with how things 0:13:37.910 --> 0:13:39.430 are going. Was there like a moment in your life 0:13:39.500 --> 0:13:41.280 that you guys can remember that happening? 0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:45.329 Um, Do you want to answer first? 0:13:45.420 --> 0:13:47.689 Yes, but not so much in my mindset, more to 0:13:47.730 --> 0:13:49.429 do with like my body image, if you want to 0:13:49.470 --> 0:13:50.329 go down that route. 0:13:50.370 --> 0:13:51.590 Yeah, sure. 0:13:51.730 --> 0:13:56.600 Well, basically my whole life I was just obsessed with 0:13:56.980 --> 0:13:59.340 my body and was. 0:14:00.300 --> 0:14:03.740 Which is extremely like everyone will be able to relate 0:14:03.780 --> 0:14:05.280 to that in one way or another. 0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:09.500 Yeah. Obviously always been fat my whole life. So the 0:14:09.540 --> 0:14:10.740 first 25 years of my life I. 0:14:13.820 --> 0:14:17.240 Was obsessed with being smaller, doing every diet under the sun. 0:14:17.260 --> 0:14:19.239 I was on Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers when I 0:14:19.260 --> 0:14:20.880 was like eight years old, as we spoke about in 0:14:20.900 --> 0:14:25.060 the Abbey Chatfield podcast. I went to a fat camp. 0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:29.080 I went to this other thing called Fat Club. I 0:14:29.120 --> 0:14:33.470 did competitions. Who could lose the most weight? You win 0:14:33.510 --> 0:14:35.910 a cash prize if you lose the most weight. I 0:14:35.930 --> 0:14:40.050 did every diet under the sun, I did everything right. 0:14:40.170 --> 0:14:42.670 And so I always wanted to be like this certain 0:14:42.730 --> 0:14:45.610 kind of size and this certain kind of weight. And 0:14:45.630 --> 0:14:48.530 then in 2019, that's when I did the keto diet 0:14:49.090 --> 0:14:51.500 and I lost all the weight. And then I got 0:14:51.530 --> 0:14:53.820 there and I went, wow, I'm now like the size 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:55.160 that I want to be. And I'm the weight that 0:14:55.200 --> 0:14:56.540 I want to be and the weight that I've wanted 0:14:56.560 --> 0:14:58.600 to be my whole life. Um, and I still fucking 0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:01.680 hate myself and I don't want to like, like what 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:03.040 else is it going to take for me to be happy? 0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:05.480 Like it's 25 years of my life. I'm yet to 0:15:05.500 --> 0:15:07.900 be like happy because like All I do is care 0:15:07.940 --> 0:15:09.660 about this. And I finally got to where I wanted 0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:11.960 to be. And I was like, this still isn't good enough. 0:15:12.120 --> 0:15:15.220 And then that's when I went, fuck this shit. I'm 0:15:15.460 --> 0:15:21.190 over having this take up space in my brain. Let's 0:15:21.210 --> 0:15:23.030 just remember, and you can apply this to anything in 0:15:23.070 --> 0:15:26.610 your life. The size of your brain, treat it like 0:15:27.790 --> 0:15:33.130 a street of houses. And think of it as real estate. And, 0:15:33.730 --> 0:15:36.790 you know, you have one house... which is your brain 0:15:36.810 --> 0:15:39.860 capacity to focus on your family. Another house to focus 0:15:39.890 --> 0:15:42.500 on your relationship if you have one. Another house to 0:15:42.900 --> 0:15:45.220 focus on your friendships. Another house to focus on work. 0:15:45.820 --> 0:15:48.400 Then you've got a house that thinks about your body. 0:15:48.460 --> 0:15:50.880 Then you've got a house that thinks about your passions. 0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:53.750 Then you have a house that might think about your business, right? So, 0:15:54.130 --> 0:15:56.850 you've got all these houses on your street. Well, you know, 0:15:57.470 --> 0:16:01.160 when you... think about your body so often. What I 0:16:01.200 --> 0:16:03.860 was finding is that the house that was containing my body, well, 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:05.680 then they wanted a second story. Then they wanted a 0:16:05.700 --> 0:16:08.170 third story. Then they went, well, we don't have enough room. 0:16:08.210 --> 0:16:10.730 So let's take over the relationship aspect. And I had 0:16:10.790 --> 0:16:13.210 no time for a relationship because the body had bought 0:16:13.250 --> 0:16:16.130 that house as well. And then it gets to a 0:16:16.170 --> 0:16:18.150 point where you think about it more and more and more. 0:16:18.210 --> 0:16:20.720 And then that house goes, this isn't enough space for 0:16:20.750 --> 0:16:23.920 us either. Let's take over this other one across the road, 0:16:24.000 --> 0:16:27.520 the business or the workplace. And let's renovate that one 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:29.010 as well. And all of a sudden, then you've got 0:16:29.090 --> 0:16:31.750 no time in your life because your brain real estate 0:16:31.810 --> 0:16:34.990 is so taken up by the focus on your body 0:16:35.930 --> 0:16:37.810 that you don't have time to put your time and 0:16:37.870 --> 0:16:40.540 energy into other things. And I got to a point 0:16:40.800 --> 0:16:42.900 I have spoken about before how I always thought that 0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:46.240 I would not live to see 26. I don't know why, 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:48.120 but always just in my core, I was like something 0:16:48.140 --> 0:16:51.250 will kill me before I turn 26. Um, it was 0:16:51.270 --> 0:16:53.250 just something that I'd felt since like a little boy. 0:16:53.650 --> 0:16:57.270 And I genuinely, the last like three months until I 0:16:57.290 --> 0:16:59.850 was 26, I was like, I'm going to die any 0:16:59.890 --> 0:17:01.450 day now. Like I'm going to get hit by a car. 0:17:01.470 --> 0:17:03.530 Something's going to kill me. I don't know what, I 0:17:04.470 --> 0:17:07.270 didn't know what it was going to be. But anyway, then, um, 0:17:07.690 --> 0:17:10.830 this kind of thing happened with the keto and I 0:17:10.869 --> 0:17:12.609 lost all the weight and then still hated myself and 0:17:12.630 --> 0:17:14.629 still hated everything. And I kind of just threw my 0:17:14.650 --> 0:17:17.030 hands up and I went, what is the fucking point? 0:17:17.050 --> 0:17:20.119 Like I've spent my whole life worrying about this. And 0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:22.740 here I am where I wanted to be my whole 0:17:22.790 --> 0:17:25.350 life and it's still not good enough. And then I went, 0:17:26.170 --> 0:17:28.690 fuck it. I can't be bothered. And so I knocked 0:17:28.730 --> 0:17:31.350 down that house, sold the other houses and was then 0:17:31.450 --> 0:17:35.890 able to replace the house that worried about my body 0:17:36.380 --> 0:17:41.580 with making money, making better relationships. Since then, like that 0:17:41.780 --> 0:17:46.899 year was 2019. I went through that transformation. I turned 26. 0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:51.060 So Still alive, unfortunately, but here we are. But I 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:53.940 think that the 26 or me learning or me always 0:17:54.020 --> 0:17:55.840 envisioning that I was going to die by 26 was 0:17:55.900 --> 0:17:58.840 almost like a death to my former self. That year 0:17:58.900 --> 0:18:01.320 I also met Sky and that is the first and 0:18:01.420 --> 0:18:03.740 only relationship that has ever been healthy in my life 0:18:04.160 --> 0:18:06.790 when it comes to a romantic partner. And look at 0:18:06.830 --> 0:18:10.869 us now getting married. I moved to Sydney and started 0:18:10.930 --> 0:18:14.109 my new life, went full time with social media, was 0:18:14.250 --> 0:18:16.050 able to make more money. Of course, the next year 0:18:16.070 --> 0:18:18.560 the pandemic hit. And I was in a totally different 0:18:18.600 --> 0:18:21.160 mindset of imagine if I was still in that mindset, like, 0:18:21.520 --> 0:18:22.800 oh my God, I can't leave the house. I can't 0:18:22.820 --> 0:18:23.980 go to the gym. I can't like, I would have 0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:26.140 struggled even more than I did. We all struggled during 0:18:26.160 --> 0:18:29.219 that time, but I would have struggled a lot more 0:18:29.400 --> 0:18:31.480 if my body and the food that I was eating 0:18:31.500 --> 0:18:34.350