WEBVTT - I don't have the answer so I'll just make something up!

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<v Speaker 1>Apod Shape Production.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome back to another episode of Am I A Bad

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<v Speaker 2>Mum Podcast. I'm actually getting quite excited to head towards

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<v Speaker 2>the end of the year.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I feel like I need a bit of a break. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know that.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, kids, you don't really get a break, Like

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<v Speaker 2>sometimes it's even harder when they're not at school.

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<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>I think the break is more the break in routine. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>the break in having to rush to school, having to

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<v Speaker 3>fill the lunchboxes, having to like remind them that they've

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<v Speaker 3>got swimming lessons. Yeah, like I'm not doing the swimming.

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<v Speaker 3>That has to come a point where you remember to

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<v Speaker 3>take your swimming stuff. Why doesn't your brain say, oh,

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<v Speaker 3>it's Wednesday. I have swimming this all.

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<v Speaker 2>The time, And even with teenagers, wage it doesn't change.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like, why do I have to be your pa

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<v Speaker 2>and my own?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I don't get it. I'm trying to like encourage

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<v Speaker 3>Gracie to, like, especially for this last term, to try

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<v Speaker 3>and take everything on herself. You know, like you're going

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<v Speaker 3>into high school next year. You have to somewhat find

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<v Speaker 3>maybe like a diary or like a Monday to Friday.

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<v Speaker 3>What have I got on this week because I'm sure

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<v Speaker 3>that the same emails are not as entailed of their movements.

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<v Speaker 3>Do I still get emails in a high school that

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<v Speaker 3>tell me when their assessment is due and stuff like that.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, not their assessments. I'm worried about that.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm you're worried about that stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, But what you'll find is that they'll drum it

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<v Speaker 2>into them pretty soon. You know, you need to be organized,

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<v Speaker 2>and they might give them a planner or something like that,

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<v Speaker 2>but they'll have to work it out, and they'll also

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<v Speaker 2>remind them in class. But what they'll also say is,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, this is what we expect of you now.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And what you'll find is she'll do it because it's

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<v Speaker 2>someone else telling her.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not you.

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<v Speaker 2>If it was you telling her, she'd be like, fuck

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<v Speaker 2>what mom say? She's still going to be across it

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<v Speaker 2>all if you make it obvious, like I'm not gonna

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<v Speaker 2>know about this stuff, you just have to wake it up.

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<v Speaker 3>That's what I was worried about. I was like, how

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<v Speaker 3>did you forget it was Wednesday? I know it's Wednesday

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<v Speaker 3>because I got to get up and go to work.

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<v Speaker 3>You got up and when it's Wednesday. Oh, it doesn't

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<v Speaker 3>matter about swimming, just pack your bag. Pack your bag

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<v Speaker 3>that she goes. Why can't you have reminded me the

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<v Speaker 3>night before.

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<v Speaker 1>Because you're the PA, you're the diary.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh yes, I had nothing even to come back with

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<v Speaker 3>on that note. I was just like, and then, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>you beat yourself up, as you do being a mom.

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<v Speaker 3>You go, maybe I should have just packed her bag

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<v Speaker 3>the night before. Would have been so much easier. She

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<v Speaker 3>wouldn't have had all of that mess around, she wouldn't

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<v Speaker 3>have had to come home.

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<v Speaker 2>And the problem is is that, yes, it is easier

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<v Speaker 2>for you to just do that or remind her or

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<v Speaker 2>pack the bag or whatever, like it's that's super easy.

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<v Speaker 1>That takes you like two seconds.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, However, all you're doing is extending they're not needed

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<v Speaker 2>to know anything about what today is gonna entail.

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<v Speaker 3>Just to top that off, just to make it so

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<v Speaker 3>that I'm not the only one that's in it. One

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<v Speaker 3>of the mom's got to fit stop the other morning.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a seven o'clock class, so most of them bring

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<v Speaker 3>the kids. They sit like in the krash area. By

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<v Speaker 3>the time we're finishing, they just walk to school. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 3>She rocks up and she's in a mood right, And

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<v Speaker 3>I was like, oh, everything okay, And she's like, how

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<v Speaker 3>do you walk out of the house with your shoes on?

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<v Speaker 3>So one of her boys have walked out of the house,

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<v Speaker 3>She's drove fifteen twenty minutes to cod to fit Stop

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<v Speaker 3>to then have to leave Stop after the class to

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<v Speaker 3>drive all the way home to drive them all the

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<v Speaker 3>way back to school. Because he just goes, I don't know,

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<v Speaker 3>I just forgot. Yeah, but you've got socks on your feet.

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<v Speaker 3>How did you forget the shoes? And he genuinely stood

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<v Speaker 3>there in front of all of us and was like,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know, I just forgot.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like it's mind blowing, mind blowing.

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<v Speaker 1>That is like have you ever forgotten to put your

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<v Speaker 1>shoes on? When you know?

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<v Speaker 3>I looked at him, I said, but how come all

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<v Speaker 3>of us can come to the gym and know that

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<v Speaker 3>we have to put our shoes on to come to

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<v Speaker 3>the gym. It's as simple as that. And he just

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<v Speaker 3>looked at me. It was just like shrugging. And mind you,

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<v Speaker 3>he's the same age as else, so he's.

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<v Speaker 2>Just like doesn't care, be quite right, big fuss. Shoes

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<v Speaker 2>are overrated?

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<v Speaker 3>When he was leaving, I was like, enjoyed the day

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<v Speaker 3>at school with those shoes on. Am I a bad

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<v Speaker 3>mum for not having a comeback?

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<v Speaker 1>Or you didn't think of one quick enough?

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<v Speaker 3>No, No, I didn't know. So this moment, maybe I'd

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<v Speaker 3>had a really long day, but I was like kind

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<v Speaker 3>of just feeling like dumbed down a bit and was

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<v Speaker 3>just like I can't even fight, just can't even fight,

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<v Speaker 3>couldn't even come up with a comeback. It had like

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<v Speaker 3>moments of flashback to my own school days where we

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<v Speaker 3>used to do it all the time as kids, but

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<v Speaker 3>here I am as an adult saying don't do that

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<v Speaker 3>because it'll sink into your skin. So one of them

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<v Speaker 3>comes home and she has a big imprint of pen

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<v Speaker 3>all over her leg, and then I look at one

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<v Speaker 3>of the hands and there's heaps of ink all over

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<v Speaker 3>her hand, but like proper drawn, like she sat there

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<v Speaker 3>obviously really bored as shit doing something at school, maybe learning,

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<v Speaker 3>drawn all over her leg, drawn all over her hand.

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<v Speaker 3>And then I said, baby, you can't do that. You

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<v Speaker 3>can't draw on your stuff like that. Ink is really

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<v Speaker 3>bad for you to sink into your skin. It's like poison.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know if that's true, but that's what my

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<v Speaker 3>mom anyway. So then here I am, like years later

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<v Speaker 3>saying this to my own child, and I was just like,

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<v Speaker 3>look how much ink you've got. You've got it on

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<v Speaker 3>your leg, your arm, you do.

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<v Speaker 1>Just see me with drawing all over me.

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<v Speaker 3>I just said, you can't anyway. I went down the line.

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<v Speaker 3>If you can't, it's poisonous, it's bad for you, it's

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<v Speaker 3>bad for your skin. She goes, well, you can't talk.

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<v Speaker 3>She goes, you've got tattoos. Oh yeah, I said, excuse me.

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<v Speaker 3>She goes, that's ink.

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<v Speaker 1>If it's not pen ink, I don't even know what

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<v Speaker 1>that's made of, what chat.

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<v Speaker 3>Is made of that? So I just sat there, Well,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know the answer mind you like, I've only

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<v Speaker 3>got the very fine line and you like they're not sleeves,

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<v Speaker 3>like everything can be hidden.

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<v Speaker 2>But the ink is injected under your skin, whereas she's

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<v Speaker 2>only drawing over it. So I mean, the argument would

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<v Speaker 2>be that hers is better for her.

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<v Speaker 3>So there I find myself in this situation not having

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<v Speaker 3>it come back. Also, as I'm standing there talking to her,

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<v Speaker 3>just kind of like almost trying to fight my point

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<v Speaker 3>of the story, but not really having any backing. I'm like,

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<v Speaker 3>find myself, start to like turn my arm so that

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<v Speaker 3>you can't see anything. It was like, that is so

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<v Speaker 3>disrespectful of you. I have an adult like obviously, which

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<v Speaker 3>kid was it?

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<v Speaker 1>Elsie?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, of course. And she's standing there and she's like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>well you can't talk. You've got them all over you,

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<v Speaker 3>all over me. I was like, I don't have them

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<v Speaker 3>all over me. And I said, do you see me.

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<v Speaker 1>Drawing all over my haven't you?

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<v Speaker 3>No, I've got like onto but they're tiny, tiny, They're

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<v Speaker 3>all fine line sort of tiny. Anyway, the whole point

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<v Speaker 3>of this is is that when you get bailed by

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<v Speaker 3>your child that you have no comeback. It feels so awkward,

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<v Speaker 3>so awkward.

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<v Speaker 2>Also, let's just have a like little think for a

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<v Speaker 2>moment of the stuff that kids do that makes no sense.

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<v Speaker 2>You've sat there and you've drawn all over your leg.

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<v Speaker 2>I remember having a conversation and this is one of

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<v Speaker 2>those things that you think you're never going to say

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<v Speaker 2>as a human being. I remember saying to my girls,

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<v Speaker 2>and they must have been about two or three maybe,

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<v Speaker 2>and I was like, gosh, stop drawing on your sandwiches.

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<v Speaker 2>I never thought I would ever say those words, stop

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<v Speaker 2>drawing on your sandwiches.

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<v Speaker 3>Stop drawing on sandwiches, someone said to me the other day.

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<v Speaker 3>They said like, very similar, but they had to say

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<v Speaker 3>stop drawing with your shit because they've taken nappy off

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<v Speaker 3>and had started drawing with it all over the wall.

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<v Speaker 3>And I was like, I can happily say that I

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<v Speaker 3>never well, I never had.

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<v Speaker 2>That coloring crayons on the walls, which is very frustrating,

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<v Speaker 2>but that's the totally other thing.

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<v Speaker 1>And yeah, you're right, I never had that with my girls.

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<v Speaker 2>I've heard so many stories about babies that get to

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<v Speaker 2>the point where they can take off their nap and

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<v Speaker 2>they're like, oh, yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Mum told me to go to sleep, and so instead

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<v Speaker 3>I'm going to shit in my nappy and then write

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<v Speaker 3>with it on the wall. And she's got.

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<v Speaker 1>Twins, Oh god, learning from each other.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh my gosh. I was like, I wouldn't have coaked

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<v Speaker 3>my nephew and my niece both different times where my

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<v Speaker 3>mother Nanadee was babysitting them using my porter cot. They

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<v Speaker 3>both did it at my house in my portercot and

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<v Speaker 3>I looked at Mom and I was like, nah, nanad

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<v Speaker 3>they're on your watch. I ain't helpful with that shit.

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<v Speaker 3>Like literally, I was like, what is with these kids?

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<v Speaker 3>To talk about the grandparent ererupt she was a firecracker

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<v Speaker 3>that day. Happened twice over the time, and then after

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<v Speaker 3>the second time it was that horrific. But I was like,

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<v Speaker 3>just throw the fucking thing out. I don't want the

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<v Speaker 3>porta coop back. I'd rather kids sleep on the floor

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<v Speaker 3>and then keep that.

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<v Speaker 2>Just throw it out, because it doesn't matter how hard

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<v Speaker 2>you clean that, ye know, even when like when you

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<v Speaker 2>do nappies and stuff and you get some on your finger,

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<v Speaker 2>the amount of times you wash your head and the

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<v Speaker 2>smell doesn't come out.

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<v Speaker 3>I genuinely when talking to other people that are going

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<v Speaker 3>through the toddler stages and they're talking about this so passionately,

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<v Speaker 3>and they're just like, I didn't know what to do.

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<v Speaker 3>And you're like, oh man, you're in the trenches, like

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<v Speaker 3>right now, that kind of stuff. Yeah, we've all been

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<v Speaker 3>through it, but that is like trench's material. She's like,

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't know what to do. I said, well, what

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<v Speaker 3>did you do? And she goes, I don't know. I

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<v Speaker 3>just picked the kid up, sort of not wanting to

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<v Speaker 3>touch it, and then sort of dropped it into the

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<v Speaker 3>shower and just thought I'd just hose them off.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my gosh, a hard one. It is, so where

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<v Speaker 2>did you get to with the stop?

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<v Speaker 3>Nothing had legway, then ninety seconds wouldn't have worked. Nothing,

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<v Speaker 3>I had nothing. I was speechless. I was like, look down.

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<v Speaker 3>I sort of covered them back up and was like,

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<v Speaker 3>I've been defeated by my nine year old. And I

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<v Speaker 3>was like, this is bullshit. You're just coloring in on

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<v Speaker 3>your skin in your head. You walk away. You've got

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<v Speaker 3>about fifty comebacks, but at that particular point on that day,

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<v Speaker 3>I had nothing.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not what you need to do in that situation

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<v Speaker 2>is you need to take some time out right down

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<v Speaker 2>those comebacks and then go back to them and go, hey,

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<v Speaker 2>just by the way, that conversation that we had yesterday

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<v Speaker 2>that you don't remember or care about anymore, well, I've

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<v Speaker 2>got this to say now. The reason I've got tattoos

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<v Speaker 2>is because blah blah blah blah blah, your ink is

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<v Speaker 2>so much worse for you. I've done the research, I've

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<v Speaker 2>looked at Google.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't even know if it is or it is it.

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<v Speaker 3>And I was just like, I remember someone saying that

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<v Speaker 3>to me I'll just go with that. You know, like

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<v Speaker 3>someone teld me, don't we in the skin?

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<v Speaker 1>It's really bad for you.

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<v Speaker 3>And it's like poison in your skin. You're not thinking

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<v Speaker 3>about that way laying they're getting your tattoo. What about

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<v Speaker 3>the people that are covered in tattoos, Like literally I

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<v Speaker 3>saw someone the other day, literally their whole head had

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<v Speaker 3>been tattooed. Oh, I just need And then I'm worried

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<v Speaker 3>about my kid getting a text and.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but then let's have a look at how bad

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<v Speaker 2>hair dye is for us.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, we don't need to go down much to