WEBVTT - "I'm 9 and I know EVERYTHING!"

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<v Speaker 1>Apod Shape Production.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome back to another episode of Am I A Bad Mom? Podcast?

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<v Speaker 2>It's a question we continuously ask, am I a bad mum?

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<v Speaker 1>Am I a bad mom? Dad? Parent? You know? The

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<v Speaker 1>list goes on. There's so many cars out there. We're

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<v Speaker 1>in this together. We are in this together, in this together.

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<v Speaker 1>It's teamwork. Teamwork makes a dream work. Speaking of teamwork,

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<v Speaker 1>I've solo parented all weekend this weekend, though I did

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<v Speaker 1>feel like Katie I just filled the weekend with way

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<v Speaker 1>too much. I felt a little bit like I've been

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<v Speaker 1>not available for the last few weeks, and so I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, Yep, yes we can, Yes, we'll go to

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<v Speaker 1>the movies, Yes we'll do My God, I'm exhausted. And

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<v Speaker 1>I actually have to take that back. I wasn't sober

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<v Speaker 1>all weekend, I was gonna say, And she was sober

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<v Speaker 1>for the whole weekend. Nah shit. Sunday afternoon, I had

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<v Speaker 1>a cider, just one, just one.

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<v Speaker 2>Wow.

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<v Speaker 1>Saturday night, though, I have to confess to this because

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<v Speaker 1>it is what our parenting topic always tends to talk about.

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<v Speaker 1>Was we were sitting at the movies. It was a

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<v Speaker 1>six o'clock movie. We'd had a bite to eat before

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<v Speaker 1>going in, and I was like saving some room for

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<v Speaker 1>popcorn because I love popcorn. And I saw a lady

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<v Speaker 1>walk into. We're just in Vmax, So I don't ever

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<v Speaker 1>think about alcohol. Yeah, I think it's just gold class.

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<v Speaker 1>For some reason, I don't know why. She was right

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<v Speaker 1>in front of us, like rose in front of us,

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<v Speaker 1>and she comes in with one glass of champagne and

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<v Speaker 1>she sits down. I was like, I forgot about that,

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<v Speaker 1>and then I went, no, Rachel, you sitting with your

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<v Speaker 1>kids eating popcorn. You don't even need it. It's ridiculous.

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<v Speaker 1>She went for three rounds.

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<v Speaker 2>I had to see that three times, and did you

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<v Speaker 2>still sit there just with popcorn?

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<v Speaker 1>I still sat there with popcorn, just to beat myself

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<v Speaker 1>up a little bit more. But I did look at

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<v Speaker 1>it each time ago. That must taste nice.

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<v Speaker 2>Why do we this is the thing. Why do we

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<v Speaker 2>give ourselves such a hard time?

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<v Speaker 1>Like?

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<v Speaker 2>Why was that even a thing? That at you up? Going, No, Rachel,

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<v Speaker 2>just to eat popcorn? You with your kids? Why not?

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<v Speaker 2>Why not with my kids? We live once and bloody

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<v Speaker 2>get it.

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<v Speaker 1>I think by the third time, Katty, I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>my mouth is like salmating. As I watched her sit

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<v Speaker 1>down happily. Mind you, I don't know how she got home.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel sad about that. I feel so sad about that.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like I want to pull you one now.

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<v Speaker 2>Am I a bad mum for clam down on sleep?

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<v Speaker 1>Sleep?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? So my kids are constantly pushing back, I think

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<v Speaker 2>as everyone's in general, ah about why don't we have

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<v Speaker 2>to get to bed so early? Then we're fifteen now,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, no, you're still children. You have to have

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<v Speaker 2>a bedtime. You still have to get up for school,

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<v Speaker 2>you have to have a bedtime, like everyone has to

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<v Speaker 2>sleep so important, it's so important. We were away on

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<v Speaker 2>the weekend, and so it was one of those situations,

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<v Speaker 2>and I know I've spoken about it before, but it's

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<v Speaker 2>a difficult one because they are fifteen, so they can

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<v Speaker 2>do stuff for themselves. However, they're still a bit too

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<v Speaker 2>young to stay overnight on their own and they don't

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<v Speaker 2>want to stay over.

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<v Speaker 1>Say they don't want to either.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, it's a difficult one because you can't have babysitters.

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<v Speaker 2>Like a babysitter isn't the right option. It's more so

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<v Speaker 2>someone to hang out and just sleep in the house

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<v Speaker 2>to make sure you know everyone's.

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<v Speaker 1>Safe, safe Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>We were away for three nights. I had three different people,

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<v Speaker 2>which is gonna be so much anxiety, you know when

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<v Speaker 2>like because I was away with my husband, and you

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<v Speaker 2>know when with husbands or I don't know if this

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<v Speaker 2>is a male thing or not, but it's like we're

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<v Speaker 2>going away. They book the trip away possibly or even

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<v Speaker 2>just agree to you know those great dates yep, and

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<v Speaker 2>then they go, Yeah, they don't think about all the

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<v Speaker 2>shit that needs to be done before you leave. So

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<v Speaker 2>sorting out where the kids are gonna go, sorting out

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<v Speaker 2>what the kids are gonna eat, making sure there's food

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<v Speaker 2>in the fridge, after school activities they've gone on, making

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<v Speaker 2>sure they're gonna get there okay, and how that's gonna

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<v Speaker 2>work out, even like making sure that the spare bedding

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<v Speaker 2>is clean for the person that is going to sleep overnight,

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<v Speaker 2>the pets have got the food that they need. Like

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like all of that it is yours, it's mine, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>because it is, because it is. That's all my job.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'd organized three different people because they could only

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<v Speaker 2>do one day at a time. I had a girl

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<v Speaker 2>stay over on on the first night, which was great.

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<v Speaker 2>I had a lady stay over on the second night,

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<v Speaker 2>and then the third night they were going to a

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<v Speaker 2>friend's house for a sleepover, so that was all organized.

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<v Speaker 2>The first night, Billie Eilish's album was dropping at midnight,

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<v Speaker 2>and they are massive Billie Eilish fans, and they said

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<v Speaker 2>to me, Mum, can we please please stay up to midnight?

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<v Speaker 2>They were so excited they were literally counting down to

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<v Speaker 2>when this album was going to drop. I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>why she has to do it at midnight.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't understand why her audience is young.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm dropping in at midnight.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, it's not going to change anything from

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<v Speaker 1>midnight also to six am, when you can wake up

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<v Speaker 1>and then download it at the hend, I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>thanks Billy for.

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<v Speaker 2>Nothing, I said, Because they had school the next day.

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<v Speaker 2>My first thought is, no, you can't stay up till

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<v Speaker 2>Midnight's the school night. Blah blah blah. My second thought was,

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<v Speaker 2>you're not even going to be there, so do you care?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh? Not only that you could set the rules, but

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<v Speaker 1>are they going to you know exactly? You say absolutely not. Yeah, no,

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<v Speaker 1>you're not staying up until midnight. You're not there. No,

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<v Speaker 1>they're not going to be ringing you to go.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, just let you know we're still up because we

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<v Speaker 2>have a r all in our house where devices need

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<v Speaker 2>to come down at a certain time in the evening,

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<v Speaker 2>and then they go on charge downstairs because I want

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<v Speaker 2>of them sat upstairs like on screens. My kids are

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<v Speaker 2>still at the stage where they would literally never go

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<v Speaker 2>to bed, like they would just stay up. They're not

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<v Speaker 2>at the stage where they put themselves to bed because

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<v Speaker 2>they're tired. They're never tired. My kids are still never

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<v Speaker 2>tired in their minds.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, in their minds until they have the milk down.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. So they stayed up on the first night and

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<v Speaker 2>I said to them, what time did you stay up to?

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<v Speaker 1>And they said three am. I was like.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, because not only did they stay up till midnight

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<v Speaker 2>for the album drop, they then listened to the album

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<v Speaker 2>four times before they went to sleep.

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<v Speaker 1>Wonderful Yeah, three am.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like, okay, whatever, I'm not there to

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<v Speaker 2>see you bad mood tomorrow. I'm not also not there

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<v Speaker 2>to try and get you up for school in the

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<v Speaker 2>morning after four hours four hours sleep. So I was

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<v Speaker 2>like whatever. Next night, they were so tired. They were

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<v Speaker 2>so tired, and I had called to check in on

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<v Speaker 2>them and Emelia was crying and I said, what's the matter,

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<v Speaker 2>and she was like, Mary, who's the person that was

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<v Speaker 2>coming over to look after them? Mary called and she

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<v Speaker 2>said she's going to beat the horn at eight pm

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<v Speaker 2>outside and she's gonna take us for an ice cream.

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<v Speaker 2>And all I want to do is going to bend.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, that's really sweet. You can tell her,

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<v Speaker 2>tell her that you really don't know. I don't want

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<v Speaker 2>to make her feel bad. So she's doing the nice thing.

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<v Speaker 2>She's thinking, I'm going to go, you know, stay overnight.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to get there at eight pm. That will

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<v Speaker 2>be really nice. I'll take them for an ice cream.

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<v Speaker 1>They were so tired, she was dying inside, going I

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<v Speaker 1>don't think I'm going to make ice cream.

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<v Speaker 2>So they stay up late again that night, and then

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<v Speaker 2>that next night they going for a sleepover, so there's

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<v Speaker 2>no sleep pad. So by the time Sunday night came around,

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<v Speaker 2>we're home. Everything's great, And I say at seven forty five,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, I think you should brush your teeth

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<v Speaker 2>and think about going to bed. Holly looks at me.

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<v Speaker 2>The backlash that I got from her, We're not babies.

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<v Speaker 2>Why do we have to have a bedtime? It's only

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<v Speaker 2>seven forty five. I was like, it's seven forty five. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>by the time you fucked around and brush your teeth,

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<v Speaker 2>it's gonna be one pm. Yeah, But the amount of

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<v Speaker 2>backlash I got over the bedtime I ended up saying

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<v Speaker 2>to her, I thought I could go one of two

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<v Speaker 2>ways here. I could either do the whole month thing

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<v Speaker 2>of explaining, you know, it's healthy, you need your sleep,

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<v Speaker 2>you've had late nights, you have to have a bedtime,

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<v Speaker 2>you're still a child, blah blah, blah blah blah. And

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<v Speaker 2>then I was like, that's not gonna work. Like she's

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<v Speaker 2>gonna hear that. It's gonna go in one ear out

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<v Speaker 2>the other. Eg she's not gonna understand it. She's not

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<v Speaker 2>gonna give a shit. I thought to myself, the only

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<v Speaker 2>way that she is really going to take this on

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<v Speaker 2>board is if I play on the fact that she's

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<v Speaker 2>still acting like a child and she's not acting older

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<v Speaker 2>than she is. And I said, when you're older, it's

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<v Speaker 2>kite patronizing or anything about it. When you're older and

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<v Speaker 2>you're more mature, you'll understand that if you have late night,

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<v Speaker 2>late night, late night, lack of sleep, Yeah, you need

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<v Speaker 2>to catch up on that, so you'll get it when

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<v Speaker 2>you're older, You're understand when you're a bit more mature,

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<v Speaker 2>you'll understand the need for it. I said, look at

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<v Speaker 2>me on a Monday night. I'm in bed at eight o'clock.

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<v Speaker 2>Why am I in bed at eight o'clock on a

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<v Speaker 2>Monday night? Usually because I've had a big weekend and

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<v Speaker 2>I've stayed up late. Yeah, and I need to catch

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<v Speaker 2>up on my sleep, and that's what happens.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that sometimes you have to do that, like

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<v Speaker 1>reverse it, because if one way that you've been doing

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<v Speaker 1>isn't working, yeah, you clearly need to shake shit up.

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<v Speaker 1>I totally agree with the sleep pattern because imagine if

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<v Speaker 1>you just let them, the repercussions of that is also

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<v Speaker 1>then on you because you've got to pick the pieces up.

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<v Speaker 1>So you've got one. So Amelia she goes into tears,

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<v Speaker 1>Holly's backlash and outburst towards you. It's just tiredness. And

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<v Speaker 1>then old Loves over there just crying because she can't

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<v Speaker 1>cope because that's the way that she manages when she's tired.

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<v Speaker 1>I had the same thing with el so it was

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<v Speaker 1>more around the whole slowly moving into winter, put a

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<v Speaker 1>jumper on and something on your feet because you've slightly

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<v Speaker 1>got a bit of a sniffle. And at the end

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<v Speaker 1>of the day, darling, if you want to continue pushing

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<v Speaker 1>the envelope on your body in the cold, you're going

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<v Speaker 1>to get a cold. I'm not dealing with that because

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<v Speaker 1>as a parent, we get the repercussions of them being

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<v Speaker 1>run down yep, getting a cold, you know, being too

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<v Speaker 1>fatigued that they can't do their schoolwork. Whatever the list

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<v Speaker 1>is of symptoms that might come off the back of

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<v Speaker 1>very late nights, no backing up of the body. And

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<v Speaker 1>then I'm baddling the cold.

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<v Speaker 2>And why is that such a battle? But why does

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<v Speaker 2>that have to be such a battle?

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<v Speaker 1>Put a juster on because you know cold? Because you

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<v Speaker 1>know nothing, Katie. You know nothing. You have been doing

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<v Speaker 1>this shit for forty years. You know fucking nothing. That

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<v Speaker 1>is why I'm nine and I know everything.