1
00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:07,281
Speaker 1: Apod Shape Production.

2
00:00:23,241 --> 00:00:27,641
Speaker 2: Welcome back to another episode of Am I A Bad Mom? Podcast?

3
00:00:27,841 --> 00:00:31,281
Speaker 2: It's a question we continuously ask, am I a bad mum?

4
00:00:31,601 --> 00:00:34,601
Speaker 1: Am I a bad mom? Dad? Parent? You know? The

5
00:00:34,641 --> 00:00:37,920
Speaker 1: list goes on. There's so many cars out there. We're

6
00:00:37,961 --> 00:00:41,321
Speaker 1: in this together. We are in this together, in this together.

7
00:00:41,521 --> 00:00:45,321
Speaker 1: It's teamwork. Teamwork makes a dream work. Speaking of teamwork,

8
00:00:45,721 --> 00:00:50,081
Speaker 1: I've solo parented all weekend this weekend, though I did

9
00:00:50,161 --> 00:00:56,641
Speaker 1: feel like Katie I just filled the weekend with way

10
00:00:56,761 --> 00:00:59,681
Speaker 1: too much. I felt a little bit like I've been

11
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:03,081
Speaker 1: not available for the last few weeks, and so I

12
00:01:03,121 --> 00:01:06,041
Speaker 1: was like, Yep, yes we can, Yes, we'll go to

13
00:01:06,081 --> 00:01:09,920
Speaker 1: the movies, Yes we'll do My God, I'm exhausted. And

14
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:12,920
Speaker 1: I actually have to take that back. I wasn't sober

15
00:01:12,961 --> 00:01:16,441
Speaker 1: all weekend, I was gonna say, And she was sober

16
00:01:16,601 --> 00:01:19,281
Speaker 1: for the whole weekend. Nah shit. Sunday afternoon, I had

17
00:01:19,321 --> 00:01:21,840
Speaker 1: a cider, just one, just one.

18
00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:22,680
Speaker 2: Wow.

19
00:01:22,801 --> 00:01:26,121
Speaker 1: Saturday night, though, I have to confess to this because

20
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:29,761
Speaker 1: it is what our parenting topic always tends to talk about.

21
00:01:30,161 --> 00:01:31,761
Speaker 1: Was we were sitting at the movies. It was a

22
00:01:31,801 --> 00:01:34,880
Speaker 1: six o'clock movie. We'd had a bite to eat before

23
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,440
Speaker 1: going in, and I was like saving some room for

24
00:01:37,481 --> 00:01:42,640
Speaker 1: popcorn because I love popcorn. And I saw a lady

25
00:01:42,681 --> 00:01:46,761
Speaker 1: walk into. We're just in Vmax, So I don't ever

26
00:01:47,121 --> 00:01:50,361
Speaker 1: think about alcohol. Yeah, I think it's just gold class.

27
00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:52,601
Speaker 1: For some reason, I don't know why. She was right

28
00:01:52,601 --> 00:01:54,281
Speaker 1: in front of us, like rose in front of us,

29
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,441
Speaker 1: and she comes in with one glass of champagne and

30
00:01:56,521 --> 00:01:59,841
Speaker 1: she sits down. I was like, I forgot about that,

31
00:01:59,921 --> 00:02:01,801
Speaker 1: and then I went, no, Rachel, you sitting with your

32
00:02:01,881 --> 00:02:06,041
Speaker 1: kids eating popcorn. You don't even need it. It's ridiculous.

33
00:02:06,801 --> 00:02:08,601
Speaker 1: She went for three rounds.

34
00:02:08,641 --> 00:02:12,201
Speaker 2: I had to see that three times, and did you

35
00:02:12,241 --> 00:02:13,561
Speaker 2: still sit there just with popcorn?

36
00:02:13,641 --> 00:02:17,361
Speaker 1: I still sat there with popcorn, just to beat myself

37
00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:19,281
Speaker 1: up a little bit more. But I did look at

38
00:02:19,321 --> 00:02:21,921
Speaker 1: it each time ago. That must taste nice.

39
00:02:22,481 --> 00:02:24,321
Speaker 2: Why do we this is the thing. Why do we

40
00:02:24,321 --> 00:02:25,681
Speaker 2: give ourselves such a hard time?

41
00:02:26,321 --> 00:02:26,441
Speaker 1: Like?

42
00:02:26,561 --> 00:02:30,681
Speaker 2: Why was that even a thing? That at you up? Going, No, Rachel,

43
00:02:30,841 --> 00:02:33,081
Speaker 2: just to eat popcorn? You with your kids? Why not?

44
00:02:33,561 --> 00:02:36,721
Speaker 2: Why not with my kids? We live once and bloody

45
00:02:36,761 --> 00:02:37,120
Speaker 2: get it.

46
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:40,361
Speaker 1: I think by the third time, Katty, I was like,

47
00:02:40,641 --> 00:02:44,520
Speaker 1: my mouth is like salmating. As I watched her sit

48
00:02:44,561 --> 00:02:47,960
Speaker 1: down happily. Mind you, I don't know how she got home.

49
00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:51,361
Speaker 2: I feel sad about that. I feel so sad about that.

50
00:02:51,441 --> 00:02:55,960
Speaker 2: I feel like I want to pull you one now.

51
00:03:03,001 --> 00:03:07,201
Speaker 2: Am I a bad mum for clam down on sleep?

52
00:03:07,441 --> 00:03:07,841
Speaker 1: Sleep?

53
00:03:08,201 --> 00:03:11,761
Speaker 2: Yeah? So my kids are constantly pushing back, I think

54
00:03:11,841 --> 00:03:15,881
Speaker 2: as everyone's in general, ah about why don't we have

55
00:03:15,921 --> 00:03:19,201
Speaker 2: to get to bed so early? Then we're fifteen now,

56
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,001
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, you're still children. You have to have

57
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,041
Speaker 2: a bedtime. You still have to get up for school,

58
00:03:23,321 --> 00:03:26,201
Speaker 2: you have to have a bedtime, like everyone has to

59
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,361
Speaker 2: sleep so important, it's so important. We were away on

60
00:03:29,401 --> 00:03:33,001
Speaker 2: the weekend, and so it was one of those situations,

61
00:03:33,041 --> 00:03:35,921
Speaker 2: and I know I've spoken about it before, but it's

62
00:03:35,961 --> 00:03:39,121
Speaker 2: a difficult one because they are fifteen, so they can

63
00:03:39,161 --> 00:03:42,720
Speaker 2: do stuff for themselves. However, they're still a bit too

64
00:03:42,761 --> 00:03:45,081
Speaker 2: young to stay overnight on their own and they don't

65
00:03:45,081 --> 00:03:45,641
Speaker 2: want to stay over.

66
00:03:46,281 --> 00:03:47,201
Speaker 1: Say they don't want to either.

67
00:03:47,321 --> 00:03:52,081
Speaker 2: You know, it's a difficult one because you can't have babysitters.

68
00:03:52,121 --> 00:03:55,961
Speaker 2: Like a babysitter isn't the right option. It's more so

69
00:03:56,161 --> 00:03:58,841
Speaker 2: someone to hang out and just sleep in the house

70
00:03:59,201 --> 00:04:01,961
Speaker 2: to make sure you know everyone's.

71
00:04:01,721 --> 00:04:03,561
Speaker 1: Safe, safe Yeah.

72
00:04:03,281 --> 00:04:06,681
Speaker 2: We were away for three nights. I had three different people,

73
00:04:06,961 --> 00:04:09,601
Speaker 2: which is gonna be so much anxiety, you know when

74
00:04:09,721 --> 00:04:11,281
Speaker 2: like because I was away with my husband, and you

75
00:04:11,321 --> 00:04:14,521
Speaker 2: know when with husbands or I don't know if this

76
00:04:14,681 --> 00:04:18,081
Speaker 2: is a male thing or not, but it's like we're

77
00:04:18,121 --> 00:04:22,720
Speaker 2: going away. They book the trip away possibly or even

78
00:04:22,841 --> 00:04:25,961
Speaker 2: just agree to you know those great dates yep, and

79
00:04:26,001 --> 00:04:29,841
Speaker 2: then they go, Yeah, they don't think about all the

80
00:04:30,001 --> 00:04:33,041
Speaker 2: shit that needs to be done before you leave. So

81
00:04:34,081 --> 00:04:37,081
Speaker 2: sorting out where the kids are gonna go, sorting out

82
00:04:37,081 --> 00:04:39,321
Speaker 2: what the kids are gonna eat, making sure there's food

83
00:04:39,361 --> 00:04:42,121
Speaker 2: in the fridge, after school activities they've gone on, making

84
00:04:42,201 --> 00:04:44,801
Speaker 2: sure they're gonna get there okay, and how that's gonna

85
00:04:44,841 --> 00:04:48,961
Speaker 2: work out, even like making sure that the spare bedding

86
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:52,041
Speaker 2: is clean for the person that is going to sleep overnight,

87
00:04:52,081 --> 00:04:53,760
Speaker 2: the pets have got the food that they need. Like

88
00:04:53,841 --> 00:04:57,440
Speaker 2: I feel like all of that it is yours, it's mine, Yeah,

89
00:04:57,481 --> 00:05:01,041
Speaker 2: because it is, because it is. That's all my job.

90
00:05:01,841 --> 00:05:06,200
Speaker 2: So I'd organized three different people because they could only

91
00:05:06,241 --> 00:05:08,001
Speaker 2: do one day at a time. I had a girl

92
00:05:08,081 --> 00:05:10,880
Speaker 2: stay over on on the first night, which was great.

93
00:05:11,201 --> 00:05:13,321
Speaker 2: I had a lady stay over on the second night,

94
00:05:13,361 --> 00:05:14,681
Speaker 2: and then the third night they were going to a

95
00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:18,081
Speaker 2: friend's house for a sleepover, so that was all organized.

96
00:05:18,761 --> 00:05:23,121
Speaker 2: The first night, Billie Eilish's album was dropping at midnight,

97
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:25,561
Speaker 2: and they are massive Billie Eilish fans, and they said

98
00:05:25,601 --> 00:05:28,561
Speaker 2: to me, Mum, can we please please stay up to midnight?

99
00:05:28,761 --> 00:05:32,241
Speaker 2: They were so excited they were literally counting down to

100
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,080
Speaker 2: when this album was going to drop. I don't know

101
00:05:34,081 --> 00:05:35,361
Speaker 2: why she has to do it at midnight.

102
00:05:35,481 --> 00:05:38,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't understand why her audience is young.

103
00:05:39,041 --> 00:05:40,320
Speaker 2: I'm dropping in at midnight.

104
00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:42,681
Speaker 1: I was like, it's not going to change anything from

105
00:05:42,761 --> 00:05:45,080
Speaker 1: midnight also to six am, when you can wake up

106
00:05:45,121 --> 00:05:46,640
Speaker 1: and then download it at the hend, I was like,

107
00:05:47,201 --> 00:05:48,641
Speaker 1: thanks Billy for.

108
00:05:48,641 --> 00:05:52,801
Speaker 2: Nothing, I said, Because they had school the next day.

109
00:05:53,121 --> 00:05:55,401
Speaker 2: My first thought is, no, you can't stay up till

110
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:58,281
Speaker 2: Midnight's the school night. Blah blah blah. My second thought was,

111
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,681
Speaker 2: you're not even going to be there, so do you care?

112
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:04,361
Speaker 1: Oh? Not only that you could set the rules, but

113
00:06:04,401 --> 00:06:09,481
Speaker 1: are they going to you know exactly? You say absolutely not. Yeah, no,

114
00:06:09,521 --> 00:06:12,961
Speaker 1: you're not staying up until midnight. You're not there. No,

115
00:06:13,161 --> 00:06:15,281
Speaker 1: they're not going to be ringing you to go.

116
00:06:15,401 --> 00:06:18,361
Speaker 2: Hey, just let you know we're still up because we

117
00:06:18,401 --> 00:06:20,521
Speaker 2: have a r all in our house where devices need

118
00:06:20,561 --> 00:06:22,320
Speaker 2: to come down at a certain time in the evening,

119
00:06:22,601 --> 00:06:24,721
Speaker 2: and then they go on charge downstairs because I want

120
00:06:24,681 --> 00:06:28,001
Speaker 2: of them sat upstairs like on screens. My kids are

121
00:06:28,041 --> 00:06:30,041
Speaker 2: still at the stage where they would literally never go

122
00:06:30,121 --> 00:06:32,320
Speaker 2: to bed, like they would just stay up. They're not

123
00:06:32,401 --> 00:06:34,401
Speaker 2: at the stage where they put themselves to bed because

124
00:06:34,401 --> 00:06:37,401
Speaker 2: they're tired. They're never tired. My kids are still never

125
00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:39,001
Speaker 2: tired in their minds.

126
00:06:39,081 --> 00:06:41,321
Speaker 1: Yeah, in their minds until they have the milk down.

127
00:06:41,481 --> 00:06:44,400
Speaker 2: Yeah. So they stayed up on the first night and

128
00:06:44,521 --> 00:06:46,001
Speaker 2: I said to them, what time did you stay up to?

129
00:06:46,041 --> 00:06:48,441
Speaker 1: And they said three am. I was like.

130
00:06:49,921 --> 00:06:52,561
Speaker 2: Okay, because not only did they stay up till midnight

131
00:06:52,801 --> 00:06:55,601
Speaker 2: for the album drop, they then listened to the album

132
00:06:55,641 --> 00:06:57,521
Speaker 2: four times before they went to sleep.

133
00:06:57,761 --> 00:06:59,161
Speaker 1: Wonderful Yeah, three am.

134
00:06:59,281 --> 00:07:01,121
Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, whatever, I'm not there to

135
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:03,761
Speaker 2: see you bad mood tomorrow. I'm not also not there

136
00:07:03,801 --> 00:07:05,281
Speaker 2: to try and get you up for school in the

137
00:07:05,281 --> 00:07:08,361
Speaker 2: morning after four hours four hours sleep. So I was

138
00:07:08,401 --> 00:07:13,521
Speaker 2: like whatever. Next night, they were so tired. They were

139
00:07:13,561 --> 00:07:17,481
Speaker 2: so tired, and I had called to check in on

140
00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,881
Speaker 2: them and Emelia was crying and I said, what's the matter,

141
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:25,201
Speaker 2: and she was like, Mary, who's the person that was

142
00:07:25,241 --> 00:07:29,641
Speaker 2: coming over to look after them? Mary called and she

143
00:07:29,681 --> 00:07:32,201
Speaker 2: said she's going to beat the horn at eight pm

144
00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:36,441
Speaker 2: outside and she's gonna take us for an ice cream.

145
00:07:36,961 --> 00:07:38,601
Speaker 2: And all I want to do is going to bend.

146
00:07:40,841 --> 00:07:43,001
Speaker 2: I was like, that's really sweet. You can tell her,

147
00:07:43,241 --> 00:07:44,961
Speaker 2: tell her that you really don't know. I don't want

148
00:07:44,961 --> 00:07:47,841
Speaker 2: to make her feel bad. So she's doing the nice thing.

149
00:07:48,321 --> 00:07:51,081
Speaker 2: She's thinking, I'm going to go, you know, stay overnight.

150
00:07:51,121 --> 00:07:53,241
Speaker 2: I'm going to get there at eight pm. That will

151
00:07:53,321 --> 00:07:57,161
Speaker 2: be really nice. I'll take them for an ice cream.

152
00:07:57,441 --> 00:08:00,041
Speaker 1: They were so tired, she was dying inside, going I

153
00:08:00,081 --> 00:08:01,761
Speaker 1: don't think I'm going to make ice cream.

154
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:03,961
Speaker 2: So they stay up late again that night, and then

155
00:08:04,001 --> 00:08:07,201
Speaker 2: that next night they going for a sleepover, so there's

156
00:08:07,241 --> 00:08:10,761
Speaker 2: no sleep pad. So by the time Sunday night came around,

157
00:08:11,201 --> 00:08:16,241
Speaker 2: we're home. Everything's great, And I say at seven forty five,

158
00:08:16,361 --> 00:08:18,041
Speaker 2: I was like, I think you should brush your teeth

159
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:21,681
Speaker 2: and think about going to bed. Holly looks at me.

160
00:08:21,841 --> 00:08:26,121
Speaker 2: The backlash that I got from her, We're not babies.

161
00:08:26,401 --> 00:08:29,601
Speaker 2: Why do we have to have a bedtime? It's only

162
00:08:29,761 --> 00:08:32,521
Speaker 2: seven forty five. I was like, it's seven forty five. Now,

163
00:08:32,561 --> 00:08:34,121
Speaker 2: by the time you fucked around and brush your teeth,

164
00:08:34,121 --> 00:08:39,161
Speaker 2: it's gonna be one pm. Yeah, But the amount of

165
00:08:39,161 --> 00:08:43,241
Speaker 2: backlash I got over the bedtime I ended up saying

166
00:08:43,281 --> 00:08:45,921
Speaker 2: to her, I thought I could go one of two

167
00:08:45,921 --> 00:08:48,921
Speaker 2: ways here. I could either do the whole month thing

168
00:08:49,001 --> 00:08:52,241
Speaker 2: of explaining, you know, it's healthy, you need your sleep,

169
00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:54,201
Speaker 2: you've had late nights, you have to have a bedtime,

170
00:08:54,241 --> 00:08:56,441
Speaker 2: you're still a child, blah blah, blah blah blah. And

171
00:08:56,441 --> 00:08:58,601
Speaker 2: then I was like, that's not gonna work. Like she's

172
00:08:58,641 --> 00:09:00,761
Speaker 2: gonna hear that. It's gonna go in one ear out

173
00:09:00,761 --> 00:09:02,761
Speaker 2: the other. Eg she's not gonna understand it. She's not

174
00:09:02,761 --> 00:09:04,441
Speaker 2: gonna give a shit. I thought to myself, the only

175
00:09:04,481 --> 00:09:07,601
Speaker 2: way that she is really going to take this on

176
00:09:07,761 --> 00:09:13,041
Speaker 2: board is if I play on the fact that she's

177
00:09:13,081 --> 00:09:17,161
Speaker 2: still acting like a child and she's not acting older

178
00:09:17,161 --> 00:09:19,761
Speaker 2: than she is. And I said, when you're older, it's

179
00:09:19,801 --> 00:09:23,401
Speaker 2: kite patronizing or anything about it. When you're older and

180
00:09:23,441 --> 00:09:27,641
Speaker 2: you're more mature, you'll understand that if you have late night,

181
00:09:27,681 --> 00:09:30,721
Speaker 2: late night, late night, lack of sleep, Yeah, you need

182
00:09:30,761 --> 00:09:32,801
Speaker 2: to catch up on that, so you'll get it when

183
00:09:32,841 --> 00:09:38,041
Speaker 2: you're older, You're understand when you're a bit more mature,

184
00:09:38,081 --> 00:09:40,761
Speaker 2: you'll understand the need for it. I said, look at

185
00:09:40,761 --> 00:09:43,121
Speaker 2: me on a Monday night. I'm in bed at eight o'clock.

186
00:09:43,401 --> 00:09:44,681
Speaker 2: Why am I in bed at eight o'clock on a

187
00:09:44,681 --> 00:09:47,401
Speaker 2: Monday night? Usually because I've had a big weekend and

188
00:09:47,441 --> 00:09:49,321
Speaker 2: I've stayed up late. Yeah, and I need to catch

189
00:09:49,401 --> 00:09:51,041
Speaker 2: up on my sleep, and that's what happens.

190
00:09:51,161 --> 00:09:53,641
Speaker 1: I think that sometimes you have to do that, like

191
00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:56,641
Speaker 1: reverse it, because if one way that you've been doing

192
00:09:56,801 --> 00:09:59,961
Speaker 1: isn't working, yeah, you clearly need to shake shit up.

193
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:06,361
Speaker 1: I totally agree with the sleep pattern because imagine if

194
00:10:06,361 --> 00:10:10,521
Speaker 1: you just let them, the repercussions of that is also

195
00:10:10,561 --> 00:10:13,201
Speaker 1: then on you because you've got to pick the pieces up.

196
00:10:13,201 --> 00:10:16,441
Speaker 1: So you've got one. So Amelia she goes into tears,

197
00:10:17,281 --> 00:10:22,681
Speaker 1: Holly's backlash and outburst towards you. It's just tiredness. And

198
00:10:22,721 --> 00:10:25,721
Speaker 1: then old Loves over there just crying because she can't

199
00:10:25,721 --> 00:10:28,561
Speaker 1: cope because that's the way that she manages when she's tired.

200
00:10:29,401 --> 00:10:31,201
Speaker 1: I had the same thing with el so it was

201
00:10:31,281 --> 00:10:35,001
Speaker 1: more around the whole slowly moving into winter, put a

202
00:10:35,121 --> 00:10:38,041
Speaker 1: jumper on and something on your feet because you've slightly

203
00:10:38,081 --> 00:10:40,441
Speaker 1: got a bit of a sniffle. And at the end

204
00:10:40,441 --> 00:10:43,081
Speaker 1: of the day, darling, if you want to continue pushing

205
00:10:43,121 --> 00:10:46,641
Speaker 1: the envelope on your body in the cold, you're going

206
00:10:46,681 --> 00:10:50,401
Speaker 1: to get a cold. I'm not dealing with that because

207
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:53,881
Speaker 1: as a parent, we get the repercussions of them being

208
00:10:53,961 --> 00:10:58,241
Speaker 1: run down yep, getting a cold, you know, being too

209
00:10:58,281 --> 00:11:02,041
Speaker 1: fatigued that they can't do their schoolwork. Whatever the list

210
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:04,881
Speaker 1: is of symptoms that might come off the back of

211
00:11:05,201 --> 00:11:08,241
Speaker 1: very late nights, no backing up of the body. And

212
00:11:08,281 --> 00:11:10,081
Speaker 1: then I'm baddling the cold.

213
00:11:09,921 --> 00:11:12,201
Speaker 2: And why is that such a battle? But why does

214
00:11:12,201 --> 00:11:13,521
Speaker 2: that have to be such a battle?

215
00:11:13,681 --> 00:11:16,001
Speaker 1: Put a juster on because you know cold? Because you

216
00:11:16,081 --> 00:11:19,761
Speaker 1: know nothing, Katie. You know nothing. You have been doing

217
00:11:19,801 --> 00:11:24,441
Speaker 1: this shit for forty years. You know fucking nothing. That

218
00:11:24,641 --> 00:11:28,801
Speaker 1: is why I'm nine and I know everything.