Speaker 1: Dr Jodi Richardson, Welcome back to the You Project.
Speaker 2: Thank you, it's great you.
Speaker 1: How are you? Lovely?
Speaker 2: Do you know what? I'm actually pretty done good. I'm
Speaker 2: pretty good. I am flat out. I've got a million
Speaker 2: things to do. I counted yesterday that I did sixteen
Speaker 2: trips in my car, sixteen one six and cracked it
Speaker 2: a bit at the kids who were a little bit
Speaker 2: kind of like, you know, woe is me about a
Speaker 2: couple of things, and I'm just like, no, woe is
Speaker 2: me today. But I'm getting things done. I'm getting things
Speaker 2: ticked off and still managing to maintain a pretty good
Speaker 2: sense of humor. And I'm pretty optimistic about kind of
Speaker 2: what's to come. So yeah, generally very good at the moment.
Speaker 1: What's the line or what's the juggling act between letting
Speaker 1: kids fall over and fuck up and experience a little
Speaker 1: bit of adversity and hardship and being the protective mum.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. As a general rule, parents will way
Speaker 2: too protective, way too protective. We don't let them do
Speaker 2: the things in life that we were allowed to do
Speaker 2: when we were kids. But I say that it's very
Speaker 2: hard to step back. I'll give you a personal example.
Speaker 2: I'll give you a couple of examples. So our daughter
Speaker 2: recently got a detention at school for her uniform. She
Speaker 2: wore the wrong socks. She knows better, all right, and
Speaker 2: she was like, oh, Mom, can you get me out
Speaker 2: of it. I'm like, no, You're going to the detention
Speaker 2: Like it's just a little thing. But I think we
Speaker 2: need to let them bear the consequences of their choices.
Speaker 2: You know. Another situation with her at the moment is
Speaker 2: that she has a class that she is not loving.
Speaker 2: She's chosen some electives, all of them are great, bar
Speaker 2: one not loving it and is kind of angling to
Speaker 2: get out of it. And I kind of said to
Speaker 2: her yesterday, look, it's only going to get better, not worse.
Speaker 2: I won't go into the details of what she's not
Speaker 2: loving it. She wouldn't love that. But I just need
Speaker 2: my kids to face the challenges as they come and
Speaker 2: learn that, you know what, it's not the worst thing
Speaker 2: in the world. You can bear the consequences when they come,
Speaker 2: if they come, which are rare, and you can learn
Speaker 2: that you can get through it and get out to
Speaker 2: the other side. You know. Other things like letting them
Speaker 2: on the train, like we live on the Mornington Peninsula.
Speaker 2: As you know, it's about an hour from the city.
Speaker 2: Big shopping center for us sort of the closest one
Speaker 2: would be Southland, And you know, I do worry a
Speaker 2: little bit, but I need to let my kids on
Speaker 2: the bus on the train to get out and do
Speaker 2: things and just let them experience the world, because, my goodness,
Speaker 2: they're going to experience it when they've got their licenses,
Speaker 2: and I want them to have had some challenges, some mishaps,
Speaker 2: some experiences that they've had to kind of navigate before
Speaker 2: they are doing it all on their own and I
Speaker 2: don't have any kind of influence over it. So it's
Speaker 2: bloody hard. It is hard to let go and let
Speaker 2: go of the rains, but it's it's the only way
Speaker 2: that we can set them up to actually get good
Speaker 2: at solving problems and getting themselves out of a jam
Speaker 2: and learning that if they do get in a really
Speaker 2: difficult situation and things go south, that they can come
Speaker 2: out the other side with our support as well. So
Speaker 2: it's not easy. There's no one line. But in general,
Speaker 2: so many parents are kind of doing too much, doing
Speaker 2: too much for them, doing too much with them, and
Speaker 2: holding on pretty tight to the rains and I've done
Speaker 2: that too. No judgment here, but we've got to let go.
Speaker 2: We've got to let go a lot more than we are.
Speaker 1: Do you think there's a relationship between how overprotected parents
Speaker 1: are and the mental fragility of young people that we're seeing.
Speaker 2: I do as you know, like anxiety is like kind
Speaker 2: of my wheelhouse. And you know, when we're anxious about something,
Speaker 2: like the first time you invited me to be on
Speaker 2: your podcast, I was so anxious, Like I was so anxious,
Speaker 2: but it didn't stop me. I said yes, and I
Speaker 2: never faltered on the fact that I really wanted to
Speaker 2: do it. But I don't know how many episodes we're
Speaker 2: into now halps, But now I'm just super excited to
Speaker 2: chat to you. I love chatting with you, and I
Speaker 2: love this community you've created and it's so much easier.
Speaker 2: And yes, there's a bit of anxiety because I care.
Speaker 2: But the only way we can learn that we can
Speaker 2: do the things that we want to do is by
Speaker 2: doing them, and when we're protected from doing them, Like
Speaker 2: you know, a friend of mine was telling me her
Speaker 2: daughter didn't want to go to school because it was
Speaker 2: the day to present the class project so to day
Speaker 2: to present the post to the class, and everyone was
Speaker 2: pulling out and parents were like giving the kids permission
Speaker 2: to not go so they didn't have to do this thing.
Speaker 2: And I tell you what, when you don't do it
Speaker 2: the first time, it's so much harder a second. So yeah,
Speaker 2: not giving our kids freedom. And the other huge thing,
Speaker 2: one of the huge things is risk taking, Like we
Speaker 2: need our kids to fall off their bikes, to fall
Speaker 2: out of a tree, to make a poor decision about
Speaker 2: a public transport choice, to you know, get themselves in
Speaker 2: a bit of a pickle in the shopping center. I
Speaker 2: mean my daughter again, she was with her friend at Target.
Speaker 2: They had stuff from Kmart, they hadn't kept their receipt
Speaker 2: they'd paid for bags, they had receipts for the bags
Speaker 2: they'd bought the fifteen cent bags from Camart. They got
Speaker 2: stopped at the door at Target because the woman thought
Speaker 2: that they'd been stealing and they absolutely hadn't and they
Speaker 2: couldn't prove that, and you know, like if we don't,
Speaker 2: if we don't give them I mean, not that that
Speaker 2: was risk taking as such, because they're good kids. They
Speaker 2: know not to steal, but risk taking and choices in
Speaker 2: in situations where there's no adults is so good for
Speaker 2: our kids, Like they learn to kind of judge things,
Speaker 2: they learn to negotiate, they learn to communicate. You look
Speaker 2: at a game, you let kids go for it and
Speaker 2: play a game like you think of backyard cricket like adults.
Speaker 2: If we just stand back, the kids will sort it out.
Speaker 2: They have to cooperate because they want other kids to play.
Speaker 2: They can't go smashing it out of the park all
Speaker 2: the time because everyone will walk away. It's no fun
Speaker 2: if you're just dominating, you know. If you want to
Speaker 2: kind of like develop the rules around a game, you've
Speaker 2: got to communicate. And this free play, these opportunities, they
Speaker 2: are gold, and they are so they're so missing from
Speaker 2: life for our young kids. They spend a lot of
Speaker 2: time inside, they spend a lot of time online, and
Speaker 2: it's really hurting them. It's really hurting them. So yeah,
Speaker 2: direct correlation between being over protected outside and as Jonathan
Speaker 2: Hate would say, who wrote the an anxious gen underprotected online.
Speaker 1: So we know that. I love that. By the way,
Speaker 1: we know that, like we want our kids to be
Speaker 1: able to, as you said, solve problems because life is
Speaker 1: in many ways, life is about our ability to solve
Speaker 1: problems and to navigate and negotiate, uncertainty, unfamiliarity, discomfort, all
Speaker 1: those things. Should we be And we also know that
Speaker 1: resilience is important, but it seems like we're we're doing
Speaker 1: the opposite of helping them be resilient. Should parents or
Speaker 1: teachers or cares consciously help kids become resilient? Or is that?
Speaker 1: I mean, that's kind of what you're talking about. But
Speaker 1: do we need to be strategic about this? Like I'm
Speaker 1: just thinking, how do you get strong? Like without you know,
Speaker 1: like I'm not accidentally going to build muscle or build strength,
Speaker 1: or build power, or build muscular endurance, or build competence
Speaker 1: or skill unless I go to the in this analogy,
Speaker 1: unless I go to the gym and do the things
Speaker 1: that create that outcome. What about is there a conscious
Speaker 1: way to do this in terms of mental and emotional
Speaker 1: strength and flex cognitive flexibility and capacity that is.
Speaker 2: It's the best analogy. And Lucy, one of our coaches
Speaker 2: at CrossFit, she said recently, because we're talking about women
Speaker 2: being strong, right, we're talking and she said, when she
Speaker 2: sees a woman who's got like muscle, definition got some
Speaker 2: meat on her bones that you know she's worked for
Speaker 2: you know she has worked for it, she has earned that.
Speaker 2: You as have men who are training. You can't buy muscle.
Speaker 2: You have to do the work. And when it comes
Speaker 2: to resilience, you don't just you can't have it handed
Speaker 2: to you on a plate. You have to earn resilience.
Speaker 2: It's not built in a vacuum. But when it comes
Speaker 2: to kind of decisions around building resilience, and I think,
Speaker 2: I think as adults who are looking after or raising
Speaker 2: young people, gosh, I was just thinking, Peter and I
Speaker 2: haven't sat down had a good chat about just life
Speaker 2: and general and things because we're just so busy. I
Speaker 2: think taking the time out with yourself or with your
Speaker 2: partner if you've got one, or with whoever else is
Speaker 2: kind of in the circle of you know, a colleague,
Speaker 2: if you're a teacher, to sort of think about, right,
Speaker 2: what are we doing and what could we do differently
Speaker 2: that would help these kids to have the experiences that
Speaker 2: they need, because that's really what it comes down to.
Speaker 2: You only learn what you can cope with by coping
Speaker 2: with things. And when you know, I can speak from
Speaker 2: example like it is, it is gut wrenching it is
Speaker 2: sick to the stomach when your kids are going through stuff,
Speaker 2: like when your kid comes home and says someone's being
Speaker 2: and you know, watching them at school, like you know,
Speaker 2: somebody's giving them a really hard time on the daily
Speaker 2: at school, or they have worked their butts off to
Speaker 2: try to achieve something and they miss the mark, or
Speaker 2: they just keep get rejected by someone if they're you know,
Speaker 2: reaching out, or they want to sort of connect with someone,
Speaker 2: or all of those things, all of those things that
Speaker 2: just break their hearts. And as a parent, you just
Speaker 2: feel sick. And so I have to tell myself and
Speaker 2: I am not the perfect parent in you know. You know,
Speaker 2: I'm not trying to say that I'm doing it all right.
Speaker 2: I'm navigating it as I go. But I have a really,
Speaker 2: i guess a strong understanding in myself that as hard
Speaker 2: as it is to let them go through these challenges,
Speaker 2: I have to step back, not away, not stepping away.
Speaker 2: I'm not absent, but I am not trying to problem solve.
Speaker 2: I am not trying to pave the path or what
Speaker 2: was that thing there was snowplow parents. I think there
Speaker 2: for a while that were like zooming everything out of
Speaker 2: the way. You know, anticipating what could go wrong. I'm
Speaker 2: trying to remind myself when things go really pear shaped
Speaker 2: that it is an opportunity. And you know, at fourteen
Speaker 2: and sixteen, I can see it in the kids now
Speaker 2: that that resilience muscle is growing. That resilience muscle is growing,
Speaker 2: and they've had enough experiences, you know, on their COVID kids,
Speaker 2: like a lot of you know, teenagers their age, they
Speaker 2: went through the most difficult hard times, you know, and
Speaker 2: our son lacerated his liver at the end of COVID.
Speaker 2: He had a bike accident and lacerated his liver and
Speaker 2: it was on the verge of needing surgery. It was.
Speaker 2: It was terrifying, and you know, obviously you can't problem
Speaker 2: solve your way out of that. You just get them
Speaker 2: thro the emergency center and all of that. But you
Speaker 2: just have to kind of go right with every check
Speaker 2: mark on the board of shitty things that happen. It's
Speaker 2: a learning experience and we don't like it, but we
Speaker 2: have to tell ourselves when they learn that I can
Speaker 2: go through a serious injury and come out the other side.
Speaker 2: I can go through a rejection and come out the
Speaker 2: other side. You know, he got a detention, and I
Speaker 2: was I high fived him that he got a detention
Speaker 2: because he's pretty straight laced. And he made a decision
Speaker 2: one day to leave the school grounds because his mates
Speaker 2: were all going to the local shops and he didn't
Speaker 2: want to be the one wauser who was left behind.
Speaker 2: And I said, you know, I think that was actually
Speaker 2: a good decision because your social connections are everything when
Speaker 2: you're a teenager. And I'm like, just wear that detention.
Speaker 2: I think that you made the right decision under the circumstances.
Speaker 2: It's very safe. You know. Obviously as a former teacher,
Speaker 2: you know, I sort of think, oh, what if this
Speaker 2: school heard me saying this, Well, I for my kid,
Speaker 2: that was the right choice. And I'm like, okay, go
Speaker 2: to the detention as a turnout of his having his
Speaker 2: wisdom teeth out on the day of the detention, and
Speaker 2: they never followed up with it. He got out of
Speaker 2: it in the end. But just this resilience piece is
Speaker 2: really lacking. Kids are quite fragile. Many are struggling. And
Speaker 2: what I'm hearing from my friends who are fifty like
Speaker 2: me and are kind of managing generations that have kind
Speaker 2: of come through below us, behind us, that there's a
Speaker 2: lot of things that they're not very resilient about. And
Speaker 2: I'm generalizing, but it's our job now to let our
Speaker 2: kids go through the stuff they have to go through
Speaker 2: so that they can build that they will thank us,
Speaker 2: and we will be able to relax a lot more
Speaker 2: when they're older, knowing that they've got what they need.
Speaker 2: They're well equipped to cope in this world that is
Speaker 2: really hard sometimes.
Speaker 1: I remember a lady that I used to train Joe
Speaker 1: a long time ago, like twenty five years ago, and
Speaker 1: I got on well with this lady and she was lovely.
Speaker 1: She was a sweetheart, and I don't mind that and
Speaker 1: patronizing like love, but all the issues like completely, like
Speaker 1: body dysmorphia, everything revolved around and she knew it, like
Speaker 1: we spoke about it regularly, and and like she was
Speaker 1: quite irrational about her food and her exercise. She was
Speaker 1: quite obsessed, and she'd you know, she'd over not over eat,
Speaker 1: but she'd eat a bit of whatever cake and then
Speaker 1: she wouldn't eat the whole next day. And then you know,
Speaker 1: a lot of irrational, unhealthy relationship with her body and
Speaker 1: food and originally a very very serious eating disorder then
Speaker 1: eventually just disordered eating and all the stuff right, And
Speaker 1: we spoke about it, but I'd never met a daughter.
Speaker 1: And then I met her daughter, like after about a year,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, she's just handed down all her issues
Speaker 1: to her daughter. Her daughter was exactly. Her daughter was obsessed,
Speaker 1: she was insecure, she weighed herself fifteen times a day.
Speaker 1: She was just a younger version of the dysfunctionalma. And
Speaker 1: I remember thinking, Oh, she's unconsciously and unintentionally, I think
Speaker 1: built another her. And so I guess my question is
Speaker 1: all of us, me included. Of course, we've all got issues,
Speaker 1: and we also know that our children to an extent
Speaker 1: are a byproduct of not only us genetically, of course,
Speaker 1: but also socially, emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally. Do you ever think
Speaker 1: about handing down your issues to your kids? Do you? Like,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure that, Like, I don't know any parents
Speaker 1: that's got all their shit together. I don't know any
Speaker 1: human including me, do we? How do we not guarantee?
Speaker 1: But how do we do our best that we don't
Speaker 1: pass on our own negative traits and issues and behaviors?
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, no, inevitably we will because they watch us
Speaker 2: closely and they learn, they learn from us, and it
Speaker 2: helps if we're cognizant. I guess of what what our
Speaker 2: challenges are and our foibles and our you know, our
Speaker 2: habits and the things that we do. You know, I
Speaker 2: heard of someone who's who you know, that the dad
Speaker 2: drinks a lot of beer after work. And then you know,
Speaker 2: the little kids, a little toddler and they're like, well,
Speaker 2: can I get your beer from the Not the toddler,
Speaker 2: but you know, little kid, can I get your beer dad?
Speaker 2: You know, And and it's just like classic kind of
Speaker 2: this what this child is seeing is this is the pattern.
Speaker 2: And you know, I think about how I've been kind
Speaker 2: of shaped by my own mom and dad, particularly my mum,
Speaker 2: and she has an anxiety disorder, and I am constantly
Speaker 2: sort of thinking. And Peter will say to me, like,
Speaker 2: I'll give you an example from me. Right when I
Speaker 2: was brought up, I was not allowed to put my
Speaker 2: finger in the batter, you know, when we're baking cakes.
Speaker 2: I wasn't allowed to pinch food off, Like if there's
Speaker 2: roast potatoes on the baking tray, I was allowed to
Speaker 2: pinch food off the tray. I had to wait for
Speaker 2: things to be dished up. And I know it's nothing major,
Speaker 2: but now, like, I've got this thing about kids in
Speaker 2: the kit I mean, I bake with the kids, and
Speaker 2: the kids are cooking and stuff. But if somebody goes
Speaker 2: to put a finger in the batter, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: I have this visceral reaction because because for me, that
Speaker 2: was if that was something that I was really taught
Speaker 2: not to do. And so I react to that and
Speaker 2: and you know, and I have this I don't ever
Speaker 2: think about germs per se. I mean, I'm not like
Speaker 2: o c D about that. I've had my struggles with
Speaker 2: OCD in the past, but I do think about the
Speaker 2: fact that, oh my gosh, have they washed their hands
Speaker 2: all the things that came up for me when I
Speaker 2: was a kid. And Pete's like, and I'm like, sorry, guy,
Speaker 2: sorry guys, because I'll react and Pete will say, we
Speaker 2: don't want this to we don't want to create in
Speaker 2: the kids what has happened for you kind of thing.
Speaker 2: And it's again, it's low stakes. It's not a big deal,
Speaker 2: but it's that easy. Like I get this, and there's
Speaker 2: a name for it. I can't recall, you know, when
Speaker 2: metal on metal, how are you with, like, you know,
Speaker 2: if the the times on two forks get stuck together,
Speaker 2: like I'm literally having chills now even thinking about it,
Speaker 2: and I react and my daughter does too, And I
Speaker 2: think that that's just a learned thing. Had I not
Speaker 2: reacted every time that happened in the kitchen, she probably
Speaker 2: wouldn't I that, But I guess all we can do
Speaker 2: is kind of think, right, what is it about the
Speaker 2: way I operate that I would like to be different
Speaker 2: for my kids and to be open about it, Like
Speaker 2: I've talked a lot about my mental health, and I guess,
Speaker 2: you know, when these things are happening that example of
Speaker 2: like fingers in the batter because we bake a bit
Speaker 2: around here. I'm trying to make that change and almost
Speaker 2: invite it now so that I can get used to it.
Speaker 2: I can adapt, and you know other things, you know,
Speaker 2: like our lifestyle habits we can pass on which are
Speaker 2: absolutely fantastic, like exercise and alcohol. I've stopped drinking. I'm
Speaker 2: a non drinker now, and I think that that's been
Speaker 2: a lot of There's been a lot of conversations in
Speaker 2: our house about alcohol and food choices and protein and
Speaker 2: fruit and veggies and stuff. So it goes both ways.
Speaker 2: Yes we pass stuff on. Yes we can't help it
Speaker 2: pass on habits and choices and behaviors in our kids.
Speaker 2: But we can be conscious about it for much of it,
Speaker 2: and where we are struggling with things, we can just
Speaker 2: talk about it and sort of say, hey, I don't
Speaker 2: want this for you. You know, I had to make
Speaker 2: my bed. I had to make my bed, and you're
Speaker 2: not allowed to sit on my bed. If Mum vacuumed
Speaker 2: the shag pile carpet, you're not allowed to walk on it.
Speaker 2: She'd say, unless you learned to hover, you're not going
Speaker 2: in that room. And I would walk on the furniture.
Speaker 2: It was like everything had to be straight because she
Speaker 2: had to manage your own anxiety like that. And then
Speaker 2: the day Peter and I the first morning after making
Speaker 2: the bed and he sat on it. I was like, no,
Speaker 2: you can't sit on the bed. He's like, ah, I can,
Speaker 2: and watch me and I'm like no, but I've just
Speaker 2: made it and he's like and he's like, well, that's
Speaker 2: not the way I was brought up. And feel free
Speaker 2: to straighten it up again when I get up sitting
Speaker 2: on it to put on my socks and then he'd
Speaker 2: have you want to invite people around to our new home,
Speaker 2: and I'll be like, but I haven't cleaned, but I
Speaker 2: haven't planned it. But he goes, it's okay, it's okay
Speaker 2: if you're not comfortable go out with your mates on
Speaker 2: Saturday night, don't don't stress about it. But he kind
Speaker 2: of helped me to learn to relax. So I've got
Speaker 2: a lot of issues, clearly, but.
Speaker 1: I think it's like, yeah, but if you're not comfortable,
Speaker 1: that's okay. Be uncomfortable, and over time that will change.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm thinking as you're talking, you know, so
Speaker 1: much of this show and your show and shows like
Speaker 1: this are about learning, growing, evolving. Yeah, yeah, it's such
Speaker 1: a huge part Also of growing and evolving is actually
Speaker 1: about unlearning, Like what are the behaviors I need to unlearn?
Speaker 1: What's the thinking I need to unlearn? What are my
Speaker 1: beliefs that I need to put under a spotlight and
Speaker 1: go do they serve me or sabotage me? Because you know,
Speaker 1: like when that is the lens through which you view
Speaker 1: the world, that you can't sit on the bed lens
Speaker 1: and get the fuck off, what are you doing? Right?
Speaker 1: That's a problematic lens because that makes you know one
Speaker 1: part of life hard and then you go, hang on, Okay,
Speaker 1: what's the worst that can happen? Well, the bed's a
Speaker 1: bit messy, Okay is that acceptable? I guess, so, all right,
Speaker 1: well fuck that off. That doesn't serve me because not
Speaker 1: only is not sitting on the bed is not only
Speaker 1: is sitting on the bed not a problem, but it's
Speaker 1: also not a reason for internal chaos or anxiety, and
Speaker 1: it's also not a reason to potentially have a problem
Speaker 1: with your partner. And you're like, but I think the
Speaker 1: thing is, doctor Jodi, is that this stuff is so
Speaker 1: ingrained that we don't have that level of in the
Speaker 1: moment awareness. And it's only when you step back now,
Speaker 1: like you and me, where you're not you're not doing
Speaker 1: that anymore. You're not in the bedroom, he's not sitting
Speaker 1: on the bed. But we're objectively analyzing a thing, or
Speaker 1: as objective as we can be looking through the Craig
Speaker 1: and Jody windows of course, but yeah, it's like this
Speaker 1: is I guess for me, the beauty of self awareness
Speaker 1: is just trying to not judge, not criticize, not loathe,
Speaker 1: not self loathe, but just go ah, why am I like,
Speaker 1: why do I react that way? Why am I doing this?
Speaker 1: Why am I saying this? Where is this coming from?
Speaker 1: Does this way that I think does it actually help?
Speaker 1: Does it serve me? Is it a positive? And if
Speaker 1: it doesn't serve me? Good? So tick, let's recognize that.
Speaker 1: Now what can I do to maybe reverse that or
Speaker 1: undo that?
Speaker 2: It's and it takes time. And like you say that
Speaker 2: awareness comes with mindful mode moments and not just kind
Speaker 2: of sleepwalking through life, which is so easy to do this,
Speaker 2: you know, this busyness. I'm very conscious of how we
Speaker 2: can just go through the day just kind of getting
Speaker 2: stuff done. And that was me yesterday. And I stop
Speaker 2: and think now that we're having this conversation about like
Speaker 2: how much I've learned through my relationship with Peter and
Speaker 2: how he's very you know, anxiety is not really kind
Speaker 2: of something that he It's not something he struggles with obviously,
Speaker 2: like every human, he has his moments. Multi story car
Speaker 2: parks is one of those trigger that for him. But
Speaker 2: that the awareness is huge, and I think this idea
Speaker 2: that we can we can do things differently, and it
Speaker 2: is uncomfortable. It is so uncomfortable, And there was a
Speaker 2: period of time where I just decided I am just
Speaker 2: not going to make the bed at all. And there
Speaker 2: were months and I just got used to that. I
Speaker 2: just kind of taught myself. And it's saying it out
Speaker 2: loud sounds a bit pathetic because it's like, oh, like,
Speaker 2: but it was about control, and it was about order,
Speaker 2: and it was about and I think, and I don't
Speaker 2: just think. I know, And the science tells us when
Speaker 2: there is chaos around us, a mess, it does affect,
Speaker 2: especially when we're anxious. It does affect the way how
Speaker 2: you know, how clearly we can think, how settled we
Speaker 2: are into the things that are you know, doing the
Speaker 2: work that we need to do. And so many of
Speaker 2: us need to kind of organize our space, to organize
Speaker 2: our minds. But I just unlearned those habits and that
Speaker 2: awareness to sort of say, how is this serving me?
Speaker 2: How is this serving me? And why? And I had
Speaker 2: a really interesting conversation on my podcast about Christmas stress
Speaker 2: and family dynamics and my guess, Mariva Carcass. She said
Speaker 2: it was a really interesting and talking about perspective and
Speaker 2: the lens through which we're looking at things. She shared
Speaker 2: this example about Christmas, about you know, one person, let's
Speaker 2: just say that the husband has wants to spend a
Speaker 2: lot of money. Apparently hams can be very expensive one vegetarians,
Speaker 2: we don't need ham on Christmas Day, but you know,
Speaker 2: once the most beautiful ham, the really expensive ham, the
Speaker 2: huge piece of ham. The table has to be set
Speaker 2: a certain way, certain foods need to be included, things
Speaker 2: need to be just so. And then the partner's saying,
Speaker 2: but the ham's too much. You know, things are a
Speaker 2: bit tight. Why can't we just get the supermarket one
Speaker 2: or go with a roast couple of roast chooks this
Speaker 2: year instead? And that they ends up being tension and
Speaker 2: maybe even really significant arguments over over the ham. She's like,
Speaker 2: it's not about the ham. It comes back to what
Speaker 2: are our beliefs around Christmas Day? For example, what have
Speaker 2: we been raised with, what's important to us about the day.
Speaker 2: It's probably not about the ham. It might be about
Speaker 2: spoiling people. It might be about feeling like our Christmas
Speaker 2: will be less than in the eyes of other people
Speaker 2: that are coming if we don't kind of do things
Speaker 2: the way we've always done them. So it's not really
Speaker 2: about the thing we often think it's about. It can
Speaker 2: be about the things that are kind of come with
Speaker 2: us through our childhood and through all of our experiences
Speaker 2: that kind of culminate in an argument about the one
Speaker 2: hundred dollar ham versus the fifteen dollar one. It's not
Speaker 2: about the ham, and it just like I think about,
Speaker 2: I'm trying to bring that thinking to other things in
Speaker 2: my life, like what is this really about? And the
Speaker 2: question you ask, does it serve me? It's such a
Speaker 2: it's a question we can all ask, and hopefully with
Speaker 2: some time off over the coming weeks, we might all
Speaker 2: have some time to sort of think about what are
Speaker 2: we doing that's serving us and what are we doing
Speaker 2: that's not. And I'm not talking about news resolutions. I'm
Speaker 2: talking about long term kind of reflection opportunities and trying
Speaker 2: to make change over time that's going to serve us
Speaker 2: well and better in terms of our lifestyle and our
Speaker 2: health and our mental health as well.
Speaker 1: I think I'm always amazed at how adaptable and resilient
Speaker 1: and incredible people can be when they have to be right. So,
Speaker 1: my mum's best friend who's like my second mom, she's
Speaker 1: very unwell at the moment. Shout out. Her name's Ray
Speaker 1: shout out to Ray and she's very unwell, and there's
Speaker 1: just a lot of tough stuff going on at the moment,
Speaker 1: really tough stuff. But let me tell you she's got
Speaker 1: four daughters. Yeah, everyone's fucking amazing. Like, no one's complaining,
Speaker 1: no one's no one's sinking, everyone's just stepping up. Everyone's
Speaker 1: just you know, it's like, sometimes we can turn a
Speaker 1: one out of ten minor problem into an fifteen out
Speaker 1: of ten catastrophe, and then other times, when we really
Speaker 1: are confronted with something incredibly difficult, there's something in us
Speaker 1: that goes, well, I can't have a breakdown because all
Speaker 1: this stuff needs to get done. I need to solve
Speaker 1: this problem. I need to be this person I don't have,
Speaker 1: Like if I'm not resilient now shit won't happen. So
Speaker 1: I need to be. And so I have this awareness
Speaker 1: that while you know, faced with the one out of
Speaker 1: ten minor issue, that really isn't a problem, but we
Speaker 1: can create a problem, like we can fucking invent problems
Speaker 1: where none exist. Yet what is encouraging for me is,
Speaker 1: you know, not everyone. Of course, some people do fall
Speaker 1: apart understandably, no judgment, that's just what happens. But also
Speaker 1: at the same time, you know, average people with respect
Speaker 1: in inverted commas, I'm an average person. I'm not special.
Speaker 1: Average or typical or normal people can do fucking incredibly atypical, heroic,
Speaker 1: incredible things when they just have to. So I find that, Yeah, that,
Speaker 1: and it's interesting. And it's like, then you're having a
Speaker 1: meltdown or you were at one stage over the fucking bed, right,
Speaker 1: yet get put in something which doesn't even compare something
Speaker 1: horrible and terrible and potentially life threatening. I have no
Speaker 1: doubt that you would just step up and do what
Speaker 1: needed to be done, and you wouldn't say I'm too
Speaker 1: anxious to deal with this. You just fucking deal with it. Yea.
Speaker 1: And I think this, like this awareness of how much
Speaker 1: capacity we have, like how much like peoples not misrepresent
Speaker 1: misunderstand me, like so many people think, but you're so smart,
Speaker 1: you're so you're so fuck so talented. You just I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not, No, I'm not like I'm I'm I struggled
Speaker 1: at school, I struggled socially, socially, I struggled with my
Speaker 1: body and my health. The fucking nothing was easy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, my first degree I did at thirty six,
Speaker 1: and I was terrified for the first six months. I
Speaker 1: started my PhD at fifty six, also terrified, Still terrified. Right,
Speaker 1: none of this is easy or painless. Like the only
Speaker 1: thing that I'm pretty good at and comfortable with is
Speaker 1: what we're doing right now, which is just chatting to humans.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but all of the other stuff, you know.
Speaker 1: But my point is this, we can do incredible shit
Speaker 1: when we don't let ourselves get in the way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when we don't let our programming and conditioning and fear
Speaker 1: and stories and internal bullshit. Like I so many people
Speaker 1: I meet, their genetics are not the problem, Their potential
Speaker 1: not the problem. Their brain is not the problem in
Speaker 1: terms of their IQ, their intellect, their resources. It's like
Speaker 1: all their thinking, like they're thinking is basically a psychological
Speaker 1: and emotional prison. And then they wake up and they're fifty.
Speaker 2: I know, I know, I know. I'm thinking a lot
Speaker 2: about this at fifty myself, and thinking about and yeah,
Speaker 2: thinking about the fact that time is just passing by
Speaker 2: so fast, and if you're it just pains me that people,
Speaker 2: so many people will wake up when they're fifty, think
Speaker 2: about something now and then blink and they're sixty and
Speaker 2: have so much regret. I was having a chat with
Speaker 2: my friend Sale a few days ago, and we were
Speaker 2: just talking about what if I was giveing a you
Speaker 2: to live, What would be really important for me to
Speaker 2: get done? What would I want to not die having
Speaker 2: not done? That's too many negatives? What do I want
Speaker 2: to do before I die? And I got thinking about
Speaker 2: this a lot, because I, like you said, about stepping up,
Speaker 2: we are going to try not to get upset. But
Speaker 2: I lost my dear aunt recently, twenty seventh of October.
Speaker 2: She passed away and it was a shock. She had
Speaker 2: a stroke. She had that thunderclap headache. I hadn't heard
Speaker 2: of that before, but she had a massive stroke. And
Speaker 2: like you say about stepping up, like her family's all
Speaker 2: around the world for us, She's one of seven kids.
Speaker 2: Mum and I are the closest, and my other Arnie,
Speaker 2: and we just like we were just like right. I
Speaker 2: left an event, actually, Craig, I was leaving an event
Speaker 2: Relate a Relate event for eighty nine point nine. The
Speaker 2: light and my phone rang at eleven o'clock. Driving home,
Speaker 2: I thought Mum's ringing to keep me company on the
Speaker 2: drive home. No Mum was ringing me to tell me
Speaker 2: the news, and so we basically in the middle of
Speaker 2: the night at the hospital at the Alfred, came home,
Speaker 2: I took the kids to school, back to the Alfred
Speaker 2: at the Alfred almost every day as you would be,
Speaker 2: and thankfully Annie Jenny regained consciousness. We had lots of
Speaker 2: chances to chat and everything, and unfortunately, you know, it
Speaker 2: was just too severe a stroke. But it certainly speaks
Speaker 2: to your point of the stepping up that happens when
Speaker 2: the shit hits the fan is phenomenal and everybody did it.
Speaker 2: But also this idea that this mortality. We don't talk
Speaker 2: about death enough. We don't. We don't want to think
Speaker 2: about it. It's going to happen for all of us,
Speaker 2: don't We don't want to really kind of spend too
Speaker 2: much time in that space because it's it's worrying, it's frightening,
Speaker 2: and I want to come back. I want you. I
Speaker 2: want to talk about a question you asked me last
Speaker 2: time that I didn't answer, and I come up with
Speaker 2: an answer about what do I need to do that
Speaker 2: takes courage and it's related to this. I want to
Speaker 2: talk about that before we finish. But sal and I
Speaker 2: were talking about what do we want to do, what
Speaker 2: kind of is really important for us? And I think
Speaker 2: we don't know how much toimey. If we keep putting
Speaker 2: it off, it's never going to feel easier. Like you say,
Speaker 2: it's just about kind of making a start, and it's
Speaker 2: the consistency. It's the consistency of stepping forward each day.
Speaker 2: Like you like you. You're so inspiring because of the fact,
Speaker 2: I mean, I think you're an incredible human and that
Speaker 2: the things that you've achieved are phenomenal. Like you say,
Speaker 2: it hasn't come easy. It's just this is something that's important.
Speaker 2: I'm going to do it, and I'm going to put
Speaker 2: one foot in in front of the other and just
Speaker 2: keep going. And it's amazing. We underestimate what we can
Speaker 2: do in twelve months of just putting one foot in
Speaker 2: front of the other. I think it's so important. And
Speaker 2: if you're listening and you're thinking of the things that
Speaker 2: you wanted to do over the last ten years, you
Speaker 2: haven't done it. Please don't wait for it to feel easier,
Speaker 2: or to be less anxious, or to you know, to
Speaker 2: have someone guide you. Just buddy start, because eventually like
Speaker 2: for my gorgeous anti Jen. I've been on the phone
Speaker 2: with a on the Sunday booking tickets for an event
Speaker 2: that we're going to go to us. You know, we
Speaker 2: spent a lot of time together and Tuesday she had
Speaker 2: this stroke. She never left the hospital. You just don't
Speaker 2: know what's going to happen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so true. God bless her and Arnie Jenny.
Speaker 1: A few weeks ago. This sounds unrelated, but just in
Speaker 1: terms of just just going I will just do it.
Speaker 1: Like I did a little chat about this on the show,
Speaker 1: but I don't know if you saw it, but my
Speaker 1: phone told me about three weeks ago Joe basically that
Speaker 1: I'm fat and lazy like it. It gave me alert
Speaker 1: and I saw that, yeah, basically get off your ass, right,
Speaker 1: And I looked at it, and generally I used to
Speaker 1: walk like I guess somewhere between five and ten thousand
Speaker 1: seven six, but for quite a long time because I
Speaker 1: live at this fucking desk, you know, researching, studying, writing, recording,
Speaker 1: doing business doing, coaching, doing workshops at this desk because
Speaker 1: I do so much shit online, right, but it doesn't
Speaker 1: mean I can't Anyway, I looked at that and I
Speaker 1: was averaging something like four and a half thousands. I'm like,
Speaker 1: am I a plant? Am I A yuck? Am I
Speaker 1: A fuck? Am I a rose bush? And I went,
Speaker 1: that's it, that's it. And I just I went, that's it.
Speaker 1: So from now I've got to do minimum of ten. Right,
Speaker 1: So in the last three weeks, I've averaged just under
Speaker 1: fifteen thousand. So and I'm not saying, am I an
Speaker 1: I good? Because anyone can do that, right. It is
Speaker 1: just literally it's not like, oh yeah, but you're genetically
Speaker 1: equipped to no. And I'm sixty one, like me walking
Speaker 1: fifteen thousand steps a day and I'm pretty much a bodybuilder.
Speaker 1: I'm not a cardio king, right, So but here's my point.
Speaker 1: Something in my brain went, you need to change, and
Speaker 1: not one day and not soon, and not when you're motivated,
Speaker 1: and not when summer comes and not you need to
Speaker 1: fucking change today. And so I just went, okay, and
Speaker 1: now like this morning, it's so we're recording this, it's
Speaker 1: ten twenty eight. I would say I've probably done seven
Speaker 1: thousand already and I'll do today at least fifteen. And
Speaker 1: it's not oh, You're terrific, it's just like, no, this matters,
Speaker 1: and I need to do this. And yes it's inconvenient
Speaker 1: because I've got lots of other shits, but I need
Speaker 1: to figure out a way. So I'm, as I said
Speaker 1: in the thing, I'm now coaching people while I'm walking.
Speaker 1: Oh love it. So all of the zoom coaching that
Speaker 1: I do, I'm now doing on WhatsApp video and walking.
Speaker 1: So you know, obviously I'm not walking in high traffic
Speaker 1: areas and I'm not going to get run over. But
Speaker 1: here's my point, Like, it is not about you know,
Speaker 1: if you spend your life waiting for better genetics or
Speaker 1: more time, or the perfect situation or the perfect conditions
Speaker 1: or the perfect environment. For most people, it will not happen.
Speaker 1: But as you know, as we said a minute ago,
Speaker 1: when the shit hits the fan and there is like
Speaker 1: it has to be now. There is no other time.
Speaker 1: There's only now. Because the shit's happening now, you can't
Speaker 1: wait for more talent or more courage or more time.
Speaker 1: Like you're just fucking doing it now, will you just
Speaker 1: do it? And you do it because there's part of
Speaker 1: your brain that goes, well, Craig, this isn't optional. Now,
Speaker 1: imagine if every listener, that's underwalking just as a thought experiment.
Speaker 1: Like people when I need to double my steps too, Well,
Speaker 1: imagine if in your mind you truly believe that there
Speaker 1: was no option, and so from tomorrow you had to
Speaker 1: double your steps and you had to find a way,
Speaker 1: like there was no other choice. Well, we just don't
Speaker 1: find a way. We just all find a way. But
Speaker 1: the truth is we don't have to. We don't have
Speaker 1: to be courageous, we don't have to walk more, we
Speaker 1: don't have to make a decision, we don't have to
Speaker 1: change our diet today. We don't have to conf aren't
Speaker 1: that thing? We don't have to And this is the
Speaker 1: problem because the thing that we need to do is
Speaker 1: not the thing we want to do, and the thing
Speaker 1: that creates change is generally, as everyone fucking knows, I
Speaker 1: beg But there's no other truth that it's hard, it's uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: it's inconvenient. And so while we consciously understand that, we
Speaker 1: subconsciously wait for the perfect conditions and then boom we're fifty,
Speaker 1: we do.
Speaker 2: And honestly, my brother's arriving from London today. I'm so excited, Craig.
Speaker 2: He's going to stay here for five weeks and I
Speaker 2: just adore him and really look up to him, and
Speaker 2: I'll never forget this is pre kids hanging out washing
Speaker 2: outside here at home, Like I've got this picture in
Speaker 2: my mind because it was such a pivotal moment. And
Speaker 2: I when I started studying, I've done my PhD and everything,
Speaker 2: and I just started becoming really interested in psychology and
Speaker 2: behavioral change and positive psychology and happiness science and all that.
Speaker 2: And I really wanted to contact the co owner of
Speaker 2: the Hot Springs Peninsula Hot Springs, Charles Davidson, because I've
Speaker 2: been to a breakfast networking event to hear him speak,
Speaker 2: and he said, if you've got something that you want
Speaker 2: to achieve, accomplished, to build, create, you've got to tell people.
Speaker 2: Because when you tell people, people might go, I know
Speaker 2: someone you should talk to, or or they might just
Speaker 2: support you. But best case scenarios, they might make a
Speaker 2: connection or And I said to Adam, I want to
Speaker 2: I want to create this happiness retreat. I want to
Speaker 2: call it the Happiness Retreat. I want to deliver it
Speaker 2: at the Hot Springs. And I want to ask because
Speaker 2: because Charles said, if you want to do something to
Speaker 2: tell someone, I'm like, I want to tell him this
Speaker 2: is what I want to do, and I'm pretty much thinking,
Speaker 2: how could he say no? Because he's the one that
Speaker 2: gave that advice, you know. Anyway, Adam said to me
Speaker 2: when I was I said, I'm just I feel so
Speaker 2: anxious about it. And he said, having courage does not
Speaker 2: mean you are not frightened about what you're about to do.
Speaker 2: He said, that is not what courage is. It is
Speaker 2: knowing how terrified you are of doing something and doing
Speaker 2: it anyway. I mean, it's not a new quote, it's
Speaker 2: not new advice. But it was in that moment that
Speaker 2: I realized that I'd been waiting. I had been waiting,
Speaker 2: and I picked up the darn phone and lo and behold,
Speaker 2: he said, I'd love to meet for a coffee. Long
Speaker 2: story short. Ten years later, I did the Happiness Retreat,
Speaker 2: I did other public facing things. Somebody recommended me because
Speaker 2: of my work. Eventually I ended up writing a book
Speaker 2: with the person I did the next lot of work with.
Speaker 2: Now I've got two books and my own business, and
Speaker 2: I'm just had I not made that phone call, had
Speaker 2: I not made that step, all of these other steps
Speaker 2: which have been haven't been easy. You know, I might
Speaker 2: be still sitting around. I might be outside today pecking
Speaker 2: out the washing, thinking, gee, I really like to make
Speaker 2: this phone call, you know, and all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: ten years later, here I am because of that phone
Speaker 2: call that I made, and so yeah, it's you know.
Speaker 1: It's great. I think also in the middle of your
Speaker 1: shitty self esteem and your shitty self doubt, and you go, okay, well,
Speaker 1: I'll make a phone call anyway, and maybe it won't work,
Speaker 1: and if it doesn't work, that's okay. And if it
Speaker 1: does work, boom. And if it doesn't work, I'll try
Speaker 1: something else. And if that doesn't work, I'll try something else.
Speaker 1: And if people reject me, that's cool. Some people will
Speaker 1: love me. And if I fall down, that's cool. I'll
Speaker 1: get up. And if I have a bad day, that's cool.
Speaker 1: I'll have a good day one day. Like this is
Speaker 1: the journey. This is the journey is navigating bullshit, you know,
Speaker 1: navigating mayhem and mess and or most of the things
Speaker 1: on planet Craig that impact me or intersect with me,
Speaker 1: or influence me or in my orbit, most of them
Speaker 1: I can't control most yeah, yeah, So what I do
Speaker 1: is I control the things I can and I adapt
Speaker 1: around the things that I can't and I ask good
Speaker 1: questions and I try to be a good human. You know,
Speaker 1: but this is you know, you're not going to get
Speaker 1: more talent. You can get more skill and more understanding
Speaker 1: and awareness. You're not going to get more hours in
Speaker 1: a day. You're not going to get better genetics. You're
Speaker 1: not going to wind back the clock. You're not going
Speaker 1: to be forty in five years. So we go, all right, well,
Speaker 1: these are nones, these are certainties. So with all of
Speaker 1: that in mind, what's possible? You know, what can you do?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: What can can you? Can you go for walk today? Yes?
Speaker 1: Could you? Could you do some push ups against the
Speaker 1: kitchen bench? Like two? Could you join a gym and
Speaker 1: sit on an exercise bike? Could you afford two dollars
Speaker 1: fifty a day? Because that's pretty much what could you
Speaker 1: do that? Well? Yeah? Cool? Could you? Could you make
Speaker 1: a phone call and apologize or ask a question? Or
Speaker 1: could you enroll in a SERP three or two or
Speaker 1: one in something? Could you read a book? Could you
Speaker 1: like the answer? There will be a question that the
Speaker 1: answer is yes, and you go, fuck, well done, let's
Speaker 1: do that. Because it's not even about doing the course
Speaker 1: or or building the business. It's about who you become
Speaker 1: when you're doing the course. It's about who you become
Speaker 1: when you write the book, when you start the well
Speaker 1: Hello Anxiety podcast. It's about who you become on the journey.
Speaker 1: You know. For me, the new project has been an
Speaker 1: absolute blessing and a gift. And I you know, I'm
Speaker 1: super fortunate that I'm partnered with Nova, your partner with
Speaker 1: Life FM. We're both, you know, super lucky, and we've
Speaker 1: both worked hard though. But for me, truly, the joy
Speaker 1: is the people I meet. The joy is this conversation.
Speaker 1: The joy is meeting people from all over that I
Speaker 1: would never even get an appointment with. I wouldn't even
Speaker 1: get an appointment with half of the people that I
Speaker 1: talked to, if not, if not for this thing, that
Speaker 1: this vehicle that just opens doors, this conduit to fucking
Speaker 1: learning and growth. And you know, but even with this,
Speaker 1: it's like, well, nobody knocked on the door and said, Craig,
Speaker 1: here's a successful show.
Speaker 2: No, this is your fifth podcast, isn't it, Yes, it's
Speaker 2: your fifth?
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Even last year I started a new show
Speaker 1: called Life which I did two hundred daily episodes straight
Speaker 1: and it was. It was good. But I was doing
Speaker 1: fourteen podcasts a week, and I'm like, okay, and you
Speaker 1: get to the point where it was sponsored, it was
Speaker 1: on the Nova platform. It was good and it was
Speaker 1: going better than the average podcast. But I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is okay. I learned something. What I learned is
Speaker 1: I do not want to do fourteen episodes a week.
Speaker 1: I can, I can, I don't want to. Hey, we're
Speaker 1: going to wind up, but tell people so Jody's podcast
Speaker 1: is brilliant. She's brilliance called well, hello anxiety. What else
Speaker 1: do you want to?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: You wanted to answer a question? All right?
Speaker 2: Have you got last time? Thank you last time? When
Speaker 2: you asked me what it is in the coming months
Speaker 2: that I need to find courage for? And I decided
Speaker 2: that I couldn't answer the question, probably in that I
Speaker 2: probably needed to do something that was going to be
Speaker 2: hard because I couldn't come up. Nothing came to mind
Speaker 2: until we got off the call, and I thought, actually,
Speaker 2: there is something very big that I need to find
Speaker 2: courage for and it's taking a bit of courage for
Speaker 2: me to share it. And I've thought about whether or
Speaker 2: not I'll tell you this, and of course I am.
Speaker 2: I I bow cancer runs in my family, and I'm
Speaker 2: quite happy. Helped saying I'm quite healthy. And while I
Speaker 2: don't have a diagnosis a bow cancer, that's not where
Speaker 2: I'm going, but it runs in my family. And so
Speaker 2: I've been having preventative checks colonoscopies. Joy oh, Joy. And
Speaker 2: the last one I had, Craig was six months ago,
Speaker 2: and I've just had another one and it was really
Speaker 2: good news. But the last one I had, I got
Speaker 2: diagnosed with this syndrome that trooples my risk of bow cancer. Wow.
Speaker 2: And it was a long colonoscopy. Came out of it
Speaker 2: feeling terrible physically, very frightened emotionally getting the news that
Speaker 2: you've got this syndrome. It's genetic. There's nothing you can
Speaker 2: do about it, like literally diet, exercise, you know. And
Speaker 2: one of the things that in my follow up appointment
Speaker 2: with my gastorinrologist, he said, I want to refer you
Speaker 2: to familial cancer genetic screening, And basically what that means
Speaker 2: is they do a blood test and determine what cancers
Speaker 2: you're at risk of.
Speaker 1: And I.
Speaker 2: Was terrified by that idea because I thought, gosh, and
Speaker 2: that was a thing. When I got off the call,
Speaker 2: I sort of thought, geez, actually, that is something I'm
Speaker 2: really struggling with at the moment. Do I want to know?
Speaker 2: Do I want to know? Yes, I want to know. Yes,
Speaker 2: I should know. Do I want to know? That's terrifying me. Anyway,
Speaker 2: I had the conversation the consult with the through Monash,
Speaker 2: through the Monash Hospital, and she said, it it's not
Speaker 2: all cancers, it's bow cancers, and we determine what you're
Speaker 2: at risk of to kind of help me know how
Speaker 2: frequently I need to have my colonoscopies for the rest
Speaker 2: of my life. And I said yes to that. I yes,
Speaker 2: I definitely want to know. It's you know, I don't
Speaker 2: know what the news is going to be, but I
Speaker 2: can't change the outcome. I cannot control what my genetics are,
Speaker 2: but learning about them can help me control other things.
Speaker 2: And it's good for my kids to know, et cetera,
Speaker 2: et cetera. And so I wanted to share with you.
Speaker 2: I wanted to share that with you because because I
Speaker 2: want people listening to know that, you know, this idea
Speaker 2: that our coming back to mortality coming back to you know,
Speaker 2: like what happened with Annie Jenny, you know obviously, and
Speaker 2: I know Ray's not well. You've got somebody very specially
Speaker 2: in your life, and I know you know your dad's
Speaker 2: had a heart attack, you know, sort of in the
Speaker 2: in the recent past. And you know our aging parents
Speaker 2: that you know, they're giving us lots lots of sleepless
Speaker 2: nights and things. And the reason I wanted to share
Speaker 2: this with you is because having these tests, having these screenings,
Speaker 2: you know, for our skin and I know I've spoken
Speaker 2: about this before, but for our bowhouth. You know, the
Speaker 2: fifty year olds get you get it literally on your
Speaker 2: birthday note to say we're sending you a bower screening test.
Speaker 2: I know of someone who had that sitting around for
Speaker 2: eighteen months and now has stage four bow cancer and
Speaker 2: could have done something about it. And I guess this
Speaker 2: is kind of another public service announcement for you know,
Speaker 2: get your boobs checked, ladies, get your bows checked, if
Speaker 2: you you know, get your colonoscopies, get your skin checks.
Speaker 2: It's frightening, it's anxiety provoking. Yes, they might find something.
Speaker 2: What if they find something. If they find something, you
Speaker 2: can do something about it. Bow cancer doesn't occur overnight.
Speaker 2: It takes years for polyps to turn into bow cancer
Speaker 2: if you find if they find polyps, they can take
Speaker 2: them out. Not knowing is not going to change the situation.
Speaker 2: And you know, I'm in a good position. I've had
Speaker 2: my next one just a week ago, and the gastor
Speaker 2: in trologist said, don't need to see you for a year,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, yes, that is awesome. But I'm in
Speaker 2: a more empowered position. And so it wasn't that I
Speaker 2: thought of this last time and didn't have the courage
Speaker 2: to say. And I'm not embarrassed at all about it.
Speaker 2: It's just a part of my lot and at least
Speaker 2: me going through this and sharing about it, which I
Speaker 2: like to be really authentic, can hopefully make a difference
Speaker 2: for other people. Because you know, something's going to catch
Speaker 2: up with this inevitably. Why don't we see what we
Speaker 2: can catch early and do something about so that we
Speaker 2: give ourselves more time, more and more health over the
Speaker 2: years to come. So, yeah, I wanted to answer that
Speaker 2: question for you this time because I couldn't answer it
Speaker 2: in a really important way last time.
Speaker 1: Well good answer and good answer, but great community servicenouncement
Speaker 1: as well. And it's it's true it's it's we do
Speaker 1: have a real tendency to be reactive, not proactive. And
Speaker 1: the thing is, you know, as the doc said, it's
Speaker 1: it's when we catch something in its infancy, the chances
Speaker 1: of surviving and thriving are exponentially greater. Y you know.
Speaker 1: And it's like, yeah, it's if you've got something, you've
Speaker 1: got it, not knowing about it does not help. It's
Speaker 1: like not knowing won't make it go away. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: even though you don't want anything, and there's let's hope
Speaker 1: that all of you listening, there's there's nothing that comes
Speaker 1: up bad when you go to get whatever done, and
Speaker 1: it probably will be good for most, if not all,
Speaker 1: of you. But on the off chance I'm with you,
Speaker 1: I get. I mean, I think I've probably know I
Speaker 1: had about six things cut off my skin recently. I've
Speaker 1: had over thirty skin cancers, basil cell carcinomas, squamous sells,
Speaker 1: a whole lot of different things. At fourteen stitches in
Speaker 1: my forehead or eleven or twelve like recently, you know,
Speaker 1: it's like, but if I don't go and get tested
Speaker 1: and I don't get that shit cutout, that's that's gonna
Speaker 1: kill me. And so better. It's like scars are cool
Speaker 1: and the moment if you're a sixty year old dude, maybe,
Speaker 1: but we're going to go tell people how to connect,
Speaker 1: tell people how to find you and connect.
Speaker 2: Oh, doctor Jodi Richardson dot com, dot a you online,
Speaker 2: d jod I Richardson, Yeah, thank you, Craig. Honestly like, yeah, sorry.
Speaker 2: On my website you'll find my podcast and my speaking offerings.
Speaker 2: I've got more coming. I'm really excited about some new
Speaker 2: kind of presentations I've got the next year, which I
Speaker 2: won't reveal now. But yeah, I am just loving where
Speaker 2: things are at with my ability to support people and
Speaker 2: make a difference for them. And I'm getting so many
Speaker 2: lovely testimonials. So I created a testimonial's page, Craig, because
Speaker 2: I thought it'd be nice to share the lovely things
Speaker 2: people are saying. So but yeah, Instagram, follow me on
Speaker 2: Instagram if you want to sort of connect as well.
Speaker 2: And DM, if you go for a go for a
Speaker 2: scan because of this conversation, let me know, because yeah,
Speaker 2: it's I think, yeah, and talk to your family about
Speaker 2: that as well. Just encourage the people in your life
Speaker 2: to do the things that are uncomfortable but might make
Speaker 2: a difference. So yeah, Craig, it's just such a joy
Speaker 2: to talk to you. I always look forward to and
Speaker 2: I always sorry when these episodes come to an end.
Speaker 2: The first episode, the first recording, I was delighted when
Speaker 2: it came to an end, but now I feel different.
Speaker 1: Well, we love you, hey, and heads up, listeners. I've
Speaker 1: got two things I want to tell you. The first
Speaker 1: thing is, and I haven't shared this anywhere, but.
Speaker 2: I'm going to.
Speaker 1: This is a newsflash here. So next year, I've got
Speaker 1: about six to eight people that I love, that are brilliant,
Speaker 1: that have got great talent and always always bring something
Speaker 1: amazing to the show. And doctor Jody is one of those.
Speaker 1: And doctor Jody is going to be a regular next year,
Speaker 1: along with about We're probably all up going to have
Speaker 1: maybe ten regulars, of which Jody is on that team.
Speaker 1: Super gracious and kind and so you're going to hear
Speaker 1: a fair bit of her, and we're going to we're
Speaker 1: consciously going to every time next year pick a topic.
Speaker 1: None of them are going to be We're not going
Speaker 1: to do one topic the same. So however many we do,
Speaker 1: how many are we doing next year? Did I can't
Speaker 1: remember I haven't looked.
Speaker 2: I haven't looked at your calendar and booked any in yet,
Speaker 2: but you just tell me the number and I'll lock
Speaker 2: them in the schedule gide up.
Speaker 1: But we're going to explore a diverse range of topics
Speaker 1: and ideas and subject matter. The other thing I want
Speaker 1: to tell you everyone and doctor Jody, is on February three,
Speaker 1: I'm launching my next mentoring program. So last mentoring program
Speaker 1: finished about a month ago. We sold out, plus we oversold.
Speaker 1: I ended up taking more people than I intended, and
Speaker 1: we've had lots of inquiries and so the next one,
Speaker 1: if you want to go have look what it's about.
Speaker 1: I've actually which is very unme. I've created a ten
Speaker 1: week syllabus for the course because I'm normally just show up,
Speaker 1: but there's actually a ten week program. So you can
Speaker 1: go to my website, just going to Craig hupa dot
Speaker 1: net go into education, you can read about the program.
Speaker 1: You can read about each week what it's about, and
Speaker 1: you may or may not want to book in, but
Speaker 1: there it is. Jode, you might want to book in.
Speaker 1: You've got a lot of issues. I could probably give
Speaker 1: you a discount.
Speaker 2: Wilson, Thanks appreciate it, Thank you, see you next time.
Speaker 2: Thanks Sya.