1
00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:03,600
Speaker 1: Doctor Jody Richardson, Welcome back to the You Project.

2
00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:06,760
Speaker 2: Thank you, it's great.

3
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:08,039
Speaker 1: How are you, lovely?

4
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:09,600
Speaker 2: Do you know what?

5
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:13,960
Speaker 3: I'm actually pretty done good. I'm pretty good. I am

6
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:14,960
Speaker 3: flat out.

7
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:16,280
Speaker 2: I've got a million things to do.

8
00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:19,759
Speaker 3: I counted yesterday that I did sixteen trips in my car,

9
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:24,759
Speaker 3: sixteen one six and cracked it a bit at the

10
00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:27,360
Speaker 3: kids who were a little bit kind of like, you know,

11
00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,320
Speaker 3: woe is me about a couple of things, and I'm

12
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:32,040
Speaker 3: just like, no, woe is me today.

13
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,560
Speaker 2: But I'm getting things done.

14
00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:37,519
Speaker 3: I'm getting things ticked off and still managing to maintain

15
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,120
Speaker 3: a pretty good sense of humor. And I'm pretty optimistic

16
00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:42,680
Speaker 3: about kind of what's to come. So yeah, generally very

17
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:43,440
Speaker 3: good at the moment.

18
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:49,040
Speaker 1: What's the line or what's the juggling act between letting

19
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:52,200
Speaker 1: kids fall over and fuck up and experience a little

20
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:56,240
Speaker 1: bit of adversity and hardship and being the protective mum.

21
00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:57,400
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

22
00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:01,360
Speaker 3: As a general rule, parents have way too protective, way

23
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:05,280
Speaker 3: too protective. We don't let them do the things in

24
00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,600
Speaker 3: life that we were allowed to do when we were kids.

25
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,480
Speaker 3: But I say that it's very hard to step back.

26
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:16,000
Speaker 3: I'll give you a personal example, I'll give you a

27
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,679
Speaker 3: couple of examples. So our daughter recently got a detention

28
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,200
Speaker 3: at school for her uniform.

29
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,840
Speaker 2: She wore the wrong socks. She knows better, all right,

30
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,959
Speaker 2: and she was like, oh, Mom, can you get me

31
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,600
Speaker 2: out of it. I'm like, no, You're going to the detention.

32
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:31,960
Speaker 2: Like it's just a little thing.

33
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,880
Speaker 3: But I think we need to let them bear the

34
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:37,360
Speaker 3: consequences of their choices.

35
00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:38,920
Speaker 2: You know.

36
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,800
Speaker 3: Another situation with her at the moment is that she

37
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:43,680
Speaker 3: has a class that.

38
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,120
Speaker 2: She is not loving.

39
00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,400
Speaker 3: She's chosen some electives, all of them are great, bar

40
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:53,320
Speaker 3: one not loving it and is kind of angling to

41
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,360
Speaker 3: get out of it. And I kind of said to

42
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:58,720
Speaker 3: her yesterday, look, it's only going to get better, not worse.

43
00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:00,440
Speaker 2: I won't go into the details of why she's not

44
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:01,760
Speaker 2: loving it. She wouldn't love that.

45
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:07,040
Speaker 3: But I just need my kids to face the challenges

46
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:10,760
Speaker 3: as they come and learn that, you know what, it's

47
00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:13,519
Speaker 3: not the worst thing in the world. You can bear

48
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:16,200
Speaker 3: the consequences when they come, if they come, which are rare,

49
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:18,440
Speaker 3: and you can learn that you can get through it

50
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,320
Speaker 3: and get out to the other side. You know, Other

51
00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:23,919
Speaker 3: things like letting them on the train, like we live

52
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,240
Speaker 3: on the Mornington Peninsula. As you know, it's about an

53
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:29,239
Speaker 3: hour from the city. Big shopping center for us sort

54
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:33,360
Speaker 3: of the closest one would be Southland, And you know,

55
00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,720
Speaker 3: I do worry a little bit, but I need to

56
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,679
Speaker 3: let my kids on the bus on the train to

57
00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:42,119
Speaker 3: get out and do things and just let them experience

58
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,200
Speaker 3: the world, because, my goodness, they are going to experience

59
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,760
Speaker 3: it when they've got their licenses, and I want them

60
00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:51,640
Speaker 3: to have had some challenges, some mishaps, some experiences that

61
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:55,360
Speaker 3: they've had to kind of navigate before they are doing

62
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,000
Speaker 3: it all on their own and I don't have any

63
00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,400
Speaker 3: kind of influence over it. So it's bloody hard. It

64
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,640
Speaker 3: is hard to let go and let go of the rains,

65
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,600
Speaker 3: but it's it's the only way that we can set

66
00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:11,600
Speaker 3: them up to actually get good at solving problems and

67
00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:14,320
Speaker 3: getting themselves out of a jam and learning that if

68
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,480
Speaker 3: they do get in a really difficult situation and things

69
00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:20,960
Speaker 3: go south, that they can come out the other side

70
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:24,519
Speaker 3: with our support as well. So it's not easy. There's

71
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:28,280
Speaker 3: no one line. But in general, so many parents are

72
00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:32,359
Speaker 3: kind of doing too much, doing too much for them,

73
00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:36,640
Speaker 3: doing too much with them, and holding on pretty tight

74
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,240
Speaker 3: to the rains and I've done that too. No judgment here,

75
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,920
Speaker 3: but we've got to let go. We've got to let

76
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:42,840
Speaker 3: go a lot more than we are.

77
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:49,040
Speaker 1: Do you think there's a relationship between how overprotected parents

78
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:53,440
Speaker 1: are and the mental fragility of young people that we're seeing.

79
00:03:55,000 --> 00:04:00,640
Speaker 2: I do as you know, like anxiety is like kind

80
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:02,120
Speaker 2: of my wheelhouse.

81
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,640
Speaker 3: And you know, when we're anxious about something, like the

82
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,000
Speaker 3: first time you invited me to be on your podcast,

83
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:12,440
Speaker 3: I was so anxious, Like I was so anxious, but

84
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,960
Speaker 3: it didn't stop me. I said yes, and I never

85
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,400
Speaker 3: faulted on the fact that I really wanted to do it.

86
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:18,880
Speaker 2: But I don't know how.

87
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,279
Speaker 3: Many episodes we're into now, halps, But now I'm just

88
00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,719
Speaker 3: super excited to chat to you. I love chatting with you,

89
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:27,520
Speaker 3: and I love this community you've created and it's so

90
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,560
Speaker 3: much easier. And yes, there's a bit of anxiety because

91
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:34,839
Speaker 3: I care. But the only way we can learn that

92
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,120
Speaker 3: we can do the things that we want to do

93
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,599
Speaker 3: is by doing them, and when we're protected from doing them,

94
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:43,440
Speaker 3: Like you know, a friend of mine was telling me

95
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,480
Speaker 3: her daughter didn't want to go to school because it

96
00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:50,240
Speaker 3: was the day to present the class project so today

97
00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:52,960
Speaker 3: to present the post to the class, and everyone was

98
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,880
Speaker 3: pulling out and parents were like giving the kids permission

99
00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,039
Speaker 3: to not go so they didn't have to do this thing.

100
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,440
Speaker 2: And I'll tell you what, when you don't do it the.

101
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:04,960
Speaker 3: First time, it's so much harder the second. So yeah,

102
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:09,560
Speaker 3: not giving our kids freedom. And the other huge thing,

103
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:13,960
Speaker 3: one of the huge things is risk taking, Like we

104
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,520
Speaker 3: need our kids to fall off their bikes, to fall

105
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:20,919
Speaker 3: out of a tree, to make a poor decision about

106
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:25,080
Speaker 3: a public transport choice, to you know, get themselves in

107
00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:26,880
Speaker 3: a bit of a pickle in the shopping center.

108
00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:29,520
Speaker 2: I mean my daughter again, she was with her friend

109
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:30,600
Speaker 2: at Target.

110
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,760
Speaker 3: They had stuff from Kmart, they hadn't kept their receipt

111
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,120
Speaker 3: they'd paid for bags, they had receipts for the bags

112
00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:37,440
Speaker 3: they'd bought the fifteen cent.

113
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:38,360
Speaker 2: Bags from Camut.

114
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,400
Speaker 3: They got stopped at the door at Target because the

115
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:45,320
Speaker 3: woman thought that they'd been stealing and they absolutely hadn't

116
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:49,560
Speaker 3: and they couldn't prove that, and you know, like if

117
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:51,880
Speaker 3: we don't, if we don't give them I mean, not

118
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,400
Speaker 3: that that was risk taking as such, because they're good

119
00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:57,839
Speaker 3: kids and they know not to steal, but risk taking

120
00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:03,520
Speaker 3: and choices in in situations where there's no adults is

121
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,960
Speaker 3: so good for our kids, Like they learn to kind

122
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:09,840
Speaker 3: of judge things, they learn to negotiate, they learn to communicate.

123
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:11,800
Speaker 3: You look at a game, you let kids go for

124
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,040
Speaker 3: it and play a game like you think of backyard

125
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:18,200
Speaker 3: cricket like adults. If we just stand back, the kids

126
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:19,880
Speaker 3: will sort it out. They have to cooperate because they

127
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,320
Speaker 3: want other kids to play. They can't go smashing it

128
00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:24,840
Speaker 3: out of the park all the time because everyone will

129
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:25,520
Speaker 3: walk away.

130
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,440
Speaker 2: It's no fun if you're just dominating, you know.

131
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:30,720
Speaker 3: If you want to kind of like develop the rules

132
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:34,719
Speaker 3: around a game, you've got to communicate. And this free play,

133
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:40,680
Speaker 3: these opportunities, they are gold, and they are so they're

134
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:44,440
Speaker 3: so missing from life for our young kids. They spend

135
00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:46,479
Speaker 3: a lot of time inside, they spend a lot of

136
00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:51,280
Speaker 3: time online, and it's really hurting them. It's really hurting them.

137
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:57,280
Speaker 3: So yeah, direct correlation between being over protected outside and

138
00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:00,000
Speaker 3: as Jonathan Hate would say, who wrote the ani anxious General,

139
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,800
Speaker 3: underprotected online.

140
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,279
Speaker 1: So we know that. I love that. By the way,

141
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,359
Speaker 1: we know that, like we want our kids to be

142
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:12,400
Speaker 1: able to, as you said, solve problems because life is

143
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,400
Speaker 1: in many ways life is about our ability to solve

144
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:19,600
Speaker 1: problems and to navigate and negotiate uncertainty, unfamiliarity, discomfort, all

145
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:27,000
Speaker 1: those things. Should we be And we also know that

146
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:31,200
Speaker 1: resilience is important, but it seems like we're we're doing

147
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:37,040
Speaker 1: the opposite of helping them be resilient. Should parents or

148
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:43,640
Speaker 1: teachers or cares consciously help kids become resilient? Or is that?

149
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,000
Speaker 1: I mean, that's kind of what you're talking about. But

150
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:49,440
Speaker 1: do we need to be strategic about this? Like I'm

151
00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:53,440
Speaker 1: just thinking, how do you get strong? Like without you know,

152
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:57,480
Speaker 1: like I'm not accidentally going to build muscle or build strength,

153
00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:01,000
Speaker 1: or build power, or build muscular endurance, or build competence

154
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:04,800
Speaker 1: or skill unless I go to the in this analogy,

155
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,239
Speaker 1: unless I go to the gym and do the things

156
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:11,000
Speaker 1: that create that outcome. What about is there a conscious

157
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,640
Speaker 1: way to do this in terms of mental and emotional

158
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:18,960
Speaker 1: strength and flex cognitive flexibility and capacity that is.

159
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,320
Speaker 2: It's the best analogy.

160
00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:24,120
Speaker 3: And Lucy, one of our coaches at CrossFit, she said recently,

161
00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,280
Speaker 3: because we're talking about women being strong, right, we're talking

162
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,679
Speaker 3: and she said, when she sees a woman who's got

163
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,440
Speaker 3: like muscle, definition got some meat on her bones that

164
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,959
Speaker 3: you know she's worked for You know she has worked

165
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:39,280
Speaker 3: for it, she has earned that. You as have men

166
00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:40,560
Speaker 3: who are training.

167
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:43,360
Speaker 2: You can't buy muscle. You have to do the work.

168
00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:46,960
Speaker 3: And when it comes to resilience, you don't just you

169
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,120
Speaker 3: can't have it handed to you on a plate. You

170
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:53,520
Speaker 3: have to earn resilience. It's not built in a vacuum.

171
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:59,840
Speaker 3: But when it comes to kind of decisions around building resilience,

172
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,320
Speaker 3: and I think, I think as adults who are looking

173
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:08,360
Speaker 3: after or raising young people, gosh, I was just thinking,

174
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:10,120
Speaker 3: Peter and I haven't sat down had a good chat

175
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:13,760
Speaker 3: about just life and general and things because we're just

176
00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:18,000
Speaker 3: so busy. I think taking the time out with yourself

177
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:22,160
Speaker 3: or with your partner if you've got one, or with

178
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,760
Speaker 3: whoever else is kind of in the circle of you know,

179
00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:28,480
Speaker 3: a colleague, if you're a teacher, to sort of think about, right,

180
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,520
Speaker 3: what are we doing and what could we do differently

181
00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:34,679
Speaker 3: that would help these kids to have the experiences that

182
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,880
Speaker 3: they need, because that's really what it comes down to.

183
00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:43,040
Speaker 3: You only learn what you can cope with by coping

184
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:47,240
Speaker 3: with things. And when you know, I can speak from

185
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:50,440
Speaker 3: example like it is, it is gut wrenching. It is

186
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,000
Speaker 3: sick to the stomach when your kids are going through stuff,

187
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,760
Speaker 3: like when your kid comes home and says someone's being

188
00:09:56,000 --> 00:10:00,400
Speaker 3: and you know, watching them at school, like you know, somebody's.

189
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,480
Speaker 2: Giving them a really hard time on the.

190
00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:08,280
Speaker 3: Daily at school, or they have worked their butts off

191
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:11,760
Speaker 3: to try to achieve something and they miss the mark,

192
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:16,640
Speaker 3: or they just keep get rejected by someone if they're

193
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,839
Speaker 3: you know, reaching out, or they want to sort of

194
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,320
Speaker 3: connect with someone, or all of those things, all of

195
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,880
Speaker 3: those things that just break their hearts.

196
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:27,360
Speaker 2: And as a parent, you just feel sick. And so.

197
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:30,960
Speaker 3: I have to tell myself and I am not the

198
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,640
Speaker 3: perfect parent in you know, you know, I'm not trying

199
00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:37,559
Speaker 3: to say that I'm doing it all right. I'm navigating

200
00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:39,160
Speaker 3: it as I go. But I have a really, i

201
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:43,160
Speaker 3: guess a strong understanding in myself that as hard as

202
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:48,880
Speaker 3: it is to let them go through these challenges, I

203
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:53,720
Speaker 3: have to step back, not away, not stepping away. I'm

204
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:57,440
Speaker 3: not absent, but I am not trying to problem solve.

205
00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:02,600
Speaker 3: I am not trying to pave the path or what

206
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:04,640
Speaker 3: was that thing there was snowplow parents. I think there

207
00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:06,800
Speaker 3: for a while it were like zooming everything out of

208
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:10,880
Speaker 3: the way, you know, anticipating what could go wrong. I'm

209
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:15,040
Speaker 3: trying to remind myself when things go really pear shaped

210
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:20,120
Speaker 3: that it is an opportunity. And you know, at fourteen

211
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,440
Speaker 3: and sixteen, I can see it in the kids now

212
00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:28,160
Speaker 3: that that resilience muscle is growing. That resilience muscle is growing,

213
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,680
Speaker 3: and they've had enough experiences, you know, on their COVID kids,

214
00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:34,920
Speaker 3: like a lot of you know, teenagers their age, they

215
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:40,959
Speaker 3: went through the most difficult hard times, you know, and

216
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,160
Speaker 3: our son lacerated his liver.

217
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:44,240
Speaker 2: At the end of COVID.

218
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:47,360
Speaker 3: He had a bike accident and lacerated his liver and

219
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,680
Speaker 3: it was on the verge of needing surgery.

220
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:50,000
Speaker 2: It was.

221
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:56,320
Speaker 3: It was terrifying, and you know, obviously you can't problem

222
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,040
Speaker 3: solve your way out of that. You just get them

223
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:01,280
Speaker 3: through the emergency center and all of that. But you

224
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,240
Speaker 3: just have to kind of go right with every check

225
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:08,640
Speaker 3: mark on the board of shitty things that happen. It's

226
00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:11,480
Speaker 3: a learning experience and we don't like it, but we

227
00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:14,000
Speaker 3: have to tell ourselves when they learn that I can

228
00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:18,280
Speaker 3: go through a serious injury and come out the other side.

229
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,000
Speaker 3: I can go through a rejection and come out the

230
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:24,040
Speaker 3: other side, you know, he got a detention, and I

231
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,320
Speaker 3: was I high fived him that he got a detention.

232
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,040
Speaker 2: Because he's pretty straight laced.

233
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,360
Speaker 3: And he made a decision one day to leave the

234
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:36,400
Speaker 3: school grounds because his mates were all going to the

235
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,600
Speaker 3: local shops and he didn't want to be the one

236
00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:41,720
Speaker 3: wauser who was left behind. And I said, you know,

237
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,400
Speaker 3: I think that was actually a good decision because your

238
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:48,240
Speaker 3: social connections are everything when you're a teenager. And I'm like,

239
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,040
Speaker 3: just wear that detention. I think that you made the

240
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,720
Speaker 3: right decision under the circumstances.

241
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,040
Speaker 2: It's very safe. You know.

242
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:58,320
Speaker 3: Obviously as a former teacher, you know, I sort of

243
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,880
Speaker 3: think what if the school heard me saying this, Well,

244
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,880
Speaker 3: I for my kid, that was the right choice, and

245
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:07,240
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, go to the detention. As it turned

246
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,840
Speaker 3: out of his having his wisdom teeth out on the

247
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,360
Speaker 3: day of the detention, and they never followed up with it.

248
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:13,280
Speaker 2: He got out of it in the end.

249
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:19,200
Speaker 3: But just this resilience piece is really lacking. Kids are

250
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:24,640
Speaker 3: quite fragile. Many are struggling. And what I'm hearing from

251
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:29,920
Speaker 3: my friends who are fifty like me and are kind

252
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:34,880
Speaker 3: of managing generations that have kind of come through below us,

253
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:36,440
Speaker 3: behind us.

254
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:40,440
Speaker 2: That there's a lot of things that they're not very

255
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:41,200
Speaker 2: resilient about.

256
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:45,439
Speaker 3: And I'm generalizing, but it's our job now to let

257
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,120
Speaker 3: our kids go through the stuff they have to go

258
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,840
Speaker 3: through so that they can build that they will thank

259
00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:53,600
Speaker 3: us and we will be able to relax a lot

260
00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:56,440
Speaker 3: more when they're older, knowing that they've got what they need.

261
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,560
Speaker 3: They're well equipped to cope in this world that is

262
00:13:58,640 --> 00:13:59,920
Speaker 3: really hard sometimes.

263
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:05,760
Speaker 1: I remember a lady that I used to train Joe

264
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:09,680
Speaker 1: a long time ago, like twenty five years ago, and

265
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:11,640
Speaker 1: I got them well with this lady, and she was lovely.

266
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:15,640
Speaker 1: She was a sweetheart, and I don't mend that and

267
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:24,200
Speaker 1: patronizing love. But all the issues like completely, like body dysmorphia,

268
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:28,480
Speaker 1: everything revolved around and she knew it, like we spoke

269
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:35,240
Speaker 1: about it regularly, and and like she was quite irrational

270
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:38,520
Speaker 1: about her food and her exercise. She was quite obsessed,

271
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:43,080
Speaker 1: and she'd you know, she'd over not over eat, but

272
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,360
Speaker 1: she'd eat a bit of whatever cake and then she

273
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,000
Speaker 1: wouldn't eat the whole next day. And then you know,

274
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:52,480
Speaker 1: a lot of irrational, unhealthy relationship with her body and food.

275
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:59,840
Speaker 1: And originally a very very serious eating disorder then eventually

276
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,200
Speaker 1: just disordered eating and all the stuff right, And we

277
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:08,960
Speaker 1: spoke about it, but I'd never met a daughter. And

278
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:11,480
Speaker 1: then I met her daughter, like after about a year,

279
00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:14,880
Speaker 1: and I'm like, she's just handed down all her issues

280
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:19,760
Speaker 1: to her daughter. Her daughter was exactly. Her daughter was obsessed,

281
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:23,480
Speaker 1: she was insecure, she weighed herself fifteen times a day.

282
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:28,320
Speaker 1: She was just a younger version of the dysfunction normal.

283
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:36,000
Speaker 1: And I remember thinking, Oh, she's unconsciously and unintentionally, I

284
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:43,120
Speaker 1: think built another her. And so I guess my question

285
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,600
Speaker 1: is all of us, me included. Of course, we've all

286
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:49,560
Speaker 1: got issues, and we also know that our children to

287
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:53,760
Speaker 1: an extent are a byproduct of not only us genetically,

288
00:15:53,800 --> 00:16:00,320
Speaker 1: of course, but also socially, emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally. Do you

289
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:04,240
Speaker 1: ever think about handing down your issues to your kids?

290
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:07,920
Speaker 1: Do you? Like, I'm pretty sure that, Like, I don't

291
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,120
Speaker 1: know any parents that's got all their shit together. I

292
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:13,640
Speaker 1: don't know any human including me. How do we how

293
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,120
Speaker 1: do we not guarantee? But how do we do our

294
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:19,800
Speaker 1: best that we don't pass on our own negative traits

295
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,160
Speaker 1: and issues and behaviors?

296
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:27,080
Speaker 3: Oh gosh, no, inevitably we will because they watch us closely,

297
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:32,640
Speaker 3: and they learn, they learn from us, and it helps

298
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:36,480
Speaker 3: if we're cognizant. I guess of what what our challenges

299
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:40,840
Speaker 3: are and our foibles and our you know, our habits

300
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:46,320
Speaker 3: and the things that we do. You know, I heard

301
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:49,680
Speaker 3: of someone who's who you know that the dad drinks

302
00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:51,400
Speaker 3: a lot of beer after work. And then you know

303
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,600
Speaker 3: the little kids, a little toddler and they're like, well,

304
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,560
Speaker 3: can I get your beer from the Not the toddler,

305
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,880
Speaker 3: but you know, little kid, can I get your beer dad?

306
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:01,960
Speaker 2: You know, And and it's.

307
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:05,280
Speaker 3: Just like classic kind of this what this child is

308
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:08,959
Speaker 3: seeing is this is the pattern. And you know, I

309
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,119
Speaker 3: think about how I've been kind of shaped by my

310
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:14,760
Speaker 3: own mom and dad, particularly my mum, and she has

311
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:22,879
Speaker 3: an anxiety disorder, and I am constantly sort of thinking.

312
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,440
Speaker 3: And Peter will say to me, like, I'll give you

313
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,320
Speaker 3: an example for me. Right when I was brought up,

314
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,520
Speaker 3: I was not allowed to put my finger in the batter,

315
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,399
Speaker 3: you know, when we're baking cakes. I wasn't allowed to

316
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,320
Speaker 3: pinch food off, Like if there's roast potatoes on the

317
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,320
Speaker 3: baking tray, I was allowed to pinch food off the tray.

318
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,160
Speaker 3: I had to wait for things to be dished up,

319
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:44,360
Speaker 3: and I know it's something major, but now, like, I've

320
00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:47,120
Speaker 3: got this thing about kids in the kit I mean,

321
00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:48,880
Speaker 3: I bake with the kids, and the kids are cooking

322
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,040
Speaker 3: and stuff. But if somebody goes to put a finger

323
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,240
Speaker 3: in the batter, oh my gosh, I have this visceral

324
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:57,919
Speaker 3: reaction because because for me, that was if that was

325
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,680
Speaker 3: something that I was really taught not to do. And

326
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:05,199
Speaker 3: so I react to that, and and you know, and

327
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,440
Speaker 3: I have this. I don't have a think about germs

328
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:10,879
Speaker 3: per se. I mean, I'm not like OCD about that.

329
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,840
Speaker 3: I've had my struggles with OCD in the past, but

330
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,439
Speaker 3: I do think about the fact that, oh my gosh,

331
00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:20,120
Speaker 3: have they washed their hands all the things that came

332
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,200
Speaker 3: up for me when I was a kid.

333
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,040
Speaker 2: And Pete's like, and I'm like.

334
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:27,200
Speaker 3: Sorry, sorry, guys, because I'll react and Pete will say,

335
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,080
Speaker 3: we don't want this to we don't want to create

336
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:30,919
Speaker 3: in the kids.

337
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,240
Speaker 2: What what is happened for you? Kind of thing.

338
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,160
Speaker 3: And it's again, it's low stakes. It's not a big deal,

339
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:39,640
Speaker 3: but it's that easy. Like I get this, and there's

340
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,640
Speaker 3: a name for it. I can't recall, you know, when

341
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,280
Speaker 3: metal on metal how are you with like, you know,

342
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:47,639
Speaker 3: if the two the times on two forks get stuck together,

343
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,439
Speaker 3: like I'm literally having chills now even thinking about it,

344
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,280
Speaker 3: and I react and my daughter does too, And I

345
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:54,720
Speaker 3: think that that's just a learned thing.

346
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:56,879
Speaker 2: Had I not reacted every time.

347
00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:00,240
Speaker 3: That happened in the kitchen, she probably wouldn't I that,

348
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:04,280
Speaker 3: But I guess all we can do is kind of think, right,

349
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,320
Speaker 3: what is it about the way I operate that I

350
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:10,560
Speaker 3: would like to be different for my kids and to

351
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,320
Speaker 3: be open about it, Like I've talked a lot about

352
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:18,280
Speaker 3: my mental health, and I guess, you know, when these

353
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,200
Speaker 3: things are happening that example of like fingers in the

354
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,200
Speaker 3: batter because we bake a bit around here.

355
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,760
Speaker 2: I'm trying to.

356
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,800
Speaker 3: Make that change and almost invite it now so that

357
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,639
Speaker 3: I can get used to it. I can adapt, and

358
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,920
Speaker 3: you know other things, you know, like our lifestyle habits

359
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:42,920
Speaker 3: we can pass on which are absolutely fantastic, like exercise

360
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,440
Speaker 3: and alcohol.

361
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:45,760
Speaker 2: I've stopped drinking.

362
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:49,480
Speaker 3: I'm a non drinker now, and I think that that's

363
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,080
Speaker 3: been a lot of There's been a lot of conversations

364
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:55,400
Speaker 3: in our house about alcohol and food choices and protein

365
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:56,680
Speaker 3: and fruit and veggies, and stuff.

366
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,240
Speaker 2: So it goes both ways. Yes, we pass stuff on.

367
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:04,520
Speaker 2: Yes we can't help it pass on habits and choices.

368
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,440
Speaker 3: And behaviors in our kids. But we can be conscious

369
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:11,800
Speaker 3: about it for much of it, and where we are

370
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,000
Speaker 3: struggling with things, we can just talk about it and

371
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:18,520
Speaker 3: sort of say, hey, I don't want this for you.

372
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,040
Speaker 3: You know, I had to make my bed. I had

373
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,400
Speaker 3: to make my bed, and you're not allowed to sit

374
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,679
Speaker 3: on my bed. If Mum vacuumed the shag pile carpet,

375
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,000
Speaker 3: you're not allowed to walk on it. She'd say, unless

376
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:28,560
Speaker 3: you learned to hover, you're not going in that room.

377
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 3: And I would walk on the furniture. It was like

378
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:35,520
Speaker 3: everything had to be straight because she had to manage

379
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:37,760
Speaker 3: your own anxiety like that. And then the day Peter

380
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,359
Speaker 3: and I the first morning after making the bed and

381
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:41,120
Speaker 3: he sat on it.

382
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,440
Speaker 2: I was like, no, you can't sit on the bed.

383
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 3: He's like, ah, I can, and watch me and I'm

384
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,520
Speaker 3: like no, but I've just made it and he's like

385
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:55,639
Speaker 3: and he's like, well, that's not the way I was

386
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,240
Speaker 3: brought up. And feel free to straighten it up again

387
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,800
Speaker 3: when I get up sitting on it to put on

388
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 3: my socks, and then he'd have you want to invite

389
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,240
Speaker 3: people around to our new home, and I'll be like,

390
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:07,960
Speaker 3: but I haven't cleaned, but I haven't planned it. But

391
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:12,040
Speaker 3: he goes, it's okay, it's okay if you're not comfortable

392
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:15,640
Speaker 3: go out with your mates on Saturday night. Don't don't

393
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,040
Speaker 3: stress about it. But he kind of helped me to

394
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 3: learn to relax. So I've got a lot of issues, clearly, but.

395
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 1: I think it's like, yeah, but if you're not comfortable,

396
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:31,600
Speaker 1: that's okay. Be uncomfortable, and over time that will change.

397
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:36,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm thinking as you're talking. You know, so

398
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:38,919
Speaker 1: much of this show and your show and shows like

399
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,400
Speaker 1: this are about learning, growing, evolving. Yeah, yeah, it's such

400
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 1: a huge part Also of growing and evolving is actually

401
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:49,760
Speaker 1: about unlearning, Like what are the behaviors I need to unlearn?

402
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,359
Speaker 1: What's the thinking I need to unlearn? What are my

403
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 1: beliefs that I need to put under a spotlight and

404
00:21:55,080 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 1: go do they serve me or sabotage me? Because you know,

405
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,200
Speaker 1: like when that is the lens through which you view

406
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,919
Speaker 1: the world, you can't sit on the bed lens and

407
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,880
Speaker 1: get the fuck off. What are you doing? Right? That's

408
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 1: a problematic lens because that makes you know one part

409
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:17,280
Speaker 1: of life hard and then you go, hang on, Okay,

410
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:21,560
Speaker 1: what's the worst that can happen? Well, the bed's a

411
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 1: bit messy, Okay is that acceptable? I guess? So, all right,

412
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:28,080
Speaker 1: well fuck that off. That doesn't serve me because not

413
00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 1: only is not sitting on the bed is not only

414
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:33,440
Speaker 1: is sitting on the bed not a problem, but it's

415
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:38,600
Speaker 1: also not a reason for internal chaos or anxiety, and

416
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,600
Speaker 1: it's also not a reason to potentially have a problem

417
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:44,480
Speaker 1: with your partner. And you're like, but I think the

418
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:50,600
Speaker 1: thing is, doctor Jodi, is that this stuff is so

419
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:54,040
Speaker 1: ingrained that we don't have that level of in the

420
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:57,680
Speaker 1: moment awareness. And it's only when you step back now,

421
00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:00,800
Speaker 1: like you and me, where you're not you're not doing

422
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:03,080
Speaker 1: that anymore. You're not in the bedroom, he's not sitting

423
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:07,440
Speaker 1: on the bed. But we're objectively analyzing a thing, or

424
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 1: as objective as we can be looking through the Craig

425
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,120
Speaker 1: and Jody windows of course, but yeah, it's like, this

426
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:20,480
Speaker 1: is I guess for me, the beauty of self awareness

427
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 1: is just trying to not judge, not criticize, not loathe,

428
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:29,560
Speaker 1: not self loathe, but just go ah, why am I like,

429
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: why do I react that way? Why am I doing this?

430
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 1: Why am I saying this? Where is this coming from?

431
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 1: Does this way that I think does it actually help?

432
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 1: Does it serve me? Is it a positive? And if

433
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:48,280
Speaker 1: it doesn't serve me? Good? So tick, let's recognize that.

434
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 1: Now what can I do to maybe reverse that or

435
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:52,560
Speaker 1: undo that?

436
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:57,040
Speaker 2: It's and it takes time.

437
00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 3: And like you say that, awareness comes with mindful mode

438
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:04,240
Speaker 3: moments and not just kind of sleepwalking through life, which

439
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,720
Speaker 3: is so easy to do this, you know, this busyness.

440
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 3: I'm very conscious of how we can just go through

441
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 3: the day just kind of getting stuff done. And that

442
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 3: was me yesterday. And I stop and think now that

443
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:21,720
Speaker 3: we're having this conversation about like how much I've learned

444
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 3: through my relationship with Peter and how he's a very

445
00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 3: you know, anxiety is not really kind of something that

446
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 3: he It's not something he struggles with obviously, like every human,

447
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:35,360
Speaker 3: he has his moments. Multi story car parks is one

448
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 3: of those trigger that for him. But the awareness is huge,

449
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 3: and I think this idea that we can we can

450
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:48,160
Speaker 3: do things differently, and it is uncomfortable.

451
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,400
Speaker 2: It is so uncomfortable, and.

452
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,520
Speaker 3: There was a period of time where I just decided

453
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,959
Speaker 3: I am just not going to make the bed at all.

454
00:24:57,040 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 3: And there were months and I just got used to that.

455
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:04,159
Speaker 3: I just kind of taught myself. And it's saying it

456
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:08,199
Speaker 3: out loud sounds a bit pathetic because it's like, oh like,

457
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,960
Speaker 3: but it was about control, and it was about order,

458
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 3: and it was about and I think, and I don't

459
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 3: just think. I know, and the science tells us when

460
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:20,879
Speaker 3: there is chaos around us, a mess, it does affect,

461
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:24,640
Speaker 3: especially when we're anxious, It does affect the way how

462
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 3: you know, how clearly we can think, how settled we

463
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 3: are into the things that are doing the work that

464
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 3: we need to do. And so many of us need

465
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,680
Speaker 3: to kind of organize our space, to organize our minds.

466
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,440
Speaker 2: But I just unloaraned those.

467
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 3: Habits and that awareness to sort of say, how is

468
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:45,119
Speaker 3: this serving me?

469
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 2: How is this serving me? And why?

470
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 3: And I had a really interesting conversation on my podcast

471
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 3: about Christmas stress and family dynamics, and I guess Marie

472
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 3: Vakacas she said it was a really interesting and talking

473
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:05,439
Speaker 3: about perspective and the lens through which we're looking at things.

474
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:11,360
Speaker 3: She shared this example about Christmas, about you know, one person,

475
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,520
Speaker 3: let's just say that the husband has wants to spend.

476
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:15,879
Speaker 2: A lot of money.

477
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:20,280
Speaker 3: Apparently hams can be very expensive one vegetarians, we don't

478
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 3: need ham on Christmas Day, but you know, once the

479
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,680
Speaker 3: most beautiful ham, the really expensive ham, the huge piece

480
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 3: of ham. The table has to be set a certain way,

481
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,919
Speaker 3: certain foods need to be included, things need to be

482
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,879
Speaker 3: just so. And then the partner's saying, but the ham's

483
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:40,560
Speaker 3: too much. You know, things are a bit tight. Why

484
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,679
Speaker 3: can't we just get the supermarket one or go with

485
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,919
Speaker 3: a roast couple of roast hooks this year instead? And

486
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 3: that they ends up being tension and maybe even really

487
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 3: significant arguments over over the ham.

488
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 2: She's like, it's not about the ham. It comes back to.

489
00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:00,080
Speaker 3: What are our beliefs around Christmas Day? For example, what

490
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 3: have we been raised with, what's important to us about

491
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 3: the day. It's probably not about the ham. It might

492
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 3: be about spoiling people. It might be about feeling like

493
00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:11,960
Speaker 3: our Christmas will be less than in the eyes of

494
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 3: other people that are coming if we don't kind of

495
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,400
Speaker 3: do things the way we've always done them. So it's

496
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 3: not really about the thing we often think it's about.

497
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,959
Speaker 3: It can be about the things that are kind of

498
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:24,439
Speaker 3: come with us through our childhood and through all of

499
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:28,000
Speaker 3: our experiences that kind of culminate in an argument about

500
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 3: the one hundred dollar ham versus the fifteen dollar one.

501
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 3: It's not about the ham, and it just like I

502
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 3: think about, I'm trying to bring that thinking to other

503
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 3: things in my life, like what is this really about?

504
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 3: And the question you ask, does it serve me? It's

505
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 3: such a it's a question we can all ask, and

506
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:51,000
Speaker 3: hopefully with some time off over the coming weeks, we

507
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:52,919
Speaker 3: might all have some time to sort of think about

508
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:55,439
Speaker 3: what are we doing that's serving us and what are

509
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:56,159
Speaker 3: we doing that's not.

510
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:58,439
Speaker 2: And I'm not talking about news resolutions.

511
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:03,640
Speaker 3: I'm talking about long term kind of reflection opportunities and

512
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:06,240
Speaker 3: trying to make change over time that's going to serve

513
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 3: us well and better in terms of our lifestyle and

514
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,200
Speaker 3: our health and our mental health as well.

515
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 1: I think I'm always amazed at how adaptable and resilient

516
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 1: and incredible people can be when they have to be right. So,

517
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,240
Speaker 1: my mum's best friend who's like my second mom, she's

518
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:31,640
Speaker 1: very unwell at the moment. Shout out. Her name's Ray

519
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 1: shout out to Ray and she's very unwell, and there's

520
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 1: just a lot of tough stuff going on at the moment,

521
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 1: really tough stuff. But let me tell you she's got

522
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 1: four daughters. Yeah, everyone's fucking amazing. Like, no one's complaining,

523
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 1: no one's no one's sinking, everyone's just stepping up. Everyone's

524
00:28:55,560 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 1: just you know, it's like, sometimes we can turn away

525
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 1: one out of ten minor problem into a fifteen out

526
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:07,520
Speaker 1: of ten catastrophe, and then other times, when we really

527
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:12,640
Speaker 1: are confronted with something incredibly difficult, there's something in us

528
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 1: that goes, well, I can't have a breakdown because all

529
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 1: this stuff needs to get done. I need to solve

530
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 1: this problem. I need to be this person I don't have,

531
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 1: Like if I'm not resilient now shit won't happen. So

532
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 1: I need to be. And so I have this awareness

533
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 1: that while you know, faced with the one out of

534
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 1: ten minor issue, that really isn't a problem, but we

535
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:40,280
Speaker 1: can create a problem, like we can fucking invent problems

536
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 1: where none exists. Yet what is encouraging for me is,

537
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 1: you know, not everyone. Of course, some people do fall

538
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 1: apart understandably, no judgment, that's just what happens. But also

539
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 1: at the same time, you know, average people with respect

540
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 1: in inverted commas, I'm an average person. I'm not special.

541
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 1: Average or typical or normal people can do fucking incredibly atypical, heroic,

542
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 1: incredible things when they just have to. So I find that, Yeah, that,

543
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,160
Speaker 1: and it's interesting. And it's like, then you're having a

544
00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 1: meltdown or you were at one stage over the fucking bed, right,

545
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:27,400
Speaker 1: yet put in something which doesn't even compare something horrible

546
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 1: and terrible and potentially life threatening. I have no doubt

547
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 1: that you would just step up and do what needed

548
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,680
Speaker 1: to be done, and you wouldn't say I'm too anxious

549
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:38,880
Speaker 1: to deal with this. You just fucking deal with it.

550
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:45,000
Speaker 1: And I think this, like this awareness of how much

551
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 1: capacity we have, like how much like peoples not misrepresent

552
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 1: misunderstand me, like so many people think, but you're so smart,

553
00:30:56,800 --> 00:31:00,719
Speaker 1: you're so you're so fuck so talented. You just I'm like, no,

554
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:06,440
Speaker 1: I'm not, and I'm not like I'm I'm I struggled

555
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 1: at school, I struggled socially. Socially, I struggled with my

556
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 1: body and my health. The fucking nothing was easy. Ye

557
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 1: you know, my first degree, I did at thirty six,

558
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:21,479
Speaker 1: and I was terrified for the first six months. I

559
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 1: started my PhD at fifty six, also terrified, Still terrified. Right,

560
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:30,800
Speaker 1: none of this is easy or painless. Like the only

561
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 1: thing that I'm pretty good at and comfortable with is

562
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 1: what we're doing right now, which is just chatting to humans. Yeah,

563
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 1: but all of the other stuff, you know. But my

564
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 1: point is this, we can do incredible shit when we

565
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 1: don't let ourselves get in the way. Yeah, when we

566
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 1: don't let our programming and conditioning and fear and stories

567
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:57,560
Speaker 1: and internal bullshit. Like I so many people I meet,

568
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,240
Speaker 1: their genetics are not the problem. Their potential as not

569
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 1: the problem. Their brain is not the problem in terms

570
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 1: of their IQ, their intellect, their resources. It's like all

571
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:12,120
Speaker 1: their thinking, like they're thinking is basically a psychological and

572
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 1: emotional prison. And then they wake up and they're fifty.

573
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:20,480
Speaker 2: I know, I know, I know.

574
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 3: I'm thinking a lot about this at fifty myself, and

575
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 3: thinking about and yeah, thinking about the fact that time

576
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 3: is just passing by so fast, and if you're it

577
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 3: just pains me that people, so many people will wake

578
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 3: up when they're fifty, think about something now, and then

579
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 3: blink and they're sixty and have so much regret. I

580
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 3: was having a chat with my friend Sale a few

581
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 3: days ago and we were just talking about what if I.

582
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 2: Was given a you to live, what would be really

583
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 2: important for me to get done? What would I want

584
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 2: to not die having not done? That's too many negatives?

585
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 2: What do I want to do before I die?

586
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 3: And I got thinking about this a lot, because I,

587
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 3: like you said, about stepping up, we are going to

588
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 3: try not to get upset. But I lost my dear

589
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 3: aunt recently, twenty seventh of October. She passed away and

590
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 3: it was a shock. She had a stroke. She had

591
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,480
Speaker 3: that thunderclap headache. I hadn't heard of that before, but

592
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:32,600
Speaker 3: she had a massive stroke. And like you say about

593
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 3: stepping up, like her family's all around the world for us,

594
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 3: She's one of seven kids. Mum and I are the closest,

595
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:43,120
Speaker 3: and my other Arnie, and we just like we were just

596
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 3: like right. I left an event, actually, Craig, I was

597
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 3: leaving an event relate a relate event for eighty nine

598
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:52,680
Speaker 3: point nine. The light and my phone rang at eleven o'clock.

599
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 3: Driving home, I thought Mum's ringing to keep me company

600
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:57,080
Speaker 3: on the drive home. No Mum was ringing me to

601
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 3: tell me the news, and so we basically in the

602
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 3: middle of the night at the hospital at the Alfred,

603
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 3: came home, I took the kids to school, back to

604
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 3: the Alfred at the Alfred almost every day as you

605
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:09,359
Speaker 3: would be, and thankfully Annie Jenny regained consciousness. We had

606
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:12,880
Speaker 3: lots of chances to chat and everything, and unfortunately, you know,

607
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 3: it was just too.

608
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 2: Severe a stroke.

609
00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:19,560
Speaker 3: But it certainly speaks to your point of the stepping

610
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 3: up that happens when the shit hits the fan is

611
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 3: phenomenal and everybody did it. But also this idea that

612
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:29,920
Speaker 3: this mortality. We don't talk about death enough.

613
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,919
Speaker 2: We don't. We don't want to think about it. It's

614
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:35,439
Speaker 2: going to happen for all of us. We don't.

615
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 3: We don't want to really kind of spend too much

616
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:43,440
Speaker 3: time in that space because it's it's worrying, it's frightening,

617
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 3: and I want to come back.

618
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:45,480
Speaker 2: I want you.

619
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 3: I want to talk about a question you asked me

620
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 3: last time that I didn't answer, and I come up

621
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 3: with an answer about what do I need to do

622
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 3: that takes courage and it's related to this. I want

623
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,640
Speaker 3: to talk about that before we finish but sal and

624
00:34:57,680 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 3: I were talking about what do we want to do,

625
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 3: what what kind of is really important for us? And

626
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 3: I think we don't know how much Tommy. If we

627
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 3: keep putting it off, it's never going to feel easier.

628
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 3: Like you say, it's just about kind of making a start,

629
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:13,319
Speaker 3: and it's the consistency. It's the consistency of stepping forward

630
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 3: each day. Like you like you, you're so inspiring because

631
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 3: of the fact, I mean, I think you're an incredible

632
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:25,360
Speaker 3: human and that the things that you've achieved are phenomenal.

633
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,799
Speaker 3: Like you say, it hasn't come easy. It's just this

634
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:30,759
Speaker 3: is something that's important. I'm going to do it, and

635
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 3: I'm going to put one foot in front of the

636
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:34,280
Speaker 3: other and just keep going.

637
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 2: And it's amazing.

638
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 3: We underestimate what we can do in twelve months of

639
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:40,399
Speaker 3: just putting one foot in front of the other.

640
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 2: I think it's so important.

641
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:44,719
Speaker 3: And if you're listening and you're thinking of the things

642
00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 3: that you wanted to do over the last ten years,

643
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 3: you haven't done it. Please don't wait for it to

644
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 3: feel easier, or to be less anxious, or to you know,

645
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 3: to have someone guide you. Just buddy start because eventually,

646
00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 3: like for my gorgeous Anny Jen. I've been on the

647
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 3: phone with her on the Sunday booking tickets for an

648
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,560
Speaker 3: event that we're going to go to us. You know,

649
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:06,680
Speaker 3: we spent a lot of time together and Tuesday she

650
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:09,799
Speaker 3: had this stroke. She never left the hospital. You just

651
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 3: don't know what's going to happen.

652
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:17,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so true. God bless her and Arnie Jenny.

653
00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 1: A few weeks ago. This sounds unrelated, but just in

654
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:25,319
Speaker 1: terms of just just going I will just do it.

655
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 1: Like I did a little chat about this on the show,

656
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 1: but I don't know if you saw it, but my

657
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:36,880
Speaker 1: phone told me about three weeks ago Joe basically that

658
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,440
Speaker 1: I'm fat and lazy like it. It gave me alert

659
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:45,280
Speaker 1: and mind. I saw that, yeah, basically, get off your ass, right,

660
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:47,880
Speaker 1: And I looked at it, and generally I used to

661
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 1: walk like I guess somewhere between five and ten thousand

662
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 1: seven six, but for quite a long time because I

663
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:59,440
Speaker 1: live at this fucking desk, you know, researching, studying, writing, recording,

664
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:04,520
Speaker 1: doing business doing, coaching, doing workshops at this desk because

665
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 1: I do so much shit online, right, but it doesn't

666
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,799
Speaker 1: mean I can't Anyway. I looked at that, and I

667
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 1: was averaging something like four and a half thousands. I'm like,

668
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,719
Speaker 1: am I a plant? Am I A yucker? Am I

669
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 1: A fuck? Am I a rose bush? And I went,

670
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 1: that's it, that's it. And I just I went, that's it.

671
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 1: So from now I've got to do minimum of ten. Right,

672
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:31,319
Speaker 1: So in the last three weeks, I've averaged just under

673
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 1: fifteen thousand. So and I'm not saying am I an

674
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 1: I good? Because anyone can do that, right. It is

675
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:42,640
Speaker 1: just literally it's not like, oh, yeah, but you're genetically equipped. No,

676
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:46,760
Speaker 1: And I'm sixty one, like me walking fifteen thousand steps

677
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 1: a day and I'm pretty much a bodybuilder. I'm not

678
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:55,080
Speaker 1: a cardio king, right, But here's my point. Something in

679
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:58,919
Speaker 1: my brain went, you need to change, and not one

680
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 1: day and not soon, and not when you're motivated, and

681
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:04,320
Speaker 1: not when summer comes and not you need to fucking

682
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 1: change today. And so I just went, okay, and now

683
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 1: like this morning, it's so we're recording this, it's ten

684
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 1: twenty eight. I would say I've probably done seven thousand

685
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:18,919
Speaker 1: already and I'll do today at least fifteen. And it's

686
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:21,920
Speaker 1: not Oh, You're terrific, It's just like, no, this matters,

687
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 1: and I need to do this. And yes it's inconvenient

688
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,759
Speaker 1: because I've got lots of other shits, but I need

689
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:30,359
Speaker 1: to figure out a way. So I'm, as I said

690
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 1: in the thing, I'm now coaching people while I'm walking.

691
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 2: Love it.

692
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:38,399
Speaker 1: So all of the zoom coaching that I do, I'm

693
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 1: now doing on WhatsApp video and walking. So you know,

694
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:46,359
Speaker 1: obviously I'm not walking in high traffic areas and I'm

695
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:49,759
Speaker 1: not going to get run over. But here's my point, Like,

696
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:52,440
Speaker 1: it is not about you know, if you spend your

697
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:57,239
Speaker 1: life waiting for better genetics or more time, or the

698
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 1: perfect situation or the perfect conditions or the perfect environment.

699
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:05,000
Speaker 1: For most people, it will not happen. But as you know,

700
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:07,160
Speaker 1: as we said a minute ago, when the shit hits

701
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:10,000
Speaker 1: the fan and there is like it has to be now.

702
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 1: There is no other time. There's only now. Because the

703
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:15,440
Speaker 1: shit's happening now. You can't wait for more talent or

704
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:18,799
Speaker 1: more courage or more time. Like you're just fucking doing

705
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 1: it now, will you just do it? And you do

706
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:23,800
Speaker 1: it because there's part of your brain that goes, well, Craig,

707
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:28,560
Speaker 1: this isn't optional. Now, imagine if every listener that's underwalking

708
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:32,319
Speaker 1: just as a thought experiment. Like people when I need

709
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 1: to double my steps too, Well, imagine if in your

710
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:37,480
Speaker 1: mind you truly believe that there was no option, and

711
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 1: so from tomorrow you had to double your steps and

712
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 1: you had to find a way, like there was no

713
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,279
Speaker 1: other choice. Well, we just don't find a way. We

714
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 1: just all find a way. But the truth is, we

715
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:52,560
Speaker 1: don't have to. We don't have to be courageous, we

716
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 1: don't have to walk more, we don't have to make

717
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:58,400
Speaker 1: a decision, we don't have to change our diet today.

718
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:01,920
Speaker 1: We don't have to conform an't that thing. We don't

719
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:04,799
Speaker 1: have to. And this is the problem because the thing

720
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 1: that we need to do is not the thing we

721
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 1: want to do, and the thing that creates change is generally,

722
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:13,160
Speaker 1: as everyone fucking knows, I beg But there's no other

723
00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:17,440
Speaker 1: truth that it's hard, it's uncomfortable, it's inconvenient. And so

724
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:22,440
Speaker 1: while we consciously understand that, we subconsciously wait for the

725
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 1: perfect conditions and then boom we'ar fifty we do.

726
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:30,959
Speaker 3: And honestly, my brother's arriving from London today. I'm so excited, Craig.

727
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:32,680
Speaker 3: He's going to stay here for five weeks and I

728
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,200
Speaker 3: just adore him and really look up to him, and

729
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:39,319
Speaker 3: I'll never forget this is pre kids hanging out washing

730
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 3: outside here at home, Like I've got this picture in

731
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,279
Speaker 3: my mind because it was such a pivotal moment. And

732
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 3: I when I started studying, I've done my PhD and everything,

733
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 3: and I just started becoming really interested in psychology and

734
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 3: behavioral change and positive psychology and happiness science and all that.

735
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 3: And I really wanted to contact the co owner of

736
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 3: the Hot Springs Peninsula Hot Springs, Charles Davidson, because I've

737
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:10,560
Speaker 3: been to a breakfast networking event to hear him speak,

738
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:13,319
Speaker 3: and he said, if you've got something that you want

739
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:17,840
Speaker 3: to achieve, accomplished, to build, create, you've got to tell people.

740
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:21,239
Speaker 3: Because when you tell people, people might go, I know

741
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:24,040
Speaker 3: someone you should talk to, or or they might just

742
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:27,000
Speaker 3: support you. But best case scenarios, they might make a

743
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,719
Speaker 3: connection or And I said to Adam, I want to

744
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 3: I want to create this happiness retreat. I want to

745
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:34,319
Speaker 3: call it the Happiness Retreat. I want to deliver it

746
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:36,720
Speaker 3: at the Hot Springs. And I want to ask because

747
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 3: because because Charles said, if you want to do something,

748
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:40,839
Speaker 3: you tell someone, I'm like, I want to tell him

749
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:42,920
Speaker 3: this is what I want to do, and I'm pretty

750
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:45,319
Speaker 3: much thinking, how could he say no? Because he's the

751
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:49,359
Speaker 3: one that gave that advice, you know. Anyway, Adam said

752
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 3: to me when I was I said, I'm just I

753
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:55,520
Speaker 3: feel so anxious about it. And he said, having courage

754
00:41:56,440 --> 00:42:00,160
Speaker 3: does not mean you are not frightened about what you're

755
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:02,520
Speaker 3: about to do. He said, that is not what courage is.

756
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 3: It is knowing how terrified you are of doing something

757
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:09,760
Speaker 3: and doing it anyway. I mean, it's not a new quote,

758
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 3: it's not new advice. But it was in that moment

759
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:16,040
Speaker 3: that I realized that I'd been waiting. I had been waiting,

760
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:19,480
Speaker 3: and I picked up the darn phone and lo and behold,

761
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,640
Speaker 3: he said, I'd love to meet for a coffee.

762
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:23,040
Speaker 2: Long story short.

763
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:25,640
Speaker 3: Ten years later, I did the Happiness Retreat, I did

764
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:29,920
Speaker 3: other public facing things. Somebody recommended me because of my work.

765
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:32,080
Speaker 3: Eventually I ended up writing a book with the person

766
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:34,040
Speaker 3: I did the next lot of work with. Now I've

767
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:38,279
Speaker 3: got two books and my own business, and I'm just

768
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:41,279
Speaker 3: had I not made that phone call, had I not

769
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:44,360
Speaker 3: made that step, all of these other steps which have

770
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 3: been haven't been easy.

771
00:42:46,719 --> 00:42:48,200
Speaker 2: You know, I might be still sitting around.

772
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 3: I might be outside today pecking out the washing, thinking, gee,

773
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,759
Speaker 3: I really like to make this phone call, you know,

774
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 3: and all of a sudden, ten years later, here I

775
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:59,600
Speaker 3: am because of that phone call that I made, and

776
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 3: so yeah, it's you know.

777
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:06,440
Speaker 1: It's great. And I think also in the middle of

778
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:10,600
Speaker 1: your shitty self esteem and your shitty self doubt, and

779
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 1: you go, okay, well, I'll make a phone call anyway,

780
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,759
Speaker 1: and maybe it won't work, and if it doesn't work,

781
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 1: that's okay. And if it does work, boom. And if

782
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:20,239
Speaker 1: it doesn't work, I'll try something else. And if that

783
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:23,440
Speaker 1: doesn't work, I'll try something else. And if people reject me,

784
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:25,520
Speaker 1: that's cool. Some people will love me. And if I

785
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:27,440
Speaker 1: fall down, that's cool. I'll get up. And if I

786
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:29,040
Speaker 1: have a bad day, that's cool. I'll have a good

787
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 1: day one day. Like this is the journey. This is

788
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:37,880
Speaker 1: the journey is navigating bullshit, you know, navigating mayhem and

789
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 1: mess and or most of the things on planet Craig

790
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:45,040
Speaker 1: that impact me or intersect with me, or influence me

791
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:49,040
Speaker 1: or in my orbit, most of them I can't control

792
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:52,800
Speaker 1: most yeah, yeah, So what I do is I control

793
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:56,320
Speaker 1: the things I can, and I adapt around the things

794
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:58,400
Speaker 1: that I can't, and I ask good questions and I

795
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 1: try to be a good human. You know, but this

796
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:04,320
Speaker 1: is you know, you're not going to get more talent.

797
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:07,120
Speaker 1: You can get more skill and more understanding and awareness.

798
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:09,359
Speaker 1: You're not going to get more hours in a day.

799
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:11,319
Speaker 1: You're not going to get better genetics. You're not going

800
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:13,120
Speaker 1: to wind back the clock. You're not going to be

801
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 1: forty in five years. So we go, all right, well

802
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:20,920
Speaker 1: these are nones, these are certainties. So with all of

803
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:24,560
Speaker 1: that in mind, what's possible? You know, what can you do?

804
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 2: What?

805
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 1: What can can you? Can you go for walk today?

806
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:27,879
Speaker 3: Yes?

807
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:30,840
Speaker 1: Could you? Could you do some push ups against the

808
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 1: kitchen bench? Like two? Could you join a gym and

809
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:36,760
Speaker 1: sit on an exercise bike? Could you afford two dollars

810
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:39,400
Speaker 1: fifty a day? Because that's pretty much what could you

811
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:39,719
Speaker 1: do that?

812
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:40,400
Speaker 4: Well?

813
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 1: Yeah? Cool? Could you? Could you make a phone call

814
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:45,800
Speaker 1: and apologize or ask a question? Or could you enroll

815
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 1: in a SERP three or two or one in something?

816
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:51,800
Speaker 1: Could you read a book? Could you like the answer?

817
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:54,200
Speaker 1: There will be a question that the answer is yes,

818
00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 1: and you go, fuck, well done, let's do that, because

819
00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:01,800
Speaker 1: it's not even about doing the course or or building

820
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 1: the business. It's about who you become when you're doing

821
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:06,760
Speaker 1: the course. It's about who you become when you write

822
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 1: the book, when you start the well Hello Anxiety podcast.

823
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:14,080
Speaker 1: It's about who you become on the journey. You know.

824
00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:17,000
Speaker 1: For me, the new project has been an absolute blessing

825
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:22,880
Speaker 1: and a gift. And I you know, I'm super fortunate

826
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:26,400
Speaker 1: that I'm partnered with Nova, You're partner with Life FM.

827
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 1: We're both you know, super lucky, and we've both worked

828
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:32,040
Speaker 1: hard though. But for me, truly, the joy is the

829
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:35,319
Speaker 1: people I meet. The joy is this conversation. The joy

830
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 1: is meeting people from all over that I would never

831
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:42,399
Speaker 1: even get an appointment with. I wouldn't even get an

832
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:44,840
Speaker 1: appointment with half of the people that I talked to,

833
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:50,440
Speaker 1: if not, if not for this thing, that this vehicle

834
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 1: that just opens doors, this conduit to fucking learning and growth.

835
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 1: And you know, but even with this, it's like, well,

836
00:45:57,600 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 1: nobody knocked on the door and said, Craig, here's a

837
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:00,720
Speaker 1: success full show.

838
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 2: No, this is your fifth podcast, isn't it, Yes, it's

839
00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:05,720
Speaker 2: your fifth?

840
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:10,360
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Even last year I started a new show

841
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:13,280
Speaker 1: called Life which I did two hundred daily episodes straight

842
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:16,040
Speaker 1: and it was it was good. But I was doing

843
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:20,160
Speaker 1: fourteen podcasts a week, and I'm like, okay, and you

844
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 1: get to the point where it was sponsored, it was

845
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,080
Speaker 1: on the Nova platform. It was good and it was

846
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:30,280
Speaker 1: going better than the average podcast. But I'm like, yeah,

847
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:33,279
Speaker 1: this is okay. I learned something. What I learned is

848
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:35,439
Speaker 1: I do not want to do fourteen episodes a week.

849
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:39,480
Speaker 1: I can, I can, I don't want to. Hey, we're

850
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:43,440
Speaker 1: going to wind up, but tell people. So Jody's podcast

851
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:48,120
Speaker 1: is brilliant. She's brilliance called well, hallo anxiety. What else

852
00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:48,560
Speaker 1: do you want to?

853
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:48,759
Speaker 4: Oh?

854
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:50,200
Speaker 1: You wanted to answer a question?

855
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:55,560
Speaker 2: I did, all right, have you got last time? Thank

856
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:57,120
Speaker 2: you last time?

857
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,320
Speaker 3: When you asked me what it is in the coming

858
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 3: months that I need to find courage for? And I

859
00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:06,040
Speaker 3: decided that I couldn't answer the question probably and that

860
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:07,719
Speaker 3: I probably needed to do something that was going to

861
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 3: be hard because I can't come up. And nothing came

862
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:14,200
Speaker 3: to mind until we got off the call, and I thought, actually,

863
00:47:14,280 --> 00:47:16,959
Speaker 3: there is something very big that I need to find

864
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:19,600
Speaker 3: courage for and it's taking a bit of courage for

865
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:20,279
Speaker 3: me to share it.

866
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:21,879
Speaker 2: And I've thought about whether or I'll tell.

867
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:27,799
Speaker 3: You this, and of course I am I. I bow

868
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 3: cancer runs in my family, and I'm quite happy helped

869
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:33,719
Speaker 3: saying I'm quite healthy and well, I don't have a

870
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:34,920
Speaker 3: diagnosis a bow cancer.

871
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:36,480
Speaker 2: That's not where I'm going, but.

872
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 3: It runs in my family. And so I've been having

873
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:40,760
Speaker 3: preventative checks colonoscopies.

874
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:41,879
Speaker 2: Joy, oh, Joy.

875
00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:46,640
Speaker 3: And the last one I had, Craig was six months ago,

876
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:49,479
Speaker 3: and I've just had another one and it was really

877
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:51,600
Speaker 3: good news. But the last one I had, I got

878
00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:54,760
Speaker 3: diagnosed with this syndrome that trooples my risk of bow cancer.

879
00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 1: Wow.

880
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:59,760
Speaker 2: And it was a long colonoscopy.

881
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:04,520
Speaker 3: Came out of it feeling terrible physically, very frightened emotionally

882
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:06,480
Speaker 3: getting the news that you've got this syndrome.

883
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:07,240
Speaker 2: It's genetic.

884
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:10,400
Speaker 3: There's nothing you can do about it, like literally diet, exercise,

885
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:15,440
Speaker 3: you know. And one of the things that in my

886
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 3: follow up appointment with my gas storinrologist, he said, I

887
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:26,319
Speaker 3: want to refer you to familial cancer genetic screening, And

888
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:29,319
Speaker 3: basically what that means is they do a blood test

889
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:33,440
Speaker 3: and determine what cancers you're at risk of. And I

890
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:38,880
Speaker 3: was terrified by that idea because I thought gosh, and

891
00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:40,880
Speaker 3: that was a thing. When I got off the call,

892
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:42,759
Speaker 3: I sort of thought, geez, actually, that is something I'm

893
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:44,080
Speaker 3: really struggling with at the moment.

894
00:48:44,120 --> 00:48:46,839
Speaker 2: Do I want to know? Do I want to know? Yes,

895
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:48,920
Speaker 2: I want to know, Yes, I should know. Do I

896
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:50,880
Speaker 2: want to know? That's terrifying me.

897
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:57,239
Speaker 3: Anyway, I had the conversation the consult with the through Monash,

898
00:48:57,320 --> 00:49:00,200
Speaker 3: through the Monash Hospital, and she said, it it's not

899
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:03,160
Speaker 3: all cancers, it's bow cancers, and we determine what you're

900
00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:05,799
Speaker 3: at risk of to kind of help me know how

901
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 3: frequently I need to have my klonoscopies for the rest

902
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:08,760
Speaker 3: of my life.

903
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:10,759
Speaker 2: And I said yes to that.

904
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:14,480
Speaker 3: I yes, I definitely want to know. It's you know,

905
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:16,120
Speaker 3: I don't know what the news is going to be,

906
00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:19,120
Speaker 3: but I can't change the outcome. I cannot control what

907
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:21,800
Speaker 3: my genetics are, but learning about them can help me

908
00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:24,719
Speaker 3: control other things. And it's good for my kids to know,

909
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:27,120
Speaker 3: et cetera, et cetera. And so I wanted to share

910
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:29,640
Speaker 3: with you. I wanted to share that with you because

911
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 3: because I want people listening to know that you know,

912
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:41,800
Speaker 3: this idea that our coming back to mortality, coming back

913
00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:44,600
Speaker 3: to you know, like what happened with Annie Jenny, you

914
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:47,040
Speaker 3: know obviously, and I know Ray's not well. You've got

915
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 3: somebody very specially in your life, and I know you

916
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:52,359
Speaker 3: know your dad's had a heart attack, you know, sort of.

917
00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:53,920
Speaker 2: In the in the recent past.

918
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:57,799
Speaker 3: And you know our aging parents that you know, they're

919
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:01,720
Speaker 3: giving us lots lots of sleepless nights and things.

920
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:04,239
Speaker 2: And the reason I want to share this with you

921
00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:05,320
Speaker 2: is because.

922
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:10,239
Speaker 3: Having these tests, having these screenings, you know, for our

923
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:12,799
Speaker 3: skin and I know I've spoken about this before, but.

924
00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:15,360
Speaker 2: For our our bowhoalth.

925
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:17,839
Speaker 3: You know, the fifty year olds get you get it

926
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:19,719
Speaker 3: literally on your birthday note to say we're sending you

927
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:22,600
Speaker 3: a bow screening test. I know of someone who had

928
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:24,800
Speaker 3: that sitting around for eighteen months and now has stage

929
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:28,279
Speaker 3: four bow cancer and could have done something about it.

930
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 3: And I guess this is kind of another public service

931
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:35,879
Speaker 3: announcement for you know, get your boobs checked, ladies, get

932
00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:40,320
Speaker 3: your bows checked, if you you know, get your colonoscopies,

933
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:44,799
Speaker 3: get your skin checks. It's frightening, it's anxiety provoking. Yes,

934
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:47,160
Speaker 3: they might find something. What if they find something. If

935
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:51,279
Speaker 3: they find something, you can do something about it. Bow

936
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:54,160
Speaker 3: cancer doesn't occur overnight. It takes years for polyps to

937
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:57,720
Speaker 3: turn into bow cancer. If you find if they find polyps,

938
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:01,200
Speaker 3: they can take them out. Not knowing is not going

939
00:51:01,239 --> 00:51:04,799
Speaker 3: to change the situation. And you know, I'm in a

940
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 3: good position. I've had my next one just a week ago,

941
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:11,440
Speaker 3: and the gastorin Trilogier said, don't need to see you

942
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:12,360
Speaker 3: for a year, and I'm.

943
00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:15,680
Speaker 2: Like, yes, that is awesome. But I'm in a more

944
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 2: empowered position.

945
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:19,439
Speaker 3: And so it wasn't that I thought of this last

946
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:22,000
Speaker 3: time and didn't have the courage to say. And I'm

947
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:24,479
Speaker 3: not embarrassed at all about it. It's just a part

948
00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:28,400
Speaker 3: of my lot and at least me going through this

949
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:30,960
Speaker 3: and sharing about it, which I like to be really authentic,

950
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:36,680
Speaker 3: can hopefully make a difference for other people. Because you

951
00:51:36,719 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 3: know something's going to catch up with this inevitably. Why

952
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:41,880
Speaker 3: don't we see what we can catch early and do

953
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:44,160
Speaker 3: something about so that we give ourselves more time, more

954
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 3: and more health over the years to come. So, yeah,

955
00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:51,320
Speaker 3: I wanted to answer that question for you this time

956
00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:54,439
Speaker 3: because I couldn't answer it in a really important way

957
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 3: last time.

958
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:59,760
Speaker 1: Well good answer and good answer, but great community service

959
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:03,440
Speaker 1: now as well, and it's it's true. It's it's we

960
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:08,160
Speaker 1: do have a real tendency to be reactive, not proactive.

961
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:11,919
Speaker 1: And the thing is, you know, as the doc said,

962
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 1: it's it's when we catch something in its infancy, the

963
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:21,759
Speaker 1: chances of surviving and thriving are exponentially greater, you know.

964
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:27,160
Speaker 1: And it's like, yeah, it's if you've got something, you've

965
00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:31,120
Speaker 1: got it, not knowing about it does not help.

966
00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 4: It's like not knowing won't make it go away. Yeah,

967
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:39,600
Speaker 4: So even though you don't want anything, and there's let's

968
00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 4: hope that all of you listening, there's there's nothing that

969
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:45,560
Speaker 4: comes up bad when you go to get whatever done,

970
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:48,520
Speaker 4: and it probably will be good for most, if not all,

971
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:48,839
Speaker 4: of you.

972
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:52,399
Speaker 1: But on the off chance I'm with you, I get.

973
00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:56,840
Speaker 1: I mean, I think I've probably know I had about

974
00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:59,640
Speaker 1: six things cut off my skin recently. I've had over

975
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:03,560
Speaker 1: thirty skin cancers, basil cell carcinomas, squamous sells, a whole

976
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:06,799
Speaker 1: lot of different things. I had fourteen stitches in my

977
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,920
Speaker 1: forehead or eleven or twelve like recently. You know, It's like,

978
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 1: but if I don't go and get tested and I

979
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:16,799
Speaker 1: don't get that shit cutout, that's that's gonna kill me

980
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:21,440
Speaker 1: and so better. It's like scars are cool and the

981
00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:25,160
Speaker 1: moment if you're a sixty year old dude, maybe, but

982
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:28,759
Speaker 1: we're going to go tell people how to connect, tell

983
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:30,240
Speaker 1: people how to find you and connect.

984
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:34,760
Speaker 3: Oh, Doctor Jody Richardson dot com, dot a you online,

985
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 3: Dr jod I Richardson, Yeah, thank you, Craig. Honestly like, yeah, sorry.

986
00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:44,840
Speaker 3: On my website you'll find my podcast and my speaking offerings.

987
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:47,319
Speaker 3: I've got more coming. I'm really excited about some new

988
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:50,680
Speaker 3: kind of presentations I've got for next year, which I

989
00:53:50,719 --> 00:53:51,680
Speaker 3: won't reveal now.

990
00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:54,720
Speaker 2: But yeah, I am.

991
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:58,440
Speaker 3: Just loving where things are at with my ability to

992
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:00,640
Speaker 3: support people and make a difference for them. And I'm

993
00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:04,240
Speaker 3: getting so many lovely testimonials. So I created a testimonial's page, Craig,

994
00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:06,560
Speaker 3: because I thought it'd been nice to share with lovely

995
00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:10,719
Speaker 3: things people are saying. So but yeah, Instagram follow me

996
00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:12,719
Speaker 3: on Instagram if you want to sort of connect as well,

997
00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:15,440
Speaker 3: and DM me if you go for a go for

998
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:19,520
Speaker 3: a scan because of this conversation, let me know because yeah,

999
00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:21,879
Speaker 3: it's I think, yeah, and talk to your family about

1000
00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:22,439
Speaker 3: that as well.

1001
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:23,879
Speaker 2: Just encourage the people in your.

1002
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:27,040
Speaker 3: Life to do the things that are uncomfortable but might

1003
00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:27,880
Speaker 3: make a difference.

1004
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:30,960
Speaker 2: So yeah, Craig, it's just such a joy to talk

1005
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:31,160
Speaker 2: to you.

1006
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:32,919
Speaker 3: I always look forward to and I'm always sorry when

1007
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:35,880
Speaker 3: these episodes come to an end. The first episode, the

1008
00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:38,120
Speaker 3: first recording, I was delighted when it came to an end,

1009
00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:39,120
Speaker 3: but now I feel different.

1010
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:44,000
Speaker 1: Well, we love you, hey, and heads up, listeners, I've

1011
00:54:44,040 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 1: got two things I want to tell you. The first

1012
00:54:45,680 --> 00:54:47,839
Speaker 1: thing is, and I haven't shared this anywhere, but I'm

1013
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:52,319
Speaker 1: going to. This is a newsflash here. So next year,

1014
00:54:52,920 --> 00:54:55,279
Speaker 1: I've got about six to eight people that I love,

1015
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:59,000
Speaker 1: that are brilliant, that have got great talent and always

1016
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:03,160
Speaker 1: always brings something amazing to the show. And doctor Jody

1017
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:04,960
Speaker 1: is one of those. And doctor Jody is going to

1018
00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:07,640
Speaker 1: be a regular next year along with about we're probably

1019
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:10,440
Speaker 1: all going to have maybe ten regulars, of which Jody

1020
00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:13,960
Speaker 1: is on that team. Super gracious and kind and so

1021
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:15,400
Speaker 1: you're going to hear a fair bit of her, and

1022
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:19,239
Speaker 1: we're going to we're consciously going to every time next

1023
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:21,920
Speaker 1: year pick a topic. None of them are going to

1024
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:23,920
Speaker 1: be We're not going to do one topic the same.

1025
00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:27,520
Speaker 1: So however many we do, how many are we doing

1026
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:30,800
Speaker 1: next year. Did I can't remember, Oh, I haven't looked.

1027
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:32,600
Speaker 3: I haven't looked at your calendar and booked any in yet.

1028
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:34,239
Speaker 3: But you just tell me the number and I'll lock

1029
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:35,000
Speaker 3: them in the schedule.

1030
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:39,160
Speaker 1: Kiddy up. But we're going to explore a diverse range

1031
00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:41,600
Speaker 1: of topics and ideas and subject Now, the other thing

1032
00:55:41,640 --> 00:55:45,040
Speaker 1: I want to tell you everyone and doctor Jody is

1033
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:48,160
Speaker 1: on February three, I'm launching my next mentoring program. So

1034
00:55:48,239 --> 00:55:51,600
Speaker 1: last mentoring program finished about a month ago. We sold out,

1035
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:55,239
Speaker 1: plus we oversold. I ended up taking more people than

1036
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:59,319
Speaker 1: I intended, and we've had lots of inquiries and so

1037
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:01,279
Speaker 1: the next one, if you want to go have look

1038
00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:04,520
Speaker 1: what it's about. I've actually which is very unme. I've

1039
00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:07,120
Speaker 1: created a ten week syllabus for the course because I'm

1040
00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 1: normally just show up, but there's actually a ten week program.

1041
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:12,680
Speaker 1: So you can go to my website, just going to

1042
00:56:12,719 --> 00:56:15,680
Speaker 1: Craig hrpa dot net, go into education. You can read

1043
00:56:15,719 --> 00:56:17,600
Speaker 1: about the program. You can read about each week what

1044
00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 1: it's about, and you may or may not want to

1045
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:23,160
Speaker 1: book in, but there it is. Jode, you might want

1046
00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:24,600
Speaker 1: to book in. You've got a lot of issues. I

1047
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:25,880
Speaker 1: could probably give you a discount.

1048
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:29,799
Speaker 2: Well see thanks, appreciate it, Thank you, see you next time.

1049
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:30,600
Speaker 2: Thanks so Ya.