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Speaker 1: Dr Jodi Richardson, Welcome back to the You Project.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, it's great you.

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Speaker 1: How are you? Lovely?

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Speaker 2: Do you know what? I'm actually pretty done good. I'm

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Speaker 2: pretty good. I am flat out. I've got a million

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Speaker 2: things to do. I counted yesterday that I did sixteen

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Speaker 2: trips in my car, sixteen one six and cracked it

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Speaker 2: a bit at the kids who were a little bit

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Speaker 2: kind of like, you know, woe is me about a

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Speaker 2: couple of things, and I'm just like, no, woe is

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Speaker 2: me today. But I'm getting things done. I'm getting things

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Speaker 2: ticked off and still managing to maintain a pretty good

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Speaker 2: sense of humor. And I'm pretty optimistic about kind of

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Speaker 2: what's to come. So yeah, generally very good at the moment.

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Speaker 1: What's the line or what's the juggling act between letting

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Speaker 1: kids fall over and fuck up and experience a little

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Speaker 1: bit of adversity and hardship and being the protective mum.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. As a general rule, parents will way

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Speaker 2: too protective, way too protective. We don't let them do

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Speaker 2: the things in life that we were allowed to do

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Speaker 2: when we were kids. But I say that it's very

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Speaker 2: hard to step back. I'll give you a personal example.

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Speaker 2: I'll give you a couple of examples. So our daughter

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Speaker 2: recently got a detention at school for her uniform. She

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Speaker 2: wore the wrong socks. She knows better, all right, and

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Speaker 2: she was like, oh, Mom, can you get me out

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Speaker 2: of it. I'm like, no, You're going to the detention

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Speaker 2: Like it's just a little thing. But I think we

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Speaker 2: need to let them bear the consequences of their choices.

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Speaker 2: You know. Another situation with her at the moment is

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Speaker 2: that she has a class that she is not loving.

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Speaker 2: She's chosen some electives, all of them are great, bar

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Speaker 2: one not loving it and is kind of angling to

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Speaker 2: get out of it. And I kind of said to

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Speaker 2: her yesterday, look, it's only going to get better, not worse.

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Speaker 2: I won't go into the details of what she's not

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Speaker 2: loving it. She wouldn't love that. But I just need

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Speaker 2: my kids to face the challenges as they come and

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Speaker 2: learn that, you know what, it's not the worst thing

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Speaker 2: in the world. You can bear the consequences when they come,

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Speaker 2: if they come, which are rare, and you can learn

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Speaker 2: that you can get through it and get out to

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Speaker 2: the other side. You know. Other things like letting them

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Speaker 2: on the train, like we live on the Mornington Peninsula.

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Speaker 2: As you know, it's about an hour from the city.

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Speaker 2: Big shopping center for us sort of the closest one

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Speaker 2: would be Southland, And you know, I do worry a

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Speaker 2: little bit, but I need to let my kids on

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Speaker 2: the bus on the train to get out and do

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Speaker 2: things and just let them experience the world, because, my goodness,

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Speaker 2: they're going to experience it when they've got their licenses,

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Speaker 2: and I want them to have had some challenges, some mishaps,

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Speaker 2: some experiences that they've had to kind of navigate before

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Speaker 2: they are doing it all on their own and I

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Speaker 2: don't have any kind of influence over it. So it's

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Speaker 2: bloody hard. It is hard to let go and let

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Speaker 2: go of the rains, but it's it's the only way

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Speaker 2: that we can set them up to actually get good

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Speaker 2: at solving problems and getting themselves out of a jam

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Speaker 2: and learning that if they do get in a really

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Speaker 2: difficult situation and things go south, that they can come

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Speaker 2: out the other side with our support as well. So

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Speaker 2: it's not easy. There's no one line. But in general,

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Speaker 2: so many parents are kind of doing too much, doing

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Speaker 2: too much for them, doing too much with them, and

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Speaker 2: holding on pretty tight to the rains and I've done

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Speaker 2: that too. No judgment here, but we've got to let go.

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Speaker 2: We've got to let go a lot more than we are.

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Speaker 1: Do you think there's a relationship between how overprotected parents

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Speaker 1: are and the mental fragility of young people that we're seeing.

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Speaker 2: I do as you know, like anxiety is like kind

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Speaker 2: of my wheelhouse. And you know, when we're anxious about something,

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Speaker 2: like the first time you invited me to be on

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Speaker 2: your podcast, I was so anxious, Like I was so anxious,

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Speaker 2: but it didn't stop me. I said yes, and I

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Speaker 2: never faltered on the fact that I really wanted to

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Speaker 2: do it. But I don't know how many episodes we're

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Speaker 2: into now halps, But now I'm just super excited to

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Speaker 2: chat to you. I love chatting with you, and I

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Speaker 2: love this community you've created and it's so much easier.

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Speaker 2: And yes, there's a bit of anxiety because I care.

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Speaker 2: But the only way we can learn that we can

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Speaker 2: do the things that we want to do is by

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Speaker 2: doing them, and when we're protected from doing them, Like

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Speaker 2: you know, a friend of mine was telling me her

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Speaker 2: daughter didn't want to go to school because it was

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Speaker 2: the day to present the class project so to day

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Speaker 2: to present the post to the class, and everyone was

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Speaker 2: pulling out and parents were like giving the kids permission

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Speaker 2: to not go so they didn't have to do this thing.

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Speaker 2: And I tell you what, when you don't do it

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Speaker 2: the first time, it's so much harder a second. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: not giving our kids freedom. And the other huge thing,

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Speaker 2: one of the huge things is risk taking, Like we

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Speaker 2: need our kids to fall off their bikes, to fall

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Speaker 2: out of a tree, to make a poor decision about

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Speaker 2: a public transport choice, to you know, get themselves in

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Speaker 2: a bit of a pickle in the shopping center. I

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Speaker 2: mean my daughter again, she was with her friend at Target.

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Speaker 2: They had stuff from Kmart, they hadn't kept their receipt

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Speaker 2: they'd paid for bags, they had receipts for the bags

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Speaker 2: they'd bought the fifteen cent bags from Camart. They got

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Speaker 2: stopped at the door at Target because the woman thought

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Speaker 2: that they'd been stealing and they absolutely hadn't and they

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Speaker 2: couldn't prove that, and you know, like if we don't,

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Speaker 2: if we don't give them I mean, not that that

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Speaker 2: was risk taking as such, because they're good kids. They

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Speaker 2: know not to steal, but risk taking and choices in

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Speaker 2: in situations where there's no adults is so good for

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Speaker 2: our kids, Like they learn to kind of judge things,

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Speaker 2: they learn to negotiate, they learn to communicate. You look

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Speaker 2: at a game, you let kids go for it and

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Speaker 2: play a game like you think of backyard cricket like adults.

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Speaker 2: If we just stand back, the kids will sort it out.

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Speaker 2: They have to cooperate because they want other kids to play.

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Speaker 2: They can't go smashing it out of the park all

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Speaker 2: the time because everyone will walk away. It's no fun

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Speaker 2: if you're just dominating, you know. If you want to

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Speaker 2: kind of like develop the rules around a game, you've

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Speaker 2: got to communicate. And this free play, these opportunities, they

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Speaker 2: are gold, and they are so they're so missing from

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Speaker 2: life for our young kids. They spend a lot of

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Speaker 2: time inside, they spend a lot of time online, and

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Speaker 2: it's really hurting them. It's really hurting them. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: direct correlation between being over protected outside and as Jonathan

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Speaker 2: Hate would say, who wrote the an anxious gen underprotected online.

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Speaker 1: So we know that. I love that. By the way,

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Speaker 1: we know that, like we want our kids to be

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Speaker 1: able to, as you said, solve problems because life is

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Speaker 1: in many ways, life is about our ability to solve

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Speaker 1: problems and to navigate and negotiate, uncertainty, unfamiliarity, discomfort, all

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Speaker 1: those things. Should we be And we also know that

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Speaker 1: resilience is important, but it seems like we're we're doing

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Speaker 1: the opposite of helping them be resilient. Should parents or

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Speaker 1: teachers or cares consciously help kids become resilient? Or is that?

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's kind of what you're talking about. But

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Speaker 1: do we need to be strategic about this? Like I'm

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Speaker 1: just thinking, how do you get strong? Like without you know,

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Speaker 1: like I'm not accidentally going to build muscle or build strength,

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Speaker 1: or build power, or build muscular endurance, or build competence

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Speaker 1: or skill unless I go to the in this analogy,

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Speaker 1: unless I go to the gym and do the things

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Speaker 1: that create that outcome. What about is there a conscious

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Speaker 1: way to do this in terms of mental and emotional

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Speaker 1: strength and flex cognitive flexibility and capacity that is.

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Speaker 2: It's the best analogy. And Lucy, one of our coaches

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Speaker 2: at CrossFit, she said recently, because we're talking about women

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Speaker 2: being strong, right, we're talking and she said, when she

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Speaker 2: sees a woman who's got like muscle, definition got some

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Speaker 2: meat on her bones that you know she's worked for

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Speaker 2: you know she has worked for it, she has earned that.

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Speaker 2: You as have men who are training. You can't buy muscle.

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Speaker 2: You have to do the work. And when it comes

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Speaker 2: to resilience, you don't just you can't have it handed

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Speaker 2: to you on a plate. You have to earn resilience.

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Speaker 2: It's not built in a vacuum. But when it comes

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Speaker 2: to kind of decisions around building resilience, and I think,

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Speaker 2: I think as adults who are looking after or raising

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Speaker 2: young people, gosh, I was just thinking, Peter and I

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Speaker 2: haven't sat down had a good chat about just life

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Speaker 2: and general and things because we're just so busy. I

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Speaker 2: think taking the time out with yourself or with your

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Speaker 2: partner if you've got one, or with whoever else is

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Speaker 2: kind of in the circle of you know, a colleague,

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Speaker 2: if you're a teacher, to sort of think about, right,

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Speaker 2: what are we doing and what could we do differently

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Speaker 2: that would help these kids to have the experiences that

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Speaker 2: they need, because that's really what it comes down to.

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Speaker 2: You only learn what you can cope with by coping

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Speaker 2: with things. And when you know, I can speak from

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Speaker 2: example like it is, it is gut wrenching it is

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Speaker 2: sick to the stomach when your kids are going through stuff,

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Speaker 2: like when your kid comes home and says someone's being

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Speaker 2: and you know, watching them at school, like you know,

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Speaker 2: somebody's giving them a really hard time on the daily

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Speaker 2: at school, or they have worked their butts off to

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Speaker 2: try to achieve something and they miss the mark, or

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Speaker 2: they just keep get rejected by someone if they're you know,

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Speaker 2: reaching out, or they want to sort of connect with someone,

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Speaker 2: or all of those things, all of those things that

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Speaker 2: just break their hearts. And as a parent, you just

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Speaker 2: feel sick. And so I have to tell myself and

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Speaker 2: I am not the perfect parent in you know. You know,

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Speaker 2: I'm not trying to say that I'm doing it all right.

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Speaker 2: I'm navigating it as I go. But I have a really,

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Speaker 2: i guess a strong understanding in myself that as hard

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Speaker 2: as it is to let them go through these challenges,

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Speaker 2: I have to step back, not away, not stepping away.

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Speaker 2: I'm not absent, but I am not trying to problem solve.

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Speaker 2: I am not trying to pave the path or what

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Speaker 2: was that thing there was snowplow parents. I think there

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Speaker 2: for a while that were like zooming everything out of

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Speaker 2: the way. You know, anticipating what could go wrong. I'm

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Speaker 2: trying to remind myself when things go really pear shaped

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Speaker 2: that it is an opportunity. And you know, at fourteen

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Speaker 2: and sixteen, I can see it in the kids now

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Speaker 2: that that resilience muscle is growing. That resilience muscle is growing,

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Speaker 2: and they've had enough experiences, you know, on their COVID kids,

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Speaker 2: like a lot of you know, teenagers their age, they

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Speaker 2: went through the most difficult hard times, you know, and

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Speaker 2: our son lacerated his liver at the end of COVID.

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Speaker 2: He had a bike accident and lacerated his liver and

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Speaker 2: it was on the verge of needing surgery. It was.

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Speaker 2: It was terrifying, and you know, obviously you can't problem

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Speaker 2: solve your way out of that. You just get them

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Speaker 2: thro the emergency center and all of that. But you

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Speaker 2: just have to kind of go right with every check

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Speaker 2: mark on the board of shitty things that happen. It's

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Speaker 2: a learning experience and we don't like it, but we

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Speaker 2: have to tell ourselves when they learn that I can

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Speaker 2: go through a serious injury and come out the other side.

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Speaker 2: I can go through a rejection and come out the

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Speaker 2: other side. You know, he got a detention, and I

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Speaker 2: was I high fived him that he got a detention

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Speaker 2: because he's pretty straight laced. And he made a decision

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Speaker 2: one day to leave the school grounds because his mates

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Speaker 2: were all going to the local shops and he didn't

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Speaker 2: want to be the one wauser who was left behind.

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Speaker 2: And I said, you know, I think that was actually

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Speaker 2: a good decision because your social connections are everything when

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Speaker 2: you're a teenager. And I'm like, just wear that detention.

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Speaker 2: I think that you made the right decision under the circumstances.

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Speaker 2: It's very safe. You know. Obviously as a former teacher,

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Speaker 2: you know, I sort of think, oh, what if this

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Speaker 2: school heard me saying this, Well, I for my kid,

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Speaker 2: that was the right choice. And I'm like, okay, go

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Speaker 2: to the detention as a turnout of his having his

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Speaker 2: wisdom teeth out on the day of the detention, and

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Speaker 2: they never followed up with it. He got out of

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Speaker 2: it in the end. But just this resilience piece is

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Speaker 2: really lacking. Kids are quite fragile. Many are struggling. And

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Speaker 2: what I'm hearing from my friends who are fifty like

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Speaker 2: me and are kind of managing generations that have kind

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Speaker 2: of come through below us, behind us, that there's a

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Speaker 2: lot of things that they're not very resilient about. And

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Speaker 2: I'm generalizing, but it's our job now to let our

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Speaker 2: kids go through the stuff they have to go through

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Speaker 2: so that they can build that they will thank us,

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Speaker 2: and we will be able to relax a lot more

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Speaker 2: when they're older, knowing that they've got what they need.

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Speaker 2: They're well equipped to cope in this world that is

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Speaker 2: really hard sometimes.

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Speaker 1: I remember a lady that I used to train Joe

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Speaker 1: a long time ago, like twenty five years ago, and

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Speaker 1: I got on well with this lady and she was lovely.

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Speaker 1: She was a sweetheart, and I don't mind that and

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Speaker 1: patronizing like love, but all the issues like completely, like

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Speaker 1: body dysmorphia, everything revolved around and she knew it, like

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Speaker 1: we spoke about it regularly, and and like she was

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Speaker 1: quite irrational about her food and her exercise. She was

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Speaker 1: quite obsessed, and she'd you know, she'd over not over eat,

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Speaker 1: but she'd eat a bit of whatever cake and then

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Speaker 1: she wouldn't eat the whole next day. And then you know,

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Speaker 1: a lot of irrational, unhealthy relationship with her body and

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Speaker 1: food and originally a very very serious eating disorder then

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Speaker 1: eventually just disordered eating and all the stuff right, And

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Speaker 1: we spoke about it, but I'd never met a daughter.

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Speaker 1: And then I met her daughter, like after about a year,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, she's just handed down all her issues

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Speaker 1: to her daughter. Her daughter was exactly. Her daughter was obsessed,

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Speaker 1: she was insecure, she weighed herself fifteen times a day.

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Speaker 1: She was just a younger version of the dysfunctionalma. And

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Speaker 1: I remember thinking, Oh, she's unconsciously and unintentionally, I think

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Speaker 1: built another her. And so I guess my question is

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Speaker 1: all of us, me included. Of course, we've all got issues,

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Speaker 1: and we also know that our children to an extent

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Speaker 1: are a byproduct of not only us genetically, of course,

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Speaker 1: but also socially, emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally. Do you ever think

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Speaker 1: about handing down your issues to your kids? Do you? Like,

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure that, Like, I don't know any parents

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Speaker 1: that's got all their shit together. I don't know any

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Speaker 1: human including me, do we? How do we not guarantee?

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Speaker 1: But how do we do our best that we don't

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Speaker 1: pass on our own negative traits and issues and behaviors?

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Speaker 2: Oh gosh, no, inevitably we will because they watch us

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Speaker 2: closely and they learn, they learn from us, and it

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Speaker 2: helps if we're cognizant. I guess of what what our

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Speaker 2: challenges are and our foibles and our you know, our

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Speaker 2: habits and the things that we do. You know, I

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Speaker 2: heard of someone who's who you know, that the dad

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Speaker 2: drinks a lot of beer after work. And then you know,

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Speaker 2: the little kids, a little toddler and they're like, well,

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Speaker 2: can I get your beer from the Not the toddler,

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Speaker 2: but you know, little kid, can I get your beer dad?

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Speaker 2: You know, And and it's just like classic kind of

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Speaker 2: this what this child is seeing is this is the pattern.

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Speaker 2: And you know, I think about how I've been kind

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Speaker 2: of shaped by my own mom and dad, particularly my mum,

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Speaker 2: and she has an anxiety disorder, and I am constantly

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Speaker 2: sort of thinking. And Peter will say to me, like,

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Speaker 2: I'll give you an example from me. Right when I

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Speaker 2: was brought up, I was not allowed to put my

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Speaker 2: finger in the batter, you know, when we're baking cakes.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't allowed to pinch food off, Like if there's

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Speaker 2: roast potatoes on the baking tray, I was allowed to

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Speaker 2: pinch food off the tray. I had to wait for

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Speaker 2: things to be dished up. And I know it's nothing major,

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Speaker 2: but now, like, I've got this thing about kids in

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Speaker 2: the kit I mean, I bake with the kids, and

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Speaker 2: the kids are cooking and stuff. But if somebody goes

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Speaker 2: to put a finger in the batter, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: I have this visceral reaction because because for me, that

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Speaker 2: was if that was something that I was really taught

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Speaker 2: not to do. And so I react to that and

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Speaker 2: and you know, and I have this I don't ever

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Speaker 2: think about germs per se. I mean, I'm not like

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Speaker 2: o c D about that. I've had my struggles with

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Speaker 2: OCD in the past, but I do think about the

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Speaker 2: fact that, oh my gosh, have they washed their hands

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Speaker 2: all the things that came up for me when I

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Speaker 2: was a kid. And Pete's like, and I'm like, sorry, guy,

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Speaker 2: sorry guys, because I'll react and Pete will say, we

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Speaker 2: don't want this to we don't want to create in

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Speaker 2: the kids what has happened for you kind of thing.

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Speaker 2: And it's again, it's low stakes. It's not a big deal,

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Speaker 2: but it's that easy. Like I get this, and there's

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Speaker 2: a name for it. I can't recall, you know, when

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Speaker 2: metal on metal, how are you with, like, you know,

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Speaker 2: if the the times on two forks get stuck together,

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Speaker 2: like I'm literally having chills now even thinking about it,

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Speaker 2: and I react and my daughter does too, And I

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Speaker 2: think that that's just a learned thing. Had I not

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Speaker 2: reacted every time that happened in the kitchen, she probably

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Speaker 2: wouldn't I that, But I guess all we can do

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Speaker 2: is kind of think, right, what is it about the

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Speaker 2: way I operate that I would like to be different

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Speaker 2: for my kids and to be open about it, Like

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Speaker 2: I've talked a lot about my mental health, and I guess,

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Speaker 2: you know, when these things are happening that example of

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Speaker 2: like fingers in the batter because we bake a bit

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Speaker 2: around here. I'm trying to make that change and almost

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Speaker 2: invite it now so that I can get used to it.

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Speaker 2: I can adapt, and you know other things, you know,

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Speaker 2: like our lifestyle habits we can pass on which are

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Speaker 2: absolutely fantastic, like exercise and alcohol. I've stopped drinking. I'm

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Speaker 2: a non drinker now, and I think that that's been

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Speaker 2: a lot of There's been a lot of conversations in

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Speaker 2: our house about alcohol and food choices and protein and

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Speaker 2: fruit and veggies and stuff. So it goes both ways.

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Speaker 2: Yes we pass stuff on. Yes we can't help it

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Speaker 2: pass on habits and choices and behaviors in our kids.

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Speaker 2: But we can be conscious about it for much of it,

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Speaker 2: and where we are struggling with things, we can just

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Speaker 2: talk about it and sort of say, hey, I don't

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Speaker 2: want this for you. You know, I had to make

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Speaker 2: my bed. I had to make my bed, and you're

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Speaker 2: not allowed to sit on my bed. If Mum vacuumed

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Speaker 2: the shag pile carpet, you're not allowed to walk on it.

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Speaker 2: She'd say, unless you learned to hover, you're not going

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Speaker 2: in that room. And I would walk on the furniture.

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Speaker 2: It was like everything had to be straight because she

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Speaker 2: had to manage your own anxiety like that. And then

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Speaker 2: the day Peter and I the first morning after making

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Speaker 2: the bed and he sat on it. I was like, no,

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Speaker 2: you can't sit on the bed. He's like, ah, I can,

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Speaker 2: and watch me and I'm like no, but I've just

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Speaker 2: made it and he's like and he's like, well, that's

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Speaker 2: not the way I was brought up. And feel free

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Speaker 2: to straighten it up again when I get up sitting

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Speaker 2: on it to put on my socks and then he'd

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Speaker 2: have you want to invite people around to our new home,

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Speaker 2: and I'll be like, but I haven't cleaned, but I

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Speaker 2: haven't planned it. But he goes, it's okay, it's okay

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Speaker 2: if you're not comfortable go out with your mates on

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Speaker 2: Saturday night, don't don't stress about it. But he kind

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Speaker 2: of helped me to learn to relax. So I've got

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Speaker 2: a lot of issues, clearly, but.

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Speaker 1: I think it's like, yeah, but if you're not comfortable,

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Speaker 1: that's okay. Be uncomfortable, and over time that will change.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm thinking as you're talking, you know, so

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Speaker 1: much of this show and your show and shows like

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Speaker 1: this are about learning, growing, evolving. Yeah, yeah, it's such

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Speaker 1: a huge part Also of growing and evolving is actually

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Speaker 1: about unlearning, Like what are the behaviors I need to unlearn?

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Speaker 1: What's the thinking I need to unlearn? What are my

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00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 1: beliefs that I need to put under a spotlight and

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Speaker 1: go do they serve me or sabotage me? Because you know,

378
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,240
Speaker 1: like when that is the lens through which you view

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Speaker 1: the world, that you can't sit on the bed lens

380
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 1: and get the fuck off, what are you doing? Right?

381
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:12,240
Speaker 1: That's a problematic lens because that makes you know one

382
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:17,320
Speaker 1: part of life hard and then you go, hang on, Okay,

383
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Speaker 1: what's the worst that can happen? Well, the bed's a

384
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Speaker 1: bit messy, Okay is that acceptable? I guess, so, all right,

385
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Speaker 1: well fuck that off. That doesn't serve me because not

386
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 1: only is not sitting on the bed is not only

387
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:33,480
Speaker 1: is sitting on the bed not a problem, but it's

388
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Speaker 1: also not a reason for internal chaos or anxiety, and

389
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Speaker 1: it's also not a reason to potentially have a problem

390
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Speaker 1: with your partner. And you're like, but I think the

391
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Speaker 1: thing is, doctor Jodi, is that this stuff is so

392
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Speaker 1: ingrained that we don't have that level of in the

393
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Speaker 1: moment awareness. And it's only when you step back now,

394
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Speaker 1: like you and me, where you're not you're not doing

395
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Speaker 1: that anymore. You're not in the bedroom, he's not sitting

396
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:07,480
Speaker 1: on the bed. But we're objectively analyzing a thing, or

397
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Speaker 1: as objective as we can be looking through the Craig

398
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:14,120
Speaker 1: and Jody windows of course, but yeah, it's like this

399
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:20,480
Speaker 1: is I guess for me, the beauty of self awareness

400
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:24,639
Speaker 1: is just trying to not judge, not criticize, not loathe,

401
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 1: not self loathe, but just go ah, why am I like,

402
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: why do I react that way? Why am I doing this?

403
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 1: Why am I saying this? Where is this coming from?

404
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 1: Does this way that I think does it actually help?

405
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 1: Does it serve me? Is it a positive? And if

406
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 1: it doesn't serve me? Good? So tick, let's recognize that.

407
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 1: Now what can I do to maybe reverse that or

408
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Speaker 1: undo that?

409
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Speaker 2: It's and it takes time. And like you say that

410
00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 2: awareness comes with mindful mode moments and not just kind

411
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 2: of sleepwalking through life, which is so easy to do this,

412
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,359
Speaker 2: you know, this busyness. I'm very conscious of how we

413
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 2: can just go through the day just kind of getting

414
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:17,000
Speaker 2: stuff done. And that was me yesterday. And I stop

415
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:20,119
Speaker 2: and think now that we're having this conversation about like

416
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Speaker 2: how much I've learned through my relationship with Peter and

417
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Speaker 2: how he's very you know, anxiety is not really kind

418
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Speaker 2: of something that he It's not something he struggles with obviously,

419
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:34,360
Speaker 2: like every human, he has his moments. Multi story car

420
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 2: parks is one of those trigger that for him. But

421
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 2: that the awareness is huge, and I think this idea

422
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Speaker 2: that we can we can do things differently, and it

423
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Speaker 2: is uncomfortable. It is so uncomfortable, And there was a

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Speaker 2: period of time where I just decided I am just

425
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Speaker 2: not going to make the bed at all. And there

426
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,879
Speaker 2: were months and I just got used to that. I

427
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,440
Speaker 2: just kind of taught myself. And it's saying it out

428
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:08,199
Speaker 2: loud sounds a bit pathetic because it's like, oh, like,

429
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:11,960
Speaker 2: but it was about control, and it was about order,

430
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 2: and it was about and I think, and I don't

431
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 2: just think. I know, And the science tells us when

432
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:20,960
Speaker 2: there is chaos around us, a mess, it does affect,

433
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:24,680
Speaker 2: especially when we're anxious. It does affect the way how

434
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:28,760
Speaker 2: you know, how clearly we can think, how settled we

435
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 2: are into the things that are you know, doing the

436
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 2: work that we need to do. And so many of

437
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 2: us need to kind of organize our space, to organize

438
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:42,119
Speaker 2: our minds. But I just unlearned those habits and that

439
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:45,119
Speaker 2: awareness to sort of say, how is this serving me?

440
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 2: How is this serving me? And why? And I had

441
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:54,919
Speaker 2: a really interesting conversation on my podcast about Christmas stress

442
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:59,640
Speaker 2: and family dynamics and my guess, Mariva Carcass. She said

443
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,439
Speaker 2: it was a really interesting and talking about perspective and

444
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:07,120
Speaker 2: the lens through which we're looking at things. She shared

445
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 2: this example about Christmas, about you know, one person, let's

446
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:15,359
Speaker 2: just say that the husband has wants to spend a

447
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 2: lot of money. Apparently hams can be very expensive one vegetarians,

448
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,480
Speaker 2: we don't need ham on Christmas Day, but you know,

449
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 2: once the most beautiful ham, the really expensive ham, the

450
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:29,920
Speaker 2: huge piece of ham. The table has to be set

451
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 2: a certain way, certain foods need to be included, things

452
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 2: need to be just so. And then the partner's saying,

453
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 2: but the ham's too much. You know, things are a

454
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 2: bit tight. Why can't we just get the supermarket one

455
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:45,399
Speaker 2: or go with a roast couple of roast chooks this

456
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,879
Speaker 2: year instead? And that they ends up being tension and

457
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:54,199
Speaker 2: maybe even really significant arguments over over the ham. She's like,

458
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 2: it's not about the ham. It comes back to what

459
00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:00,439
Speaker 2: are our beliefs around Christmas Day? For example, what have

460
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 2: we been raised with, what's important to us about the day.

461
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 2: It's probably not about the ham. It might be about

462
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:10,639
Speaker 2: spoiling people. It might be about feeling like our Christmas

463
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:12,480
Speaker 2: will be less than in the eyes of other people

464
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,760
Speaker 2: that are coming if we don't kind of do things

465
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:16,920
Speaker 2: the way we've always done them. So it's not really

466
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 2: about the thing we often think it's about. It can

467
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,879
Speaker 2: be about the things that are kind of come with

468
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 2: us through our childhood and through all of our experiences

469
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,359
Speaker 2: that kind of culminate in an argument about the one

470
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:32,439
Speaker 2: hundred dollar ham versus the fifteen dollar one. It's not

471
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:36,479
Speaker 2: about the ham, and it just like I think about,

472
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,359
Speaker 2: I'm trying to bring that thinking to other things in

473
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,879
Speaker 2: my life, like what is this really about? And the

474
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,959
Speaker 2: question you ask, does it serve me? It's such a

475
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 2: it's a question we can all ask, and hopefully with

476
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 2: some time off over the coming weeks, we might all

477
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:53,719
Speaker 2: have some time to sort of think about what are

478
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 2: we doing that's serving us and what are we doing

479
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:59,360
Speaker 2: that's not. And I'm not talking about news resolutions. I'm

480
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:04,399
Speaker 2: talking about long term kind of reflection opportunities and trying

481
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:06,480
Speaker 2: to make change over time that's going to serve us

482
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:09,920
Speaker 2: well and better in terms of our lifestyle and our

483
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 2: health and our mental health as well.

484
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 1: I think I'm always amazed at how adaptable and resilient

485
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 1: and incredible people can be when they have to be right. So,

486
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,280
Speaker 1: my mum's best friend who's like my second mom, she's

487
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:31,640
Speaker 1: very unwell at the moment. Shout out. Her name's Ray

488
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:36,120
Speaker 1: shout out to Ray and she's very unwell, and there's

489
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 1: just a lot of tough stuff going on at the moment,

490
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 1: really tough stuff. But let me tell you she's got

491
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 1: four daughters. Yeah, everyone's fucking amazing. Like, no one's complaining,

492
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 1: no one's no one's sinking, everyone's just stepping up. Everyone's

493
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 1: just you know, it's like, sometimes we can turn a

494
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 1: one out of ten minor problem into an fifteen out

495
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:07,520
Speaker 1: of ten catastrophe, and then other times, when we really

496
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:12,640
Speaker 1: are confronted with something incredibly difficult, there's something in us

497
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:15,959
Speaker 1: that goes, well, I can't have a breakdown because all

498
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: this stuff needs to get done. I need to solve

499
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:22,239
Speaker 1: this problem. I need to be this person I don't have,

500
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 1: Like if I'm not resilient now shit won't happen. So

501
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,880
Speaker 1: I need to be. And so I have this awareness

502
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:33,160
Speaker 1: that while you know, faced with the one out of

503
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 1: ten minor issue, that really isn't a problem, but we

504
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:40,280
Speaker 1: can create a problem, like we can fucking invent problems

505
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 1: where none exist. Yet what is encouraging for me is,

506
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 1: you know, not everyone. Of course, some people do fall

507
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 1: apart understandably, no judgment, that's just what happens. But also

508
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 1: at the same time, you know, average people with respect

509
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 1: in inverted commas, I'm an average person. I'm not special.

510
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:06,080
Speaker 1: Average or typical or normal people can do fucking incredibly atypical, heroic,

511
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 1: incredible things when they just have to. So I find that, Yeah, that,

512
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 1: and it's interesting. And it's like, then you're having a

513
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 1: meltdown or you were at one stage over the fucking bed, right,

514
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 1: yet get put in something which doesn't even compare something

515
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: horrible and terrible and potentially life threatening. I have no

516
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 1: doubt that you would just step up and do what

517
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 1: needed to be done, and you wouldn't say I'm too

518
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 1: anxious to deal with this. You just fucking deal with it. Yea.

519
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 1: And I think this, like this awareness of how much

520
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 1: capacity we have, like how much like peoples not misrepresent

521
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 1: misunderstand me, like so many people think, but you're so smart,

522
00:30:56,840 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 1: you're so you're so fuck so talented. You just I'm like, no,

523
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:06,480
Speaker 1: I'm not, No, I'm not like I'm I'm I struggled

524
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 1: at school, I struggled socially, socially, I struggled with my

525
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 1: body and my health. The fucking nothing was easy. Yeah,

526
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 1: you know, my first degree I did at thirty six,

527
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 1: and I was terrified for the first six months. I

528
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 1: started my PhD at fifty six, also terrified, Still terrified. Right,

529
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 1: none of this is easy or painless. Like the only

530
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 1: thing that I'm pretty good at and comfortable with is

531
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,520
Speaker 1: what we're doing right now, which is just chatting to humans.

532
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, but all of the other stuff, you know.

533
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 1: But my point is this, we can do incredible shit

534
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,720
Speaker 1: when we don't let ourselves get in the way. Yeah,

535
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 1: when we don't let our programming and conditioning and fear

536
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 1: and stories and internal bullshit. Like I so many people

537
00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 1: I meet, their genetics are not the problem, Their potential

538
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 1: not the problem. Their brain is not the problem in

539
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 1: terms of their IQ, their intellect, their resources. It's like

540
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 1: all their thinking, like they're thinking is basically a psychological

541
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:15,520
Speaker 1: and emotional prison. And then they wake up and they're fifty.

542
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 2: I know, I know, I know. I'm thinking a lot

543
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 2: about this at fifty myself, and thinking about and yeah,

544
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,480
Speaker 2: thinking about the fact that time is just passing by

545
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 2: so fast, and if you're it just pains me that people,

546
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 2: so many people will wake up when they're fifty, think

547
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 2: about something now and then blink and they're sixty and

548
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:48,120
Speaker 2: have so much regret. I was having a chat with

549
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:52,120
Speaker 2: my friend Sale a few days ago, and we were

550
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 2: just talking about what if I was giveing a you

551
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 2: to live, What would be really important for me to

552
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 2: get done? What would I want to not die having

553
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 2: not done? That's too many negatives? What do I want

554
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 2: to do before I die? And I got thinking about

555
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:10,479
Speaker 2: this a lot, because I, like you said, about stepping up,

556
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 2: we are going to try not to get upset. But

557
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:18,960
Speaker 2: I lost my dear aunt recently, twenty seventh of October.

558
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 2: She passed away and it was a shock. She had

559
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 2: a stroke. She had that thunderclap headache. I hadn't heard

560
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 2: of that before, but she had a massive stroke. And

561
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 2: like you say about stepping up, like her family's all

562
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:38,040
Speaker 2: around the world for us, She's one of seven kids.

563
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 2: Mum and I are the closest, and my other Arnie,

564
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,000
Speaker 2: and we just like we were just like right. I

565
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,360
Speaker 2: left an event, actually, Craig, I was leaving an event

566
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:49,720
Speaker 2: Relate a Relate event for eighty nine point nine. The

567
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 2: light and my phone rang at eleven o'clock. Driving home,

568
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,640
Speaker 2: I thought Mum's ringing to keep me company on the

569
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 2: drive home. No Mum was ringing me to tell me

570
00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 2: the news, and so we basically in the middle of

571
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 2: the night at the hospital at the Alfred, came home,

572
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 2: I took the kids to school, back to the Alfred

573
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:06,480
Speaker 2: at the Alfred almost every day as you would be,

574
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:10,400
Speaker 2: and thankfully Annie Jenny regained consciousness. We had lots of

575
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 2: chances to chat and everything, and unfortunately, you know, it

576
00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:17,920
Speaker 2: was just too severe a stroke. But it certainly speaks

577
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:21,319
Speaker 2: to your point of the stepping up that happens when

578
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:25,759
Speaker 2: the shit hits the fan is phenomenal and everybody did it.

579
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 2: But also this idea that this mortality. We don't talk

580
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 2: about death enough. We don't. We don't want to think

581
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:34,920
Speaker 2: about it. It's going to happen for all of us,

582
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 2: don't We don't want to really kind of spend too

583
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:43,440
Speaker 2: much time in that space because it's it's worrying, it's frightening,

584
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,000
Speaker 2: and I want to come back. I want you. I

585
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:47,919
Speaker 2: want to talk about a question you asked me last

586
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:49,400
Speaker 2: time that I didn't answer, and I come up with

587
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 2: an answer about what do I need to do that

588
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,080
Speaker 2: takes courage and it's related to this. I want to

589
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 2: talk about that before we finish. But sal and I

590
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,239
Speaker 2: were talking about what do we want to do, what

591
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,319
Speaker 2: kind of is really important for us? And I think

592
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:04,680
Speaker 2: we don't know how much toimey. If we keep putting

593
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 2: it off, it's never going to feel easier. Like you say,

594
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:10,400
Speaker 2: it's just about kind of making a start, and it's

595
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:13,879
Speaker 2: the consistency. It's the consistency of stepping forward each day.

596
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 2: Like you like you. You're so inspiring because of the fact,

597
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,360
Speaker 2: I mean, I think you're an incredible human and that

598
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:26,520
Speaker 2: the things that you've achieved are phenomenal. Like you say,

599
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:29,960
Speaker 2: it hasn't come easy. It's just this is something that's important.

600
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:31,399
Speaker 2: I'm going to do it, and I'm going to put

601
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,319
Speaker 2: one foot in in front of the other and just

602
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:37,440
Speaker 2: keep going. And it's amazing. We underestimate what we can

603
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,880
Speaker 2: do in twelve months of just putting one foot in

604
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:43,120
Speaker 2: front of the other. I think it's so important. And

605
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:44,840
Speaker 2: if you're listening and you're thinking of the things that

606
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 2: you wanted to do over the last ten years, you

607
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 2: haven't done it. Please don't wait for it to feel easier,

608
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:52,719
Speaker 2: or to be less anxious, or to you know, to

609
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:57,759
Speaker 2: have someone guide you. Just buddy start, because eventually like

610
00:35:57,800 --> 00:35:59,719
Speaker 2: for my gorgeous anti Jen. I've been on the phone

611
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:02,320
Speaker 2: with a on the Sunday booking tickets for an event

612
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:04,719
Speaker 2: that we're going to go to us. You know, we

613
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:06,879
Speaker 2: spent a lot of time together and Tuesday she had

614
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 2: this stroke. She never left the hospital. You just don't

615
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:11,640
Speaker 2: know what's going to happen.

616
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:17,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so true. God bless her and Arnie Jenny.

617
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 1: A few weeks ago. This sounds unrelated, but just in

618
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:25,359
Speaker 1: terms of just just going I will just do it.

619
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 1: Like I did a little chat about this on the show,

620
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 1: but I don't know if you saw it, but my

621
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:36,880
Speaker 1: phone told me about three weeks ago Joe basically that

622
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 1: I'm fat and lazy like it. It gave me alert

623
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 1: and I saw that, yeah, basically get off your ass, right,

624
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,920
Speaker 1: And I looked at it, and generally I used to

625
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 1: walk like I guess somewhere between five and ten thousand

626
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 1: seven six, but for quite a long time because I

627
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 1: live at this fucking desk, you know, researching, studying, writing, recording,

628
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:04,520
Speaker 1: doing business doing, coaching, doing workshops at this desk because

629
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 1: I do so much shit online, right, but it doesn't

630
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,799
Speaker 1: mean I can't Anyway, I looked at that and I

631
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 1: was averaging something like four and a half thousands. I'm like,

632
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,839
Speaker 1: am I a plant? Am I A yuck? Am I

633
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 1: A fuck? Am I a rose bush? And I went,

634
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 1: that's it, that's it. And I just I went, that's it.

635
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 1: So from now I've got to do minimum of ten. Right,

636
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:31,319
Speaker 1: So in the last three weeks, I've averaged just under

637
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 1: fifteen thousand. So and I'm not saying, am I an

638
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 1: I good? Because anyone can do that, right. It is

639
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,759
Speaker 1: just literally it's not like, oh yeah, but you're genetically

640
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 1: equipped to no. And I'm sixty one, like me walking

641
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:49,839
Speaker 1: fifteen thousand steps a day and I'm pretty much a bodybuilder.

642
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:54,320
Speaker 1: I'm not a cardio king, right, So but here's my point.

643
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 1: Something in my brain went, you need to change, and

644
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:01,360
Speaker 1: not one day and not soon, and not when you're motivated,

645
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,960
Speaker 1: and not when summer comes and not you need to

646
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 1: fucking change today. And so I just went, okay, and

647
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:11,759
Speaker 1: now like this morning, it's so we're recording this, it's

648
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 1: ten twenty eight. I would say I've probably done seven

649
00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: thousand already and I'll do today at least fifteen. And

650
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:21,960
Speaker 1: it's not oh, You're terrific, it's just like, no, this matters,

651
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 1: and I need to do this. And yes it's inconvenient

652
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,759
Speaker 1: because I've got lots of other shits, but I need

653
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:30,359
Speaker 1: to figure out a way. So I'm, as I said

654
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 1: in the thing, I'm now coaching people while I'm walking.

655
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:37,200
Speaker 1: Oh love it. So all of the zoom coaching that

656
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:41,520
Speaker 1: I do, I'm now doing on WhatsApp video and walking.

657
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,320
Speaker 1: So you know, obviously I'm not walking in high traffic

658
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 1: areas and I'm not going to get run over. But

659
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,880
Speaker 1: here's my point, Like, it is not about you know,

660
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 1: if you spend your life waiting for better genetics or

661
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 1: more time, or the perfect situation or the perfect conditions

662
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 1: or the perfect environment. For most people, it will not happen.

663
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:06,359
Speaker 1: But as you know, as we said a minute ago,

664
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 1: when the shit hits the fan and there is like

665
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 1: it has to be now. There is no other time.

666
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:14,280
Speaker 1: There's only now. Because the shit's happening now, you can't

667
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:17,240
Speaker 1: wait for more talent or more courage or more time.

668
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:19,880
Speaker 1: Like you're just fucking doing it now, will you just

669
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 1: do it? And you do it because there's part of

670
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,719
Speaker 1: your brain that goes, well, Craig, this isn't optional. Now,

671
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:30,600
Speaker 1: imagine if every listener, that's underwalking just as a thought experiment.

672
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 1: Like people when I need to double my steps too, Well,

673
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,520
Speaker 1: imagine if in your mind you truly believe that there

674
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 1: was no option, and so from tomorrow you had to

675
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 1: double your steps and you had to find a way,

676
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 1: like there was no other choice. Well, we just don't

677
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:47,839
Speaker 1: find a way. We just all find a way. But

678
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 1: the truth is we don't have to. We don't have

679
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,319
Speaker 1: to be courageous, we don't have to walk more, we

680
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,080
Speaker 1: don't have to make a decision, we don't have to

681
00:39:57,200 --> 00:40:00,280
Speaker 1: change our diet today. We don't have to conf aren't

682
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 1: that thing? We don't have to And this is the

683
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:06,000
Speaker 1: problem because the thing that we need to do is

684
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 1: not the thing we want to do, and the thing

685
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:12,000
Speaker 1: that creates change is generally, as everyone fucking knows, I

686
00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 1: beg But there's no other truth that it's hard, it's uncomfortable,

687
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 1: it's inconvenient. And so while we consciously understand that, we

688
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 1: subconsciously wait for the perfect conditions and then boom we're fifty,

689
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 1: we do.

690
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 2: And honestly, my brother's arriving from London today. I'm so excited, Craig.

691
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:32,680
Speaker 2: He's going to stay here for five weeks and I

692
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,239
Speaker 2: just adore him and really look up to him, and

693
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:39,359
Speaker 2: I'll never forget this is pre kids hanging out washing

694
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 2: outside here at home, Like I've got this picture in

695
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:44,319
Speaker 2: my mind because it was such a pivotal moment. And

696
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 2: I when I started studying, I've done my PhD and everything,

697
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 2: and I just started becoming really interested in psychology and

698
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:59,319
Speaker 2: behavioral change and positive psychology and happiness science and all that.

699
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:04,279
Speaker 2: And I really wanted to contact the co owner of

700
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:08,200
Speaker 2: the Hot Springs Peninsula Hot Springs, Charles Davidson, because I've

701
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:10,600
Speaker 2: been to a breakfast networking event to hear him speak,

702
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:13,359
Speaker 2: and he said, if you've got something that you want

703
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:17,840
Speaker 2: to achieve, accomplished, to build, create, you've got to tell people.

704
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:21,279
Speaker 2: Because when you tell people, people might go, I know

705
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 2: someone you should talk to, or or they might just

706
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:27,000
Speaker 2: support you. But best case scenarios, they might make a

707
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:29,719
Speaker 2: connection or And I said to Adam, I want to

708
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 2: I want to create this happiness retreat. I want to

709
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:34,320
Speaker 2: call it the Happiness Retreat. I want to deliver it

710
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 2: at the Hot Springs. And I want to ask because

711
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 2: because Charles said, if you want to do something to

712
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 2: tell someone, I'm like, I want to tell him this

713
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:43,520
Speaker 2: is what I want to do, and I'm pretty much thinking,

714
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 2: how could he say no? Because he's the one that

715
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:49,600
Speaker 2: gave that advice, you know. Anyway, Adam said to me

716
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:52,239
Speaker 2: when I was I said, I'm just I feel so

717
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:56,840
Speaker 2: anxious about it. And he said, having courage does not

718
00:41:57,080 --> 00:42:00,759
Speaker 2: mean you are not frightened about what you're about to do.

719
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:03,000
Speaker 2: He said, that is not what courage is. It is

720
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 2: knowing how terrified you are of doing something and doing

721
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 2: it anyway. I mean, it's not a new quote, it's

722
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:13,200
Speaker 2: not new advice. But it was in that moment that

723
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,040
Speaker 2: I realized that I'd been waiting. I had been waiting,

724
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 2: and I picked up the darn phone and lo and behold,

725
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 2: he said, I'd love to meet for a coffee. Long

726
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:25,240
Speaker 2: story short. Ten years later, I did the Happiness Retreat,

727
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:29,240
Speaker 2: I did other public facing things. Somebody recommended me because

728
00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 2: of my work. Eventually I ended up writing a book

729
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,359
Speaker 2: with the person I did the next lot of work with.

730
00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 2: Now I've got two books and my own business, and

731
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:41,080
Speaker 2: I'm just had I not made that phone call, had

732
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 2: I not made that step, all of these other steps

733
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 2: which have been haven't been easy. You know, I might

734
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:49,880
Speaker 2: be still sitting around. I might be outside today pecking

735
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 2: out the washing, thinking, gee, I really like to make

736
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:55,000
Speaker 2: this phone call, you know, and all of a sudden,

737
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:58,560
Speaker 2: ten years later, here I am because of that phone

738
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 2: call that I made, and so yeah, it's you know.

739
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 1: It's great. I think also in the middle of your

740
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:11,440
Speaker 1: shitty self esteem and your shitty self doubt, and you go, okay, well,

741
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:13,799
Speaker 1: I'll make a phone call anyway, and maybe it won't work,

742
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:15,680
Speaker 1: and if it doesn't work, that's okay. And if it

743
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:18,680
Speaker 1: does work, boom. And if it doesn't work, I'll try

744
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:21,840
Speaker 1: something else. And if that doesn't work, I'll try something else.

745
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 1: And if people reject me, that's cool. Some people will

746
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,759
Speaker 1: love me. And if I fall down, that's cool. I'll

747
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 1: get up. And if I have a bad day, that's cool.

748
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:31,080
Speaker 1: I'll have a good day one day. Like this is

749
00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 1: the journey. This is the journey is navigating bullshit, you know,

750
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:40,600
Speaker 1: navigating mayhem and mess and or most of the things

751
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:43,840
Speaker 1: on planet Craig that impact me or intersect with me,

752
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:47,959
Speaker 1: or influence me or in my orbit, most of them

753
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 1: I can't control most yeah, yeah, So what I do

754
00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:55,600
Speaker 1: is I control the things I can and I adapt

755
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:57,680
Speaker 1: around the things that I can't and I ask good

756
00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 1: questions and I try to be a good human. You know,

757
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:03,640
Speaker 1: but this is you know, you're not going to get

758
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 1: more talent. You can get more skill and more understanding

759
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:09,040
Speaker 1: and awareness. You're not going to get more hours in

760
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 1: a day. You're not going to get better genetics. You're

761
00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:12,920
Speaker 1: not going to wind back the clock. You're not going

762
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 1: to be forty in five years. So we go, all right, well,

763
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:20,960
Speaker 1: these are nones, these are certainties. So with all of

764
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 1: that in mind, what's possible? You know, what can you do?

765
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 2: What?

766
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,879
Speaker 1: What can can you? Can you go for walk today? Yes?

767
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:30,880
Speaker 1: Could you? Could you do some push ups against the

768
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:34,239
Speaker 1: kitchen bench? Like two? Could you join a gym and

769
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:36,720
Speaker 1: sit on an exercise bike? Could you afford two dollars

770
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 1: fifty a day? Because that's pretty much what could you

771
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:42,040
Speaker 1: do that? Well? Yeah? Cool? Could you? Could you make

772
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:44,759
Speaker 1: a phone call and apologize or ask a question? Or

773
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 1: could you enroll in a SERP three or two or

774
00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:50,279
Speaker 1: one in something? Could you read a book? Could you

775
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:53,239
Speaker 1: like the answer? There will be a question that the

776
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:56,120
Speaker 1: answer is yes, and you go, fuck, well done, let's

777
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:59,920
Speaker 1: do that. Because it's not even about doing the course

778
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:03,880
Speaker 1: or or building the business. It's about who you become

779
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 1: when you're doing the course. It's about who you become

780
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:08,480
Speaker 1: when you write the book, when you start the well

781
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:13,279
Speaker 1: Hello Anxiety podcast. It's about who you become on the journey.

782
00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 1: You know. For me, the new project has been an

783
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:21,719
Speaker 1: absolute blessing and a gift. And I you know, I'm

784
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:25,759
Speaker 1: super fortunate that I'm partnered with Nova, your partner with

785
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 1: Life FM. We're both, you know, super lucky, and we've

786
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,799
Speaker 1: both worked hard though. But for me, truly, the joy

787
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:34,719
Speaker 1: is the people I meet. The joy is this conversation.

788
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:38,000
Speaker 1: The joy is meeting people from all over that I

789
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 1: would never even get an appointment with. I wouldn't even

790
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:44,320
Speaker 1: get an appointment with half of the people that I

791
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:48,360
Speaker 1: talked to, if not, if not for this thing, that

792
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:53,960
Speaker 1: this vehicle that just opens doors, this conduit to fucking

793
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 1: learning and growth. And you know, but even with this,

794
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:59,320
Speaker 1: it's like, well, nobody knocked on the door and said, Craig,

795
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:00,719
Speaker 1: here's a successful show.

796
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 2: No, this is your fifth podcast, isn't it, Yes, it's

797
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:05,760
Speaker 2: your fifth?

798
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:10,359
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Even last year I started a new show

799
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:13,280
Speaker 1: called Life which I did two hundred daily episodes straight

800
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:16,040
Speaker 1: and it was. It was good. But I was doing

801
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:20,200
Speaker 1: fourteen podcasts a week, and I'm like, okay, and you

802
00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:23,000
Speaker 1: get to the point where it was sponsored, it was

803
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,080
Speaker 1: on the Nova platform. It was good and it was

804
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:30,279
Speaker 1: going better than the average podcast. But I'm like, yeah,

805
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:33,279
Speaker 1: this is okay. I learned something. What I learned is

806
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:35,479
Speaker 1: I do not want to do fourteen episodes a week.

807
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:39,560
Speaker 1: I can, I can, I don't want to. Hey, we're

808
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:43,480
Speaker 1: going to wind up, but tell people so Jody's podcast

809
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 1: is brilliant. She's brilliance called well, hello anxiety. What else

810
00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:48,600
Speaker 1: do you want to?

811
00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 2: Oh?

812
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:52,160
Speaker 1: You wanted to answer a question? All right?

813
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:57,600
Speaker 2: Have you got last time? Thank you last time? When

814
00:46:57,760 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 2: you asked me what it is in the coming months

815
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 2: that I need to find courage for? And I decided

816
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,120
Speaker 2: that I couldn't answer the question, probably in that I

817
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:07,840
Speaker 2: probably needed to do something that was going to be

818
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:11,399
Speaker 2: hard because I couldn't come up. Nothing came to mind

819
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:14,280
Speaker 2: until we got off the call, and I thought, actually,

820
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:17,000
Speaker 2: there is something very big that I need to find

821
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,640
Speaker 2: courage for and it's taking a bit of courage for

822
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:21,360
Speaker 2: me to share it. And I've thought about whether or

823
00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:24,160
Speaker 2: not I'll tell you this, and of course I am.

824
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:29,760
Speaker 2: I I bow cancer runs in my family, and I'm

825
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:33,239
Speaker 2: quite happy. Helped saying I'm quite healthy. And while I

826
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:35,359
Speaker 2: don't have a diagnosis a bow cancer, that's not where

827
00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:37,680
Speaker 2: I'm going, but it runs in my family. And so

828
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 2: I've been having preventative checks colonoscopies. Joy oh, Joy. And

829
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:46,560
Speaker 2: the last one I had, Craig was six months ago,

830
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:49,439
Speaker 2: and I've just had another one and it was really

831
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 2: good news. But the last one I had, I got

832
00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 2: diagnosed with this syndrome that trooples my risk of bow cancer. Wow.

833
00:47:55,719 --> 00:48:00,719
Speaker 2: And it was a long colonoscopy. Came out of it

834
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:05,400
Speaker 2: feeling terrible physically, very frightened emotionally getting the news that

835
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:08,399
Speaker 2: you've got this syndrome. It's genetic. There's nothing you can

836
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:12,879
Speaker 2: do about it, like literally diet, exercise, you know. And

837
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:16,320
Speaker 2: one of the things that in my follow up appointment

838
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:19,279
Speaker 2: with my gastorinrologist, he said, I want to refer you

839
00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 2: to familial cancer genetic screening, And basically what that means

840
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:31,080
Speaker 2: is they do a blood test and determine what cancers

841
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:31,719
Speaker 2: you're at risk of.

842
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:33,480
Speaker 1: And I.

843
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:38,880
Speaker 2: Was terrified by that idea because I thought, gosh, and

844
00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:40,879
Speaker 2: that was a thing. When I got off the call,

845
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:42,799
Speaker 2: I sort of thought, geez, actually, that is something I'm

846
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:44,920
Speaker 2: really struggling with at the moment. Do I want to know?

847
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 2: Do I want to know? Yes, I want to know. Yes,

848
00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:52,200
Speaker 2: I should know. Do I want to know? That's terrifying me. Anyway,

849
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:57,279
Speaker 2: I had the conversation the consult with the through Monash,

850
00:48:57,360 --> 00:49:00,279
Speaker 2: through the Monash Hospital, and she said, it it's not

851
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:03,160
Speaker 2: all cancers, it's bow cancers, and we determine what you're

852
00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:05,839
Speaker 2: at risk of to kind of help me know how

853
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 2: frequently I need to have my colonoscopies for the rest

854
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:11,439
Speaker 2: of my life. And I said yes to that. I yes,

855
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 2: I definitely want to know. It's you know, I don't

856
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:16,520
Speaker 2: know what the news is going to be, but I

857
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:20,000
Speaker 2: can't change the outcome. I cannot control what my genetics are,

858
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:23,120
Speaker 2: but learning about them can help me control other things.

859
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:25,160
Speaker 2: And it's good for my kids to know, et cetera,

860
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:27,560
Speaker 2: et cetera. And so I wanted to share with you.

861
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:31,239
Speaker 2: I wanted to share that with you because because I

862
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:37,160
Speaker 2: want people listening to know that, you know, this idea

863
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:43,040
Speaker 2: that our coming back to mortality coming back to you know,

864
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:45,399
Speaker 2: like what happened with Annie Jenny, you know obviously, and

865
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:47,920
Speaker 2: I know Ray's not well. You've got somebody very specially

866
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:50,880
Speaker 2: in your life, and I know you know your dad's

867
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 2: had a heart attack, you know, sort of in the

868
00:49:52,719 --> 00:49:56,240
Speaker 2: in the recent past. And you know our aging parents

869
00:49:56,239 --> 00:50:01,000
Speaker 2: that you know, they're giving us lots lots of sleepless

870
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:03,839
Speaker 2: nights and things. And the reason I wanted to share

871
00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 2: this with you is because having these tests, having these screenings,

872
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:11,840
Speaker 2: you know, for our skin and I know I've spoken

873
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:15,680
Speaker 2: about this before, but for our bowhouth. You know, the

874
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 2: fifty year olds get you get it literally on your

875
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:20,640
Speaker 2: birthday note to say we're sending you a bower screening test.

876
00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:23,360
Speaker 2: I know of someone who had that sitting around for

877
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:26,960
Speaker 2: eighteen months and now has stage four bow cancer and

878
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 2: could have done something about it. And I guess this

879
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:33,960
Speaker 2: is kind of another public service announcement for you know,

880
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:37,399
Speaker 2: get your boobs checked, ladies, get your bows checked, if

881
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:41,400
Speaker 2: you you know, get your colonoscopies, get your skin checks.

882
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:45,840
Speaker 2: It's frightening, it's anxiety provoking. Yes, they might find something.

883
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:48,480
Speaker 2: What if they find something. If they find something, you

884
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:52,800
Speaker 2: can do something about it. Bow cancer doesn't occur overnight.

885
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:55,320
Speaker 2: It takes years for polyps to turn into bow cancer

886
00:50:56,040 --> 00:50:58,239
Speaker 2: if you find if they find polyps, they can take

887
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:02,400
Speaker 2: them out. Not knowing is not going to change the situation.

888
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:05,879
Speaker 2: And you know, I'm in a good position. I've had

889
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:10,000
Speaker 2: my next one just a week ago, and the gastor

890
00:51:10,080 --> 00:51:11,839
Speaker 2: in trologist said, don't need to see you for a year,

891
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:15,360
Speaker 2: and I'm like, yes, that is awesome. But I'm in

892
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:18,520
Speaker 2: a more empowered position. And so it wasn't that I

893
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:20,800
Speaker 2: thought of this last time and didn't have the courage

894
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:23,719
Speaker 2: to say. And I'm not embarrassed at all about it.

895
00:51:23,719 --> 00:51:27,400
Speaker 2: It's just a part of my lot and at least

896
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:29,680
Speaker 2: me going through this and sharing about it, which I

897
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:34,440
Speaker 2: like to be really authentic, can hopefully make a difference

898
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 2: for other people. Because you know, something's going to catch

899
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:40,960
Speaker 2: up with this inevitably. Why don't we see what we

900
00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:42,840
Speaker 2: can catch early and do something about so that we

901
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:46,520
Speaker 2: give ourselves more time, more and more health over the

902
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 2: years to come. So, yeah, I wanted to answer that

903
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:52,680
Speaker 2: question for you this time because I couldn't answer it

904
00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:55,080
Speaker 2: in a really important way last time.

905
00:51:55,880 --> 00:52:00,400
Speaker 1: Well good answer and good answer, but great community servicenouncement

906
00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 1: as well. And it's it's true it's it's we do

907
00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:08,799
Speaker 1: have a real tendency to be reactive, not proactive. And

908
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:12,440
Speaker 1: the thing is, you know, as the doc said, it's

909
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:17,080
Speaker 1: it's when we catch something in its infancy, the chances

910
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:21,799
Speaker 1: of surviving and thriving are exponentially greater. Y you know.

911
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:27,160
Speaker 1: And it's like, yeah, it's if you've got something, you've

912
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:32,080
Speaker 1: got it, not knowing about it does not help. It's

913
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:36,880
Speaker 1: like not knowing won't make it go away. Yeah, So

914
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:39,879
Speaker 1: even though you don't want anything, and there's let's hope

915
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:43,480
Speaker 1: that all of you listening, there's there's nothing that comes

916
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:45,640
Speaker 1: up bad when you go to get whatever done, and

917
00:52:45,680 --> 00:52:48,560
Speaker 1: it probably will be good for most, if not all,

918
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:51,919
Speaker 1: of you. But on the off chance I'm with you,

919
00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:55,840
Speaker 1: I get. I mean, I think I've probably know I

920
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:59,200
Speaker 1: had about six things cut off my skin recently. I've

921
00:52:59,239 --> 00:53:03,200
Speaker 1: had over thirty skin cancers, basil cell carcinomas, squamous sells,

922
00:53:03,239 --> 00:53:06,680
Speaker 1: a whole lot of different things. At fourteen stitches in

923
00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:09,560
Speaker 1: my forehead or eleven or twelve like recently, you know,

924
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:12,800
Speaker 1: it's like, but if I don't go and get tested

925
00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:16,400
Speaker 1: and I don't get that shit cutout, that's that's gonna

926
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:20,160
Speaker 1: kill me. And so better. It's like scars are cool

927
00:53:20,719 --> 00:53:25,080
Speaker 1: and the moment if you're a sixty year old dude, maybe,

928
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:28,400
Speaker 1: but we're going to go tell people how to connect,

929
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:30,280
Speaker 1: tell people how to find you and connect.

930
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:34,840
Speaker 2: Oh, doctor Jodi Richardson dot com, dot a you online,

931
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 2: d jod I Richardson, Yeah, thank you, Craig. Honestly like, yeah, sorry.

932
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:44,880
Speaker 2: On my website you'll find my podcast and my speaking offerings.

933
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:47,359
Speaker 2: I've got more coming. I'm really excited about some new

934
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:50,719
Speaker 2: kind of presentations I've got the next year, which I

935
00:53:50,719 --> 00:53:55,960
Speaker 2: won't reveal now. But yeah, I am just loving where

936
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:59,360
Speaker 2: things are at with my ability to support people and

937
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:01,319
Speaker 2: make a difference for them. And I'm getting so many

938
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:04,840
Speaker 2: lovely testimonials. So I created a testimonial's page, Craig, because

939
00:54:04,840 --> 00:54:06,839
Speaker 2: I thought it'd be nice to share the lovely things

940
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:10,840
Speaker 2: people are saying. So but yeah, Instagram, follow me on

941
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:12,759
Speaker 2: Instagram if you want to sort of connect as well.

942
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:15,600
Speaker 2: And DM, if you go for a go for a

943
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:19,520
Speaker 2: scan because of this conversation, let me know, because yeah,

944
00:54:19,560 --> 00:54:21,919
Speaker 2: it's I think, yeah, and talk to your family about

945
00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:24,040
Speaker 2: that as well. Just encourage the people in your life

946
00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:27,359
Speaker 2: to do the things that are uncomfortable but might make

947
00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:30,239
Speaker 2: a difference. So yeah, Craig, it's just such a joy

948
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:32,120
Speaker 2: to talk to you. I always look forward to and

949
00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:34,560
Speaker 2: I always sorry when these episodes come to an end.

950
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 2: The first episode, the first recording, I was delighted when

951
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:39,160
Speaker 2: it came to an end, but now I feel different.

952
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:44,000
Speaker 1: Well, we love you, hey, and heads up, listeners. I've

953
00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:45,720
Speaker 1: got two things I want to tell you. The first

954
00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:47,799
Speaker 1: thing is, and I haven't shared this anywhere, but.

955
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:48,080
Speaker 2: I'm going to.

956
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:53,279
Speaker 1: This is a newsflash here. So next year, I've got

957
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:56,080
Speaker 1: about six to eight people that I love, that are brilliant,

958
00:54:56,080 --> 00:55:01,360
Speaker 1: that have got great talent and always always bring something

959
00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:03,839
Speaker 1: amazing to the show. And doctor Jody is one of those.

960
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:06,200
Speaker 1: And doctor Jody is going to be a regular next year,

961
00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:08,440
Speaker 1: along with about We're probably all up going to have

962
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:11,920
Speaker 1: maybe ten regulars, of which Jody is on that team.

963
00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:14,560
Speaker 1: Super gracious and kind and so you're going to hear

964
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:16,879
Speaker 1: a fair bit of her, and we're going to we're

965
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:20,640
Speaker 1: consciously going to every time next year pick a topic.

966
00:55:21,080 --> 00:55:22,520
Speaker 1: None of them are going to be We're not going

967
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 1: to do one topic the same. So however many we do,

968
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:28,799
Speaker 1: how many are we doing next year? Did I can't

969
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:30,840
Speaker 1: remember I haven't looked.

970
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:32,600
Speaker 2: I haven't looked at your calendar and booked any in yet,

971
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:34,239
Speaker 2: but you just tell me the number and I'll lock

972
00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:36,000
Speaker 2: them in the schedule gide up.

973
00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:39,800
Speaker 1: But we're going to explore a diverse range of topics

974
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:41,960
Speaker 1: and ideas and subject matter. The other thing I want

975
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:46,000
Speaker 1: to tell you everyone and doctor Jody, is on February three,

976
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:49,560
Speaker 1: I'm launching my next mentoring program. So last mentoring program

977
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:52,920
Speaker 1: finished about a month ago. We sold out, plus we oversold.

978
00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:57,400
Speaker 1: I ended up taking more people than I intended, and

979
00:55:57,440 --> 00:56:00,319
Speaker 1: we've had lots of inquiries and so the next one,

980
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:01,839
Speaker 1: if you want to go have look what it's about.

981
00:56:01,840 --> 00:56:05,359
Speaker 1: I've actually which is very unme. I've created a ten

982
00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:08,359
Speaker 1: week syllabus for the course because I'm normally just show up,

983
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 1: but there's actually a ten week program. So you can

984
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:13,439
Speaker 1: go to my website, just going to Craig hupa dot

985
00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:16,400
Speaker 1: net go into education, you can read about the program.

986
00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:18,400
Speaker 1: You can read about each week what it's about, and

987
00:56:18,920 --> 00:56:20,080
Speaker 1: you may or may not want to book in, but

988
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:23,560
Speaker 1: there it is. Jode, you might want to book in.

989
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:25,279
Speaker 1: You've got a lot of issues. I could probably give

990
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:25,960
Speaker 1: you a discount.

991
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:29,839
Speaker 2: Wilson, Thanks appreciate it, Thank you, see you next time.

992
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:30,600
Speaker 2: Thanks Sya.