WEBVTT - Bonus: Ross Noble Was Bitten By A Shark

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<v Speaker 1>What about favorites to see introducing our Nick's kiss.

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<v Speaker 2>He's an English funny man or a funny englishman.

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<v Speaker 3>Either way, he's funny, he's English and he lives here

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<v Speaker 3>in Melbourne.

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<v Speaker 2>I just got married to an Australian. Most people swear

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<v Speaker 2>like you wouldn't, but look at them coughing already over

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<v Speaker 2>there blood because that's how my wife talks. Please, welcome

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<v Speaker 2>to the show. It's novel morning. That's quite an old

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<v Speaker 2>clip that I've been married for a long time. So yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>anyone always just got married? Can I just say I'm

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<v Speaker 2>still more the same one? Any One thinking I've gone.

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<v Speaker 4>Off shore and your girl dad?

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<v Speaker 2>I am?

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<v Speaker 4>The girls too?

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<v Speaker 2>Weird? Yes?

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<v Speaker 4>What is it how the girls accent?

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<v Speaker 2>It's weird because when we moved over they all sounded

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<v Speaker 2>like Helen and bottom cart father. What a marvelous day. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I got them just in time.

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<v Speaker 4>It was so Australian, isn't it.

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<v Speaker 2>Can I just say it, thank you for playing Bonnie

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<v Speaker 2>Taylor just before he was introduced, there's a there's a mashup.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't expect how old?

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<v Speaker 4>What's old is new again?

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<v Speaker 1>Wrong?

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<v Speaker 2>Bonnie Taylor and David Getta, I know no he's a

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<v Speaker 2>he's a he's a happening. Indeed, I believe the young

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<v Speaker 2>people say she is an old Welsh lady.

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<v Speaker 4>How old would Bonnie Tyler be? Now that's a google job's.

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<v Speaker 2>Going to be in our seventies. Oh, there's a there's

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<v Speaker 2>a quiz for everyone.

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<v Speaker 1>How old?

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<v Speaker 2>I reckon? She's seventy she's seventy three?

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<v Speaker 1>Wow?

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<v Speaker 5>Have you know?

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<v Speaker 2>Is she still holding out for a hero?

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<v Speaker 4>She's still holding out for a hero?

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<v Speaker 5>She turned seventy four two months ago, so I was

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<v Speaker 5>one off.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, she seventy four in June.

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<v Speaker 2>She's still clubbing.

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<v Speaker 4>Sorry, just he doesn't want to talk about himself.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to talk about Bunny because she's an old

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<v Speaker 2>Welsh woman. Did he like? Surely? David just took the

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<v Speaker 2>track and remixed it. She's not coming in from the night,

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<v Speaker 2>She's all right right door door, don't worry about that.

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<v Speaker 2>I come down to be so we'll go down there

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<v Speaker 2>be nice.

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<v Speaker 4>Holding on for heroes, holding out.

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<v Speaker 1>For here, watching lots on her Friday on Fridays.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, if she is holding out for here, she

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<v Speaker 2>is held out for a long time. Seventy four, seventy four,

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<v Speaker 2>seventy four, How.

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<v Speaker 5>Old's David half half that fifty Yeah, David, that's a

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<v Speaker 5>live Google place.

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<v Speaker 1>Before we get to your comedy show. There is something

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<v Speaker 1>I need to ask you.

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<v Speaker 4>He's fifty seven?

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<v Speaker 2>Is he good Lord? David? David good d Come into

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<v Speaker 2>my room, Bunny, come in? Is he French?

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<v Speaker 5>There?

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<v Speaker 2>One hundred and is he French? He's French? Mapes or so? Well?

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<v Speaker 2>You wouldn't believe how slow yip. Oh, I've been doing

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<v Speaker 2>it longer than you, David. Oh my lord, I needs

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<v Speaker 2>some visual dream.

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<v Speaker 4>The one that went with.

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<v Speaker 2>Makes Lovely Pants. No, that's Calvin Klain. I've got him confused.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, sorry, j You're gonna like this appeared on a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of TV shows. I just got informed you went

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<v Speaker 1>on some show in the UK where they get a

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<v Speaker 1>bunch of UK celebrities and throw you in the water

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<v Speaker 1>with shut the Day.

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<v Speaker 4>I've never ever heard of this celebrity in.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, yes I did. Yeah, So it was one of

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<v Speaker 2>those shows. So you know what it's like. You'll get

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<v Speaker 2>an email manager call and go, hey, you've been off

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<v Speaker 2>with this show and straight you read no, I am

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<v Speaker 2>not doing that, not just and some of them they

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<v Speaker 2>come through and you just go that's got to be

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<v Speaker 2>a wind up, and there was, and they said, it's

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<v Speaker 2>celebrities and they're going to teacher the scuba dive and

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<v Speaker 2>you're gonna get in and you're gonna start with like

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<v Speaker 2>little shark, you know, like stingrays, and then lemon sharks,

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<v Speaker 2>then reef shocks, and then you're gonna build up until

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<v Speaker 2>it's not in a kid like literally with hammerheads, and

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<v Speaker 2>then the giant tigers, tiger sharks and bull sharks, and

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<v Speaker 2>then building up, building up.

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<v Speaker 4>But where are you in the ocean or pool like

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<v Speaker 4>an aquarium.

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<v Speaker 2>It was a skip. It was lit. They filled a

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<v Speaker 2>skip full of water. They placed the celebrity into the

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<v Speaker 2>skip was in the ocean. I'll tell you what it was.

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<v Speaker 2>It was in the Bahamas. And I was like, what

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<v Speaker 2>why would I want to do a celebrity shark thing?

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<v Speaker 2>And she went, it's three weeks in the Bahamas. I'll

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<v Speaker 2>do it. Celebrity gets eaten instead of I got bitten

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<v Speaker 2>by a lemon shark.

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<v Speaker 5>Lemon.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they like, that's not enough, it's not enough for

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<v Speaker 2>just a little nip. I got bitten by as just

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<v Speaker 2>a small one. It got on the back of the leg.

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<v Speaker 2>The bump could have been worse. Well that is true.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, good lord, we were in were steep water,

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<v Speaker 2>stitches were talking. No, it was I was wearing a

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<v Speaker 2>wet suit, so it just it didn't it didn't break

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<v Speaker 2>the skin, but it.

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<v Speaker 4>Was enough to That's not it was how many times

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<v Speaker 4>have you been?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just saying, if he's gonna shot that story around

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<v Speaker 1>that he's been bitten by shark, I think you need

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<v Speaker 1>to be.

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<v Speaker 2>So you're saying that if teeth, if teeth applied pressure,

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<v Speaker 2>that's not a bit.

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<v Speaker 1>If there's no puncture through the wet suit, I reckon,

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<v Speaker 1>that's that's a bump, no.

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<v Speaker 2>Puncture, not a bit. Well that's worth knowing for when

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<v Speaker 2>you're being caught, you're in a fight in a pub.

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<v Speaker 2>There was no puncturing, no bite. So yeah, so I

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<v Speaker 2>went and one with these massive, these massive tiger shark would.

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<v Speaker 4>Be Were you scared?

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<v Speaker 2>You know what? I'm not. I wasn't because I'm an idiot. No.

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<v Speaker 2>It was one of those things where no, it's just

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<v Speaker 2>it was it was really exciting.

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<v Speaker 4>And then are you scared of anything?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like not us, it's just general not people. Yeah yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>If I had been diving and there had been a

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<v Speaker 2>bloke down there with a knife, just you know that.

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<v Speaker 2>You know those guys that you say wobbling around.

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<v Speaker 3>We are in Melbourne.

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<v Speaker 4>I never put them.

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<v Speaker 2>In the Yeah, or if I was, say, I was

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<v Speaker 2>the caretaker at a local tobacconists in Melbourne. Scared there

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<v Speaker 2>but sharks, sharks. It was amazing and it turns out

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<v Speaker 2>it turns out that sharks are massively misunderstood and they're

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<v Speaker 2>really important.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah. Look, I think you could do the shark game

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<v Speaker 5>in the Bahamas, but I don't think you could be

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<v Speaker 5>doing it here in Australia.

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<v Speaker 4>Aggressive, great ones we've got.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to do it here. I want to Yeah.

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<v Speaker 5>Did you say that guy yesterday that got Yeah, that

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<v Speaker 5>would if it had got his wet suit, Well wouldn't.

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<v Speaker 2>That's not a I would hardly recommend it. Not getting

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<v Speaker 2>bitten swimming Swimming with the.

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<v Speaker 4>Sharks shows on September six.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, it is at the Palais beautiful just up here

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<v Speaker 2>in St Kilda. What I would argue in my top

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<v Speaker 2>five best rooms for comedy in the world. Wow, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>not too big.

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<v Speaker 1>Like for comedy rooms, you know how sometimes intimate like

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<v Speaker 1>intimate venues are perfect.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, it's it's just the sounds of me

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<v Speaker 2>is in. It's not too big, not too small, it's perfect.

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<v Speaker 3>What's your five ross live venue in the world.

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<v Speaker 2>In the world, I would sort of, I would say

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<v Speaker 2>that's probably there's probably about five that are all kind

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<v Speaker 2>of inter changeable. Poladium, Olympia and Dublin here. Yeah, probably there.

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<v Speaker 2>The audience yeah, oh absolutely no, seriously, this is and

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<v Speaker 2>it's a Melbourne audience as well.

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<v Speaker 4>So Ariustlian audience is better, yeah, said.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what, Australian audiences are incredibly laid back. But

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<v Speaker 2>at the same time, so like some places you go to,

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<v Speaker 2>you'll get an audience that's sort of like London for example.

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<v Speaker 2>They're up for it once they're there, but it's so

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<v Speaker 2>it's such a nightmare getting anywhere.

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<v Speaker 3>On the right and they're in a good mood when

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<v Speaker 3>they get there.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. So it takes about so about the first ten

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<v Speaker 2>minutes you can see people sort of like they're ringing

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<v Speaker 2>out there sort of stuff. You know. Well, I did

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<v Speaker 2>a gig once and it was so the heat of

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<v Speaker 2>the audience and the theater and then because everyone had

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<v Speaker 2>got wet, there was steam coming off the audience.

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<v Speaker 1>Look like you said, a smar machine.

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<v Speaker 2>Or doing a gig in a sauna.

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<v Speaker 3>There are So I'm hosting a yeah a conference today.

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<v Speaker 3>It's the National Finance Broker's Day.

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<v Speaker 4>Doesn't that sound at.

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<v Speaker 3>The MCG anything I should run with for that type

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<v Speaker 3>of audience. As an opening, I.

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<v Speaker 2>Think you should be honest and good evening everybody. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>here for the money. Let's let's be honest.

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<v Speaker 1>That'll appreciate it.

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<v Speaker 2>No one's doing that for the love of it.

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<v Speaker 1>Noble's playing Palais Theater September six. You can get your

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<v Speaker 1>tickets through ticket Master. Ross is always good to say mate,

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<v Speaker 1>thanks for comedy.

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<v Speaker 2>Thanks for having me, and I'll be back with a

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<v Speaker 2>remix with David but just an old Welsh woman we

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<v Speaker 2>look forward to. If there's any old Welsh woman who

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<v Speaker 2>live in Melbourne who want to come to the Palais,

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<v Speaker 2>I'll get you on and you can remix one of

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<v Speaker 2>my jokes.

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<v Speaker 5>Lauren Wake feeling good following them on the socials