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Speaker 1: He's busy and with Kritty.

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Speaker 2: It's been a very long twenty four hours since this

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Speaker 2: time yesterday, quarter past seven, when the news broke, When

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Speaker 2: the new When the news broke. Thank you Olie for

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Speaker 2: bringing in me a bottle of water, which I think

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Speaker 2: I'm going to need. We spoke on the show yesterday

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Speaker 2: about a podcast that I had listened to. It's The

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Speaker 2: Imperfects with a couple of mates. Shelton had not been

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Speaker 2: a guest yet myself, nor has Fitzy, but Whip was

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Speaker 2: on there and he did reveal a lot of lovely

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Speaker 2: things about himself. It was very open and honest about

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Speaker 2: mental health and things that he's been through in the past.

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Speaker 1: But he also made this revelation at the end of

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Speaker 1: the chat.

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Speaker 3: I've done something creatively I've never spoken to anybody about.

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Speaker 3: I wrote an erotic novel called The Far Too Personal

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Speaker 3: Trainer just new and Shelton would love that.

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Speaker 1: Why because into the old erotic novel No he just

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Speaker 1: is entertained by some of the ridiculous things that I do.

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Speaker 3: So you'll often say, what's on the go now.

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Speaker 4: This is fun?

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Speaker 3: This is different.

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Speaker 2: Well, he is a man of ideas. He's brought in

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Speaker 2: here quite a few things. I know that what was

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Speaker 2: that thing? What was the head? What was the virtual reality?

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Speaker 2: I think I even did a pilot for a TV

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Speaker 2: show once upon attend.

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Speaker 3: You should see the list. You should see the list

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Speaker 3: I'm working on at the moment.

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Speaker 4: So it's virtual reality done. You'll still go.

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Speaker 3: As a Tourism Australia campaign.

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Speaker 4: Was it?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: No, no no.

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Speaker 5: You took out all these websites. You said it was

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Speaker 5: going to be the next big thing. You wore a

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Speaker 5: virtual reality helmet on safari in Africa, that footage and

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Speaker 5: when your first child was born.

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Speaker 3: Nothing to do with the far too personal training. If

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Speaker 3: you'd like to do rail police.

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Speaker 2: Do you think that the erotic novel is going to

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Speaker 2: be fun or successful?

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Speaker 1: This only ever written for Ryan Shelton and a bit

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Speaker 1: of fun for you.

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Speaker 3: It was hard to know when I wrote it. I

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Speaker 3: just really enjoyed the process of writing a book. And

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Speaker 3: if there's any other authors out there, I'm an author.

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Speaker 1: Hello, I'm sitting right next to you.

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Speaker 3: I mean that was a cute book as such. I

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Speaker 3: mean there's a.

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Speaker 2: Lot of it, There's been three of them, a lot

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Speaker 2: of currently writing my life story as well, a lot.

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Speaker 3: Of celebrities doing kids books, A lot of people in

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Speaker 3: media doing kids book and cookbooks. Who's writing for the adults?

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Speaker 1: Are you?

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Speaker 4: Are you actually doing your life story at the moment? Hope?

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: You'll have to have you got a ghost writer? No,

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Speaker 2: And that's what I was speaking of. Let's get off

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Speaker 2: that topic. If it's speaking of ghostwriters? Have you and

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Speaker 2: I do have the first kind of apart from Ryan Shelton?

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Speaker 2: This is the first copy, I'm guessing, I'm very nervous

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Speaker 2: excerpt of the book.

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Speaker 1: Is it the opening chapter?

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Speaker 3: Chapter one?

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Speaker 2: We did promise you that we'd bring a bit of

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Speaker 2: it to you today.

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Speaker 1: I haven't read it yet. I'm hoping Tommy has and that.

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Speaker 4: What are you doing?

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Speaker 3: Chapter one of The Far Too Personal Trainer?

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Speaker 1: I think with it? I mean, I don't know what

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Speaker 1: is Whipper going to do? Is he going to open

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Speaker 1: with a bang?

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Speaker 2: Or is he going to introduce us to the characters

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Speaker 2: like the pilot episode of every good TV show?

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Speaker 4: Knowing that sick mine, I would say.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what?

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Speaker 3: I think?

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Speaker 2: The funniest thing is he wanders around this office. It

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Speaker 2: comes in in the morning. He's so tired, he's got

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Speaker 2: so much to do, and this is what he's been doing,

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Speaker 2: writing an erotic nonlaw Kate.

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Speaker 3: Richie, the first reader of chapter one of The Far

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Speaker 3: Too Personal.

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Speaker 1: Trainer, Here we Go. I was a little bit of

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Speaker 1: an opener. I'll skip through that. Hi.

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Speaker 2: I'm Ben and I'm a personal trainer. I'm a good

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Speaker 2: looking rooster. Yeah, probably a ten out of ten.

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Speaker 1: Six foot three, blonde, bloody, fit, six pack, probably eight.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 2: My job as a personal trainer is to make sure

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Speaker 2: that any girl who walks into the gym leaves feeling

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Speaker 2: better about herself. Red faced and short of breath. It's

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Speaker 2: all exercise.

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Speaker 1: A woman comes to me for personal training, there are

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Speaker 1: some things you can guarantee wants.

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Speaker 2: I would imagine Number one, they'll end up telling me

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Speaker 2: everything that's wrong in their life. Number two, they have

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Speaker 2: too much to say about everyone else. Three, when they

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Speaker 2: see results and are feeling good about themselves, they'll think

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Speaker 2: of me because I'm the one that made it happen.

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Speaker 2: Number four and they'll hit on me. I was having

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Speaker 2: this discussion with my housemate Mono. His real name is Dave,

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Speaker 2: but he was wrong with only one testicle. I'm guessing

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Speaker 2: that's important to the.

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Speaker 1: Plot, is it.

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Speaker 4: You're going down that.

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Speaker 1: Road else, But that's a story for another time.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, I was saying that the girls who were easy

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Speaker 2: to pick up are those who are already married. You

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Speaker 2: see it all the time in this job. A married

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Speaker 2: woman comes in, her husband spends all day and night

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Speaker 2: at the office making more money than he's made before,

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Speaker 2: and all he wants to do is spend it on

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Speaker 2: fast toys and hanging out with his mates. She's then

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Speaker 2: had a couple of kids, spends her days at home

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Speaker 2: as people listening going that's me, that's not in the book,

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Speaker 2: that's me saying that that's my mind, that's my inner dialogue.

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Speaker 2: Spends her days at home feeling older. Then all of

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Speaker 2: a sudden there's a hot young guy making her feel

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Speaker 2: good about herself. Go on, which hasn't happened in ten years.

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Speaker 2: What do you think the result is going to be?

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Speaker 2: She's going to end up wanting you easy. Mono and

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Speaker 2: I are always arguing we're both twenty six, but in

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Speaker 2: maturity we'd say around the age of sixteen, or maybe

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Speaker 2: that's just me. We live in a small two bedroom apartment.

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Speaker 2: We share the same bathroom, which is only one toilet.

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Speaker 2: Ice apartment it just never feels really clean. That's monoch

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Speaker 2: It blows my mind how quickly a kitchen bin can

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Speaker 2: fill up, well, how many more things you can stuff

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Speaker 2: in it when it's already I think this is the

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Speaker 2: painting of the picture made.

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Speaker 1: This is the you know what I'm guessing.

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Speaker 2: We want to see what the apartment looks like about

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Speaker 2: twenty six year old.

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Speaker 1: We've all been there.

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Speaker 3: This is what an author does. Fits it?

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Speaker 4: Okay?

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Speaker 1: And have you noticed how, oh, here we go?

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Speaker 2: Have you noticed how a folded empty toilet roll can

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Speaker 2: slide into the smallest spaces of the bin.

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Speaker 1: That's interesting, amazing?

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Speaker 4: Is that the raunchiest part of the first jock?

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Speaker 1: I thought it was going to be raunchier than that?

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Speaker 3: Or is that only?

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Speaker 1: Is that the radio we're.

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Speaker 3: Meeting Ben for the first time. Ben is a personal trainer.

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Speaker 3: We've now we now know he's six foot three, he's

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Speaker 3: got an eight pack, and he's talking about his target,

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Speaker 3: which he likes because he loves women, a married women core.

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Speaker 2: But it feels as though what's saying Ben, No, Ben

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Speaker 2: thinks that the women he trains are a bit of

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Speaker 2: an issue in his life. Is he taking advantage of

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Speaker 2: women when they are feeling vulnerable.

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Speaker 3: Celebrating what the woman can be once she is feeling

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Speaker 3: great about her Okay, so Kate, I'd let you down.

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Speaker 3: So you want raunchier? Do you want to see?

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Speaker 2: I want raunchier. But then I'm worried that maybe it's

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Speaker 2: not fit for radio.

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Speaker 3: I don't need to be the censor guy comes in.

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Speaker 2: Reading it in my own time. Do we have hard

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Speaker 2: copies of this that I don't know? I'm going to

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Speaker 2: throw it out there. And perhaps you're even Tommy, I

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Speaker 2: don't know if you found out yesterday, whether there are

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Speaker 2: any raunchy ladies book clubs floating around. If you are listening,

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Speaker 2: why don't you dm the show or me? And maybe

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Speaker 2: we can get a little section of the book that.

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Speaker 3: You sneak peak, perhaps sneak peak.

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Speaker 1: Maybe the paper.

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Speaker 2: What do you know when the Sunday you know, these

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Speaker 2: big kind of books come out and the Sunday Paper

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Speaker 2: get involved and they print like a section of it

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Speaker 2: as a bit of a tea.

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Speaker 4: They review streaming shows, television shows, books.

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Speaker 2: If you're in a book club in Sydney, or if

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Speaker 2: you want it something a bit raaunch here at this time?

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Speaker 3: All right, kay, Richie, you've thrown the challenge. We will

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Speaker 3: skip to some more interesting.

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Speaker 1: Why is this even interesting me? Now I'm on board.

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Speaker 4: Leo is giving as a girl from Waverley? Leo. Are

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Speaker 4: you part of a book club? Are you certainly at

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Speaker 4: the old are you?

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Speaker 1: Leo? And which book club?

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Speaker 4: Awesome?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 3: I just go to Waverley book Club?

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Speaker 1: And what do you usually read?

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Speaker 3: What do you usually read?

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Speaker 1: I like fantasy novels. This would be up your ali.

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Speaker 3: I think how many in the book club? Leo? And

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Speaker 3: when do you guys gather?

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Speaker 1: I got a few times a week.

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Speaker 3: There's like maybe twelve people I talk to. I have

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Speaker 3: to add, I do like the the erotica novels as well?

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Speaker 1: What if you read previously? What are your faves?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Im a really good book Aragon? And so were the

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Speaker 1: leads in that?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 1: What's so erotic about them?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 4: I'm not sure if we want to delve into that?

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Speaker 1: Okay, you can d m me Richie official.

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Speaker 3: That's true? The detail in your group? I mean, is

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Speaker 3: there any way we could all get together? Possibly? I

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Speaker 3: could bring you know, some parts of the book could

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Speaker 3: be great to have a round table if we sat

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Speaker 3: in a circle. Oh, that that sounds absolutely.

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Speaker 2: Who would you like to play Ben, Ben the what

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Speaker 2: is it?

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Speaker 4: Benson?

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Speaker 2: Sorry, it's like winning the Wednesday. I'm never going to

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Speaker 2: get it, Ben the far too personal Trainer? Or do

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Speaker 2: you want to play Dave for Mono the Flatmate?

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Speaker 1: I reckon Ben would be a good change of post.

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Speaker 4: Okay, all right, we're going to get the book to you.

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Speaker 4: We're going to get it and you guys can sit

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Speaker 4: down and if we'll get you wanting to give us

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Speaker 4: a bit of a review? Is that sound good?

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Speaker 1: Completely embargoed though, we can't go.

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Speaker 3: I mean there's not even a release data or even consideration.

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Speaker 3: There a hard copy of there's a rough print out.

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Speaker 4: Every publication company know about it. It's been pitched to him.

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Speaker 3: Fourteen god whip's back on a minute, remember me Penguin.

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Speaker 4: Like just I've got his photo up at the app

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Speaker 4: at the front door.

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Speaker 3: Did not let this any problem?

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Speaker 4: Writer with Richie on nov.

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Speaker 2: I know I shouldn't be getting excited about this, And

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Speaker 2: maybe it's an indication of how unexciting everything else is

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Speaker 2: in my life.

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Speaker 3: Or is it just really clever?

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Speaker 2: Okay, maybe it's really clever that I listened to a

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Speaker 2: podcast called The Imperfect and Our very own Whipper revealed

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Speaker 2: that he'd written an erotic novel and he was going

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Speaker 2: to gift it to Ryan Shelton. I don't know if

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Speaker 2: he wanted it or not. And now it's got a

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Speaker 2: life of its sign. We read a little bit of

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Speaker 2: it yesterday and I didn't think that it was. I mean,

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Speaker 2: as far as eronic novels go, not that I've ever read,

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Speaker 2: I've never read that much shape. It's a brave I've

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Speaker 2: never even seen any of the films.

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Speaker 3: Read fifty Shades Now. When Lisa was reading it, she

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Speaker 3: would read it to me out aloud and it was.

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Speaker 4: At brekfast, so you've got your own audible.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, reading it and I'd go, this is too much

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Speaker 3: for me. In fact, I'll go and write my own

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Speaker 3: called The far Too Personal Trainer.

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Speaker 4: Well, Hugh Jackman deb used to do that, read to

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Speaker 4: each other. Remember they used to read to each.

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Speaker 5: Other before they went to bed and when they woke up.

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Speaker 4: In the morning.

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Speaker 1: But that didn't work, did it.

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Speaker 3: There's so many people in media writing kids books, nobody's

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Speaker 3: writing anything.

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Speaker 4: For the adults.

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Speaker 3: That's where I step in. I mean, it was twenty

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Speaker 3: fourteen when I started to pating this beautiful story.

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Speaker 5: So we're coming up to ten year anniversary off Facebook

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Speaker 5: that no one's held.

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Speaker 2: So far, we've read a tiny little part yesterday, which

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Speaker 2: was basically just the setup of you know, the hero Ben,

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Speaker 2: what's his.

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Speaker 4: Name, Ben.

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Speaker 2: He's the personal trainer twenty six who just hates the

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Speaker 2: fact that he trains these women at the gym, who

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Speaker 2: you know, a bit down on themselves, and he builds

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Speaker 2: them up in more ways than one.

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Speaker 3: Kate, Richie, you were angered that yesterday's introduction to the

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Speaker 3: character of Ben wasn't spicy enough. I've presented something else.

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Speaker 3: I've got another part of the book I want you

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Speaker 3: to read today. Now, Tommy, I'm going to get you

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Speaker 3: to step in as the censor horn. Yes, you have

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Speaker 3: on the horns?

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Speaker 4: Can you play the horn for us? I'll test test.

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Speaker 3: My horn out.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so I read it's like ahrn, not stop talking fun.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to ruin all the fun. Does anyone

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Speaker 4: know about that horn when you hear my horn?

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Speaker 1: I don't think we're allowed horns in the studio. They

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Speaker 1: were the new rules.

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Speaker 2: And also speaking of new rules, if one of my

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Speaker 2: bosses came to the office yesterday and if he's listening

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Speaker 2: because it is a bit launchier today. Please don't come

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Speaker 2: in and give me notes about how I read it.

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Speaker 2: Because he strode into the office.

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Speaker 1: Names.

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Speaker 2: What I'm saying is I thought that, you know, rules

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Speaker 2: were tightened around this place, and he was so he said, wow,

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Speaker 2: that erotic novel stuff into it.

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Speaker 1: The way you read that was amazing.

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Speaker 3: Can I get the first copy?

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Speaker 4: Said, since then, has been negotiating a contract.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Well, let me set the scene of the part

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Speaker 3: that I've given you. Okay, So he's it's only quite

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Speaker 3: a short little bit. He's on the way to the gym, right,

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Speaker 3: and he's in a school school traffic. A girl called

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Speaker 3: Annabelle has bumped into him in the traffic anyway.

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Speaker 4: That's not in the car.

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Speaker 3: In the car, yep, just hello though, no, no, no,

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Speaker 3: they've had a bingal. He's furious his bumper bar's falling off. Anyway,

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Speaker 3: they end up but.

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Speaker 1: Right up the back of her.

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Speaker 3: Hold your horn, Tom, I have the horn. Guys, if

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Speaker 3: we can just okay, keep it clean and don't cheapen

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Speaker 3: this beautiful story as a writer. It's in the car anyway.

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Speaker 3: He realizes that Annabel's quite attractive, and he takes a

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Speaker 3: sneaky photo of Annabel's bottom. Anyway, she's a really expensive sorry,

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Speaker 3: probably she's a really wealthy lawyer. Annabel plays that character,

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Speaker 3: and this is a moment where they end up back

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Speaker 3: at her place and she wants a lamp shade carried

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Speaker 3: up to the bedroom by a very strong personal game.

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Speaker 4: Probably would have been a bit better nine years ago.

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Speaker 1: So cliche. Here we go, even with a lamp shade

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Speaker 1: in my face, I'm still managing to take.

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Speaker 2: A peek at her bra through her white shirt. Are

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Speaker 2: we doing this?

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Speaker 1: Just a bit further over to the table and just

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Speaker 1: put it down here? There you go. I lower it

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Speaker 1: onto the table, slam goes the bedroom door behind me.

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Speaker 2: I turn around and she's standing there with her back

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Speaker 2: towards the door and both hands pratt and both I'm

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Speaker 2: getting nervous, and both hands pressed against it as if

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Speaker 2: to hold off anyone that might be coming through it.

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Speaker 2: Is this where you wanted it, I say, trying to

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Speaker 2: pretend the mood hasn't changed and the lamp was still

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Speaker 2: my focus. Get out your phone and show me the

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Speaker 2: picture you took of my bum.

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Speaker 4: Wow, she knew that's interesting.

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Speaker 2: I was standing there now, sweating for two reasons and

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Speaker 2: trying to read her face. Was this lawyer going to

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Speaker 2: call the police and have the firing squad arrive abuse

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Speaker 2: me for privacy crimes against hot school mums?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 4: My god?

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Speaker 2: Did you think I didn't notice you taking a photo?

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Speaker 2: My job is based on evidence where the smallest piece

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Speaker 2: can place a man behind bars for life. And you

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Speaker 2: think I wouldn't notice some brainless chunk of meat taking

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Speaker 2: a photo of my I don't want to say that

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Speaker 2: word backside, backside, That's not what it says here. But

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Speaker 2: go on show me the photo, you brainless chunk of meat. Brainless,

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Speaker 2: that's the lawyer, that's Annabelle. This is while she's pressed

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Speaker 2: up against the door.

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Speaker 1: I'm guessing good. I'm thinking. I'm thinking she would have

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Speaker 1: stepped forward at this.

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Speaker 4: She wouldn't She wouldn't she? She hasn't?

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Speaker 1: You Hang on a second. I'm the and I'm the actress.

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Speaker 1: Here you go.

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Speaker 2: Are you happy with that? It's just your bom. I've

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Speaker 2: seen a few. I can't believe what's happening is I'm

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Speaker 2: holding the phone in her face face.

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Speaker 4: Age, she's.

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Speaker 1: What do you think of it? I wasn't expecting that question.

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Speaker 1: It's it's nice. Is that the right thing to say?

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Speaker 4: Good?

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Speaker 1: I'm glad you like what you see, because if you

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Speaker 1: want to see more, you're going to need to do

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Speaker 1: this first. Oh God, here we go.

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Speaker 2: Grabbing me by the wrists, she pulls me towards her.

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Speaker 2: Now we're pressed against each other, leaning against the door.

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Speaker 2: Please don't let this be another honey, I'm home situation.

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Speaker 2: Her head is now locked into my neck. I can

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Speaker 2: feel her heart up against me.

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Speaker 4: Yes, I didn't even get to.

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Speaker 1: The bottom of you.

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Speaker 3: My God sends a horn to ride.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, guys, very strict. Read well, there is.

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Speaker 2: I can read the I can have. We got a song.

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Speaker 2: I can read the rest in the song. Have you

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Speaker 2: spoken to a publisher about this?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 4: Good? Were you leaning out a few frustrations in twenty.

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Speaker 1: What are you talking about that married there?

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Speaker 3: I'm an author, yes, and I just wanted to create

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Speaker 3: a really gripping story, which we've heard as acted by

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Speaker 3: Kate Richie from Audible.

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Speaker 1: I think I need to.

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Speaker 2: Get some advice from my friends at Penguin Random House

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Speaker 2: and see whether there's even a market for this cliched rubbish.

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Speaker 3: Let's see what the Let's see what the nover executives thought,

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Speaker 3: if you're reading today, is there a Tommy?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 3: I was thinking last night, is there a ben Holder

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Speaker 3: in the Sydney someone with the same as the lead character? Yeahs,

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Speaker 3: anybody listening right now that knows a ben Holder?

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Speaker 4: I've got a drink holder.

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Speaker 3: Okay, let's do betore ben Holder. We might do another

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Speaker 3: reading tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: Can I approve read?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I need a drink weld. I'm Kate Richie.

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Speaker 1: It's a Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast.

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Speaker 1: For more great comedy shows like this, head to novapodcast

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Speaker 1: dot com. Jod Au