Speaker 1: Apoja Production. Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm
Speaker 1: actually Bynes. This is a podcast where we learn, laugh,
Speaker 1: and level up together. Let's go deep, let the emotions flow,
Speaker 1: find the lessons to grow and glow. Nothing is off
Speaker 1: the table with Grow and Glow, and I'm here to
Speaker 1: be your expander. Hello everybody, Welcome back to Growing Glow.
Speaker 1: I'm actually your host. If you're new here, welcome, if
Speaker 1: you're an og listener, or welcome back today. I'm going
Speaker 1: to be doing a big Q and a answering a
Speaker 1: bunch of questions that came through on my forum. I
Speaker 1: also did post on there saying that if there's anything
Speaker 1: private that you wanted to ask me, to shoot me
Speaker 1: a DM. So we've got a few on our Instagram
Speaker 1: page and in my personal dms. So it's a wide
Speaker 1: variety of different topics and I'm going to answer as
Speaker 1: many as I can. I've got seventeen here, but I'll
Speaker 1: be mindful to not keep you here for longer than
Speaker 1: an hour. I'm actually curious too, I would love to
Speaker 1: know if you are in our private Facebook community, might
Speaker 1: do a post and let me know how long you
Speaker 1: do like the episodes. Are you more of someone who
Speaker 1: likes a short fifteen twenty minute one or you love
Speaker 1: a good solid hour. I feel like it depends on
Speaker 1: where I'm going, on what I'm doing, Like if I'm
Speaker 1: flying to a destination, I don't mind listening to a
Speaker 1: long podcast, but day to day I do prefer the
Speaker 1: shorter ones, like the bite sized chunks. But anyways, let's
Speaker 1: get straight into it. So first up, I had someone
Speaker 1: ask about lip and tongue ties with their babies. Both
Speaker 1: of my children had really bad lip and tongue ties.
Speaker 1: If you don't know what this is, basically like if
Speaker 1: you grab your top lip and you pull it up,
Speaker 1: if you can pull it up, like you don't have
Speaker 1: a tie, but a really bad lip tie would be
Speaker 1: that you can't really pull your lip up. There's like
Speaker 1: this connective tissue I suppose that connects it. That's the
Speaker 1: same with your tongue. So if you can poke your
Speaker 1: tongue fully out or when you lift it up, you
Speaker 1: can see this connective tissue. For a lot of babies
Speaker 1: and little kids, it's tied, which means it's kind of
Speaker 1: stuck down. A lip and tongue tie can really affect
Speaker 1: the way a baby feeds so when they are looking
Speaker 1: for the nipple, they actually utilize their tongue to find
Speaker 1: the nipple and then to be able to latch on properly.
Speaker 1: So I'd never heard of this. I'd never seen anyone
Speaker 1: speak about it on social media. None of my friends
Speaker 1: had it with their babies. And with Tar, she just
Speaker 1: wasn't feeding very well. He was swallowing a lot of air.
Speaker 1: I just felt like as tummy was always upset. And
Speaker 1: then I got a lactation console to come in and
Speaker 1: she was like, oh, he has one of the worst
Speaker 1: lip and tongue ties that I've seen in quite a
Speaker 1: few years. So she referred me to a holistic dentist
Speaker 1: who doesn't actually practice anymore. He was in Tellibudra to
Speaker 1: get it lasered. As the first time mum, this was
Speaker 1: really really terrifying. They take your baby into another room
Speaker 1: and they use a laser like a water laser device
Speaker 1: to laser off the tie, and he had to get
Speaker 1: his lip and tongue done. And kids can also have
Speaker 1: cheek ties as well. If you don't get these done,
Speaker 1: they say that it can really impact their breathing, their speech,
Speaker 1: the way that they eat and the texture of food.
Speaker 1: And everything, and of course I just couldn't breastfeed properly
Speaker 1: because they couldn't get a proper latch of my breast.
Speaker 1: So yeah, they did the laser and it's a lot
Speaker 1: for a new mum to go through and for a
Speaker 1: baby to go through. And then after when you get
Speaker 1: it done, you have to actually stretch the tongue back
Speaker 1: and pull the lip up every four hours, so even
Speaker 1: if they're sleeping through or sipping well, you have to
Speaker 1: wake much to do these stretches that they hate it.
Speaker 1: You hate it, but if you don't do the stretches,
Speaker 1: it will actually reattach. So our mouth is like our
Speaker 1: fastest healing body part. So yeah, if you don't do it,
Speaker 1: or just reattach and you'll be back to square one
Speaker 1: and you may have to get it relasered, which you
Speaker 1: don't want to do to them, you don't want to
Speaker 1: do yourself. So went through all of that with Taj,
Speaker 1: I was well aware this is probably going to be
Speaker 1: something that Tyler has as well. And when we first
Speaker 1: got targed on, the dentists actually reached up into Steve's
Speaker 1: mouth and my mouth I didn't have one, but Steve does,
Speaker 1: so they can be genetic and yes, what do you know?
Speaker 1: Tyler had a lip in tongue tie. So I got
Speaker 1: it done very early on. I went to a place
Speaker 1: in Brisbane called Enhance. There isn't many places that do it.
Speaker 1: This particular lady has been doing it for like twenty
Speaker 1: years plus. She's very experienced and my lactation consult recommended
Speaker 1: going to her. There was a bit of a wait
Speaker 1: list to get you get into her, but it is
Speaker 1: over very quickly, like literally less than two minutes, and
Speaker 1: the procedure is done and then they bring the baby
Speaker 1: back in you feed straight away in their suitet. Tyler
Speaker 1: was actually really fine. I just held her for the
Speaker 1: next like twenty four hours, like on my chest the
Speaker 1: whole time. So I just wanted to make sure that
Speaker 1: she felt safe and she felt comfortable. And you know,
Speaker 1: I think as parents, we are their painkillers, we are
Speaker 1: their pain relief, we are their safety, their love. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I just made sure. I was just spending a lot
Speaker 1: of skin to skin with her and feeding lots, but
Speaker 1: her feeding improved drastically straight away. So yeah, something this
Speaker 1: beautiful lady wanted me to talk about because she hasn't
Speaker 1: heard many people talk about it, and she thinks her
Speaker 1: son has one, and her doctors told her not to
Speaker 1: worry about it. So my advice to her was to
Speaker 1: get a lactation consultant or go and visit the girls
Speaker 1: at enhanced because I feel like general gps don't understand
Speaker 1: a lot about it, and also the short and long
Speaker 1: term effects that can have on babies, children and adults
Speaker 1: if you don't get it lasered. Some are very minor
Speaker 1: and some are like my kids were really quite severe.
Speaker 1: So if you've got a minor lip and tongue tai,
Speaker 1: like Steves's quite minor, it hasn't really affected him. But
Speaker 1: I just think it's something that you should go to
Speaker 1: an expert about, not just your general GP, because a
Speaker 1: lot of the time they just don't know enough about it.
Speaker 1: So yes, next question, how do you go through a
Speaker 1: death of your old self or your marriage? So this
Speaker 1: is something I've spoken about on the podcast a lot,
Speaker 1: is that I feel like Steve has married five different
Speaker 1: women or seven different women, because I've changed so much
Speaker 1: from who I was when I met him at age nineteen.
Speaker 1: I'm turning thirty six. By the time you guys listen
Speaker 1: to this, are we thirty six years old, So you
Speaker 1: can imagine how much I've changed and evolved over those years.
Speaker 1: What I've valued, how I've showed up, how I respond
Speaker 1: to cern situations, what I enjoy, what I desire, the
Speaker 1: people around me, my environments, what I do for work,
Speaker 1: Like so much changes. And I feel like when you
Speaker 1: go through a death of your old self, you just
Speaker 1: feel like how you used to be and how you
Speaker 1: used to show up and the things you used to
Speaker 1: love just don't align anymore. And then you start to
Speaker 1: rediscover this new version of yourself. And that's what I
Speaker 1: call the rebirth. And I've gone through this, what I've
Speaker 1: gone through really big pivotal moments in my life. So
Speaker 1: when I birth my children, I felt a massive death
Speaker 1: of my old self and a rebirth of like this
Speaker 1: new version of myself. And what I cared about previously
Speaker 1: I don't care about anymore. And yeah, my desires and
Speaker 1: my needs and my wants change in all areas of
Speaker 1: my life and where my energy goes and who I'm
Speaker 1: surrounding myself with and the type of conversations I'm having.
Speaker 1: And it's very similar to the marriage when I met
Speaker 1: Steve at nineteen, Like the things I needed and wanted
Speaker 1: from him are completely different now. I was so codependent
Speaker 1: on him. I just wanted him to save me and
Speaker 1: take care of me, and I felt like I was broken.
Speaker 1: And it's just so different to the woman that I
Speaker 1: am now. And it's so cool to be able to
Speaker 1: go through those deaths and you know, get to know
Speaker 1: each other as we evolved together individually and as a couple.
Speaker 1: When you're doing the inner world and you're really in tune,
Speaker 1: I'm touching my body as I'm saying this, which of
Speaker 1: you guys can't see. But when you're really in tune
Speaker 1: with who you are, you'll be super hyper aware that
Speaker 1: when things are not feeling good and they're not aligning,
Speaker 1: you will shuffle and adjust as you go and in
Speaker 1: your relationship like it's just never going to stay the same.
Speaker 1: The one thing that we are guaranteed is constant change,
Speaker 1: So invite it in, don't be scared of it. It's
Speaker 1: really important for you to keep growing in your relationship
Speaker 1: and keep growing yourself. Without progress, we feel dead inside.
Speaker 1: And it doesn't mean that something's wrong with you, and
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean that self development has to become your
Speaker 1: whole world. But I think at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: we always are wanting to become better and be able
Speaker 1: to manage harder situations with more grace, with more kindness,
Speaker 1: with more love, with more understanding. So yeah, it's really
Speaker 1: important to continue to grow and continue to get to
Speaker 1: know yourself on a deeper level and feel, like I've
Speaker 1: described as before, like as on you and you're always
Speaker 1: feeling back the layers to get to know you the
Speaker 1: core of who you are. And it's important to meet
Speaker 1: yourself exactly where you are now, not where you were
Speaker 1: six months ago or five years ago. And same with
Speaker 1: your partner, get invite them in, get excited to get
Speaker 1: to know who they are now and what they desire
Speaker 1: and what they want, and even like your love language
Speaker 1: is like, they will change all the time, I think,
Speaker 1: which honestly should be checking in with that, you know,
Speaker 1: once a month as a minimum, because you can change
Speaker 1: so much. So I hope that explains that how do
Speaker 1: you keep such a positive mindset about everything, especially in
Speaker 1: your hard times or like not having a dad, or
Speaker 1: getting trolled online or people saying things about your family.
Speaker 1: I feel like there's so many questions in one there,
Speaker 1: But for me, I think it's a muscle that I've
Speaker 1: kind of flexed for so long that life isn't always
Speaker 1: going to be smooth sailing and things aren't always going
Speaker 1: to go to plan, and you can't be positive and
Speaker 1: happy all the time. Part of the human experience is
Speaker 1: to experience all the emotions anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment, grief, excitement, joy, jealousy, envy,
Speaker 1: like it's all part of the human experience. So I'm
Speaker 1: not positive all the time, but I do like to
Speaker 1: have a glass is half full kind of mindset, and
Speaker 1: I believe even through the ikey are hard at times
Speaker 1: that I'm going through, I know it's happening for me,
Speaker 1: not to me. What I mean by that is, I
Speaker 1: know that there's an underlying lesson, there's a reason why
Speaker 1: I have to go through that. And a lot of
Speaker 1: the time when we are wanting to up level and
Speaker 1: we're wanting to improve who we are or change a
Speaker 1: lot in our life to live a better life, we
Speaker 1: have to go through a lot. You normally have to
Speaker 1: like break down a lot of the shit that we're
Speaker 1: going through and experiencing to be able to break through
Speaker 1: and step into our new life. So, yeah, I am
Speaker 1: very positive A lot of the time, because I don't
Speaker 1: like to fall into victim. I have my moments of
Speaker 1: being a victim. So recently, I've gone through something really hard,
Speaker 1: and I've had my moments of having a little pity
Speaker 1: party for myself, and I'll vent to Steve or my
Speaker 1: close girlfriends or my mum and just be like, this
Speaker 1: sucks wise this happening. I don't understand why this person's
Speaker 1: doing this, or why they've said this, or how people
Speaker 1: can think that, And like, I feel so sad about that,
Speaker 1: and I that moment, and I will allow all those
Speaker 1: feelings to come up, but I won't let that be
Speaker 1: my emotional home because it doesn't serve me. There's no
Speaker 1: point in me constantly being a victim thinking the world's
Speaker 1: against me and everybody hates me. And I've lived like
Speaker 1: that before and I refuse to do that now. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not about being positive, happy in all the time
Speaker 1: and not feeling the lower vibrational feelings. You need to
Speaker 1: actually feel all of those to heal through them. However,
Speaker 1: just don't let it become your emotional home. Know that
Speaker 1: whatever you're going through is for a high purpose, and
Speaker 1: there is massive lessons and massive amounts of growth that
Speaker 1: will help you live a more aligned life, or you'll
Speaker 1: shad parts of your old self or an old belief
Speaker 1: or an old pattern that's not serving you. And when
Speaker 1: I go through hard times in life, I just see
Speaker 1: that as a universe like inviting me in and inviting
Speaker 1: me to level up. And I'm always wanting to be
Speaker 1: better than who I was yesterday. I'm always wanting to
Speaker 1: learn how to communicate more effectively. I'm always wanting to
Speaker 1: know how I can have bigger impact on my audience.
Speaker 1: I'm always wanting to find ways that I can be
Speaker 1: the best parent that I can be, and that requires
Speaker 1: constant awareness and consciousness and a willingness to wanting to
Speaker 1: be able to see my shadows and create light from them.
Speaker 1: So yeah, next question is are you changing the name
Speaker 1: of the podcast because of your old co host or
Speaker 1: because you wanted to regardless a bit of both. If
Speaker 1: I'm being completely honest, I was really attached to the
Speaker 1: name growing Glow because it's had such meaning and I
Speaker 1: really love the concept of just growing through so much
Speaker 1: so that you can glow out the other side. I
Speaker 1: think it's such a beautiful name. But with everything that's
Speaker 1: happened and a new coast host stepping in. I did
Speaker 1: feel like it was a chapter that needed to be
Speaker 1: fully closed. And I felt like, out of respect to
Speaker 1: my old co host and also out of respect to
Speaker 1: my new co host, it was just the right thing
Speaker 1: to do. And when I came up with this new
Speaker 1: name and I put it forward to my new co host,
Speaker 1: it was just a full body Yes, I feel like
Speaker 1: this name that we've got, it just embodies everything that
Speaker 1: we want you to all to feel. And when you
Speaker 1: see and hear the name, you'll be like, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: so fitting. Like it says so much in what two
Speaker 1: words says, and it really is, I suppose, how I
Speaker 1: want to continue to live my life. So the podcast,
Speaker 1: it's just it's where I want to be putting so
Speaker 1: much of my energy into and I'm really excited to
Speaker 1: actually lean into it way more and see what happens
Speaker 1: with it. So yes, bittersweet, but multiple emotions can coexist. Okay,
Speaker 1: next question from following you for years, you have moved
Speaker 1: homes a couple of times. When did you and Steve
Speaker 1: know it was time to sell and change homes? My
Speaker 1: partner and I have outgrown our home, but I'm struggling
Speaker 1: to let go of the memories we've made here. Oh.
Speaker 1: I have this conversation with girlfriends, and some of my
Speaker 1: friends have grown up in the same household their whole life,
Speaker 1: and they just can't imagine, like their parents not being
Speaker 1: and they're not spending Christmas there. I suppose for me,
Speaker 1: I grew up moving houses all the time, like I reckon.
Speaker 1: As a kid, I moved around to probably thirty different homes.
Speaker 1: We were always moving. We had different dairy farms in
Speaker 1: Australia and New Zealand. I was always at different schools.
Speaker 1: I was always a new kid, and so I think
Speaker 1: moving around for me, it's now exciting. I feel like
Speaker 1: it's a new fresh energy, it's a new space. I
Speaker 1: feel inspired again. I love exploring the new area, making
Speaker 1: a new walking track. I really thoroughly enjoy moving homes.
Speaker 1: I don't really stay in a home longer than three years.
Speaker 1: Five has been my max. I don't know. I feel
Speaker 1: like it's part of my personality. I really love it.
Speaker 1: But I understand that you don't want to let go
Speaker 1: of the memories. But I just think of it as
Speaker 1: like a beautiful chapter. It's like in a book when
Speaker 1: you close a chapter, you don't you enjoy the new chapter,
Speaker 1: but you also like think about the old chapter and
Speaker 1: all the memories and the things you've read, like they
Speaker 1: still get to be a part of you. You're not
Speaker 1: fully letting them go, but you get to step into
Speaker 1: something so fresh and exciting. So yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm not the right person to ask because I
Speaker 1: love it so much. We are looking at buying a
Speaker 1: new house next year as well, which is really exciting.
Speaker 1: We own the Onether Way in now, but I just
Speaker 1: don't see it being our forever home. It's been a
Speaker 1: great family home, but I feel like as the kids
Speaker 1: get older, they're going to outgrow it. But then we
Speaker 1: also have the best street with the best neighbors. We've
Speaker 1: all got kids. We all go out in the street
Speaker 1: in the afternoon and all kids play and they're all
Speaker 1: similar ages, and it's just so beautiful and like we've
Speaker 1: got times play that lives near us now, Dee've never
Speaker 1: he doesn't really have a lot of friends that love football,
Speaker 1: so like on a Sunday they will get together watch
Speaker 1: the footy and like it's just a really cool street.
Speaker 1: So I think will be really sad to move the
Speaker 1: street because of our neighbors, actually, But I'm also really
Speaker 1: excited to get into a bigger home and a more
Speaker 1: modern one and one that just I can vision what
Speaker 1: my next house is going to look like, and I'm
Speaker 1: manifesting it, and I'm really excited for that next chapter. Oh,
Speaker 1: this is a heavy question. Do you ever want to
Speaker 1: reach out to see if your father even knows who
Speaker 1: you are? Do you ever get curious on what it
Speaker 1: would be like to have a father? Yes, And it's
Speaker 1: definitely been a little bit more of a recent conversation
Speaker 1: I've been having with myself. I think it was Steve. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Steve asked me a question recently, and it was, how
Speaker 1: would you feel if you're, you know, when your stepdad
Speaker 1: and your father passes away, would you go to the funerals?
Speaker 1: So my stepdad, it was an easy no. I don't
Speaker 1: hold into any anger anymore. I feel like a really
Speaker 1: emotion and he worked through a lot of that from
Speaker 1: my childhood and the way he treated me and what
Speaker 1: he did to my mom and my brothers, And I've
Speaker 1: done a lot of breath work and somatic releases and iyahuasca.
Speaker 1: I don't hold anger towards him. Anymore. But I also
Speaker 1: don't feel a desire to be in his life in
Speaker 1: any way, shape or form. It's kind of like just this.
Speaker 1: I don't know if numbs the right word. I just
Speaker 1: feel no connection or no energetic cord to him at all,
Speaker 1: which I like because for so long in my teens
Speaker 1: and when I was kipped out at home, I just
Speaker 1: I just felt so much sadness. I felt so much
Speaker 1: rejection and abandonment and thought, gosh, my real father didn't
Speaker 1: want me. My stepdad was an asshole and didn't want me, Like,
Speaker 1: what's wrong with me? I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable.
Speaker 1: Will anyone ever loved me? And I had to go
Speaker 1: through that journey of learning how to love myself and
Speaker 1: knowing what I bring to this world. And you know,
Speaker 1: through beautiful events, through Steve and friendships and my mum,
Speaker 1: I now know none of that's true. But yeah, it
Speaker 1: was a really, really hard, long journey. Now my father
Speaker 1: in the other breath once again, I'm not angry at
Speaker 1: him for leaving, but I also feel like I've never
Speaker 1: actually heard his side of the story or where he
Speaker 1: was at emotionally, or even if he doesn't even know
Speaker 1: what was going on for him back then. I'd love
Speaker 1: to know now how he's feeling and if he's ever
Speaker 1: had that curiosity of like I wonder who she is,
Speaker 1: I wonder what she's like. I want to what her
Speaker 1: kids like and say with my brother, we share the
Speaker 1: same father, does he have any curiosity about who he
Speaker 1: is and his life? So there's definitely curiosity, and I've
Speaker 1: been thinking lately how that would look and feel if
Speaker 1: I was to reach out. But I had a session
Speaker 1: with my coach, Conne Chapman about this, and she's a
Speaker 1: lot about going in and really feeling everything, and I
Speaker 1: really had to go in and see if I was
Speaker 1: still searching for outside validation that I'm enough and that
Speaker 1: I'm lovable. And I came to it and I don't
Speaker 1: think I am, which is really beautiful. It was more
Speaker 1: coming from a place of curiosity because she said to me,
Speaker 1: what if you reached out to him and he still
Speaker 1: didn't want to see you, or what if you reached
Speaker 1: out to him and I told you all the things
Speaker 1: that you know your younger self, when you as an
Speaker 1: adult woman, have wanted to hear that it wasn't about you.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I wish I could have shown up, Like,
Speaker 1: what if that still didn't change anything for you? You
Speaker 1: would still be left feeling how you've been left to feel.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's come from a place of curiosity. I
Speaker 1: haven't yet decided if I will reach out to him.
Speaker 1: I think I just have to be okay that if
Speaker 1: I did reach out, one that he may not respond.
Speaker 1: Two he may respond but still not want anything to
Speaker 1: do with me. Three if he did want to catch up,
Speaker 1: how would I feel about that? That makes me really nervous.
Speaker 1: I feel like he is literally a stranger. I don't
Speaker 1: know who he is, and if we met up, what
Speaker 1: if we had no connection. I feel like I would
Speaker 1: have to go into it with no expectations. But I
Speaker 1: feel like lately I just haven't had the capacity or
Speaker 1: space to even lean into that. I think next year
Speaker 1: maybe I was talking about this with my girlfriend Megsie,
Speaker 1: and she just said I would just hate something to
Speaker 1: happen to him, and then you look back and say, fuck,
Speaker 1: I wish I read She's like, I don't want you
Speaker 1: to live in any regrets. So it's definitely on my
Speaker 1: mind at the moment. But yeah, I would love to
Speaker 1: know what it's like to have a supportive dad or
Speaker 1: father like my friends that are like, Oh, I just
Speaker 1: got my dad to come help fix my car, or
Speaker 1: you know, I just think it's so beautiful that father
Speaker 1: daughter bond and I'm always I always have moments of
Speaker 1: sadness that I haven't been able to experience that. However,
Speaker 1: I find my joy in having the most incredible mum
Speaker 1: who's been able to play both roles so beautifully, and
Speaker 1: even now, I feel like she can be so feminine
Speaker 1: and so masculine in a way that just supports whatever
Speaker 1: I'm going through. So I feel like I'm very blessed
Speaker 1: in that department. And I also just get a lot
Speaker 1: of joy in seeing the love and the care and
Speaker 1: everything that Steve gives to Tala and Taj of course,
Speaker 1: but yeah, just seeing how he is with his daughter
Speaker 1: and knowing that she gets to experience a total opposite
Speaker 1: of what I had, and I find a lot of
Speaker 1: joy in that. So I think it makes me even
Speaker 1: more grateful than what maybe I would have been if
Speaker 1: I had had a beautiful dad, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: What is your word going into two thousand and twenty five?
Speaker 1: So my word last year was surrender. I really wanted
Speaker 1: to drop in and surrender to whatever is meant for me,
Speaker 1: whatever's going to happen, whatever changes, I will just surrender
Speaker 1: and experience it all and honor it all and lean
Speaker 1: into it all. And I really loved that word. This year,
Speaker 1: I've got three. My first one is fun. I really
Speaker 1: want to make sure everything I'm doing I can bring
Speaker 1: more joy and bring more fun and bring more laughter,
Speaker 1: because I think life's too short to not be having fun.
Speaker 1: In my work, in my family, in my friendships, in
Speaker 1: my lone time. I just want to have fun. It
Speaker 1: brings me so much joy and makes me really playful
Speaker 1: list my vibration, and I'm just like a funner, high vibe,
Speaker 1: cool person to be around. So I don't not want
Speaker 1: more of that. So that's going to be in the
Speaker 1: forefront of my mind is fun. And when I get
Speaker 1: asked to do opportunities, whether that's speaking events or podcasts
Speaker 1: or go on trips or anything, if I don't think
Speaker 1: it's going to be fun, I think it's going to
Speaker 1: be a hard no. The other word that I'm going
Speaker 1: to be leaning into more is flow. It's very similar
Speaker 1: to surrender. I just feel this like feminine energy around
Speaker 1: the word flow and just being softer. I've had a
Speaker 1: coach for the last three months, and that was my
Speaker 1: main intention, was learning how to soften more, how to
Speaker 1: be open more, how to receive more, how to heal more,
Speaker 1: how to forgive more, how to have more compassion. And
Speaker 1: that three months was really deep work. But I really
Speaker 1: feel like so much shifted for me internally, and I
Speaker 1: feel so much more open and so much more softer,
Speaker 1: which then helps me flow more. So flows another one.
Speaker 1: But the main word that I'm leaning into is curiosity.
Speaker 1: Curiosity to me means like I've got to open mind
Speaker 1: and things that I would normally be scared and maybe
Speaker 1: turned down or make up a story about why I
Speaker 1: can't do something. If I interest me in the slightest,
Speaker 1: it means I'm curious, and I want to lean into that.
Speaker 1: I want curiosity to kind of lead the way, and
Speaker 1: it means I'm going to be open to so many
Speaker 1: more opportunities. I'm going to give more things to go.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to let fear be the one holding
Speaker 1: the torch in my life. I just think curiosity is
Speaker 1: really playful, really fun, really exciting, really like, oh what's next.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like a mystery and I like that
Speaker 1: variety as well, so fun, flow, and curiosity are my
Speaker 1: three words going in twenty twenty five. This is really cute.
Speaker 1: Someone asks what do you love most about Steve? There
Speaker 1: is so many things I love about my beautiful husband.
Speaker 1: The thing lately that's really come through he is just
Speaker 1: my biggest rock. Like literally anything and everything I'm going through.
Speaker 1: He has this ability to be able to hold the
Speaker 1: space to me so well. I need to read the
Speaker 1: room sometimes if he's had like a really stressful day
Speaker 1: and he's tired and exhausted, sometimes I'll wait to like
Speaker 1: unload to him. But ninety five percent of the time
Speaker 1: like the way he holds me and listens to me
Speaker 1: and validates me. But then also he's a Libra, so
Speaker 1: he's very calm, he's very grounded, he's very fair, he's
Speaker 1: very level headed. He is not someone that carries a
Speaker 1: lot of anger. He's not very reactional. He thinks about
Speaker 1: what he says. He's always inspiring me to embody more
Speaker 1: of that. I just love all of that about him,
Speaker 1: and going through something recently, he really has kept me
Speaker 1: so calm and grounded. I've been so proud of how
Speaker 1: I've handled eckier situations, and my responses have been so
Speaker 1: loving and kind, and yeah, I really owe a lot
Speaker 1: of that to him and a lot of my beautiful
Speaker 1: girlfriends as well. But yeah, he just is a very beautiful, kind,
Speaker 1: car balanced, fair person, and I think they're just such
Speaker 1: incredible traits to have. But I love how he just
Speaker 1: loves everything about me. He never judges me, he never
Speaker 1: tries to change anything about me. He just fully accepts
Speaker 1: all of me, which has really helped me on my
Speaker 1: own self love journey because the way he loves me
Speaker 1: helps me love me more too. He's also an incredible
Speaker 1: dad as well, and he can cook a really good
Speaker 1: massmin curry. He's a great cook. What did slowing down
Speaker 1: look like for you this year? How did you know
Speaker 1: what to let go of and what to prioritize? So,
Speaker 1: as you guys know, I had a brain aneurysm. I
Speaker 1: found out in March and I had surgery only three
Speaker 1: months ago. But I felt like as soon as I
Speaker 1: got that news something switched inside me where I was like,
Speaker 1: holy shit, life is so short. I am not happy.
Speaker 1: I need to reevaluate literally everything, and I'm so sick
Speaker 1: and tired of being sick and tired. I just felt
Speaker 1: like my body was so burnt out. I was running
Speaker 1: on adrenaline. I always felt the need to prove, not
Speaker 1: to others, even even just to myself, that I could
Speaker 1: do it, and I was hustling and I could achieve this,
Speaker 1: and it was always looking future and the further goals,
Speaker 1: and I just felt when I was in the hospital
Speaker 1: and I actually had that time and space to just
Speaker 1: sit and reflect, I was like, ohh, I just don't
Speaker 1: want to live like this anymore. And I want to
Speaker 1: like deconstruct the old belief that I have to be
Speaker 1: hustling and working myself and burning myself into the ground
Speaker 1: to be successful. I wanted to redefine what success looked
Speaker 1: like to me, and success now is not about hustling
Speaker 1: and doing one hundred things at once. It's about me
Speaker 1: being able to do the things that bring me a
Speaker 1: lot of joy, light and I can make a lot
Speaker 1: of impact. Success to me is being able to have
Speaker 1: the freedom and the flexibility to be able to be
Speaker 1: with my kids as much as I want to whilst
Speaker 1: working on my mission, which is making a really positive
Speaker 1: impact on women's lives, helping them grow and glow and
Speaker 1: expand helping them not feel so alone, building a community
Speaker 1: where they feel safe to express and to get to
Speaker 1: know themselves on a deeper level. So that's when the
Speaker 1: hard decision came to closing down my active web business
Speaker 1: and then also handing over my health and fitness app
Speaker 1: and programs to Levi, which was a really beautiful transition
Speaker 1: because I love Levi so much and we've worked together
Speaker 1: for the last fifteen years and I'm so excited for
Speaker 1: the things that he's going to expand and grow within
Speaker 1: the app, and all of my challenges are still on there,
Speaker 1: and I'm still a coach on the app, so i
Speaker 1: still feel connected to him and to what you know
Speaker 1: he's doing. But that was really beautiful. Closing down the
Speaker 1: active wear label was really hard because I love active wear,
Speaker 1: but I didn't love running a business. I didn't love
Speaker 1: managing a team. I think it's a very special skill
Speaker 1: to be able to manage a team effectively. Steve is
Speaker 1: incredible at it, and it just wasn't a skill set
Speaker 1: of mine. I felt like I just wanted to be
Speaker 1: everyone's friends and make everyone happy and just like working
Speaker 1: around their schedules, and I would just sometimes hire people
Speaker 1: out of fear or because they're my friends, or I've
Speaker 1: always said it like I don't think I would even
Speaker 1: ever own a business if it wasn't for Steve, Like
Speaker 1: we both have such different strengths and weaknesses that really
Speaker 1: compliment each other. Anyways, back to going on, going on
Speaker 1: a run, back to what's slowing down look like? So, yes,
Speaker 1: it was finding out about my brain aneurism. It was
Speaker 1: closing down baseline. It was creating more space for me
Speaker 1: to be with Taler at home more and just being
Speaker 1: able to finish early and have more time with their kids.
Speaker 1: So Steve, when I finish at like two o'clock most days,
Speaker 1: and then we get that time with Tyler in the afternoon,
Speaker 1: and then we get Taji and then we have the
Speaker 1: time as a family, and that's really beautiful. And I'm
Speaker 1: still busy with what I do. However, the hustle and
Speaker 1: busyness feel so different to what it used to. I'm
Speaker 1: so lit up by the work that I do now
Speaker 1: compared to running an e commerce business. We still have Hideaway,
Speaker 1: but I'm not obviously running that ship. Stevez. I feel
Speaker 1: like the work I get to do now is from
Speaker 1: like a very heart opening centered place of just wanting
Speaker 1: to connect and there's no pressure on what I do.
Speaker 1: There's no timelines and dead I mean, of course I
Speaker 1: need to do podcasts by a certain time, but even
Speaker 1: like coming up to do this podcast, I just love
Speaker 1: the conversations. I love the connection. I love that I
Speaker 1: get to do this. I'm solow today, which is really
Speaker 1: cool actually, but I love that I get to do
Speaker 1: that with a really close friend. I love the producers
Speaker 1: that we work with. They are the most fucking incredible humans.
Speaker 1: I just I love them so much, and I feel
Speaker 1: so grateful that I get to work within a team
Speaker 1: that's just so aligned, and even with Hideaway, like I
Speaker 1: get to do the creative fun stuff. Now I'm not
Speaker 1: bogged down with the logistics of running a business like
Speaker 1: I was with Baseline. I get to literally work on
Speaker 1: my strength, which is marketing and content creation and being
Speaker 1: really creative and doing that with the team and having fun.
Speaker 1: Like my roles are very fun, which is cool because
Speaker 1: that's my word going into next year. But I literally
Speaker 1: have like a big smile on my face because I'm
Speaker 1: so excited for next year to just be able to
Speaker 1: really focus on the podcast and hide Away that's been
Speaker 1: slowing down. For me, it has been just more time
Speaker 1: with my family and doing more things that light me up.
Speaker 1: So I'm not ever as tired and drained and stress
Speaker 1: as what I used to be. So yeah, I'm still busy,
Speaker 1: but I'm not If that makes sense. Oh, I feel
Speaker 1: like I answered that in a roundabout way. When life
Speaker 1: gets busy, what are the key habits and self care
Speaker 1: that you never let slide? For me, it's breath. I
Speaker 1: don't do like a long, heavy breath session every single day,
Speaker 1: but I'll always as soon as I wake up just
Speaker 1: take ten slow, long breaths. It's just a part of
Speaker 1: what I do now. It's like brushing my teeth. I
Speaker 1: always start my day just getting some oxygen and regulating
Speaker 1: myself so that I can start my day calm and
Speaker 1: clear for myself, my kids. Hydration and food. I feel
Speaker 1: like that's something that never really goes out that wind. Know,
Speaker 1: even if I'm not cooking at home as much, I
Speaker 1: still choose healthy options when I'm out. And movement. I
Speaker 1: feel like movements just something that I always prioritize. Health
Speaker 1: and fitness has always been my biggest lifeline. Even when
Speaker 1: I was a little girl, I would dance, I would
Speaker 1: play sport. If I didn't want to be at home
Speaker 1: with my stepdad, I would literally just walk for miles.
Speaker 1: I would go and sprint stairs or just like make
Speaker 1: my own workouts up. I just felt like exercise for
Speaker 1: me and moving my body it's a way that I
Speaker 1: get to move the stagnant energy and any low vibrational feelings.
Speaker 1: Actually physically moving it helped me clear it. So movement
Speaker 1: it definitely would be as well. And then even at night,
Speaker 1: just during my skincare routine, just taking that time to
Speaker 1: really like laden my body, in my face, in my seroms,
Speaker 1: in my creams, and just spending that time loving on myself.
Speaker 1: That never goes out that window either. See. I feel
Speaker 1: like I've really worked on my foundational habits for so
Speaker 1: many years that even when life gets tough or I'm
Speaker 1: more busy in some way, shape or form, those habits
Speaker 1: are just so ingrained with me. I mean, the last
Speaker 1: week I've been flying to Sydney, and I go to
Speaker 1: Sydney and next week and I'm up in Brisbane. I
Speaker 1: haven't been exercising as much, but I was also sick
Speaker 1: last week, so I'm kind of just having a week
Speaker 1: or two off proper movement. I'm still going for a
Speaker 1: couple of little walks and doing some stretches in the morning,
Speaker 1: but I'm just giving my body a bit of arrest,
Speaker 1: and I have zero guilt around that. How do you
Speaker 1: and stead split mental load, cooking, cleaning kids' activities? Does
Speaker 1: this split work for you? And if not, what would
Speaker 1: you change? Steve and I have really good communicator in
Speaker 1: our relationship, and we go through different seasons. But it's
Speaker 1: been really beautiful now that we're both not running big businesses.
Speaker 1: He's still running high Away, but now we don't have
Speaker 1: Baseline as well. I felt like I've been able to
Speaker 1: drop more into my feminine and I've been more enjoying
Speaker 1: cooking for the family, enjoying cleaning up, enjoying being at
Speaker 1: home more, Whereas when I was running Baseline, I was
Speaker 1: in the office and working just as many hours as him.
Speaker 1: That I felt like we still actually made it work
Speaker 1: in the sense. Brene Brown did a talk on it
Speaker 1: a little while ago, and she basically said relationships are
Speaker 1: not fifty. You one day be feeling out a twenty
Speaker 1: percent and your partner might be at eighty percent. So
Speaker 1: they do a lot more that day, and then the
Speaker 1: next day, your partner could have the most stressful day
Speaker 1: at work, but you're feeling amazing. You had a great sleep,
Speaker 1: you had a nice lotch shower, you're feeling energized, and
Speaker 1: you're like, I feel amazing. You go sit down and chill.
Speaker 1: So we would always just communicate where are we at.
Speaker 1: I'm at a fifty, you're at a forty, I'm at
Speaker 1: a ten, and I'm like, okay, go lay down, I've
Speaker 1: got this, and vice versa. So we'd always just be
Speaker 1: communicating and checking, and that's how we would share the load.
Speaker 1: And then even at nighttime, say we've all had dinner together,
Speaker 1: we'll just communicate and say, hey, do you feel like
Speaker 1: doing the bath or do you want to clean the kitchen?
Speaker 1: And normally he would likes to do the kitchen. I
Speaker 1: like to do the bath, so whatever, all we both like,
Speaker 1: we haven't caught up yet. Let's both go sit in
Speaker 1: the bathroom and watch the kids' bath so we can
Speaker 1: talk and catch up and then we'll clean up in
Speaker 1: the morning. You know, it's just all about communication. So
Speaker 1: I feel like the way that we do things really
Speaker 1: works well. And we never used to have this when
Speaker 1: Tage is a baby. I've said this so many times before,
Speaker 1: but we were just not great communicators earlier on in
Speaker 1: our relationship. But I'm so grateful we went through that
Speaker 1: because we learnt so much on how to communicate and
Speaker 1: work as a team now that now it just feels
Speaker 1: so flowy and beautiful and together. There's never any resentment
Speaker 1: because we're both pulling our weight and helping each other
Speaker 1: where we can, and it works really well. So it
Speaker 1: wouldn't change anything at the moment. What is your weekly
Speaker 1: schedule work life balance nowadays since you don't have your
Speaker 1: active wear label, So at the moment, Monday is pretty
Speaker 1: much a full hideaway day. We record a lot of content,
Speaker 1: We go around marketing plans, we talk about new launches,
Speaker 1: we have team meetings. I go down in the warehouse
Speaker 1: and check it on everything. It's a full hideaway day.
Speaker 1: It's the only day that Claudia, our social media girl,
Speaker 1: is in there as well, so yeah, it's all about hideaway.
Speaker 1: I love that Tuesday. I'm back in the office as well,
Speaker 1: and it's more like any leftover hideaway stuff that we
Speaker 1: need to do. But then also I start to catch
Speaker 1: on my admin work, look over my schedule my content things,
Speaker 1: and then Wednesday, as of next year, is going to
Speaker 1: be a podcast day. So mean the new co host
Speaker 1: are having a whole day where we plan out episodes,
Speaker 1: we plan out our future plans, we go out of
Speaker 1: our goals, we film content, we celebrate our wins, we
Speaker 1: get kid connect, we go to a cafe, work in
Speaker 1: our laptops. We just get excited for what's to come
Speaker 1: with the podcast. We're both so excited for next year.
Speaker 1: And we just wanted to have one dedicated day each
Speaker 1: week that that's just for us and our branding and
Speaker 1: our business and our goals and just getting in that
Speaker 1: beautiful energy that we want to put out to the audience.
Speaker 1: Thursday is all day Tyala Day, and then pretty much Friday,
Speaker 1: I'm with Tala all day as well, and then we'll
Speaker 1: get targed from school and then it's the weekend and
Speaker 1: then we can I don't do any work and I
Speaker 1: absolutely love it. Then once a month we come up
Speaker 1: to Brisbane to record the podcast. We'll come up I
Speaker 1: think we're gonna come up on a Wednesday Thursday and
Speaker 1: we stay up here the Wednesday night, so we record
Speaker 1: all day Wednesday and then probably all day Thursday and
Speaker 1: then drive back so we batch to our content that
Speaker 1: just works for my lifestyle with my family, and that's
Speaker 1: all done for the whole next month. So it's really
Speaker 1: cool because it's like two whole days of these beautiful
Speaker 1: conversation and meeting guests and just going deeper and I just, oh,
Speaker 1: I just love it so much. It just lights me up.
Speaker 1: So so yeah, it's really really beautiful. I'm really loving
Speaker 1: my work life balance and I feel like I've got
Speaker 1: a beautiful blend of all the things that I love.
Speaker 1: I also get up and train really early, so I
Speaker 1: get up at four thirty and I train at five.
Speaker 1: My family doesn't wake up till six thirty, Steve, Taj
Speaker 1: and Tala, so I kind of get all my exercise
Speaker 1: in my me time before the days even started, and
Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm in the best energy for them.
Speaker 1: So that's my workout routine at the moment. And yeah,
Speaker 1: then weekends are just full family time. We just hang out,
Speaker 1: try to have no plans, go to parts, go to
Speaker 1: the market, swim in the pool, watch a movie, cook pizzas.
Speaker 1: Every Sunday night we do Homema pizzas, and yeah, it's
Speaker 1: just really beautiful. Someone said, you've spoken about having million
Speaker 1: dollar launches. She actually put at the start. Sorry if
Speaker 1: this is nosy, but you've spoken about having million dollar
Speaker 1: launches with Tone and Baseline. What about Hideaway? Are you
Speaker 1: open to sharing numbers with that business? I've always kind
Speaker 1: of not wanted to share number because I've never wanted
Speaker 1: anyone to think that I'm bragging or that I'm rubbing
Speaker 1: in someone's face or anything like that. But I really
Speaker 1: the last year, I've seen so many business owners celebrate
Speaker 1: their wins and talk about their big launches and talk
Speaker 1: about their strategies behind it and celebrate it with their team,
Speaker 1: and I just love it. I love it so much.
Speaker 1: I've seen so many brands like set up the camera
Speaker 1: and literally watch as their Black Friday sale goes live
Speaker 1: and they're all celebrating, and it's just so beautiful and wholesome,
Speaker 1: and I just think, why should we not celebrate that,
Speaker 1: you know, me doing well or someone else is doing well,
Speaker 1: doesn't take away from your hard work or what's going
Speaker 1: on for you. I think there's just room for everyone.
Speaker 1: And Yeah, I'm starting to kind of be a little
Speaker 1: bit more open about money and my life and my
Speaker 1: achievements and that kind of stuff, whereas always, yeah, I've
Speaker 1: been scared to talk about it. I said that to
Speaker 1: my coach, Taylor. I never want to feel like I'm
Speaker 1: bragging and I want to stay relatable. And he was like,
Speaker 1: that's so interesting. Why do you want to be relatable?
Speaker 1: And I said, I just want everyone to feel close
Speaker 1: and the mean like they can relate to me. And
Speaker 1: he goes, don't you want to be a trailblazer. Don't
Speaker 1: you want to be a leader? Because when I look
Speaker 1: at you, I look at you as a leader. You
Speaker 1: are leading the way. You are showing women that they
Speaker 1: can break through these barriers, break through a hard childhood,
Speaker 1: break through these limiting beliefs, and create their amazing dream
Speaker 1: life that you have done. You have worked so hard.
Speaker 1: And I don't think you should be relatable. I think
Speaker 1: you should be leading the way and being a trailblazer
Speaker 1: and talking about all of that and continue to show
Speaker 1: women the way. And I was like wow. And when
Speaker 1: he said that, I then was looking at other women
Speaker 1: that I was really inspired by, who do talk about
Speaker 1: their wins and their finances and how well their business
Speaker 1: are doing. They show you their new car and the
Speaker 1: new house and all that kind of stuff, and I'm
Speaker 1: so moved and inspired by that. I love seeing them
Speaker 1: be a trailblazer and it helps me see what's possible
Speaker 1: and it really inspires me. I don't find I get
Speaker 1: a lot of jealousy or envy over other women having success.
Speaker 1: For me, I get really excited because I'm like, fuck, yeah,
Speaker 1: look at what she's achieved, look at what she's earned, Like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that's so cool. Like good on her,
Speaker 1: especially if she's got a cool story behind her, or
Speaker 1: especially if she's making big impact. And I just love
Speaker 1: seeing people win. So yeah, this is something I've kind
Speaker 1: of been leaning into, but it feels quite edgy for
Speaker 1: me to talk about, but yeah, I'm happy to talk
Speaker 1: about it. So Hideaway is doing incredible. The last couple
Speaker 1: of months have just been our biggest best ever. It's crazy,
Speaker 1: which is so freaking cool. I'm so proud of Steve
Speaker 1: in particular, but then the whole team, like everyone that's
Speaker 1: involved that's made this happen. We're probably going to hit
Speaker 1: close to three million in our Black Friday sale, which
Speaker 1: is a record for us. So yeah, it's really come
Speaker 1: a long way, and this is like over eight years
Speaker 1: in business with Hideaway, and trust me when I say
Speaker 1: we have had a lot of hard times. There's been
Speaker 1: times where I'm like, how the fuck are we gonna
Speaker 1: get out of this? Like how do we pay these bills?
Speaker 1: You know? Cash flow is really really stressful and hard
Speaker 1: when you have a business of our size now you
Speaker 1: constantly are putting so much money out more money's coming
Speaker 1: in and to juggle or like Se shows me the
Speaker 1: spreadsheet and I'm like, oh my gosh, like I could
Speaker 1: not handle this, but he loves it. My mom's working
Speaker 1: for us full time at the moment. The team just
Speaker 1: works so well together. But yeah, Hidaway's doing amazing. We
Speaker 1: when we're going to get to a lot of wholesaling,
Speaker 1: We've got some massive, massive retailers that are really interested.
Speaker 1: So next year is just going to be really really exciting.
Speaker 1: And I think it's just such a special thing because
Speaker 1: it's still a family owned business. My mum started this
Speaker 1: eight years ago in her kitchen. We've got the most
Speaker 1: incredible team. Like the culture within our team environment is
Speaker 1: so beautiful, and everyone loves our products. It's just really
Speaker 1: really fun. It's really cool, and yeah, I'm very very
Speaker 1: proud of where we're at. So yeah, I definitely don't
Speaker 1: mind talking about it. I just feel like it's a
Speaker 1: little bit edgy. But yeah, as I said, I love
Speaker 1: seeing other people talk about this, and I think from
Speaker 1: a you guys listening, it's just interesting to hear about it.
Speaker 1: Like I'm a bit nosy. I love to hear the
Speaker 1: numbers of what other people are doing. Like I saw
Speaker 1: this other company and they said they made like one
Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars in their first hour of Black Friday,
Speaker 1: and she was like, it was trouble what we made
Speaker 1: last year, and she was so excited, and it's just
Speaker 1: like I commented, I was like, fuck, yes, Like I
Speaker 1: don't even know who you are, but I'm so happy
Speaker 1: for you. I'm so excited for you, and I'm so
Speaker 1: glad that she was talking about and celebrating it and
Speaker 1: all of her customers and like people commenting were so
Speaker 1: stoked for her. So I think it's really cool. If
Speaker 1: you're still listening, thank you so much. I really hope
Speaker 1: you guys enjoyed this. If you did, please leave a review.
Speaker 1: If you love this, you can share this with your
Speaker 1: friend or any of our other episodes. And also if
Speaker 1: you'd love More Q and a episodes like this, maybe
Speaker 1: we could do them every couple of months. Let me
Speaker 1: know in their Facebook forum and if you're not a
Speaker 1: member in there, search Grow and Glow for now and
Speaker 1: then our podcast name will be changing. But all you
Speaker 1: have to do is add yourself in will accept you
Speaker 1: and you can come in and spend time and joining
Speaker 1: the conversations with these other beautiful women who are very
Speaker 1: aligned on the same journey wanting to learn and expand
Speaker 1: and it's just a really nice community. So let me
Speaker 1: know if you like this style of content and I
Speaker 1: can definitely do it again, but with our new cos
Speaker 1: she's got a lot of depth about her as well
Speaker 1: as being cool to have you guys ask her some questions.
Speaker 1: But otherwise, thank you and old be in your ears
Speaker 1: in a couple of days time. Bye mm hm