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Speaker 1: Apodiae production.

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Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the

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Speaker 2: land on which we gathered today and pay our respects

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Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect

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Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara.

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Speaker 3: This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level

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Speaker 3: up together.

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Speaker 1: Let's go deep, let the emotions flow, com find the

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Speaker 1: lessons to grow and glow. Nothing is off the table

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Speaker 1: with Grow and Glow, and we're here to be your expander.

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Speaker 1: Hello guy, Hello, welcome back to another week of goo

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Speaker 1: and Loo. Yeah, you're going a Share of the week.

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Speaker 1: Do you want to go first? Sure? So my share

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Speaker 1: of the Week.

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Speaker 3: I actually wasn't intending to share, but I was talking

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Speaker 3: to Actually about this on the drive up here and

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Speaker 3: she was like, you need to share that.

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Speaker 1: So I thought, all, it's perfecting share for the Share

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Speaker 1: of the week because so many of our audiences are mums. Yes, definitely.

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Speaker 3: So I don't know if you guys remember how I

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Speaker 3: went through that phase with Reagan and I was explaining

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Speaker 3: to ask how she's finally gotten out of this phase now.

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Speaker 3: But every time I would like discipline her, she would

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Speaker 3: laugh at me and I'll be like, no, Reagan. And

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Speaker 3: we went through this whole battle with it. Anyway, She's

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Speaker 3: coming out the other end, and now I'll be like,

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Speaker 3: real girl, that's not nice. And she just turns to

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Speaker 3: water and starts crying. And I said to Ash, she

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Speaker 3: was like, I find it so much easier now she

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Speaker 3: actually understands and comprehends what she's doing. But I said

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Speaker 3: to her, what I do is say if she hits

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Speaker 3: or hurts Miller or Lincoln, I actually walk over to

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Speaker 3: Miller or Lincoln and I give them.

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Speaker 1: All of my attention.

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Speaker 3: So rather than turning and facing Reagan first or saying

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Speaker 3: anything to her, I walk directly to Miller, and wherever

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Speaker 3: she's been hit or hurt, I rub and I kiss

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Speaker 3: and I'm like, oh.

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Speaker 1: My gosh, Miller, baby, I'm so sorry. Are you feeling okay?

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Speaker 1: I was like, that hurts when people hit you, doesn't it.

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Speaker 3: Miller and Reagan, what they're wanting in that moment is

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Speaker 3: your attention. I reckon most of the time when they're

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Speaker 3: lashing out like that, And then Reagan starts to cry

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Speaker 3: and then she comes up and she's like.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sorry Miller.

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Speaker 3: She was like, Wow, it's such a cool idea to

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Speaker 3: actually go to the one who's been hurt, rather than

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Speaker 3: going directly to Reagan and saying Reagan, like, you know,

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Speaker 3: it's not nice, we don't hit first, go to the

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Speaker 3: person mirror. I guess as well, yeah, how you want

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Speaker 3: them to react and respond, and then go to read

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Speaker 3: like and what I say to her is, how can

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Speaker 3: you do that differently last time? I know you're feeling frustrated.

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Speaker 3: Maybe you can come ask mummy for help. Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 3: ask Miller nicely, rather than whacking her in the head

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Speaker 3: and saying help me.

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Speaker 1: And I was saying, because Tyler's too so when she

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Speaker 1: does something that's not nice and I try to explain

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Speaker 1: that to her, she you just cris and screams. So

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Speaker 1: then I'm spending the next like, you know, five ten

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Speaker 1: minutes trying to coregulate and co see with her. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: Taj is what sitting on the couch. He's been hurt.

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Speaker 1: Safety's not there, He's just sitting by himself while I'm

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Speaker 1: comforting her. But he's the one that got hurt. He's

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Speaker 1: the one that got hurt. So when you said that,

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Speaker 1: I was like, wow, I definitely should be. I feel

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Speaker 1: like attending to taj first, but I just think in

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Speaker 1: my head, I'm like, he's older, like he understands. She

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Speaker 1: doesn't understand, so I go to her more. But I'm like,

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Speaker 1: it would be a good way to show her, like, no,

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Speaker 1: that's hurt Taje. You look how sad he is and

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Speaker 1: he needs a cuddle, and then come back to her.

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Speaker 1: I think it's a really good idea. I saw it

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Speaker 1: somewhere one day.

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Speaker 3: It's probably one of those pages on Instagram, you know that,

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Speaker 3: And yeah, soon I saw it, I was like, wow, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'm going to.

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Speaker 1: Do way to handle it. Yeah, mine is something that

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Speaker 1: I saw. It must have been a parenting page. But

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Speaker 1: it's good old Brene Brown. I feel like it's in

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Speaker 1: our parenting pages. I know, it's like my whole feed

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Speaker 1: anything Brene Brown says. I'm just like, mic Job, you

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Speaker 1: are amazing. I think she is such an incredible woman.

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Speaker 4: One of the things that we talk a lot about

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Speaker 4: in our family with our kids, starting probably in third

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Speaker 4: or fourth grade, when friendship stuff starts getting dicey, is

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Speaker 4: candle blower outers and This is a big lesson that

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Speaker 4: we teach our kids. We always say, you know, you've

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Speaker 4: got this flame, and this is your spirit, and this

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Speaker 4: is your soul, and this is your light. And sometimes

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Speaker 4: it'll shine really, really bright. And you want to surround

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Speaker 4: yourself with people who, when it's shining bright, think wow,

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Speaker 4: what a beautiful light. And you want to be the

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Speaker 4: type of friend that when people's lights.

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Speaker 1: You know, when your.

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Speaker 4: Friend's light is shining, you say, man, that's a great light.

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Speaker 4: And you want friends who protect your light. We don't

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Speaker 4: want to surround ourselves with candle blower outers. How many

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Speaker 4: of you have had that experience. We want someone who

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Speaker 4: has room in their life for our light, because our

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Speaker 4: light comes with us.

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Speaker 1: So beautiful, right, beautiful. You want to be around people

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Speaker 1: that celebrate your light and say, wow, that's a beautiful light,

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Speaker 1: rather than try and blow you out and put you

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Speaker 1: down and park you to the side, or tell you

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Speaker 1: you know, your light's not good enough. So cool, What

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Speaker 1: a cool concept. It's a really cool way to explain

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Speaker 1: to the kids. Yeah, keep your light and your fire going,

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Speaker 1: don't ever let anyone blow you out. So cool, So cool.

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Speaker 1: I love Brown, Yeah, I love her too. Well, today's

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Speaker 1: episode is a Q and A based around Baseline and

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Speaker 1: my surgery. Because after I put that episode out, it

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Speaker 1: got more downloads than I think any other episode we've had,

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Speaker 1: and my DM's been flighting. We put it into the

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Speaker 1: forum and there's just a lot of other things to

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Speaker 1: unpack around it, I suppose. So if you haven't listened

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Speaker 1: to that episode, it's titled I Think Brain Surgery and

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Speaker 1: closing down Bassline, listen to that one first and then

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Speaker 1: come back and listen to this one. But we've got

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Speaker 1: a list of questions that Kiara is gonna ask me.

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Speaker 1: There's a couple of kyr at the end as well,

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Speaker 1: so we're just gonna have a little chat about it all.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So first question is what's it been like not

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Speaker 3: having Baseline.

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Speaker 1: Oh, it's been amazing. Yes, it's been so nice. I

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Speaker 1: do miss parts of it, Like I missed the design aspect,

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Speaker 1: I missed the fittings, I miss the creativity of the

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Speaker 1: photo shoots and like that was really fun. But like

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Speaker 1: I said in that other episode, it's like twenty percent

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Speaker 1: of it. I do not miss majority of it, and

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Speaker 1: just the mental load, Like it's honestly what I thought

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Speaker 1: about from the moment I woke up being all day

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Speaker 1: at work, night time, when the kids went to bed,

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Speaker 1: I just never stopped on the weekend. I was always

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Speaker 1: just thinking about, like selling these clothes, and there was

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Speaker 1: so much pressure on me too, because I had to

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Speaker 1: support a team, and like you've got bills to pay

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Speaker 1: and you're aways thinking ahead, Like honestly, my mental lobe

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Speaker 1: was just too much so to not have that. I

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Speaker 1: feel so much freer. I feel so much more relaxed,

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Speaker 1: I feel so much more feminine. I'm so much more

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Speaker 1: in touch with my emotions. I'm so much more calmer

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Speaker 1: with my kids. I have so much more capacity and

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Speaker 1: energy for them and for Steve, and which is a

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Speaker 1: big reason why I close it down, because they are

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Speaker 1: what's important to me. I was like, my values are

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Speaker 1: not matching up how I'm living. I value health, freedom, time,

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Speaker 1: my family, and Baseline's not giving me any of that.

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Speaker 1: Why am I doing this so to be able to

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Speaker 1: actually feel that now, it's really beautiful, that's so yeah,

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Speaker 1: I kept.

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Speaker 3: Saying to Ashi when she was like making this decision,

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Speaker 3: and once you became really like okay with it, when

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Speaker 3: you're like, no, I'm so ready, I was like just

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Speaker 3: imagine your life in like six months from now, a

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Speaker 3: year from now.

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Speaker 1: Different it's going to be. And it's so exciting. It's

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Speaker 1: so exciting and it's crazy. Like I walked in a girlfriend,

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Speaker 1: na Dean's house and her and Tara were there, one

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Speaker 1: of her girlfriends, and they were just like, there's just

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Speaker 1: something different about you. It's like this whole energy. And

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Speaker 1: Nadine's known me since I was fifteen, and so we've

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Speaker 1: got a long standing friendship. She's been there through all

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Speaker 1: the ups and downs, and she's like, I've just never

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Speaker 1: seen you so relaxed, Like it's like this energy. It's

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Speaker 1: just like it's cool. I'm really excited for this next

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Speaker 1: ashy and that's how I feel. And I know it's

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Speaker 1: only going to get better and better. So it's very exciting. Yeap.

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Speaker 3: What we always say like, once you've become aware, you

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Speaker 3: haven't become unaware, and now you're like on this road,

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Speaker 3: you're on.

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Speaker 1: Your feels so right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, what's been one of the biggest things you've

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Speaker 3: learned about yourself?

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Speaker 1: How much I had a masculine shield protecting me, and

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Speaker 1: how much working hard and achieving and proving and hustling

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Speaker 1: was my coping mechanism to keep busy and not feel.

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Speaker 1: And I think to a certain degree, I've allowed my

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Speaker 1: self to feel and heal and get help on everything.

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Speaker 1: But there's a certain level and point that you get

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Speaker 1: to of like feeling that safety in your own body

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Speaker 1: and feeling that sense of calm and really trusting. But

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Speaker 1: when you're so busy all the time, you just can't

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Speaker 1: access that kind of energy. You're in fight or flight,

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Speaker 1: you're constantly on. Like, I've just learned how much I

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Speaker 1: didn't allow myself to rest, and even now I have

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Speaker 1: naps most days on the weekends when Tyler sleeps. I've

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Speaker 1: told myself I'm not a napper, but I'm so exhausted,

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Speaker 1: like I'm just allowing myself to rest, and just how

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Speaker 1: much my body's needed this. There's been so many cool lessons,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, I definitely think from not having a healthy

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Speaker 1: masculine role model growing up. I put a masculine like

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Speaker 1: shield and mask on because I was like, I don't

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Speaker 1: need a man. I can do this by myself. I

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Speaker 1: have to do this by myself. I've got to protect myself.

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Speaker 1: I've got to stand on my own feet. I'm never

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Speaker 1: gonna rely on anyone, and that just doesn't feel good

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Speaker 1: for a feminine at her core. Still at the very

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Speaker 1: beginning of my journey, but learning how to soften has

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Speaker 1: been really cool.

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Speaker 3: How cool, though, to be at the beginning of a

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Speaker 3: new job.

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Speaker 1: I know, if I feel this good now, I can't

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Speaker 1: imagine in six months time now. And I'm getting help

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Speaker 1: for this. I've just hired a feminine coach, someone that

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Speaker 1: embodies all of this. This is her niches, is her passion.

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Speaker 1: She's lived, breathed, and gone through this herself, and I

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Speaker 1: was so drawn to her. So I'm really excited to

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Speaker 1: have her support through navigating this. Because I was talking

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Speaker 1: to Megsy about it. How like you catch yourself going

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Speaker 1: back into old patterns, You're like, oh, hang on, hang on.

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Speaker 1: Like even cleaning yesterday, I had a beautiful day with

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Speaker 1: the kids and then they were just playing and I

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Speaker 1: wanted to, like clean my whole house. I love a

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Speaker 1: clean environment. I stopped myself. I was like, are you

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Speaker 1: doing this because you think you need to be busy

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Speaker 1: and allowed to rest or? Are you doing this because

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Speaker 1: you genuinely want a clean house? And I was like, no,

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Speaker 1: I genuinely, like I have the energy and I feel

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Speaker 1: like I just want to clean up my environment. But

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Speaker 1: I think I've caught myself just like if I sit

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Speaker 1: down and relax, Oh, I've got to do this, I've

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Speaker 1: got to edit this, I've got to always on, there's

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Speaker 1: always a to do list, and now I'm just like

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Speaker 1: letting go more. And even how Nanny called in sick yesterday,

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Speaker 1: and normally that would send me an aspiral, like it

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Speaker 1: would put my work really far behind, especially when you've

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Speaker 1: got a team to show up for, but without base on,

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Speaker 1: I was like, ah, it's okay. Mainly if I can

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Speaker 1: record those podcasts another time, I can have my meeting

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Speaker 1: with my manager another day, and I get to have

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Speaker 1: another day with my kids. And I just went with

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Speaker 1: the flow, and it was so beautiful and so connecting,

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Speaker 1: and there wasn't that pressure of having to show up

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Speaker 1: and go on socials all day barely on my phone.

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Speaker 1: It was so nice I can do that now, whereas yeah,

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Speaker 1: back if we didn't have someone to watch the kids,

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Speaker 1: and I'd be on my phone all day trying to

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Speaker 1: keep up with the stuff and like what was going

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Speaker 1: on at that point in time, And it just felt

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Speaker 1: like I was giving everyone ten percent and I felt

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Speaker 1: so shit. So that's been really cool. That's really cool.

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Speaker 3: How does your work slash home life look and feel now?

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm still working, because I think a

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Speaker 1: lot of people thought that once I closed down base

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Speaker 1: on it just like not doing anything. But it's not

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Speaker 1: like that. I actually have my toes dipped in quite

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Speaker 1: a few different things. And I've always said this in

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Speaker 1: the big episode too, but I've always wanted to help

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Speaker 1: more with Hideaway, but I haven't had the capacity. My

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Speaker 1: bandwidth was so stretched. It was like if Steve asked

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Speaker 1: me to do something, I'm like, babe, I can't, Like,

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Speaker 1: when am I going to do that? Whereas now I've

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Speaker 1: been able to get on the creative side of things

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Speaker 1: with Hideaway, all the marketing, the social media, the stuff

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Speaker 1: that really lights me up and gets me in that

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Speaker 1: really playful because feminine women were quite creative, but I

259
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Speaker 1: felt like I lost a lot of that whilst running

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Speaker 1: the business because it was so masculine. But now I

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Speaker 1: get to be so feminine and playful and silly and

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Speaker 1: fun and bring that into the work that really benefits

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Speaker 1: a business. It's really helping our business. So I've been

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Speaker 1: doing a lot of that and putting more time into

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Speaker 1: thinking about grow and glow. But otherwise just more time

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Speaker 1: with the kids and like more cooking and more cleaning

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Speaker 1: and more nurturing my house, like my home and Steve

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Speaker 1: and just I'm so much calmer with the kids. I'm

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Speaker 1: so much calmer for them. I have more space for them,

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Speaker 1: I've got more capacity. My tone has changed so much

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Speaker 1: with how I speak to them. Not that it was

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Speaker 1: ever really bad, but definitely if I was stretched, tired,

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Speaker 1: or work was on my mind, which was you know,

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Speaker 1: so often, I just felt like I was a bit

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Speaker 1: more shorter with them, and little things would irritate me

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Speaker 1: more because I was just stretched. Whereas now like I

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Speaker 1: just flow more with them, and I've got just yeah,

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Speaker 1: more space with them, which is so nice. They would

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Speaker 1: feel that, They would definitely feel that. You definitely seem

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Speaker 1: a lot more well regulated. So well regulated, Like you

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Speaker 1: asked me this morning how I'm feeling about surgery, Like

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Speaker 1: everyone keeps asking me, expecting me to be like so stressed,

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Speaker 1: and I almost like I keep saying, I'm waiting for

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Speaker 1: the anxiety to kick in, Like you guys are listening

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Speaker 1: to this on Monday, Like I go into hospital this Wednesday.

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Speaker 1: You can see I feel so calm. Yeah, I feel

287
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Speaker 1: so good. I had to go to the hospital last

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Speaker 1: week for like four hour appointment. They checked my heart,

289
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Speaker 1: they checked my bloods. I spoke to the ansthesius person.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if that's what you call them, the

291
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Speaker 1: person that knocks you out. I got a full body

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Speaker 1: check from a doctor. They asked a hundred million questions,

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Speaker 1: and even that I just was like, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Just feel so trusting and I know that everything's just

295
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Speaker 1: been so flowy and perfect and beautiful. So I just, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I do feel really regulated. I think I'm tired. I

297
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Speaker 1: feel like I manage stress very well, but my body

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Speaker 1: still feels it. So I feel tired just from going

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Speaker 1: through all of this. It's been a lot. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: I feel calm about it, and I just fully trust

301
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Speaker 1: this is exactly my path. If I did not lose

302
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Speaker 1: my sight, and if I did not find out I

303
00:13:31,521 --> 00:13:34,001
Speaker 1: had a brain aneurism, would all of this be happening

304
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Speaker 1: right now. I would have kept pushing. I would have

305
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Speaker 1: kept pushing. There's no way I would have even considered

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Speaker 1: that as an option. And how long have I been

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Speaker 1: pushing for feeling like that probably a lot longer than

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Speaker 1: what I want to admit, if I'm being completely honest. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I feel bad saying that because I had a team

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Speaker 1: and like I did love parts of it, but I

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Speaker 1: think I've been pushing for way longer than I would

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Speaker 1: want to admit.

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Speaker 3: What are the risks involved with you getting your surgery

314
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Speaker 3: or not getting surgery?

315
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Speaker 1: So the risks of not getting surgery is kind of

316
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Speaker 1: walking around like a ticking time bomb at any point

317
00:14:08,601 --> 00:14:12,481
Speaker 1: of time, and aneurism can burst. If it does, it's

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Speaker 1: likely that you will die or you will stroke, and

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00:14:17,081 --> 00:14:20,921
Speaker 1: they're huge things. You could have just permanent brain damage.

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Speaker 1: Your body does not function how I'm used to, so

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00:14:24,081 --> 00:14:27,361
Speaker 1: they're pretty scary things. So that's why they put it

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Speaker 1: to me. When I went the second time they suggested surgery,

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Speaker 1: I was like, but it's not big and like, you know,

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Speaker 1: last time, you guys pretty much said I'll come back

325
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Speaker 1: ever read once a year and just get it checked.

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Speaker 1: And I was kind of shocked, and they said, just

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Speaker 1: think of this like it's preventing that from happening if

328
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Speaker 1: we can do something about it. And yes, yours is

329
00:14:42,201 --> 00:14:46,521
Speaker 1: small earth than some, but it's big enough that it

330
00:14:46,521 --> 00:14:50,481
Speaker 1: can still rupture, so why would you risk that going

331
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Speaker 1: into surgery. There is still risks though. It's like one

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Speaker 1: to two people in every hundred stroke on the table

333
00:14:56,961 --> 00:14:59,441
Speaker 1: and one to two people on the table have a

334
00:14:59,521 --> 00:15:02,001
Speaker 1: rupture on the table. But she said, if it's going

335
00:15:02,081 --> 00:15:04,001
Speaker 1: to happen, you want it happening on the table because

336
00:15:04,001 --> 00:15:08,081
Speaker 1: I'm right here, so I can prevent or lessen the

337
00:15:08,161 --> 00:15:11,161
Speaker 1: damage that potentially could happen to you. Whereas if you're

338
00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:14,441
Speaker 1: out shopping or at training and you have a bleed

339
00:15:15,161 --> 00:15:16,921
Speaker 1: by the time you get to the hospital, it could

340
00:15:16,921 --> 00:15:19,161
Speaker 1: be too late. The damage on your brain could be

341
00:15:19,281 --> 00:15:23,121
Speaker 1: too far gone. So it's more risking not to get

342
00:15:23,121 --> 00:15:25,561
Speaker 1: the surgery, Yes, especially when you've got so much more

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Speaker 1: of your life to live. Yeah, like I'm only thirty

344
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Speaker 1: five and I have two kids. But yeah, that's definitely

345
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Speaker 1: the scariest thing about going in this week to surgery

346
00:15:33,201 --> 00:15:35,521
Speaker 1: is like that thought of like I could wake up

347
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Speaker 1: and I could have had a stroke, and I might

348
00:15:37,281 --> 00:15:39,201
Speaker 1: not have access to be able to use my left

349
00:15:39,281 --> 00:15:42,321
Speaker 1: arm and leg how I've always used it. I could

350
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Speaker 1: wake up and have brain damage if it's bled. I

351
00:15:44,201 --> 00:15:46,681
Speaker 1: don't know, like that is a possibility, So that's the

352
00:15:46,721 --> 00:15:49,121
Speaker 1: scariest thing, is like, and Steve's been through this, so

353
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Speaker 1: he said he remembers waking up. He was way more

354
00:15:51,281 --> 00:15:53,841
Speaker 1: complicated than mine. He couldn't see for six weeks, so

355
00:15:53,921 --> 00:15:56,521
Speaker 1: he woke up and he's just basically blind and every

356
00:15:56,601 --> 00:15:58,401
Speaker 1: day he's waking up checking if he can see, and

357
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Speaker 1: he can't see. So it's just six weeks is a

358
00:16:01,481 --> 00:16:04,561
Speaker 1: long time as well to imagine, so might not just

359
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Speaker 1: be waking up in like did everything go to plan?

360
00:16:06,681 --> 00:16:06,761
Speaker 2: Like?

361
00:16:06,801 --> 00:16:09,521
Speaker 1: Am I okay? That will be my first question? And

362
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Speaker 1: then they said the day that I get surgery, I mean,

363
00:16:11,881 --> 00:16:13,401
Speaker 1: ic you of twenty four hours, I have a nurse

364
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Speaker 1: with me the whole time, and they wake you up

365
00:16:15,521 --> 00:16:17,201
Speaker 1: every hour to like do test to make sure that

366
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Speaker 1: your brain's working. And Steve's like, I remember that. So

367
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Speaker 1: that would just be yeah, nerve racking, I suppose. But

368
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Speaker 1: then once I get home, I think I'll be like cool,

369
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Speaker 1: I'm all good, and then I just have to rest

370
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Speaker 1: for a couple of weeks.

371
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Speaker 3: What were your weaknesses with running a business now? Reflecting back.

372
00:16:33,801 --> 00:16:39,881
Speaker 1: Many I'm not good with finances. I'm not I hate it.

373
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Speaker 1: I'm not good at it. It overwhelms me, I almost

374
00:16:42,681 --> 00:16:44,961
Speaker 1: like just like turn a blind eye to it. Even

375
00:16:44,961 --> 00:16:46,841
Speaker 1: with LEVI I would like try and explain things to me.

376
00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:48,401
Speaker 1: I'm like, as long as you've got it covered, I

377
00:16:48,521 --> 00:16:51,401
Speaker 1: really don't care. I don't want to not numbers, like

378
00:16:51,521 --> 00:16:53,921
Speaker 1: it's not my driver. But when you run a business,

379
00:16:53,961 --> 00:16:56,001
Speaker 1: you can't avoid that. You have to be involved in it.

380
00:16:56,041 --> 00:16:58,721
Speaker 1: You have to understand it. I don't think I'm the

381
00:16:58,801 --> 00:17:05,721
Speaker 1: greatest team leader really no, especially watching Steve. I'm too

382
00:17:05,761 --> 00:17:10,441
Speaker 1: friendly and to buddy buddy and like fit around everyone

383
00:17:10,441 --> 00:17:13,801
Speaker 1: else's schedule and like very flexible, which is great and

384
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:17,041
Speaker 1: I don't regret that, but it's almost like, where's the boundaries.

385
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,840
Speaker 1: I didn't set boundaries, and sometimes I think I felt

386
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:23,161
Speaker 1: a little bit taken advantage of, or just different situations

387
00:17:23,201 --> 00:17:25,201
Speaker 1: which I won't go into because they're personal, but different

388
00:17:25,241 --> 00:17:27,281
Speaker 1: situations where I'm like, whoa, if this was any other

389
00:17:27,321 --> 00:17:29,360
Speaker 1: normal job, or I'd be like relaying the story to

390
00:17:29,481 --> 00:17:32,521
Speaker 1: like you or Nadina or someone. They're like that doesn't

391
00:17:32,521 --> 00:17:34,561
Speaker 1: fucking happen in a real job. You can't just not

392
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:36,321
Speaker 1: turn up or you can't just not do this. You know,

393
00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:38,400
Speaker 1: there's just different situations. I was like, no, it's okay,

394
00:17:38,481 --> 00:17:40,840
Speaker 1: Like I get it, but then the stress would be

395
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,961
Speaker 1: on me. So I just feel like I wasn't very

396
00:17:42,961 --> 00:17:46,480
Speaker 1: good at separating friendship with work and worrying the different

397
00:17:46,481 --> 00:17:48,400
Speaker 1: hats because I wanted to be liked, I wanted to

398
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,041
Speaker 1: be accepted. I wanted them to think I was a

399
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:53,080
Speaker 1: cool boss. I wanted them to love every moment at work.

400
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,600
Speaker 1: I really found that hard, where Steve was like, just

401
00:17:56,681 --> 00:17:58,281
Speaker 1: you can't be that friendly like that, they're to do

402
00:17:58,321 --> 00:18:00,120
Speaker 1: a job, blah blah. I know, but that's easy for

403
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,920
Speaker 1: a man to say. Like women, we connect, we talk.

404
00:18:03,321 --> 00:18:05,200
Speaker 1: I genuinely care about these women. I want to know

405
00:18:05,241 --> 00:18:06,920
Speaker 1: about their weekends. I want to know what's happening in

406
00:18:06,921 --> 00:18:08,841
Speaker 1: their lives. I want them to be happy. I want

407
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:10,520
Speaker 1: to support them with their kids. I want to, you know,

408
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,920
Speaker 1: do all those things. But I think it, Yeah, it

409
00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:15,321
Speaker 1: was just hard to manage, to be honest, I just

410
00:18:15,321 --> 00:18:16,561
Speaker 1: don't think I was very good at And I watch

411
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,201
Speaker 1: how Steve manages his hideaway team, and he's so fucking

412
00:18:19,201 --> 00:18:21,200
Speaker 1: good at it. Yeah, he's friends with them all and

413
00:18:21,241 --> 00:18:23,521
Speaker 1: they all love and respect him, and they've got such

414
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:26,721
Speaker 1: great culture. Respect. That's a word too. When it gets

415
00:18:26,761 --> 00:18:27,201
Speaker 1: too friendly.

416
00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:30,281
Speaker 3: Sometimes it can blur the line of like respectfulness to your.

417
00:18:30,201 --> 00:18:33,200
Speaker 1: Boss and you. And I think I noticed differently how

418
00:18:33,201 --> 00:18:36,281
Speaker 1: they'd be around me compared to Stephen Levi. I was

419
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:38,001
Speaker 1: like their buddy that they felt so comfortable with, and

420
00:18:38,001 --> 00:18:40,360
Speaker 1: it was just like a different energy. And I was like,

421
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,041
Speaker 1: this is my fault. Though I've set this up, so

422
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,081
Speaker 1: take full responsibility, but I'm just not very good at it.

423
00:18:44,521 --> 00:18:46,721
Speaker 1: I'm not good at it, never have been. Yeah, I

424
00:18:46,721 --> 00:18:48,681
Speaker 1: don't know how to draw those lines and put boundaries

425
00:18:48,721 --> 00:18:51,480
Speaker 1: in so that was a massive weakness. When you can

426
00:18:51,521 --> 00:18:54,200
Speaker 1: reflect back sometimes hey, I know, and I take full responsibility.

427
00:18:54,321 --> 00:18:56,041
Speaker 1: This is not on my team, not at all. They

428
00:18:56,041 --> 00:18:58,561
Speaker 1: were incredible staff members. They worked so fucking hard for

429
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,281
Speaker 1: the brand. And I'm talking like this isn't just the

430
00:19:01,321 --> 00:19:03,360
Speaker 1: most recent period. Like remember I've been in business for

431
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:07,281
Speaker 1: fifteen years. My closest friends worked with me. I can't

432
00:19:07,281 --> 00:19:10,121
Speaker 1: separate that, like I've been close with majority of them.

433
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,361
Speaker 1: Like it's such a hard thing. So this is not

434
00:19:12,441 --> 00:19:14,600
Speaker 1: just speaking of recent staff members. This has gone on

435
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,680
Speaker 1: for the last fifteen years, and it's something Steve's always

436
00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:18,361
Speaker 1: commented on.

437
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,961
Speaker 3: Aside from exercise, will you be changing up your health

438
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,561
Speaker 3: routine after surgery at all.

439
00:19:24,441 --> 00:19:26,241
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I got all my blood's done with Levi,

440
00:19:26,321 --> 00:19:28,041
Speaker 1: and I'm going through a big process with him, and

441
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:30,561
Speaker 1: he wants to do a lot of actual genetic testing.

442
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:35,481
Speaker 1: I think my brain aneurysm is hereditary and there's obviously

443
00:19:35,481 --> 00:19:39,880
Speaker 1: genetic weaknesses, and because all the people on my father's

444
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,681
Speaker 1: side have either died from my aneurysm or they've got

445
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:44,920
Speaker 1: one and it's being monitored, so it's obviously runs my family.

446
00:19:45,001 --> 00:19:47,521
Speaker 1: So he wants to actually put me on some supplements

447
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:49,840
Speaker 1: that will help strengthen my capillaries and my blood flow.

448
00:19:49,961 --> 00:19:51,920
Speaker 1: We need to do some further testing on that. He

449
00:19:51,961 --> 00:19:55,680
Speaker 1: wants to just investigate my genetic weaknesses more in depth.

450
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:57,801
Speaker 1: And I'm so lucky I've got him to be able

451
00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,041
Speaker 1: to go thro because I wouldn't have a clue how

452
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,561
Speaker 1: to do any of this, and he's, you know, so

453
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,481
Speaker 1: supportive and wants to do that with me. So Yeah,

454
00:20:03,481 --> 00:20:05,401
Speaker 1: there'll be different supplements that will probably take the rest

455
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,201
Speaker 1: of my life that will help hopefully lessen my chances

456
00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:11,480
Speaker 1: of another aneurysm forming. Amazing because they have told me

457
00:20:11,561 --> 00:20:14,360
Speaker 1: that it's quite likely another one will form by the

458
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:17,441
Speaker 1: time I die, okay, So Levi's like, let's do everything

459
00:20:17,481 --> 00:20:20,840
Speaker 1: we can to stop that. Sorry, as exercise, exercise is

460
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,601
Speaker 1: good for me, I don't think that's something I will

461
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,361
Speaker 1: ever not do. And I eat a really well balanced diet,

462
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,440
Speaker 1: so nothing else will really change. But as I'm entering

463
00:20:27,481 --> 00:20:30,880
Speaker 1: this softer season, I just think the more resting and

464
00:20:30,961 --> 00:20:33,561
Speaker 1: not being hustling and going and stressing all the time,

465
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,600
Speaker 1: I think naturally I'm just going to feel more calmer

466
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,721
Speaker 1: and healthier. And even like this last couple of months,

467
00:20:39,721 --> 00:20:43,281
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm definitely more inflamed. My skin's broken out,

468
00:20:43,321 --> 00:20:45,840
Speaker 1: my skin's more oily. I definitely feel my digestic system

469
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:47,801
Speaker 1: isn't the best at the moment, and I really do

470
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,720
Speaker 1: put it down to stress, like stress is just like

471
00:20:51,441 --> 00:20:54,160
Speaker 1: a killer. Yeah. And like I said, I'm feel regulated,

472
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,080
Speaker 1: but my body is showing symptoms of just like yeah, inflammation,

473
00:20:57,561 --> 00:20:59,201
Speaker 1: And I'm not allowed to take any of my supplements

474
00:20:59,201 --> 00:21:02,080
Speaker 1: at the moment either, can't take tumeric, magnesium, zinc all

475
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:05,680
Speaker 1: my stuftimes to stop it three weeks up to it,

476
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,121
Speaker 1: which is huge for me. I've taken supplements all the time,

477
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,761
Speaker 1: so I just don't feel as good. So I'm looking

478
00:21:10,761 --> 00:21:14,200
Speaker 1: forward to after surgery obviously being put to sleep and

479
00:21:14,281 --> 00:21:16,680
Speaker 1: like antibiotics and anything that put me on, my gut's

480
00:21:16,721 --> 00:21:19,281
Speaker 1: going to be completely torn to shreds. So I'm gonna

481
00:21:19,281 --> 00:21:21,600
Speaker 1: have to start a whole like gut protocol, do a

482
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:25,001
Speaker 1: full course of probotic, lots of broths out glued. Am

483
00:21:25,041 --> 00:21:27,440
Speaker 1: I just really trying to rebuild my gut lining and

484
00:21:27,481 --> 00:21:29,400
Speaker 1: even leave I setup to surgery, which I would have

485
00:21:29,441 --> 00:21:32,280
Speaker 1: naturally done anyway as well. Was like broth soups, just

486
00:21:32,281 --> 00:21:35,481
Speaker 1: things that are really easily broken down in your system.

487
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,201
Speaker 1: So no like red meats or anything. Slow cook stuff

488
00:21:38,201 --> 00:21:40,561
Speaker 1: would be really good just so your body doesn't have

489
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,281
Speaker 1: to work to digest it. You want to kind of

490
00:21:42,281 --> 00:21:45,400
Speaker 1: give your stomach a lot of rest time. So quite

491
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,481
Speaker 1: a process after that. Yeah, okay till I'm feeling good again.

492
00:21:48,681 --> 00:21:50,880
Speaker 3: Do you know how long you'll be unable to exercise

493
00:21:50,961 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 3: for and how will you navigate that given it's so

494
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 3: important to you.

495
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,641
Speaker 1: So I will probably be having four weeks in total

496
00:21:58,681 --> 00:22:02,400
Speaker 1: off and then easing back in with like walking and

497
00:22:02,441 --> 00:22:05,281
Speaker 1: then just lightweights and build myself up after that, And

498
00:22:05,321 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 1: I'm okay with that. I think rest is not spoken

499
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,521
Speaker 1: about enough, especially after surgery. I'm not going to go

500
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,801
Speaker 1: be silly and go lift weights or go for a

501
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:13,521
Speaker 1: run or anything.

502
00:22:13,561 --> 00:22:13,680
Speaker 3: Like.

503
00:22:13,721 --> 00:22:16,601
Speaker 1: My body needs the rest to recover, So I'm excited

504
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,481
Speaker 1: for the rest time, to be honest, and I feel

505
00:22:18,521 --> 00:22:20,080
Speaker 1: like I'm not going to feel any guilt about it.

506
00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:21,480
Speaker 1: Like I can't wait to lay around the house and

507
00:22:21,521 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 1: just not have anything to do. It's what my mind

508
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:26,561
Speaker 1: and body needs. Lap it up while you actually have. Yeah,

509
00:22:26,561 --> 00:22:30,281
Speaker 1: this whole thing, I think the universe was like shaking

510
00:22:30,321 --> 00:22:32,601
Speaker 1: me up to force me to slow down. And it's

511
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 1: got to the point that I didn't listen to all

512
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:37,080
Speaker 1: the signs and signals and messages. Then now it's forced

513
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,041
Speaker 1: me to do it through surgery. I'm not going to

514
00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 1: ignore that anymore. No, I will listen to all the

515
00:22:41,921 --> 00:22:44,201
Speaker 1: symptoms my body gives me and know that they're there

516
00:22:44,201 --> 00:22:44,881
Speaker 1: for a purpose.

517
00:22:45,761 --> 00:22:50,081
Speaker 3: So, yeah, how did you explain the surgery to Taj

518
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,081
Speaker 3: and how has he reacted to it?

519
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,801
Speaker 1: Taj is very emotionally intelligent, Like we even had a

520
00:22:55,961 --> 00:22:57,640
Speaker 1: meeting with his teacher at the end of term last

521
00:22:57,681 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 1: term and she said he's just well beyond his years

522
00:23:00,961 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 1: the way he can articulate his emotions. So I just

523
00:23:05,360 --> 00:23:07,600
Speaker 1: spoke to him like I would you. Yeah, I fully

524
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:11,281
Speaker 1: explained it, and he's like, I'm going to miss you

525
00:23:11,281 --> 00:23:13,521
Speaker 1: when you're in hospital. A couple of little comments like that,

526
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,881
Speaker 1: but overall he's pretty good about it. We will need

527
00:23:16,921 --> 00:23:20,120
Speaker 1: to get the kids checked. That's tricky because I was

528
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 1: trying to explain the MRI machine and he was like,

529
00:23:22,241 --> 00:23:24,720
Speaker 1: I'm not going in there. So that's going to be

530
00:23:24,921 --> 00:23:28,120
Speaker 1: tricky to navigate. Obviously, you can sedate your kids and

531
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:29,920
Speaker 1: give them things to calm them down, but I just

532
00:23:29,921 --> 00:23:32,680
Speaker 1: don't want it it to be a traumatic experience in

533
00:23:32,721 --> 00:23:34,481
Speaker 1: case like he's going to have to have these later

534
00:23:34,481 --> 00:23:37,640
Speaker 1: on in life. So I'm not sure how ill navigate that.

535
00:23:37,921 --> 00:23:42,881
Speaker 1: There maybe have to be some sort of bribery.

536
00:23:40,321 --> 00:23:43,721
Speaker 3: Yeah.

537
00:23:43,801 --> 00:23:45,641
Speaker 1: I don't use it often, but if you do this,

538
00:23:45,801 --> 00:23:48,521
Speaker 1: I will buy you whatever nerve gud you want, honestly,

539
00:23:49,281 --> 00:23:51,321
Speaker 1: So I think we'll use some bribery just to make

540
00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:56,961
Speaker 1: it a fun, exciting experience incentive. Yeah, he loves staying

541
00:23:56,961 --> 00:23:58,680
Speaker 1: in high rise buildings, and maybe we'll say, if we

542
00:23:58,721 --> 00:24:00,281
Speaker 1: do this, we'll go to have a night, you know,

543
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,720
Speaker 1: at Q one or whatever. So I think if we

544
00:24:02,801 --> 00:24:05,001
Speaker 1: make it fun for him. I think that will be

545
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:06,761
Speaker 1: the way to get through it. And then I'm not

546
00:24:06,761 --> 00:24:09,920
Speaker 1: sure about Tyler. It's just so little. But yeah, we

547
00:24:10,001 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 1: definitely need to get them checked. Both Steve and I

548
00:24:11,681 --> 00:24:14,360
Speaker 1: are having them. Steve's my hereditary. He hasn't had any

549
00:24:14,521 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 1: in his family, but mine is Steve's just because you

550
00:24:17,921 --> 00:24:21,120
Speaker 1: both have, the likelihood is pretty high.

551
00:24:21,201 --> 00:24:23,881
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you get them checked now, right, and then

552
00:24:24,281 --> 00:24:26,080
Speaker 3: it need to be consistent thing because they can just

553
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:26,881
Speaker 3: form at anytime.

554
00:24:27,481 --> 00:24:30,441
Speaker 1: So I'll get checked three months post surgery, six months

555
00:24:30,481 --> 00:24:33,121
Speaker 1: post surgery, twelve months post surgery, and then every year

556
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:34,241
Speaker 1: after that, yeah, the rest.

557
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:35,801
Speaker 3: Of me, and then the same for the kids. Right,

558
00:24:35,921 --> 00:24:38,081
Speaker 3: Like if they got checked there, maybe in a couple

559
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:38,361
Speaker 3: of years.

560
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,041
Speaker 1: If they get checked and there's nothing there, I think

561
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,400
Speaker 1: it'll be like every five years. Yeah it won't.

562
00:24:44,201 --> 00:24:47,561
Speaker 3: Yeah, do you feel already more feminine or how is

563
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:48,440
Speaker 3: that journey going?

564
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,600
Speaker 1: So much? So? But I also feel like I'm just

565
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:54,241
Speaker 1: at the start, Like I definitely feel so much more.

566
00:24:54,241 --> 00:24:57,681
Speaker 1: But when I listen to podcasts or like talk about

567
00:24:57,681 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 1: these conversations with my girlfriends, I'm like far out of it.

568
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:01,801
Speaker 1: A long way to go, but I'm really excited for

569
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,360
Speaker 1: that that used to be quite daunting for me. But

570
00:25:04,441 --> 00:25:06,521
Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm like just scratching the service

571
00:25:06,561 --> 00:25:08,640
Speaker 1: at the moment and still learning about it all. And

572
00:25:08,681 --> 00:25:10,801
Speaker 1: that's why I've hired a coach, Like I've invested in,

573
00:25:10,921 --> 00:25:12,281
Speaker 1: like paying a lot of money to have a coach,

574
00:25:12,281 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 1: because I'm like, I want to really understand all of

575
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,880
Speaker 1: this and then really embody it and have the accountability

576
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:20,960
Speaker 1: of someone like being there to do it with me,

577
00:25:21,801 --> 00:25:23,361
Speaker 1: because it's one thing to understand it, but are you're

578
00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:25,640
Speaker 1: actually practicing it? This is going to take a lot

579
00:25:25,681 --> 00:25:30,120
Speaker 1: of conscious practice. This is something I'm implementing every single

580
00:25:30,201 --> 00:25:32,360
Speaker 1: day from the way I moved, the way I talk.

581
00:25:32,921 --> 00:25:34,801
Speaker 1: Even yes Iday grocery shopping and I find myself like

582
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:37,920
Speaker 1: rushing around like getting it all done. I was like, oh, girl,

583
00:25:38,241 --> 00:25:40,801
Speaker 1: just take a breath. If I can love grocery shopping,

584
00:25:40,801 --> 00:25:44,001
Speaker 1: why am I rushing this. There's no need to rush

585
00:25:44,001 --> 00:25:46,001
Speaker 1: through the aisles. I like looking at all the products

586
00:25:46,041 --> 00:25:48,281
Speaker 1: and just taking my sweet ass time, especially with no

587
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:53,201
Speaker 1: kids with kids, so just like court myself, I'm so

588
00:25:53,321 --> 00:25:55,521
Speaker 1: used to rushing and getting as much done in my

589
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,721
Speaker 1: day as I can. I was like, no, then take

590
00:25:57,801 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 1: my time. Yeah, even at the Place Center. Yes, they

591
00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:02,360
Speaker 1: took the kids at the Place Center. God, that place

592
00:26:02,441 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 1: is overwhelming the same breath. I was like, who cares.

593
00:26:07,521 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 1: Just go with it. You've got nowhere to be. There's

594
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,161
Speaker 1: no rush. They want to play over here, they want

595
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,360
Speaker 1: to stop for a snack. Cool where was Normally I'd

596
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,721
Speaker 1: be like, hey, we've got forty five minutes, we're getting out,

597
00:26:16,721 --> 00:26:19,321
Speaker 1: We're getting this done. You know. I'm just trying to

598
00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:21,920
Speaker 1: really slow everything down. And the more I do that,

599
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,481
Speaker 1: the calm I feel, The more in tune I feel

600
00:26:24,481 --> 00:26:28,481
Speaker 1: with myself, more nurturing I am to them, and more creative.

601
00:26:28,521 --> 00:26:31,441
Speaker 1: I am so creative and hideaway now, and like even

602
00:26:31,481 --> 00:26:34,400
Speaker 1: just my content, I'm loving creating cool content that's so

603
00:26:34,481 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 1: authentic to me, whereas I think I was creating it before.

604
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,001
Speaker 1: With I had to think about selling a product. I

605
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,160
Speaker 1: had to sell baselines, so I had to base my

606
00:26:42,201 --> 00:26:45,001
Speaker 1: content around my brand, and yeah, that was fun, It's

607
00:26:45,041 --> 00:26:48,481
Speaker 1: not bad. But now my content is just literally what

608
00:26:48,761 --> 00:26:52,001
Speaker 1: I'm feeling, whether it's something funny with Steve, whether it's

609
00:26:52,001 --> 00:26:54,401
Speaker 1: like cute moments with my kids. There's no pressure anymore.

610
00:26:54,801 --> 00:26:56,880
Speaker 1: Like what you see is exactly what I'm going through.

611
00:26:56,921 --> 00:27:01,240
Speaker 1: And this just feels so nice. Yeah, So definitely flowing

612
00:27:01,281 --> 00:27:04,001
Speaker 1: a lot more. But I can't wait to have this

613
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:08,120
Speaker 1: conversation six months. It's time and to just yeah see

614
00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:09,880
Speaker 1: where I'm at. Yeah, it's exciting.

615
00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:11,721
Speaker 3: I even feel like, you know, sometimes we talk about

616
00:27:11,761 --> 00:27:14,400
Speaker 3: like reflecting back on old episodes. Yeah, Like I feel like,

617
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,640
Speaker 3: especially this journey, how we're both kind of like really

618
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,961
Speaker 3: slowing down. We'll be looking back on time and be like, wow, girl,

619
00:27:20,281 --> 00:27:20,881
Speaker 3: take a chill.

620
00:27:21,441 --> 00:27:23,960
Speaker 1: But I feel like you and I even talking slower.

621
00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:26,400
Speaker 1: You go back a year ago, people used to think

622
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,400
Speaker 1: we were on fast forward, Like we talk so fast

623
00:27:29,441 --> 00:27:31,721
Speaker 1: and we get excited, and I think we'll always have

624
00:27:31,801 --> 00:27:37,120
Speaker 1: moments like that, but I think overall runs. Yeah, you

625
00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 1: guys will hear that we've just slowed down how we talk,

626
00:27:40,481 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 1: and that just feels nicer because it's Yeah, it's a

627
00:27:43,681 --> 00:27:46,961
Speaker 1: more calming energy too. Yeah. The empowered feminine. She is soft,

628
00:27:47,001 --> 00:27:52,441
Speaker 1: she's flowing, she's surrendering, she's open, she's magnetic. It's not forced,

629
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:56,041
Speaker 1: it's not structured, it's not rushing. It's the opposite of that.

630
00:27:56,681 --> 00:27:58,360
Speaker 1: And it's so cool to embody more of that. But

631
00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 1: it takes practice, definitely, Yeah, do.

632
00:28:01,001 --> 00:28:04,720
Speaker 3: You have any advice for people navigating a similar health situation.

633
00:28:05,441 --> 00:28:07,081
Speaker 1: I've actually been asked this a lot, and a lot

634
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:10,801
Speaker 1: of people are going through similar and just like an

635
00:28:10,801 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 1: anxious wreck. They're so scared, and I get it. It

636
00:28:13,321 --> 00:28:16,561
Speaker 1: is so scary, but I don't know. It sounds so simple.

637
00:28:17,281 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 1: I truly just do have this inner trusting and knowing

638
00:28:19,961 --> 00:28:22,160
Speaker 1: that it's going to work out exactly how it's meant to.

639
00:28:22,681 --> 00:28:25,041
Speaker 1: And I think when you try and force things to

640
00:28:25,041 --> 00:28:27,440
Speaker 1: be a certain way, or you're expecting or hoping, or

641
00:28:27,481 --> 00:28:31,081
Speaker 1: like you're just manifesting, creating so much more stress, you're

642
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:34,481
Speaker 1: almost putting yourself through something twice, putting yourself through something

643
00:28:34,521 --> 00:28:36,920
Speaker 1: that isn't even your reality yet. Like I'm not going

644
00:28:37,001 --> 00:28:39,200
Speaker 1: to put myself and put my energy, put my body

645
00:28:39,241 --> 00:28:42,441
Speaker 1: through that that it might not even happen. Just trust it,

646
00:28:42,641 --> 00:28:44,761
Speaker 1: go with the flow. And yes, I'm still scared, but

647
00:28:45,321 --> 00:28:47,960
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just really know this is my

648
00:28:48,081 --> 00:28:50,321
Speaker 1: path and I'm also really grateful for it. If I

649
00:28:50,321 --> 00:28:52,281
Speaker 1: didn't know this, it could rupture tomorrow and I might

650
00:28:52,361 --> 00:28:55,200
Speaker 1: not be here. And there's also so many people that

651
00:28:55,281 --> 00:28:57,841
Speaker 1: have so much worse off things, like I'm grateful I

652
00:28:57,841 --> 00:29:00,161
Speaker 1: get to have surgery for an hour or two, go

653
00:29:00,201 --> 00:29:02,041
Speaker 1: home after three nights, and some people on the hospital

654
00:29:02,081 --> 00:29:06,041
Speaker 1: for six months. I can do this. This isn't what

655
00:29:06,121 --> 00:29:07,520
Speaker 1: a lot of people have to go through like this

656
00:29:07,561 --> 00:29:11,201
Speaker 1: seems small in comparison. I don't know if that's healthy

657
00:29:11,281 --> 00:29:13,201
Speaker 1: or not. But I've always coped well with going through

658
00:29:13,241 --> 00:29:16,081
Speaker 1: hard at times, knowing that it could be so much worse.

659
00:29:16,681 --> 00:29:19,641
Speaker 1: It helps bring gratitude into your situation rather than going

660
00:29:19,681 --> 00:29:24,201
Speaker 1: in the spiral of victim. It really does. Yeah, yeah, Do.

661
00:29:24,121 --> 00:29:26,761
Speaker 3: You think you would still have made the decision to

662
00:29:26,801 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 3: close Baseline if you didn't have a health scare?

663
00:29:29,921 --> 00:29:39,041
Speaker 1: Oh, I've toyed on this. I don't know. I don't

664
00:29:39,081 --> 00:29:42,801
Speaker 1: think so so bad to say, isn't it. I don't

665
00:29:42,801 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 1: want to label it, but I think I would have

666
00:29:44,521 --> 00:29:48,081
Speaker 1: kept pushing. Like I said in that big episode, it's like,

667
00:29:48,601 --> 00:29:51,161
Speaker 1: never give up. Be tough times, but you gotta keep going.

668
00:29:51,601 --> 00:29:54,681
Speaker 1: You got responsibilities, Like you know, this is just part

669
00:29:54,681 --> 00:29:57,401
Speaker 1: of business. It's not always going to be good. Could

670
00:29:57,441 --> 00:29:59,241
Speaker 1: take the good with the bad. They're the kind of

671
00:29:59,241 --> 00:30:01,801
Speaker 1: things that I would say to myself. It would have

672
00:30:01,801 --> 00:30:03,481
Speaker 1: taken a lot to do it, and it would have

673
00:30:03,561 --> 00:30:06,841
Speaker 1: been way more. I don't know, harder and painful. I

674
00:30:06,841 --> 00:30:09,321
Speaker 1: felt like this was just the universe kind of sending

675
00:30:09,321 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 1: you on your path. Yeah. Yeah, like even when I

676
00:30:12,481 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 1: owned the gym, I kept that two years longer than

677
00:30:14,201 --> 00:30:17,321
Speaker 1: what I should have. My ego kept me there. Yeah,

678
00:30:17,361 --> 00:30:20,161
Speaker 1: but I don't know, do you reckon I would have.

679
00:30:20,201 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 1: I'm not sure from the outside. I wasn't enjoying it

680
00:30:22,521 --> 00:30:23,081
Speaker 1: for a while.

681
00:30:23,281 --> 00:30:27,041
Speaker 3: I think you might have eventually, but I think he

682
00:30:27,121 --> 00:30:29,801
Speaker 3: would have rain yourself to the ground before you did.

683
00:30:31,121 --> 00:30:33,601
Speaker 1: I was exhausted. You were exhausted, and I was hating

684
00:30:33,601 --> 00:30:37,081
Speaker 1: it and I felt so stark. Yeah, but I just

685
00:30:37,161 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 1: kept powering on. I noticed myself like just I don't know,

686
00:30:40,761 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 1: trying to numb out like I would scroll more. I

687
00:30:43,281 --> 00:30:46,361
Speaker 1: was eating more, keeping more busy because I just didn't

688
00:30:46,361 --> 00:30:48,801
Speaker 1: want to stop and think about it. I wasn't coping.

689
00:30:49,161 --> 00:30:52,281
Speaker 3: Yeah, life had your back, Life had my back, that's

690
00:30:52,281 --> 00:30:55,321
Speaker 3: for sure. It's crazy, hey, and like, it's such a

691
00:30:56,161 --> 00:31:00,321
Speaker 3: not great situation to obviously be in. But the amount

692
00:31:00,401 --> 00:31:03,521
Speaker 3: it's already transformed your life and it hasn't even happened yet.

693
00:31:03,601 --> 00:31:06,801
Speaker 3: I know, nothing actually physically changing your body.

694
00:31:06,561 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 1: What a gift. I know, how crazy is that. You

695
00:31:08,761 --> 00:31:10,641
Speaker 1: know what would have been really stressful is having to

696
00:31:10,681 --> 00:31:12,960
Speaker 1: go through the surgery and then come back to the

697
00:31:12,961 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 1: business like I just oh, I don't. I don't have

698
00:31:16,321 --> 00:31:19,121
Speaker 1: the capacity for that. I wouldn't have even been able

699
00:31:19,121 --> 00:31:20,761
Speaker 1: to rest in recover. I would have been so much

700
00:31:20,761 --> 00:31:23,641
Speaker 1: more stress this whole time. Sometimes you have to let

701
00:31:23,681 --> 00:31:26,161
Speaker 1: go of something to create the space. Something had to give,

702
00:31:26,681 --> 00:31:28,601
Speaker 1: Something had to give. I couldn't imagine going to the

703
00:31:28,641 --> 00:31:32,561
Speaker 1: surgery while still running back. No imagine either. It's a

704
00:31:32,641 --> 00:31:36,001
Speaker 1: huge business too, like to come out of that Nahn,

705
00:31:36,241 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 1: that would not have been nice.

706
00:31:37,681 --> 00:31:39,841
Speaker 3: And even like you said, the lead up beforehand, being

707
00:31:39,841 --> 00:31:43,161
Speaker 3: in that sort of mental state and having nowhere near

708
00:31:43,241 --> 00:31:45,241
Speaker 3: the amount of calm energy that you have right now.

709
00:31:45,081 --> 00:31:47,321
Speaker 1: I would have been so anxious. I reckon that'd be

710
00:31:47,361 --> 00:31:49,641
Speaker 1: a completely different energy. That's been the gift in it.

711
00:31:49,761 --> 00:31:53,281
Speaker 3: Hey, yeah, will you continue to do the ultimate girl's

712
00:31:53,361 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 3: day out or will you take a step back from that?

713
00:31:55,881 --> 00:31:59,281
Speaker 1: Definitely continue to do those. We love them, and anyone

714
00:31:59,281 --> 00:32:01,081
Speaker 1: that's been you would see that. Like Levi and I

715
00:32:01,121 --> 00:32:02,841
Speaker 1: are such a good team. But he is the masculine,

716
00:32:02,881 --> 00:32:05,321
Speaker 1: I'm the feminine. He leads, Yeah, he really does run

717
00:32:05,401 --> 00:32:07,480
Speaker 1: a lot of that day. I'm there for all of it,

718
00:32:07,561 --> 00:32:10,121
Speaker 1: but he's more like the leader in it. I'm more

719
00:32:10,201 --> 00:32:12,321
Speaker 1: the nurturer. I'm the one that goes around and like

720
00:32:12,361 --> 00:32:14,361
Speaker 1: talks to all the girls and holds them and cuddles them,

721
00:32:14,401 --> 00:32:17,161
Speaker 1: and like I'm that person for them on that day,

722
00:32:17,401 --> 00:32:19,481
Speaker 1: which is just so beautiful. Lights me up. Like those

723
00:32:19,521 --> 00:32:22,561
Speaker 1: days literally are seventeen hour days for us. By the

724
00:32:22,601 --> 00:32:25,041
Speaker 1: time we get up, go and set up, by the

725
00:32:25,041 --> 00:32:26,921
Speaker 1: time the girls go home and we pack it all down,

726
00:32:26,961 --> 00:32:30,721
Speaker 1: it's a seventeen hour day on our feet, energy out

727
00:32:31,041 --> 00:32:33,121
Speaker 1: and I go home and I'm full of beans. Yeah,

728
00:32:33,361 --> 00:32:36,441
Speaker 1: that's how you know what you're doing. Your love is right,

729
00:32:36,561 --> 00:32:40,481
Speaker 1: so aligned, so well aligned. And the contrast of that

730
00:32:40,521 --> 00:32:42,721
Speaker 1: to baseline once again, it was like, this is not

731
00:32:43,321 --> 00:32:45,681
Speaker 1: serving me anymore. Does not light me up with something

732
00:32:45,721 --> 00:32:48,441
Speaker 1: like this. I'm like, oh, same with this. I don't

733
00:32:48,441 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 1: know if you've noticed, but when we have guests on

734
00:32:50,561 --> 00:32:52,761
Speaker 1: or people ask like how many episodes we do and

735
00:32:52,801 --> 00:32:54,161
Speaker 1: we're like, oh, we do, you know, six on the

736
00:32:54,161 --> 00:32:56,761
Speaker 1: Thursday and on the Friday, Oh my god, Like do

737
00:32:56,841 --> 00:32:59,841
Speaker 1: you that many? Yeah? And I look at them like yeah,

738
00:32:59,881 --> 00:33:03,121
Speaker 1: but we're just chatting we're two best friends. We have conversation.

739
00:33:04,201 --> 00:33:06,801
Speaker 1: It's beautiful, such a beautiful It is not training. If

740
00:33:06,801 --> 00:33:08,401
Speaker 1: it was training, we would not we wouldn't be still

741
00:33:08,401 --> 00:33:08,561
Speaker 1: doing it.

742
00:33:08,681 --> 00:33:10,641
Speaker 3: It wouldn't be able to do that many of its training.

743
00:33:10,841 --> 00:33:12,601
Speaker 1: Yeah, no way worries. When I used to run my

744
00:33:12,641 --> 00:33:16,281
Speaker 1: own podcast and do one guest by myself, I was wiped. Yeah,

745
00:33:16,561 --> 00:33:19,081
Speaker 1: so drained from like setting up the podcast and like

746
00:33:19,121 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 1: making sure the sounds all good to the Nah no

747
00:33:23,281 --> 00:33:26,481
Speaker 1: wonder only did like twenty something episodes. I just hated it. Yeah,

748
00:33:26,761 --> 00:33:28,721
Speaker 1: and that's when when I came to you, like, see

749
00:33:28,721 --> 00:33:30,321
Speaker 1: if you want to do this podcast with me, I

750
00:33:30,361 --> 00:33:32,801
Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to do any of the logistics,

751
00:33:32,801 --> 00:33:36,961
Speaker 1: Like that takes away all the fun, all the good energy,

752
00:33:37,121 --> 00:33:40,521
Speaker 1: all the creativity. It just wipes it from me. But yeah,

753
00:33:40,521 --> 00:33:42,761
Speaker 1: the Ultimate Girl's day Out, like I just love them.

754
00:33:42,801 --> 00:33:45,161
Speaker 1: We actually want to do some different style retreats next year,

755
00:33:45,361 --> 00:33:48,161
Speaker 1: some that involve the kids as well, So we've got

756
00:33:48,201 --> 00:33:51,161
Speaker 1: some cool ideas. But the Ultimate Girl's Day Out will

757
00:33:51,161 --> 00:33:53,001
Speaker 1: be staying live. I wants to change the name though,

758
00:33:53,161 --> 00:33:56,081
Speaker 1: Oh really, yeah, I don't know. He just doesn't like

759
00:33:56,121 --> 00:33:58,801
Speaker 1: the name The Ultimate Girl's Day out. I think it

760
00:33:58,881 --> 00:34:01,521
Speaker 1: just encompasses everything that it is and it is the

761
00:34:01,761 --> 00:34:05,601
Speaker 1: ultimate so much girls day out, Like yeah, and I

762
00:34:05,641 --> 00:34:07,121
Speaker 1: was like, I'm open to it, but I don't know

763
00:34:07,121 --> 00:34:07,721
Speaker 1: what he'd call it.

764
00:34:07,721 --> 00:34:10,601
Speaker 3: It'd be interested to see what he changes it. I

765
00:34:10,681 --> 00:34:12,960
Speaker 3: know a name that embodies it all.

766
00:34:13,121 --> 00:34:16,361
Speaker 1: I would also love to work with some more men.

767
00:34:16,761 --> 00:34:20,401
Speaker 1: I think men need some more healthy, soft feminine energy,

768
00:34:20,921 --> 00:34:23,041
Speaker 1: and I would love to be holding space for men

769
00:34:23,121 --> 00:34:25,441
Speaker 1: as they go through a transformative day like the ultimate

770
00:34:25,441 --> 00:34:27,361
Speaker 1: girl's day out. Yes, I don't know how that looks

771
00:34:27,441 --> 00:34:29,281
Speaker 1: right now. I just sent ly by a bunch of

772
00:34:29,361 --> 00:34:30,761
Speaker 1: waste messages one day and I was like, I don't

773
00:34:30,801 --> 00:34:33,241
Speaker 1: know how this looks and feels to you, but I'm

774
00:34:33,281 --> 00:34:35,681
Speaker 1: feeling this pool of wanting to work and hold space

775
00:34:35,681 --> 00:34:38,081
Speaker 1: for men out. I don't know what it is. I

776
00:34:38,161 --> 00:34:43,641
Speaker 1: just really love me more now. Men need more support.

777
00:34:43,641 --> 00:34:45,721
Speaker 1: The more support they can get, you know. Yeah, And

778
00:34:45,761 --> 00:34:48,921
Speaker 1: it's healthy for us to be around healthy masculine but

779
00:34:48,961 --> 00:34:51,361
Speaker 1: it's also really beautiful for them to be around soft

780
00:34:51,361 --> 00:34:53,801
Speaker 1: feminine because that's when they open up, when they release

781
00:34:53,841 --> 00:34:56,521
Speaker 1: and may be vulnerable. I just think that's so beautiful.

782
00:34:56,561 --> 00:34:57,921
Speaker 1: So I don't know what we'll do with it. But

783
00:34:57,961 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 1: I just said, I'm just throwing this out to you.

784
00:34:59,921 --> 00:35:01,241
Speaker 1: Let's have a day where we get out of white

785
00:35:01,241 --> 00:35:04,441
Speaker 1: butt and explore different options. So yeah, I definitely want

786
00:35:04,441 --> 00:35:06,521
Speaker 1: to lean more into do more retreats. That's so cool.

787
00:35:06,601 --> 00:35:08,721
Speaker 3: Yeah, exciting and yeah, just doing all the things that

788
00:35:08,841 --> 00:35:11,841
Speaker 3: feel right. Yes, well aligned, light you up, aren't.

789
00:35:11,721 --> 00:35:14,361
Speaker 1: Raining of your energy, they're boosting that energy. And it's

790
00:35:14,401 --> 00:35:16,881
Speaker 1: like when you close one door, you open up. I

791
00:35:16,921 --> 00:35:18,041
Speaker 1: feel like five more.

792
00:35:18,521 --> 00:35:20,721
Speaker 3: Especially wanted to spass so much, Yeah, taking out so

793
00:35:20,801 --> 00:35:21,161
Speaker 3: much peper.

794
00:35:21,281 --> 00:35:23,121
Speaker 1: Yeah. So, like as I said to Leve, I like,

795
00:35:23,121 --> 00:35:25,761
Speaker 1: I'm not attached to anything, like whatever is meant to

796
00:35:25,761 --> 00:35:27,761
Speaker 1: come fa us and I'm open to any ideas. If

797
00:35:27,801 --> 00:35:32,441
Speaker 1: it feels right, let's lean in. If it doesn't feel right, yeah, yeah,

798
00:35:32,481 --> 00:35:34,961
Speaker 1: So Ultimate Girl's out and next one is August eleventh

799
00:35:35,001 --> 00:35:37,321
Speaker 1: in Brisbane. So's steal some tickets to that. If you

800
00:35:37,361 --> 00:35:39,081
Speaker 1: want to come along, leave the link in the show

801
00:35:39,121 --> 00:35:41,001
Speaker 1: notes below. But yeah, I'm excited for that.

802
00:35:41,161 --> 00:35:42,801
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's honestly such an incredible day.

803
00:35:42,881 --> 00:35:43,921
Speaker 1: Yeah.

804
00:35:44,241 --> 00:35:47,561
Speaker 3: Curious whether anything from the baseline closure episode sat with

805
00:35:47,641 --> 00:35:51,521
Speaker 3: Kiara and will she implement anything similar or she ever

806
00:35:51,561 --> 00:35:55,601
Speaker 3: considered a similar path around closing Love Ellis Rose. Well,

807
00:35:55,841 --> 00:35:58,961
Speaker 3: I feel like you've probably noticed over the last three years,

808
00:35:59,041 --> 00:36:00,601
Speaker 3: I've drastically changed the.

809
00:36:00,601 --> 00:36:02,441
Speaker 1: Way that I've actually done stuff with Love Ellis Row

810
00:36:02,601 --> 00:36:03,081
Speaker 1: so much.

811
00:36:03,161 --> 00:36:06,521
Speaker 3: We I gave so much of my time and my

812
00:36:06,681 --> 00:36:10,041
Speaker 3: effort and my energy into Love Ellis Rose. And really,

813
00:36:10,081 --> 00:36:12,601
Speaker 3: as soon as I started on my healing journey, probably

814
00:36:12,641 --> 00:36:14,801
Speaker 3: two years ago, it made me kind of realize what

815
00:36:14,961 --> 00:36:17,721
Speaker 3: was important, and I've changed everything drastically. We used to

816
00:36:17,721 --> 00:36:19,281
Speaker 3: have a shop that we ran. I was in there

817
00:36:19,361 --> 00:36:22,481
Speaker 3: every single day. I did huge days. Kurt and I

818
00:36:22,481 --> 00:36:25,921
Speaker 3: were up most nights, like with suppliers, had a whole

819
00:36:25,961 --> 00:36:28,201
Speaker 3: garage full of stock, plus a shop full of stock,

820
00:36:28,561 --> 00:36:31,481
Speaker 3: and it was great. It was fulfilling, it was amazing.

821
00:36:31,561 --> 00:36:34,841
Speaker 3: But when I started to do this work, I realized that,

822
00:36:35,041 --> 00:36:38,281
Speaker 3: you know, I can't be working that hard and that

823
00:36:38,441 --> 00:36:41,361
Speaker 3: much and also work on myself at the same time.

824
00:36:41,401 --> 00:36:42,001
Speaker 1: I just couldn't.

825
00:36:42,481 --> 00:36:45,241
Speaker 3: So over the years, I've drastically pulled back on what

826
00:36:45,281 --> 00:36:47,281
Speaker 3: I've done with Love Els Rose, and now it's not

827
00:36:47,321 --> 00:36:48,041
Speaker 3: a burden at all.

828
00:36:48,441 --> 00:36:49,081
Speaker 1: I love it.

829
00:36:49,081 --> 00:36:51,601
Speaker 3: It feels beautiful, it feels so well aligned. I just

830
00:36:51,681 --> 00:36:53,961
Speaker 3: get to pick what stock that I like Kurtie and

831
00:36:53,961 --> 00:36:57,761
Speaker 3: I shoot the photos. It's really flowy and really easy,

832
00:36:57,921 --> 00:37:00,241
Speaker 3: and it feels really beautiful right now in this season.

833
00:37:00,401 --> 00:37:03,081
Speaker 3: Kurt loves it. He loves every aspect of it. It's

834
00:37:03,081 --> 00:37:05,761
Speaker 3: so funny. He loves photography. Yeah, he loves like doing

835
00:37:05,761 --> 00:37:07,081
Speaker 3: all the website.

836
00:37:06,601 --> 00:37:08,881
Speaker 1: The like, Yeah, all the bits and pieces. I love

837
00:37:08,881 --> 00:37:11,001
Speaker 1: this about your business because not many business like I

838
00:37:11,041 --> 00:37:13,201
Speaker 1: did not have that in baseline. But if you want

839
00:37:13,201 --> 00:37:14,841
Speaker 1: it to be busier, you can order more stock. And

840
00:37:14,881 --> 00:37:16,241
Speaker 1: if you want it to be quiet, you don't order

841
00:37:16,281 --> 00:37:18,161
Speaker 1: as much. You'll take it easy, like you literally have

842
00:37:18,241 --> 00:37:20,521
Speaker 1: full control week to week on what you do. It's

843
00:37:20,601 --> 00:37:21,521
Speaker 1: even fucking cool.

844
00:37:21,641 --> 00:37:23,481
Speaker 3: Yeah, even some weeks we won't even order stock. I'll

845
00:37:23,521 --> 00:37:24,881
Speaker 3: be like, oh, let's just like, you know, if we

846
00:37:24,921 --> 00:37:27,321
Speaker 3: had a you know, big sale or something okay for

847
00:37:27,361 --> 00:37:29,000
Speaker 3: the next week or two, like we've just been working

848
00:37:29,041 --> 00:37:30,601
Speaker 3: off our feet, let's take a step back. Kids are

849
00:37:30,601 --> 00:37:33,081
Speaker 3: on holidays, let's not order any new stock. So yeah,

850
00:37:33,121 --> 00:37:36,081
Speaker 3: it's in a really good flexible spot right now. And

851
00:37:36,121 --> 00:37:38,601
Speaker 3: I think, like Kurt and I go back and forth like, oh,

852
00:37:38,601 --> 00:37:40,721
Speaker 3: it was so like nice, And especially Kurt, I think

853
00:37:40,721 --> 00:37:43,201
Speaker 3: he's driven to do a little bit more with it,

854
00:37:43,641 --> 00:37:46,881
Speaker 3: which I think he will probably lean back into, especially

855
00:37:46,921 --> 00:37:49,081
Speaker 3: as the kids get a little bit older. But yeah,

856
00:37:49,081 --> 00:37:52,561
Speaker 3: it feels really nice right now. There's no stress with it.

857
00:37:52,561 --> 00:37:56,321
Speaker 3: It's beautiful, it's well aligned, and yeah, I think it's honestly,

858
00:37:56,361 --> 00:37:57,881
Speaker 3: it's just not a burden at all. Like it's not

859
00:37:58,001 --> 00:37:59,921
Speaker 3: something where I'm like, oh my gosh, this is stressing me.

860
00:38:00,481 --> 00:38:02,041
Speaker 3: I feel like, if anything, I go back and forth

861
00:38:02,041 --> 00:38:04,081
Speaker 3: with YouTube, it takes up a lot of my time.

862
00:38:04,321 --> 00:38:06,361
Speaker 3: Like what it always COMESU do for me is like, Okay,

863
00:38:06,641 --> 00:38:08,960
Speaker 3: how much time does it take out of my week?

864
00:38:09,001 --> 00:38:11,721
Speaker 3: Which for you baseline was huge as well. How does

865
00:38:11,761 --> 00:38:14,401
Speaker 3: my energy feel afterwards? And I love filming when I've

866
00:38:14,401 --> 00:38:17,561
Speaker 3: got the energy and the capacity. I don't love editing anymore.

867
00:38:17,961 --> 00:38:20,921
Speaker 3: I'm not learning like I've been doing editing now. Honestly,

868
00:38:20,921 --> 00:38:22,801
Speaker 3: for like eight years before I were on YouTube, I

869
00:38:22,881 --> 00:38:24,441
Speaker 3: used to do it for people. So I feel like

870
00:38:24,841 --> 00:38:26,721
Speaker 3: I've learned as much as I want to learn. And

871
00:38:26,761 --> 00:38:28,480
Speaker 3: now that I'm learning so much more about like self

872
00:38:28,481 --> 00:38:30,841
Speaker 3: development all these other things, it's more aligned with me.

873
00:38:31,001 --> 00:38:33,201
Speaker 3: So I'm not getting the same fulfillment out of it

874
00:38:33,241 --> 00:38:35,161
Speaker 3: as I was. So I think eventually I'll just upload

875
00:38:35,161 --> 00:38:36,081
Speaker 3: a youtubedeo when I want.

876
00:38:35,961 --> 00:38:36,481
Speaker 1: To upload it.

877
00:38:36,641 --> 00:38:40,521
Speaker 3: Yeah, but yeah, no, I think otherwise. I feel really

878
00:38:40,601 --> 00:38:42,801
Speaker 3: good right now with where I'm at and what I'm doing,

879
00:38:42,961 --> 00:38:44,881
Speaker 3: and I feel really lucky that I can kind of

880
00:38:44,921 --> 00:38:46,681
Speaker 3: you know, ebb and flo out of what feels good

881
00:38:46,761 --> 00:38:48,961
Speaker 3: overall compared to how it was like three years ago.

882
00:38:49,041 --> 00:38:51,521
Speaker 1: Holy shit, Like I look back, I Curt now up

883
00:38:51,561 --> 00:38:53,041
Speaker 1: to midnight doing stuff.

884
00:38:53,081 --> 00:38:55,801
Speaker 3: We were like, yeah, it was crazy and like, yeah,

885
00:38:55,801 --> 00:38:58,041
Speaker 3: we were making a lot of money, but sometimes it's.

886
00:38:57,881 --> 00:39:02,361
Speaker 1: Like is it worth at what cost? What cost? Yeah?

887
00:39:02,441 --> 00:39:04,441
Speaker 3: Yeah, and like even time for us to have quality

888
00:39:04,481 --> 00:39:06,281
Speaker 3: time together and that like there was just no room

889
00:39:06,321 --> 00:39:08,801
Speaker 3: for that. And now I feel like the balance is

890
00:39:08,881 --> 00:39:09,881
Speaker 3: so much nicer.

891
00:39:10,241 --> 00:39:12,601
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's such a cool thing for you to talk

892
00:39:12,641 --> 00:39:15,041
Speaker 1: about the money, because I think most people were like

893
00:39:15,081 --> 00:39:16,081
Speaker 1: why would you not earn more?

894
00:39:16,401 --> 00:39:16,601
Speaker 3: Yeah?

895
00:39:16,601 --> 00:39:18,481
Speaker 1: And even like I've had it so much, like are

896
00:39:18,521 --> 00:39:20,641
Speaker 1: you gonna sell Baseligne? Or like how can you just

897
00:39:20,641 --> 00:39:22,561
Speaker 1: close it down? Like when that makes money that I'm like,

898
00:39:22,641 --> 00:39:25,521
Speaker 1: at what costs? Though? What's more important? And just because

899
00:39:25,521 --> 00:39:27,361
Speaker 1: I stopped making money in that business, does it not

900
00:39:27,401 --> 00:39:28,721
Speaker 1: mean that I can make money elsewhere?

901
00:39:28,881 --> 00:39:29,161
Speaker 3: Yeah?

902
00:39:29,241 --> 00:39:31,321
Speaker 1: I've got my toes and other things, and I enjoy

903
00:39:31,401 --> 00:39:33,121
Speaker 1: making money over here, and maybe I'll have more space

904
00:39:33,121 --> 00:39:35,081
Speaker 1: to make more money over there, but that's not my

905
00:39:35,201 --> 00:39:39,041
Speaker 1: driving force to keep your business because of money, No away. Yeah,

906
00:39:39,081 --> 00:39:40,201
Speaker 1: and yeah, love Elis rose.

907
00:39:40,241 --> 00:39:43,401
Speaker 3: For a long time, it was everything, like I had

908
00:39:43,401 --> 00:39:45,761
Speaker 3: to give it so much of my attention every single day,

909
00:39:45,761 --> 00:39:47,721
Speaker 3: those constantly things that we had going on.

910
00:39:47,801 --> 00:39:50,761
Speaker 1: And yeah, more staff too. We had so much at

911
00:39:50,761 --> 00:39:51,281
Speaker 1: one point.

912
00:39:51,561 --> 00:39:53,121
Speaker 3: Yeah, we had a lot going on. So we had

913
00:39:53,161 --> 00:39:55,121
Speaker 3: like a designer, We had all this stuff overseas, like

914
00:39:55,121 --> 00:39:56,041
Speaker 3: we were doing the whole.

915
00:39:57,041 --> 00:39:57,881
Speaker 1: Like I don't know how.

916
00:39:57,721 --> 00:40:02,641
Speaker 3: You did what you did for so long, because yeah,

917
00:40:02,641 --> 00:40:04,241
Speaker 3: we only did that for quite a short period of time.

918
00:40:04,241 --> 00:40:05,841
Speaker 3: And pretty quickly I was like, well I think too,

919
00:40:05,881 --> 00:40:07,521
Speaker 3: because I went through all of my shit life.

920
00:40:07,361 --> 00:40:08,041
Speaker 1: Pushed it again.

921
00:40:08,121 --> 00:40:11,201
Speaker 3: It was like, no, girlfriend, doesn't feel good? And then yeah,

922
00:40:11,201 --> 00:40:12,881
Speaker 3: I was kind of the same. I started just going, yh,

923
00:40:12,881 --> 00:40:13,801
Speaker 3: that doesn't feel good anymore.

924
00:40:13,881 --> 00:40:16,601
Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't feel good anymore? Yes, so freaking cool.

925
00:40:17,161 --> 00:40:19,161
Speaker 1: And do you want to talk about something else you do?

926
00:40:19,401 --> 00:40:22,761
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, i'mind dabbling into my coaching a little bit,

927
00:40:22,761 --> 00:40:25,801
Speaker 3: which is nice. So only taking on you know, very

928
00:40:25,841 --> 00:40:29,081
Speaker 3: small amounts of clients because obviously I don't want to

929
00:40:29,121 --> 00:40:33,521
Speaker 3: overdo that capacity. And then also just doing little online

930
00:40:33,561 --> 00:40:35,721
Speaker 3: workbooks and I eventually do courses as well.

931
00:40:35,921 --> 00:40:39,401
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so cool. So people can book in sessions

932
00:40:39,401 --> 00:40:42,121
Speaker 1: with you now, they sure can. That's so exciting.

933
00:40:42,161 --> 00:40:43,561
Speaker 3: Yeah, it feels good. And this is what I was

934
00:40:43,561 --> 00:40:45,361
Speaker 3: saying to Ashley when I was like doing it all.

935
00:40:45,401 --> 00:40:47,441
Speaker 3: I said, I'm just moving in a way now, like

936
00:40:47,481 --> 00:40:50,601
Speaker 3: whatever feels aligned, just lean into and right now, I

937
00:40:50,681 --> 00:40:53,001
Speaker 3: really do, like I love everything we do over here

938
00:40:53,001 --> 00:40:55,161
Speaker 3: with Growing Glow. I'm doing another course at the moment,

939
00:40:55,801 --> 00:40:58,481
Speaker 3: and yeah, just I love learning, I love healing, I

940
00:40:58,521 --> 00:41:02,401
Speaker 3: love helping other people, and it's amazing that we even

941
00:41:02,441 --> 00:41:03,121
Speaker 3: just get to be here.

942
00:41:06,841 --> 00:41:08,201
Speaker 1: All right, there's one more question.

943
00:41:08,321 --> 00:41:11,841
Speaker 3: Okay, what are both of your goals for Grow and Glow? Now?

944
00:41:12,121 --> 00:41:14,121
Speaker 3: I remember there were hints about a new product in

945
00:41:14,161 --> 00:41:14,641
Speaker 3: the works.

946
00:41:14,681 --> 00:41:17,881
Speaker 1: Any update? Who we have three new things coming out?

947
00:41:17,961 --> 00:41:23,441
Speaker 1: Oh we do, but one is soon. Yeah. Yeah, this

948
00:41:23,481 --> 00:41:26,481
Speaker 1: one's really cool because we've never seen anyone else do it. Like,

949
00:41:26,521 --> 00:41:29,001
Speaker 1: even when we looked online, we could not find something

950
00:41:29,161 --> 00:41:31,681
Speaker 1: like this. I reckon this one probably took us the

951
00:41:31,721 --> 00:41:34,361
Speaker 1: longest to create. She did I'm really excited to do

952
00:41:34,401 --> 00:41:36,721
Speaker 1: it myself. I know me too. Yeah, we won't give

953
00:41:36,721 --> 00:41:38,401
Speaker 1: any hints away. I fore, let me do some fun

954
00:41:38,401 --> 00:41:41,201
Speaker 1: cool clues we do, but this one's really cool, and

955
00:41:41,201 --> 00:41:44,201
Speaker 1: then we've got two more after that. There's definitely lots

956
00:41:44,241 --> 00:41:46,401
Speaker 1: out there, but this is our own style and twist

957
00:41:46,401 --> 00:41:48,201
Speaker 1: on it. Yeah, and it's going to be really beautiful

958
00:41:48,241 --> 00:41:51,161
Speaker 1: as well. So yeah, three more coming out. We want

959
00:41:51,161 --> 00:41:53,801
Speaker 1: to do a live event, yes, which would be really cool.

960
00:41:53,801 --> 00:41:56,641
Speaker 1: There's no dates or anything, but our podcast producers want

961
00:41:56,641 --> 00:41:58,601
Speaker 1: to help us organize that live podcast event.

962
00:41:58,601 --> 00:42:01,641
Speaker 3: That'd be so hard even meet with you guys in

963
00:42:01,681 --> 00:42:03,001
Speaker 3: the flesh and.

964
00:42:03,201 --> 00:42:04,921
Speaker 1: Talk about I didn't even know what we talk about.

965
00:42:05,081 --> 00:42:06,361
Speaker 1: I don't know either. I think we'd do like a

966
00:42:06,441 --> 00:42:07,681
Speaker 1: Q and A at the end, but probably have a

967
00:42:07,721 --> 00:42:10,801
Speaker 1: couple of different topics. Yeah, definitely, and that'd be so fun.

968
00:42:10,841 --> 00:42:14,081
Speaker 1: Maybe collaborate with another podcast as well. But we'd love

969
00:42:14,121 --> 00:42:17,521
Speaker 1: to meet you guys. And live events are so fun,

970
00:42:17,561 --> 00:42:19,681
Speaker 1: like I love them. They make me so nervous in

971
00:42:19,681 --> 00:42:20,121
Speaker 1: a good way.

972
00:42:20,241 --> 00:42:22,041
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I'm going to feel a lot better

973
00:42:22,041 --> 00:42:25,041
Speaker 3: because I'll have you with me. Yes, yeah, yea that

974
00:42:25,041 --> 00:42:29,321
Speaker 3: we need these couches wherever we go. I feel like, yes, honestly,

975
00:42:29,441 --> 00:42:32,921
Speaker 3: can we Yes, And I feel like I'm just in

976
00:42:32,921 --> 00:42:33,441
Speaker 3: the studio.

977
00:42:33,921 --> 00:42:35,681
Speaker 1: Yeah, it would be so fun. I've been to a

978
00:42:35,681 --> 00:42:37,761
Speaker 1: couple of live podcast events just like watching other people

979
00:42:37,801 --> 00:42:40,161
Speaker 1: and it's just such a vibe it is, it's really cool.

980
00:42:40,201 --> 00:42:42,121
Speaker 1: So we'd love to do that. And then our guests

981
00:42:42,121 --> 00:42:43,801
Speaker 1: today that we interviewed, just like if you guys ever

982
00:42:43,801 --> 00:42:47,121
Speaker 1: thought about doing a retreat? Yeah, no, but that could

983
00:42:47,161 --> 00:42:47,561
Speaker 1: be cool.

984
00:42:47,841 --> 00:42:49,721
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean there's been so many things that we've

985
00:42:49,761 --> 00:42:52,121
Speaker 3: spoken about. There's so many things, and you know, the

986
00:42:52,121 --> 00:42:54,241
Speaker 3: cool thing about this project is we always say like

987
00:42:54,681 --> 00:42:55,121
Speaker 3: there's no.

988
00:42:55,201 --> 00:42:57,161
Speaker 1: Pressure, it's all pleasure to organize.

989
00:42:57,201 --> 00:42:58,921
Speaker 3: Like even this thing that's finally about to come here,

990
00:42:58,921 --> 00:43:01,321
Speaker 3: we started organizing this ages ago and it's about to

991
00:43:01,401 --> 00:43:03,361
Speaker 3: land in our lap. But it's because it's all you know,

992
00:43:03,601 --> 00:43:06,921
Speaker 3: go at our own pace, the flow, and it's just

993
00:43:06,961 --> 00:43:09,801
Speaker 3: so well aligned. So any opportunities just seem to pop

994
00:43:09,881 --> 00:43:11,881
Speaker 3: up with which is really cool.

995
00:43:11,761 --> 00:43:14,961
Speaker 1: Really naturally like, And that's the question I asked myself,

996
00:43:15,081 --> 00:43:17,921
Speaker 1: was like, is this coming from pressure or pleasure? And

997
00:43:18,001 --> 00:43:19,481
Speaker 1: like based on was a lot of pressure and this

998
00:43:19,601 --> 00:43:21,961
Speaker 1: is just so much pleasure. Yeah, it's so easy and

999
00:43:22,001 --> 00:43:24,361
Speaker 1: flowing and organic, and there's no pressure on both of us.

1000
00:43:24,441 --> 00:43:26,681
Speaker 1: We both live in our lives, but just slots in

1001
00:43:26,721 --> 00:43:29,881
Speaker 1: and flows so nicely. So we're open to so many things.

1002
00:43:29,921 --> 00:43:31,921
Speaker 1: But yeah, what would you guys like to see? Yeah,

1003
00:43:31,961 --> 00:43:35,841
Speaker 1: that's a better question. No, I think you guys are

1004
00:43:35,841 --> 00:43:37,041
Speaker 1: really going to love this next one.

1005
00:43:37,161 --> 00:43:39,521
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, this is like my favorite.

1006
00:43:39,601 --> 00:43:41,440
Speaker 1: But then the other one, if they're a mum, they're

1007
00:43:41,481 --> 00:43:42,921
Speaker 1: really going to love that one. Yeah.

1008
00:43:43,041 --> 00:43:45,041
Speaker 3: I just think because I haven't seen it, I know,

1009
00:43:45,121 --> 00:43:48,121
Speaker 3: and I think it's really could help so many people.

1010
00:43:48,401 --> 00:43:50,881
Speaker 1: It will, it will, it will, and it'll be moments

1011
00:43:50,881 --> 00:43:52,721
Speaker 1: of like being uncomfortable with it too.

1012
00:43:52,761 --> 00:43:57,121
Speaker 3: Yeah, it wouldn't be like us to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

1013
00:43:57,441 --> 00:43:58,201
Speaker 3: So true.

1014
00:43:58,761 --> 00:44:02,361
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. Oh I hope that answered everyone's questions.

1015
00:44:02,481 --> 00:44:03,921
Speaker 1: We're in the foam. If you guys ever want to

1016
00:44:03,961 --> 00:44:06,161
Speaker 1: ask anything else but other one guys wish we liked

1017
00:44:06,161 --> 00:44:09,601
Speaker 1: for surgery, Good luck day. Yeah, I'm going in today's Monday,

1018
00:44:09,721 --> 00:44:12,361
Speaker 1: so going in on Wednesday and then an operation on Thursday.

1019
00:44:12,481 --> 00:44:15,921
Speaker 1: So yes, I'll keep you guys up to date and

1020
00:44:15,961 --> 00:44:18,681
Speaker 1: I'm sure everything will be fine. Yeah, everyone goes and

1021
00:44:18,881 --> 00:44:22,281
Speaker 1: actually some good vibes. Thanks. Guys, have some good energy.

1022
00:44:22,481 --> 00:44:26,681
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, appreciate it. Alrighty, We'll back in your eas

1023
00:44:26,721 --> 00:44:28,561
Speaker 1: on Wednesday anyway, see you then, Bye bye,