1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gaddigal Land Always was, always 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:09,240 Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. 3 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 2: Hey chicks, I'm out and and this is two broad Chicks, 4 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 2: the show that shares life lessons and tips to make 5 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 2: you rich. In Live Today, we are joined by the 6 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:23,760 Speaker 2: beautiful jar Da Briichi. 7 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:25,439 Speaker 3: Hello, thanks for having me go. 8 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 2: Thanks blowing by the way, Thank you. 9 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:32,280 Speaker 1: I need to show up and look better than the host, 10 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:33,680 Speaker 1: get it. 11 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:35,240 Speaker 3: So that's a common occurrence. 12 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:37,559 Speaker 2: I love the blazer, I love the boots, I love 13 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:41,599 Speaker 2: the jeans, everythings cheeks sligh. But today we are going 14 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 2: to chat all things about new beginnings, motherhood. I'm so 15 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:49,159 Speaker 2: excited because we were saying sow and I know you 16 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 2: probably know a bit more because your sister's just had 17 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 2: a baby. 18 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:52,519 Speaker 1: Shit all. 19 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 2: So like, I'm so excited to just like lose my 20 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,320 Speaker 2: mind in this episode. 21 00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 1: I can't wait. 22 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 2: But before we get into the episode, we like to 23 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 2: share a little life lesson of the week. 24 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 1: So, as our guest of honor, would you like to start? 25 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd love to. My Oh god, we're going to 26 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 3: get deep real quickly. My life lesson of the week 27 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:17,479 Speaker 3: is I'm kind of struggling with breastfeeding at the minute, 28 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:21,440 Speaker 3: which is a lot more emotional than you would anticipate. 29 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 3: And yeah, it takes a bit of a toll on 30 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 3: your confidence. So I'm trying to remind myself that some 31 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 3: things are just out of my control and I'm doing 32 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,000 Speaker 3: the best that I can and that's all that I 33 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:38,280 Speaker 3: ever can do. So that's probably my life lesson this 34 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:43,039 Speaker 3: week is be easy on yourself, you know, and just 35 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:44,880 Speaker 3: do your best and that's all you can do. And 36 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:45,440 Speaker 3: that's okay. 37 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's so easy for us to try to control 38 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:48,840 Speaker 4: the things that we simply can't. 39 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think that that experience especially is so 40 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:56,000 Speaker 2: much more common than people think, but nobody talks about 41 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,960 Speaker 2: it because there is a lot of shame surrounding it, 42 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:03,040 Speaker 2: which strangers. Yeah, is bizarre and so unnecessary. So also 43 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:04,920 Speaker 2: thank you for sharing that, because I think a lot 44 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:06,840 Speaker 2: of people will hear that and be like, oh. 45 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: My god, I had that experience. 46 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:11,240 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, Like if they go through that in future, 47 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,880 Speaker 2: you know, they'll remember that they're not the only one. 48 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, of course happy to. 49 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 1: Yeah what about you, Sally Beally? 50 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,600 Speaker 3: Okay, well can you change? 51 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,600 Speaker 2: No, Mine's like not anything crazy, but it's also not 52 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:24,800 Speaker 2: anything enlightning. 53 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:27,680 Speaker 1: Okay, it's your favorite type of lifeless. It's just fun. 54 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:32,440 Speaker 2: And it's called the unexpected red theory. Have you guys said, Yeah, no, 55 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:36,919 Speaker 2: I've heard of it. Yeah, so the Unexpected red theory. 56 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 2: It was coined by a Brooklyn based interior designer, Taylor 57 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 2: Migliazo Simon Hope I pronounced I think he's like that, yes, 58 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 2: So she describes it as the unexpected red theory is 59 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,880 Speaker 2: basically adding anything that's red, big or small to a 60 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 2: room where it doesn't match at all, and it automatically 61 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 2: looks better. 62 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:57,839 Speaker 3: I love that. 63 00:02:57,919 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, I reckon that works with also our fits exactly, 64 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 1: it does. 65 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:05,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, So I've seen a bunch of people jumping on 66 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 2: this trend with their interiors and just buying a few 67 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,919 Speaker 2: little things like going to a vintage shop and maybe 68 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 2: buying like a red lamp or a cushion or a 69 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:17,920 Speaker 2: print or something, and it really does bring the whole 70 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:21,280 Speaker 2: room together and like draws your eye to that and 71 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 2: just instantly elevates the room. 72 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,679 Speaker 1: It gives a personality. Yeah, that's right. 73 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:27,560 Speaker 2: Whenever you have like a little poper red in an 74 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,560 Speaker 2: outfit's like bang my life lesson. 75 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,919 Speaker 1: Speaking of seeing red this. 76 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:35,600 Speaker 2: Week, I got scammed on Facebook marketplace? 77 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 3: Did you I did. That's awful. 78 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 1: I got scammed out of one hundred and twenty dollars. 79 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 3: And you paid before you got the product, Yeah, you didn't. 80 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:49,640 Speaker 1: I did. So here's the thing. I understand that there 81 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 1: were flags. They may have been read. She hurned my trust. 82 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 2: Guys, I haven't been betrayed like this since a very 83 00:03:58,400 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 2: long time. 84 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 1: Ok but anyway, it's giving, boomer, it's given. Okay, why yes, 85 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 1: two don't hurt my heeling. 86 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 2: But I really prided myself on being a Facebook marketplace, 87 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:17,800 Speaker 2: like God was like, yeah, First of all, they didn't 88 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 2: have a face on their profile picture. 89 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,159 Speaker 1: Oh okay, maybe that was red flag. 90 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:25,480 Speaker 2: Second of all, I wanted to pay with PayPal because 91 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 2: you can always ladgch things through PayPal, and they didn't 92 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 2: have PayPal, so I just senter it on PAYID. However, 93 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,239 Speaker 2: this person sent their phone number as their pay ID, 94 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:35,479 Speaker 2: so I was like, as if you would give me 95 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 2: your phone number if you were going to scare me, 96 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 2: Well she did. And then so I was buying a 97 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 2: PlayStation two with all the old games like SingStar and 98 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,160 Speaker 2: Eye Toy and Buzz and I was so ready and 99 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 2: it was a present for my partner for his birthday, 100 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 2: and I was going to surprise him with all the 101 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:55,000 Speaker 2: games that he liked. And I told her this, Yeah, 102 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:58,480 Speaker 2: just blinded by the promise. I was really excited about 103 00:04:58,520 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 2: seeing Star and Buzz. 104 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, just be really conscious of your Facebook marketplace if 105 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,719 Speaker 4: they want you to do a bank transfer or a 106 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,159 Speaker 4: paid run. 107 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:15,560 Speaker 1: For the hills. So you've obviously entered a. 108 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 2: New era of life, and I wanted to start with 109 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:21,400 Speaker 2: a question from our audience, which I thought was like 110 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 2: the perfect opening, But do you have any advice, manifestation, 111 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:30,000 Speaker 2: or words of wisdom to help those who are going 112 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,400 Speaker 2: through changes or entering new beginnings in their twenties or 113 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 2: any age. 114 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,320 Speaker 3: I would put myself in the category of being like 115 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:42,880 Speaker 3: a risk taker, and I think that I've almost always 116 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:46,800 Speaker 3: been glad for the risks that I've taken, and I 117 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 3: think that that is a great way to approach something new, 118 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:58,360 Speaker 3: because if you hold yourself back, you're not really experiencing 119 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 3: what you're trying to experience fully. And yeah, I think 120 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,360 Speaker 3: you know, it's it's a bit cliche. You know, they 121 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,800 Speaker 3: say you regret the things that you don't do over 122 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 3: the things that you have done. I think You've just 123 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,360 Speaker 3: got to fool immerse yourself, you know, yeah, take the 124 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:15,840 Speaker 3: risk and go for it. 125 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 1: How do you get over the fear? 126 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:17,720 Speaker 2: Though? 127 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 1: Do you ever have like that thing in your head 128 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 1: that you're like, yes, but what if? 129 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:26,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you've kind of I mean, I just try 130 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,120 Speaker 3: to drown it out really with other thoughts, Like it's 131 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:34,279 Speaker 3: about shifting your mindset really and allowing yourself to have 132 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 3: the control to do that. You know, you've it's really 133 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:41,040 Speaker 3: easy to go, oh no, that's too hard, that's scary. 134 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:45,000 Speaker 3: I think if you throw yourself into oh but what 135 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:49,679 Speaker 3: if you know? And what are the It's so funny. 136 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,279 Speaker 3: I was actually speaking about this with my husband yesterday 137 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:57,239 Speaker 3: on our podcast. I was saying, what is the best 138 00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:01,159 Speaker 3: possible outcome of this thing that you you are trying 139 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,320 Speaker 3: to do or could do, you know, versus the worst 140 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 3: possible outcome and living in the fear based you know, 141 00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:08,920 Speaker 3: so switch your mindset, think about the best possible outcome 142 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 3: and just focus on that. Because you know, most of 143 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 3: the experiences that you have in life that have taken 144 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 3: you to a place where you've had, you know, something 145 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 3: incredible happen. It's not because you've sat at home and 146 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 3: you know, done nothing in your bed all days because 147 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,240 Speaker 3: you've gone and you've done something new or taken a 148 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 3: risk or had an experience. It's different. So just remind 149 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 3: yourself of those moments when you're kind of going, oh 150 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 3: this is scary. 151 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. 152 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 4: It's like not thinking about the but what if it 153 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 4: doesn't work out? 154 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:38,800 Speaker 1: It's but what if it does? 155 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:42,400 Speaker 2: I love that, Yeah, because but what if usually has 156 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 2: a negative connotation, but it can have a positive one. Yeah. 157 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:46,400 Speaker 1: Yeah. 158 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 2: This was another really popular question that was sent in 159 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,920 Speaker 2: by the Chicks. But how did you know that you 160 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 2: wanted to or were ready to have children? 161 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:58,680 Speaker 3: That's such a good question, and I can't say that 162 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:03,560 Speaker 3: there's any like real re is in. It just happened overnight. 163 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 3: I was really actually not ready to have kids, and 164 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,840 Speaker 3: I was adamant that I wanted to give myself time. 165 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 3: And then just one day I woke up and I 166 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:18,040 Speaker 3: was like, yeah, I feel ready. I you know, got 167 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 3: my ducks in a row. Yeah, I'm happy, I'm comfortable, 168 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 3: I'm safe. I think it is it's like safety. Really, 169 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:27,040 Speaker 3: you just feel really content and safe in your environment. 170 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 3: And I felt like, oh, I feel really good, you know, 171 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,720 Speaker 3: And I think it just happened naturally. Like that is 172 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 3: when you're you're not maybe running on adrenaline, you're not 173 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,960 Speaker 3: in FI or flight or something. You know, you're in 174 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,440 Speaker 3: a really calm, content place and then it just hits 175 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:50,560 Speaker 3: you and your body goes make babies. That's good. 176 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:54,720 Speaker 4: I think it's I think especially for women because of unfortunately, 177 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 4: you know, we are faced with this like clock and 178 00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:01,920 Speaker 4: this pressure that there is a certain that we're kind 179 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:02,400 Speaker 4: of put in. 180 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:04,480 Speaker 1: It's like a streamline being like gon quite quickly. 181 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,520 Speaker 2: That I think that is a really really nice thing 182 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:10,920 Speaker 2: for people look for to look to being like do 183 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 2: I feel safe? 184 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 3: Do I feel secure? 185 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,080 Speaker 4: Like do I feel like this is genuinely what I 186 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 4: want rather than having pressure put on us? 187 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:18,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, being like. 188 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,079 Speaker 2: Oh yeah you one, well look right out of time 189 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:24,200 Speaker 2: and it's like no, And I like that that was 190 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,160 Speaker 2: your experience. And I feel like that's going to help 191 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:28,839 Speaker 2: a lot of people in identifying whether or not that's 192 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:35,480 Speaker 2: a pathway they want to take. But since becoming a mother, yes, 193 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:40,400 Speaker 2: which like I just that's a slave, I'm. 194 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,480 Speaker 3: Still struggling to like identify as a mom. It's really weird. 195 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,360 Speaker 3: When's it going to kick in that I feel like mum. Yeah, 196 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 3: that time, I was going to. 197 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:50,319 Speaker 2: Ask, like, what's the process of keeping your self identity, 198 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:53,560 Speaker 2: because I think that's something that a lot of mum's, 199 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:58,040 Speaker 2: first time mum's, new moms or moms can experience a 200 00:09:58,040 --> 00:09:58,600 Speaker 2: lot of. 201 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:03,520 Speaker 3: It's a good question because at the moment, I don't know, 202 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,440 Speaker 3: it's almost like you can't like you've got to You've 203 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:12,440 Speaker 3: just really you're sacrificing a lot, right, But I think 204 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 3: for me, I don't feel like I'm not myself. Does 205 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,840 Speaker 3: that make sense? I'm still me and kind I saw 206 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:25,199 Speaker 3: a lot of kind of dialogue around you change entirely. 207 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 3: You're not the same version of You're not your same you, 208 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,439 Speaker 3: you know, And I don't necessarily relate to that. I'm 209 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 3: still very much me. I feel like me. However, I 210 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 3: don't have time to do me things, you know. I 211 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:42,280 Speaker 3: do occasionally a tiny bit here and there. It's a rarity. 212 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 3: But I actually posted on Instagram recently and what I 213 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,720 Speaker 3: put something I put in my caption was that there's 214 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,680 Speaker 3: not enough hours in the day to be a mum 215 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:55,080 Speaker 3: and also myself. And that's kind of how it feels. 216 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 3: It's like I don't have time to take care of 217 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:01,480 Speaker 3: my child and then do me stuff. So it's not 218 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 3: that I've compromised who I am, but I can't get 219 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,840 Speaker 3: around to being her. Does that make sense? 220 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 1: How does that like? How do you navigate that in 221 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:11,360 Speaker 1: terms of how it. 222 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:20,680 Speaker 3: Feels, I personally am. I'm really grateful for Fletcher coming 223 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,920 Speaker 3: into our lives, as I'm sure most parents are with 224 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:28,040 Speaker 3: their bubbs. So I'm okay with it, like I'm at 225 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,640 Speaker 3: peace with it. And I also fully recognize that my 226 00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:34,000 Speaker 3: life would change after I had a baby, so I 227 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:37,200 Speaker 3: kind of acknowledged that before it all happened. So I'm 228 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:40,600 Speaker 3: probably like, I'm okay with it, you know, like I 229 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 3: know my time will come back around again. Yeah, it's 230 00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:46,880 Speaker 3: not forever. It's like this is important now, is taking 231 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,160 Speaker 3: care of our child and making sure that he's our 232 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:52,760 Speaker 3: priority and in putting all our energy into him. And 233 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,120 Speaker 3: you know, my time will come later. And I've had 234 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,560 Speaker 3: twenty nine years of me time, and I've lived very selfishly, 235 00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:01,680 Speaker 3: you know, in a good way I should. Yeah. Yeah, 236 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 3: So it's just understanding that that's just the natural way 237 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,000 Speaker 3: of things when you do have a baby. And yeah, 238 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 3: it is hard in moments, mainly because you just the 239 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:15,839 Speaker 3: downtime's not there. You know, when you have downtime, you've 240 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:19,079 Speaker 3: got to get things done. So the just the relaxing 241 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:23,359 Speaker 3: and kind of my husband's amazing. He's been putting Fletcher 242 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,600 Speaker 3: in like a rap on him and he you know, 243 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,760 Speaker 3: has him for a few hours in the evening and 244 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:31,000 Speaker 3: I'll have a bath and that's my time and that's 245 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 3: really really nice. So, yeah, you find your pockets of 246 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,760 Speaker 3: time and you make it work. But also just fully 247 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,720 Speaker 3: accepting that, yeah, life's not going to be the same 248 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,160 Speaker 3: and I'm not expecting it to be the same, and 249 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,199 Speaker 3: that's okay, and I'll come back to my stuff a 250 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 3: little bit later on. Yeah, And from like my experience 251 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:49,440 Speaker 3: just witnessing people in my life who've recently had their 252 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:53,120 Speaker 3: first baby, I feel like it sort of comes and 253 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 3: goes in ways. 254 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:57,320 Speaker 2: Yes, like sometimes they can deal with that compromise, with 255 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:00,880 Speaker 2: that silver lining outlook and be like, well, this compromise 256 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,439 Speaker 2: because now I have this beautiful addition to my family 257 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:07,560 Speaker 2: and it's absolutely worth it. And then other days they're like, god, 258 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:10,160 Speaker 2: I just want to like go shopping with. 259 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,680 Speaker 3: My friends and just do whatever I want. 260 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think also knowing that that will sort 261 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,439 Speaker 2: of ebb and flow and trying not to feel too 262 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:20,480 Speaker 2: guilty when you do have those more negative thoughts as 263 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:21,920 Speaker 2: well would be really important too. 264 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,599 Speaker 3: I can imagine that's so normal, Like you're so you 265 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 3: used to living one way and then literally overnight your 266 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:30,560 Speaker 3: whole life changes. So, yeah, it's difficult for everyone. I'd 267 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,640 Speaker 3: be surprised if anyone said, no, I'm fine. I haven't 268 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:39,080 Speaker 3: had any days where I've struggled. You know, that's na. 269 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:44,360 Speaker 3: That is simply not how it goes. Yeah. So there 270 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,720 Speaker 3: are days, of course where it's more overwhelming and you 271 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:51,240 Speaker 3: need that rest a bit more and you can't get it. Yeah, 272 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,640 Speaker 3: and you just kind of you do the best that 273 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:55,840 Speaker 3: you can and you try to tap in your partner 274 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,720 Speaker 3: and you tap out if you really need a break. 275 00:13:57,760 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 3: And that's you know, that's what they're there. 276 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:04,960 Speaker 1: It's incredible. Oh yeah, I'm you're the bath. Yeah, that 277 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:05,840 Speaker 1: just made me think. 278 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,959 Speaker 4: So when you were saying overnight the video you posted 279 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:11,560 Speaker 4: before you'd had Fletcher, and you're like, well, I know 280 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,640 Speaker 4: if I'm in labor, and then you stitched it and 281 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:15,120 Speaker 4: you went. 282 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,360 Speaker 3: I knew I know. 283 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:20,000 Speaker 1: It was there. 284 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:24,760 Speaker 3: I genuinely thought I wouldn't recognize flavor I don't know. 285 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,600 Speaker 3: It was like, what if it's just so gradual that 286 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:29,000 Speaker 3: I don't know and then all of a sudden the 287 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:29,760 Speaker 3: baby comes. 288 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:32,280 Speaker 2: We also wanted to talk to you about a really, 289 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:35,840 Speaker 2: really incredible post and words of wisdom. 290 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,760 Speaker 1: You made about the bounce back trend. 291 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:42,240 Speaker 4: So this post received over sixty seven thousand likes just 292 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 4: to read your stats at you, but a. 293 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:51,480 Speaker 2: Lot of people, yeah, right, And I think that's what 294 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:58,120 Speaker 2: speaks volumes about how much pressure there is on people 295 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:01,840 Speaker 2: that have babies to bounce back, and how this trend 296 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:06,480 Speaker 2: is just put bluntly, like a bit facked. But if 297 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,960 Speaker 2: you don't mind me reading your words back to you as. 298 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:09,760 Speaker 1: Well as your stats. 299 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 2: So, almost eight weeks postpartum and no bounce back insight. 300 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:21,720 Speaker 2: Motherhood is messy and unpredictable and hard. It's also empowering 301 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:25,080 Speaker 2: and confidence building and beautiful. My body grew a body, 302 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,840 Speaker 2: and for that it's forever changed, a reminder of the 303 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:30,520 Speaker 2: miracle I created. I don't want to be the exact 304 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:33,720 Speaker 2: same person I was before I had Fletcher. I'm incredibly 305 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 2: proud of who I am and whatever accomplished. I birthed 306 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 2: a whole human and am nourishing him my appearance is 307 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:43,640 Speaker 2: ever changing, and I'm grateful for that. If it was stagnant, 308 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 2: it would mean I wouldn't have had the privilege of 309 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:50,360 Speaker 2: experiencing something so profound. Fletcher has very quickly become the 310 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 2: greatest part of my life, and my new body is 311 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,000 Speaker 2: a symbol of how lucky I am to have him. 312 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,240 Speaker 2: If you're on a similar path, please be kind to yourself, 313 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:01,280 Speaker 2: eat the Yemmy foods, and buy some new clothes. You 314 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:06,120 Speaker 2: absolutely deserve it. I know reading this like back to 315 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:08,040 Speaker 2: you would probably sound a bit weird. 316 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:14,440 Speaker 3: No, it actually sounds nice coming from you. 317 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 1: That's not true. But I really really wanted to read. 318 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:22,600 Speaker 2: This out because I think you put this You're gonna 319 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 2: make me come. In the last episode, I was like, 320 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,760 Speaker 2: I'm two days away from a period, touching God. 321 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 3: It feels like that all the time when you post smart. 322 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:39,760 Speaker 2: But I really wanted to read it out because I think, unfortunately, 323 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:44,200 Speaker 2: this is not the norm, this is not what women 324 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:49,040 Speaker 2: here enough, and I wanted you to really have a 325 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:52,840 Speaker 2: moment to share that because you have so much good 326 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,520 Speaker 2: advice on women and how you know they should be 327 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:58,080 Speaker 2: celebrated and how What I really really loved about this 328 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 2: is how you didn't want to go to who you 329 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:03,040 Speaker 2: were before because your life has changed, and you like 330 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:03,960 Speaker 2: how it's changed. 331 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean it's like what I 332 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:13,160 Speaker 3: was saying before, everything's so different. And you know, I've 333 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:16,000 Speaker 3: seen and heard people talk about like, oh, your life 334 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:22,400 Speaker 3: doesn't have to change, and it's like I respect that perspective. However, 335 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,439 Speaker 3: it really does entirely change. And I'm sure you know 336 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:31,159 Speaker 3: with your sister, you've probably seen everything changes. Everything's different, 337 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,560 Speaker 3: But you want that, right, Like, you're not having a 338 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:36,840 Speaker 3: baby to have the exact same life that you had before, 339 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:40,000 Speaker 3: have the exact same experiences, the exact same emotions. That's 340 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,679 Speaker 3: not what it's for. You want the change, so you know, 341 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:46,120 Speaker 3: don't be afraid of it and fully embrace it. And 342 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:50,280 Speaker 3: I I've spoken about body image on social media pretty 343 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:56,399 Speaker 3: much my whole life because I just really love empowering 344 00:17:56,440 --> 00:18:00,600 Speaker 3: women in any way that I can, and so I've 345 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,760 Speaker 3: tried my best to share things that I think will 346 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,280 Speaker 3: resonate with people and kind of help them lift them 347 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:08,720 Speaker 3: up a little bit. And myself, you know, sometimes I'm 348 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:12,000 Speaker 3: talking to myself literally just then. Yeah, sometimes it's a 349 00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 3: reminder to me because sometimes I forget as well. But yeah, 350 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:19,160 Speaker 3: my whole body changed. I grew a child, Like, how 351 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,320 Speaker 3: could I possibly expect it to look how it did prior? 352 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:26,800 Speaker 3: It's just it's simply not possible. When change occurs, you know, 353 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:30,720 Speaker 3: things are not the same. Yeah, the meaning of the words. 354 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:34,880 Speaker 3: So yeah, I love that my body did that. That's 355 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:38,080 Speaker 3: so cool. Not everyone gets to experience that, and some 356 00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:40,959 Speaker 3: people really want to and they can't. And for those people, 357 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:45,119 Speaker 3: that's really heartbreaking, and I feel for them wholeheartedly. I 358 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:48,840 Speaker 3: can't imagine how hard that would be. So I feel 359 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:52,040 Speaker 3: really blessed and really lucky and grateful that I was 360 00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:55,399 Speaker 3: able to do that, and to look at my body 361 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:59,040 Speaker 3: in any way other than thank you, it just is 362 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:02,480 Speaker 3: heartbreaking because how cool is that? And now not only 363 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,879 Speaker 3: am I have I grown this child, but I'm also 364 00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:09,720 Speaker 3: nurturing it and he's growing off me and off what 365 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,919 Speaker 3: I'm like doing and eating and drinking, And how freaking 366 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,520 Speaker 3: cool is that? Like, yeah, my tits have dropped a bit, that's. 367 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:21,199 Speaker 2: Fine, for the sacrifice is well worth it. 368 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,480 Speaker 4: Look at what's also happening because of that, Like look 369 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:28,439 Speaker 4: at the you know, yeah, exactly what you're saying, Like 370 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,159 Speaker 4: you're watching your baby. 371 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:34,720 Speaker 3: It's a freaking miracle. Yeah. So we've got to stop 372 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:39,560 Speaker 3: thinking about our bodies as these visual things. They're functional, 373 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,760 Speaker 3: you know, they help us get from a to b. 374 00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:44,800 Speaker 3: Like I get to walk across the room, you know, 375 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 3: I get to move, I get to run, I get 376 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 3: to swim. Like how incredible is that? It's not just 377 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,600 Speaker 3: how I look in a mirror, you know? 378 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:53,240 Speaker 2: Yeah? 379 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:54,080 Speaker 1: I love that. 380 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, I really liked. 381 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 2: Probably the last thing our bodies were designed to do 382 00:19:58,520 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 2: is to look hot. 383 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,520 Speaker 1: Like, let's just get that rhetoric out. 384 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,719 Speaker 2: Do you have any advice to anyone, though, who is 385 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,040 Speaker 2: feeling quite stuck on that and feeling a lot of 386 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:13,080 Speaker 2: pressure to bounce back, whether they're a new mum or 387 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:16,480 Speaker 2: yeah in general, or anybody who's experienced changed with their body. 388 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess if you're struggling to think from the 389 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,359 Speaker 3: perspective of like this is a good thing, then you 390 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:25,320 Speaker 3: can you can try to shift your thinking to no 391 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:29,400 Speaker 3: one is spending longer than half a second looking at 392 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 3: me and caring about the way that I look more 393 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,520 Speaker 3: than I am, you know, more than we all care 394 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,119 Speaker 3: about ourselves and our appearances. You're not walking in a 395 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,440 Speaker 3: room and looking at everyone and analyzing them for an hour? 396 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:41,600 Speaker 3: Are you You take a glance, you probably don't even 397 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,600 Speaker 3: spare a thought to it, and then you move on. 398 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,359 Speaker 3: That's it. You know, we're all too caught up in 399 00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 3: our own lives. I think everyone's a bit narcissistic. 400 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:55,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like the society that's been built has built 401 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:59,280 Speaker 2: us to be so narcissistic because that's like the pressure 402 00:20:59,280 --> 00:20:59,840 Speaker 2: that's put on us. 403 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,760 Speaker 3: We're like, yeah, so you know, you're in your own 404 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,400 Speaker 3: little bubble worrying about how you look. So is everyone else? 405 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, no one else cares as much as you. 406 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:10,600 Speaker 4: Exactly, I think as saying like, no one else cares 407 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,720 Speaker 4: as much as you do. I think with being a mother, 408 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:17,720 Speaker 4: sometimes there are people that maybe care a bit too 409 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 4: much and being especially someone who receives a lot of 410 00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:24,080 Speaker 4: public opinions. 411 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,280 Speaker 1: But I think this is relatable. 412 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:29,560 Speaker 4: Like I think all mothers have probably had someone share 413 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,240 Speaker 4: an opinion or tell them what to do that was 414 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:37,040 Speaker 4: completely unsolicited advice. How do you deal with other people's 415 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:38,919 Speaker 4: opinions on how to parent your child? 416 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,520 Speaker 3: It's hard on when it's coming from like people you know, 417 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:48,160 Speaker 3: or like family, or that's harder actually than just random people, 418 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,280 Speaker 3: because random people you can dismiss, yeah, like, oh, thank you, 419 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 3: I'll change the whole nursery now. Really, there are comments 420 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,880 Speaker 3: that can be helpful, like the past. You know, it's 421 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 3: supposed to be like this, you know, and people who 422 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:05,240 Speaker 3: say it politely great, But yeah, I think it's harder 423 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:08,760 Speaker 3: when it's coming from someone you love and who's opinion 424 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:13,280 Speaker 3: you normally would respect and take on board, and you 425 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,320 Speaker 3: have your own way of doing things. Maybe you know, 426 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,840 Speaker 3: that's really hard, and I think you've just got to 427 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 3: remind yourself that, like everyone's often the people who are 428 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,760 Speaker 3: saying this stuff has have had their own journeys and 429 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,719 Speaker 3: their own experiences with that sort of stuff, and so 430 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,280 Speaker 3: they think that they're coming from a good place. So 431 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,879 Speaker 3: you've just got to be open minded to that and think, Okay, like, 432 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:35,879 Speaker 3: I know you think that you're trying to help, and 433 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,359 Speaker 3: I appreciate that, but I'll just kind of nod on 434 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:39,879 Speaker 3: my head and say okay and keep doing what I 435 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:40,440 Speaker 3: feels best. 436 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:44,639 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you know, the path of least resistance, I guess, yeah, 437 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,479 Speaker 4: because that's going to end up like if you're going 438 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:48,680 Speaker 4: to get stuck on those things kind of up with everything, 439 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,359 Speaker 4: like it will ruin your day. 440 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,359 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you let stuff like that. I know it 441 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:55,640 Speaker 1: would be like I can't relate to it at all. 442 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,919 Speaker 4: Obviously I have a cat if anyone told me how 443 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,120 Speaker 4: to do that, so I'm mad and be. 444 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,840 Speaker 2: Like notice on wet food dipe. But I can imagine 445 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,200 Speaker 2: it would be really, really difficult because as well as 446 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,960 Speaker 2: especially a new mother, you're like, I'm I'm doing my best. 447 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,520 Speaker 1: I'm doing what I'm trying to do. 448 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,480 Speaker 4: But I think that's a really good point on and 449 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,840 Speaker 4: I think that comes with a lot of advice or 450 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,080 Speaker 4: opinions that you do get from people that you love 451 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 4: and that love you back. 452 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 1: Is that it is always an attempt within your best teacher. 453 00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:29,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I would like to say, majority of the time, 454 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:30,560 Speaker 2: it's coming from a good place. 455 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:31,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. 456 00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:34,159 Speaker 2: Yeah, I can just smile and nod and also remind 457 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:38,480 Speaker 2: yourself that every person is different, so therefore every mother 458 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,360 Speaker 2: is different, every baby is different too, so not every 459 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,680 Speaker 2: piece of advice that you get from your mom or 460 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,240 Speaker 2: your auntie or whoever is even going. 461 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,959 Speaker 1: To apply to your baby. Yeah, so you yeah, can 462 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,679 Speaker 1: also just politely smile and nod. Sounds like one of 463 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:58,960 Speaker 1: your biggest fet faves is like unsolicited advice and opinions. Yeah, anyway, anyway, 464 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:05,159 Speaker 1: let's talk about because obviously as a new mum you 465 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,400 Speaker 1: buy a lot of new. 466 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,119 Speaker 2: Stuff and probably things that you didn't even know existed before. 467 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,080 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and I've never thought of purchasing. So what's 468 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,200 Speaker 2: the most expensive thing since having a baby? 469 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,879 Speaker 3: All of it? I'm sorry, No, there's so many you 470 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,600 Speaker 3: don't not like, you just don't know how bloody expensive 471 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:31,960 Speaker 3: having a baby is. It would probably be the crib 472 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,399 Speaker 3: or the chair, the recliner. 473 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:39,240 Speaker 4: Oh, but that's something you want to make sure. Is 474 00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:40,080 Speaker 4: that good and comfort? 475 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:42,560 Speaker 3: I need to say if you are a mum to 476 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:45,000 Speaker 3: be and you're like trussing up, Oh, should I spend 477 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,760 Speaker 3: a bit more on this chair or get these other 478 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,920 Speaker 3: two things that I really want? Get the bloody chair. 479 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,639 Speaker 3: You are going if you're breastfeeding, you will live in 480 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,800 Speaker 3: that chair. You will hate the chair by you know, 481 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,240 Speaker 3: after twelve weeks because you'll be in it so much. 482 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,640 Speaker 3: Make sure it's really comfy and you love it because 483 00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:02,520 Speaker 3: you're going to spend so much time in it. And 484 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 3: I would recommend a recliner as well, because you want 485 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,160 Speaker 3: to put your feet up and lie back a little 486 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,480 Speaker 3: bit sometimes to be sitting in that thing you are in. 487 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,919 Speaker 3: You're glued to that thing, so make sure it's a 488 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:13,359 Speaker 3: good one. 489 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:14,400 Speaker 1: That's great advice. 490 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:17,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, are there any maternity brands that you discovered and 491 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:18,040 Speaker 4: fell in love with? 492 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:23,639 Speaker 3: Honestly, I didn't wear much maternity wear. I had in 493 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 3: bits and pieces. There there were a couple of maternity 494 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:29,080 Speaker 3: brands I actually wore in love. If you go on 495 00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:31,080 Speaker 3: my pages, you'll go and see them. I think I 496 00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,320 Speaker 3: did a haul on TikTok. I'm just totally blanking on 497 00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 3: the name. Their clothes were really good, but I mainly 498 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:40,320 Speaker 3: just found clothes that I I that were stretchy, or 499 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:44,520 Speaker 3: jeans that I just bought a really large pair of jeans, 500 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:49,320 Speaker 3: or because a lot of a lot of maternity. 501 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:53,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, but you don't feel I feel like you should 502 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:53,639 Speaker 2: still be able. 503 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:57,280 Speaker 1: To feel sexy and good and kind. And that's the 504 00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:58,159 Speaker 1: thing is I. 505 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:01,840 Speaker 4: Feel like, you know, the whole branding around maternity where 506 00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:05,000 Speaker 4: it can be a little bit not sexy, like it's 507 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:06,280 Speaker 4: like you're a mother now. 508 00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:08,760 Speaker 3: So what I did was I got large, Like I 509 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,080 Speaker 3: went to Unicorn and just bought some jeans that were 510 00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:14,960 Speaker 3: like beig and baggy and loose, and I lived in 511 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:21,080 Speaker 3: active waar, I really lived in active ware, and like 512 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,879 Speaker 3: lounge pants, Like we have a brand, and I have 513 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:25,600 Speaker 3: a pair of lounge pants for my brand that I 514 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:27,680 Speaker 3: just I just lived in those because they were very 515 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,320 Speaker 3: stretching and comfy. And then I just wore like T 516 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:34,400 Speaker 3: shirts or you know, like button ups or that sort 517 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,359 Speaker 3: of stuff that's just still comfy, you still feel a 518 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,840 Speaker 3: bit like you. And when I went out, yeah, I 519 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:42,080 Speaker 3: dressed up a bit. I wore really stretchy dresses or yeah, 520 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:45,160 Speaker 3: tried to find like cute like body suits that were 521 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:49,159 Speaker 3: like lacey and a bit sexy, still cute. Yeah, So 522 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,720 Speaker 3: I tried to have fun with my like pregnancy looks 523 00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:56,040 Speaker 3: because I enjoyed that. I liked dressing the bump. Yeah, 524 00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:58,000 Speaker 3: I didn't want to wear the jeans with the stretch 525 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:01,159 Speaker 3: bit that cut off at the mean half. What's that about? 526 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:03,800 Speaker 3: Why did they all cut off at a. 527 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:07,400 Speaker 2: Weird It's like it all looks the same, and you're like. 528 00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:11,040 Speaker 3: But we don't want to wear this like a gap 529 00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:11,679 Speaker 3: in the market. 530 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:16,560 Speaker 2: I reckon, But I also like that approach because then 531 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:21,120 Speaker 2: perhaps you can wear those pieces beyond exactly easy, yes, 532 00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:24,359 Speaker 2: which is more cost effective and sustainable as well. 533 00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:25,320 Speaker 3: Yeah. 534 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:25,760 Speaker 2: Love. 535 00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:28,960 Speaker 1: Okay, so I love the love story. 536 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:33,040 Speaker 2: So you've talked a little bit about your partner already, 537 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,960 Speaker 2: but you guys have a really cute love story. 538 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,440 Speaker 4: Can you give us a little run through of your 539 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:42,160 Speaker 4: love story? Yeah, and to know when to give something 540 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:43,040 Speaker 4: a second chance. 541 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,159 Speaker 3: Yeah. So for those of you who don't know, my 542 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,480 Speaker 3: partner and I dated, gosh, it was like ten years 543 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,240 Speaker 3: ago now, and then we broke up for a couple 544 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:55,040 Speaker 3: of years and then we got back together. The thing is, 545 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,560 Speaker 3: when we broke up, neither of us had any idea 546 00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:01,159 Speaker 3: that we find each other again. And I don't like, 547 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:03,440 Speaker 3: we just it wasn't It wasn't on the cards. It's 548 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,160 Speaker 3: not like we broke up and we're like, we will 549 00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:06,800 Speaker 3: find each other. It was like we broke up, we 550 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:08,760 Speaker 3: ended things kind of badly, and then I was like, 551 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:12,400 Speaker 3: I don't know, it just was really weird. We kind 552 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,960 Speaker 3: of by chance found ourselves in the same situation as 553 00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,840 Speaker 3: we did the first time, which was that he was 554 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:22,240 Speaker 3: recently single and it was too soon, and so we 555 00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:26,280 Speaker 3: kind of we dated more casually, and then it was 556 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:29,320 Speaker 3: turning into the exact same scenario, which was like it's 557 00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:32,560 Speaker 3: becoming relationship, but he's not quite ready, you know, which 558 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,600 Speaker 3: happened the first time. However, he committed to me and 559 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:36,400 Speaker 3: then there was just this kind of push and pull. 560 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:40,760 Speaker 3: It wasn't right. He obviously wasn't ready and he's just 561 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:42,680 Speaker 3: like a really good person, so I think he probably 562 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:50,680 Speaker 3: dated me out of guilt, so did want to. Obviously 563 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,280 Speaker 3: it wasn't the right time. He wasn't ready to commit 564 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:54,880 Speaker 3: to someone new. You had just gotten out of a 565 00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:59,520 Speaker 3: relationship long term. So that started happening again, and he 566 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,240 Speaker 3: kind of he invited me over one night. I thought 567 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:03,920 Speaker 3: he was gonna ask me his girlfriend, and he was like, 568 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:05,680 Speaker 3: we should stop seeing each other. And I was like, 569 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:06,760 Speaker 3: why are you. 570 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:08,600 Speaker 2: Blonde? 571 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 3: I brought night bag and I was like why and 572 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:15,360 Speaker 3: he was like, well, I have feelings for you, but 573 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:17,760 Speaker 3: I'm not ready for anything yet and I don't want 574 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:19,920 Speaker 3: to ruin it. And I was like, okay, this is 575 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:25,520 Speaker 3: so man of you. And so we stopped seeing each other, 576 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,520 Speaker 3: but we didn't really. Let's be honest, we never do 577 00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:33,480 Speaker 3: it because we said no, and we kept seeing each other. 578 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,520 Speaker 3: So we were both emotionally invested and it was just 579 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,560 Speaker 3: becoming this situation that was exactly what we were trying 580 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:45,840 Speaker 3: to avoid. However, he just there was no physical It's 581 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:47,600 Speaker 3: like I'd come over and cuddle and that was it. 582 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,080 Speaker 3: He refused to kiss me. He was like, no, I've 583 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:51,880 Speaker 3: said I'm not going to do this, so I'm just 584 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,400 Speaker 3: not going to. But we can spend time together. So 585 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,360 Speaker 3: it was this weird emotional relationship without the physical. He 586 00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,520 Speaker 3: was trying to fight it, ye, which is like the 587 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:02,240 Speaker 3: opposite of how situationships usually are. 588 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:05,600 Speaker 1: And like he's literally falling in love and it's his 589 00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:06,280 Speaker 1: own doing. 590 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,600 Speaker 3: So we split up properly because we were like, this 591 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:13,200 Speaker 3: is so stupid. And then I think it was six 592 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,240 Speaker 3: weeks later or something we found ourselves back together and 593 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:18,600 Speaker 3: then where you kind of were exclusive, like the day 594 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,880 Speaker 3: that we saw each other again and Bob's your uncle 595 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:26,760 Speaker 3: and the rest is history. But the thing is, neither 596 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,360 Speaker 3: of us knew that we'd find each other again. So 597 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,880 Speaker 3: I think that when we did start dating again, I mean, 598 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 3: he was quite different in terms of like he matured 599 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:38,800 Speaker 3: quite a lot, and he was showing sight of himself 600 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,320 Speaker 3: to me that he I knew existed, but he didn't 601 00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:42,719 Speaker 3: show me in the first relationship. 602 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:45,240 Speaker 4: So something was definitely different between yes, like the first 603 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:46,880 Speaker 4: and the second, Yeah, and. 604 00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:49,800 Speaker 3: I think it's the same as what I kind of 605 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:53,840 Speaker 3: mentioned earlier, is that I mean I had been in 606 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:59,160 Speaker 3: relationships that were really intense, on both ends of the spectrum, 607 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:04,440 Speaker 3: really intense, like love, really intense hate, quite toxic, and 608 00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:07,760 Speaker 3: that's what I was used to, That's what I thought 609 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:09,320 Speaker 3: love was. It was like these. 610 00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:11,440 Speaker 1: Really. 611 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:18,479 Speaker 3: Yeah. However, with Lot, the love was really comfortable and safe, 612 00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:26,560 Speaker 3: feeling and predictable, and I in the beginning probably wondered 613 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:30,480 Speaker 3: whether or not it was the same passion and later 614 00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:33,400 Speaker 3: on realized, no, it is, but actually even more so, 615 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:37,520 Speaker 3: because this is love, this is true love. The other's 616 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:41,960 Speaker 3: probably a bit more lust, you know, and just like 617 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:45,680 Speaker 3: a really toxic attachment, you know, maybe codependency or something. 618 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:48,640 Speaker 3: Whereas with him, it was comfortable, it was safe, it 619 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:53,320 Speaker 3: was familiar, it was predictable, it was trustworthy and consistent, 620 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:57,600 Speaker 3: and that's how I knew that I wanted to be 621 00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,320 Speaker 3: with him and that he was the right person to 622 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:03,120 Speaker 3: kind of set down with. So yeah, I would say, 623 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:05,840 Speaker 3: look for instead of looking for the chaos, look for 624 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:08,600 Speaker 3: the calm. And in the beginning, if you're used to 625 00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,600 Speaker 3: the chaos, it's going to feel a bit funny. It's 626 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:14,280 Speaker 3: going to take some adjustment, but just know that that's 627 00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:15,960 Speaker 3: where you need to be, that's where you should be, 628 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:17,200 Speaker 3: and that's where you want to be for the rest 629 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:17,720 Speaker 3: of your life. 630 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:25,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's like I get it when like, yeah, yeah 631 00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,040 Speaker 2: you were her snappers. There is like an element when 632 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:31,560 Speaker 2: you are like younger and there's like the chaos and 633 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:36,520 Speaker 2: you're like and like the drama. Yeah, but like it 634 00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:40,600 Speaker 2: gets old because it hurts, like it's not fun. And 635 00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:43,040 Speaker 2: the reason I said consistent as well is because the 636 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:44,440 Speaker 2: up and down of. 637 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:45,960 Speaker 1: Being like, oh we love each other, we hate each other. 638 00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,760 Speaker 2: No, and now I'm having this crazy sex it's and 639 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:52,440 Speaker 2: it's like that is not sustainable. 640 00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,400 Speaker 3: It's exhausting. Yeah, it's hiring. 641 00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:56,880 Speaker 4: And I think I went through the exact same thing 642 00:32:56,960 --> 00:33:01,200 Speaker 4: of like you even on the verge of sabotage a 643 00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:05,200 Speaker 4: really good relationship when you're like, is this what it's like? 644 00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:07,480 Speaker 4: Shouldn't there be more like shouldn't it be like. 645 00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,880 Speaker 1: I didn't act? Yeah exactly, but. 646 00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:14,960 Speaker 4: I'm like I've learned and I think maybe it's similar. 647 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,440 Speaker 4: But it's like I know that this person loves me 648 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:22,040 Speaker 4: all the time exactly, not just at a spike in 649 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:22,760 Speaker 4: a spectrum. 650 00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:24,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, and then it's going to come back down. 651 00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:29,000 Speaker 4: Like I know that that love is consistent, it's not when. 652 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:29,960 Speaker 1: It suits them. 653 00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, and like that's I think the biggest thing, and 654 00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:34,720 Speaker 4: the other thing that I love that you said was 655 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,760 Speaker 4: that between the first time and the second time there 656 00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:38,960 Speaker 4: was a difference in who you both were as people. 657 00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:41,240 Speaker 4: That like, when you know, to give something a second 658 00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:45,080 Speaker 4: chance is because something has changed. If everything's the same, oh, 659 00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:47,800 Speaker 4: the relationship is never going to be different, Groundhog. 660 00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:50,600 Speaker 2: Know, you got to I think people try and you 661 00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:52,400 Speaker 2: want to lie to you do want to lie to yourself. 662 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:57,880 Speaker 2: But has your relationship changed since bringing Fletcher into the world. 663 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:03,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not that your relationship changes, is that you 664 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,240 Speaker 3: don't have time for your relationship. Honestly, I've heard that all. Yeah, 665 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:08,920 Speaker 3: you just don't right now. We just don't, Like we 666 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:12,200 Speaker 3: have tiny little pockets of time. If fledgers a sleep 667 00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:14,359 Speaker 3: and the stroller and it's been a good boy, but 668 00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:16,960 Speaker 3: like we he's not been a very good sleeper, so 669 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:18,440 Speaker 3: like he's not the kind of bub that goes down 670 00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:20,560 Speaker 3: in the bassinet during the day. He needs like he's 671 00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:22,920 Speaker 3: very he needs a lot of hands on attention. So 672 00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:26,239 Speaker 3: we're either he's in a carrier or we're walking with him. 673 00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:27,839 Speaker 3: And that's nice when we get to go for walks 674 00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:30,439 Speaker 3: together and go to breakfast or something, but we're both 675 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:33,040 Speaker 3: very big on physical touch, and we don't get a 676 00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:37,719 Speaker 3: lot of that anymore because one of us is likely 677 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,759 Speaker 3: handling baby, yeah, or doing something else that we need 678 00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:44,120 Speaker 3: to do, so we don't have time to like stop 679 00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:46,520 Speaker 3: and have a cuddle. And I used to like we 680 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,280 Speaker 3: I would go into the other room and he'd be working, 681 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:50,880 Speaker 3: and I'd go and sit on his lap for ten 682 00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:53,239 Speaker 3: minutes and we just have a cuddle. And then we'd 683 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,400 Speaker 3: cuddle at night, and then we'd cuddle in the morning, 684 00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:57,319 Speaker 3: and then you know, you just don't get that time 685 00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:01,799 Speaker 3: anymore really, So again, like I spoke about earlier, it's 686 00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,200 Speaker 3: about that kind of sacrifice in the beginning, and you've 687 00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:07,640 Speaker 3: just got to fully accept it and be okay with 688 00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:09,840 Speaker 3: it and know that it's normal and everyone's kind of 689 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:13,000 Speaker 3: going through this as well. Who's who've just had a baby. 690 00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:17,440 Speaker 3: So it's not that like our relationship has changed, apart 691 00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:19,280 Speaker 3: from the fact that you see them in a completely 692 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:21,799 Speaker 3: different line and you love them more really, and you 693 00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:24,680 Speaker 3: see how capable they are in that new role and 694 00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,799 Speaker 3: it makes you go, oh, yes, I've definitely made the 695 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:30,759 Speaker 3: right choice with who I've decided to have children with. 696 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:34,040 Speaker 3: And I'm so grateful that it's you. And yeah, just 697 00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:37,920 Speaker 3: incredibly grateful for everything he's done for me and continues 698 00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:42,080 Speaker 3: to do for me and Fletcher every day. Apart from 699 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:45,040 Speaker 3: the love intensifying, the relationship hasn't changed, just that you 700 00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:49,440 Speaker 3: don't have time to spend time together. Yeah, and that's hard. 701 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:52,399 Speaker 4: Potentially, is it like the love languages changed, like kind 702 00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:54,240 Speaker 4: of like how you're saying before that when you're tired, 703 00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,719 Speaker 4: like block, will that take flesh? Yeah, so you can 704 00:35:56,760 --> 00:36:00,600 Speaker 4: go and have a bu Yeah, yeah, maybe to find 705 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:02,600 Speaker 4: like the different love languages. 706 00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:05,200 Speaker 3: So you can still like, yeah, you know the loop. 707 00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, you can appreciate how that love is being shown, 708 00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:11,800 Speaker 2: even if it isn't how it would have been shown. 709 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely gone from more like physical touch towards of 710 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,319 Speaker 3: affirmation and acts of service. And yeah, for sure, So 711 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:24,640 Speaker 3: the love's there and you know, more than ever before, 712 00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:28,680 Speaker 3: and it's this incredible new thing that we're experiencing together. 713 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,279 Speaker 3: But yeah, I wish we could just have a day 714 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:33,480 Speaker 3: to sit together and talk about it and soak it up. 715 00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:36,280 Speaker 3: But you know what I mean, Yeah, yeah, those moments 716 00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,960 Speaker 3: to pause. Yeah yeah. 717 00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:42,600 Speaker 4: What's the number one thing that you didn't expect about 718 00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:45,279 Speaker 4: pregnancy and having a baby? 719 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:54,239 Speaker 3: I think I really grossly underestimated how time consuming breastfeeding is, 720 00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,080 Speaker 3: and that it cuts your life into these blocks of 721 00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:01,000 Speaker 3: like about two three are in the beginning of like 722 00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,359 Speaker 3: one hour, and you're supposed to feed for an hour, 723 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,720 Speaker 3: so you feed for an hour, and then baby's supposed 724 00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:09,160 Speaker 3: to sleep. But if baby doesn't sleep, baby's hungry again, 725 00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:11,480 Speaker 3: baby needs to feed for an hour. So it's like 726 00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:16,600 Speaker 3: just perpetual feeding really, and it's constant and you don't 727 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,360 Speaker 3: have relief from that in the beginning for a while. 728 00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:24,400 Speaker 3: And now I'm in a cycle of about three hours 729 00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:31,800 Speaker 3: where baby feeds for sometimes still forty five minutes, sometimes 730 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,080 Speaker 3: still an hour, although we're not really supposed to be 731 00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:36,480 Speaker 3: we're trying to figure it all out. And then I 732 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:41,399 Speaker 3: have kind of two hours left to Okay, now I've 733 00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:44,840 Speaker 3: got a pump, so I've got to go downstairs, sterilize everything, 734 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:48,360 Speaker 3: clean everything, put the pump together, you know, twenty minutes, 735 00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:53,000 Speaker 3: pump twenty minutes, go to the toilet, try to eat something, 736 00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:56,400 Speaker 3: try to put stuff away, try to get back to emails, 737 00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:59,759 Speaker 3: try to get back to friends, you know, go for 738 00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:03,440 Speaker 3: a walk. Walk you don't have time to do you 739 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,799 Speaker 3: have time to maybe do three of those sorry, not 740 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:08,520 Speaker 3: even one to two of those things, yes, and then 741 00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:10,880 Speaker 3: you're back in the chair. You're back feeding again in 742 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:16,200 Speaker 3: that chair. It's just it's really relentless, like I really 743 00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:20,160 Speaker 3: really grossly underestimated it, and it takes a toll. It's 744 00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:23,520 Speaker 3: very time consuming, and as beautiful as it is in 745 00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:26,480 Speaker 3: the beginning, it's really freaking hard. Like it's hard to 746 00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:28,759 Speaker 3: get it right. And even when you do, it's like 747 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:32,000 Speaker 3: are you eating enough? You know, and then you maybe 748 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,640 Speaker 3: discover that he's not, and then you've got to go 749 00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:36,840 Speaker 3: reconfigure everything, which is what I'm in the middle of 750 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:39,560 Speaker 3: right now. So I just got to a place where 751 00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:42,759 Speaker 3: I thought breastfeeding got really good, and then all of 752 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,480 Speaker 3: a sudden, it started taking a bit longer, he started 753 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:49,400 Speaker 3: getting really sleepy on the boob, and now I my 754 00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:53,640 Speaker 3: supplies dropped, so I'm now having to supplement with formula, 755 00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:56,600 Speaker 3: which means that my supply is dropping more, which means 756 00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:59,000 Speaker 3: that I'm now doing a million and one things every 757 00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:02,880 Speaker 3: day to try to reboost it. So I have to 758 00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:05,880 Speaker 3: eat all these different foods and have all these supplements, 759 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:08,520 Speaker 3: have this tea pump right after I feed, and then 760 00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:10,680 Speaker 3: pump twenty minutes after I feed, and then put him 761 00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:12,399 Speaker 3: back on the boob thirty minutes later. 762 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:18,520 Speaker 2: It's exactly the thing that I recently learned, not from 763 00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:22,440 Speaker 2: personal experience, but that once you think that you've gotten 764 00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:24,560 Speaker 2: all that right, then you have to figure out how 765 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:25,279 Speaker 2: to wean them off. 766 00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:29,200 Speaker 3: You've got to go away. 767 00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:33,160 Speaker 2: I'm not trying to like, you know, rain on the braid. 768 00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:35,719 Speaker 2: I'm just trying to say that again, like this is 769 00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:39,400 Speaker 2: so normal, and it is really hard. I think people 770 00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:41,640 Speaker 2: have this like visual of like the mom with the 771 00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:43,799 Speaker 2: baby no breastfeeding, and. 772 00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,200 Speaker 3: It's like la la lu, like that scene and lady 773 00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,280 Speaker 3: in the train, and people are like that and they're 774 00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:51,840 Speaker 3: just blessed. Good for them. Like, I'm really happy for 775 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:55,880 Speaker 3: those people because that would be incredible. But it's really 776 00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:57,440 Speaker 3: hard for a lot of us, and a lot of 777 00:39:57,480 --> 00:39:59,080 Speaker 3: people don't want to talk about it because, yeah, for 778 00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:03,120 Speaker 3: some reason, we make ourselves feel like we're doing something wrong. 779 00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:06,239 Speaker 3: I definitely did when I found out that Fletcher needed 780 00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:08,080 Speaker 3: to kind of have a bit of formula to supplement 781 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:11,640 Speaker 3: because he wasn't eating an often and I felt horrible. 782 00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:14,080 Speaker 3: I was like, my poor child has been going hungry. 783 00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:16,759 Speaker 3: I'm not doing the job I'm supposed to do, and 784 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:19,960 Speaker 3: it's really it really affects you. It's really awful. But 785 00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:23,600 Speaker 3: you know, my husband keeps reminding me, and I keep 786 00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:25,279 Speaker 3: trying to remind myself that I'm doing the best that 787 00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:27,120 Speaker 3: I can and it's not my fault. And I'm eating 788 00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:28,920 Speaker 3: all the foods that I'm doing all the things and 789 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,879 Speaker 3: pumping all the tools, and that's all that I can do. 790 00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:35,879 Speaker 3: And you know, if my body's going and not doing 791 00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,359 Speaker 3: what it's supposed to do, then that's okay, and he's 792 00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:41,480 Speaker 3: going to eat anyway, and it's okay. But yeah, we 793 00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:43,360 Speaker 3: do we kind of beat ourselves up a little bit 794 00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:47,160 Speaker 3: about these things. It's this typical mum guilt that you 795 00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:51,040 Speaker 3: hear about that you just can't help even though rationally 796 00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:54,480 Speaker 3: you know you're not doing anything wrong. But yeah, that 797 00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:57,160 Speaker 3: I underestimated breastfeeding a lot. 798 00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:03,480 Speaker 4: It sounds like a wild and like that's coming from 799 00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:07,080 Speaker 4: someone who you might be surprised by this, has never breastfed. 800 00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:14,120 Speaker 1: I'm scared, but I also like babies. 801 00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:17,000 Speaker 4: Are not necessarily within a future for me or sour 802 00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:20,840 Speaker 4: at the present at all. But I think everything that 803 00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:26,440 Speaker 4: you've said throughout the whole thing is just it's really hopeful. 804 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,200 Speaker 1: And it's really exciting, and even with. 805 00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:31,320 Speaker 4: Like all of the parts that are like, God, I 806 00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:34,560 Speaker 4: watch this fucking pump again, and you know, sitting in 807 00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:37,680 Speaker 4: the chair, all of it you say with a smile, 808 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:42,520 Speaker 4: and you look genuinely like you're glowing from the inside, 809 00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:44,160 Speaker 4: and it's just really. 810 00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:46,719 Speaker 1: Beautiful to see keep making you cry. 811 00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:59,000 Speaker 4: I just think everything is so incredible and inspiring, even 812 00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:02,040 Speaker 4: to someone that hasn't had a baby and isn't planning 813 00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,000 Speaker 4: on it right now. And I would love to know 814 00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:08,880 Speaker 4: what's been your biggest life lesson on your entire journey 815 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:09,440 Speaker 4: so far. 816 00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:16,640 Speaker 3: Oh, that's a good question that for me at least, 817 00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:25,640 Speaker 3: it's easily the most fulfilling, gratifying. It's the only it 818 00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:27,760 Speaker 3: feels like the only thing that's ever given me purpose, 819 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:30,279 Speaker 3: even though I've had a lot of purpose in my 820 00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:32,160 Speaker 3: life and I've had a very fulfilling life and I'm 821 00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:34,520 Speaker 3: really grateful for everything that I've been able to achieve 822 00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:40,919 Speaker 3: and do. Having Fletcher is just it's incomparable, truly, and 823 00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:46,640 Speaker 3: I'm so grateful that I've been able to have this experience. 824 00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:51,640 Speaker 3: And I just I love motherhood. It's so precious, it's 825 00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:55,880 Speaker 3: so beautiful. Every day is different. Every time your baby 826 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,520 Speaker 3: makes a new noise, it's exciting. And every time they 827 00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:00,759 Speaker 3: flash smile at you, it's like you just melt away. 828 00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:04,160 Speaker 3: Everything is like whatever, Okay, yeah, it's been really fucked 829 00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:06,360 Speaker 3: I've had a really hard day. And then they smile 830 00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:08,879 Speaker 3: and you're like, okay, yeah, let's do it all again. 831 00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:15,759 Speaker 3: That's fine, let's have another one, you know. So yeah, 832 00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:20,800 Speaker 3: it's it's been the most fulfilling thing I've ever done, 833 00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:25,239 Speaker 3: and I love it. It's been beautiful. So happy for you, 834 00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:28,719 Speaker 3: Thanks for you both. Yeah, it's incredible. 835 00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:39,160 Speaker 1: Before we'll start crying. 836 00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:44,560 Speaker 2: For any of the cheeks who don't already follow you, 837 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:47,040 Speaker 2: where can they find you and listen to your podcast too? 838 00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,000 Speaker 3: Oh okay, So our podcast is called Mad About You. 839 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:53,160 Speaker 3: You can find it anywhere you get your podcasts. And 840 00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:57,239 Speaker 3: my handle is it's spelt Jade TWINCHI t U n 841 00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:01,600 Speaker 3: c h Y and that's the same across the So, yeah, 842 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:02,240 Speaker 3: ch We'll. 843 00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,520 Speaker 2: Put links in the show notes so everyone can go 844 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:05,440 Speaker 2: follow and cry. 845 00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:09,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you so much, and thank you for being 846 00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,799 Speaker 4: so open and vulnerable about your experience. I think this 847 00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:15,960 Speaker 4: episode is going to help a lot of mums and 848 00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:18,760 Speaker 4: people who have other mums in their lives. 849 00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:21,960 Speaker 1: And yeah, thank you just so much. We're so greatful 850 00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:23,200 Speaker 1: had you on the show. 851 00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:24,879 Speaker 3: Thank you guys so much for having me. It's been 852 00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:27,560 Speaker 3: so fun, it's been wonderful. And thanks to your chicks 853 00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:28,720 Speaker 3: for having us in your ear holes. 854 00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:29,919 Speaker 1: We love to be here. 855 00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:31,919 Speaker 2: And thank you to am I k Made for making 856 00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:40,680 Speaker 2: today's episode happened by chick Bye Chicks.