1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:13,241 Speaker 1: Appodcay Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy 2 00:00:13,321 --> 00:00:14,201 Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. 3 00:00:14,361 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to 4 00:00:17,361 --> 00:00:20,801 Speaker 2: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself. 5 00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. 6 00:00:23,361 --> 00:00:26,201 Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 7 00:00:26,281 --> 00:00:27,841 Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about. 8 00:00:28,401 --> 00:00:32,241 Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self. Welcome back 9 00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:34,201 Speaker 2: to another episode of She Rises Podcast. 10 00:00:34,241 --> 00:00:36,161 Speaker 1: I'm Tiana, I'm Ashy, and. 11 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:38,601 Speaker 2: We are bringing to you Fears. 12 00:00:38,961 --> 00:00:40,240 Speaker 1: You have a whole episode on it. 13 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:43,080 Speaker 2: Biggest fears something we all have. 14 00:00:43,681 --> 00:00:46,040 Speaker 1: There's things that we're scared of, things that we worry about, 15 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,201 Speaker 1: things we have intrusive thoughts about. So we're going to 16 00:00:48,241 --> 00:00:51,001 Speaker 1: talk about all of them today. Let's just start. What's 17 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:53,241 Speaker 1: your biggest fear? If you could name one fear, what 18 00:00:53,241 --> 00:00:53,681 Speaker 1: would it be. 19 00:00:53,801 --> 00:00:57,801 Speaker 2: This is gonna sound really heavy, but being sexually assaulted. 20 00:00:57,921 --> 00:00:59,721 Speaker 1: Oh that's a real one, isn't it. 21 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,161 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's my biggest fear. From being fully honest, my 22 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:05,681 Speaker 2: biggest fear is like being out in public or you know, 23 00:01:05,801 --> 00:01:08,121 Speaker 2: you hear all these stories and there's lots of negative 24 00:01:08,121 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 2: things on the news and things like that for real 25 00:01:10,241 --> 00:01:13,161 Speaker 2: women and real stories of this being a reality for them. 26 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:14,241 Speaker 1: And it does. 27 00:01:14,321 --> 00:01:16,441 Speaker 2: It's constantly in the back of my mind when I'm 28 00:01:16,521 --> 00:01:18,481 Speaker 2: you know, walking in a place where I'm by myself 29 00:01:18,601 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 2: or you know, I don't hap Ae with me, or 30 00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:22,641 Speaker 2: I'm just you know, a place where it's a little 31 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 2: bit darker than normal, and it does pop into my head, 32 00:01:25,401 --> 00:01:27,681 Speaker 2: like the fear of you know, maybe there're being one 33 00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:30,640 Speaker 2: person and multiple people and you know ending up, you know, 34 00:01:30,761 --> 00:01:33,401 Speaker 2: having a story that a lot a lot of women 35 00:01:33,401 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 2: can really resonate with, and it just it terrifies me. 36 00:01:36,521 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 1: How often do you have that fear like pop in. 37 00:01:38,681 --> 00:01:42,361 Speaker 2: Like anytime that I'm alone in public? So daily, sometimes 38 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,441 Speaker 2: a couple times a week, sometimes once a week, Like 39 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:47,401 Speaker 2: it just depends like where I am and what I'm doing, 40 00:01:47,721 --> 00:01:51,001 Speaker 2: and if the situation seems remotely like something that starts 41 00:01:51,001 --> 00:01:52,921 Speaker 2: of a horror story where it's you know, like a 42 00:01:53,001 --> 00:01:55,361 Speaker 2: dark alleyway or you know, where it's really dark. Like 43 00:01:55,441 --> 00:01:58,641 Speaker 2: I won't go out at night and walk at night, 44 00:01:58,721 --> 00:02:01,321 Speaker 2: even though I love to do that, because it's. 45 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,321 Speaker 1: Just not worth it. Yeah, Jruci's thoughts come in. 46 00:02:03,761 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 2: I have a fear of not being out to achieve 47 00:02:05,521 --> 00:02:07,641 Speaker 2: the things that I want to achieve in this life. 48 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 2: Oh and it's a kind of like a fear laced 49 00:02:10,721 --> 00:02:13,921 Speaker 2: in like not feeling capable. 50 00:02:13,561 --> 00:02:15,601 Speaker 1: Enough, So not like running out of time. 51 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,881 Speaker 2: It's multifaceted. Okay, it's multi layered is the word. Actually, 52 00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:20,601 Speaker 2: So it's like there's a part of me that's still 53 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:22,800 Speaker 2: letting go of this belief and it pops up every 54 00:02:22,841 --> 00:02:25,721 Speaker 2: now and again where if I'm not taking enough action 55 00:02:26,441 --> 00:02:28,721 Speaker 2: towards the goal that I want, or I feel frustrated, whatever, 56 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,041 Speaker 2: I'll be like, oh, I notice the fear of being like, oh, 57 00:02:31,121 --> 00:02:34,601 Speaker 2: you're not capable enough. And so then there's that aspect, 58 00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:37,481 Speaker 2: and then there's like a what if I fear failure 59 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,281 Speaker 2: so much that it stops me from being able to 60 00:02:40,281 --> 00:02:40,641 Speaker 2: get there? 61 00:02:40,721 --> 00:02:41,721 Speaker 1: That's understandable. 62 00:02:41,921 --> 00:02:43,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's because it is. It's I think that's 63 00:02:43,841 --> 00:02:45,681 Speaker 2: been a huge thing that I've had to overcome, is 64 00:02:45,881 --> 00:02:48,601 Speaker 2: the fear of failure and fearing being able to get 65 00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:50,281 Speaker 2: to that level. And then kind of like what you 66 00:02:50,321 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 2: said as well, there's a layer of like then once 67 00:02:52,201 --> 00:02:54,121 Speaker 2: you come overcome the fear of failure, it's like the 68 00:02:54,121 --> 00:02:57,001 Speaker 2: fear of success and there's there's all these different layers 69 00:02:57,161 --> 00:02:59,521 Speaker 2: when it comes to achieving all of the things that 70 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,561 Speaker 2: you want, and it comes out in different forms, but 71 00:03:01,561 --> 00:03:04,601 Speaker 2: it's the same fear, you know, being like what happens 72 00:03:04,641 --> 00:03:06,081 Speaker 2: when I do achieve this? Am I going to be 73 00:03:06,121 --> 00:03:07,081 Speaker 2: able to hold it? Yeah? 74 00:03:08,081 --> 00:03:08,921 Speaker 1: Is it going to be too big? 75 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:11,201 Speaker 2: Is it gonna get taken away? Like all of these 76 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:14,161 Speaker 2: different fears that you accumulate over time and over your 77 00:03:14,201 --> 00:03:16,921 Speaker 2: life are just there when you want to achieve something, 78 00:03:17,001 --> 00:03:20,161 Speaker 2: especially when it comes to business, life, money, whatever. Yes, 79 00:03:20,441 --> 00:03:23,720 Speaker 2: And so for me it's like okay, cool, Like am 80 00:03:23,721 --> 00:03:25,281 Speaker 2: I going to be willing enough to be able to 81 00:03:25,281 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 2: face all those fears? 82 00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:27,281 Speaker 1: You know? 83 00:03:27,401 --> 00:03:29,361 Speaker 2: And then the moments where I have self doubt, like 84 00:03:29,401 --> 00:03:31,361 Speaker 2: I'm not exempt from self doubt, Like I still have 85 00:03:31,441 --> 00:03:33,121 Speaker 2: that come up for me, and like I am a 86 00:03:33,121 --> 00:03:35,201 Speaker 2: self worth coach and all of the things, but I 87 00:03:35,241 --> 00:03:37,720 Speaker 2: still have moments of like am I capable enough to 88 00:03:37,761 --> 00:03:40,401 Speaker 2: do this? Do I have the resources enough to do this? 89 00:03:40,441 --> 00:03:43,081 Speaker 2: Do I have enough knowledge? Do I have enough experience? 90 00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:47,081 Speaker 2: But then it's just reminding myself that whilst I get 91 00:03:47,121 --> 00:03:49,721 Speaker 2: to have all these fears, I get to choose if 92 00:03:49,801 --> 00:03:52,521 Speaker 2: I let them dictate what I do next, or what 93 00:03:52,641 --> 00:03:56,601 Speaker 2: I choose to take action towards next. So yes, they're 94 00:03:56,641 --> 00:03:58,481 Speaker 2: all still there swelling in my head every time I 95 00:03:58,521 --> 00:04:01,401 Speaker 2: do something scary or outside of my comfort zone or 96 00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:04,521 Speaker 2: something that feels like an edge for me, Like they 97 00:04:04,561 --> 00:04:07,001 Speaker 2: come along with me, Like they're in my fucking handbag, 98 00:04:07,041 --> 00:04:09,401 Speaker 2: coming with me while I do all the things that 99 00:04:09,441 --> 00:04:10,401 Speaker 2: like I really want to do. 100 00:04:10,361 --> 00:04:13,481 Speaker 1: In this life. Yeah, so relatable. I have a lot 101 00:04:13,481 --> 00:04:17,121 Speaker 1: of fears come up around business too. Even doing another 102 00:04:17,161 --> 00:04:19,841 Speaker 1: podcast with another friends. Yeah, there was massive fears that 103 00:04:19,841 --> 00:04:22,801 Speaker 1: if we have had really open dialogue about which has 104 00:04:22,841 --> 00:04:26,161 Speaker 1: been really nice for me because at any point you 105 00:04:26,161 --> 00:04:27,681 Speaker 1: could change your mind not want to do it again, 106 00:04:27,761 --> 00:04:29,201 Speaker 1: and then I feel like I have to start again, 107 00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,121 Speaker 1: and then what's everyone going to think? Yeah, what's the 108 00:04:31,121 --> 00:04:32,921 Speaker 1: assumptions they're going to make? How am I going to feel? 109 00:04:33,241 --> 00:04:35,801 Speaker 1: And we have to rebrand. It's all these fears that 110 00:04:35,841 --> 00:04:39,281 Speaker 1: came up for me throughout this process, which fears come 111 00:04:39,361 --> 00:04:42,241 Speaker 1: up often, but I just refuse to live my life 112 00:04:42,521 --> 00:04:45,681 Speaker 1: in fear. I want to feel the fears and sometimes 113 00:04:45,761 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 1: not act on them. Yeah, they don't have to actually 114 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,281 Speaker 1: mean anything. I can just feel it in that moment, 115 00:04:51,121 --> 00:04:53,401 Speaker 1: and I can talk about it and it can be there. 116 00:04:53,681 --> 00:04:56,681 Speaker 1: But then I do what actually feels right in my heart. 117 00:04:57,241 --> 00:05:00,080 Speaker 1: And when I thought about doing the podcast by myself, Yes, 118 00:05:00,121 --> 00:05:02,001 Speaker 1: I'm capable, and I prove that to myself doing the 119 00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:03,721 Speaker 1: Twelve Days of Christmas, which is a little test for 120 00:05:03,761 --> 00:05:06,281 Speaker 1: myself to see how much I could hold. Can I 121 00:05:06,281 --> 00:05:09,281 Speaker 1: have conversations with myself for half an hour? Yes, proven 122 00:05:09,361 --> 00:05:12,721 Speaker 1: can talk underwater? And then it was this decision of 123 00:05:13,241 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 1: do I want to do this by myself? It's a 124 00:05:14,921 --> 00:05:18,481 Speaker 1: hell no. I want to experience life with loved ones. 125 00:05:18,521 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 1: I want to celebrate together. I want to go through 126 00:05:20,561 --> 00:05:23,280 Speaker 1: the failurees together. I want to have someone to bounce off. 127 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,361 Speaker 1: I want to have someone to learn off. I want 128 00:05:25,361 --> 00:05:26,961 Speaker 1: to have someone to lead me, which you do in 129 00:05:27,001 --> 00:05:29,681 Speaker 1: so many beautiful ways. So that came up for me 130 00:05:29,721 --> 00:05:33,241 Speaker 1: as well. And the fear of getting successful and being 131 00:05:33,281 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: able to hold that, that's real. And I found that 132 00:05:36,561 --> 00:05:39,361 Speaker 1: in the fitness industry over the last couple of years, 133 00:05:39,401 --> 00:05:41,001 Speaker 1: I haven't been able to hold all of it because 134 00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:44,001 Speaker 1: my passion wasn't there anymore. And I look back and 135 00:05:44,041 --> 00:05:47,641 Speaker 1: reflect on how well it used to do. And then 136 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,921 Speaker 1: over the years, as I've stopped putting as much effort, 137 00:05:49,961 --> 00:05:53,041 Speaker 1: and it hasn't felt as alive for me, and I've 138 00:05:53,041 --> 00:05:56,721 Speaker 1: gone in different directions, my energy's gone elsewhere. I feared 139 00:05:56,801 --> 00:06:00,201 Speaker 1: that happening in other parts on other businesses that I do. 140 00:06:00,721 --> 00:06:03,481 Speaker 1: But then it's coming back to trusting that every part 141 00:06:03,561 --> 00:06:05,561 Speaker 1: is a chapter that's a part of your whole book 142 00:06:05,561 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 1: and your whole story, and you learn so much throughout 143 00:06:08,241 --> 00:06:10,080 Speaker 1: each of those chapters that help you with your next 144 00:06:10,081 --> 00:06:13,080 Speaker 1: project or your next business, or your next direction that 145 00:06:13,121 --> 00:06:15,361 Speaker 1: you switch lanes in. It's all a part of it. 146 00:06:15,721 --> 00:06:18,561 Speaker 1: But the fears are real. Oh yeah, I feel that. Yeah, 147 00:06:18,681 --> 00:06:19,281 Speaker 1: I think that too. 148 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 2: Sometimes I think there are definitely for me as well, 149 00:06:21,961 --> 00:06:24,601 Speaker 2: like elements of like next levels of money, yes, where 150 00:06:24,641 --> 00:06:27,440 Speaker 2: like you have to actively work through those fears and 151 00:06:27,481 --> 00:06:29,921 Speaker 2: like that just regulation that comes up around holding a 152 00:06:29,921 --> 00:06:33,241 Speaker 2: new level of money and being like uncomfortable, yeah, and 153 00:06:33,281 --> 00:06:35,921 Speaker 2: being like, oh, what's my thermometer for how comfortable I 154 00:06:35,921 --> 00:06:38,121 Speaker 2: feel with a certain amount of money? You know, how 155 00:06:38,161 --> 00:06:40,880 Speaker 2: far will I let myself go? You know, where's the 156 00:06:40,921 --> 00:06:43,321 Speaker 2: point where I get uncomfortable? And then like looking at 157 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:46,121 Speaker 2: those fears and being able to just like face all 158 00:06:46,161 --> 00:06:48,481 Speaker 2: of that break down those limiting beliefs and go like, 159 00:06:48,561 --> 00:06:50,601 Speaker 2: this is a limitation I have in my mind, you know, 160 00:06:50,761 --> 00:06:53,361 Speaker 2: But then it also is real. I feel like a 161 00:06:53,401 --> 00:06:56,241 Speaker 2: lot of people might be able to like resonate with that. 162 00:06:56,401 --> 00:06:58,081 Speaker 1: Or even if they're not resonating, you might be self 163 00:06:58,081 --> 00:07:00,841 Speaker 1: sabotaging without even realizing it. Yes, so every time you 164 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,361 Speaker 1: get that little bit closer to getting more money or 165 00:07:03,401 --> 00:07:06,361 Speaker 1: something else happening, you get scared and uncomfortable, and that's 166 00:07:06,401 --> 00:07:08,881 Speaker 1: the frequency you're on, and then your self sabotage and 167 00:07:08,921 --> 00:07:10,761 Speaker 1: you pull yourself back. But it's more comfortable to sit 168 00:07:10,761 --> 00:07:12,961 Speaker 1: over here. And if I get rich, will people think 169 00:07:13,001 --> 00:07:16,121 Speaker 1: I'm greedy? If I get successful, they think that I'm 170 00:07:16,121 --> 00:07:17,601 Speaker 1: not going to fit in with everyone else. Well, i'd 171 00:07:17,601 --> 00:07:19,281 Speaker 1: be the outcast. If I become the boss, or I 172 00:07:19,281 --> 00:07:21,681 Speaker 1: get this promotion or I get this award or whatever 173 00:07:21,681 --> 00:07:23,041 Speaker 1: it is, Are people not going to want to be 174 00:07:23,041 --> 00:07:23,761 Speaker 1: my friend anymore? 175 00:07:23,721 --> 00:07:24,761 Speaker 2: I want to be relatable. 176 00:07:24,841 --> 00:07:26,601 Speaker 1: Yeah, I might just do my life to stay over 177 00:07:26,601 --> 00:07:28,521 Speaker 1: here because it's a bit safer. I feels more comfortable 178 00:07:28,641 --> 00:07:29,361 Speaker 1: easy to be here. 179 00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:31,721 Speaker 2: I know how to behave in a space. I think 180 00:07:31,761 --> 00:07:34,721 Speaker 2: something that came up for me around money was when 181 00:07:34,761 --> 00:07:37,601 Speaker 2: I had a not a bad relationship. Yeah, a bad 182 00:07:37,601 --> 00:07:40,321 Speaker 2: relationship with money. Let's say I wasn't responsible with money, 183 00:07:40,801 --> 00:07:42,961 Speaker 2: and when I was in that phase, I was like 184 00:07:43,281 --> 00:07:46,641 Speaker 2: to myself and would have conversations with myself being like, 185 00:07:47,121 --> 00:07:50,881 Speaker 2: if I accumulate more money, am I going to blow it? 186 00:07:51,201 --> 00:07:52,041 Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah? 187 00:07:52,121 --> 00:07:54,001 Speaker 2: And it was a fear of gaining more money out 188 00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,481 Speaker 2: of the way that I would behave when I got it. 189 00:07:55,921 --> 00:07:59,961 Speaker 2: I hadn't yet built a responsible relationship with money for 190 00:08:00,081 --> 00:08:03,041 Speaker 2: me to feel confident in myself and trust that I 191 00:08:03,081 --> 00:08:04,881 Speaker 2: was capable of handling that amount of money. 192 00:08:05,121 --> 00:08:06,761 Speaker 1: Interesting. Yes, relatable. 193 00:08:06,961 --> 00:08:08,641 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really interesting. 194 00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:10,561 Speaker 1: Yeah, isn't it. I feel like everyonem listening, I'm so 195 00:08:10,641 --> 00:08:12,961 Speaker 1: curious if you're in our forum, I'd love everyone to 196 00:08:12,961 --> 00:08:16,041 Speaker 1: start sharing some stories if they have any any stories 197 00:08:16,081 --> 00:08:19,041 Speaker 1: around their relationship with money. I think it's a big 198 00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,761 Speaker 1: wound and trigger for a lot of people. Oh yeah, yeah, 199 00:08:22,081 --> 00:08:24,761 Speaker 1: so interesting. The fear of success, the fear of sailing, 200 00:08:25,241 --> 00:08:27,841 Speaker 1: the fear of growth, even the fear of growth, the 201 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:31,201 Speaker 1: fear of growth because when you grow. We've spoken a 202 00:08:31,201 --> 00:08:33,801 Speaker 1: lot about relationships. Sometimes you can grow apart from people. 203 00:08:34,321 --> 00:08:36,801 Speaker 1: You can outgrow a job or an environment that feels 204 00:08:36,841 --> 00:08:38,801 Speaker 1: safe and feels nice, and you have to step it 205 00:08:38,961 --> 00:08:41,601 Speaker 1: up and evolve and change. That can be really scary. 206 00:08:41,881 --> 00:08:44,801 Speaker 2: It's almost like when you want to leave a relationship, 207 00:08:45,081 --> 00:08:46,601 Speaker 2: sometimes the thing that stops. 208 00:08:46,241 --> 00:08:47,441 Speaker 1: You is the fear of growth. 209 00:08:47,641 --> 00:08:50,361 Speaker 2: Because when you choose to leave a relationship, you're choosing 210 00:08:50,401 --> 00:08:51,641 Speaker 2: growth over the relationship. 211 00:08:52,001 --> 00:08:53,961 Speaker 1: You choose growth for safety on your. 212 00:08:53,881 --> 00:08:56,761 Speaker 2: Own, growth within yourself. That's something in you has changed 213 00:08:56,801 --> 00:09:00,441 Speaker 2: and evolved. Yes, you're leaving this part of your life behind, 214 00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:03,241 Speaker 2: and that's a scary thing. It's like, it doesn't matter 215 00:09:03,241 --> 00:09:06,201 Speaker 2: whether change is good or bad, still are terrified of 216 00:09:06,241 --> 00:09:09,121 Speaker 2: it because it means that something is changing, which means 217 00:09:09,121 --> 00:09:12,561 Speaker 2: that our level of control over the situation is changing. Yeah, 218 00:09:12,641 --> 00:09:15,641 Speaker 2: it's going to be different, the dynamic shifts. You're going 219 00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:17,801 Speaker 2: to have to learn how to behave in a completely 220 00:09:17,841 --> 00:09:22,961 Speaker 2: new way with different circumstances, different people. Yeah, brings up 221 00:09:23,001 --> 00:09:23,561 Speaker 2: a lot of fear. 222 00:09:23,881 --> 00:09:27,281 Speaker 1: It does. Another big fear of mine, which I've openly 223 00:09:27,321 --> 00:09:29,721 Speaker 1: spoken about in social media for years. It's fear of flying. 224 00:09:30,041 --> 00:09:33,001 Speaker 1: I'm terrified. I hate the takeoff, I hate any turbulence. 225 00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:36,641 Speaker 1: I hate the thought of floating in this little machine 226 00:09:37,041 --> 00:09:39,041 Speaker 1: up in the air. How are we not falling? To 227 00:09:39,081 --> 00:09:41,641 Speaker 1: our death. I look around people falling asleep, and I 228 00:09:41,641 --> 00:09:44,841 Speaker 1: think to myself, are you crazy? You're worried that we're 229 00:09:44,881 --> 00:09:48,081 Speaker 1: just floating in mid air? Yeah, like that is insidly 230 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:48,361 Speaker 1: to me. 231 00:09:48,401 --> 00:09:50,601 Speaker 2: It's a pretty incredible concept when you think about it. 232 00:09:50,961 --> 00:09:54,041 Speaker 1: I used to have crazy panic attacks. Is one that 233 00:09:54,081 --> 00:09:56,121 Speaker 1: stands out to me. We're on our way back from America. 234 00:09:56,161 --> 00:09:58,721 Speaker 1: Steve nights before we had targed years and years ago. 235 00:09:59,521 --> 00:10:01,681 Speaker 1: You know, like, picture someone on a roller coaster screaming 236 00:10:01,681 --> 00:10:04,681 Speaker 1: their guts out because the ride's so scary. That was 237 00:10:04,721 --> 00:10:07,721 Speaker 1: me the back of the plane, oh, screaming the flight 238 00:10:07,801 --> 00:10:09,721 Speaker 1: it and had said to Steve, you need to calm 239 00:10:09,761 --> 00:10:13,641 Speaker 1: her down. She's scaring other passengers. He got like four 240 00:10:13,721 --> 00:10:17,161 Speaker 1: or five value and shoved them down my throat and 241 00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:20,361 Speaker 1: then I was so like docile and calm, but I 242 00:10:20,401 --> 00:10:22,761 Speaker 1: was still We're sorry. I should have given more context. 243 00:10:22,761 --> 00:10:24,601 Speaker 1: We were in the middle of a storm, so I'm 244 00:10:24,641 --> 00:10:30,201 Speaker 1: talking bumpy seatbell signs on like lightning, dark clouds. It 245 00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:32,801 Speaker 1: was horrific, and I was saying, to tell me what, 246 00:10:32,921 --> 00:10:34,681 Speaker 1: I love her, Just tell her I love her, because 247 00:10:34,681 --> 00:10:36,481 Speaker 1: I thought that was the end. Yeah, I don't know 248 00:10:36,481 --> 00:10:38,001 Speaker 1: why I'm asking him to say that, because if we're 249 00:10:38,001 --> 00:10:40,361 Speaker 1: going down, he's going down with it. But yeah, I 250 00:10:40,441 --> 00:10:42,681 Speaker 1: was that petrified the flight. Egendent was said, you need 251 00:10:42,761 --> 00:10:46,441 Speaker 1: to calm her down. He's like, I'm trying. See, I'm 252 00:10:46,441 --> 00:10:48,801 Speaker 1: doing the best that I can. Yeah, that was terrifying 253 00:10:48,841 --> 00:10:51,081 Speaker 1: for me. And over the years the seven videos of 254 00:10:51,081 --> 00:10:53,681 Speaker 1: me on YouTube when I did the online series of 255 00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:56,921 Speaker 1: me like crying and full holding on people's hands and shaking, 256 00:10:57,001 --> 00:10:59,921 Speaker 1: and I just could not calm myself down. But over 257 00:10:59,961 --> 00:11:02,401 Speaker 1: the years, as I've learned to regulate my nervous system 258 00:11:02,481 --> 00:11:06,201 Speaker 1: and learn how to breathe trust the process, I just 259 00:11:06,241 --> 00:11:09,161 Speaker 1: said to myself, I'm never going to stop this fear 260 00:11:09,481 --> 00:11:12,561 Speaker 1: from me being able to experience the world and take 261 00:11:12,561 --> 00:11:16,681 Speaker 1: my kids traveling and say yes to opportunities. I never 262 00:11:16,681 --> 00:11:18,921 Speaker 1: wanted to stop me, So I still get on that 263 00:11:18,961 --> 00:11:21,441 Speaker 1: plane every single time. I've never let it get in 264 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:24,041 Speaker 1: the way of anything. But now I can breathe through it. 265 00:11:24,241 --> 00:11:27,441 Speaker 2: How is your experience going on the plane overseas to 266 00:11:27,481 --> 00:11:28,361 Speaker 2: Europe with TAJ. 267 00:11:28,881 --> 00:11:30,961 Speaker 1: It's very interesting you ask that, because when I'm in 268 00:11:30,961 --> 00:11:35,001 Speaker 1: business class, I'm a lot more comfortable. So I think 269 00:11:35,041 --> 00:11:37,961 Speaker 1: I've learned lately too that it's a little bit of costrophobia, yes, 270 00:11:38,201 --> 00:11:41,321 Speaker 1: actually being stuck in a small, confined space. And when 271 00:11:41,321 --> 00:11:43,001 Speaker 1: you're in business class. I hate to say this, but 272 00:11:43,121 --> 00:11:47,641 Speaker 1: they treat you a lot nicer different. That's what it is. 273 00:11:47,641 --> 00:11:49,881 Speaker 1: The service. I don't treat nice. It's a service. You're 274 00:11:49,921 --> 00:11:52,721 Speaker 1: paying for more service, so they're very attentive. I've got 275 00:11:52,721 --> 00:11:56,081 Speaker 1: a lot more space, and I've had pilots actually tell 276 00:11:56,121 --> 00:11:57,401 Speaker 1: me that the front of the plane is not as 277 00:11:57,441 --> 00:11:59,641 Speaker 1: bumpy and loud as the back, so it's actually a 278 00:11:59,641 --> 00:12:01,561 Speaker 1: lot more quiet at the front. So now I will 279 00:12:01,561 --> 00:12:03,241 Speaker 1: pay extra money to sit at the front of a plane, 280 00:12:03,241 --> 00:12:06,161 Speaker 1: even if it's economy. But yeah, we've business class and 281 00:12:06,641 --> 00:12:10,761 Speaker 1: funny enough, TAJA's passion is aeroplanes. So he's actually my 282 00:12:10,761 --> 00:12:14,801 Speaker 1: favorite person to travel with because his joy almost overrides 283 00:12:14,881 --> 00:12:17,241 Speaker 1: my fear. And when it got bumpy, he would hold 284 00:12:17,321 --> 00:12:19,921 Speaker 1: my hand and say things like, Mum, you're more likely 285 00:12:19,921 --> 00:12:21,761 Speaker 1: gonna eat him by a shark. It's just the turbulent. 286 00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:24,801 Speaker 1: See the clouds. No planes are made to ride in storms. 287 00:12:25,041 --> 00:12:26,521 Speaker 1: He would love if we got caught in a storm. 288 00:12:26,601 --> 00:12:27,961 Speaker 2: Oh my god, is he so sweet? 289 00:12:28,041 --> 00:12:31,401 Speaker 1: Yeah, so his joy is almost overrides my fear, So yeah, 290 00:12:31,401 --> 00:12:32,801 Speaker 1: it was great. There was a couple of in between 291 00:12:32,801 --> 00:12:34,801 Speaker 1: flights that got a bit bumpy, that were a bit scary, 292 00:12:34,881 --> 00:12:37,201 Speaker 1: but yeah, I got through it with him. And I 293 00:12:37,241 --> 00:12:39,161 Speaker 1: have gotten better as I've got older, because I just 294 00:12:39,241 --> 00:12:41,841 Speaker 1: feel safer in my own body and I know how 295 00:12:41,841 --> 00:12:46,441 Speaker 1: to bring myself back down and just breathe through the process. So, yeah, 296 00:12:47,041 --> 00:12:50,521 Speaker 1: does he have any weird fears like that, heights, cars, motorbikes, 297 00:12:50,881 --> 00:12:54,241 Speaker 1: paranormal Oh yes, you said this the other day. 298 00:12:54,281 --> 00:12:55,881 Speaker 2: He scares the living down that out of me. Like, 299 00:12:55,921 --> 00:12:57,921 Speaker 2: I don't watch can movies. Yeah, I don't watch I 300 00:12:57,921 --> 00:13:00,041 Speaker 2: don't watch school. I don't like it. It makes me 301 00:13:00,561 --> 00:13:02,361 Speaker 2: not think that it's safe to leave my feet out 302 00:13:02,401 --> 00:13:04,201 Speaker 2: of the blanket at night. It makes me when I 303 00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:06,521 Speaker 2: turn the lights off neat run down the hallway. It's 304 00:13:06,561 --> 00:13:07,921 Speaker 2: just not a good time for me. I just get 305 00:13:08,041 --> 00:13:10,201 Speaker 2: so scared. And I think it comes from I've shared 306 00:13:10,201 --> 00:13:13,721 Speaker 2: this on a previous Freaky Friday episode about a horror 307 00:13:13,801 --> 00:13:16,721 Speaker 2: like a ghost story where I lived in a house 308 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:19,441 Speaker 2: where a man had committed like a homicide in the house, 309 00:13:19,441 --> 00:13:21,241 Speaker 2: and so there was like, I mean, I don't know 310 00:13:21,241 --> 00:13:22,481 Speaker 2: if you guys are into this or not if you 311 00:13:22,561 --> 00:13:25,161 Speaker 2: believe this whatsoever, but from what I remember, there was 312 00:13:25,201 --> 00:13:27,601 Speaker 2: some really like paranormal things that happened in that house. 313 00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:29,601 Speaker 2: And I was quite young at the time, and I 314 00:13:29,641 --> 00:13:33,201 Speaker 2: just remember from their experiencing those things, I was so 315 00:13:33,361 --> 00:13:37,041 Speaker 2: terrified of paranormal activity or anything to do with it 316 00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:39,001 Speaker 2: that it just like scares me. 317 00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:41,721 Speaker 1: Like a traumatic moment as aid, Yeah. 318 00:13:41,201 --> 00:13:44,081 Speaker 2: The fear of being out of control of something that 319 00:13:44,161 --> 00:13:46,201 Speaker 2: is wanting to harm me or like obviously that's a 320 00:13:46,241 --> 00:13:50,041 Speaker 2: movie no depiction, and not being able to control whether 321 00:13:50,081 --> 00:13:52,441 Speaker 2: it's good, whether it's bad, whether it's a negative experience, 322 00:13:52,521 --> 00:13:55,361 Speaker 2: like even sleep paralysis. Like I was talking about sleep 323 00:13:55,361 --> 00:13:58,001 Speaker 2: prolysis with my girlfriend Darcy the other day, and that 324 00:13:59,001 --> 00:14:03,441 Speaker 2: scares me. I remember I had this one sleep paralysis 325 00:14:03,521 --> 00:14:07,161 Speaker 2: experience and it's apparently there's spirits, Like, oh yeah, apparently 326 00:14:07,241 --> 00:14:09,161 Speaker 2: that's spirit. I mean, I don't know how treats is 327 00:14:09,361 --> 00:14:15,121 Speaker 2: passing on information, So apparently sleep paralysis are spirits that 328 00:14:15,401 --> 00:14:18,841 Speaker 2: kind of able to penetrate like your energy when you're 329 00:14:18,961 --> 00:14:22,161 Speaker 2: in a weak mental state. Yeah, so like people who 330 00:14:22,201 --> 00:14:24,121 Speaker 2: do drugs and are drinking and stuff like that, they 331 00:14:24,161 --> 00:14:26,681 Speaker 2: get that stuff more frequently. And I remember when I 332 00:14:26,721 --> 00:14:28,801 Speaker 2: went through my party phase. I was getting sleep prolysis 333 00:14:28,841 --> 00:14:32,081 Speaker 2: a lot, and I had this one thing and I 334 00:14:32,081 --> 00:14:34,481 Speaker 2: remember I had a partner at the time, and I 335 00:14:34,521 --> 00:14:36,561 Speaker 2: was laying on my bed on the left side, and 336 00:14:36,601 --> 00:14:39,001 Speaker 2: I was laying on my left hand side, and I 337 00:14:39,041 --> 00:14:42,961 Speaker 2: remember not being able to say anything, move, scream, nothing, 338 00:14:43,241 --> 00:14:46,121 Speaker 2: And it was like this figure or ghost or it 339 00:14:46,161 --> 00:14:48,841 Speaker 2: was a woman. She was laying on top of my body. No, 340 00:14:48,961 --> 00:14:51,401 Speaker 2: she had long, dark haired, like white gown the whole 341 00:14:51,441 --> 00:14:54,681 Speaker 2: like exorcist kind of vibe. And she was laying on 342 00:14:54,801 --> 00:14:57,001 Speaker 2: me smiling at me, like staring at me. 343 00:14:57,001 --> 00:14:59,521 Speaker 1: Like this, Oh my god, that's so creepy baby. 344 00:14:59,561 --> 00:15:01,681 Speaker 2: And I couldn't scream, I couldn't move. I was like 345 00:15:01,721 --> 00:15:04,321 Speaker 2: to my part like like and I woke up, and 346 00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,321 Speaker 2: I got angry at him because I was like, you 347 00:15:06,361 --> 00:15:09,041 Speaker 2: didn't do anything. You didn't help me, you didn't do anything. 348 00:15:09,081 --> 00:15:10,601 Speaker 2: You didn't see it, Like, why didn't you wake up? 349 00:15:10,641 --> 00:15:13,801 Speaker 2: Because I couldn't comprehend when it just happened. That stuff 350 00:15:13,841 --> 00:15:15,681 Speaker 2: for me, it's a. 351 00:15:15,601 --> 00:15:19,241 Speaker 1: No go zone. It's come out. Yes, Thanks so much 352 00:15:19,281 --> 00:15:21,481 Speaker 1: for joining us. If you love this episode, share it around, 353 00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,641 Speaker 1: don't forget to join our Facebook forum. Just search she 354 00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:26,641 Speaker 1: rises on Facebook. Come and extend the conversation. Chat with 355 00:15:26,761 --> 00:15:29,761 Speaker 1: like minded women. It's beautiful and we'll see you in 356 00:15:29,761 --> 00:15:32,281 Speaker 1: the next episode. Bye bye.