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Speaker 1: Everyone, it's Cully here for this week's Mojo Monday. I've

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Speaker 1: talked a lot on Mojo Monday about our inner critic,

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Speaker 1: but today I want to explore a different voice that

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Speaker 1: lives inside all of us, and that is the voice

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Speaker 1: that judges others. So before I get into it, I

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Speaker 1: just want to say very clearly that judging others is normal.

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Speaker 1: I don't think anybody who is listening to this will

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Speaker 1: say that they've never judged anybody. It's really built into

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Speaker 1: the human brain, and from an evolutionary perspective, quick assessments

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Speaker 1: helped us survive. So we needed to know who we

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Speaker 1: could trust, who contributed to the tribe, or who might

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Speaker 1: be a threat. So judgment was information and it was

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Speaker 1: about survival. But I'm going to talk about the unhelpful

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Speaker 1: kind of judgment here, kind that can be really harsh.

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Speaker 1: It's a kind of judgment that fuels gossip and criticism

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Speaker 1: or self righteousness. And we all know someone who does

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Speaker 1: this chronically, and sometimes, if we're really honest with ourselves,

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Speaker 1: that someone has been us. And I know it has

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Speaker 1: been me at times, and when I look back, I

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Speaker 1: can see that in those moments, what I lacked was

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Speaker 1: that stoic virtue of wisdom. I didn't pause, I didn't

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Speaker 1: reflect on my choices. I just reacted. And this is

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Speaker 1: where curiosity can become really powerful. So instead of snapping

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Speaker 1: into judgment mode, what if we paused long enough to ask,

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Speaker 1: I wonder why they see it that way? Or I

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Speaker 1: wonder what it feels like to be them right now?

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Speaker 1: This simple shift moves us from a narrow view to

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Speaker 1: a wider one, And there's actual research that backs this up.

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Speaker 1: So studies from Stanford and UC Berkeley show that taking

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Speaker 1: a moment to adopt another person's perspective reduces emotional reactivity,

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Speaker 1: it lowers stress, and it also increases compassion. It doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean that we have to agree with anything, but what

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Speaker 1: we can do is understand, and that tiny widening of

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Speaker 1: perspective can change everything because curiosity softens that in a judge,

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Speaker 1: It gives your nervous system breathing room. You become more

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Speaker 1: grounded and less triggered, and more capable of responding wisely.

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Speaker 1: So you may not agree with what that person is

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Speaker 1: saying or doing, and that's okay. You may even think

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Speaker 1: that they're completely wrong, But when you imagine standing in

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Speaker 1: their shoes for a moment, so their upbringing, their stresses,

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Speaker 1: their blind spots, their fears, something really interesting can happen.

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Speaker 1: The judgment loses its intensity. You see a human rather

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Speaker 1: than a problem. And you might also recognize something that

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Speaker 1: the Stoics understood deeply, and that is that some people

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Speaker 1: simply haven't developed the wisdom to pause before reacting, and

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Speaker 1: sometimes neither have we. So either way, curiosity opens the

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Speaker 1: door to compassion rather than conflict. So Marcus Cyrilius, the

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Speaker 1: Stoic philosopher, he wrote in his journal to himself, So

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Speaker 1: I find that fascinating. With all the lessons and the

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Speaker 1: quotes of Marcus Aurelius, he is actually talking to himself.

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Speaker 1: And he wrote, you always have the power to have

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Speaker 1: no opinion, so that means you don't have to voice

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Speaker 1: every thought that your mind produces. And he also said

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Speaker 1: things are not asking to be judged by you, lee

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Speaker 1: them alone. I think that's really really good advice that

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Speaker 1: he gave for himself. And Epictetis, the Stoic philosopher, said,

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Speaker 1: it's not things that upset us, but our opinions about things.

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Speaker 1: So next time someone's political beliefs irritate you, or their

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Speaker 1: behavior feels wrong, or their choices don't match yours. Try

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Speaker 1: this pause, get curious, ask what might this look like

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Speaker 1: from their perspective, and ask yourself, is voicing my judgment

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Speaker 1: wise or will it create unnecessarily suffering? Because most of

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Speaker 1: the time, what people think and feel and do is

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Speaker 1: outside of your control, but how you interpret it and

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Speaker 1: how you respond is completely within yours. And sometimes choosing

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Speaker 1: not to express your opinion is a better long term

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Speaker 1: option than potentially creating conflict that may not end well.

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Speaker 1: And maybe this is actually really good advice in the

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Speaker 1: lead up to Christmas. So here's a beautiful surprising part.

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Speaker 1: When you move from judgment to curiosity, you actually suffer less.

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Speaker 1: Your nervous system comes, your relationships soften, You become steadier

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Speaker 1: and a kind of version of yourself. So this week

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Speaker 1: and maybe on Christmas Day, try a little stoic experiment.

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Speaker 1: When judgment rises, pause, choose not to voice your opinion.

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Speaker 1: Instead shift it to curiosity, because you might find that

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Speaker 1: curiosity feels a lot better than being right. Have a

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Speaker 1: great week, everyone, and I'll catch you next week. Thea