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Speaker 1: I get eight champions. It's the You Project? What else

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Speaker 1: would it be? Craig Anthony Harper reporting for Judy, know,

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Speaker 1: Tiffany and Cook. It's just me all by myself.

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Speaker 2: Fuck.

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Speaker 1: I hope I can manage it. Paul Taylor and I've

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Speaker 1: been friends for years. Nothing's changed. He's been a bloody

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Speaker 1: a mainstay on the Australian fitness and health landscape for

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Speaker 1: fucking decades. Now he's an immigrant. Don't hold that against him.

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Speaker 1: You probably won't understand him. But if I do need

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Speaker 1: to decode anything, I will. Great Champ, how are you?

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Speaker 2: I'm bloody awesome?

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Speaker 1: How did w are you? Sounding like an Aussie? More

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Speaker 1: and more? How long have you? Is it? Two decades?

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Speaker 2: Hello you? It is. This is my twenty first year.

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Speaker 2: It's going to be my twenty first anniversary here on

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Speaker 2: the fourteenth of December.

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Speaker 1: Well, happy anniversary. It feels like five minutes ago that

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Speaker 1: you stumbled in like a tall leopard corn into my

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Speaker 1: facility at six four three in Apan Highway, which was

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Speaker 1: then called Harper's is now the Woodshed with Sam Wood.

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Speaker 1: But how long? What year did you come in? What

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Speaker 1: year did we meet?

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Speaker 2: We went a matt at two thousand and five, because

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Speaker 2: I got here the end of two thousand and four

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Speaker 2: and probably walked into your office I would say January

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Speaker 2: or February of two thousand and five. Ah, there you go.

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Speaker 1: For those who don't know, Paul, of course is an

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Speaker 1: excise physiologists, got a master's in X fears and nutrition,

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Speaker 1: and now a PhD in psychology. He's a straight up

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Speaker 1: smarty pants. He's not got a new book. We'll explore

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Speaker 1: that and more. But yeah, we worked, We worked together,

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Speaker 1: we worked in the same facility, We worked side by

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Speaker 1: side for quite a long time, and we've still been

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Speaker 1: collaborating over the years ever since. For those who don't

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Speaker 1: know you, who are meeting you for the first time,

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Speaker 1: give everyone a little bit of a because we have

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Speaker 1: a turnover of listeners and we constantly have new listeners.

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Speaker 1: So give us a little bit of it. Rather than

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Speaker 1: me reading some bio, give us a bit of a

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Speaker 1: snapshot of you.

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Speaker 2: So look, my background is pretty eclectic and born and

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Speaker 2: reised in Belfast from a mixed marriage, which has a

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Speaker 2: different connotation there and then everywhere else. Went to UNI,

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Speaker 2: studied information management, then did a master's sports science, then

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Speaker 2: joined the British military as an Arist Catholic, not many

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Speaker 2: of us. Spent eight years flying in helicopters, doing anti

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Speaker 2: submarine more for helicopters, starch and rescue, went through combat survival,

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Speaker 2: resistance to interrogation training, did another master's part time, and

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Speaker 2: then moved over to the Australia as an exercise physiologist

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Speaker 2: nutrition has set up in your business, and then started

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Speaker 2: doing corporate speaking, and then realized that it wasn't about

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Speaker 2: telling people what to do, it was about behavior changing

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Speaker 2: me and you had many conversations about that. So I

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Speaker 2: went and studied neuroscience and the last bit of the

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Speaker 2: puzzle for me was doing the pH d in psychology,

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Speaker 2: where I explored cognitive fitness, which is performance under pressure

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Speaker 2: and hardiness psychological hardiness, which is the topic of my

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Speaker 2: new book. So now me and Gig is I'm a

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Speaker 2: corporate speaker. I've also got a podcast like yours and

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Speaker 2: an author as well. So following in your footsteps, Graig.

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Speaker 1: Well, you're definitely not. You've taken mom just in your dust.

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Speaker 1: I'm just wearing fucking goggles so I don't get all

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Speaker 1: the bloody debris in my face from just charging ahead

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Speaker 1: like a fucking ripper that you are. Do you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean? I have congratulated you, but let's congratulate

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Speaker 1: your fish officially, so doctor Paul Taylor for the first

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Speaker 1: time on this podcast anyway, Doctor Paul Taylor. Mate, really,

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Speaker 1: and it sounds silly something coming from me, who it's

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Speaker 1: funny how much our kind of lives parallel. But as

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Speaker 1: the guy who is not a doctor of psychology to

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Speaker 1: the guy who is a doctor of psychology, congratulations, sincerely.

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Speaker 1: I'm obviously I'm personally interested to know what's the feeling like.

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Speaker 1: Is that relief? Is that joy is at fucking pride?

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Speaker 1: I don't know because it's in years.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And I think it's a little bit of everything.

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Speaker 2: I think the first one I prayers submit is just

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Speaker 2: massive relief that fucking hell, this is finally done and

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Speaker 2: dusted and in.

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Speaker 1: And then you sent me a screenshot of that. I

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Speaker 1: was I was equally proud and resentful. I'm like, ah,

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Speaker 1: that's amazing. Fuck him. I'm like, oh, I couldn't be

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Speaker 1: proud of fuck off.

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Speaker 2: That's right. I see you were the first person to

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Speaker 2: you find eating before my parents, because I clicked because

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Speaker 2: we are sort of running in parallel and you're a

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Speaker 2: better ahead of me. And then I was a better

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Speaker 2: ahead of you. And then luckily I had luckily I

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Speaker 2: had opened heart surgery which put me in hospital, and

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Speaker 2: the accelerated the finishing of my PhD because i'd probably

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Speaker 2: still be on it. So yeah, relief. And then and

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Speaker 2: then when I reflected, I remember actually I went in

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Speaker 2: the day after I went in to Carly maybe I

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Speaker 2: get up in the morning and I was saying, you know,

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Speaker 2: I was. I was sitting there and I was I

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Speaker 2: was going through my miner right right, what's the next

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Speaker 2: one we're doing next? And then I said to Carley,

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Speaker 2: I think I just need to slow down and take

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Speaker 2: a bit of a break for a while. And she

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Speaker 2: laughed at when she went, Paul, it's been less than

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Speaker 2: twenty four hours for God's sick.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. But then you know, then when people start

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Speaker 2: calling you doctor when you're doing a talk doctor Paul,

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Speaker 2: first of all, I was like, fucking hell, who's that.

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Speaker 2: So now I'm starting to get a little bit more

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Speaker 2: comfortable with it. Just presented at the Melbourne Business School

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Speaker 2: actually to the CEOs program, and it's it's nice because

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Speaker 2: it gives you, particularly when you're talking at that level.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's it's just that that kind of sense

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Speaker 2: of you know, you deserve to be there. It's the

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Speaker 2: I think it's probably the best thing is it's killed

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Speaker 2: that little residual thing that's in the back of your mind,

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Speaker 2: you know, that that whole imposter syndrome that has been

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Speaker 2: around for a long time, and I think it's now

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Speaker 2: finally Dad.

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Speaker 1: So well, I reckon with you know, multiple books are

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Speaker 1: very and internationally successful, podcast two masters a PhD. You're

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Speaker 1: probably going, okay, you can probably say I'm not a

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Speaker 1: complete fucking fraud, But that whole, I mean, what is

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Speaker 1: interesting is it almost doesn't matter what you do. Like

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Speaker 1: I've done a few good things as well, you know,

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Speaker 1: I worked with e late Sporting Class, I've spoken all

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Speaker 1: over the world all that shit, and yeah, for me,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know if for a PhD

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Speaker 1: is going to get rid of it, but I'll let

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Speaker 1: you know when the time comes. But yeah, that whole

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Speaker 1: I don't feel worthy. I don't feel good enough. I

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Speaker 1: don't feel whatever enough. Whether it's pretty enough, funny enough,

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Speaker 1: you know, clever enough, talented enough, skilled enough, it's almost

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Speaker 1: it's almost unavoidable for human beings some version of.

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Speaker 2: That, right, yeah, and look it can't be It actually

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Speaker 2: can be very useful. And I find that Maine was

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Speaker 2: very useful. For some people, it's not useful, but for

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Speaker 2: other people it sort of drives them on. So for me,

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Speaker 2: I talk about functional and dysfunctional imposter syndrome. It's just

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Speaker 2: like it's like narcissistic tendencies. There are some functional narcissistic

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Speaker 2: tendencies and some dysfunctional narcissistic tendencies.

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Speaker 1: That's so good. I love that. I like for me,

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Speaker 1: my kind of my analogy is I tell people that

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Speaker 1: mediocrity is my superpower because I'm so fucking average at

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Speaker 1: so many things. I'm really inspired and motivated to overcome,

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Speaker 1: like because I know that, you know, nothing has come

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Speaker 1: super easy for me. Probably the one thing that I

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Speaker 1: am naturally good at. But the only thing is communication,

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Speaker 1: building rapport connection, which is not a bad thing to

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Speaker 1: be naturally that good at, right, But other than that,

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Speaker 1: you know, building businesses, academia, you know, creativity, writing books.

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Speaker 1: All of those things were definitely not impossible, but it's

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Speaker 1: not it's not like, oh yeah, crag, you just are

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Speaker 1: natural at that shit. And so for me, that underlying

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Speaker 1: self doubt, and that not even just self doubt, but

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Speaker 1: self awareness around my own ability and lack of ability

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Speaker 1: in certain spaces. It kind of kept me motivated and

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Speaker 1: inspired because I knew if if I didn't fucking work hard,

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Speaker 1: and if I wasn't resilient, and if I didn't have

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Speaker 1: some hardiness beautiful segue harps, if I didn't have that,

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't fucking succeed. I just knew that I wouldn't.

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Speaker 1: And so it's almost that cliche of out workout perform, outlast.

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Speaker 1: It's like, for me, literally true.

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Speaker 2: And when you're on your death bed, you're going to

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Speaker 2: be looking back and going that was a life that

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Speaker 2: I could be proud of.

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Speaker 1: Yeh.

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Speaker 2: It's much better than looking back and going, hey, that

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Speaker 2: was an easy life because I was so fucking talented.

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Speaker 1: M Well, congrats on the book, dude. Let's dive in.

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Speaker 1: Let's have a chat about all things related to that,

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Speaker 1: because it's not one thing, it's many things. And I

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Speaker 1: love I love that there's a lot of intersecting variables

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Speaker 1: around this and a lot of factors, and I love

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Speaker 1: that you've chosen something which is pretty much relevant to

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Speaker 1: every human you know, when I mean, sometimes I'm interviewing

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Speaker 1: someone about their book and it's like, well, six of

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Speaker 1: my listeners will to this because you know what it's

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Speaker 1: like really really specific and not not broadly kind of representative.

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Speaker 1: But this is broadly representative. So the book was called

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Speaker 1: The Hardiness Effect, Growth from Stress, Optimized Health, Live Longer.

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Speaker 1: Doctor Paul Taylor, congrats on that. Give us the synopsis,

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Speaker 1: give us like and then I want to dive in.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So resilience hardiness is a close cousin to resilience,

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Speaker 2: but there are distinct differences. Resilience is more of an outcome.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't tell you how to get there, whereas hardiness does.

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Speaker 2: And even in the if you look at the academic

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Speaker 2: literature when I was doing my literature review, so much

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Speaker 2: to be in an academic circles is resilience? Is it

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Speaker 2: a state? Is it a treit? Is it a process?

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Speaker 2: Is it an outcome? If? Is it something you're born with,

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Speaker 2: something you have, something you develop, and there's so much

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Speaker 2: to be at about it. Hardiness is it actually tells

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Speaker 2: you how to get there. It's called the courage to

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Speaker 2: grow from stress. So the early research, particularly in the

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Speaker 2: US military, there was a bunch of it by a

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Speaker 2: guy called Paul Bartone who was a bit of a

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Speaker 2: mentor of me in this area doing my PhD. He

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Speaker 2: when they screened recruits going into military training, they did

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Speaker 2: a whole heap of psychometric assessments on them. And the

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Speaker 2: one thing that they find at the end when they

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Speaker 2: saw who passed and who field, and they went back

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Speaker 2: and looked at it to say, was there anything predictive?

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Speaker 2: The one thing that was predictive of passing and field

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Speaker 2: was hardiness. They then found that hardiness predict who passed

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Speaker 2: and who field. Special Forces selection training the toughest course

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Speaker 2: you could possibly imagine that's been found in different militaries

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Speaker 2: around the world. It also predicts who passes police special operations.

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Speaker 2: It predicts career longevity and high pressure environments. This is

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Speaker 2: the military, police first responders. It's been called the greatest,

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Speaker 2: the trade, the key trade of fifty of the world's

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Speaker 2: greatest leaders. And it also impacts our health. People who

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Speaker 2: are hiring hardiness and have better overall well being. Their

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Speaker 2: immune systems respond better to stress, they recover quicker from

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Speaker 2: serious illness, and even school kids who are hiring hardiness

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Speaker 2: are much more likely to go to university than those

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Speaker 2: who are lower independent of socioeconomic status. So I love

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Speaker 2: it because there's so many real world outcomes. What I

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Speaker 2: added into it, and this was part of my PhD

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Speaker 2: as well, was physiological hardiness because all the research is

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Speaker 2: about psychology. But for me, as a psychophysiologist, I believe

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Speaker 2: anybody who tells you that you can optimize for mental

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Speaker 2: health and cognitive health just with thinking skills is fucking

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Speaker 2: batshit crazy because your physiology has this huge impact on

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Speaker 2: your biology. So part one of the group of the books, sorry,

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Speaker 2: it was all about psychological hardiness, where I unpack the

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Speaker 2: three c's and I've added a fourth. We can jump

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Speaker 2: into that if you want. And then the second part

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Speaker 2: of the book is all the physiological heartiness, and it

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Speaker 2: turns out that nature has actually designed certain things to

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Speaker 2: make us heartier, which I'm sure we'll unpark as we

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Speaker 2: go through.

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Speaker 1: It's funny because really, the only the only place in

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Speaker 1: inverted commas that psychology and emotion and even sociology, biology, physiology,

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Speaker 1: the only place they all operate in isolation is in

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Speaker 1: research exactly. It's like in the in the real fucking world.

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Speaker 1: All of that ship's intertwined and interconnected and interacting all

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Speaker 1: of the time. And when you probably say the same thing.

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Speaker 1: And I say that to you know, people in suits

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Speaker 1: as part of my job, and I say, even when,

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Speaker 1: and to demonstrate it, I say, you know, and you've

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Speaker 1: heard this old chestnut from me, and you probably use

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Speaker 1: a version of it. All Right, Let's say, right now,

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Speaker 1: you have a thought, and the thought right now is

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Speaker 1: that you're in danger. And let's say you believe that thought,

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Speaker 1: and then we talk about, you know, the cascade of

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Speaker 1: physiological consequences as a byproduct of that thought, right, And

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Speaker 1: then people go, oh yeah, And then I say, and

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Speaker 1: also what's happening emotionally, and what's happening to your blood

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Speaker 1: pressure and to your nervous system? And then and what's

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Speaker 1: happening you know, all of these things are happening, but

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Speaker 1: it happens kind of both ways too. Something happens to

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Speaker 1: us physically, then there's a psychological consequence to that physical experience,

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Speaker 1: and that Yeah, I think the idea that heartiness or

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Speaker 1: resilience or navigating life or trying to increase your capacity

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Speaker 1: to poor form under pressure is purely a psychological you

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Speaker 1: know process or cognitive process. Yeah, is as you said,

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Speaker 1: fucking ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's complete and utter horseshit. And I love what

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Speaker 2: you said. The only place that they exist separately in research,

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Speaker 2: and that is absolutely true. You know, anybody who's ever

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Speaker 2: been chronically stressed knows that it can affect their gut health,

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Speaker 2: they get irdable ball syndrome. It affects their mood as well.

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Speaker 2: But your physiology has a huge impact on your psychology,

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Speaker 2: absolutely huge, right. Your brian completely depends on the health

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Speaker 2: of your body in order for it to function well,

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Speaker 2: and the same with mood. And I always say to people,

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Speaker 2: if you know, we're in this mental health crisis as

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Speaker 2: they talk about and lots of people, you know, it's

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Speaker 2: all about the solutions are all about psychology or medication

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Speaker 2: any like, if you're not moving and you are not

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Speaker 2: looking after your sleep and you're eating your crappy diet,

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Speaker 2: which is the average Australian lifestyle, good luck with your

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Speaker 2: mental health because you are swimming up stream massively against

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Speaker 2: a huge tighte, right, a huge tighte. And you know,

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Speaker 2: part of but my sort of mission is to bring

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Speaker 2: that awareness to people, but also give them that integrated

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Speaker 2: solution of how they can improve their lives.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, I had a meeting yesday, which you have

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Speaker 1: these meetings all the time. So we've got to go

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Speaker 1: up to doesn't worry, it doesn't matter. I've got to

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Speaker 1: go in the state next week, and I can probably

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Speaker 1: say this bit. I've got to talk to a bunch

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Speaker 1: of lawyers, like a whole lot of lawyers, and we're

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Speaker 1: talking around the person, and I that we're chatting about

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Speaker 1: the event. We're talking about the issues and challenges, you know,

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Speaker 1: cultural practical, kind of all the dynamics within the organization.

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Speaker 1: Da da da da da. You know, we're talking about

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Speaker 1: all that stuff that needs to be in some way

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Speaker 1: kind of improved or addressed or spoken about. And I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: all of that's good, and we'll do that. We'll talk

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Speaker 1: about that. But how about we talk about like, let's

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Speaker 1: step back a few steps and let's talk about how's

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Speaker 1: Dave when he gets out of bed? Is David two

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Speaker 1: out of ten? Or is David nine out of ten?

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Speaker 1: You know? How's Sally? How's her nervous system when she

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Speaker 1: starts checking shit on her phone at four forty five

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Speaker 1: and she gets out of bed at five forty five,

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Speaker 1: and she's already fried she's already stressed. And I said,

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Speaker 1: you know, if we've got people who are mentally, emotionally

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Speaker 1: and physiologically fucked before they get to work, good luck

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Speaker 1: being a good communicator or problem solver or conflict resolver

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Speaker 1: or negotiator or team leader or lawyer or anything. Because

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Speaker 1: if you show.

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Speaker 3: Up whatever your job is, whether you're Paul Taylor and

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Speaker 3: you're about to do a full day fucking conference, if

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Speaker 3: Paul Taylor shows up at two out of ten, like

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Speaker 3: because you haven't slept and you've been eating shits and

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Speaker 3: you're like, you can't be a nine out of ten

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Speaker 3: or an eight out of ten you on stage. So

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Speaker 3: you need to manage you before you manage your tasks

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Speaker 3: or you manage your responsibilities.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and look, it does start with the morning. Actually,

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Speaker 2: it starts with the night before and all of your

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Speaker 2: preparation around your sleep, and then it's about the morning.

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Speaker 2: And as I said to these bunch of CEOs this

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Speaker 2: morning that we were dealing with was if you're if

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Speaker 2: you touch your phone before your feet hit the floor

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Speaker 2: in the morning, your life is fucked. And how many people.

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Speaker 1: I love it when you speak scientifically, but think about it,

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Speaker 1: how many people The first thing they do is they

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Speaker 1: check a goddamn phone, and it's just mental.

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Speaker 2: You're getting inputs, you're being switched on, You're upregulating your

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Speaker 2: nervous system before you even get out of bed. So,

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Speaker 2: as I was saying to these guys, how about we

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Speaker 2: wake up and we think, who do I want to

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Speaker 2: be today? You know, what what values and virtues do

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Speaker 2: I want to exhibit today? What challenges might I go

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Speaker 2: through today? How am I going to deal with this? Right?

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Speaker 2: And just do five minutes of mental preparation met just

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Speaker 2: like every world class athlete does before performance. How about

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Speaker 2: we start the day like that, right, and then we

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Speaker 2: continue today operating in peak performance mode. You know that's

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Speaker 2: that's really key. There's so many things that are out

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Speaker 2: there that steal our attention. And you know, me and

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Speaker 2: you were both involved in that DELFI study around the

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Speaker 2: cognitors drive cognitive drivers of peak performance. And I don't

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Speaker 2: know if you talk about that, but I actually realized

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Speaker 2: when you look look at that the number one thing

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Speaker 2: there was sixty four of us experts around the world,

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Speaker 2: or sixty two plus me and U squeezed in, but

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Speaker 2: all business psychologists and military psychologist, sports psychologists, and we

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Speaker 2: were all asked to rea it the cognitive drivers of

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Speaker 2: performance under pressure, and the thing that everybody said was

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Speaker 2: number one was attentional control. And our attention is being

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Speaker 2: stolen left, right and center, and then it drags our

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Speaker 2: nervous system with it. That's the key thing.

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Speaker 1: If it's got your attention, it's got you. It's got you,

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Speaker 1: it's got your body, it's got your nervous system, it's

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Speaker 1: got your time. Yeah, that's I say to people. You

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Speaker 1: and I have very similar processes. You know, when I

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Speaker 1: get up each morning, I essentially ask my well, I

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Speaker 1: get out of bed, I don't look at my phone.

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Speaker 1: I get out of bed, I walk to the I

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Speaker 1: do what I need to do, clem Mattie, splash my face,

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Speaker 1: walk to the cafe. And I literally asked myself this

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Speaker 1: question or a version is that is, in terms of

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Speaker 1: who I want to be, how I want to be,

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Speaker 1: and what I need to get done today, what's the

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Speaker 1: best use of my time, energy, and attention, Like, what's

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Speaker 1: the optimal use of me? You know, because it is

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Speaker 1: you think about people whose brain or attention is hijacked

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Speaker 1: by their phone and the people who you are, you know,

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Speaker 1: talking about whose list. Fucks they're looking at their phone

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Speaker 1: before their feet hit the ground. They're almost doing if not,

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Speaker 1: they are doing that on autopilot, like they don't wake

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Speaker 1: up and go, you know what I think I should do.

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Speaker 1: I should reach from my phone, I'll grab my phone,

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Speaker 1: I'll have it, Like they're just doing that before their

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Speaker 1: brain is really like this is this is an addiction,

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Speaker 1: This is a this is a groundhog day that is destructive, Like,

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Speaker 1: this is a this is now a habit that's actually

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Speaker 1: derailing your fucking everything from your potential and talent to

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Speaker 1: your energy and your physical health.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and is it's it's a key part of heidiness.

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Speaker 2: It's commitment to orientation, which is being fully engaged. High

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Speaker 2: heiding people are fully engaged at life. They're engaged that work,

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Speaker 2: but they're also engaged in their free time. They're fully engaged.

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Speaker 2: And as I say, there are an increasing amount of

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Speaker 2: people who are spending an increasing amount of their spur

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Speaker 2: time with their heads buried on a fucking screen looking

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Speaker 2: to be entertained, whether it's on social media or on

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Speaker 2: Netflix or whatever your streaming platform is. And I don't

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Speaker 2: remember Aristotle or Socrates or the Buddha saying that the

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Speaker 2: purpose in life is to be entertained. Right. It's about

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Speaker 2: being engaged in life, being curious about life, right, and

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Speaker 2: actually just wanting to immerse yourself in it. And it's

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Speaker 2: also you know, commitment orientation. When you're fully engaged in life,

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Speaker 2: that's when you can find a sense of purpose and meaning.

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Speaker 2: And life has no meaning other than what we give it.

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Speaker 2: That's the key thing, right, there's no fucking purpose. Very

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Speaker 2: it's going to come along and show you what your

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Speaker 2: purpose is. We actually have to find it through meaningful

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Speaker 2: engagement in life, and that's hugely important, and that's commitment orientation,

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Speaker 2: but also then being committed to your own well being.

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Speaker 2: I'll tell you a quote that I show today, I

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Speaker 2: show all the time, so I say, my favorite quote.

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Speaker 2: It's from Seneca, and it's kind of paraphrasing his stuff, right,

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Speaker 2: But here's what it is. Every individual burs the responsibility

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Speaker 2: to be of value to humanity, if possible, to benefit

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Speaker 2: a large number, if not, to benefit a smaller group,

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Speaker 2: If that too seems unattainable, then to benefit their immediate community.

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Speaker 2: But above all else, they must prioritize self growth and

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Speaker 2: personal well being. And I love that statement because it

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Speaker 2: encapsulates everything about hardiness. It encapsulates that sense of meaning

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Speaker 2: and purpose, but gives people a clear path that it's

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Speaker 2: about engagement with others, it's about being useful to your community,

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Speaker 2: about being a member of a tribe. All the research

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Speaker 2: and human flourishing points as this where and you will

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Speaker 2: know that. But then it's about being committed to your

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Speaker 2: well being because if you look after yourself, you're going

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Speaker 2: to be much more effective at whatever your meaning and

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Speaker 2: purpose is. If it's to be the best mom or

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Speaker 2: dad that you can be, if you short your shit out,

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Speaker 2: you will be a much better parent. Right, Seemen work

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Speaker 2: all of those things, and that really encapsulates hardiness. Commitment,

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Speaker 2: which is one of the key season hardiness.

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Speaker 1: So I've got a few questions. Here's my first one.

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Speaker 1: You've never been asked this question. I'm going to ask

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Speaker 1: you this question. I want you to finish this sentence.

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Speaker 1: Hardiness is the antidote to what.

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Speaker 2: All of the distractions and stressors of modern life and

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Speaker 2: the inevitable shit sandwiches that you will have to fierce.

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Speaker 1: Again, folks, science, you heard it here. Science. He's a doctor.

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Speaker 1: He's a doctor. Now, all right, beautiful I love that.

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Speaker 1: I thought I would get something like that, beautiful. I

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Speaker 1: want you to you kind of did it before. But

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Speaker 1: just as we are finding our kind of feet of

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Speaker 1: understanding in this space of trying to differentiate between resilience

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Speaker 1: and hardiness and all of that, just give us a definition.

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Speaker 1: It can be appalled definition. It doesn't need to be official.

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Speaker 1: A definition of hardiness versus a definition of resilience. And

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Speaker 1: what's the overlap and what's the difference.

430
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:40,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, so resilience is an outcome. It doesn't tell you

431
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 2: how to get there. Hardiness does. Resilience is backwards looking,

432
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 2: hardiness is forwards looking. So hardiness is about a say,

433
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:56,239
Speaker 2: set of psychological orientations that help you to prepare and

434
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 2: deal with stress and grow from stress in and of

435
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 2: the moment, whereas resilience is about picking yourself up when

436
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:08,480
Speaker 2: you've been battered. Right. So there's a distinct difference between

437
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 2: the two. But there is an overlap as well. And

438
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:17,160
Speaker 2: this and and here's the other thing. Hardiness can be learned,

439
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 2: whereas resilience is a lot harder to learn. That that's

440
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:25,480
Speaker 2: the key thing. A lot of things will say resilience

441
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 2: is is is a is a treit it's something you have,

442
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:30,680
Speaker 2: and the other people are arguing, is it a state,

443
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:34,200
Speaker 2: is it something you do? All of this, but hardiness

444
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 2: is very clearly a process, a set of psychological orientations

445
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 2: that anybody can learn. So I often have people in

446
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 2: workshops create their own personal tombstone statement in three minutes flat,

447
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 2: and I give them a few little a few little prompts,

448
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:58,640
Speaker 2: but get them to create a tombstone statement, something which

449
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 2: they would like to be remembered for that sums up

450
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:05,199
Speaker 2: their commitment. And I often talk about mine. I talk

451
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 2: about it in the book, and it happened. The trigger

452
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 2: for this was eight friends of mine getting killed in

453
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,639
Speaker 2: a helicopter crash two of my best meets, and I

454
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:15,360
Speaker 2: was pretty lucky not to be in one of those helicopters.

455
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,800
Speaker 2: And anyway, through a series of events, I ended up

456
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,200
Speaker 2: deciding to leave the military and go down this path.

457
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 2: And so my tombstone statement is military man turned educator

458
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 2: to help others be better versions of themselves. So I

459
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:32,480
Speaker 2: encourage everybody to write a tombstone statement about how you

460
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 2: would like to be remembered and what your contribution would be,

461
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:38,439
Speaker 2: and remembering what Seneca said, you know, it can be

462
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,879
Speaker 2: many people. It can be a small group or it

463
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:44,119
Speaker 2: can be just your immediate community. So it can be

464
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 2: about being the best mom or dad, or son or

465
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:50,000
Speaker 2: daughter whatever that you can be. But once you've written

466
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:53,080
Speaker 2: down a rough draft, I like to get people to

467
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:58,240
Speaker 2: spend ten minutes a day deliberately acting on that purpose,

468
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:02,480
Speaker 2: because then your attention is on it, and then you

469
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 2: start to become more aware of it, you start to

470
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,080
Speaker 2: think about it more, and it starts to develop. So

471
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 2: you don't need perfect, don't let don't let perfect be

472
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,200
Speaker 2: the enemy of goot. You know, just get some sort

473
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 2: of a tombstone statement dying, spend ten minutes a day

474
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,200
Speaker 2: working on it, and it will start to become clearer

475
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:21,159
Speaker 2: and clearer as you go.

476
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:27,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so interesting how how much we invest into

477
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,120
Speaker 1: you know, our career or you know, make and dough,

478
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,439
Speaker 1: not that they're bad things or you know whatever. Whatever

479
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:38,280
Speaker 1: It is like time, effort, energy, focus, attention on external things,

480
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 1: but not really I'm building ourselves. You know. It's like,

481
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 1: how much time do I spend like trying to be

482
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 1: to build, you know, to develop hard in us or

483
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 1: to be developed, in my instance, self awareness, or to

484
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 1: even think about my fucking thinking that metacognitive door that

485
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 1: I like opening, or more specific than my research, trying

486
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 1: to understand how other people think one and two how

487
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:06,600
Speaker 1: they think about me. Like these kind of internal processes

488
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 1: that really make life, communication, problem solving, teaching, leading better,

489
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 1: we don't really. I feel like, despite all of the

490
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: psychology and all of the research and all of the

491
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 1: for one of a better term, self help personal development,

492
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:25,800
Speaker 1: we still don't truly work on ourselves much. And we

493
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 1: kind of you know, you, if you meet Dave today

494
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 1: and then you see Dave in ten years, even if

495
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 1: there's a whole bunch of shit that Dave wants to

496
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 1: change and needs to change today, a fair chance is

497
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 1: just going to be a ten year old version of

498
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 1: the same bloke in ten years, unless I feel like,

499
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 1: unless there's some kind of almost fucking revolutional internal revelation

500
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 1: that switches something.

501
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 2: Do you know what I would do if I was

502
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:58,720
Speaker 2: tizarre of the universe? I would make every man, woman

503
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 2: and child do one hour a week of a deep

504
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 2: dive into philosophy. Yeah, and the Stoics used to say

505
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:13,480
Speaker 2: that philosophy is the doctor's office for the mind, and

506
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 2: it is. It's all of that stuff about thinking, who

507
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:20,280
Speaker 2: am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose? All

508
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 2: of that? And and it's through an exploration of philosophy,

509
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 2: which I kind of started when I was a teenager

510
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:30,000
Speaker 2: and then dropped and ain't got back into it. But

511
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 2: but that's the stuff where you do create meaning and

512
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 2: purpose in life with those philosophical questions. And there's a

513
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 2: there's a brilliant book that I actually got and that

514
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 2: we were then sitting with our kids at dinner and

515
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 2: would read it. I think it's called thirty second Philosophy,

516
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 2: and it's basically taken some of the big philosophical thinking

517
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 2: and having a story in a way that that that

518
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 2: everybody can understand, and then imposing some questions. And actually,

519
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 2: my you know what, I knew that this was all

520
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 2: worth it. So my daughter Kira made it's going to

521
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 2: blow your mind. She's at UNI. She's at Melbourne UNI.

522
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 2: Now you remember her when she was a little baby,

523
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:15,360
Speaker 2: So she is. She's studying biomedicine at UNI. And she

524
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 2: was to take a broadening subject this year and she

525
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:21,040
Speaker 2: came back and said, I'm studying philosophy as a broaden

526
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:22,640
Speaker 2: I'm like that.

527
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,640
Speaker 1: Did you share a tea? Stoic shared a tea.

528
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 2: I did a little bit. And that's that's the misunderstand

529
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 2: that's this little stoic stuff. Upper lip a big stoic.

530
00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 2: The Stoics they actually had emotions and and and they

531
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 2: explored their emotions, but they just they just said, don't

532
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 2: be a slave to your emotions. Don't be a slave

533
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 2: to the passions.

534
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is a misconception. I think that like people correlate, Oh,

535
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 1: they go, oh, he's very stoic. He's standing there with

536
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 1: a stern face at the funeral, not shitting a tea

537
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 1: and being a fucking pillar of strength. I'm like, nah,

538
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 1: that's not stoic.

539
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 2: That's that's little s stoic. It's different to capitalists, which

540
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:12,239
Speaker 2: describes the Stoic philosophers. So yes, it's a it's a

541
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 2: complete misunderstanding.

542
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 1: Is is hardiness? Can we measure it? Can we have

543
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 1: value at it?

544
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 2: We can? We can? Yeah, and I did. There was

545
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 2: a number of validated tools. I used one in my

546
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 2: research and so we recently my last published paper for

547
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 2: part of my PhD, we did an intervention in New

548
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 2: Zealand with two different companies, one law firm, the other

549
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 2: was a fast pierced startup. So these guys are all

550
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 2: massively under pressure. We did a survey on hardiness. We

551
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 2: used the Hardiness Resilience Gage, we used a brief resilience scale,

552
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 2: the WHO five on mental well being, and we did

553
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 2: a gratitude survey. And we also did cognitive testing that

554
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 2: was thelloped in at Britain Park where you're doing your PhD.

555
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 2: And so these cognitive assessments were part of the whole

556
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 2: cognitive fitness program that measure performance under pressure. And what

557
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 2: we found is statistically significant improvements in hardiness, in resilience,

558
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 2: in mood, in gratitude, in perceptions of stress, in inhibitory control,

559
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 2: and attentional control. The only one that didn't move the

560
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 2: needle on was working memory, and we think probably because

561
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:37,880
Speaker 2: that takes longer to change. So and the research shows

562
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,959
Speaker 2: that hardiness can actually be learned. And that's why I

563
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 2: love it because there's that clear process. And this is

564
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 2: what I explore in the book. You know, the four

565
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 2: season things that you can do to enhance your level

566
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 2: amongst all of those things.

567
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:56,080
Speaker 1: Do you think, sorry, I'm jumping around a little bit,

568
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:59,120
Speaker 1: but as you're talking about you know what largely what

569
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:04,080
Speaker 1: is and in well correlates with an internal state like mindset,

570
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:08,319
Speaker 1: and do you think living in twenty twenty five when

571
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 1: there's an overwhelm of drugs to treat every emotional and

572
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:20,840
Speaker 1: psychological conditional issue. But we know not, we think, But

573
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:25,160
Speaker 1: we know that you know, changing diet, We know that exercise,

574
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:28,320
Speaker 1: certain kinds of exercise at certain levels. We know that sleep,

575
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,720
Speaker 1: We know that lifestyle. We know that being around people

576
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 1: that you love, the way that we socialize. We know

577
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 1: that lying on the floor with your fucking golden retriever,

578
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:39,000
Speaker 1: if you love a golden retriever. We know that all

579
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:42,280
Speaker 1: of these things can change what's going on in our body.

580
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 1: But it seems are the breaks coming on a little bit?

581
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:51,000
Speaker 1: Do you think with this over medication of fucking throwing

582
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:54,400
Speaker 1: pills at everything, like, are we starting to learn that

583
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 1: lifestyle and exercise and food and movement and who we

584
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:03,600
Speaker 1: hug or don't hug is as powerful or more powerful

585
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:04,240
Speaker 1: than drugs.

586
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,400
Speaker 2: Look, I write about this quite a lot in the book.

587
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:12,400
Speaker 2: I give alternative prescriptions for mental health. But I start

588
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:18,920
Speaker 2: the book with, you know, probably the greatest philosophical story

589
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:22,800
Speaker 2: that one of Hercules who and this is the Greek version,

590
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 2: So Hercules are Heracles in the Greek, but let's just

591
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,759
Speaker 2: go with the Roman. Hercules comes to a fork in

592
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:33,280
Speaker 2: the road and he sees two women, one on each fork,

593
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,440
Speaker 2: and the first woman approaches him and tells him that

594
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 2: her name is judate Mania, which is is true happiness,

595
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:43,839
Speaker 2: but her name is actually Kakia, which is vice. And

596
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:47,040
Speaker 2: he says to him, come this way, you will have

597
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:50,400
Speaker 2: an easy life. You will have a life of all

598
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,920
Speaker 2: of the comforts and indulgences and and all of that

599
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 2: will be the expense of others, and it will be

600
00:35:56,800 --> 00:36:02,400
Speaker 2: such a good, enjoyable life. And then then Araty that

601
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,879
Speaker 2: that basically translates his character, approaches him, and she's much

602
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 2: plainer looking, but has this natural beauty, and she says, well,

603
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 2: if you follow my path, this is the path to

604
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 2: true happiness. But it is the hard path. You will

605
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:20,760
Speaker 2: have to undergo severe challenges that will test and develop

606
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 2: your character. But all and this is not easy, but

607
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 2: ultimately this is the true path to fulfillment. And Hercules,

608
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 2: as we all know, chooses the hard path of arity

609
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:37,920
Speaker 2: and has to go through the twelve trials of Hercules,

610
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:41,800
Speaker 2: and eventually he gets killed. But Zeus is the the

611
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 2: the ultimate god, is so impressed with his character that

612
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 2: he deifies him right, he makes them, he makes him

613
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 2: a demigod because of what he's actually done. And I

614
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 2: think we are not at a crossroads. That that is

615
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:56,080
Speaker 2: how I set up the book. We are at the

616
00:36:56,160 --> 00:37:01,719
Speaker 2: crossroads where we have comfort all around us. We have

617
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:05,000
Speaker 2: food at the tip of our fingertips, we don't have

618
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 2: to move, we don't have to go through physical discomfort.

619
00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:11,239
Speaker 2: We're in climate controlled environments. And if you've got an issue,

620
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 2: where we have a pill for that, and it's the

621
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 2: path of Kakia. It's the easy path that seems to

622
00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:22,680
Speaker 2: be the path that we should go down, but ultimately

623
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:28,239
Speaker 2: the true path is taking the path of ouritay and

624
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 2: taking the path where you deliberately actually encounter hardships and

625
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:39,200
Speaker 2: you approach them with the right character. And that's the

626
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 2: stuff that drives you on and gives you a life

627
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 2: that you could be proud of.

628
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:44,439
Speaker 1: And I actually talk.

629
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:46,879
Speaker 2: About the book, you know, when you mentioned that, I said, hey, well,

630
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:49,719
Speaker 2: you know your end of your life. You're looking back

631
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 2: in your life, what do you want to say that

632
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:55,080
Speaker 2: was an easy life, a life of comfort or jeez,

633
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:56,520
Speaker 2: that was hard, but that was a life that I

634
00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:59,440
Speaker 2: could be proud of I fascinate the people. I read

635
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 2: the end of chapter. If you want the former, throw

636
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:04,600
Speaker 2: this book away because it's not for you.

637
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, And it's funny. I feel like your

638
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,759
Speaker 1: message in my message with many things anyway, you know

639
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:15,480
Speaker 1: that parallel And I often say to an audience, I

640
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 1: can tell you what you want to hear or what

641
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,959
Speaker 1: you need to hear. What do you prefer like, I can.

642
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,759
Speaker 1: I can be fucking hilarious and Mormon fuzzy and tell

643
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:25,799
Speaker 1: you you're all ace but you're not right. Yeah, and

644
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:28,319
Speaker 1: I can. I can. We can just have this delusional

645
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 1: kind of experience for an hour, or I can tell

646
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,439
Speaker 1: you shit that will actually if you do the work

647
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 1: and if you apply the information, potentially change what's going

648
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,799
Speaker 1: on in your life now and forever. But you might

649
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:43,799
Speaker 1: not love it. You might not love the presentation, you know.

650
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:46,319
Speaker 1: And then and it's it's a bit of a it's

651
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:50,160
Speaker 1: complicated because they're like, well, you know, and of course

652
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:53,839
Speaker 1: they normally choose the latter, but it's that, you know,

653
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 1: that that obsession that we seem to have. And I'm

654
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 1: using the global w and of course listeners, this is

655
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 1: not everyone. It may not be you. But the addiction

656
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:10,680
Speaker 1: that we have to instant gratification, and whether that's whatever, drugs, booze, food, sex, comfort,

657
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:15,000
Speaker 1: you know, lying down whatever it is, like, what is

658
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:19,760
Speaker 1: the apart from telling me delaying gratification, what's the antidote

659
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:25,239
Speaker 1: to instant gratification? Because it feels like, and I'll shut

660
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:27,960
Speaker 1: up after this. It feels like where many of us

661
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:32,080
Speaker 1: anyway are perpetually starting on Monday. Right it's not yeah,

662
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 1: but it's because we love saying look not now for

663
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 1: these reasons. And the reasons generally are not reasons by

664
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:41,799
Speaker 1: the way their excuses dressed up as reasons. But we

665
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:45,400
Speaker 1: always have this listen Monday or you know a similar

666
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:47,680
Speaker 1: version of Monday, because and then we wake up and

667
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:49,800
Speaker 1: it's fucking two thousand and thirty.

668
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 2: Yeah. Look, I think the key to understand here is

669
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 2: that we are wired to go down the path of

670
00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:02,320
Speaker 2: Kakia because if you think of our our evolutionary history,

671
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:06,920
Speaker 2: you know, as cavan, as hunter gatherers, life was fucking hard.

672
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:11,040
Speaker 2: So we have all of these things in our you

673
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 2: know that to activate our brain that give us those

674
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 2: dopamine hits, right, you know, the social interaction with people

675
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 2: sitting around the campfire right, which has now been hijacked

676
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:24,440
Speaker 2: by social media. Right, the eating of food, the tasting

677
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:28,360
Speaker 2: of honey or fat, right, is actually rewarding. It's the

678
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 2: neurobiology of preference because fat is energy dense, honey is

679
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 2: is quick, glue, quick sugar. Right, it's good, good for

680
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 2: you in the in nature, but that has been hijacked

681
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:44,520
Speaker 2: by these food companies and ultra processed foods that give

682
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 2: our brains a hit of dopamine that we were never

683
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,919
Speaker 2: designed to hold, right. And and all of these, all

684
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 2: of the recreational drugs, they all act on neurotransmitters in

685
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:56,719
Speaker 2: the brain. If we didn't have the neurotransmitter, if we

686
00:40:56,760 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 2: didn't have an opioid receptor, heroin would do call for you, right,

687
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:06,319
Speaker 2: If we didn't have a serotonin receptor, Ecstasy wouldn't feel good.

688
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:09,759
Speaker 2: If we didn't have dopamine receptors, Cocaine wouldn't feel good. Right.

689
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,200
Speaker 2: So we have all of these things that have been

690
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:16,400
Speaker 2: created on our environment that hijack these natural systems that

691
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:21,400
Speaker 2: motivate us to do stuff. And so what we've got

692
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:25,440
Speaker 2: to do for me really is making that choice about

693
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 2: what path we go down, and choosing the hard path

694
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:32,799
Speaker 2: and that really that brings us into challenge orientation. Right.

695
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:37,799
Speaker 2: So challenge orientation is people high in hardiness challenge they

696
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 2: view both change and adversity as opportunities for them to

697
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 2: grow and develop, right, Whereas people low in heartiness challenge

698
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 2: actually view these things as things to shy away from

699
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,799
Speaker 2: and they get in a threat response. So and let me,

700
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,799
Speaker 2: let me explain how this works for people. So it's said, great,

701
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:57,880
Speaker 2: let's sake me and you are presented with the same

702
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 2: potential stress or don't matter what that is if you

703
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:04,839
Speaker 2: view it as a challenge and I view it as

704
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:08,360
Speaker 2: a threat, and this happens instantaneously in your brain very quickly,

705
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:10,360
Speaker 2: you make a decision whether this is a challenge or

706
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 2: a threat. With you viewing it as a challenge, you

707
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 2: go into what we call approach mode in psychology. So you know,

708
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:19,120
Speaker 2: you know about for our listeners, this is you lean in.

709
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:23,719
Speaker 2: You're motivated to actually engage with me with threat. I'm

710
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:28,040
Speaker 2: in the runaway mode, the flight part of fighter flight.

711
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:32,879
Speaker 2: You're in fight part. I'm in flight or freeze. I procrastinate,

712
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:35,080
Speaker 2: I delay, I bury my head in the sand, I

713
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:38,960
Speaker 2: run away, I avoid. We go to avoidance mode and

714
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:43,480
Speaker 2: then with the physiology, with a challenge response, you activate

715
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:47,560
Speaker 2: Mark series showed this at Buffalo University. You activate the

716
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:52,360
Speaker 2: sympathetic adrenal modulary access the fight part of the fighter

717
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:55,880
Speaker 2: flight which involves the chemicals adrenaline and no adrenaline. That

718
00:42:56,000 --> 00:43:00,600
Speaker 2: means that your cardiovascular system prepares for action. Your blood

719
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 2: vessels dilate, blood flow gets more, it's more, cardiac output increases,

720
00:43:06,239 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 2: oxygen uptake increases. It prepars your body to deal with things.

721
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:14,760
Speaker 2: Whereas may with a threat response, I go into HPI axis,

722
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:17,959
Speaker 2: Cordisole comes over the top. That means that my blood

723
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:22,319
Speaker 2: vessels become constricted. Blood flow is less, blood flow to

724
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 2: the brain is less. We go in, I go into

725
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:28,239
Speaker 2: shutdown mode. Now, the half life of those chemicals are

726
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:31,279
Speaker 2: very different. Adrenaline a new adrenaline. The half life is

727
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:34,439
Speaker 2: one to two minutes, and within about four half lives

728
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:37,840
Speaker 2: that chemical is back to base level. So within five

729
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 2: minutes of this stressor you are back to homeostasis. Cordisole

730
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 2: has a half life of about an hour an hour

731
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 2: and a half. That means that five hours later, I

732
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 2: still have significant amount of stress hormones running through my

733
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:56,319
Speaker 2: body attacking my organs impacting upon my brain, affecting my

734
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,839
Speaker 2: ability to get to sleep right. These are the people

735
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:01,680
Speaker 2: who go to bed in their brain on fire. So

736
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:07,359
Speaker 2: and that's that can be a choice though, that challenge orientation. Yes,

737
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 2: and I'll give you I'll give you an example. So

738
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:12,719
Speaker 2: you know some of the listeners who knows know that.

739
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 2: Last year I went to see a made a Man

740
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:18,600
Speaker 2: of carreologist just to get a check up on my health.

741
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:21,879
Speaker 2: Came in to get the results. He said, Hey, good news,

742
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 2: your feller's a fiddle. Bad news. You were born with

743
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:27,360
Speaker 2: a dodgy aortic valve and you need open heart surgery.

744
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 2: At some stage, I remember walking out of there and

745
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:34,520
Speaker 2: the words of Seneca hit me like a slap across

746
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:37,879
Speaker 2: the face. I pitied the man who has not faced adversity,

747
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:41,520
Speaker 2: because he has not faced a worthy opponent, and no one,

748
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 2: not even him, knows what he is capable of. So

749
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:49,239
Speaker 2: in that moment, I choose to And because I've learned

750
00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:52,000
Speaker 2: this from reading all the hardiness research, reading Victor Frankel,

751
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 2: reading the Stoics, we don't get to choose our circumstances,

752
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:58,279
Speaker 2: but we always get to choose how we respond. Now

753
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 2: I embraced my open hearts as a worthy opponent, something

754
00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 2: that would test and develop me. And I knew I

755
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,080
Speaker 2: have six months to prepare myself for my worthy opponent,

756
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:13,960
Speaker 2: and I actually embraced the open heart surgery, fully embraced

757
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:17,000
Speaker 2: it as a challenge to actually make me better and

758
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:21,320
Speaker 2: make me optimal. And we all have the opportunity about

759
00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 2: how we choose to face adversity and challenge. I was

760
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:27,919
Speaker 2: talking to Aunt Middleton the other day, you know Aunt

761
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:30,480
Speaker 2: Middleton from says You're tough enough. It was on his

762
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 2: podcast and we were talking about this thing about life

763
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:37,279
Speaker 2: and we have very similar views but slightly different. So

764
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:40,880
Speaker 2: for him, everything in life is a game. It's always

765
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 2: a game, and the challenge comes up. This is a game,

766
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:46,680
Speaker 2: right I because I've been influenced by the stoic life

767
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,799
Speaker 2: is a contest and Epiciteta says, the Olympic Games are

768
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:52,759
Speaker 2: upon us. There is no time to waste, and so

769
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 2: you've got to be in the fucking contest. That's the thing, right,

770
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:02,680
Speaker 2: And you've got to welcome adversity that comes up, because

771
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:05,239
Speaker 2: it's just a shit sandwich from the universe, and you

772
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 2: can play the victim and moesmy or you can go, Okay,

773
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:12,560
Speaker 2: this is a test, right, Yes, it's the Olympic Games

774
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:14,680
Speaker 2: of life. What am I going to do about this?

775
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:19,640
Speaker 2: And that leaning in and viewing as a challenge means

776
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:23,719
Speaker 2: that you're much more likely, number one, to engage and

777
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 2: be proactive about it. But secondly, it massively changes your

778
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:34,360
Speaker 2: physiology hugely. So someone is constantly in threat mode, they're

779
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:37,600
Speaker 2: just they've got corse all coursing around their friggin body.

780
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 2: And this sorry, it's great just to add on this,

781
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:43,799
Speaker 2: to expand on it. This is where I think we're

782
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 2: going wrong because in schools they talk way too much

783
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:52,320
Speaker 2: about mental health conditions, and they're making all the kids

784
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:55,759
Speaker 2: aware of what anxiety is and what depression is, and

785
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:58,879
Speaker 2: the research is showing that it's making kids mental health

786
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:04,360
Speaker 2: worse because it's suggestible, oh fuck, maybe I do have anxiety,

787
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 2: maybe I do have to pressure. And then their social

788
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:12,640
Speaker 2: development stuff is about peers and acceptance. And so if

789
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:15,000
Speaker 2: I'm a group of friends and some of them have anxiety,

790
00:47:15,719 --> 00:47:17,879
Speaker 2: oh I want to have anxiety so that I can

791
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:21,640
Speaker 2: fit in. And this this is this is evidence, bas

792
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:24,480
Speaker 2: this is this is not me, This is evidence, bast

793
00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:30,520
Speaker 2: So what happens is that because this is the unintended

794
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:35,440
Speaker 2: consequence of well intentioned interventions. Right, and in the workplace,

795
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:39,480
Speaker 2: there's so much talk about psychological safety. Amy Edmundson created

796
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 2: psychological safety. Psychological safety is not about the right not

797
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:48,440
Speaker 2: to be fucking offended. That's horseshit. Psychological safety is feeling

798
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:52,760
Speaker 2: that I can speak up and give my views without

799
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:56,440
Speaker 2: fear of reprisal. Right, It's not that I feel a

800
00:47:56,480 --> 00:48:03,240
Speaker 2: little bit off today. I'm on because somebody's spoken badly

801
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 2: to me, So I'm going to have a fucking day off.

802
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:08,640
Speaker 2: That's not what it's about. So we have gone and

803
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:12,960
Speaker 2: again well intentioned, but we've gone too far, and everything

804
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:15,400
Speaker 2: is threat threat threat threat threat out there.

805
00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 1: And we got in the words, in the words of

806
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:25,680
Speaker 1: that great academic Ricky Gervais, your feelings are not my responsibility.

807
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 2: Absolutely, you know that, Like like, so you offended? Fucking

808
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:34,319
Speaker 2: so what? Yeah? Right, all right? And you know the

809
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:40,040
Speaker 2: universe things that we're guaranteed three things, death taxes, ship

810
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:41,360
Speaker 2: chandwiches from the universe.

811
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is that is all right. We've got you've

812
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 1: got an appointment in seven minutes, so have I quick? Okay,

813
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 1: so quick? Why do we wait for shit to fall apart.

814
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 1: I know we don't all, but it seems like we

815
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:00,279
Speaker 1: wait till shit implodes and then we go off. Then

816
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:02,799
Speaker 1: we have a revelation, then we might In other words,

817
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:05,719
Speaker 1: why are we so reactive? Is it because being proactive

818
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:06,240
Speaker 1: is hard?

819
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:08,799
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I think it is. I think it is

820
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:13,000
Speaker 2: that being proactive is hard. And again, hunter gatherer stuff.

821
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:16,000
Speaker 2: We are programmed to want the easy path. And that's

822
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:18,920
Speaker 2: fine if your life is really hard, like a hunter gatherer,

823
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:22,720
Speaker 2: but if it's not that hard, and then it becomes

824
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:28,080
Speaker 2: a problem. And I think people, we have so many

825
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:31,359
Speaker 2: things out there that are are lovely, right, and all

826
00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:34,920
Speaker 2: the food and the drugs and stuff, it's stuff that

827
00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:40,080
Speaker 2: gives that hijacks our brains. It's not the reward we're

828
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:44,360
Speaker 2: meant to have. And so I feel a huge amount

829
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:47,000
Speaker 2: of sympathy for people who are like that. We now

830
00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:52,400
Speaker 2: have to definitely choose the hard path, right, and we

831
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 2: have to have this also, I'll throw in the last one,

832
00:49:55,480 --> 00:50:00,959
Speaker 2: the control orientation, which is a deep belief that I

833
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:05,319
Speaker 2: control or heavily influence my environment and my destiny. And

834
00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:09,319
Speaker 2: I focus on what I can control and don't put

835
00:50:09,320 --> 00:50:12,160
Speaker 2: my energy in the stuff that I can't control and

836
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 2: look for me, it's that whole existential crisis, right. And

837
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:20,360
Speaker 2: you know, I'm not religious at all, but I actually

838
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:23,560
Speaker 2: think society has suffered from the breakdown of religion because

839
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:27,400
Speaker 2: religion give people a set of values and behaviors and

840
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 2: a group to connect in with U and ways to

841
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:37,120
Speaker 2: actually behave and integrate. And now without that, lots of

842
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:40,400
Speaker 2: people are in an existential vacuum where they don't have

843
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:42,719
Speaker 2: that sense of meaning and purpose. They've never actually sat

844
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:46,080
Speaker 2: down and gone, fuck, what are my values? Right? What

845
00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 2: are the key things that I want to live my

846
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 2: life by? What's my compass? So for me, you know,

847
00:50:55,480 --> 00:51:02,840
Speaker 2: they're things like like curiosity, gratitude, equanimity, and also just

848
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 2: wanting to test myself. And so when you have that,

849
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:09,840
Speaker 2: authenticity is another one of mine. So this is the

850
00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:12,120
Speaker 2: reason you know I'm irison ex military. I like a

851
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:14,520
Speaker 2: tipple as much as anybody else. The reason I'm not

852
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:19,960
Speaker 2: an absolute piss head is the value of authenticity because

853
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:23,080
Speaker 2: I can't stand up and talk about peak performance if

854
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:26,000
Speaker 2: I'm drinking four or five nights a week, right, So

855
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:30,560
Speaker 2: we have to really find out what are our core values,

856
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 2: what's our meaning and purpose in life, because that becomes

857
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:36,759
Speaker 2: the north star to guide us around behaviors and to

858
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 2: help us to make the harder choices in life.

859
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:44,960
Speaker 1: Love you, and I've got so much stuff I want

860
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:46,319
Speaker 1: to talk to you about. We might have to do

861
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:49,360
Speaker 1: another one. I just I have so many things to

862
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:51,520
Speaker 1: talk to you about which I think are relevant and interesting.

863
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:54,040
Speaker 1: But I'm going to finish with this and then we're

864
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:57,439
Speaker 1: going to plug the book. Here's one of the bits

865
00:51:57,440 --> 00:52:01,080
Speaker 1: of feedback. I get this is going to sound stupid,

866
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:04,560
Speaker 1: but I'm not lying people. Many people have said to

867
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 1: me a version of this. It's easy for you. You're

868
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:12,879
Speaker 1: Craig Harper like to do right. It's easy for you right.

869
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:15,360
Speaker 1: And I feel like some people would listen to you

870
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:18,360
Speaker 1: and go, well, he's a fucking genius. He's smart, he's articulate,

871
00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:21,399
Speaker 1: he's a weapon, he's got this background that he's all

872
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:24,680
Speaker 1: these things. I'm not that I'm a pile of shit

873
00:52:25,239 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 1: with no fucking potential and no you know, and not

874
00:52:28,080 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 1: that any of our listeners are. But I know that

875
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:33,719
Speaker 1: people feel like that. I feel like it's easy to

876
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:36,560
Speaker 1: listen to podcasts. I feel this, but I also know

877
00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:41,600
Speaker 1: this because I get told and it's almost overwhelming, Like,

878
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:44,319
Speaker 1: where do I start? So somebody's listening to this, I

879
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:46,880
Speaker 1: would suggest probably lots of people are listening to this,

880
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:53,160
Speaker 1: and they go, Craig Paul, all makes sense. Nonetheless, I'm overwhelmed.

881
00:52:53,760 --> 00:53:00,160
Speaker 1: I'm fucking overwhelmed mentally, emotionally, financially, I'm fucking terrified out

882
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:04,240
Speaker 1: of every second thing. I live in fucking upper wherever.

883
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:07,080
Speaker 1: And it's all well and good, and I love you both,

884
00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:10,000
Speaker 1: and it makes sense. But where the fuck do I start?

885
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:13,399
Speaker 1: How can I open the door and create a little

886
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:14,600
Speaker 1: bit of momentum?

887
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:20,160
Speaker 2: So start with this. Scientists reckon that our chances odds

888
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:22,640
Speaker 2: of ever having been born as us are about one

889
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 2: in four hundred trillion. Wow, right, we have won the

890
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:32,759
Speaker 2: greatest ever lottery. How about we start fucking acting like

891
00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:37,360
Speaker 2: it and every morning just wake up your gremlin I

892
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:39,799
Speaker 2: talk about gremlin sees my gremlin when I wake up

893
00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:42,640
Speaker 2: in the morning, goes press news, have a lie in,

894
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:45,919
Speaker 2: and my see it goes. Fuck that one in four

895
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:49,319
Speaker 2: hundred trillion, motherfucker. Let's get up and do something right.

896
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:53,880
Speaker 2: So if you start the day like that and do

897
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:58,040
Speaker 2: some work, do some get your get, do your tombstone statement,

898
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:01,000
Speaker 2: work out your values. You can just google a list

899
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:02,520
Speaker 2: of values to give you a bit of a guide

900
00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:06,600
Speaker 2: around it. Right, So get clear on what you want

901
00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 2: to be remembered for, how you want to contribute, and

902
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,880
Speaker 2: get clear on your values, and then do an audit

903
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:17,279
Speaker 2: of your life. You know, how am I doing in

904
00:54:17,320 --> 00:54:25,040
Speaker 2: my exercise, my food, my recovery, my family, all of

905
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:26,719
Speaker 2: those things. Do a little bit of an order on

906
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 2: your life, and pick with the low hanging fruit that

907
00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:33,239
Speaker 2: you can get a small win. Set yourself some goals right,

908
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:36,640
Speaker 2: and get a process and just see if you can

909
00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:41,240
Speaker 2: achieve something right and then take the next step. Because

910
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:44,920
Speaker 2: self efficacy for people who really struggle, they need some

911
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:47,479
Speaker 2: self efficacy, the belief that what they can do makes

912
00:54:47,480 --> 00:54:49,760
Speaker 2: the difference. And it's so hard when you're in that hole.

913
00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:53,239
Speaker 2: You have to get clear on purpose and values and

914
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:55,480
Speaker 2: use those as a guide to help you to do

915
00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:58,759
Speaker 2: the behaviors when it's hard, and then over time what

916
00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:01,480
Speaker 2: you're doing is your devel up being disciplined. This is

917
00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:04,239
Speaker 2: the big thing that people don't talk about. Why is

918
00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:06,400
Speaker 2: it easy for Craig Harper, Why is it easy for

919
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:08,800
Speaker 2: Paul Dealer, Why is it easy for Aunt Middleton? Because

920
00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:12,440
Speaker 2: we've all developed discipline from doing the stuff that we

921
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:15,040
Speaker 2: need to do even when the motivation for area is

922
00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:16,280
Speaker 2: fucked off for a holiday.

923
00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:21,400
Speaker 1: The book is called The Hardiness Effect. Doctor Paul Taylor

924
00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:25,759
Speaker 1: is the author Growth from Stress Up to Myself, Live Longer. Mate,

925
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:28,840
Speaker 1: you're again, Congrats on the book, Congrats on the PhD.

926
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:32,359
Speaker 1: I'm always super happy for you and proud of you.

927
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:34,399
Speaker 1: I'll see you soon.

928
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:37,600
Speaker 2: I'll see you when you are. Next time I see you,

929
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:42,680
Speaker 2: I reckon you'll be doctor Craig fucking who knows? Who knows?

930
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:43,440
Speaker 1: Who knows?

931
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:45,880
Speaker 2: Thanks everyone, cheers, mate,