Speaker 1: High Scrollers is produced on Gadigal land.
Speaker 2: We pay our respects to the traditional custodians of this
Speaker 2: country and elders past and present.
Speaker 1: Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. Well, well, well,
Speaker 1: we have a message that we're reading out and answering
Speaker 1: in this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is fun. We're giving advice to someone. Don't
Speaker 2: forget we have, sorry, you go.
Speaker 1: No, I was just going to say the same thing
Speaker 1: that you're saying.
Speaker 2: Oh, we have the email address in the Show notes.
Speaker 2: You can always email us at any time. If you
Speaker 2: want to send us some sort of... Dilemma.
Speaker 1: You need advice on something.
Speaker 2: Dilemma. A juicy story that has just like happened in
Speaker 2: your life and you just think sharing this on the
Speaker 2: podcast would be entertaining. Like if you just... If you
Speaker 2: have like a juicy story that you're like, I need
Speaker 2: this out in the world, but I'll never be able
Speaker 2: to say it, send it through.
Speaker 1: Because we'll say it for you.
Speaker 2: We might. Well, we might if it's good enough.
Speaker 1: Tiffany will say it.
Speaker 2: Also, Britt and I don't actually see them as well.
Speaker 2: Like they do go to Gay J. So Gay J
Speaker 2: is the one in charge of the emails. And so
Speaker 2: if you want to, like, just know that we're not
Speaker 2: reading them before we read them now here.
Speaker 1: So it's like a real first reaction.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So Gay Jay has selected this from our emails.
Speaker 2: I'm guessing it was an email, not a DM. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And do we know who it's from or is it anonymous?
Speaker 2: You can be anonymous. Obviously, you don't have to make
Speaker 2: a fake.
Speaker 1: I think it's anonymous. I don't think we have a
Speaker 1: name here.
Speaker 3: If I haven't included the name in there because they
Speaker 3: said probably.
Speaker 2: Yet to mention.
Speaker 1: So let's read this out.
Speaker 2: So don't forget, sorry, that if you do email... And
Speaker 2: you want an anonymous?
Speaker 1: Just say that.
Speaker 2: Make sure you say that.
Speaker 1: I would think I would just never say their name anyway.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: Fair enough.
Speaker 3: Name's Shane.
Speaker 2: Well, some of them might like a shout out.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: So we got hello, Matt and Britt. I was hoping
Speaker 1: for some advice regarding hens slash bucks and not being
Speaker 1: included and feeling jealous and upset. If you do an
Speaker 1: advice segment, thank you so much. Love your pod. My partner,
Speaker 1: we will call him Oliver, has two best mates that
Speaker 1: he met at uni and has been there since the
Speaker 1: start of our relationship. We'll call them Anna and Tom.
Speaker 3: Wait, who's that?
Speaker 1: I'm already lost.
Speaker 2: I'm lost too.
Speaker 3: So he has two best mates, Anna and Tom, and
Speaker 3: they're together.
Speaker 2: So this is gays.
Speaker 3: No. So this, I'm this girl.
Speaker 2: Okay, girl. Is with Oliver.
Speaker 3: And he has two friends. Anna and Tom.
Speaker 2: I need a whiteboard so I can put a big
Speaker 2: family tree.
Speaker 1: Okay, so it's a guy, and then he's got two besties,
Speaker 1: which is a girl and a guy.
Speaker 2: The guy and the girl.
Speaker 1: I met Anna and Tom over the years, and we
Speaker 1: have hung out heaps, had heaps of dinners, and even
Speaker 1: met up overseas, and I thought I was pretty close
Speaker 1: to them. While traveling overseas, we introduced my childhood best friend,
Speaker 1: I will call her Sophie, and her partner, David. James
Speaker 1: to Anna and Tom. Are you following Matt? Cause I am.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 1: So she's introduced her childhood bestie and her partner to
Speaker 1: the two other besties of her partner. Fast forward to now,
Speaker 1: Anna and Tom are engaged and getting married, which we
Speaker 1: are super excited for.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: So this guy's two best friends are now getting married.
Speaker 1: Fucking hell. Okay. My partner is speaking at their wedding
Speaker 1: and I can't wait to celebrate their love. Recently I
Speaker 1: found out, however, that they have organized a hens and
Speaker 1: a bucks party. My partner originally thought I was invited, however,
Speaker 1: didn't check the list. I told him I didn't receive
Speaker 1: an invite and we checked the invitation list and my
Speaker 1: best friend Sophie and James were invited along with my partner, however,
Speaker 1: they did not invite me. Okay, this is getting personal
Speaker 1: now because why are her childhood besties invited but not
Speaker 1: her who is the partner of their best friend? Yeah.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: I felt immediately pretty hurt and was finding it hard
Speaker 1: not to take it personally. I know other partners have
Speaker 1: not been included in the hens and bucks party. I
Speaker 1: guess it came as a surprise that Sophie and James,
Speaker 1: so her best friends, were close to Anna and Tom.
Speaker 1: I'm still feeling a bit butthurt over it. I know
Speaker 1: weddings and the events leading up to it are complicated
Speaker 1: and you can't invite everyone, but I can't help but
Speaker 1: feel a bit jealous of the situation, especially because I
Speaker 1: am the one that suggested introducing Sophie and James to
Speaker 1: Anna and Tom originally overseas. Would appreciate some advice. Thank you.
Speaker 1: That makes sense to me.
Speaker 2: It makes sense to me as well.
Speaker 1: Should we paint this scenario as if though it was
Speaker 1: you or me?
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: So this would be, for example, if I started going
Speaker 1: out with AJ.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: And he had a Two best friends, a guy and
Speaker 1: a girl.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: I met them. Nice to meet you both.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: Those two besties end up getting together as a couple.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: And then I introduce you.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: To obviously AJ and his two best friends.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: Then as those two are getting married, you're invited and
Speaker 1: I'm not.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: You're invited to the bucks or the hens or whatever.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I'm not, but I've introduced you and Sky to
Speaker 1: these two people.
Speaker 2: So me and Sky are going to the bucks or
Speaker 2: the hens.
Speaker 1: And I'm not invited, even though I introduced you and
Speaker 1: Sky to AJ's best friends that are now a couple.
Speaker 2: Oh my God. This is like.
Speaker 3: And AJ's the best man.
Speaker 2: In the wedding.
Speaker 3: Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think that's personal.
Speaker 2: No, but I do want to go back here because
Speaker 2: it says, I found out, however, that they have organized
Speaker 2: a hens and bucks party. My partner originally thought I
Speaker 2: was invited, however, didn't check the list. I told him
Speaker 2: I didn't receive an invite and we checked the invitation
Speaker 2: list and my best friend Sophie and James were invited
Speaker 2: along with my partner. However, they did not invite me.
Speaker 2: I need more context there because.
Speaker 1: What's an invite list?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Where are they seeing that? Is there a list? Like,
Speaker 1: is it a Facebook group? A Facebook group, maybe.
Speaker 2: But maybe she just hasn't been added by accident. Like, has.
Speaker 1: But then how do you ask someone without that being awkward?
Speaker 1: Imagine being like, hey, I noticed I wasn't added to
Speaker 1: the event on Facebook or however she's seen this list.
Speaker 1: But then what if it truly is them not wanting
Speaker 1: to invite her? I would get... I think there's a
Speaker 1: deeper issue there that they need to uncover.
Speaker 2: Okay, yes, me too.
Speaker 1: That's why I think this is personal. If that were
Speaker 1: me and I were in that situation... I completely understand
Speaker 1: that you're upset. There may be more reasons to it.
Speaker 1: What I'd be doing is I'd be getting AJ to ask.
Speaker 1: the bride and groom on my behalf. I don't think
Speaker 1: I would go, Hey, you know, so-and-so why wasn't I invited?
Speaker 1: But because AJ is the best man or whatever, a groom,
Speaker 1: a groom, the best man or a in the fucking
Speaker 1: groom party, I'd be getting AJ to go to either
Speaker 1: the guy or the girl, whoever, and just say, Hey,
Speaker 1: like I noticed Brit wasn't invited. I just wanted to check,
Speaker 1: you know, if everything's all good there, I understand you
Speaker 1: can't invite everyone, but I just thought it was a
Speaker 1: bit strange considering Matt and Sky are invited, but not Brit.
Speaker 1: So I wanted to ask. I'd be getting AJ to
Speaker 1: ask on my behalf. What would you do?
Speaker 2: I would be getting AJ to ask on my behalf
Speaker 2: as well.
Speaker 1: That's what I would do in that situation. Because I
Speaker 1: think if you have literally no idea why you haven't
Speaker 1: been invited, there might be something there that they're not
Speaker 1: being honest about.
Speaker 2: There's two options. Either they actually don't like you and
Speaker 2: don't want you there. And if that's the case, who
Speaker 2: gives a fuck? Move on with life. You could die tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Or they've accidentally forgotten to invite you, which is a
Speaker 2: totally normal thing to happen. And like I have many
Speaker 2: a times forgotten to invite someone to something because that's
Speaker 2: just me. So there's really only two ways that it
Speaker 2: can go.
Speaker 1: Or maybe they assume that she's definitely coming because her
Speaker 1: partner is in the bridal party.
Speaker 2: Yeah. When you send... these emails in scrollers, no information
Speaker 2: is too much. Like, like really, if you think, oh,
Speaker 2: I don't want to say too much. Like I don't want.
Speaker 1: To tell us everything. Has something happened in the past?
Speaker 2: Cause my, uh, my thing is that, I mean, they're
Speaker 2: really the only two ways it can go, right? The
Speaker 2: first is they don't actually like her, which say lovey,
Speaker 2: let's move on. Or the second thing is they've forgotten
Speaker 2: to invite her or just assumed that it was unspoken
Speaker 2: that she was going. I don't know what this invite
Speaker 2: list is. Like, this is what I mean by add
Speaker 2: a bit more context. If you email us scrollers, cause.
Speaker 1: Like, where are you seeing an invite list?
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Where's the invite list?
Speaker 1: It has to be a Facebook group, a Facebook event.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And she's seen that.
Speaker 2: She isn't on there. Or there's new links that you
Speaker 2: can get invited to. Like, They send you a text
Speaker 2: and then you go on. It's like, I think it's
Speaker 2: called like party full or something. Okay. And like you,
Speaker 2: it's like a Facebook event, but via text because a
Speaker 2: lot of people don't.
Speaker 1: Have Facebook now. I just think like maybe they've genuinely
Speaker 1: forgotten her because again, if her partner is in the
Speaker 1: bridal party and is besties with this couple that's getting
Speaker 1: married and if for any reason they didn't want to
Speaker 1: invite his partner- Would they not have the decency to
Speaker 1: say to her partner, hey, mate, look, we're not inviting
Speaker 1: her because X, Y, Z? Is that not a bit
Speaker 1: awkward for them to not invite her but not say
Speaker 1: anything and he's in the bridal party? This is where
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm missing context.
Speaker 2: I think I'm missing context too because it says, however,
Speaker 2: they organized a hens and bucks party. I'm also like,
Speaker 2: is that together? Is it a hens and bucks party
Speaker 2: at the same time? I mean, we're so progressive these days.
Speaker 2: Everybody's doing everything. You know, like I'm like, are these
Speaker 2: two separate events and are you, because are you upset
Speaker 2: that you're not invited to the hens? Because it says
Speaker 2: Sophie and James were invited along with my partner. To me,
Speaker 2: I'm going, are they all going to a hens and
Speaker 2: bucks together?
Speaker 1: Again, I just think if one of AJ's mates was
Speaker 1: getting married, and AJ was in the bridal party and
Speaker 1: I wasn't invited to any sort of celebrations around that,
Speaker 1: AJ's mate would go, hey mate, we're not inviting Brittany
Speaker 1: because X, Y, Z, because he's close enough with those
Speaker 1: people that he's in their bridal party. And if not,
Speaker 1: AJ would be going to him, hey mate, I noticed
Speaker 1: Brittany's not on the invite list. I just wanted to check, like,
Speaker 1: have you forgotten her or is there a problem there?
Speaker 2: Yes, because I think that as well, that just that
Speaker 2: scenario is fine and I wouldn't even I wouldn't even
Speaker 2: be bothered. the type of person if I don't get
Speaker 2: invited to something, I'm just like, whatever.
Speaker 1: But also, is she invited to the wedding?
Speaker 2: No, but yeah, I think she is. But I think
Speaker 2: the problem here is adding in the childhood friends element.
Speaker 2: Because if the situation happened without the childhood friends element
Speaker 2: and AJ was in the bridal party and being invited
Speaker 2: to the box and you weren't, I mean, me personally,
Speaker 2: if Sky was in a wedding party for literally anyone
Speaker 2: and I wasn't invited to the hens or bucks or whatever,
Speaker 2: that's not an issue to me at all. In fact,
Speaker 2: I'd go as far to say is if you don't,
Speaker 2: if I don't have that much of a relationship with
Speaker 2: you and you're Sky's friend, I don't expect to be
Speaker 2: invited to the wedding at all.
Speaker 1: Well, how close is she to this couple? Well, she
Speaker 1: reckons she's pretty close.
Speaker 2: But she also said, she also said being out to
Speaker 2: a few dinners, seeing each other overseas, like, Again, I'm like,
Speaker 2: maybe you thought you were more of a friend than
Speaker 2: you actually were. I don't know. This is why I
Speaker 2: fucking hate these segments because we don't have enough context.
Speaker 1: I love these segments.
Speaker 2: And then I feel like I'm being a bitch to
Speaker 2: this girl that's written into us and no one's going
Speaker 2: to want to write in because I just read everyone
Speaker 2: to fill.
Speaker 1: I think it's valid that you feel this way. It
Speaker 1: definitely is awkward, especially awkward because you're also going to
Speaker 1: the wedding and then the two other besties. And my
Speaker 1: advice is get your partner to ask on your behalf.
Speaker 1: And it's no biggie if he's that close with them
Speaker 1: in the bridal party. Hey, I've just noticed that Brits
Speaker 1: not invited to the hen slash bucks. I just wanted
Speaker 1: to check. Is it like a numbers thing or have
Speaker 1: you forgotten?
Speaker 2: Also, I agree that you're valid in feeling like, oh,
Speaker 2: why haven't I been invited? But two, I would encourage
Speaker 2: you to get the fuck over it. Like, do you really,
Speaker 2: how badly do you need to go to someone's fucking
Speaker 2: hen's party?
Speaker 1: I think it's more, I agree with what you're saying.
Speaker 1: It's more the feeling of being like neglected or left
Speaker 1: out or rejected.
Speaker 2: But also have enough self-respect for yourself to go, don't care.
Speaker 2: They're going to have a shit time without me anyway,
Speaker 2: you know? Yeah. Because that's how I frame things. I go, oh,
Speaker 2: you didn't invite me. No worries. Have fun, losers, you know?
Speaker 3: I think it would sting significantly more that her. two
Speaker 3: best friends are included. It's just feeling excluded.
Speaker 1: That's all it is.
Speaker 2: I reckon if they weren't included, then the scene would.
Speaker 1: Be a different story. It's just literally the feeling of
Speaker 1: being excluded. It's not nice and no one likes to
Speaker 1: be left out. But, yeah, I wouldn't completely beat yourself
Speaker 1: up over it. I would just get your partner to ask.
Speaker 1: Just ask the question. Hard conversations, easy life. I always
Speaker 1: say that. And also, low key, shame on the couple
Speaker 1: getting married for not just mentioning it to your partner
Speaker 1: in the first place. Yeah. Hey, AJ, we didn't invite
Speaker 1: Britt because- Also.
Speaker 2: Power move. Show up. What are they going to do? Say, sorry, babe,
Speaker 2: you've got to leave. Power move. Just be like, oh,
Speaker 2: I thought I was invited. Why would I not be invited?
Speaker 2: Let's have that conversation.
Speaker 1: Yeah. You know what I mean? I love these segments.
Speaker 2: Okay. I love it too.
Speaker 1: Please send in your scenarios or even just stories.
Speaker 2: Yeah. We can even do like a long form one
Speaker 2: on YouTube exclusive as well.
Speaker 1: Because I love talking about this kind of stuff. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Okay. Great. Well, the only last thing that I would
Speaker 2: ask is that whoever sent this in, I would love
Speaker 2: an update so that we can share it. Not only
Speaker 2: for us, but we want to share it with the scrollers.
Speaker 2: This is the other problem with these segments. Sorry, I'm
Speaker 2: just shitting on these segments. But the other problem is
Speaker 2: we now are so invested in this hen's party. And
Speaker 2: how long ago did you get this email? How long
Speaker 2: till it, are we even too late to give the advice?
Speaker 2: Has it been and gone now? Like what's going on?
Speaker 2: I need an update from you, even if we were
Speaker 2: too late.
Speaker 1: Yeah, please let us know.
Speaker 2: And they might be busy. They might not even listen
Speaker 2: to this episode. They might be one of the fucking
Speaker 2: scrollers who doesn't even listen to close friends. Maybe. We
Speaker 2: don't even know if they'll even hear this episode.
Speaker 1: But I think we're onto something with this.
Speaker 2: They could have turned off five weeks ago when Tiffany
Speaker 2: come out and they hate us now and they don't
Speaker 2: even listen to scrollers, you know. This is what I
Speaker 2: mean with these segments. I just panic.
Speaker 1: Well, I think we're really onto something here, Matt. I
Speaker 1: think this is going to be, if we can do
Speaker 1: it properly, we could be onto a new scrollers segment.
Speaker 2: Okay. Well, I'm keen to do it properly.
Speaker 1: Me too.
Speaker 3: Everyone send in your scenarios, please.
Speaker 1: And if you send enough in, we will keep it
Speaker 1: going and then we will pitch to Nova. This is
Speaker 1: an additional episode every week outside of mains and close friends.
Speaker 1: And then we can ask for more money.
Speaker 2: Yes. Yes. All right. Well, until then, we'll see you
Speaker 2: next Tuesday.