1 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:07,240 Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Britney Saunders and welcome to Big Business, the 2 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 1: place where business is far from boring. And today I'm 3 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:13,920 Speaker 1: recording on gadigal Land. Now I somehow manage to build 4 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 1: an empire from the garage underneath my house, and I'm 5 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,160 Speaker 1: here to share it all with you, from the winds, 6 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:23,880 Speaker 1: the losses, the huge mistakes, the challenging times and funny 7 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:27,320 Speaker 1: moments in between. So whether you're in business already, you're 8 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 1: not in the game at all, or if you simply 9 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:31,960 Speaker 1: just want to hear the tea or get some inspiration, 10 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:35,320 Speaker 1: this is the podcast for you. Now. Speaking of tea, 11 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:40,200 Speaker 1: I'm switching things up in this episode, and I mean, 12 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:42,879 Speaker 1: I guess you could say I'm spilling the tea on 13 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,199 Speaker 1: my life, but I have a lot of things to 14 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 1: say about that, and I almost feel like this episode 15 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:51,080 Speaker 1: is going to be a form of therapy for me. 16 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 1: And I've got producer Xander in the studio. You may 17 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 1: jump in if you feel needed, but I'm going to 18 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker 1: be talking about my personal life. And I was inspired 19 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 1: to make this episode by a DM that I got 20 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:08,520 Speaker 1: from someone, so I thought I would start by reading 21 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:10,720 Speaker 1: out the message. So this kind of makes sense and 22 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 1: then we'll get into it. I'm honestly kind of scared 23 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:18,120 Speaker 1: to do this episode the nurse, So shout out to 24 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,760 Speaker 1: Stephanie for sending me this DM on my Big Business 25 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 1: Podcast Instagram page. Hey, loving the podcast. I'm so curious 26 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 1: about your upbringing. In one of your podcast episodes, you 27 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,600 Speaker 1: talk about how your mum was like, I don't care 28 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: if you go to school or not. See if I care, 29 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 1: And I'm just curious about if your family are also 30 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,480 Speaker 1: in business or what their background is. I find it 31 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 1: interesting both ways if someone either has come from smart 32 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:44,840 Speaker 1: parents who can pass on the wisdom or even just 33 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:49,160 Speaker 1: confident parents who really instill confidence, or I also find 34 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 1: it interesting on the other end, if someone has come 35 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: from parents with not a lot of knowledge around making money, 36 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 1: or who's like my mum and themselves are extremely not 37 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 1: confident people and can be negative. Just would love to 38 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,720 Speaker 1: know more about that in an episode if it happened 39 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 1: to fit into one. Thanks for the knowledge you're passing on. 40 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 1: Love it. Thank you so much, Stephanie. I saw this 41 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 1: DM and I thought that's a perfect topic for a podcast. 42 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:19,280 Speaker 1: I would love to talk about this because I often 43 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 1: think and have thought so many times how interesting it is, 44 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:27,079 Speaker 1: how differently we are obviously all brought up, and then 45 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:31,240 Speaker 1: how that plays into, I guess essentially shaping us into 46 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:34,520 Speaker 1: who we are as adults. And I think the way 47 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,800 Speaker 1: that I have been brought up by both of my 48 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:40,920 Speaker 1: parents definitely and obviously has shaped me into who I 49 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 1: am today. And I think that applies to every single 50 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,839 Speaker 1: one of us. We are shaped by the people who 51 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:49,519 Speaker 1: raise us. But in my case, I would say it's 52 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: not in the way that you would think, and I 53 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 1: think it's worth talking about. But in the same breath, 54 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,800 Speaker 1: you know, I'm always talking about personal branding and you know, 55 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 1: making content online about your life, personal brand this and that. 56 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 1: But over the years, especially since my YouTube days, I 57 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 1: have become more and more private in a sense where 58 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:14,639 Speaker 1: I don't really talk about my feelings online or anything 59 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,680 Speaker 1: that's happening in my personal life really. You know. I 60 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:20,640 Speaker 1: share bits and bobs on my Instagram story about my 61 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 1: house and aj but that's really all anyone ever sees. 62 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 1: And I think as I've gotten older, I have become 63 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: a little more private and mindful of the personal things 64 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 1: that I share online. And I don't know if that's 65 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 1: like a maturity thing or just wanting a bit of privacy. 66 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: But I definitely don't see my life being a topic 67 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:45,200 Speaker 1: of gossip. But I just read that message and felt 68 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 1: compelled to, I guess, talk about my family and the 69 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,520 Speaker 1: way that I was brought up and why I think 70 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 1: I am the way that I am today. I want 71 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 1: to start out this episode with a disclaimer or an acknowledgment, 72 00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:58,920 Speaker 1: which I feel like I do in a lot of 73 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 1: my episodes, to whoever is listening to this podcast. If 74 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 1: you are in my life or part of my family, 75 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: listen at your own risk. I'm not making this episode 76 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,880 Speaker 1: to shame anyone or make anyone look bad, because I 77 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 1: know everyone has their own issues. This is essentially just 78 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 1: me talking about my experience and my upbringing and my childhood. 79 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:24,720 Speaker 1: Because who knows who's listening to this bloody podcast, And 80 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: even though this is online and it almost doesn't feel real, 81 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 1: I'm sure there's people that know me personally that will 82 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 1: probably listen to this. So to put it in a nutshell, 83 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,039 Speaker 1: I have both of my parents to thank for who 84 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:41,239 Speaker 1: I am today one hundred percent. But it's not in 85 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 1: a positive way. And I hate to say this, but 86 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,400 Speaker 1: it's not in a way where and I wish it was, 87 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 1: but I wish I could be saying I'm so thankful 88 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,440 Speaker 1: for the person that I am today because my parents 89 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 1: have raised me to be who I am today. They 90 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:58,360 Speaker 1: have guided me and led me and supported me. It's 91 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 1: actually the complete opposite. It's the other end of the scale. 92 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:06,200 Speaker 1: But I'm still thankful because hand on heart, I can 93 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 1: say my parents have taught me everything I don't want 94 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 1: to be in a person everything. I do want to 95 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 1: say as well that I have a lot to be 96 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,800 Speaker 1: grateful for in my life. I personally think that I 97 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:25,040 Speaker 1: have the most amazing life. Even though I have things 98 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 1: missing in my life and I feel like there's parts 99 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: of my life that I wish I had better. I 100 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,400 Speaker 1: do have an amazing life, and I've definitely learned since 101 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,360 Speaker 1: I was a kid that you can pick and choose 102 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 1: who your family are. I know some people say that 103 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,359 Speaker 1: you can't, like you can't pick your family. Ah, in 104 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 1: my experience, you absolutely can. And I know that I 105 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,719 Speaker 1: am privilege and have this wonderful life. But I will 106 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 1: say the one thing that I feel like I am 107 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,960 Speaker 1: missing in my life now and have missed my whole life. 108 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 1: If I'm being honest or majority of it is awesome 109 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaker 1: parents that I can share my successes with and the 110 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 1: success of Fate with. I do want to address one thing, 111 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,359 Speaker 1: a comment that I've been getting a lot lately, and 112 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 1: I'm not going to go into detail about it, but 113 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,599 Speaker 1: I have had a lot of people ask me where 114 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,159 Speaker 1: is Chaz Who is my mum? As a lot of 115 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:14,359 Speaker 1: you would know, she was an employee of Fate and 116 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 1: would show up on our social media every now and 117 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:19,359 Speaker 1: then in our reels and tiktoks and stuff. I just 118 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 1: want to put it out there. As of last year, 119 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:27,159 Speaker 1: she's no longer working at Fate, and disappointingly, she's not 120 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 1: in my life either. And that's all I'm going to 121 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,240 Speaker 1: say on that. It's not the business of everyone to 122 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:34,159 Speaker 1: know what happened or anything like that. You know, you 123 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 1: can keep things private, and that is really kind of 124 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:40,680 Speaker 1: a business and personal thing for me. I am extremely disappointed, 125 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,479 Speaker 1: but this isn't the first time that I have been 126 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:47,359 Speaker 1: in no contact with her, and I'm not surprised at 127 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:48,440 Speaker 1: the end of the day. And that's all I'm going 128 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:51,360 Speaker 1: to say about that, because it isn't really a topic 129 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 1: of gossip. So let's take it back to my childhood. Now, 130 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:58,160 Speaker 1: this is stuff that I have spoken about on YouTube 131 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,159 Speaker 1: many many years ago. I opened up about my relationship 132 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,680 Speaker 1: with my dad and at the time a lot of 133 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:07,760 Speaker 1: people resonated with that. So I know not all of 134 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:09,800 Speaker 1: you would have watched that particular video from eight or 135 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:13,480 Speaker 1: nine years ago, so I feel comfortable sharing the story again. 136 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:16,560 Speaker 1: But my childhood, in a nutshell, it was my sister 137 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 1: and I and my mom and my dad. I don't 138 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,520 Speaker 1: have a single happy memory of my mom and dad 139 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: being together. They divorced when I was nine. All my 140 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 1: memories are of them is a lot of fighting, a 141 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 1: lot of being locked in my room, getting sent to 142 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,240 Speaker 1: my room without dinner. That's kind of my memory of 143 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 1: them being together. I don't have one happy memory, like 144 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,240 Speaker 1: we never went on a holiday or anything like that. 145 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 1: But in saying that, we did always have everything we 146 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 1: wanted when we were kids. You know, I did dancing 147 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 1: and had all nice clothes and beanie kids. If anyone 148 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:49,640 Speaker 1: remembers those things us to collect those. We always had 149 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: nice things. But from memory, what I didn't have was 150 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 1: any love from my parents, which I think is really important. 151 00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 1: And it was always that way, and then it was 152 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,840 Speaker 1: kind of you know, the kids being thrown back and 153 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:05,280 Speaker 1: forth in between mum's house and Dad's house, and Dad 154 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,160 Speaker 1: had us every second weekend. That was like the custody thing. 155 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,920 Speaker 1: Every second weekend we were at Dad's and very quickly 156 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:16,280 Speaker 1: my dad got with another woman. And I remember being 157 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 1: really upset by that at the time because I was 158 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:21,920 Speaker 1: nine or ten and I couldn't really understand what was 159 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:23,560 Speaker 1: going on, but it was really upset by the fact 160 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 1: that my dad had this new girlfriend, who was named Jackie. 161 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:30,920 Speaker 1: And I remember so specifically one time when Dad and 162 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,120 Speaker 1: Jackie were first dating. Obviously, you know, when you're in 163 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:36,880 Speaker 1: a new relationship, you try your hardest kind of thing, 164 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 1: like it's in that honeymoon phase or whatever. And I 165 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 1: remember my dad went and purchased Jackie a gold watch 166 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 1: and a matching bracelet. And I remember going home to 167 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:52,240 Speaker 1: my mum balling my eyes out, saying, why did he 168 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:55,200 Speaker 1: never buy you a gold watch and matching bracelet. I 169 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,959 Speaker 1: just so specifically remember that, and I remember just being 170 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,320 Speaker 1: really upset by the fact that my dad had a 171 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:04,600 Speaker 1: new partner. I really come around to liking Jackie. She 172 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:07,200 Speaker 1: went from you know, because she had two kids as well, 173 00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 1: were the same age as my sister and I. They 174 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 1: moved into our family home that Dad was still living in, 175 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 1: so I was dealing with them taking our bedrooms and 176 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,800 Speaker 1: then we were just there every second weekend. It was 177 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:20,920 Speaker 1: an adjustment for any kid, and I went from kind 178 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,080 Speaker 1: of hating Jackie, being like who is this woman to 179 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:26,040 Speaker 1: growing a really close bond with her. And it was 180 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 1: also around this time when Dad and Jackie got together 181 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:35,719 Speaker 1: that I started having issues with my dad. I thought 182 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 1: I would also do a little bit of a trigger 183 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,640 Speaker 1: warning to any of you that have had issues with 184 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:41,480 Speaker 1: your parents. I'm just going to talk a little bit 185 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,000 Speaker 1: about my relationship with my dad. If you don't want 186 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,839 Speaker 1: to hear about any of that, you may want to 187 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 1: skip ahead or not listen to the episode. But it 188 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:52,079 Speaker 1: was around, you know, the ages of ten and eleven, 189 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:56,240 Speaker 1: that my relationship with my dad became really toxic. And 190 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:57,680 Speaker 1: I think it was just to do with everything with 191 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,120 Speaker 1: Mum and Dad divorcing and then being split and the 192 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,520 Speaker 1: separate houses and then my stepmum coming into the picture. 193 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 1: But he was always i would say, quite abusive and controlling, 194 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:15,200 Speaker 1: very emotionally manipulative, playing mind games and overall really horrible. 195 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 1: Even as I got older, like he would still threaten 196 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 1: to hit me, but you know, it wasn't like full 197 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 1: on punching, but it was like whacking even though I'm 198 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:27,080 Speaker 1: like ten, eleven, twelve kind of thing. And I think 199 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:31,360 Speaker 1: as I was getting older, I was realizing that this 200 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:34,440 Speaker 1: wasn't on and you know, it would be his weekend 201 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:38,079 Speaker 1: every second weekend, but if I did something that upset him, 202 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,120 Speaker 1: he would blow up and drop me back to my mom's. 203 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,199 Speaker 1: Like he would just palm me off kind of thing, 204 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:43,839 Speaker 1: even though it was meant to be his weekend kind 205 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,880 Speaker 1: of thing. If he couldn't handle whatever it was that 206 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,880 Speaker 1: I was doing. And I wasn't a perfect child, like 207 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,600 Speaker 1: I was a little brat, but he would very easily 208 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: just palm me off, like or he would call my 209 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:54,560 Speaker 1: mum and say, I'm fucking sick of her, where are you? 210 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:55,960 Speaker 1: I'm coming to meet you now, and he would just 211 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 1: you know, drive like a madman to drop me back 212 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,320 Speaker 1: off to my mum when he couldn't star and me 213 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,679 Speaker 1: anymore or whatever. We went through a few stints of 214 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:07,400 Speaker 1: not talking, like going no contact so here and there. 215 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:09,679 Speaker 1: We'd go like two months of not seeing each other, 216 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:14,880 Speaker 1: three months sometimes six months over various things, and I 217 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 1: guess Jackie was there to experience all of that with me. 218 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,480 Speaker 1: Like I wouldn't see Jackie and my stepbrother and stepsister 219 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 1: for those periods of time, and then i'd eventually go back, 220 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 1: like he'd call me up and say, oh, do you 221 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:26,440 Speaker 1: want to come back, And we'd never talk about anything 222 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:29,199 Speaker 1: that happened. It was always like we just brushed it 223 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,520 Speaker 1: under the rug kind of thing. And anyway, to cut 224 00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:34,480 Speaker 1: a long story short, because this spanned over years. When 225 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:38,840 Speaker 1: I was fourteen, my dad had an affair on Jackie, 226 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:42,319 Speaker 1: my step mom, who by this point i'd grown really 227 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 1: close to. I was fourteen, this is when I got 228 00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:47,400 Speaker 1: my first job, and that was like the cherry on 229 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:50,360 Speaker 1: the cake was him having an affair, and it was 230 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:55,199 Speaker 1: really messy as well. He got me and my sister involved, 231 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,440 Speaker 1: and he took us to meet his new girlfriend and 232 00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 1: like introduced us, and I was old enough to go, 233 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:03,880 Speaker 1: this is wrong, Like he's taken us from the home 234 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 1: that we were all living in with my step mom 235 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,560 Speaker 1: to meet this new woman and he was raving about her, 236 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,880 Speaker 1: saying how wonderful she is, and I'm fourteen, going, this 237 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,319 Speaker 1: is not on, Like you're married to my stepmom and 238 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:17,840 Speaker 1: you're introducing us as eleven and fourteen year olds to 239 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:20,679 Speaker 1: your new girlfriend. It was just messy. It dragged on 240 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,520 Speaker 1: for a couple of months, and I got really caught 241 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 1: up in it because I was at the house that 242 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,079 Speaker 1: we lived in with Jackie. I might have even been 243 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,559 Speaker 1: living with them at the time and dealing with him 244 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 1: like coming in, going from the other woman's house and 245 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,800 Speaker 1: coming home. And eventually, after all this shit like this 246 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,679 Speaker 1: spanned across a while, him and Jackie got a divorce 247 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,400 Speaker 1: and she moved out of our family home and I 248 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:44,440 Speaker 1: helped her move out. That was when my dad, I guess, 249 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 1: abandoned me for good. I was to never hear from 250 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 1: him again, but plot twist coming soon. I remember calling 251 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,920 Speaker 1: him in that first year of him not talking to 252 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,520 Speaker 1: me because he'd moved on with the woman that he 253 00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:58,600 Speaker 1: had the affair with, and I would call him on 254 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:03,080 Speaker 1: the home phone bawling my eyes out, and he would 255 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 1: say to me, you're not my daughter anymore. And a 256 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:08,840 Speaker 1: lot of things have stuck with me that he said 257 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,520 Speaker 1: to me. Even before that, when he used to be 258 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:13,720 Speaker 1: really horrible and nasty, he would say things to me 259 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,240 Speaker 1: like you're going to amount to nothing, You're going to 260 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:19,880 Speaker 1: be a no one and those things I've never ever forgotten. 261 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:23,280 Speaker 1: And when I think back to it, I think the 262 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:25,840 Speaker 1: reason I am the way that I am is because 263 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 1: of a lot of what he said and did to me. 264 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:31,720 Speaker 1: In those early teenage years, I really struggled. I couldn't 265 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,280 Speaker 1: go to school. I've never cried so much in my 266 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,720 Speaker 1: life in those years, and I often think, is that 267 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:39,079 Speaker 1: why I don't really have that many emotions today. I 268 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,760 Speaker 1: feel like I got all my tears out fourteen fifteen sixteen, 269 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 1: And during this time, if I'm being completely honest, I 270 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,520 Speaker 1: didn't feel like I had any support from my mum. 271 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 1: It was very much if I'd be laying in bed 272 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 1: crying about Dad not talking to me for the last 273 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 1: two years, I'd be like, yeah, over it. He's a 274 00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:57,719 Speaker 1: fucking dickhead anyway, because you know, understandably that's her ex 275 00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,560 Speaker 1: husband that she absolutely hates. But there was never any 276 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,640 Speaker 1: compassion towards the fact that I'd essentially lost my dad, 277 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:08,240 Speaker 1: and I don't know, I didn't feel supported in that. 278 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:13,200 Speaker 1: My relationship with my mum also became really rocky. We 279 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,719 Speaker 1: fought a lot, clashed heads. I moved out with a 280 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:18,040 Speaker 1: high school boyfriend at one point when I was sixteen, 281 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:22,120 Speaker 1: without going into too much detail. As well as having 282 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:25,160 Speaker 1: a really rocky relationship with my dad in my earlier years, 283 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,320 Speaker 1: I also had the same kind of issues with my 284 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:31,240 Speaker 1: mum as well. We would go through periods of absolutely 285 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 1: clashing heads. I would say, my mom and I have 286 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:37,760 Speaker 1: never had a loving relationship. I've always wished that we did, 287 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:41,120 Speaker 1: and I honestly feel like that's what I have missed 288 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:44,440 Speaker 1: my whole life. I then moved out of home when 289 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:47,480 Speaker 1: I was seventeen. I couldn't wait to move out, and 290 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 1: I think dealing with tough relationships with my parents forced 291 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:55,120 Speaker 1: me to really become independent from a young age. And 292 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 1: I think this is where the whole entrepreneurship thing comes 293 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,280 Speaker 1: into play as well. But from a really young age, 294 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 1: I felt like I became mature and had gone through 295 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 1: a lot of things and felt like I could be 296 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:10,200 Speaker 1: out on my own. Honestly, from a teenager, I felt 297 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 1: like I had no other option than to just vend 298 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:15,720 Speaker 1: for myself. I never really felt supported by either of 299 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 1: my parents or encouraged at all in anything, and I 300 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,880 Speaker 1: often wonder I wonder how different my life would be 301 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,160 Speaker 1: if I had parents that were supportive and encouraged me 302 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,200 Speaker 1: to do things. I always think, what have I ended 303 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:31,320 Speaker 1: up going to university and went down a completely different 304 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,440 Speaker 1: career path? Like who knows? Isn't it funny how the 305 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:37,000 Speaker 1: way that our family can essentially shape us into who 306 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,120 Speaker 1: we are, and if they were slightly different, my life 307 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,080 Speaker 1: could be completely different. But the one person I will 308 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:46,480 Speaker 1: say that stayed supportive to me and has been one 309 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,480 Speaker 1: of the most loving and mother figures in my life 310 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:52,840 Speaker 1: even up until this day is Jackie, my stepmom. So 311 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,000 Speaker 1: her and dad divorced when I was fourteen, and to 312 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,720 Speaker 1: this day she is my step mom. I know she 313 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,840 Speaker 1: listens to my podcast, So shout out to you, Jackie. 314 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:06,520 Speaker 1: Even though I haven't grown up with supportive parents, Jackie 315 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,440 Speaker 1: has been that supportive parent figure to me and still 316 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,480 Speaker 1: is to this day. I still call her my stepmom 317 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,640 Speaker 1: even though they divorced over fifteen years ago. I'm like, yeah, 318 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,280 Speaker 1: that's my stepmom and people like, what your step mom? 319 00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:22,440 Speaker 1: So I really have her to thank for a lot. 320 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,880 Speaker 1: Her and I were meant to meet by my dad 321 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,720 Speaker 1: and her getting married and getting divorced because we've both 322 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:31,880 Speaker 1: won in that instance. Fast forward back to my whole 323 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 1: dad situation. I really thought that that was it for 324 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,520 Speaker 1: him and I my whole life from the ages of 325 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 1: fourteen up and not last year, but the year before. 326 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:46,080 Speaker 1: He called me and he said he was sorry, which 327 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,840 Speaker 1: I never thought would happen. I remember I was at 328 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 1: the warehouse and my phone rang and it was him, 329 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,040 Speaker 1: and he said, I just want to call and I 330 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,680 Speaker 1: want to say I'm sorry. He did say I don't 331 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:58,000 Speaker 1: want to talk about anything that happened, and I'm like, 332 00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:02,000 Speaker 1: of course, typical, typical. But I did get an apology, 333 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:06,200 Speaker 1: which I was, I guess a little relieved to hear. 334 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,600 Speaker 1: I didn't know how to feel at the time. I 335 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,320 Speaker 1: was at work, I'm like, what the fuck is going on? 336 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 1: And he said he knows that nothing will ever be 337 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,600 Speaker 1: the same because we have honestly not been in each 338 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,040 Speaker 1: other's lives for fifteen years. 339 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:20,280 Speaker 2: Hello producers, Andy heard jumping in with a question. Do 340 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,679 Speaker 2: you think that your dad contacted you after all these 341 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,240 Speaker 2: years because he saw the success that you've had. Do 342 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,760 Speaker 2: you think that if you had had this success, would 343 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,360 Speaker 2: he have reached out the way he did. 344 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,879 Speaker 1: I think he would have regardless, because I guess I 345 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,760 Speaker 1: missed one point here. He broke up with the woman 346 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,520 Speaker 1: that he had the affair with, and it was after 347 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:43,159 Speaker 1: that that he contacted me. And he also has a 348 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,879 Speaker 1: really wonderful, nice girlfriend now and I have a feeling 349 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,240 Speaker 1: that she has played a huge part in him contacting me. 350 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 1: So that was a year and a half ago that 351 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 1: he reached out, and I've seen him maybe less than 352 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:58,680 Speaker 1: five times since then. I actually went out for dinner 353 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,440 Speaker 1: with him and his new partner, and I took AJ, 354 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:05,320 Speaker 1: and we were both a little bit nervous before we went, 355 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:08,080 Speaker 1: and AJ was sculling some peers because he's like, I'm 356 00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:10,480 Speaker 1: meeting your dad for the first time, and you know, 357 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:13,000 Speaker 1: AJ and I've been together for like six years by 358 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,320 Speaker 1: this point or whatever. So AJ got a little bit 359 00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:18,359 Speaker 1: pissed before we went to the dinner, and it was 360 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,399 Speaker 1: honestly great. We just talked about everything in life, and 361 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,000 Speaker 1: I had wondered if he had told his new partner 362 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:28,320 Speaker 1: that I hadn't been in contact with him for fifteen years, 363 00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:29,720 Speaker 1: Like that's what I was wondering before I went to 364 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,320 Speaker 1: the dinner. But she did say things and was asking 365 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:36,080 Speaker 1: me questions which made me realize she knows that we 366 00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:38,200 Speaker 1: haven't been in each other's lives for fifteen years, which 367 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,240 Speaker 1: I thought was a good thing. Does she know everything 368 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:44,240 Speaker 1: that happened? No, but that's fine. She might now if 369 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,800 Speaker 1: she's listening. That's why. Ah. And I'll tell you one 370 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,160 Speaker 1: thing that I did that really made me feel powerful 371 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:53,080 Speaker 1: and I felt like I claimed my position. We went 372 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:56,119 Speaker 1: out for this lovely dinner, cocktails, food share plates, a 373 00:18:56,119 --> 00:18:58,480 Speaker 1: whole lot at this really nice place, and then at 374 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,119 Speaker 1: the end, I said, I've got the I've got it, 375 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,120 Speaker 1: Like I just really wanted to fucking say, don't you worry, guys, 376 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,800 Speaker 1: this dinner's what four hundred bucks? Five hundred bucks? I 377 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,000 Speaker 1: fucking got it. And I tapped my card in front 378 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 1: of them both, and it was just like a real 379 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,560 Speaker 1: powerful moment for me to be like yeah, And I 380 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,720 Speaker 1: guess it was therapy for me in a way to 381 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:20,680 Speaker 1: talk to my dad's new partner about everything that I do. 382 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,600 Speaker 1: And she has an amazing job and she seems really 383 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:25,200 Speaker 1: switched on. So we were talking about everything from staffing 384 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:28,520 Speaker 1: and companies, and she was really engaging with me in 385 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,040 Speaker 1: this conversation. I could see my dad sitting there looking 386 00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:33,000 Speaker 1: at me, and I feel like he was in awe 387 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 1: a little bit, and I felt really powerful in that moment. 388 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,920 Speaker 1: I never thought in a million years that my dad 389 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,960 Speaker 1: would ever come back into the picture because it had been, 390 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,480 Speaker 1: you know, fifteen years, and I'm happy to have him 391 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:48,080 Speaker 1: in the picture at the distance that we have now. 392 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,919 Speaker 1: As he said, nothing's ever gonna be the same. But 393 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,920 Speaker 1: now you know, we send each other happy Birthday message, 394 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:57,119 Speaker 1: we send each other Merry Christmas. I'm happy with that. 395 00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:02,680 Speaker 1: Have I forgiven him for everything? I'm beyond even forgiveness. 396 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,240 Speaker 1: I don't know how to explain it, but I just 397 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,720 Speaker 1: feel like I'm beyond that everything that I've built in 398 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:10,080 Speaker 1: my entire life, essentially without the support of either of 399 00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:13,160 Speaker 1: my parents, to the point where I know that I 400 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,240 Speaker 1: am fine without them in my life if they weren't. 401 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,919 Speaker 1: So I don't know if I forgive him, because I 402 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,840 Speaker 1: think I got over that resentment a really long time ago. 403 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:28,560 Speaker 1: I'm kind of just at peace now. Before I recorded 404 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 1: this podcast, I actually did a bit of research online. 405 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,879 Speaker 1: I was googling what are the links between not so 406 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,600 Speaker 1: great parenting and people becoming entrepreneurs. 407 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:41,520 Speaker 2: Do you think that because of your relationship with your 408 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:45,040 Speaker 2: parents and your upbringing, that that is the reason you 409 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,640 Speaker 2: have such a drive and motivation to succeed. 410 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:51,720 Speaker 1: Now, I definitely do, and I've thought about that a lot, 411 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,119 Speaker 1: And there's been a lot of studies that people that 412 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:59,159 Speaker 1: have faced adversity can become really powerful entrepreneurs. And I 413 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:03,199 Speaker 1: do think that having rocky relationships with both of my 414 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:08,479 Speaker 1: parents and feeling extremely abandoned by both of them on 415 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:12,960 Speaker 1: a multitude of occasions throughout my life has definitely led 416 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 1: me to be the way that I am. And I've 417 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:20,000 Speaker 1: often thought, I think maybe it's all because of them 418 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,040 Speaker 1: that I am the way that I am now. The 419 00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:24,639 Speaker 1: reason why I want to keep striving and achieving and 420 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:27,720 Speaker 1: pushing myself and doing the next crazy thing. I often 421 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:30,359 Speaker 1: wonder deep down in my brain. I've never been to therapy, 422 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,760 Speaker 1: but deep down in my brain, is this my motivation? 423 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:37,199 Speaker 1: Is this the reason why I keep striving? Am I 424 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:40,320 Speaker 1: trying to prove something, you know, to myself that I 425 00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:42,680 Speaker 1: can do it on my own? Or am I subconsciously 426 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:46,320 Speaker 1: trying to prove it to them that fuck you and 427 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:48,720 Speaker 1: I can do this? You know? I think that's where 428 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:50,760 Speaker 1: my motivation deep down comes from. 429 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:55,919 Speaker 2: Was there a moment during Fate's growth where you were like, 430 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,880 Speaker 2: I would have love to have shared this with my. 431 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,760 Speaker 1: Parents every day. That's the one thing I wish I 432 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:04,320 Speaker 1: had in my life. I've got a lot of amazing things. 433 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,959 Speaker 1: I have Jackie, my step mom. I have Nan, who 434 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,440 Speaker 1: is my mum's mum who everyone knows. I've got a 435 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:13,000 Speaker 1: j the most wonderful partner ever. I've got this booming 436 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:18,880 Speaker 1: business with amazing employees, and without coming across Hoffy toffee, 437 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:22,159 Speaker 1: as my Nan would say, like I'm in a financially 438 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:26,040 Speaker 1: I'm in a financially wonderful position. And I think the 439 00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:27,920 Speaker 1: thing that I'm missing in my life or I wish 440 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,520 Speaker 1: I had, was parents that could enjoy this with me. 441 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:35,200 Speaker 1: I would love to have parents that I could spoil rotten. 442 00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:38,159 Speaker 1: I'd love to take my parents on a holiday. And 443 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,160 Speaker 1: I just don't think at any point in my life, 444 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,919 Speaker 1: I've ever felt like I really had that. And I 445 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:44,520 Speaker 1: felt like I was trying to do that with my 446 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:48,000 Speaker 1: mum by giving her a job and a house. Obviously, 447 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:49,680 Speaker 1: I'm not going to talk about that, but I feel 448 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:53,159 Speaker 1: like that just backfired on me. It's fucking disappointing. And 449 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,960 Speaker 1: the other thing that really upsets me too is I 450 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 1: have a lot of people that follow me who are 451 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,879 Speaker 1: my mom's age. I have a lot of mums following me, 452 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,280 Speaker 1: and I don't remember where I was the other day, 453 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:06,560 Speaker 1: I was somewhere with AJ and I ran into this 454 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:08,280 Speaker 1: lady like we're in a busy area. I don't know 455 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,680 Speaker 1: if we're like a restaurant, a cafe or whatever, a bar, 456 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,480 Speaker 1: And this lady who looked about my mom's age or 457 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,520 Speaker 1: maybe she was in her fifties or something, she was 458 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:18,720 Speaker 1: walking by and she's like, I love you, I love 459 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,159 Speaker 1: your videos, I love your business. You should be so 460 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,840 Speaker 1: proud of yourself. Like this is just some random, you know, 461 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,520 Speaker 1: fifty something woman, And that happens every now and then, 462 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,440 Speaker 1: Like I ran into older people who follow my. 463 00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,119 Speaker 2: With usked the other day at lunch. 464 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,679 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, and people on the street say that, and 465 00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:36,679 Speaker 1: it really like hits me hard when it's someone who 466 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:38,840 Speaker 1: is the same age as my parents when they say 467 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,000 Speaker 1: you should be so proud of yourself, and like, I'm 468 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,119 Speaker 1: so proud of you, like a fucking random I always 469 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:47,760 Speaker 1: get upset in that moment because obviously that's beautiful of 470 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,719 Speaker 1: someone to say, but I'm like, fuck, I don't have 471 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:53,679 Speaker 1: that in my life personally, and it's just like what 472 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,520 Speaker 1: a waste. What a wasted opportunity. 473 00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:00,040 Speaker 2: Do you have advice for anyone who is out and 474 00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:02,760 Speaker 2: now who's study a business who doesn't have a very 475 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,840 Speaker 2: strong support system, Do you have any advice on how 476 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,119 Speaker 2: they navigate that and like where do they kind of 477 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,879 Speaker 2: gather that strength to kind of persevere? You know, I 478 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:13,840 Speaker 2: guess that's quite a personal thing. But if you could 479 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:18,400 Speaker 2: kind of pinpoint something to pass on that same motivation 480 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:19,760 Speaker 2: that you have had, what would that be. 481 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,640 Speaker 1: Definitely lean on other people in your life that aren't 482 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,600 Speaker 1: your direct family. I've done that since I was young, 483 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,679 Speaker 1: since Jackie came into my life, she has been my 484 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 1: go to and I guess I've found it in other 485 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,000 Speaker 1: people as well. And then it gets me thinking, maybe 486 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,080 Speaker 1: that's why I always had a boyfriend, Like maybe I 487 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:38,199 Speaker 1: was always looking for someone to lean on because I 488 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,440 Speaker 1: didn't feel like I had anyone else to But I 489 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:42,960 Speaker 1: would say, embrace those people that are in your life. 490 00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:46,200 Speaker 1: You can make your friends your family one hundred percent. 491 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,200 Speaker 1: I know some people say you can't poo can choose 492 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:51,679 Speaker 1: your family. In my opinion, you absolutely can, and just 493 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,520 Speaker 1: back yourself. I feel like, especially going back to my 494 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,840 Speaker 1: childhood with my dad and everything, that happened. I could 495 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,480 Speaker 1: have went one way or the other. So glad that 496 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,440 Speaker 1: I went the other way in the direction that I did. 497 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,480 Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong, I was fucking devastated for years. 498 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,520 Speaker 1: I couldn't even get out of bed when I was 499 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:11,199 Speaker 1: like a teenager in high school. But I don't know. 500 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:15,400 Speaker 1: I guess I believed in myself and pushed myself, and 501 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:19,560 Speaker 1: if anything, I found it to be the fuel to 502 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,640 Speaker 1: my fire. And I think that's why, really deep down 503 00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:25,640 Speaker 1: I have achieved everything that I have is just by 504 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:28,560 Speaker 1: backing myself and believing myself. And I think when you 505 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 1: try things the way that I have, and you continually 506 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,760 Speaker 1: prove to yourself that you can achieve things, it just 507 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 1: pushes you to keep wanting to go further. So yeah, 508 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,040 Speaker 1: I guess that would be my advice. 509 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,320 Speaker 2: I just have to say, as your friend and your 510 00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:49,760 Speaker 2: producer and on behalf of all of the people that 511 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,480 Speaker 2: support you in your business in your personal life, that 512 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:55,159 Speaker 2: it is a real testament to hear you say what 513 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,600 Speaker 2: you've said today and see the person that you've become, 514 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,679 Speaker 2: because it would have been very easy for you to 515 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,399 Speaker 2: have gone the complete obosit direction, like you said before, 516 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,040 Speaker 2: and a lot of people do, and a lot of 517 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,800 Speaker 2: people struggle to break that cycle. Yes, and I think 518 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:11,399 Speaker 2: that you are a really great example for especially women, 519 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:14,080 Speaker 2: but kind of anyone out there who's in similar situations 520 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:18,960 Speaker 2: and haven't had easy upbringings that you can completely turn 521 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,879 Speaker 2: your life around and you can grab it by the 522 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,040 Speaker 2: rains and really make something incredible out of it. And 523 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,920 Speaker 2: I've had a great upbringing, but you like inspire even 524 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:31,119 Speaker 2: me that I can take life by the rains. So on, 525 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:34,720 Speaker 2: behalf of everyone listening and he supports his podcast. Thank 526 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:39,600 Speaker 2: you for that. Thanks just being a really great, lovely 527 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:41,800 Speaker 2: person for everyone. Stop it. 528 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,120 Speaker 1: Oh well, I'm so glad to have spoken about this 529 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,439 Speaker 1: on the podcast. I don't share my feelings often, and 530 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,320 Speaker 1: I feel like this was kind of harder to talk 531 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,440 Speaker 1: about than I thought it would be. I'm usually so 532 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:56,720 Speaker 1: confident with everything I say, but with this, obviously, you know, 533 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,720 Speaker 1: I don't speak about this kind of stuff often. But yeah, 534 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:02,639 Speaker 1: that's great advice from you, Xander to anyone out there 535 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:06,200 Speaker 1: who is facing adversity with your family or your support network, 536 00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:10,280 Speaker 1: fucking grab your life by the reins and fucking go 537 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,520 Speaker 1: for it, because that's what I do, and that may 538 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,400 Speaker 1: be the reason why I do it, but I've absolutely 539 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:18,600 Speaker 1: made the most out of it, and I think I've 540 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:22,119 Speaker 1: proven to myself that I can achieve anything and I 541 00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:24,960 Speaker 1: don't need as much as I would love to have 542 00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:28,600 Speaker 1: that support there. I can do it on my own anyway, 543 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:32,160 Speaker 1: my friends. That is that for today's episode of Big Business, 544 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,439 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm ending with a different feeling to 545 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:37,760 Speaker 1: how I normally do. Usually I'm feeling luck. I don't 546 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:41,360 Speaker 1: know I'm feeling different today, but let's end the episode 547 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,679 Speaker 1: with your tip of the week. My tip of the 548 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:49,080 Speaker 1: week on the theme of this whole episode is lean 549 00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:53,000 Speaker 1: on those around you. There are people out there who 550 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,640 Speaker 1: absolutely love you and would love for you to lean 551 00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:58,680 Speaker 1: on them, and you're not a bother to them anyway, 552 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,000 Speaker 1: my friends. As a way, I hope you've enjoyed listening. 553 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,679 Speaker 1: If you haven't already, feel free to hit me with 554 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,440 Speaker 1: a star rating on my pod, specifically five stars, but 555 00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 1: I don't accept anything other than but only five. You 556 00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:14,919 Speaker 1: heard it here first, and feel free to stay up 557 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 1: to date with me on socials. You all know my name, 558 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:19,880 Speaker 1: that's the name of my main account, but also feel 559 00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:23,200 Speaker 1: free to jump over to my Big Business Instagram account, 560 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:26,760 Speaker 1: where you can also contact me message me and thank 561 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:30,240 Speaker 1: you again so much Stephanie for sending through your question 562 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,639 Speaker 1: in my DMS, which has completely inspired this episode. And 563 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,439 Speaker 1: I hope after listening to this you know me a 564 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,400 Speaker 1: little better as well as my business journey and the 565 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,880 Speaker 1: whole thing of fate after listening. So I'll be back 566 00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:47,040 Speaker 1: on Wednesday with my bonus episode and every week after that.