Speaker 1: I've definitely dated, my fast share.
Speaker 2: Of douchebags, my time just get tingling, fling my balls.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm spiraling. Oh my God, tell us.
Speaker 2: Everything flame emojis left, right, and center.
Speaker 1: Matt loves a bit of God and.
Speaker 2: I need to affect you back. I really need you
Speaker 2: with that.
Speaker 1: I know I'm jealous. I'm the most jealous person ever.
Speaker 2: Relationships like a fart. If you have to force it,
Speaker 2: it's probably shit.
Speaker 1: Hisity dot com for you.
Speaker 3: I'll be a bloody single and alone with ten cats
Speaker 3: for the rest of my life.
Speaker 1: Lie Lie.
Speaker 2: On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we are
Speaker 2: talking about first dates and some of the crazy ones
Speaker 2: we have been on.
Speaker 3: We know they can be scary awkward, but we've got
Speaker 3: you covered. Stay tuned.
Speaker 1: Where's Your Head At is.
Speaker 3: A podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV,
Speaker 3: trending shows, and everything in between.
Speaker 2: This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip,
Speaker 2: intimate details, advice, and much more. Hey Matt, Hey, I know,
Speaker 2: how are you going.
Speaker 1: I'm going well today? How are you?
Speaker 2: I'm good? So the last time we chatted, you said
Speaker 2: you were going to have the chat is your man?
Speaker 2: How does that go. I mean, you're not crying and
Speaker 2: you're laughing, so could sign unless that's a nervous laugh. Wow,
Speaker 2: she just keeps laughing.
Speaker 3: Well, since we last spoke, I was telling you how
Speaker 3: I was in a bit of a situationship, how nothing
Speaker 3: was really defined, and you basically said to me that
Speaker 3: I should have that conversation. But before I even had
Speaker 3: the chance to have that conversation, he had the conversation.
Speaker 2: No way, So he was probably in the same boat
Speaker 2: as you, and he wanted to have the chat with you. Yeah,
Speaker 2: felt like in the same place.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So how it kind of came about was he listened
Speaker 3: to our first episode of Where's your Head Up where
Speaker 3: we talk about situationships, and he basically said to me,
Speaker 3: I kind of asked him about the podcast, and I
Speaker 3: was like, is there anything that you weren't okay with
Speaker 3: or things that you were worried about that I said
Speaker 3: during our podcast because obviously we're being very open and
Speaker 3: honest and raw. And he was like, no, Like the
Speaker 3: podcast is great, being supportive.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 1: Tick tick yeah, double tick.
Speaker 3: He basically said to me, I just want to make
Speaker 3: sure that you would have that chat with me if
Speaker 3: you wanted to progress things or move things further, because
Speaker 3: I basically said in our episode that I would be
Speaker 3: too scared to have that chat.
Speaker 2: So was that him initiating it then?
Speaker 3: Yeah, smooth, yeah. And then I was kind of like, well,
Speaker 3: I don't think I would initiate that chat with you.
Speaker 1: And then he was like, well, do you want to
Speaker 1: be exclusive with me?
Speaker 3: Was all exciting, and then I was like, yeah, like
Speaker 3: I would, I would love to be exclusive with you.
Speaker 1: And then we both got a little bit.
Speaker 2: So where set the scene? Where are you?
Speaker 3: So we're basically going on a date at dinner date
Speaker 3: and he came to mind first to have a wine.
Speaker 2: So you're exclusive with your man.
Speaker 1: It's so funny. I call him my man. It's so
Speaker 1: weird that yes. Continue.
Speaker 2: The big question here is have you deleted your dating apps?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's going to the next stages now.
Speaker 3: I mean yeah, I think so it's moving in the
Speaker 3: right direction. I'm really happy.
Speaker 2: Congratulations, I'm happy for you. It's good to see you all.
Speaker 2: Love duf and smiling.
Speaker 1: Love is the strong. But yeah, I'm really happy.
Speaker 3: Yes, Okay, enough about me, because I'm feeling a bit
Speaker 3: uncomfortable and stressed. Tell me about your love life, because
Speaker 3: the little Bertie told me that you went on an
Speaker 3: extra session first date recently.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, how topical is that that I went on
Speaker 2: a first date on the weekend. Let's put it this way,
Speaker 2: as far as first dates go, it was. It was amazing.
Speaker 2: So we went and got a cocktail and we went
Speaker 2: for a walk around the town. There's a big thing
Speaker 2: I look for, and it's energy in a partner. Now,
Speaker 2: I've been in relationships with the energy did not make
Speaker 2: me feel comfortable the whole time I was on edge
Speaker 2: with her. I just like, I just felt so comfortable. Nothing, nothing,
Speaker 2: I didn't feel stressed like it was just it was magical.
Speaker 2: It was good.
Speaker 1: It was magical. Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So you just felt really comfortable in her presence,
Speaker 3: and you guys just clicked.
Speaker 2: We just clicked so much to the point that that
Speaker 2: was Saturday at two o'clock and I didn't leave with
Speaker 2: her till like Monday.
Speaker 1: So how was how many days? Does that make it?
Speaker 2: That you were with it for forty eight hours?
Speaker 3: So since the first date you didn't leave her side
Speaker 3: for forty eight hours?
Speaker 1: Did she feel the same way? Was she like, can
Speaker 1: this guy leave already? I don't want to be rude.
Speaker 2: It was a couple of times where I was like, like,
Speaker 2: should we leave, and she's like, no, just keep hanging out,
Speaker 2: and just kept hanging out. And then Tuesday I saw
Speaker 2: her again, and this is really.
Speaker 1: Cute, Matt.
Speaker 3: I can tell that you're really happy. And I said
Speaker 3: it to you earlier and I'm going to say it again.
Speaker 3: I feel like your energy is so positive, you're so happy,
Speaker 3: you're seeing the world through a new.
Speaker 2: Less I am. I honestly am. I've seen everything completely different.
Speaker 2: She's really cool, Like we just get along. I'm actually yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't even know what to say. I'm getting speechless
Speaker 2: for the first time.
Speaker 3: Question when did you guys actually start talking before you
Speaker 3: went on the first day?
Speaker 2: So this is a real interesting one. Actually, she I
Speaker 2: don't remember exactly, but I messaged her six years ago.
Speaker 1: So this is a slow burn.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm message her in twenty fifteen. I'm not sure
Speaker 2: if I met her through Instagram or through a dating app,
Speaker 2: but our messages on Instagram go back to twenty fifteen.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then she got into a long term relationship
Speaker 2: and I'd just sling a reaction here and there. I'd
Speaker 2: see a post with their boyfriend. So I was like, ah,
Speaker 2: you know, I won't you know, respectful, be respectful. I
Speaker 2: won't pursue anything. And then obviously, naturally you start seeing
Speaker 2: stories and if someone breaks up with someone, their stories
Speaker 2: and their Instagram feed changes.
Speaker 1: It does there's a ship.
Speaker 2: There's a shit everyone can pick up when that happens.
Speaker 2: And I I shot her a message and I said, hey,
Speaker 2: are you single? And she said, yeah, I am. We're
Speaker 2: in We're in the awkward stages of like when you
Speaker 2: first broke up with the long term yeah. And I said, hey,
Speaker 2: I said, look, well that happens I know firsthand. I
Speaker 2: was like, that happens to a lot of us. I said,
Speaker 2: shoot me a message when you're ready to get a drink.
Speaker 1: And then I'll be waiting with.
Speaker 2: And then she shot me a message. She's like, I'm
Speaker 2: ready to get that drink now.
Speaker 1: And then you, guys, were not the best say you've
Speaker 1: ever been on?
Speaker 2: Yes, definitely the first?
Speaker 3: Do you think and then this is probably way too premature,
Speaker 3: but do you think she's the one because I've never
Speaker 3: seen you like this before, Matt, Like ever, Look, it's.
Speaker 2: A massive call issue. The one I want to be
Speaker 2: as honest as possible on this podcast, but I need
Speaker 2: to play it cool at the time.
Speaker 1: He doesn't want to dig his own great reckon.
Speaker 2: She's going to listen to this and if she hears
Speaker 2: me going, she's the one. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Just so we're just going to pause that question and
Speaker 3: we'll come back to you guys in a few episodes
Speaker 3: with the X.
Speaker 2: I don't want to scare her away. Like, imagine me
Speaker 2: if I scare away on the next episode. Yeah, well
Speaker 2: there'd be tears.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that will be inconsolable if this doesn't work out.
Speaker 3: So let's all say a small prayer tonight at bed
Speaker 3: from Matt and the future of his mental health in.
Speaker 1: The relationship.
Speaker 2: Work out.
Speaker 3: Okay, So dating is stressful and challenging at the best
Speaker 3: of times, and it's a bit of a mine field
Speaker 3: out there. So we're giving you our doo's and don'ts
Speaker 3: to make sure you nail your first date.
Speaker 2: All right. So I've got a list of the don'ts.
Speaker 1: I'm excited.
Speaker 2: I've started off with one that I think is very
Speaker 2: big and very important. Is and I know I'm guilty
Speaker 2: of it. I know a lot of people that I've
Speaker 2: been on dates with this don't talk about your ex.
Speaker 1: Do not talk about your ax.
Speaker 3: That is a that's a no no, and that you're
Speaker 3: already giving yourself a red flag exactly.
Speaker 2: Another one is don't let them know that you've stalked
Speaker 2: them on social media. So don't sit there and be like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: was that from your trip in Italy in.
Speaker 1: Two thousand and seven?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they'll be like, wait, how do you know that?
Speaker 2: So just don't let them know. Obviously we all do it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's what we do these days, but just don't let
Speaker 2: them know because that can come across a bit intimidating.
Speaker 1: Play it a bit cool. Don't be too intense.
Speaker 3: Ask them like, if you know that they've been to Italy,
Speaker 3: then say have you been to Europe? And then you
Speaker 3: can be you know, that's a leading question and hopefully
Speaker 3: they'll tell you about that, and then in the future
Speaker 3: that you can talk about their two thousand and seven
Speaker 3: Italy trips, hopefully.
Speaker 2: Everything they did. Don't check your phone, so I think
Speaker 2: that you should sit your phone and do not disturb upright,
Speaker 2: because I think a red flag early is if someone
Speaker 2: sits their phone over the other way, it means they've
Speaker 2: got something to hide. So what I actually is, I
Speaker 2: like to put my phone face up, sit on the table,
Speaker 2: but have it on, do not disturb, so none of
Speaker 2: the nothing comes.
Speaker 1: On, none, none of the notifications are popping out.
Speaker 2: And I'm not tempted to have a look.
Speaker 3: I mean, I just think, put your phone away. I
Speaker 3: just think, don't even have it on the table. Everyone's different,
Speaker 3: but it's just a distraction. And I think it's important
Speaker 3: on a first date to show that person you're giving
Speaker 3: them your full.
Speaker 2: Attention divided attention.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I'm here, We're on a day, it's going
Speaker 3: for an hour and here I am.
Speaker 1: Let's see how we.
Speaker 2: Go, all right, And this one, this one can give
Speaker 2: you the ick real quick. Like if I see this,
Speaker 2: I'm off and straight away. I can't run quick enough.
Speaker 2: It's don't be rude to the staff.
Speaker 1: Deal breaker.
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, I've seen some people be rude to the
Speaker 2: staff and I'm just straight off them.
Speaker 3: It cringes me out to my call. It's just if
Speaker 3: you like treat people the way you want to be treated.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's no need to show off and be rude
Speaker 2: to them, and like it's not going to get you anywhere.
Speaker 2: And it's like it's going to turn the other person off.
Speaker 1: It's ugly and it's unattractive.
Speaker 2: You mentioned it before. Don't come on too strong. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so that means don't tell him you love them. Don't
Speaker 2: tell him like I'm going to put a ring on you,
Speaker 2: on you on your finger. Yeah, don't tell them.
Speaker 1: Don't do it. Don't do it. Matts.
Speaker 3: Matt's renowned for coming on way too strong.
Speaker 2: Zero to one hundred.
Speaker 3: Baby, we've all been there, And go to somewhere where
Speaker 3: you're not going to bump into people that you know as.
Speaker 2: Well, and somewhere that you feel comfortable totally. So don't
Speaker 2: go somewhere that's out of your price range, or don't
Speaker 2: go somewhere where, like say, it's just not who you are. Like,
Speaker 2: go somewhere that you feel comfortable in and that you're
Speaker 2: going to make them feel good. Yeap. Don't swear. That's
Speaker 2: I think that's a big one, and I think we're
Speaker 2: going to turn off. And when someone's just swearing heaps.
Speaker 3: Oh god, I don't have that. I not not like badly, sir,
Speaker 3: but I might.
Speaker 2: Like I'm going to finish on this one. I think
Speaker 2: it's very important. Don't worry if they like you worry
Speaker 2: if you like them.
Speaker 1: Amen, that is a huge one.
Speaker 3: We go on first dates and I think we're so
Speaker 3: concerned about them liking us and we don't even know
Speaker 3: if we even like them, Like, who cares if they
Speaker 3: like us?
Speaker 1: If we aren't even sure about them?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Now, if the date is going really well, would
Speaker 3: you sleep with someone after a first date?
Speaker 2: Oh, this is a genuine question.
Speaker 1: Well, like when do I not say them after a No?
Speaker 2: I would, and I would sleep with the Master a
Speaker 2: first date. Yes, but I have I have in the
Speaker 2: past had a little like thought like I don't want
Speaker 2: them to think I'm just sleeping with them for like
Speaker 2: a one night stand if it has gone really well. Okay,
Speaker 2: so there's that thought does cross my mind. But if
Speaker 2: they just want it to be a one night stand,
Speaker 2: they just want it to be a one night stand.
Speaker 2: I mean, I can't argue that I can try my
Speaker 2: hardest the next next time to win them back for
Speaker 2: something more. But yeah, I would sleep with the Master
Speaker 2: at first date. I say, yeah, I know that you've
Speaker 2: got you've got a five date rule or something I do.
Speaker 2: And Fee is enlightened us about that. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean, look, I obviously don't want to sleep with
Speaker 3: everyone who I go on a first date with to
Speaker 3: start with, I don't really have one night stands. So yeah,
Speaker 3: I guess I just developed my little five date rule
Speaker 3: poly and I think it's it's not for them, it's
Speaker 3: more for myself. Like I, five dates is a lot,
Speaker 3: five days is a lot, but I think for me,
Speaker 3: I put a lot of emphasis on having sex with someone,
Speaker 3: Like I wouldn't really have sex with someone unless I
Speaker 3: really like them. So during those five days, like that's
Speaker 3: at least a minimum of five hours that I've spent
Speaker 3: with that person. At a minimum, it's majority of the time,
Speaker 3: a lot more time that I've spent with them. But yeah,
Speaker 3: I think during that time frame, I get comfortable with them,
Speaker 3: I feel more respected. Sometimes after that five dates or
Speaker 3: before it, I get to three dates and I'm like, actually,
Speaker 3: I don't even want to sleep with you, and then
Speaker 3: I move on. So I think for me, it's always
Speaker 3: worked out really well. And yeah, it's just something that
Speaker 3: I enjoyed doing. And honestly, I think the more time
Speaker 3: I've spent with someone and gotten to know them really well,
Speaker 3: the better the sex ends up being.
Speaker 2: It is common to that, and I like I've met
Speaker 2: a lot of girls to do the three date.
Speaker 3: Rule, how would you go with with going through the
Speaker 3: five date rule process?
Speaker 2: Date, they'd be quick dates. Each would be something quick.
Speaker 3: Look that would be like, Okay, so we've just gone
Speaker 3: to dinner, I'm actually going to pick you up in
Speaker 3: the morning for breakfast. We have a lunch date for
Speaker 3: a day, and I've actually booked a movie date for
Speaker 3: seven pm.
Speaker 2: Ready. No. Look, if the girl, like if I was
Speaker 2: vibing her a lot and she was saying, I would
Speaker 2: happily do five dates. That's that's what she wants to do,
Speaker 2: I'm more than happy to.
Speaker 3: Something that definitely crosses my mind as a woman going
Speaker 3: on like dates with guys, and I feel like a
Speaker 3: lot of guys I've dated are a bit fuck boy.
Speaker 3: Five is that men kind of place women they go
Speaker 3: on dates with into two categories. So there's the fun
Speaker 3: category and then there's the WiFi category.
Speaker 1: Would you agree with that?
Speaker 2: H I think that in this day and age, we're
Speaker 2: all guilty of doing this. Yeah. I think men women
Speaker 2: and I think you know pretty early into a date
Speaker 2: what category are going to put them in. But I
Speaker 2: believed there's a third category as well, So it can
Speaker 2: either be like fun YEP or Wi Fi relationship or
Speaker 2: you're just not interested in friend zone zone.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so and I think really early on you would
Speaker 2: know what they're going to be in.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And there's nothing wrong with getting that feeling and
Speaker 3: following that intuition that you feel and going with it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Think and people leave each category, do you.
Speaker 1: Think you've miscategorized them?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you've miscategorized them. She said, Oh, I want
Speaker 2: this one for fun, and then you're like, hang on,
Speaker 2: this could be my future wife my future hasn't.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't think I've ever miscategorized someone.
Speaker 2: Have you my ex? I've slept with her for four
Speaker 2: years and then so I had her in that category
Speaker 2: and then I realized, hang on, like she's fucking like
Speaker 2: I like this girl. Wow.
Speaker 3: So you were friends with benefits with your ex for
Speaker 3: four years and then you decided that you had made
Speaker 3: a mistake.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I just saw it from a different light
Speaker 2: with fresh eyes, and I was like, hang on, like.
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with Yeah.
Speaker 2: Cool, you're giving me what I want, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean? Like, you're like you're taking a lot of boxes.
Speaker 1: And then you made it official after that long?
Speaker 2: Yeah, after four years?
Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, I did not know that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a decent amount of time. So from
Speaker 2: eighteen to twenty two.
Speaker 3: Is that like a one off? Because I haven't really
Speaker 3: heard many stories like that that long.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've never heard it either. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: So forty one percent of people say that they take
Speaker 3: two to three minutes to decide if they want a
Speaker 3: second date.
Speaker 2: Wow, that's really quick.
Speaker 1: That's quick, isn't it.
Speaker 2: How long do you think it takes you?
Speaker 3: If I'm being really honest with myself, I think I
Speaker 3: know quite quickly. So I would tend to agree with
Speaker 3: that stat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, in that two to three minutes, I mean.
Speaker 3: Maybe a little bit longer. I definitely would give people
Speaker 3: the benefit of the doubt. And I think people definitely
Speaker 3: can surprise you. But for me, I think on a
Speaker 3: first date, I'm picking up on someone's energy. If I'm
Speaker 3: attracted to them, If I can feel their energy back
Speaker 3: and I can feel that they're attracted to me, very important.
Speaker 3: How I'm feeling, like, how they're making me feel. I
Speaker 3: guess sometimes it doesn't matter how good looking someone is,
Speaker 3: or how smart someone is, or how rich they are,
Speaker 3: if those key elements aren't there's like there's nothing that
Speaker 3: you can really do about that. And I think it's
Speaker 3: important to remember that on a first date, you can
Speaker 3: be the best version of yourself. Your chat can be
Speaker 3: on point, but sometimes it's nothing that you've done wrong.
Speaker 2: It's just not there.
Speaker 1: It's not there.
Speaker 3: Sometimes that spark and energy just isn't there and there's
Speaker 3: nothing you can do about it. How long would you say, I'd.
Speaker 2: Give it the whole time and when I leave and
Speaker 2: how they make me feel afterwards.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you wait for the dew of the date
Speaker 1: to make a decision.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then more how I feel after them, like
Speaker 2: when I leave and I'm like, well, how is that?
Speaker 2: And I reflect back on it. Yeah, because I think
Speaker 2: it's way too early to decide in that, like when
Speaker 2: you're there with them and there's like stuff going on,
Speaker 2: you're talking about stuff. You're like, there's like like you say,
Speaker 2: if as at a restaurant, there's people like talking around you,
Speaker 2: there's like waiters and all that. I think it's way
Speaker 2: too early. But look, I know early on if I'm
Speaker 2: attracted to them, yeah, very early on. But to give
Speaker 2: it for a second day, I would see how it goes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, look, it's definitely you have to keep
Speaker 3: an open mind throughout the whole day.
Speaker 1: So I totally agree with that.
Speaker 3: I think you can't just write someone off too soon,
Speaker 3: but I think there's a gut feeling where you deep down.
Speaker 3: Probably no, if you really are intuitive and are listening
Speaker 3: to that.
Speaker 2: Look, there's a lot of terrible first date stories out there.
Speaker 2: I think we've both got a couple. So what is
Speaker 2: your most horrific one?
Speaker 3: Okay, look, I'm not going to say it's my most
Speaker 3: horrific first date, but it's definitely the strangest.
Speaker 1: First date I've ever been on. Let's start there.
Speaker 3: So basically, I was probably eighteen, fresh eighteen.
Speaker 1: I was at a club. I met this guy.
Speaker 3: He was normal, he was my type, had long hair,
Speaker 3: he was a bit of a vibe. We made out
Speaker 3: on the dance floor, and then I didn't see him
Speaker 3: for like six or seven years. He just kind of
Speaker 3: disappeared off the face of the planet. Anyway, he just disappeared.
Speaker 1: I didn't know where he went.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was fine because who cares, Like I was,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, doing my thing. She was
Speaker 3: obviously doing his thing and whatever. But he did have
Speaker 3: Instagram and we did follow each other, and then one
Speaker 3: day he just started posting photos of himself in the
Speaker 3: middle of Bali, in the middle of nowhere, and he
Speaker 3: kind of had become this real hippie looking guy, like
Speaker 3: his shoulder length long hair was down to his you know, nipples,
Speaker 3: had long hair, he had.
Speaker 1: A beard, like he had gone full hippie vibes.
Speaker 2: Did you were you into that?
Speaker 3: I mean he was a good looking guy, but was
Speaker 3: like into it, Like maybe not, but you know, he
Speaker 3: was still cool.
Speaker 1: Whatever it is, what it is.
Speaker 3: And then he yeah, he started posting photos in this
Speaker 3: village that he had then all of a sudden created
Speaker 3: or it was a little commune with five other people there.
Speaker 1: All of them were women. There was a child there.
Speaker 2: Wait, what.
Speaker 1: Are you following the story? Okay, wait for it.
Speaker 3: Anyway, I could a random Instagram message from this guy
Speaker 3: seven years later and he's like, hey, we should catch up.
Speaker 3: And I was like recently broken up from my ex
Speaker 3: boyfriend of six and a half years. That was quite
Speaker 3: soon after, and I was like, I haven't been on
Speaker 3: a date in a long time.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna.
Speaker 2: Go is this your first date?
Speaker 3: Then out of a out of my long term relationship.
Speaker 3: Oh no, buck laugh, it's about to.
Speaker 1: Get wire anyway.
Speaker 3: So he was like, let's, you know, do a beach
Speaker 3: walk and I was like, sure, sounds great. I get
Speaker 3: there and he's just totally different and he starts telling
Speaker 3: me about this life he's built in Bali and the
Speaker 3: more he's telling me, the more I'm thinking this is
Speaker 3: sounding a bit like a cult. So I have flat
Speaker 3: out asked him. I was like, what, so flat out
Speaker 3: asked him. I was like, wait, is this a cult?
Speaker 3: And then he basically said to me, you know, the
Speaker 3: rest of the western civilized world would see it as
Speaker 3: a cult, but I personally do not see it as
Speaker 3: a cult. I just live in freedom and harmony with
Speaker 3: the people who have a like minded ability to see
Speaker 3: the world through the eyes of I don't even know what,
Speaker 3: but whatever bullshit, because I think that's what it was
Speaker 3: he gave me, and I was, you know, I was open.
Speaker 1: I am an open person.
Speaker 3: I'm going to listen to what you have to say
Speaker 3: and I'm going to take it on board, and then
Speaker 3: I'm going to make my own decision. Anyway, He's a
Speaker 3: really sweet guy. So we started our beach walk, and
Speaker 3: even before we.
Speaker 1: Had started walking.
Speaker 3: He basically said to me, Hey, do you mind if
Speaker 3: I constantly shoulder to shoulder with you or touch you.
Speaker 1: When I was.
Speaker 3: Growing up, my mother didn't nurture me. So now as
Speaker 3: an adult, I need constant nurturing. And what everyone in
Speaker 3: my community community cult does So they're just constantly touching
Speaker 3: and like you would probably love it, to be honest,
Speaker 3: constant affection.
Speaker 2: So where is this guy right now? What's Instagram handle? Anyway?
Speaker 3: Then he was like we kind of like walked to
Speaker 3: the beach shoulder to shoulder. He was like, let's do
Speaker 3: some breathing exercises together and like breathe in each other's energy.
Speaker 3: I was like sure, like that's fun, Like you know,
Speaker 3: I like to meditate, So I was like, you know,
Speaker 3: I'm open to this. Whatever. Then he asked me after
Speaker 3: the beach walk if I'd like to come back to
Speaker 3: his house and we could maybe.
Speaker 1: Watch a movie.
Speaker 2: What was the movie?
Speaker 1: It was like David Attenborough.
Speaker 2: Some brainwashing one try to get trying.
Speaker 3: To get me in, but no, so I was like, yeah, sure,
Speaker 3: like we can go back to yours.
Speaker 2: David adambur is good.
Speaker 3: I mean, look, David Addamburoh's good. But it's not what
Speaker 3: you think when you're gonna go watch a movie with someone.
Speaker 3: So when we first arrive at his house, he asked
Speaker 3: me if I want a glass of.
Speaker 1: Water, and I was like, yeah, sure.
Speaker 3: So he basically has a box of spring water, he
Speaker 3: palls it into the glass, and then he gets a
Speaker 3: secondary glass and starts.
Speaker 1: How do I describe this?
Speaker 3: He's basically putting the glass of full water up in
Speaker 3: the sky, tipping it down into the gas the empty glass,
Speaker 3: and repeating that motion. So he's creating the He's creating
Speaker 3: the effect of a waterfall. Because I want I asked him.
Speaker 1: I was like, so, what are you doing with my water?
Speaker 3: I just wanted a glass of water, nothing too exciting,
Speaker 3: And he basically explained to me that he only drinks
Speaker 3: water from the fountain in his community where he lives
Speaker 3: in rural Bali, and so therefore he wanted to make
Speaker 3: sure that the water that he was giving me was
Speaker 3: water in motion. And look, that was kind of the
Speaker 3: first red flag where I was thinking.
Speaker 2: That was the first red flag.
Speaker 1: Maybe I was a bit blinded.
Speaker 3: By his beautiful long hair and tan skin from being
Speaker 3: in the Barlei jungle. Fair enough, and I mean look,
Speaker 3: the date did get strange some of the things that
Speaker 3: he was saying, which is very strange, very intense. He
Speaker 3: was asking me to move to Bali, to this cult like.
Speaker 1: Community with him.
Speaker 3: But then the weirdest thing was is that at the
Speaker 3: end of the date, when I was about to leave,
Speaker 3: he wanted to kiss me. He asked me, Hey, can
Speaker 3: I kiss you? And I was just like, oh, might
Speaker 3: as well. I'm probably never gonna see this guy again,
Speaker 3: but sure, why not. Anyway, the kissing style that he
Speaker 3: did was so wild, Like I like to kiss people
Speaker 3: who are good kissing. We've had this conversation, like the
Speaker 3: first when I got on a date with someone. The
Speaker 3: first thing I'll say to Matt is I'm like he's
Speaker 3: a good kisser or he's not so good or whatever.
Speaker 2: Yep, that's important.
Speaker 1: It's important. This guy was like, I don't even know
Speaker 1: what he was doing. He was like poking.
Speaker 3: His tongue in and out like rapid fire, but not
Speaker 3: like in a smooth, circular, relaxing motion. It was very aggressive.
Speaker 3: And then I asked him, which is maybe rude, but
Speaker 3: I was like, what type of kissing style is this?
Speaker 3: And he was like, oh, this is what everyone in
Speaker 3: the community. Does this is the type of kissing that
Speaker 3: we all do?
Speaker 1: Anyway, it was very strange used to when he moved
Speaker 1: moved into the jungle.
Speaker 3: And the guy basically was trying to recruit me into
Speaker 3: his cult. Long story short, and look, it was the
Speaker 3: strange estate that I've ever been on.
Speaker 1: I know, that's a lot to take it.
Speaker 3: It's a lot for me to relive and process and
Speaker 3: tell again.
Speaker 2: I have so many questions. I don't even know where
Speaker 2: to begin. I would never have gone back to the house.
Speaker 1: I was just interested.
Speaker 2: Curiosity killed the cat.
Speaker 3: Curiosity definitely killed the cat, even on the beach walks.
Speaker 3: Some of the things that he was saying were very wild.
Speaker 3: He was clearly the leader of the cult. So I mean,
Speaker 3: I was just interested to see and you know what,
Speaker 3: I wasn't disappointed. It was. It was a crazy, crazy
Speaker 3: hour of my life. Matt speechless.
Speaker 2: Did you ever consider going to Bali?
Speaker 3: I actually was in Bali like a year later, and
Speaker 3: I thought about potentially going there for like a night
Speaker 3: or two, just to see what it was like, because
Speaker 3: I'm all about having new and fun experiences.
Speaker 1: But then a part of me was just like no.
Speaker 3: Anna, just no tell me about your strange estate though, Well,
Speaker 3: strangers are most horrific.
Speaker 1: What do you want to what do you want to share?
Speaker 2: I mean, I've had a lot of horrific dates where
Speaker 2: where you meet up with soon and like they just
Speaker 2: can't hold a conversation and it's just boring, like you're
Speaker 2: talking to them. I remember one we organized a movie
Speaker 2: after dinner. Yeah, and I really wanted to watch that movie,
Speaker 2: and I'd bought the tickets beforehand, and I knew well
Speaker 2: into like well into dinner, I was like, I can't
Speaker 2: do this much longer. We left the restaurant and went
Speaker 2: to the went to the cinema and we were sitting
Speaker 2: in the waiting room for half an hour just not
Speaker 2: talking because it was just I just couldn't talk to her.
Speaker 1: But you can talk to a brick wall.
Speaker 2: No, she was just so gland and boring. I just
Speaker 2: I just was just like, oh my god, was great alien.
Speaker 2: It's great. One of the new ones. But another strange
Speaker 2: date that I took a girl on. She probably tells
Speaker 2: a story it was, it's strange. I said, all right,
Speaker 2: I'll pick you up, and I I borrowed one of
Speaker 2: my dad's company's work utes and I had to do
Speaker 2: a little bit of running around before the date with her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, you did it chill.
Speaker 2: Two birds with one stone before dinner. So I had
Speaker 2: a bit of furniture I needed to pick up.
Speaker 1: So nah, she's.
Speaker 3: Telling her friends about her worst date ever, and it's
Speaker 3: that day right there.
Speaker 1: I went on a first day and this guy took
Speaker 1: me to do some errands.
Speaker 2: So we went, we went and picked up and this
Speaker 2: is hilarious. So we went and picked up like, I've
Speaker 2: got this like wardrobe off gum Tree and they left
Speaker 2: it out the front of their house and so we
Speaker 2: pull up in the U and she's lifted onto the
Speaker 2: back of the U. Then we went and picked off
Speaker 2: a wine rack, and then we went to dinner.
Speaker 1: God, what did she say? Was she like cool about it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, she was just like yeah cool.
Speaker 1: I probably actd cool about it too.
Speaker 3: It's not like she's going to be like, no, we're
Speaker 3: not doing this, So she was probably in her head like,
Speaker 3: oh my god.
Speaker 2: I dated it for a couple of months afterwards.
Speaker 1: So he didn't do too bad.
Speaker 2: I didn't do too bad.
Speaker 3: So we've come up with a list to make first
Speaker 3: dates less awkward and way more chill.
Speaker 1: Okay. So the first one is just start the date
Speaker 1: with a smile and a hug.
Speaker 2: That's very important. So if you're meeting someone and you're
Speaker 2: walking up to him, there's nothing less intimidating than someone
Speaker 2: that's smiling. And like we said earlier, that touch established
Speaker 2: that touch earlier. So that hug has established that touch,
Speaker 2: and it will make things less awkward down the.
Speaker 3: Track, breaking the barrier, you're making things comfortable.
Speaker 1: It's a win win, yep. Okay.
Speaker 3: The next one is prepare at least one story. So
Speaker 3: if worse comes to worst and you literally are looking
Speaker 3: at that person like you were looking when like you
Speaker 3: were sitting outside of the movies for thirty minutes and
Speaker 3: had nothing to say, you pull out your best pre
Speaker 3: prepared story and give it to them straight.
Speaker 2: Do you have one task? What yours is?
Speaker 1: I mean, I.
Speaker 3: Think travels all go to one of mine. I would
Speaker 3: just yeah, I'd talk about where the next place I
Speaker 3: want to visit is, so I do.
Speaker 2: Travel as well, so then I can somehow work into
Speaker 2: it that I was an international model that in.
Speaker 1: Of course you do. How they not surprised?
Speaker 3: Okay, And the next one is talk about surroundings with
Speaker 3: them so if you've got nothing to talk about, talk
Speaker 3: about the waiter, talk about the weather, talk about the
Speaker 3: girl in the distance.
Speaker 1: Who just fell over.
Speaker 2: People watch it, people watch it.
Speaker 3: We thought this one was a cute one. If you
Speaker 3: like them, give them a non physical compliment closer to
Speaker 3: the end of the day, right, Yes.
Speaker 2: That's a big one because obviously everyone on a first
Speaker 2: date they go off looks and that, so it'd be
Speaker 2: nice to give them one like hey, I really like
Speaker 2: that story, or hey, like you were really smart or
Speaker 2: something like that, you know, just something that makes them
Speaker 2: feel really warm and wholesome inside.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think nothing beats a non physical compliment.
Speaker 3: So if someone said to me, oh my god, you're
Speaker 3: so smart, I'm so impressed, or hey, Matt, you're really funny,
Speaker 3: Like I can't believe how funny you are.
Speaker 2: I actually do get that a lot. In the first No,
Speaker 2: I'll tell you something, I'll tell.
Speaker 3: You I telling you money, I was saying, hypothetically seeking,
Speaker 3: and you've somehow taken that compliment on board.
Speaker 1: Unbelievable, Okay.
Speaker 3: And then the last one we said is just laugh
Speaker 3: and enjoy the day, Like if you're going on a
Speaker 3: date with someone you know that you're kind of giving
Speaker 3: up an hour of your time. If you get there
Speaker 3: and you're kind of like, I'm not really into them.
Speaker 3: You know what, you can still have a dream with
Speaker 3: this person, you make friends with them. You can still
Speaker 3: make friends with them, you can have a laugh with them.
Speaker 3: Just commit to the hour, have a good time, and
Speaker 3: see what happens from there. It's better to sit there
Speaker 3: and actually have good chats, have a good conversation, and
Speaker 3: have a nice time than to sit there and be
Speaker 3: looking at the time.
Speaker 2: You can use it as training for your.
Speaker 3: Next first day exactually right, especially if you don't like them,
Speaker 3: then you can.
Speaker 2: You can use it as you can try some really
Speaker 2: left or field like jokes. Jokes does different tactics on
Speaker 2: how to make a first date work. All right, and
Speaker 2: so the date's gone, Well, you've done all the dudes
Speaker 2: and all the don'ts, you've left, now you've had a
Speaker 2: first kiss. How long till you text them?
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know if this is a little
Speaker 3: bit toxic, but I wouldn't really message your guy after
Speaker 3: a first date.
Speaker 1: I always wait for them to text me.
Speaker 2: Hell really hard to get then.
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess I just kind of see it.
Speaker 2: Like, but can't you see there waiting for him to
Speaker 2: tear you and they're not.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 3: I go on the first date and then I just
Speaker 3: move on with life and I'm like, if they want
Speaker 3: to talk to me, I'm going to hear from them,
Speaker 3: and if not, then I won't And I just sleep
Speaker 3: easy at night knowing that whatever is meant to be
Speaker 3: will be.
Speaker 2: Really, I find it so attractive when a girl messaged
Speaker 2: you first after a first date. Do yeah, After my
Speaker 2: first date on the weekend, I got it wrong. After
Speaker 2: my first date on the week I don't know if
Speaker 2: you call it a first date. I have my three
Speaker 2: day affair. Yeah, she messaged me like after half an
Speaker 2: hour after I left, And I found that so attractive.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you were like, yes, this is like a
Speaker 1: double tick.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was in another extra tick, but I take
Speaker 2: I feel the girl and like, it was a nice date.
Speaker 2: I'll message her the next day. Yeah, even message I
Speaker 2: hope you got home safe something like that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like it's not usually a problem.
Speaker 3: I feel like I find it really attractive when a
Speaker 3: date finishes and a guide messages me and says, hey,
Speaker 3: I had a really good time, Like I'd love to
Speaker 3: see you again. And then from that moment on all
Speaker 3: I this same. Yeah, I would love to or just
Speaker 3: great meeting you, but I see you guys.
Speaker 2: Just a friend all right, guys, So that's all we've
Speaker 2: got time for on this episode. Hopefully those does and
Speaker 2: dotes help you when you're on your next first date.
Speaker 1: Yeah, hopefully you smash those first dates.
Speaker 3: We want to hear all about them, so make sure
Speaker 3: you let us know how they go at Where's your
Speaker 3: Head at?
Speaker 1: Pod?
Speaker 3: Also, we would love it if you guys would give
Speaker 3: us a review. It really means a lot to us.
Speaker 3: We're a small podcast and those reviews go such a
Speaker 3: long way.
Speaker 2: They're very important to us. We like to hear what
Speaker 2: you guys like and what you don't like.
Speaker 1: So what's on our next episode, Matt.
Speaker 2: We are discussing toxic relationships, so we're getting to the bottom.
Speaker 2: Are weither toxic one or are they?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: And it's going to be interesting, so make sure you
Speaker 3: stay tuned. We're going to be asking you, guys some
Speaker 3: very very interesting questions on our Instagram page, so make
Speaker 3: sure you're following that and we will see you next time.
Speaker 2: Bye bye,