WEBVTT - Mini Motivation: Making behaviour change stick

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<v Speaker 1>If you're at a point with your health where you

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<v Speaker 1>want answers, answers to your low energy, answers to that

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<v Speaker 1>stubborn weight that won't shift, then I've got the solution

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<v Speaker 1>for you. I've partnered with the most amazing integrative GP

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<v Speaker 1>to bring you Inner Vitality, a brand new online program

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<v Speaker 1>that uses over fifty bio markers to give you an

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<v Speaker 1>accurate picture of your unique biochemistry and any imbalances. Then,

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<v Speaker 1>over eight weeks, we educate you on these markers and

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<v Speaker 1>implement the small but powerful changes needed to restore your

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<v Speaker 1>internal balance. Visit the link in the show notes to

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<v Speaker 1>find out more. This is Healthy Heer with Amelia Phillips

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<v Speaker 1>and welcome to one of my mini motivation episodes.

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<v Speaker 2>These are shorter episodes.

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<v Speaker 1>Where we tackle one specific issue and give you really actionable,

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<v Speaker 1>practical advice on how to overcome it. Today, NLP Master

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<v Speaker 1>Practitioner Judy King and I are talking about how to

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<v Speaker 1>make behavior change stick.

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<v Speaker 2>We might know what we need to do.

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<v Speaker 1>But how do we change our behavior in a way

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<v Speaker 1>that makes it stick. Take a listen to our conversation. Judy,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm fascinated by.

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<v Speaker 2>The world of behavior change.

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<v Speaker 1>I see it every day in the work that I do,

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<v Speaker 1>where that's often where people become stuck actually making that change.

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<v Speaker 1>So let's say we've finally worked out what we want

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<v Speaker 1>to be doing to improve our lives, and this could

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<v Speaker 1>be just a health habit change, or it could be

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<v Speaker 1>around self belief, or it could be something big, like

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<v Speaker 1>a career change. But it's the doing of that habit

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<v Speaker 1>where things often become unstuck. You know, changing behaviors is

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<v Speaker 1>really really hard. Is this something that you work on

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<v Speaker 1>with your clients? This concept of behavior change.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, I'm obsessed with it.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you see it too? Do you see how hard

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<v Speaker 1>behavior change can be? Like, all right, I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>do this thing. I'm going to train for this marathon

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<v Speaker 1>or go and start these interviews or whatever. But then

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<v Speaker 1>the next week you're like, oh, I haven't done it totally.

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<v Speaker 3>And I think one of the most important first steps

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<v Speaker 3>is to acknowledge is this like a true desire or

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<v Speaker 3>is it an egoic desire.

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<v Speaker 1>It's so funny. I used to say that with marathon

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<v Speaker 1>because I used to do a lot of marathon running

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<v Speaker 1>that was a coach, and I'd have people come to me,

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<v Speaker 1>I really want to do London marathon. I just it's

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<v Speaker 1>like my bucket list thing and I'm like, okay, but

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<v Speaker 1>do you want to be running one hundred kilometers a week?

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<v Speaker 1>Because you know, with the goal time that you have

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<v Speaker 1>and the training program, you're going to have to be

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<v Speaker 1>running five or six days a week and you're going

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<v Speaker 1>to have to be doing thirty k's on one day

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<v Speaker 1>and twenty k's on another day. And then that's when

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<v Speaker 1>it's like, oh, actually, I don't think I can fit

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<v Speaker 1>that in.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, because we see, you know, other people doing things,

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<v Speaker 3>then we think I want to do that, But actually

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<v Speaker 3>do you do you really?

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<v Speaker 1>And look, just as a side not you don't actually

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<v Speaker 1>have to run one hundred ks a week to do

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<v Speaker 1>the London Marathon. If you want to do it in

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<v Speaker 1>a time that's faster than three and a half hours,

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<v Speaker 1>then yeah, you probably do need to get up there.

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<v Speaker 1>But if you just want to plot along, don't let

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<v Speaker 1>my hundred ks slow you down. Judy just talk us

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<v Speaker 1>through the process of making behavior change stick.

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<v Speaker 3>So it's really important that we, like I said, we firstly,

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<v Speaker 3>it is a true desire. It is something that's coming

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<v Speaker 3>from us. It's something that we're not making because is

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<v Speaker 3>what we should do or what other people expect us

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<v Speaker 3>to do, or because it kind of looks good and

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<v Speaker 3>feels like it might make me feel important. You know,

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<v Speaker 3>there's those elements and so kind of that understanding and

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<v Speaker 3>breaking that down first and getting really boldly honest with

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<v Speaker 3>yourself is the first step. The next is why does

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<v Speaker 3>it matter to you? So the more that we can

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<v Speaker 3>understand that piece and build a deeper connection because that

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<v Speaker 3>why it matters, that thing of why it matters to

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<v Speaker 3>you is vital is a big piece in business as well,

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<v Speaker 3>and even as a mum, you know, being wanting to

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<v Speaker 3>be a role model for our kids, right like why

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<v Speaker 3>does that matter to you? So the more we can

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<v Speaker 3>bring it back to ourselves and really anchor in that reason,

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<v Speaker 3>that is going to support us in those moments when

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<v Speaker 3>we're like, h, I can't be bothered. Oh this just

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<v Speaker 3>feels too hard.

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<v Speaker 1>I one hundred percent agree with you on this one,

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<v Speaker 1>like really connecting with your why. But funnily enough, it

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<v Speaker 1>can be a hard thing to do. And I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to use two examples because I feel like today we're

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<v Speaker 1>talking about behavior change your business and I'm health So

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<v Speaker 1>let me give two examples. Let me give the you know,

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<v Speaker 1>like I need to lose some weight example, and this

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<v Speaker 1>idea of okay, well what's your big why? Well, I

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<v Speaker 1>want to fit into my skinny jeans or I just

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<v Speaker 1>feel yucky or whatever. Like that's not going to cut it. No,

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<v Speaker 1>it needs to be even deeper than that. Absolutely, But

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<v Speaker 1>I think a lot of us we skim over that,

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<v Speaker 1>like we're just like, oh, pheel blah blah blah. But

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<v Speaker 1>your example there of being a great role model or

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<v Speaker 1>for me, and I don't know if it's because I'm

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<v Speaker 1>in my forties now and I'm starting to get a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit older and looking at my next fifty years

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<v Speaker 1>and thinking about being a grandma, and I'm thinking I

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<v Speaker 1>want to be one of those cool grunny is it's

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<v Speaker 1>like at the playground with my grandkids and you know,

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<v Speaker 1>taking them to Paris on a like unforgettable you know,

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<v Speaker 1>three generation holiday with my daughter and my granddaughter. So

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<v Speaker 1>I get that now because I've kind of been working

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<v Speaker 1>on that in health. Can you give me a business

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<v Speaker 1>like for example, the business example that's coming up for

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<v Speaker 1>me is, oh, I got to be successful at business

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<v Speaker 1>because IVE got to make a lot of money Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>like I want to be a million dollar coach or

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<v Speaker 1>something like that is a very common one. But to me,

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<v Speaker 1>is that a bit like the skinna jeans one? Is

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<v Speaker 1>it a bit like that's not actually what's the why

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<v Speaker 1>that sits underneath that?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>Absolutely, that's what we want to chunk down into freedom.

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<v Speaker 3>A lot of times it's freedom, but then it's like

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<v Speaker 3>what is that freedom going to bring me?

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<v Speaker 2>Like?

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<v Speaker 3>Why do I want that freedom so much? And how

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<v Speaker 3>is that going to make me feel?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's an interesting one, isn't it tapping into that

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<v Speaker 1>deep why and then be able to access the deep

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<v Speaker 1>why really quickly at five point thirty in the morning

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<v Speaker 1>when the alarm goes off, or after a really horrible

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<v Speaker 1>business phone call where you just got rejected for the

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<v Speaker 1>fiftieth time. How do we have that deep y on

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<v Speaker 1>taps so that we can give us the impetus to

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<v Speaker 1>keep going.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's a great question.

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<v Speaker 3>And I think the first piece is around the standards

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<v Speaker 3>that we're setting. Is a lot around the mindset and

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<v Speaker 3>the boundaries that we're also able to communicate that support

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<v Speaker 3>that standard that we're setting for ourselves. So if we're

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<v Speaker 3>happy to just be on autopilot, and just kind of

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<v Speaker 3>go through life and to ultimately not take any responsibility

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<v Speaker 3>for our choices and allow ourselves to run our old behaviors.

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<v Speaker 3>Then our standards that we've set for ourselves aren't actually

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<v Speaker 3>in alignment with ourselves. So I really encourage every woman

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<v Speaker 3>to raise the standards for themselves and look at themselves

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<v Speaker 3>as ultimately the CEO of their life, the one who

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<v Speaker 3>gets to own it, take responsibility for it. If we

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<v Speaker 3>could play a game with it too and make it

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<v Speaker 3>fun and go, Okay, who do I need to be

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<v Speaker 3>being to actually be that woman? What does that look like,

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<v Speaker 3>what does that feel like? How can I make this fun?

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<v Speaker 3>How can I play with this? And then what are

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<v Speaker 3>the boundaries that I need to communicate, whether that be

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<v Speaker 3>you know and from a really healthy place, the communication

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<v Speaker 3>that needs to happen Sometimes that's to have in our

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<v Speaker 3>partner to stay home in the morning while we go

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<v Speaker 3>out and do yoga or plarties so that we have

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<v Speaker 3>that time to ourselves and that that's just a rhythm

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<v Speaker 3>and a routine.

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<v Speaker 2>But we need to ask for the support.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're at a point with your health where you

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<v Speaker 1>want answers, answers to your low energy answers to that

0:07:41.600 --> 0:07:44.520
<v Speaker 1>stubborn weight that won't shift. Then I've got the solution

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<v Speaker 1>for you. I have partnered with the most amazing integrative

0:07:47.680 --> 0:07:50.840
<v Speaker 1>GP to bring you Inner Vitality. It's a brand new

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<v Speaker 1>online program that uses over fifty buiomarkers to give you

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<v Speaker 1>an accurate picture of your unique biochemistry and the insufficiencies, deficiencies,

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<v Speaker 1>or out of range markers that might be holding you back.

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<v Speaker 1>We look at all aspects of your health, from your

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<v Speaker 1>metabolic health to hormones, vitamins, minerals, liver, kidney, thyroid function,

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<v Speaker 1>and more. Then over the eight weeks as a group,

0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:16.520
<v Speaker 1>we educate you on these markers and implement the small

0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:20.360
<v Speaker 1>but powerful changes needed to restore your internal balance and

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<v Speaker 1>bring back your vitality. Visit the link in the show

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<v Speaker 1>notes to find out more. It's funny I have this

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<v Speaker 1>exercise that I get my members to do on my

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<v Speaker 1>Inner Vitality program, which is your worthy idols, and I

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<v Speaker 1>ask them to pick someone in your current decade who's

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<v Speaker 1>in that age bracket worthy idol, and then the next

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<v Speaker 1>decade and the decade after that, and I always do

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<v Speaker 1>like a mood board on the program of all the

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<v Speaker 1>different faces that they've popped up there, and you know,

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<v Speaker 1>Jane Fonder and Hillary Clinton comes in there sometimes and

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<v Speaker 1>Jane goodall just incredible people. And I love this idea

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<v Speaker 1>of then you've got that really instant, Well, what would

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<v Speaker 1>Jennifer Aniston do in this situation or what would you

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<v Speaker 1>know Wendy McCarthy, who's one of my amazing worthy idols,

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<v Speaker 1>and I've got an interview with her on my podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>She's incredible, and I feel like that can anchor you

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<v Speaker 1>into that and she'd be like, well, Wendy would tell

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<v Speaker 1>her husband, I've got Pilate's booked at six am, you

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<v Speaker 1>deal with the kids.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm headed off there, and so I want to just

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<v Speaker 2>wrap up with because we're talking.

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<v Speaker 1>About behavior change and we're talking about this idea of

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<v Speaker 1>making a habit stick. I've heard you talk about the

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<v Speaker 1>one thing. So how can people best integrate that one

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<v Speaker 1>thing into their daily lives and make it a sustainable change?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, I think, like anything, it's again about starting small

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<v Speaker 3>and not feeling like we need to make all the

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<v Speaker 3>changes all at the same time, right, So if we

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<v Speaker 3>can really install this one thing. So for me, when

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<v Speaker 3>I was redeveloping my relationship with fitness, with movement. I

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<v Speaker 3>was really strong uggling with finding the one thing in

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<v Speaker 3>terms of my exercise that felt really good for me.

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<v Speaker 3>And finally I found it with reformer pilates. And initially

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<v Speaker 3>it was really difficult for me to commit to that

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<v Speaker 3>and be consistent, but I've found the thing. So that

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<v Speaker 3>was through trial and error. I then decided that this

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<v Speaker 3>is the one thing that I'm going to commit to

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<v Speaker 3>and I'm going to get this into my everyday way

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<v Speaker 3>of being, that it's something that I just wake up

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<v Speaker 3>and do. I don't even need to think about it,

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<v Speaker 3>I just do it. And so consistency obviously the internal

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<v Speaker 3>dialogue of reminding ourselves that you know, this is the

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<v Speaker 3>decision that I made, and this is the commitment to

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<v Speaker 3>myself and that standard that I have that to be

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<v Speaker 3>in integrity is actually to be in integrity with myself

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<v Speaker 3>and that is a really important value to me. So

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<v Speaker 3>through that discipline and through that commitment of you know what,

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<v Speaker 3>just there's one thing. I'm just going to start on

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<v Speaker 3>this one thing and eventually then I'll get to the

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<v Speaker 3>other things, right, but I need to just get this

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<v Speaker 3>in as my way of being and do that. Three

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<v Speaker 3>or four times a week. The other day, I went

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<v Speaker 3>to class at six thirty in the morning and I'd

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<v Speaker 3>booked the seven thirty, and she's like, oh, Judy, I've

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<v Speaker 3>changed you to the six thirty because you were actually

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<v Speaker 3>booked at them there.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, weird.

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<v Speaker 1>See, because once something's that ingrained habit, it takes so

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<v Speaker 1>much less effort to do it. And I absolutely love this,

0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:21.560
<v Speaker 1>and I hope you guys listening it's really landing with

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<v Speaker 1>you this concept of one thing instead of the complete overhaul,

0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:28.800
<v Speaker 1>because I have seen it time and time again, where

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<v Speaker 1>the thought of overhauling career or fitness or whatever it

0:11:33.679 --> 0:11:36.800
<v Speaker 1>is just feels really overwhelming. Whereas if you're like, no, actually,

0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:39.760
<v Speaker 1>what is the one thing I need to be doing

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<v Speaker 1>and maybe doing on a regular basis, And if it's

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<v Speaker 1>a career change, it might be booking a course to

0:11:44.480 --> 0:11:47.200
<v Speaker 1>see someone like you, Judy, or it could be you know,

0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:50.280
<v Speaker 1>listing out the ten best companies I want to work

0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:52.199
<v Speaker 1>for or what you know, it's just breaking it into

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<v Speaker 1>that one thing then and then getting that one thing

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<v Speaker 1>into your daily life in whatever way, shape or form

0:11:58.040 --> 0:12:00.560
<v Speaker 1>it needs to be. I just love because we can

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<v Speaker 1>all do one thing can't We Yeah, totally.

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<v Speaker 3>And it's just about teaching the body that this is

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<v Speaker 3>the new way, right. It's that rhythm, it's that in

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<v Speaker 3>every cell of the body. My body knows it's you know,

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<v Speaker 3>it's time to get up and go and just do

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<v Speaker 3>the thing. I don't think about it, And that's behavior.

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<v Speaker 3>Why do we do the things that we do, is

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<v Speaker 3>because we've done it enough times that the body just

0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:21.480
<v Speaker 3>knows what to do unconsciously.

0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:25.680
<v Speaker 1>Can I just say one other amazing little hack you

0:12:25.679 --> 0:12:27.960
<v Speaker 1>can pop on the back of your one thing is

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<v Speaker 1>to celebrate it when you do it absolutely And there's

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<v Speaker 1>all this research around positive reinforcement and it actually cementing

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<v Speaker 1>down a habit. And so I do this and I

0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:43.160
<v Speaker 1>look like an idiot if I do like one really

0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:46.160
<v Speaker 1>challenging work, Like I've got this thing called Tomato timer,

0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:48.680
<v Speaker 1>which is basically I have to sit and focus. I

0:12:48.760 --> 0:12:51.000
<v Speaker 1>set the tomato timer for twenty minutes. I'm the allowed

0:12:51.000 --> 0:12:52.600
<v Speaker 1>to be up my phone, I'm the allowed to answer

0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:54.400
<v Speaker 1>an email. I just got to do whatever my deep

0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:56.559
<v Speaker 1>focus work is. And at the end of my that's

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<v Speaker 1>my one thing because I'm trying to be more productive.

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<v Speaker 1>And do you know what I do at the end

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<v Speaker 1>is I do a little happy dance, and I like,

0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:04.560
<v Speaker 1>and I like sit there and do a happy dance,

0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:06.560
<v Speaker 1>and I play one of my favorite new songs. And

0:13:06.600 --> 0:13:10.880
<v Speaker 1>it's amazing how much just a little mini celebration works.

0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:13.320
<v Speaker 1>It might be grabbing a coffee at your favorite coffee shop,

0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:15.360
<v Speaker 1>or after your pilates class or whatever.

0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:16.840
<v Speaker 2>So do your one.

0:13:16.679 --> 0:13:19.840
<v Speaker 1>Thing, but then spend a couple of minutes rewarding yourself,

0:13:20.120 --> 0:13:23.280
<v Speaker 1>celebrating after you've done it, and the one thing starts

0:13:23.320 --> 0:13:24.840
<v Speaker 1>to feel a lot more positive.

0:13:25.160 --> 0:13:28.280
<v Speaker 2>And it's meant the habit, it really anchors it in.

0:13:28.520 --> 0:13:30.720
<v Speaker 2>It's the best, the best. I love it.

0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:52.080
<v Speaker 1>Judy King, thank you so much, Thank you, thanks for

0:13:52.120 --> 0:13:54.199
<v Speaker 1>listening to Healthy Hair. If you're at a point with

0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:57.360
<v Speaker 1>your health where you want answers, answers to your low energy,

0:13:57.520 --> 0:14:00.200
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<v Speaker 1>got the solution for you. I have partnered with the

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0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:13.000
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0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:16.280
<v Speaker 1>and any imbalances. Then, over eight weeks we educate you

0:14:16.320 --> 0:14:19.680
<v Speaker 1>on these markers and implement the small but powerful changes

0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:22.720
<v Speaker 1>needed to restore your internal balance. Visit the link in

0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:24.160
<v Speaker 1>the show notes to find out more.