Speaker 1: If you're at a point with your health where you
Speaker 1: want answers, answers to your low energy, answers to that
Speaker 1: stubborn weight that won't shift, then I've got the solution
Speaker 1: for you. I've partnered with the most amazing integrative GP
Speaker 1: to bring you Inner Vitality, a brand new online program
Speaker 1: that uses over fifty bio markers to give you an
Speaker 1: accurate picture of your unique biochemistry and any imbalances. Then,
Speaker 1: over eight weeks, we educate you on these markers and
Speaker 1: implement the small but powerful changes needed to restore your
Speaker 1: internal balance. Visit the link in the show notes to
Speaker 1: find out more. This is Healthy Heer with Amelia Phillips
Speaker 1: and welcome to one of my mini motivation episodes.
Speaker 2: These are shorter episodes.
Speaker 1: Where we tackle one specific issue and give you really actionable,
Speaker 1: practical advice on how to overcome it. Today, NLP Master
Speaker 1: Practitioner Judy King and I are talking about how to
Speaker 1: make behavior change stick.
Speaker 2: We might know what we need to do.
Speaker 1: But how do we change our behavior in a way
Speaker 1: that makes it stick. Take a listen to our conversation. Judy,
Speaker 1: I'm fascinated by.
Speaker 2: The world of behavior change.
Speaker 1: I see it every day in the work that I do,
Speaker 1: where that's often where people become stuck actually making that change.
Speaker 1: So let's say we've finally worked out what we want
Speaker 1: to be doing to improve our lives, and this could
Speaker 1: be just a health habit change, or it could be
Speaker 1: around self belief, or it could be something big, like
Speaker 1: a career change. But it's the doing of that habit
Speaker 1: where things often become unstuck. You know, changing behaviors is
Speaker 1: really really hard. Is this something that you work on
Speaker 1: with your clients? This concept of behavior change.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, I'm obsessed with it.
Speaker 1: Do you see it too? Do you see how hard
Speaker 1: behavior change can be? Like, all right, I'm going to
Speaker 1: do this thing. I'm going to train for this marathon
Speaker 1: or go and start these interviews or whatever. But then
Speaker 1: the next week you're like, oh, I haven't done it totally.
Speaker 3: And I think one of the most important first steps
Speaker 3: is to acknowledge is this like a true desire or
Speaker 3: is it an egoic desire.
Speaker 1: It's so funny. I used to say that with marathon
Speaker 1: because I used to do a lot of marathon running
Speaker 1: that was a coach, and I'd have people come to me,
Speaker 1: I really want to do London marathon. I just it's
Speaker 1: like my bucket list thing and I'm like, okay, but
Speaker 1: do you want to be running one hundred kilometers a week?
Speaker 1: Because you know, with the goal time that you have
Speaker 1: and the training program, you're going to have to be
Speaker 1: running five or six days a week and you're going
Speaker 1: to have to be doing thirty k's on one day
Speaker 1: and twenty k's on another day. And then that's when
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, actually, I don't think I can fit
Speaker 1: that in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because we see, you know, other people doing things,
Speaker 3: then we think I want to do that, But actually
Speaker 3: do you do you really?
Speaker 1: And look, just as a side not you don't actually
Speaker 1: have to run one hundred ks a week to do
Speaker 1: the London Marathon. If you want to do it in
Speaker 1: a time that's faster than three and a half hours,
Speaker 1: then yeah, you probably do need to get up there.
Speaker 1: But if you just want to plot along, don't let
Speaker 1: my hundred ks slow you down. Judy just talk us
Speaker 1: through the process of making behavior change stick.
Speaker 3: So it's really important that we, like I said, we firstly,
Speaker 3: it is a true desire. It is something that's coming
Speaker 3: from us. It's something that we're not making because is
Speaker 3: what we should do or what other people expect us
Speaker 3: to do, or because it kind of looks good and
Speaker 3: feels like it might make me feel important. You know,
Speaker 3: there's those elements and so kind of that understanding and
Speaker 3: breaking that down first and getting really boldly honest with
Speaker 3: yourself is the first step. The next is why does
Speaker 3: it matter to you? So the more that we can
Speaker 3: understand that piece and build a deeper connection because that
Speaker 3: why it matters, that thing of why it matters to
Speaker 3: you is vital is a big piece in business as well,
Speaker 3: and even as a mum, you know, being wanting to
Speaker 3: be a role model for our kids, right like why
Speaker 3: does that matter to you? So the more we can
Speaker 3: bring it back to ourselves and really anchor in that reason,
Speaker 3: that is going to support us in those moments when
Speaker 3: we're like, h, I can't be bothered. Oh this just
Speaker 3: feels too hard.
Speaker 1: I one hundred percent agree with you on this one,
Speaker 1: like really connecting with your why. But funnily enough, it
Speaker 1: can be a hard thing to do. And I'm going
Speaker 1: to use two examples because I feel like today we're
Speaker 1: talking about behavior change your business and I'm health So
Speaker 1: let me give two examples. Let me give the you know,
Speaker 1: like I need to lose some weight example, and this
Speaker 1: idea of okay, well what's your big why? Well, I
Speaker 1: want to fit into my skinny jeans or I just
Speaker 1: feel yucky or whatever. Like that's not going to cut it. No,
Speaker 1: it needs to be even deeper than that. Absolutely, But
Speaker 1: I think a lot of us we skim over that,
Speaker 1: like we're just like, oh, pheel blah blah blah. But
Speaker 1: your example there of being a great role model or
Speaker 1: for me, and I don't know if it's because I'm
Speaker 1: in my forties now and I'm starting to get a
Speaker 1: little bit older and looking at my next fifty years
Speaker 1: and thinking about being a grandma, and I'm thinking I
Speaker 1: want to be one of those cool grunny is it's
Speaker 1: like at the playground with my grandkids and you know,
Speaker 1: taking them to Paris on a like unforgettable you know,
Speaker 1: three generation holiday with my daughter and my granddaughter. So
Speaker 1: I get that now because I've kind of been working
Speaker 1: on that in health. Can you give me a business
Speaker 1: like for example, the business example that's coming up for
Speaker 1: me is, oh, I got to be successful at business
Speaker 1: because IVE got to make a lot of money Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I want to be a million dollar coach or
Speaker 1: something like that is a very common one. But to me,
Speaker 1: is that a bit like the skinna jeans one? Is
Speaker 1: it a bit like that's not actually what's the why
Speaker 1: that sits underneath that?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Absolutely, that's what we want to chunk down into freedom.
Speaker 3: A lot of times it's freedom, but then it's like
Speaker 3: what is that freedom going to bring me?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: Why do I want that freedom so much? And how
Speaker 3: is that going to make me feel?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's an interesting one, isn't it tapping into that
Speaker 1: deep why and then be able to access the deep
Speaker 1: why really quickly at five point thirty in the morning
Speaker 1: when the alarm goes off, or after a really horrible
Speaker 1: business phone call where you just got rejected for the
Speaker 1: fiftieth time. How do we have that deep y on
Speaker 1: taps so that we can give us the impetus to
Speaker 1: keep going.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a great question.
Speaker 3: And I think the first piece is around the standards
Speaker 3: that we're setting. Is a lot around the mindset and
Speaker 3: the boundaries that we're also able to communicate that support
Speaker 3: that standard that we're setting for ourselves. So if we're
Speaker 3: happy to just be on autopilot, and just kind of
Speaker 3: go through life and to ultimately not take any responsibility
Speaker 3: for our choices and allow ourselves to run our old behaviors.
Speaker 3: Then our standards that we've set for ourselves aren't actually
Speaker 3: in alignment with ourselves. So I really encourage every woman
Speaker 3: to raise the standards for themselves and look at themselves
Speaker 3: as ultimately the CEO of their life, the one who
Speaker 3: gets to own it, take responsibility for it. If we
Speaker 3: could play a game with it too and make it
Speaker 3: fun and go, Okay, who do I need to be
Speaker 3: being to actually be that woman? What does that look like,
Speaker 3: what does that feel like? How can I make this fun?
Speaker 3: How can I play with this? And then what are
Speaker 3: the boundaries that I need to communicate, whether that be
Speaker 3: you know and from a really healthy place, the communication
Speaker 3: that needs to happen Sometimes that's to have in our
Speaker 3: partner to stay home in the morning while we go
Speaker 3: out and do yoga or plarties so that we have
Speaker 3: that time to ourselves and that that's just a rhythm
Speaker 3: and a routine.
Speaker 2: But we need to ask for the support.
Speaker 1: If you're at a point with your health where you
Speaker 1: want answers, answers to your low energy answers to that
Speaker 1: stubborn weight that won't shift. Then I've got the solution
Speaker 1: for you. I have partnered with the most amazing integrative
Speaker 1: GP to bring you Inner Vitality. It's a brand new
Speaker 1: online program that uses over fifty buiomarkers to give you
Speaker 1: an accurate picture of your unique biochemistry and the insufficiencies, deficiencies,
Speaker 1: or out of range markers that might be holding you back.
Speaker 1: We look at all aspects of your health, from your
Speaker 1: metabolic health to hormones, vitamins, minerals, liver, kidney, thyroid function,
Speaker 1: and more. Then over the eight weeks as a group,
Speaker 1: we educate you on these markers and implement the small
Speaker 1: but powerful changes needed to restore your internal balance and
Speaker 1: bring back your vitality. Visit the link in the show
Speaker 1: notes to find out more. It's funny I have this
Speaker 1: exercise that I get my members to do on my
Speaker 1: Inner Vitality program, which is your worthy idols, and I
Speaker 1: ask them to pick someone in your current decade who's
Speaker 1: in that age bracket worthy idol, and then the next
Speaker 1: decade and the decade after that, and I always do
Speaker 1: like a mood board on the program of all the
Speaker 1: different faces that they've popped up there, and you know,
Speaker 1: Jane Fonder and Hillary Clinton comes in there sometimes and
Speaker 1: Jane goodall just incredible people. And I love this idea
Speaker 1: of then you've got that really instant, Well, what would
Speaker 1: Jennifer Aniston do in this situation or what would you
Speaker 1: know Wendy McCarthy, who's one of my amazing worthy idols,
Speaker 1: and I've got an interview with her on my podcast.
Speaker 1: She's incredible, and I feel like that can anchor you
Speaker 1: into that and she'd be like, well, Wendy would tell
Speaker 1: her husband, I've got Pilate's booked at six am, you
Speaker 1: deal with the kids.
Speaker 2: I'm headed off there, and so I want to just
Speaker 2: wrap up with because we're talking.
Speaker 1: About behavior change and we're talking about this idea of
Speaker 1: making a habit stick. I've heard you talk about the
Speaker 1: one thing. So how can people best integrate that one
Speaker 1: thing into their daily lives and make it a sustainable change?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Well, I think, like anything, it's again about starting small
Speaker 3: and not feeling like we need to make all the
Speaker 3: changes all at the same time, right, So if we
Speaker 3: can really install this one thing. So for me, when
Speaker 3: I was redeveloping my relationship with fitness, with movement. I
Speaker 3: was really strong uggling with finding the one thing in
Speaker 3: terms of my exercise that felt really good for me.
Speaker 3: And finally I found it with reformer pilates. And initially
Speaker 3: it was really difficult for me to commit to that
Speaker 3: and be consistent, but I've found the thing. So that
Speaker 3: was through trial and error. I then decided that this
Speaker 3: is the one thing that I'm going to commit to
Speaker 3: and I'm going to get this into my everyday way
Speaker 3: of being, that it's something that I just wake up
Speaker 3: and do. I don't even need to think about it,
Speaker 3: I just do it. And so consistency obviously the internal
Speaker 3: dialogue of reminding ourselves that you know, this is the
Speaker 3: decision that I made, and this is the commitment to
Speaker 3: myself and that standard that I have that to be
Speaker 3: in integrity is actually to be in integrity with myself
Speaker 3: and that is a really important value to me. So
Speaker 3: through that discipline and through that commitment of you know what,
Speaker 3: just there's one thing. I'm just going to start on
Speaker 3: this one thing and eventually then I'll get to the
Speaker 3: other things, right, but I need to just get this
Speaker 3: in as my way of being and do that. Three
Speaker 3: or four times a week. The other day, I went
Speaker 3: to class at six thirty in the morning and I'd
Speaker 3: booked the seven thirty, and she's like, oh, Judy, I've
Speaker 3: changed you to the six thirty because you were actually
Speaker 3: booked at them there.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, weird.
Speaker 1: See, because once something's that ingrained habit, it takes so
Speaker 1: much less effort to do it. And I absolutely love this,
Speaker 1: and I hope you guys listening it's really landing with
Speaker 1: you this concept of one thing instead of the complete overhaul,
Speaker 1: because I have seen it time and time again, where
Speaker 1: the thought of overhauling career or fitness or whatever it
Speaker 1: is just feels really overwhelming. Whereas if you're like, no, actually,
Speaker 1: what is the one thing I need to be doing
Speaker 1: and maybe doing on a regular basis, And if it's
Speaker 1: a career change, it might be booking a course to
Speaker 1: see someone like you, Judy, or it could be you know,
Speaker 1: listing out the ten best companies I want to work
Speaker 1: for or what you know, it's just breaking it into
Speaker 1: that one thing then and then getting that one thing
Speaker 1: into your daily life in whatever way, shape or form
Speaker 1: it needs to be. I just love because we can
Speaker 1: all do one thing can't We Yeah, totally.
Speaker 3: And it's just about teaching the body that this is
Speaker 3: the new way, right. It's that rhythm, it's that in
Speaker 3: every cell of the body. My body knows it's you know,
Speaker 3: it's time to get up and go and just do
Speaker 3: the thing. I don't think about it, And that's behavior.
Speaker 3: Why do we do the things that we do, is
Speaker 3: because we've done it enough times that the body just
Speaker 3: knows what to do unconsciously.
Speaker 1: Can I just say one other amazing little hack you
Speaker 1: can pop on the back of your one thing is
Speaker 1: to celebrate it when you do it absolutely And there's
Speaker 1: all this research around positive reinforcement and it actually cementing
Speaker 1: down a habit. And so I do this and I
Speaker 1: look like an idiot if I do like one really
Speaker 1: challenging work, Like I've got this thing called Tomato timer,
Speaker 1: which is basically I have to sit and focus. I
Speaker 1: set the tomato timer for twenty minutes. I'm the allowed
Speaker 1: to be up my phone, I'm the allowed to answer
Speaker 1: an email. I just got to do whatever my deep
Speaker 1: focus work is. And at the end of my that's
Speaker 1: my one thing because I'm trying to be more productive.
Speaker 1: And do you know what I do at the end
Speaker 1: is I do a little happy dance, and I like,
Speaker 1: and I like sit there and do a happy dance,
Speaker 1: and I play one of my favorite new songs. And
Speaker 1: it's amazing how much just a little mini celebration works.
Speaker 1: It might be grabbing a coffee at your favorite coffee shop,
Speaker 1: or after your pilates class or whatever.
Speaker 2: So do your one.
Speaker 1: Thing, but then spend a couple of minutes rewarding yourself,
Speaker 1: celebrating after you've done it, and the one thing starts
Speaker 1: to feel a lot more positive.
Speaker 2: And it's meant the habit, it really anchors it in.
Speaker 2: It's the best, the best. I love it.
Speaker 1: Judy King, thank you so much, Thank you, thanks for
Speaker 1: listening to Healthy Hair. If you're at a point with
Speaker 1: your health where you want answers, answers to your low energy,
Speaker 1: answers to that stubborn weight that won't shift, then I've
Speaker 1: got the solution for you. I have partnered with the
Speaker 1: most amazing integrative GP to bring you Inner Vitality, a
Speaker 1: brand new online program that uses over fifty buyer markers
Speaker 1: to give you an accurate picture of your unique biochemistry
Speaker 1: and any imbalances. Then, over eight weeks we educate you
Speaker 1: on these markers and implement the small but powerful changes
Speaker 1: needed to restore your internal balance. Visit the link in
Speaker 1: the show notes to find out more.