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Speaker 1: I'm getting personal with today's big Business episode. But now

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Speaker 1: that I think about it, a lot of my episodes

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Speaker 1: here are personal because the funny thing is about business.

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Speaker 1: Nothing is personal in business, but for a founder, I

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Speaker 1: find business to be a very personal journey. I'm not

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Speaker 1: very spiritual or anything like. I'm not spiritual at all, actually,

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Speaker 1: but when you stop and think about it, being in

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Speaker 1: business and being a founder is like a weirdly a

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Speaker 1: personal and spiritual journey. But then business itself is not

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Speaker 1: personal whatsoever. But I am talking about something personal to

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Speaker 1: me today, which I've probably mentioned here and there sprinkled

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Speaker 1: throughout episodes, which I feel like I always do. I

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm always saying I know I've said this

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Speaker 1: on the pod before, but anyway, here I am again.

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Speaker 1: AJ and I are currently like, as this episode is out,

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Speaker 1: we are on a little mini four night get away

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Speaker 1: just because me looking for an excuse, I want to

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Speaker 1: talk about that as well. We've had such a massive

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Speaker 1: year and we're in such a busy period at FATE,

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Speaker 1: but we're about to get even busier and we've had

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Speaker 1: so much going on and so many changes have been

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Speaker 1: happening all year really at Fate and I just thought,

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Speaker 1: let's just get away for four nights before the chaos begins,

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Speaker 1: even though the chaos is always happening, if I'm being honest,

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Speaker 1: We're getting away from the chaos for four nights, but

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Speaker 1: also before like the biggest time of year for us,

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Speaker 1: which is like September, October, November and into Christmas. It's

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Speaker 1: just always crazy. So we're getting away for four nights.

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Speaker 1: And I wanted to do an episode talking about dealing

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Speaker 1: with guilt about taking time off. I feel like I've

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Speaker 1: already spoken about this. This is the thing. We're doing

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Speaker 1: two episodes every week for ages. Now. I'm like, what

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Speaker 1: have I spoken about? And what haven't I spoke about?

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Speaker 1: But I think this stems back to even when like

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Speaker 1: working jobs, If I'm being honest, Like, why is it

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Speaker 1: that from a young age we are almost conditioned to

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Speaker 1: feel bad for taking time off, even if it's very

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Speaker 1: well deserved, which it always is. You know. I think

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Speaker 1: back to when I did have jobs, and like, if

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Speaker 1: you ever needed to take time off, or if you're

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Speaker 1: going somewhere, or if you were sick, you know you

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Speaker 1: would feel bad. But I don't get why that is

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Speaker 1: why we feel guilty for taking time off, and I think,

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Speaker 1: you know, starting fate and having employees, obviously you see

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Speaker 1: it in a different light, like some of them being like, sorry,

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Speaker 1: I've got to take time off, like and we like

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Speaker 1: automatically feel guilty. And I don't know why. I think

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Speaker 1: it's the silliest thing ever, even though I know we

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Speaker 1: all do it. I mean some of us might not,

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Speaker 1: but like you know, if you need to take time

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Speaker 1: off or whatever, or you fall sick, you feel like

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Speaker 1: you're letting the team down. I think it's just something

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Speaker 1: that's drummed into us from a young age. But I'll

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Speaker 1: be the first to say, like, I would never want

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Speaker 1: anyone working for me to feel guilty for taking time off,

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Speaker 1: whether that's going on an amazing trip or needing to

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Speaker 1: take time off for health reasons. That's just life, and

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Speaker 1: especially when it comes to going on a holiday. All

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Speaker 1: of us deserve to go on all the holidays. But

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Speaker 1: an interesting part I think for me, I don't know

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Speaker 1: if it's like every founder. There might be founders out

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Speaker 1: there that couldn't give a shit, which I could. I

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Speaker 1: wish I could be more like that, and I think

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Speaker 1: I am learning to be a little bit more like that,

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Speaker 1: not in a bad way, but being one hundred percent

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Speaker 1: fine with taking time off and being away from work.

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Speaker 1: And I think this might stem from when you start

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Speaker 1: a business, especially if you're starting it all by yourself

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Speaker 1: and it's extremely hands on, it's hard to like not

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Speaker 1: want to be involved with everything every day. And over

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Speaker 1: the years of Fate, especially you know, in the last

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Speaker 1: four years or so, I have really learned to let

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Speaker 1: go of the rains and trust people and like be

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Speaker 1: okay with the fact that I can't do everything because

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Speaker 1: that's physically impossible. But even thinking back to when we

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Speaker 1: had our one and only store in Newcastle and you know,

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Speaker 1: it was downstairs and our office was upstairs. And I

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Speaker 1: remember like hiring my first couple of casual employees when

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Speaker 1: we had Fake Newcastle, because I would work in the

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Speaker 1: store so much that we didn't ever have like a

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Speaker 1: proper solid team and a proper roster kind of thing.

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Speaker 1: It was very casual. But I remember back then, you know,

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Speaker 1: deciding to stay home on the weekend and knowing that

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Speaker 1: the store was going to be open on the weekend

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Speaker 1: and my casual team members would be there working. I

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Speaker 1: would struggle really badly with feeling guilty that I wasn't there,

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Speaker 1: and I remember waking up, you know, on a Saturday morning,

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Speaker 1: knowing that the store's opening in an hour, like if

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Speaker 1: it would open at ten, like at night, I' be likeckt,

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Speaker 1: They've got an hour to open And it's a very

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Speaker 1: much mee thing. And anytime I've ever said this to

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Speaker 1: people that I know, they're like, you're fucking crazy, Like,

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Speaker 1: you know, they're fine and they're getting paid to be there,

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Speaker 1: which I one hundred percent know and agree with. But

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Speaker 1: I have had that guilt feeling since way back then,

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Speaker 1: and I remember when we opened our second store in

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Speaker 1: Westfield Miranda, I think that guilt became stronger. Actually it's

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Speaker 1: definitely gotten a lot easier and less like as the

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Speaker 1: years have gone by and as I've learnt to step

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Speaker 1: back more. But I remember, you know, opening a store

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Speaker 1: that is a two and a half hour drive away

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Speaker 1: from us and having those same thoughts of, you know,

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Speaker 1: I feel bad that I'm going to be at home

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Speaker 1: on the weekends and the store is going to be open,

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Speaker 1: which is so silly, but I think that's just comes from,

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Speaker 1: you know, once upon a time, me being on the

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Speaker 1: shop floor in our Newcastle store most days and most

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Speaker 1: weekends and like having to step back and know that

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Speaker 1: it's going to be fine without you. And it's silly.

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Speaker 1: I think it's like an insecurity thing as well. But

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Speaker 1: I remember thinking, you know, this is years ago, thinking oh,

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Speaker 1: my staff are going to think, you know, oh, she's

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Speaker 1: at home on the weekend, which they probably have never

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Speaker 1: No one's probably ever had that thought. But even to

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Speaker 1: this day, sometimes you know, like we've got five stores

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Speaker 1: now and like they're everywhere, like in Melbourne and Queensland

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Speaker 1: and Sydney, and sometimes I will wake up on a

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Speaker 1: Saturday and think of the girls, like opening the store

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Speaker 1: for the day. And I still kind of have that little,

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Speaker 1: that little guilt feeling of like I could be there helping.

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Speaker 1: Like not that that's physically possible for me to be

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Speaker 1: everywhere every weekend, but struggling with guilt of not being

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Speaker 1: at work when others are is something that I've always felt.

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Speaker 1: I've definitely gotten a lot better at managing that guilt,

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Speaker 1: I guess as the years have gone by. And thinking

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Speaker 1: back to last Christmas, that was the first Christmas that

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Speaker 1: AJ and I have ever taken time off work. I

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Speaker 1: can't remember if we ended up having a full two

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Speaker 1: weeks of not going to work, or if we went

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Speaker 1: one day here or there. But you know, we'd worked

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Speaker 1: every Christmas up until last year. In last year was

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Speaker 1: the first time that we took a break. And again,

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Speaker 1: I think it's just like that habit of like working

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Speaker 1: every Christmas kind of thing, you know, and then you

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Speaker 1: don't work, and then you have that guilt of like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I need to be at the warehouse packing orders or whatever.

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Speaker 1: But we did our boxing day sail early last year

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Speaker 1: so that we could like get all those orders out

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Speaker 1: of the way and everyone could go on annual leave.

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Speaker 1: And again, like that was a new experience for me

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Speaker 1: trying to like be okay with being at home and

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Speaker 1: chilling and relaxing. I think it all comes down to

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Speaker 1: the fact that I struggle to relax because you know,

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Speaker 1: when you're a founder and you have a big business

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Speaker 1: and you've got lots of teams and lots of moving

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Speaker 1: parts and stores that are open all over the country,

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Speaker 1: it's hard to like, it's hard to ever fucking switch off,

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Speaker 1: if I'm being honest, Like, we talk a lot about

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Speaker 1: work life balance, and whilst I, you know, have my

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Speaker 1: weekends off every Saturday and Sunday, I think mentally, you know,

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Speaker 1: as a founder, I'm never switched off, Like the brain

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Speaker 1: is always ticking a million miles an hour, and even

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Speaker 1: if I'm not physically at work, I think mentally I am.

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Speaker 1: But we've booked this four day trip this week just

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Speaker 1: to get away and just switch off and relax. Mind you,

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Speaker 1: I'm absolutely doing a fake photo shoot while we're away

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Speaker 1: because we're going to be somewhere nice and tropical, so

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Speaker 1: I've planned some outfits so it's not completely a holiday. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'll be getting a ja to take some photos of

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Speaker 1: me and our upcoming fate pieces while he's sipping on

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Speaker 1: a Long Island iced tea. And even then, like I'm

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Speaker 1: super excited, but like I have that inner guilt feeling

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Speaker 1: and I think it's genuinely just like an insecurity and

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Speaker 1: like I tell you know, my good friend Matt all right, hey,

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Speaker 1: some of you would know him, and he's like, what

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Speaker 1: the fuck is wrong with you? He's like, you need

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Speaker 1: to go on way more holidays. Like if I was

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Speaker 1: you and worked as hard as you, you should just

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Speaker 1: go away whenever the fuck you want and not care.

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Speaker 1: But it's something that I've always had in the back

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Speaker 1: of my mind. Even when we go away every time

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Speaker 1: we do, which isn't all that often, you know, I'll

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Speaker 1: be the kind of person to be like, if anyone

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Speaker 1: needs us, like, just send us a text, or if

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Speaker 1: it's a call, like I never want to be uncontactable,

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Speaker 1: or I guess come across as that boss that doesn't

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Speaker 1: care and just would rather go on holidays. But at

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Speaker 1: the same time, you know, if you are within your

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Speaker 1: means to go on a holiday as a founder, then

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Speaker 1: I'm like, yes, absolutely you should, and you should never

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Speaker 1: worry about what others may think. But I guess that's

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Speaker 1: just an insecurity of mine. So I'm really looking forward

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Speaker 1: to going on this trip. And in a way as well,

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Speaker 1: I think as founders we need to almost see taking

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Speaker 1: breaks well one hundred percent as a good thing for

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Speaker 1: the business, even though you know if you're going away

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Speaker 1: you can feel like things are going to become out

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Speaker 1: of control, which they absolutely aren't. It comes down to

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Speaker 1: trust one hundred percent. But our businesses aren't going to

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Speaker 1: collapse if you step away for a week. And at

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Speaker 1: the same time, rest is super productive. I think when

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Speaker 1: you are a founder and you have a big team,

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Speaker 1: that are you know working with you every day. I know,

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Speaker 1: for me personally, I don't ever really put myself first

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Speaker 1: when it comes to looking after myself, Like if you

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Speaker 1: want to talk really personal about my personal life, like

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Speaker 1: my diet is absolutely horrendous, Like I don't do any

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Speaker 1: exercise because like my number one priority is work, and

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Speaker 1: you know, I come home from work at four o'clock

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Speaker 1: and I've got way more stuff that I get done

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Speaker 1: at night. And I absolutely love that. But when it

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Speaker 1: comes to actually like looking after myself, I would say

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Speaker 1: I don't because my business is first. And when you're

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Speaker 1: you know, a leader, and you have people I guess

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Speaker 1: constantly coming to you, and you're always thinking of everyone

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Speaker 1: else and what everyone else wants to do in the business,

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Speaker 1: and who wants to grow where, and this that and

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Speaker 1: the other, and all new projects that you're working on.

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Speaker 1: Like as a founder, you absolutely put yourself last. And

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Speaker 1: I guess in a way to see going away for

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Speaker 1: a few days and really trying to switch off as

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Speaker 1: something that's going to do wonders not only for the business,

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Speaker 1: but also your mental health, because if you are prioritizing

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Speaker 1: yourself and having a bit of a reset and a recharge,

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Speaker 1: you're only going to come back feeling, you know, more

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Speaker 1: refreshed or knowing me, I'll probably have ten new ideas

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Speaker 1: when I come back after four days. And yeah, by

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Speaker 1: looking after ourselves, which I one hundred percent need to

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Speaker 1: do more of because I'm just go, go, go constantly.

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Speaker 1: By looking after ourselves and relaxing and unwinding every now

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Speaker 1: and then without feeling guilty, which is what I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to work on, It's only going to benefit the business

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Speaker 1: in the long run. And of course I'm going to

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Speaker 1: work away when I'm on the trip in terms of

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Speaker 1: making content, but that's just fun and I absolutely love that.

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Speaker 1: So some tips for letting go and going on trips.

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Speaker 1: I think it's important to make sure that your team

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Speaker 1: has clarity before you leave. With us out teams know

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Speaker 1: everything that's going on at all times for weeks and

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Speaker 1: months in advance, because we work really far in advance.

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Speaker 1: So we're definitely at that stage now where AJ and

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Speaker 1: I can go away for four days and people aren't

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Speaker 1: going to be like, so what do we do tomorrow?

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Speaker 1: You know, because we've got so much going on and

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Speaker 1: so many projects happening that it's very clear what everyone

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Speaker 1: needs to be doing. At all times. I also think

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Speaker 1: it's good as well, weirdly to go away as a founder,

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Speaker 1: and I think without them even realizing it, you know,

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Speaker 1: it can maybe give your team an even bigger sense

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Speaker 1: of independence. A lot of our team members, especially at

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Speaker 1: head office and our leadership team, they already have like

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Speaker 1: a lot of freedom and flexibility within their roles, but

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Speaker 1: I think having AJ and I step away can maybe

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Speaker 1: make them feel like they have even more independence and trust.

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Speaker 1: It's important when you're going away from your team to

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Speaker 1: have any boundaries or rules set in place if you

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Speaker 1: want to you know, whether you want to be contacted

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Speaker 1: or you don't. As to me and AJ where so

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Speaker 1: involved in hands on that every time we go away,

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Speaker 1: it's like, please contact us at any time if you

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Speaker 1: need us. But I think our team always go out

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Speaker 1: of their way to make sure they don't contact us

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Speaker 1: unless they absolutely need to. And just overall, I think

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Speaker 1: as founders, going on trips as guilty as you can feel,

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Speaker 1: it does so many wonders for your business across the board,

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Speaker 1: not only your mental health but your staff feeling more independent.

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Speaker 1: I mean, we're only going away four days and matching

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Speaker 1: like we're going away for ages the longest we've ever

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Speaker 1: gone away, I think is two weeks. But next year,

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Speaker 1: I really want to put this whole going away thing

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Speaker 1: to the test and go on a longer trip next year.

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Speaker 1: That's the next year thing. But yeah, if you're a

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Speaker 1: founder and you feel guilty for having time off, whether

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Speaker 1: it's a day off because you're feeling sick, or you've

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Speaker 1: hurt yourself, or you've got something personal going on, or

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Speaker 1: you need to take a mental health day, or even

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Speaker 1: if it's if you're going on a holiday, I completely

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Speaker 1: get that guilty feeling, and it's something that I have

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Speaker 1: always worked over the years, and I think I'm definitely

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Speaker 1: getting to that point where I'm feeling a little less guilty.

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Speaker 1: I still do feel guilty. I'm sure I'll be sitting

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Speaker 1: next to the pool with a cocktail. God, Oh, I

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Speaker 1: feel terrible that I'm here. But at the end of

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Speaker 1: the day, you know, we built these businesses, I guess

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Speaker 1: at the beginning for ourselves, and you know, why would

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Speaker 1: we deny ourselves a nice little trip away every now

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Speaker 1: and then to I guess reap the benefits of all

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Speaker 1: the hard work that we have put in. So do

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Speaker 1: not feel it's easy to say, do not feel guilty,

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Speaker 1: because I know I still do. But let this be

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Speaker 1: your reminder that it's okay to take breaks as an owner.

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Speaker 1: And if you can go away for a while and

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Speaker 1: know that your team are going to be fine without you,

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Speaker 1: and have all of your processes set in place if

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Speaker 1: you're maybe more in the startup phase, and let them

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Speaker 1: know if they need to contact you, they absolutely can

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Speaker 1: unless you don't want to be contact I've never done that.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I will. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: I've got it in me. You need to be able

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Speaker 1: to step ap away from your business and know that

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Speaker 1: everything will be okay and it'll still be there for

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Speaker 1: you exactly in the way that it was as soon

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Speaker 1: as you get back. So that's all from me for

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Speaker 1: today's bonus episode, and I'll be back next week after

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Speaker 1: I'm done on our little getaway.