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Speaker 1: From self destruction to financial freedom Adam Cooper's inspiring journey.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Sugar Mama's Fireplate, the podcast where we spark

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Speaker 1: your financial independence, fuel your early retirement dreams, and empower

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Speaker 1: you to build long term sustainable wealth. I am your host,

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Speaker 1: Canna Campbell, Financial plan and a passionate advocate for financial freedom.

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Speaker 1: Whether you're starting out on your journey or refining your

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Speaker 1: financial strategy, this is the podcast where I will inspire you,

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Speaker 1: educate you, and guide you towards a life of choice, security,

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Speaker 1: and abundance. So let's get started. So before we begin,

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Speaker 1: I just need to give you a lot of content warning.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode covers topics such as substance abuse and addiction.

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Speaker 1: But this is also a safe, non judgmental space where

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Speaker 1: we can encourage open, healthy conversations about personal growth, transformation,

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Speaker 1: and of course financial wellbeing on multiple different levels. So

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Speaker 1: if you or you know someone who is struggling right now,

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Speaker 1: please know that support is available. And as I said,

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Speaker 1: this is a safe, non judgmental space. And today I'm

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Speaker 1: joined by my friend Adam Cooper, who's also my trainer,

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Speaker 1: and he's going to share his inspiring story of personal

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Speaker 1: transformation Adam has battled self destructive habits, including drug and

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Speaker 1: alcohol abuse, and saw himself firsthand the financial and emotional

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Speaker 1: toll that this took on his life. Now, since going sober,

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Speaker 1: he has experienced a richer, more fulfilling life, both financially

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Speaker 1: and personally, in particularly spiritually, and he is here to

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Speaker 1: share his story the true cost of his past lifestyle

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Speaker 1: and the important, defining turning points in his life that

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Speaker 1: led him to make these changes, and these changes for

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Speaker 1: and how, of course, his personal finances have flourished since

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Speaker 1: embracing a clean, purposeful life. Adam, thank you for coming

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Speaker 1: in and thank you for having the strength and transparency

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Speaker 1: to share your journey. So like, I'm incredibly grateful for you.

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Speaker 1: So how are you today?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks so much, Kenna. I really appreciate you inviting

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Speaker 2: me on. But yeah, I'm feeling good, A little bit nervous.

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Speaker 1: Don't be nervous, as you know, I'm just a bit

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Speaker 1: of a dag heart. I love having important, powerful chats,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like there are a lot of people

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Speaker 1: who need to hear your story, maybe for themselves or

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Speaker 1: maybe for someone that they know that's close to them.

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Speaker 1: And you know, everything you say, I know, because we've

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Speaker 1: had these conversations offline, a lot of people are going

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Speaker 1: to relate to on different levels. So can we just

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Speaker 1: start a little bit about who you are and you

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Speaker 1: know what you do, Just a little bit of a background.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, like I said, my name is Adam now

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Speaker 2: forty three years old. Moved to Australia around seven and

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Speaker 2: a half years ago. And you know, I grew up

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Speaker 2: in the UK, just outside of London. I got a

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Speaker 2: very loving family, supportive family, and yeah, you know I've

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Speaker 2: got a passion for helping people working in sports. Didn't

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Speaker 2: quite make it as a professional footballer, so that kind

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Speaker 2: of led me into a career of health and fitness

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Speaker 2: and yeah, like over the last sort of ten years,

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Speaker 2: really specialized more in like the reformer pilates sector and

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Speaker 2: kind of like brought me to this moment where I

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Speaker 2: am in my life now and you know, talking about addiction.

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Speaker 2: For me, it's like a massive stigma, especially around men

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Speaker 2: and in an addiction and it's something I kind of

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Speaker 2: want to break past that sort of mold and just

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Speaker 2: bring it to people's attention.

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Speaker 3: To be honest with you.

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Speaker 1: All right, well, let's do this, because I agree there

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Speaker 1: is a lot of stigma and a lot of assumptions,

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Speaker 1: and we need to sort of clear the air with

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Speaker 1: these views, with this topic and I guess normalize these conversations.

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Speaker 1: So can we just go back to your past lifestyle

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Speaker 1: and explain what was going on big weekends blowouts, like

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Speaker 1: what did this look like for you?

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Speaker 2: Totally? So just like you say, give it some content.

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Speaker 2: It didn't always start off like this, you know, growing

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Speaker 2: up in you know, I didn't really start drinking til

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Speaker 2: my late sort of teens, like eighteen nineteen.

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Speaker 3: But the signs were always there.

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Speaker 2: I actually got blackout drunk my very first time I

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Speaker 2: drunk with a friend and I thought that was perfectly normal,

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Speaker 2: and I thought it was so much fun, whereas my

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Speaker 2: friend didn't. But I couldn't wait to do it again.

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Speaker 2: You know, there was definitely a sign there. But you know,

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Speaker 2: growing up as a teenager in your early twenties, you know,

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Speaker 2: in in and around London, it's almost kind of expected.

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Speaker 3: It's like that's the norm. You work your nine to five.

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Speaker 2: At the weekend, you sort of you go to the pub,

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Speaker 2: you go to the clubs, you get drunk, and you

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Speaker 2: know that was kind of like rinse, repeat pretty much

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Speaker 2: throughout my whole sort of twenties, and I've had the

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Speaker 2: best times, don't get me wrong, Like anyone would be

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Speaker 2: lying if they said a drink or two wouldn't enhance

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Speaker 2: a good night out. And you know, and you know,

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Speaker 2: it started off with a little bit wee hearing there

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Speaker 2: and you know, going into your twenties and obviously living

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Speaker 2: so close to a place like Hibifa, massive party scene

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Speaker 2: right going over there, you know, experimenting with drugs and people,

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Speaker 2: and for me, like growing up as a kid, I

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Speaker 2: never quite felt like I fitted in. I just didn't

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Speaker 2: quite seem seen, if that kind of makes sense. And

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Speaker 2: you know, alcohol and sort of taking drugs and party

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Speaker 2: gave me that sort of community and also gave me

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Speaker 2: that confidence to sort of fit in, like gave me

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Speaker 2: kind of purpose.

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Speaker 1: Almost like you felt connected to those people.

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Speaker 2: Percent one hundred percent. And like I said, in the twenties,

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Speaker 2: it is fun, It is really fun. But as you

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Speaker 2: start getting into your late twenties, early thirties, I'd say

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Speaker 2: in thirties, it's kind of like fun with problems. And

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Speaker 2: then when you get into like your late thirties early

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Speaker 2: forties now like myself, that you know, there is just

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Speaker 2: problems for me?

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Speaker 3: Anyway?

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Speaker 1: Can you share with us what those problems I.

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Speaker 3: Just look like.

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Speaker 2: I mean, you know, I from the outside looking in,

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Speaker 2: you know, I've got a successful pt business. You know,

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Speaker 2: I don't have any debt, I got a car, I

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Speaker 2: got nice things from you know, if you were looking

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Speaker 2: at my life from the outside, you think, you know,

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Speaker 2: everything was going perfectly normal, and I was absolutely fine.

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Speaker 2: But I just did not like the person it made

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Speaker 2: me become. I always felt a deep burning in my

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Speaker 2: soul that something was not right.

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Speaker 1: Living like your authentic self didn't like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my authentic self. I was like a chameleon trying

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Speaker 2: to like, you know, one friend, so they would do this,

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Speaker 2: so i'd, you know, I'd behave this way with them.

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Speaker 2: I just tried to fit into so many different circles.

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Speaker 2: I just lost who I was physically, emotionally, spiritually. And

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Speaker 2: that was what truly truly scared me.

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Speaker 1: And is that when you felt like sort of things

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Speaker 1: such as spiral out of control.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you know it's difficult because you know, for me,

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Speaker 2: I went down the route of alcohol and drugs.

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Speaker 3: It's escapism.

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Speaker 2: Now, if anyone's listening to this podcast, and you know

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Speaker 2: they're like it might not be alcohol and drugs, it

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Speaker 2: might be food, it might be gambling, work, anything that

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Speaker 2: kind of gets shopping, definitely shopping, anything to.

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Speaker 3: Get you out of oneself. So it's a feeling.

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Speaker 2: So if you want to feel a certain way or

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Speaker 2: escape or escape through feeling exactly, you're going to use

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Speaker 2: something to kind of get you there. So you can

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Speaker 2: take that away, like I can take away drugs and alcohol,

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Speaker 2: or you can take away shopping or food, but you're

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Speaker 2: left with oneself. So it's not a problem with the

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Speaker 2: substance or the thing you're using. It's a problem with yourself.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what you're using as a band aid or a

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Speaker 1: mask totally.

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Speaker 2: So you know, I would really recommend anyone listening to,

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Speaker 2: you know, to take a step back and you know,

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Speaker 2: take that stuff away. And once that's stripped away, it's like,

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Speaker 2: what are you left with? What is it you're trying

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Speaker 2: to escape, but what is it you're trying to you

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Speaker 2: know feel?

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Speaker 3: And like for me, there's.

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Speaker 2: A real deep, deep fear from childhood of not being

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Speaker 2: good enough, like I mentioned earlier, not feeling that I

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Speaker 2: quite fitted in and didn't really have a sort of

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Speaker 2: purpose in life.

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Speaker 1: Can I ask you how much. And obviously we're talking

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Speaker 1: about money, and money and wealth comes on very different levels.

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Speaker 1: It's not just monetary, it's you know, your richness of

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Speaker 1: your connections around you and internally in your connections of it,

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Speaker 1: you know, experience and building memories. But from a monetary

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Speaker 1: point of view, you know, a big night out party, alcohol, drugs,

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Speaker 1: how much money would you say that, you know, you

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Speaker 1: would spend all night out?

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Speaker 2: Great question, great question, Like except before, like in my

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Speaker 2: early twenties, maybe not so much. Like we would get

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Speaker 2: like maybe a couple of bags in and it would

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Speaker 2: be shared between a group of us. Right, you know,

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Speaker 2: you're fine, but you know, like any addiction, it's progressive,

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Speaker 2: you know, so the more you take it, the more

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Speaker 2: you want.

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Speaker 3: And we need more to hit that hard exactly.

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Speaker 2: And you know, my mentality was work hard, play hard,

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Speaker 2: you know, So I was earning the money, so in

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Speaker 2: my in my mind, I justified being able to get more, okay,

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Speaker 2: you know, and again it's that rint sort of repeat.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean, I mean it's crazy because I

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Speaker 2: moved to Australia. It's one of the most expensive places

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Speaker 2: in the world to buy cocaine. It's crazy and it's

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Speaker 2: one of the most used countries. There's so many users

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Speaker 2: out there. Like I said, it's almost expected you go

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Speaker 2: out on a Friday. Saturday night is literally everywhere in

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Speaker 2: my opinion from what I see. So you know, you

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Speaker 2: could be spending a couple of hundred bucks up to

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think the most I've spent it cr

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Speaker 2: cringe thinking about it now, but you know, up to

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Speaker 2: two grands easy in my life, in a weekend, in

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Speaker 2: a weekend weekend, in a weekend Sunday. Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 2: if you're going out Friday, there's been a couplications, you know,

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Speaker 2: going out Friday, and you know it's ended up on

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Speaker 2: a Sunday, and it's just it's not good. So for me,

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Speaker 2: you know, just having that sense of guilt shame. I

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Speaker 2: can't believe I've done that again, you know, and then

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Speaker 2: by the time the weekend comes around, you doing it again.

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Speaker 3: And for me, that was insanity.

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Speaker 1: And that likes that's the thing that it becomes a habit.

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Speaker 1: It's your go to how you spend money. So think

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Speaker 1: about that. Okay, the big weekend or the big night out,

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Speaker 1: what would the ongoing financial repercussion, you know, such a

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Speaker 1: sick days, you know, missed work, medical bills. Uber eats.

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Speaker 2: Yeah again another great question, you know for me because

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Speaker 2: I'm self employed, there definitely was a knock on effects

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Speaker 2: from that, you know, like the next day just you know,

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Speaker 2: being that hungover can't be bother to cook, can't be

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Speaker 2: you know, So the Uber eats in the morning like

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Speaker 2: literally for like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. So that's like

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Speaker 2: an extra you know, one hundred bucks there. And you know,

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Speaker 2: if I did go hard, that would spill into like

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Speaker 2: Monday morning, so it might be rearranging clients, getting some

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Speaker 2: classes covered. So it's really hard for me to put

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Speaker 2: a number on it. But there definitely was a knock

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Speaker 2: on effect because I kind of had that flexibility where

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Speaker 2: I could sort of move clients or find cover. But

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Speaker 2: I did try not to do that even throughout my usage.

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Speaker 2: I was always trying to keep it professional, but definitely

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Speaker 2: towards the end, it was definitely becoming more harder to manage.

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Speaker 3: For sure.

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Speaker 1: What was your turning point? Like when did you okay,

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Speaker 1: enough's enough? And I imagine it wouldn't just was it.

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Speaker 1: Did it creep up on you or did you just

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Speaker 1: wake up one day and go, Okay, I've got a

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Speaker 1: problem or this isn't how I want to live my life,

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Speaker 1: Like can you talk us through that?

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Speaker 2: Like I said, like all throughout my life, I always

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Speaker 2: felt that this was not my true, authentic self, but

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Speaker 2: I just found myself doing it anyway. And maybe I'd

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Speaker 2: say before the last sort of three to four years,

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Speaker 2: I've had time sort of abstinence, so maybe a couple

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Speaker 2: of months here, you know, I thought I could stop,

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Speaker 2: and you know, I'd celebrate that abstinence by going on

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Speaker 2: a bender.

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Speaker 1: It was crazy, right, You'd always like, go, look, I

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Speaker 1: don't have a problem because I've managed to.

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Speaker 3: Stop exactly exactly.

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Speaker 1: You know, I can let my head out.

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Speaker 2: Now, totally, totally, and I see it a lot of times.

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Speaker 2: I see it all the time.

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Speaker 3: And that was me.

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Speaker 2: That was a classic version of me. I'd stop, and

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Speaker 2: you know, I'd congratulate myself by going on this bender.

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Speaker 2: And I just got to the point where I was

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Speaker 2: sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. You know,

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Speaker 2: I was using in on emotion. So again, that's a

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Speaker 2: massive red flag for anyone out there listening. You know,

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Speaker 2: if you're happy, sad, angry, frustrated, if you're using a

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Speaker 2: substance or you know, food, like we spoke about before,

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Speaker 2: to sort of like numb that feeling, that's a massive

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Speaker 2: red flag to look out for. So using on emotion

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Speaker 2: and anything I use for an excuse, sometimes i'd actually

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Speaker 2: pick a fight with a friend or use an example

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Speaker 2: just to sort.

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Speaker 1: Of to create the situation to give yourself permission.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. It was literally insanity.

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Speaker 2: And I got to a point where, you know, I

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Speaker 2: was drinking or you know, smoking a joint again, like

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Speaker 2: really busy, and I'd reward myself by smoking a joint

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Speaker 2: at the end of the night, thinking it's okay, and

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Speaker 2: it definitely was not okay. And I got to a point.

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Speaker 2: I think there was like a three month period where

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Speaker 2: I pretty much drunk or used every single day for

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Speaker 2: three months, and I was not quite at my rock bottom,

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Speaker 2: but I saw my rock bottom approaching and I just

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Speaker 2: did not know who I was anymore. And it was

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Speaker 2: then I'm made a decision to stop. I stopped on

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Speaker 2: the Monday, and I was a week into white knuckling it.

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Speaker 2: So white knuckling is a phrase use when you just stop,

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Speaker 2: you know, whatever you're doing. Like I said, you know, drink,

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Speaker 2: drunk food, whatever, but you're not actually addressing the reason

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Speaker 2: as to why you're doing that. Okay, So it's just

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Speaker 2: like hardballing it, so to speak.

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Speaker 1: So it's almost like a surface level detox without the

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Speaker 1: deep meaningful.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, absolutely absolutely.

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Speaker 2: And then a good friend of mine who I hadn't

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Speaker 2: spoken to for about a year and a half randomly

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Speaker 2: sends me a podcast I'm on the couch, look at

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Speaker 2: this podcast funny enough, and it was a podcast with

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Speaker 2: Russell Brand and how he got sober through AA and

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Speaker 2: working a suggested twelve steps program of recovery. And I

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Speaker 2: was like, wow, you know, have I have I spoken

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Speaker 2: like I couldn't believe he just sent sent this podcast

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Speaker 2: out the blue. So I ended up calling him up

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Speaker 2: and he turns out he was working in Thailand in

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Speaker 2: a rehub center and he himself is fourteen years cleaning

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Speaker 2: sober and he just felt like he needed to send

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Speaker 2: it to me out of the blue. So it was

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Speaker 2: I don't know if we call it like a god

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Speaker 2: job or a higher power the universe come into play,

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Speaker 2: but you know, I owe that guy pretty much my life,

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Speaker 2: and you know, I broke down in tears with him.

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Speaker 2: It was really emotional, and it was the first time

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Speaker 2: I kind of really ever admitted to myself that I

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Speaker 2: probably had a problem.

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Speaker 1: Was there a huge relief?

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Speaker 3: Inyah, it was such a relief.

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Speaker 2: It brings back quite a lot of emotional emotions now

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Speaker 2: actually just thinking about it. And you know, the next

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Speaker 2: day went on to Google and got myself into my

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Speaker 2: first ever meeting, and as soon as I walked into

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Speaker 2: those doors, it felt like the chains had literally just

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Speaker 2: come off, and I just felt this huge sense of relief.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, when you decided, you know, to quit and to

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Speaker 1: make book there first AA meeting, how did you get

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Speaker 1: help and support to knowing what you wanted to do

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Speaker 1: for yourself in an affordable way. I feel like some

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Speaker 1: people think they can't afford to do this. They can't.

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Speaker 1: They use obviously as excuse use it as a blog.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, definitely. So again it brings it back to

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Speaker 2: like what works for you. This is a program that's

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Speaker 2: worked for me. I mean, there's many twelve step programs

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Speaker 2: recovery out there. I've known people to get sober through rehabs,

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Speaker 2: through different sorts.

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Speaker 3: Of clinics, counseling, that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 2: So I would urge anyone out there who this you know,

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Speaker 2: if this is sort of resonating with anyone, you know,

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Speaker 2: do your research. There's so much out there. But for me,

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Speaker 2: this is what worked for me. And it's actually a

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Speaker 2: free program. It's amazing. You know, it's a worldwide program

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Speaker 2: and it's self contributing through their own contributions, which denies

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Speaker 2: any support from outside organizations. And it's not affiliated with anything,

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Speaker 2: so you know.

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Speaker 1: I can't it's completely independent.

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Speaker 2: It's completely independent through the fellows who kind of go

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Speaker 2: into the program, which is just just amazing. It's just amazing.

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Speaker 2: So but like I said, I can't stress. This is

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Speaker 2: what works for me. It may not work for the user,

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Speaker 2: the listener out there, and there is so much good

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Speaker 2: out there. So the first step is to communicate, Okay,

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Speaker 2: speak to someone, speak to someone, but you know it's

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Speaker 2: okay not to be okay hmmm.

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Speaker 1: And there are so many people out there who have

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Speaker 1: heard it all, seen little before. They're not judging, they

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Speaker 1: just want to help you.

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Speaker 3: Ah.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, the love and support I have received, not just

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Speaker 2: through the program but from work, colleagues, my clients, I

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Speaker 2: was really scared to tell anyone, and all I received was,

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Speaker 2: you know, love and support, which I'm so so grateful for.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, but it can be scary, it can be

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Speaker 2: so scary to reach out, and it's you know, it's

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Speaker 2: a sign of strength. It's a sign of strength. You know,

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Speaker 2: recovery is a sign of strength. You know, it takes

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Speaker 2: real courage for someone to stand up and say, hey,

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Speaker 2: look this is not working for me.

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Speaker 3: I need help. How can I you.

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Speaker 2: Know, because I never before my friend, you know, I

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Speaker 2: didn't really know anything about recovery. I didn't know anything

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Speaker 2: about detox programs, counsel in.

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Speaker 3: I just thought this was the norm.

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Speaker 2: You know, you do go on social media and it's

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Speaker 2: glamorized and drinking is you know, we're almost encouraged from

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Speaker 2: an early age. You know, this is our conditioning. We're

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Speaker 2: conditioned to have it. And if you don't, then drink.

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Speaker 2: Moving forward, you know, you're kind of seen as the

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Speaker 2: odd one out of the weirdo.

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean, and this is hopefully this world is

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Speaker 1: shifting where it's you know, particular Australia. You you know,

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Speaker 1: you go to a wedding, you drink. You go to

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Speaker 1: an engagement party, you drink. You go to someone's birthday,

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Speaker 1: you drink. You go to a funeral, awake, you most

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Speaker 1: often drink. You go to a sporting event, you drink.

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Speaker 1: You might go to a concert, you drink. So many

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Speaker 1: of our vities are surrounded by alcohol, and you know,

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Speaker 1: people sort of assume because you don't drink, it's because

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Speaker 1: you've got a problem. But there are more and more

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Speaker 1: people out there going, you know, sober curious people including myself,

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Speaker 1: and going actually I don't I don't need this, or

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Speaker 1: being more selective as to when they choose to maybe

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Speaker 1: have a couple of drinks. Like you know, hopefully we're

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Speaker 1: changing it. You know, people don't judge each other for

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Speaker 1: not drinking, but we're all able to make our own

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Speaker 1: decisions and we should all respect each others and each

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Speaker 1: other's journey. Coming to you back to your finance, as

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Speaker 1: you were saying, you know, for example, one weekend you

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Speaker 1: spent up to two thousand dollars, and you know there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of indirect costs as well, you know, things

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Speaker 1: like getting a taxi, ubers, you know, the restaurants and

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Speaker 1: the bars as well as obviously the you know, the

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Speaker 1: drugs and alcohol and the sleeping in and the ubaries

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Speaker 1: the next day since going sober, How is your financial

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Speaker 1: situation change, and how do you feel about your financial situation?

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Speaker 2: During my using and stuff, one of my biggest fears

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Speaker 2: were not being financially stable with my future. And it

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Speaker 2: was crazy because the irony is I'm going out spending

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Speaker 2: all this money because I'm worrying about my financial future.

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Speaker 3: But I just couldn't break the habit. So it's like insanity, right.

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Speaker 2: But now yeah, like now I'm almost five months sober

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Speaker 2: now and it's really given me the opportunity to focus

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Speaker 2: more on my recovery. So it's kind of given me

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Speaker 2: a little bit more financial freedom to kind of kind

391
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Speaker 2: of take the foot off the gas a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Which is what you probably needed.

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Speaker 2: Dispinalely deep down, definitely, like just from a physical, emotional, mental,

394
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Speaker 2: like I said, spiritual everything. I was in complete burnout

395
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Speaker 2: because I had to work those hours because I kind

396
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Speaker 2: of like I was like, well, I need to do

397
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Speaker 2: this because you know last weekend, I've done that, and

398
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Speaker 2: it was just it was just no letter. It was

399
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,040
Speaker 2: twenty four to seven. It was twenty four to seven,

400
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:50,639
Speaker 2: you know, setting an expectation of myself and now coming

401
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Speaker 2: out of that, you know, I'm a lot more calmer

402
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Speaker 2: like life still happens, right, we still have like the

403
00:19:57,359 --> 00:20:01,320
Speaker 2: financial straints. You know, we live in a very expensive area.

404
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,160
Speaker 2: Price a living is going up. But I'm able now

405
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:08,000
Speaker 2: to look at that from a more of a calmer,

406
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Speaker 2: less brillient, resilient way and knowing and I can now

407
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:16,000
Speaker 2: budget actually way more easier because now I know I'm

408
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Speaker 2: not going to be spending X amount per weekend, like

409
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Speaker 2: say one weekend it might be five hundred, the other

410
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Speaker 2: might be two grand.

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Speaker 3: You never know.

412
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Speaker 2: So now I can actually look at what's coming in

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Speaker 2: and actually go, Okay, this is for that, this is

414
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Speaker 2: for that. You know, there's no there's no hidden weekends.

415
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Speaker 2: I'm just going to blow up and waste a load

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Speaker 2: of money. So I'm in a lot more control, which

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Speaker 2: is a really nice place to be in.

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Speaker 1: And like, correct me if I'm wrong. But you know,

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Speaker 1: I imagine when you're in the thick of you know,

420
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:48,360
Speaker 1: big nights out and big weekends, you know, you would

421
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Speaker 1: discover your cash flow or savings drop after the event,

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Speaker 1: whereas this time around, you're more proactive in directing, Okay,

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Speaker 1: well I'm going to spend one thousand dollars on a

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Speaker 1: weekend away for myself and or going to this particular

425
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:06,440
Speaker 1: retreat or doing this particular program or course. Like it's

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Speaker 1: You're back in the driving seat again, financially.

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Speaker 2: One hundred percent, Like you know, I'm in control. It's

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Speaker 2: funny you said about the driving seats through active addiction.

429
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Speaker 2: You're kind of like I felt like I was either

430
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Speaker 2: in the fast lane like chaos, or in the slow

431
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Speaker 2: lane in despair.

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Speaker 3: Now it's like I'm just cruising in the middle lane.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: It's really nice. It's like you're in control. You're not

435
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 2: going to be crashing into anything. You can you know,

436
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,400
Speaker 2: like I say, you can plan. I've got a trip

437
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:33,679
Speaker 2: plan to going back to the Europe already, which I've

438
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,720
Speaker 2: already paid for. Normally I would be leaving it up

439
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:40,680
Speaker 2: until you know, a few weeks before and scrambling around

440
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,760
Speaker 2: my finances whatever. So that's all paid. I'm going to

441
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,720
Speaker 2: the south of France and my family. You know, I've

442
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:50,360
Speaker 2: been able to go onto yoga retreats, men's retreat invest

443
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:54,200
Speaker 2: in stuff for the house, like my own health, stuff

444
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,120
Speaker 2: like that, which is really nice to be in, nice

445
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:57,840
Speaker 2: position to be.

446
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:00,960
Speaker 1: In and of course, like incredibly important health is wealth.

447
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:04,480
Speaker 1: You know, there's no point, billions of dollars and you know,

448
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,360
Speaker 1: you can't breathe can't get up a flat of stairs,

449
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:08,719
Speaker 1: can't run around.

450
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 2: That is true, and you know, obviously working in the

451
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,520
Speaker 2: fitness industry, you know, and I used to use this

452
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,840
Speaker 2: analogy to my clients and I kind of felt like

453
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,359
Speaker 2: a bit of a fraud before because behind closed doors,

454
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 2: I was doing all this wild stuff. But you know,

455
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,600
Speaker 2: it's you know, if you're optimizing your health, it's just

456
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,360
Speaker 2: going to have a knock on effect with your business.

457
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 2: Like if the better you are, the better you're sleep,

458
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 2: the more effective you are going to be at work,

459
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 2: which in term will make you more productive, you know,

460
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 2: and which will have a knock on you know, whether

461
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 2: depending on what work you do, you know, more sales,

462
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 2: blah blah blah, you're going to be more likable, so

463
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,640
Speaker 2: you're not going to have such a short fus. It's

464
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,640
Speaker 2: just really it's just a win when in my opinion,

465
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 2: would you.

466
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,800
Speaker 1: Say that you're a far more motivated as well financially

467
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,159
Speaker 1: you know, you've got that sense of clarity again in

468
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:54,639
Speaker 1: your life.

469
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 3: Yes, it's funny.

470
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 2: I was having this conversation with a friend of mine

471
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:02,359
Speaker 2: yesterday and we'll talk around sort of like ambition and purpose.

472
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,200
Speaker 2: And as I've started to heal and become a little

473
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 2: bit more peaceful, I don't think I have as much ambition.

474
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 2: But when I actually I had to look at them.

475
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:14,360
Speaker 2: At the dictionary meaning of ambition, it's really to succeed

476
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:18,399
Speaker 2: in oneself, so it's for personal gain, whereas purpose is

477
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:24,399
Speaker 2: believing in a bigger picture and a providing an opportunity

478
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 2: that's for other people and not just for oneself.

479
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 3: Does that make sense?

480
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,040
Speaker 2: So I still have goals and I want to succeed,

481
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:35,679
Speaker 2: but for me it's about, you know, a bigger picture,

482
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 2: not just about myself. You know, because when you are

483
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 2: an addiction and stuff, it is all about yourself. You

484
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 2: do not care about anyone else. You're just caring about

485
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 2: getting the drink or getting that bit of food or

486
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:49,399
Speaker 2: whatever it is. Whereas now it's not about me, it's

487
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,119
Speaker 2: about other people. It's about giving back, it's about love,

488
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,480
Speaker 2: and you know, how can I help? How can I

489
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 2: be of service of someone else?

490
00:23:56,840 --> 00:24:00,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, you've gone through so much in such

491
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: a short period of time. Can I ask you a

492
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,960
Speaker 1: personal question and by always say no? For people who

493
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:12,119
Speaker 1: are already on their path of sobriety and how do

494
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:18,119
Speaker 1: you deal with the fear of slipping up? Great question

495
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 1: and I say that ago because if you sleep, Bob

496
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:22,720
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. You can get back on the bandwagon. And

497
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 1: I don't say that to scare.

498
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:27,399
Speaker 2: Your do you know what it's again, it's an awesome question,

499
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 2: and it's you can achieve anything one day at a time.

500
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 2: So I can't think I don't know what's going to

501
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,120
Speaker 2: happen next week, I don't know what's going to happen

502
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 2: in a month's time. All I know today is I'm

503
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 2: not going to pick up a drink or I'm not

504
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,320
Speaker 2: going to pick up a drug. And we can achieve

505
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,680
Speaker 2: when you break it down like that, you've got okay,

506
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:46,840
Speaker 2: I can achieve this, I can achieve this, and over

507
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:48,920
Speaker 2: these small days, that's when you build up some sort

508
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 2: of time. And it's just like training, right like I

509
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:55,920
Speaker 2: said earlier in the podcast, like it's not what you're using,

510
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,440
Speaker 2: it's a you problem, right, So you've got to put

511
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,120
Speaker 2: the work in, just like you go into the Okay,

512
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 2: you're only going to get out of any program, whether

513
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 2: it's you know, working a twelve step counseling, whatever it

514
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 2: may be that works for you. The only way you're

515
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,960
Speaker 2: going to succeed in that is if you fully commit

516
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 2: to it and you're vigorously honest with yourself. That's the

517
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 2: only thing. And like it's like going to the gym,

518
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:18,440
Speaker 2: you're only going to ge out what you're going to

519
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 2: put in. You're still going to eat crap and you know,

520
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 2: and not do all the stuff. You're going to look

521
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 2: like crap. Right, So it's kind of same with recovery.

522
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:30,639
Speaker 2: And you know, so it's like for me, what's working

523
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:33,160
Speaker 2: for me is you know, I have an amazing sponsor.

524
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:37,399
Speaker 2: You know, it's going to regular meetings, just keeping my

525
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:41,879
Speaker 2: side of the street clean and doing the work, you know,

526
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 2: working the steps for me. And you know, it's it's

527
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,280
Speaker 2: like a business. It's like you do a fearless inventory

528
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 2: on yourself, like any good business. You know, once a

529
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,639
Speaker 2: year you've got to do an inventory, right it stock

530
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,399
Speaker 2: take you know what's working, what's not working, And you

531
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 2: know that's what I've done on myself so that that

532
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,879
Speaker 2: holds me accountable. But like I say, all I can

533
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 2: all I know for today, I can do that, So

534
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 2: you know, I sound a pretty good chance I think

535
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,959
Speaker 2: for the next twenty four hours. But you know, if

536
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 2: it does happen, you know, you just have to pick

537
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,360
Speaker 2: yourself up and get back into it.

538
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 1: You know, I'm so glad you answer this question, and

539
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 1: I'm so incredibly grateful because everything you've said is exactly

540
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,719
Speaker 1: the same with money. What you put in is what

541
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 1: you get out. You want to have a goal of

542
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:29,160
Speaker 1: being financially independent, want to have a goal of being

543
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:32,160
Speaker 1: financially free, or even financial harmony in your life, You've

544
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 1: got to put the work in. You've got to learn

545
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 1: to manage money. You've just like you've got to learn

546
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 1: to manage your vices, your addictions, your triggers. You've got

547
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 1: to learn to be patient. You've got to learn to

548
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 1: be kind to yourself. You go to learn to stay

549
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,200
Speaker 1: focused and dedicated and building up that in a confidence

550
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,639
Speaker 1: within yourself. And you know, yes, you just like money.

551
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,719
Speaker 1: You may make a bad investment, you may go and

552
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:59,640
Speaker 1: have a blowout and buy a whole pile of clothes

553
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 1: or or makeup or whatever your thing is, but you

554
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,160
Speaker 1: can only deal with what you're doing with right now.

555
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 1: If you have that, it's okay. You get back on

556
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,639
Speaker 1: the bandwagon again, and you know exactly what to do

557
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 1: to get back on the bandwagon and help make up

558
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,480
Speaker 1: for lost time or make up for lost money. And

559
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,879
Speaker 1: so what you were saying is exactly the same as money,

560
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:25,119
Speaker 1: you know, it's the same dedicated commitment and breaking it

561
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 1: down into just take it day by day, you know.

562
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: And the journey of getting out of debt is a

563
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 1: slow and painful one and comes with, you know, lots

564
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 1: of uncomfortable conversations within yourself about what triggered you to

565
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 1: spend money, or why something happened, or what are you learning,

566
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:46,119
Speaker 1: how you're growing. So these things, the conversation of sobriety

567
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:51,879
Speaker 1: and addiction and money are very much aligned. And you know,

568
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,200
Speaker 1: that's why I think it's so important to have these conversations,

569
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:56,439
Speaker 1: to see that we are all in the same boat together.

570
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 1: We're all trying to do our best, but to really

571
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,679
Speaker 1: respect sect and show that unconditional love and support for

572
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:05,639
Speaker 1: each other so that we can all go on our paths,

573
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 1: on our journeys, heading in a happier, healthier, richer direction,

574
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 1: both financially but more so like energetically, spiritually, and mentally. Look, Adam,

575
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 1: thank you so much for sharing your story, your powerful story,

576
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:26,119
Speaker 1: your war on a story and it is incredible to

577
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:30,720
Speaker 1: see how your own self discipline, resilience and clear vision

578
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:36,240
Speaker 1: has transformed your own personal life, both financially and spiritually.

579
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 1: And you know over a really short period of time,

580
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:44,719
Speaker 1: and the new level of quality that you are living

581
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 1: every single day and your journey for all the listeners

582
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 1: is a reminder of that. You know, financial decisions that

583
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:54,480
Speaker 1: we make, big or small, impact our future, just like

584
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 1: your daily decisions to stay sober and to focus on

585
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 1: you know, your miss your vision for life, and you

586
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 1: know for the listeners right now, if you're anything we've

587
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 1: spoken about this morning has resonated with you, or if

588
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 1: you know someone who is struggling, please know that there

589
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:14,400
Speaker 1: is so much help available and as Adam has said,

590
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:17,480
Speaker 1: it's free, It's not going to cost you anything, and

591
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:21,760
Speaker 1: seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. There

592
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:25,720
Speaker 1: are professionals and resources who can give you the guidance

593
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 1: towards the healthier, more secure future and you will reap

594
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:34,080
Speaker 1: all the wonderful benefits with this with no regrets. So Adam,

595
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 1: thank you so much. For anyone that wants to get

596
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 1: some help or possibly reach out to you, where is

597
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 1: the best place for them to find you.

598
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks, Kenna. So probably the best way to reach

599
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 2: out to me is on my Instagram. My Instagram handle

600
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 2: is Adam Cooper Fitness, or they can reach out to

601
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 2: you and I'm sure you can point them into the

602
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:54,800
Speaker 2: right direction.

603
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:56,520
Speaker 1: Yes, well, and of course we will go and link

604
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 1: everything in the past notes for the listener.

605
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 2: But yeah, on that note, I I am more than

606
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:06,160
Speaker 2: willing to reach out and speak to anyone. And you know,

607
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 2: it is all about the community helping out, helping out

608
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 2: each other.

609
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 3: And yeah, you know there is a solution. You know,

610
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 3: there is a.

611
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: Solution, solution, and so much support, so much, so much

612
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 1: safe support too. Yes, all right, well, look that is

613
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,720
Speaker 1: it for today's episode of Sugar Mama's Fireplay. I really

614
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 1: hope you're feeling inspired as always, empowered and ready to

615
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 1: take action on your financial journey towards independently and ready

616
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:36,680
Speaker 1: to take your own journey to financial independence. If you've

617
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 1: enjoyed this episode, please can you do me a huge

618
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 1: favor and share it with someone who could benefit from

619
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 1: listening to Adam's story. And of course don't forget to

620
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:47,239
Speaker 1: make sure you are following this show so that you

621
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 1: never miss a beat in the meantime, keep learning, keep growing,

622
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 1: and most importantly, keep that financial fire burning bright until

623
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,040
Speaker 1: next Monday. Japanel