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Speaker 1: I'll get a your bloody champs. It's the project that's you.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, it's four minutes past midday, it's Tuesday. I'm

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Speaker 1: sounding very much like a radio presenter right now, sitting

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Speaker 1: on sixteen degrees in Hampton, heading for a top of

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Speaker 1: twenty two joining me today in the studio, and by

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Speaker 1: that I mean the virtual studio.

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Speaker 2: Tiffany and Cook, Hi Cook, Craig, Anthony Harper reporting it for.

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Speaker 1: Judy sir ah, who's Judy? Oh see what I did there?

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Speaker 1: Doctor Jody Richardson is also in the studio, the virtual studio.

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Speaker 2: Hi Joe, Hi Harps, Hi tiv hi Ah.

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you what. The old radio days, I don't

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Speaker 1: really miss them, but sometimes it's a bit of fun

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Speaker 1: just to morph back into that bloody you know a

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Speaker 1: little bit of FM magic, isn't it. You're still doing

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Speaker 1: your weaving. Your not allowed to say magic because that's

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Speaker 1: inconsistent with Christianity, But are you still weaving your skills

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Speaker 1: over there at Light FM?

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Speaker 2: I am. We just had the Relate mental health events,

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Speaker 2: so two events, one in Mount Evelyn on Monday night

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Speaker 2: and one in West Meadows on Tuesday night. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: and the weekly podcast is keep on, keeping on. I

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Speaker 2: love working with the crew at Positive Media.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they are very good, very good, and they do.

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Speaker 1: They do push a lot of great stuff out into

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Speaker 1: the world. And if ever we needed good stuff, positive stuff,

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Speaker 1: positive mental health and emotional health being shoved down our

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Speaker 1: faces better than something negative. Now is the time. How

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Speaker 1: is well, Hello anxiety. How's your little potty? Well, not little?

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Speaker 1: How's your big potty going?

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Speaker 2: Oh so good. We've had a change of potty artwork,

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Speaker 2: which is really lovely. So I actually designed the artwork

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Speaker 2: for the podcast myself, and that is evident when you

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Speaker 2: have a look at it, like, I'm reasonably happy with it.

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Speaker 2: But do you know, I was so anxious about starting.

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Speaker 2: There were so many the irony bread I know exactly exactly.

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Speaker 2: There were so many things that could have stopped me

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Speaker 2: from moving forward. And I thought, if I go down

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Speaker 2: the rabbit hole of getting artwork done, I think I

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Speaker 2: could probably push this thing out for another couple of months,

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Speaker 2: which was where my head was at. So I just thought,

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Speaker 2: you know, I'm just going to do it myself and

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Speaker 2: get on with it. But yeah, I've actually just had

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Speaker 2: a professional podcast cast artwork design, so that'll come through

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Speaker 2: in the feed soon, which is nice.

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Speaker 1: So you're not changing in the name of the show,

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Speaker 1: you're just changing the artwork.

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Speaker 2: No, they actually properly designed the logo using the same

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Speaker 2: fonts and the same kind of look and feel. But

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Speaker 2: the artwork, you know, the little tile, that little thumbnail

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Speaker 2: that goes with makes the podcast recognizable. It's completely changing

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Speaker 2: so that it's time and it looks beautiful. So podcast

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Speaker 2: is going well. Had some really really good interviews, and

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Speaker 2: just the feedback that I'm getting from people about the

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Speaker 2: way it's really supporting them is really beautiful. So thanks

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Speaker 2: for asking.

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Speaker 1: Well it is a good little show or a good

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Speaker 1: big show. It's called well, hello anxiety, everybody, So just

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Speaker 1: wright down a few things here as you chat that

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Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about today. It's so

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Speaker 1: funny when you talk about getting anxious about like the

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Speaker 1: queen of anxiety, getting anxious, which we know you've spoken

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Speaker 1: about many times. Understanding anxiety doesn't mean that you've dispensed

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Speaker 1: with anxiety, just like me talking about being a high

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Speaker 1: performer doesn't necessarily mean I'm a high performer at any

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Speaker 1: fucking stage. But it's so true though. I think that's

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Speaker 1: what makes hopefully us. Hopefully I'll let the audience be

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Speaker 1: a judge, but hopefully us. Three relatable is that we're

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Speaker 1: all still works in progress and we're okay with that.

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Speaker 1: But at the same time, I can be a bit

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Speaker 1: broken and a little bit amazing, and I can still

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Speaker 1: encourage and support people while not waiting for all of

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Speaker 1: my shit to be sorted necessarily. You know, we're not

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Speaker 1: aiming for perfection, as they say, just a bit of

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Speaker 1: growth and improvement, Jody.

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Speaker 2: And perfection doesn't exist really, and if you aim for

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Speaker 2: that and wait for that, which a lot of people do,

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Speaker 2: and I understand anxieties often at the heart of that,

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Speaker 2: then you actually don't ever get anywhere. We just need

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Speaker 2: to be consistent. And I honestly think like I relate

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Speaker 2: mostly to people when they show a few kinks in

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Speaker 2: their armor and they're honest and open. And I actually

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Speaker 2: shared something on Instagram last week because I won't do

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Speaker 2: the gymnastics required to show you, but I'm in a

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Speaker 2: moon boot at the moment, and it's been really getting

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Speaker 2: me down. Like I'm actually really good now because I've

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Speaker 2: worked out that I can go back to CrossFit and

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Speaker 2: just do everything seated, not everything, but I can do

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Speaker 2: a whole lot of stuff, and I shared I actually

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Speaker 2: just recorded a video. I was waiting to pick up

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Speaker 2: the kids, and I just kind of shared that, you know,

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Speaker 2: like you might see me traveling around the country, you know,

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Speaker 2: speaking and doing work that I love. But you know,

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Speaker 2: it doesn't mean necessarily mean like we're just that reminder

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Speaker 2: that when we're just because you see stuff on socials

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Speaker 2: doesn't mean people aren't going through stuff. And I always

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Speaker 2: like to kind of share a little bit, not from

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Speaker 2: a real place of I don't like to share when

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Speaker 2: things are super raw and it could be really like

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Speaker 2: you know, unprocessed, and but yeah, just to say, hey,

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Speaker 2: I'm having a bit of a hard time. It's frustrating,

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Speaker 2: it's limiting, it's affecting my mood. I can't do the

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Speaker 2: things I want to do, but putting into practice the

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Speaker 2: things that I teach so often. And then that afternoon,

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Speaker 2: I just saw it stuff I'm going to go to

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Speaker 2: CrossFit and I'm just going to see my mates and

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Speaker 2: I'm going to do what I can. And it turned

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Speaker 2: everything around. So I think, like I just think about

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Speaker 2: if we can just be consistent and just keep working

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Speaker 2: and persist towards our goals, you know, aside from injury

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Speaker 2: and exercise and not talking about that so much. But

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Speaker 2: there's no such thing as perfection. We all struggle. We

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Speaker 2: just don't always see that people are struggling underneath, you know,

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Speaker 2: everything else.

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Speaker 1: It's hard when you're emotional, which we all are, especially

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Speaker 1: when it's about ourselves. It's all well and good to go, well,

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Speaker 1: just do this or we'll just you know. It's like

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Speaker 1: I put a post up the other day about how

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Speaker 1: unhelpful it is to tell a worried person not to worry,

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Speaker 1: you know, like telling an insomniac just to go to sleep,

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Speaker 1: you know, and it all like while the intentions are good,

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Speaker 1: you know, like to put your arm around someone and say,

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Speaker 1: don't worry about it. It's a nice intention and the

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Speaker 1: empathy is there, but it actually doesn't help anyone. It

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Speaker 1: might make them feel temporarily or momentarily kind of cared for,

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Speaker 1: but it still doesn't solve anything. And I think that,

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Speaker 1: you know, when you're in that funk where you're like,

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Speaker 1: I'm in a moonboot. This is not this is not

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Speaker 1: what I want to be happening. It's not where I

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Speaker 1: want to be. This stops me from doing these things

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Speaker 1: that make me feel good or it limits me, or like,

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Speaker 1: in the middle of that kind of potential emotional and

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Speaker 1: psychological spiral of whatever right for me, a couple of

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Speaker 1: things happen really matter for me. Two is context. So

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Speaker 1: I've over said this, but it's never not going to

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Speaker 1: be true. When I do something to my back or

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Speaker 1: I'm in a bit of pain or I'm having a

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Speaker 1: shit time, I just think of Johnny, who I train,

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Speaker 1: Who's by the way, Johnny's in hospital. Everyone we love

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Speaker 1: john john just had a skin graft yesterday and just

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Speaker 1: he has ongoing, ongoing challenges and pains but never complains.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go see him later today. So I

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Speaker 1: think of him, and I think, well, yeah, my problems

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Speaker 1: are one. And then also I think about in the

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Speaker 1: middle of my emotion and how I'm feeling, I think,

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Speaker 1: what's the best question that I can ask me? What's

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Speaker 1: the best question that I can ask me in the

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Speaker 1: light of what's going on in me emotionally, this is

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Speaker 1: how I feel. So I think, tell me what you

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Speaker 1: think about this. But I think, yeah, fully feel what

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Speaker 1: you feel. We're not saying don't feel what you feel.

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Speaker 1: We're not saying deny the feelings. We're not saying snap

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Speaker 1: out of it. We're not saying harden up, We're not

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Speaker 1: saying any of that. We're going I feel shit also,

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Speaker 1: And in other news, what can I do though, Oh,

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Speaker 1: I can go see my mates at CrossFit, and I

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Speaker 1: can probably figure out a few things to do for

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Speaker 1: my upper body or my core or my one good leg,

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Speaker 1: or at the very least I can have a meaningful

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Speaker 1: coral conversation, or I can laugh or you know. So

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, we're not denying the feeling, but

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Speaker 1: we're now focusing on something positive from a cognitive or

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Speaker 1: a psychological perspective that we can do to move forward.

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Speaker 2: You must have watched that post that I recorded, because

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Speaker 2: I did.

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Speaker 1: I Yes, I did. I totally ripped it off, and

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to say that was all out of

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Speaker 1: my head.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, just because one of the things that

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Speaker 2: I did say. And Carlie Taylor, who's been a guest

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Speaker 2: for you and a guess for me, she has studied

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Speaker 2: Japanese psychology and one of the things, one of the

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Speaker 2: philosophies or one of the learning's teachings is arugamama, which

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Speaker 2: is and I'm going to I'm going to like misquote this,

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Speaker 2: but paraphrasing, it's kind of with things as they are,

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Speaker 2: what can I do? So accepting the circumstances for what

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Speaker 2: they are? How can I move forward? What can I control?

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Speaker 2: And that was something that that I shared. But you know,

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Speaker 2: context is it's so it's so good because I sit

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Speaker 2: here thinking, oh, I did have a bit of a

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Speaker 2: like a bit of a down week and it was

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Speaker 2: you know, pain and not being able to do the

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Speaker 2: things you want to do and all that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 2: But context what you just said, it's so true, Like

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Speaker 2: we don't want to discount our experience of things because

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Speaker 2: it is still you know, maybe a challenge for us.

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Speaker 2: But when you stop and think, think, if it's temporary,

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Speaker 2: I've got the resources to be how to get the

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Speaker 2: help I need. So I'm really privileged like that I

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Speaker 2: know where to go, I know who to see, and yeah,

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Speaker 2: and I because I needed to be basically off my

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Speaker 2: feet and hadn't been, i'd been into state working and

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Speaker 2: traveling and presenting, I'd kind of made things worse. And

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Speaker 2: so yeah, yeah, so I think throws. I just remember

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Speaker 2: my psychologists used to just say to me that life

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Speaker 2: throws all sorts of challenges at us and that is

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Speaker 2: just part of being human. Like you can't avoid it,

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Speaker 2: but if you can have some helpful ways of thinking

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Speaker 2: about it, reframing it, and taking control of what you

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Speaker 2: can do despite what you can't, I think that's really powerful.

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Speaker 1: I think, firstly, agree with all of that. I think

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Speaker 1: the thing with anxiety and mental health in issue and

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Speaker 1: sadness and depression and overthinking and all of these kind

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Speaker 1: of intersecting psychological and emotional first cousins, right, that all

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Speaker 1: kind of live in the same cognitive zip code trying

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Speaker 1: to figure out you know, it's different for different people,

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Speaker 1: Like for me, movement is a really big part of

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Speaker 1: mental health and whether I don't know if it's correlation

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Speaker 1: or causation, but definitely since I started walking rock bottom

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Speaker 1: ten thousand steps a day, you know, a year ago.

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Speaker 1: Now it's over a year ago, like that's there's definitely

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Speaker 1: since that time, my mental health is consistently better. And

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Speaker 1: by mental health I just mean I'm just consistently happier now.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if that's caused that or it's just

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Speaker 1: correlated in some way, because there have been some other

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Speaker 1: benefits too, But I also know that not just emotionally

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Speaker 1: but cognitively, my brain seems to work better. But I

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Speaker 1: know that what will be optimal for me won't be

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Speaker 1: optimal for TIF or you necessarily. And so this still

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Speaker 1: comes down to this self awareness piece around trying to

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Speaker 1: figure out not what works for everyone, but what works

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Speaker 1: for me. And there are certain broad principles I guess

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Speaker 1: where in general terms, a good diet doesn't hurt, and

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Speaker 1: sleep doesn't hurt, and movement doesn't hurt. But then when

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Speaker 1: we get into the micro in the middle of the macro,

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Speaker 1: trying to figure out how your brain and your emotional

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Speaker 1: system and your body best responds. So yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: there's that little bit of kind of self awareness and

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Speaker 1: even self experimenting in there. I think I'll shut up

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Speaker 1: after this. I think, like, when I'm feeling a bit shitty,

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Speaker 1: I think, what's the best investment of my emotions now, Like,

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Speaker 1: in other words, what should right now? What should have

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Speaker 1: my emotional energy and my attention or what could have it?

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Speaker 1: You know? And it might be that I go and write,

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Speaker 1: I go, I'm going to create a new whiteboard for Instagram,

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Speaker 1: and then I just step out of my emotional state

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Speaker 1: in or I try to step into my creative space

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Speaker 1: because when I'm creating, I'm having fun. And even though

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Speaker 1: I'm a scientist and a researcher, I am probably naturally

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Speaker 1: more of a creative than a scientist. I can do science,

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Speaker 1: and science is cool, but I love the freedom of creativity,

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Speaker 1: not the confinement of science. Yes, right, and I can

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Speaker 1: straddle both, as can anyone who wants to. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I think it's like some of the things that

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Speaker 1: for me are like very emotionally psychologically liberating, like riding

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Speaker 1: a motorbike, which for other people would instill fucking terror

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Speaker 1: and anxiety. That's isn't it funny? The exact same stimulus

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Speaker 1: being on a motorbike can literally change the biochemistry of

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Speaker 1: your body really positively or negatively depend on your experience

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Speaker 1: or your interpretation of that thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so true. And just one of the things

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Speaker 2: that you said, I think is really I mean, so

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Speaker 2: much is really interesting, But just that awareness that when

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Speaker 2: you are not feeling good, that you can take a

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Speaker 2: moment and kind of step outside of what your experience

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Speaker 2: is in that moment and then have that space to think,

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Speaker 2: how could I best move forward? What could I do

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Speaker 2: considering how I'm feeling and where I'm at. And I

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Speaker 2: think that that is not easy for everyone that because

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Speaker 2: you know how you can just get so swept away

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Speaker 2: with how you feel and so overcome and overwhelmed that

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Speaker 2: that is like, yeah, I just wanted to note that

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Speaker 2: just the ability to kind of do that, and sometimes

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Speaker 2: that means just slowing down, because sometimes when we're not

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Speaker 2: feeling good, we just keep on keeping on, but when

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Speaker 2: there's just a moment to go, this is what I'm experiencing,

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Speaker 2: what would help? And it's not like you say, it's

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Speaker 2: not about necessarily feeling better. But this idea that I

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Speaker 2: posted something on LinkedIn a couple of weeks ago about

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Speaker 2: I might not feel like doing something, but it doesn't

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Speaker 2: mean I shouldn't do it. And it's something I'm teaching

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Speaker 2: the kids as well at seventeen and fifteen, that you know,

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Speaker 2: like you get asked to do an extra shift, you

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Speaker 2: might not feel like doing it, but should that be

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Speaker 2: the thing that dictates your answer to the question from

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Speaker 2: your boss? And sometimes yes and sometimes no, depending of course,

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Speaker 2: there's no flat rule. But I think this idea that

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Speaker 2: we can take our difficult emotions and still do important things.

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Speaker 2: Is so crucial because you know how we were saying earlier,

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Speaker 2: and you were saying that you can wait till you

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Speaker 2: get all your ducks in a row. But if any

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Speaker 2: of us wait till that happens, we'll be waiting the

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Speaker 2: rest of our lives, and then there'll be a lot

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Speaker 2: of regret that all the things we didn't do because

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Speaker 2: we kind of waited too long for things to be okay.

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Speaker 1: Hate, Yeah, I think we repeatedly see like a similar

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Speaker 1: thing play out, and that is when you know, it's

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Speaker 1: like you said, the thing that we need to do

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Speaker 1: is or the thing that we should do is not

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Speaker 1: always the thing we want to do.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: So the dichotomy is that virtually everyone who listens to

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Speaker 1: this show wants to learn and grow and evolve and

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Speaker 1: improve and be a better version of themselves whatever that means. Right,

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Speaker 1: we want to be better. We want to know better health,

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Speaker 1: the better mindset, more calm. That is, we want to

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Speaker 1: change positively in some way. That's probably a pretty universal

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Speaker 1: state of mind for our listeners, or hope for our listeners.

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Speaker 1: At the same time, most of us don't like discomfort. Also,

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Speaker 1: change is uncomfortable, So the dichotomy is we want to

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Speaker 1: be comfortable, but also we want to change. And so

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Speaker 1: the challenge is what is the uncomfortable thing that I

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Speaker 1: don't really want to do but my goal requires me

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Speaker 1: to do? Like what is the what is my standard?

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Speaker 1: What are my values? What is my potential? What do

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Speaker 1: I want my life to look like in one year?

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Speaker 1: My relationships, business, career, mental state, physiology? Right, my one

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Speaker 1: year version of me and my life, and what's required

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Speaker 1: of me today day one of that year. If we're

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Speaker 1: working from as we're recording October twenty one, twenty twenty

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Speaker 1: five to October twenty one, twenty twenty six, So this

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Speaker 1: is my day one. What are the things that I

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Speaker 1: can do on day one to make day three hundred

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Speaker 1: and sixty five where I want to be Like that

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Speaker 1: projection or that theory in my head, how do I

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Speaker 1: turn that into reality? And a lot of that is

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Speaker 1: really going to be well, Craig, you need to do

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Speaker 1: probably quite a few things that you don't really want

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Speaker 1: to do or enjoy, and that might not be comfortable,

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Speaker 1: and there might be a fair bit of unknown and

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Speaker 1: uncertain and unfamiliar. So all the best, right, and this

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Speaker 1: is the well I mean, this is the never ending

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Speaker 1: kind of conundrum really with self help, personal development, behavioral

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Speaker 1: psychology is that growth is just fucking hard and uncomfortable,

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Speaker 1: and many people are perpetually looking for growth without the discomfort. Well,

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Speaker 1: good luck. It's like getting strong without doing strength training.

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Speaker 1: Fucking good luck, Brian.

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Speaker 2: That's it. That's so true. And muscle is one of

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Speaker 2: those things you can't pay for it, you can't outsource it,

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Speaker 2: You got to work hard for it. Yeah, it's and

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Speaker 2: I think it's so it's very easy to put it off.

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Speaker 2: I'm a personal Like my example this week was I

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Speaker 2: really I've kind of overhauled my nutrition and feeling so

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Speaker 2: much better for it, and I more or less kind

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Speaker 2: of wound back a lot of the sugar I used

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Speaker 2: to have, Like I just used to be just craving

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Speaker 2: sugar a lot. Anyway, we had friends over on Saturday night.

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Speaker 2: Friday night. Friday night, we just Peter brought home some

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Speaker 2: of my favorite ice cream, so we shared a little

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Speaker 2: thing of ice cream, and then I'm like, oh, that's

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Speaker 2: kind of it. I've sort of splurged. Saturday night, friends

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Speaker 2: came over, and Saturday night ended up being a bit

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Speaker 2: of a splurge, and then we didn't eat the apple

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Speaker 2: pies that I'd purchased for Saturday nights desert. So Sunday night,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I'll just have an apple pie. And

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Speaker 2: then I realized it's that easy. It's that easy just

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Speaker 2: to say tomorrow. And now it's not like I'm starting

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Speaker 2: a diet or anything, but I just to be true

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Speaker 2: to myself and what I know works for me and

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Speaker 2: my body and my mental health. I don't want to

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Speaker 2: eat as much sugar, but it was just so easy

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Speaker 2: to just go yes to the next temptation. And I

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Speaker 2: think with that three hundred and sixty five days, like

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Speaker 2: if literally you're just saying twenty first to the twenty

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Speaker 2: first in one year's time, we do need to We

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Speaker 2: can't keep putting things off. Yet it's very easy to

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Speaker 2: just say I'll do it next week or tomorrow. But

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Speaker 2: the beauty of starting is that sooner you start, the

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Speaker 2: easier it gets. But you only learn that through experience.

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Speaker 2: You have to begin, and you're the only one who

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Speaker 2: can do it one.

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Speaker 1: Hundred percent like once you My analogy is if you've

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Speaker 1: ever tried to push a car in a driveway or

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Speaker 1: a car park, when it's you know, it's not in gear,

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Speaker 1: obviously it's in neutral, but it's stopped. It's really fucking

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Speaker 1: hard to get it moving. But once the car is moving,

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Speaker 1: like once it's moving at three or four or five

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Speaker 1: kilometers an hour, then it takes so much less effort

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Speaker 1: to keep the same weight moving because now you've got momentum.

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Speaker 1: And it's that initial kind of resistance, mental, emotional, physical,

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Speaker 1: whatever resistance, that kind of I think it keeps people trapped.

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Speaker 1: I think that that lack of willingness to just look

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Speaker 1: this is going to suck. But I'm okay with it,

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Speaker 1: you know. And for me as someone who has many

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Speaker 1: of these conversations with a lot of people, and you know,

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Speaker 1: I find it what's the word I was gonna say, sad? Sad,

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Speaker 1: it's not the right I don't know what the right

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Speaker 1: word is. Not even frustrating, But like I see it

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Speaker 1: with people who I know have got at least as

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Speaker 1: much talent or more than me, at least as much intelligence,

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Speaker 1: intellect resources as me, if not more, but constantly just

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Speaker 1: not fucking doing what they could do for a range

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Speaker 1: of reasons that are not really real but rather psychological constructs,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's like, and it's not about self loathing.

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Speaker 1: It's about self awareness, because everyone's going to wake up

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Speaker 1: at some stage. If not everyone, most people are going

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Speaker 1: to wake up at some stage and go, fuck, this

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Speaker 1: wasn't my plan. You know how many people have a

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Speaker 1: health scare and then go, oh shit, I better do something. Well, okay, good,

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Speaker 1: but maybe you could have done that five years ago

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Speaker 1: before we got to this point. Or and again, this

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Speaker 1: is about for me. This is about being proactive, not reactive,

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Speaker 1: going well, you've got one body, let's not fuck it. Ahah.

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Speaker 1: Let's not wait for the diabetes, Let's not wait for

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Speaker 1: the heart disease. Let's not wait for all of the

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Speaker 1: associated conditions that come with maybe not looking after yourself.

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Speaker 1: It's not about appearance. It's not about vanity. We don't

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Speaker 1: care about the numbers. It's not about what you look like.

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Speaker 1: You know. This is not a shallow thing. This is

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Speaker 1: about you living long and strong and well. You know, so,

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Speaker 1: what the fuck do you want to live long and

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Speaker 1: strong and well? I do cool? What are you doing

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Speaker 1: to make that a reality? Nothing? Okay? Right? And this

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Speaker 1: is the uncomfortable conversation. It's like, oh, you're harsh, No,

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Speaker 1: I'm fucking honest, but we'd rather call me harsh because then, oh,

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Speaker 1: he's just harsh. You don't want to call him honest

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Speaker 1: because if he's just being honest, then I need to

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Speaker 1: deal with it. So what I'm going to do. So

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Speaker 1: I'm going to call Craig harsh and blunt and brutal

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Speaker 1: because that makes me feel better because then I don't

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Speaker 1: need to do anything because Craig's the problem, not my

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Speaker 1: inability to fucking take action, you know. And it's like

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Speaker 1: what needs to happen for you to just fucking look

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Speaker 1: after yourself? You know. For me, that's that's what I

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Speaker 1: care about people, And I care about them actually not

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Speaker 1: wasting the next ten years of their life bullshitting themselves

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Speaker 1: and not not using what they've got to work with.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I know it comes from a place

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Speaker 2: of love. And you know, well, there are people who

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Speaker 2: you know, have have you know, barriers in their life

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Speaker 2: that you know, the fundamentals like supporting their you know,

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Speaker 2: psychological safety and putting food on the table and all

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Speaker 2: those sorts of things that you know, those kinds of stresses.

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Speaker 2: But for the for the vast majority of people, there's

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Speaker 2: I think if we're all honest with ourselves. There are

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Speaker 2: things that we could do that would make a really

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Speaker 2: significant difference to our mental health, our well being, our longevity.

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Speaker 2: And I'll often say, if I'm speaking to a group,

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Speaker 2: that put your hand up, if you can think of

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Speaker 2: one thing that would make a really meaningful difference to

430
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:20,480
Speaker 2: your well being right now, But you're not doing it,

431
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:23,800
Speaker 2: and everyone's hands goes up, and those that don't put

432
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 2: their head up are probably not being honest with themselves.

433
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 2: But it you know, I think about people I know

434
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,040
Speaker 2: who've had heart attacks, for example, like you know, I'm

435
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:38,880
Speaker 2: in my fifties now you're in your sixties. Sixties, yes, yes, yes, yes,

436
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 2: and so you know now kind of demographic. You can

437
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 2: start to see some health some choices catching up with people.

438
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:50,640
Speaker 2: And often when the heart attack comes or the significant

439
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:56,960
Speaker 2: health event comes, then that's the impetus for significant change,

440
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:59,359
Speaker 2: because all of a sudden, the life's on the line.

441
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 2: Some do, some don't, Some fall back into old habits.

442
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 2: But I sort of think, well, if you can do it,

443
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 2: then you can do it now. But to have the

444
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,479
Speaker 2: control and not be forced out of action for weeks

445
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:17,720
Speaker 2: with heart surgery or being laid up in hospital. You know,

446
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 2: like I think the idea of thinking about if something

447
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,480
Speaker 2: terrible happened, if I got a diagnosis, what would I

448
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 2: do Differently, we don't have to wait for that.

449
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:31,120
Speaker 1: Course like heart disease and diabetes don't give a fuck

450
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 1: about your emotional state. It's like, ah, I'm not ready

451
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 1: for diabetes. Will you fucking got it? Well, had a

452
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 1: heart attack. I'm not ready to deal with a heart attack.

453
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 1: I'll deal with it on Monday. No, it's today. Do

454
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? I mean, the bottom line is, yes,

455
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:49,120
Speaker 1: I'm all for protecting people and being aware and being

456
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 1: you know, empathetic and understanding. But also life doesn't give

457
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 1: a fuck about any of that. Like life is unfair,

458
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,720
Speaker 1: Life is messy. Bad things happen to good people. This

459
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 1: is why five year old kids get cancer. That five

460
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,400
Speaker 1: year old kid that gets diagnosed today, and there's probably

461
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:08,640
Speaker 1: a lot of them sadly that happens. That's horrible, that's unfair,

462
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:12,359
Speaker 1: that's fucking I don't even get that. If there's he

463
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 1: and I'll have a conversation one day about that. I'm

464
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 1: not sure. But the truth is, the uncomfortable truth is

465
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 1: that happens. So you know, we need to go, Oh,

466
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 1: life is a bitch. You know, horrible shit happens. And

467
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 1: I have one life and I have one body, and

468
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,639
Speaker 1: every day from now is one less day that I

469
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 1: have to use what I've got and figure out what

470
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 1: the fuck I'm about my life is about. And yes,

471
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,520
Speaker 1: we need to be empathetic and aware. It's like I

472
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:45,239
Speaker 1: care about people who have got body image issues and

473
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 1: body dysmorphia and all of those things because I've had

474
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 1: all of that. But at the same time, I want

475
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 1: you to be physically healthy. I don't want you to

476
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 1: be physically healthy because I don't like the way you

477
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 1: look or I don't like I want you to be

478
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 1: physically healthy because that's going to help you have a

479
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 1: good and a long life. You know, let's not wait

480
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 1: another five years until you get over this issue or

481
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 1: that issue before we stop eating KFC every fucking day,

482
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 1: so you could stop that today. You don't need psychological

483
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 1: safety to not eat fucking KFC. We can do both.

484
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,359
Speaker 1: We can try to page your mental health and we

485
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:30,359
Speaker 1: can be loving and compassionate. Also, we can make radical changes.

486
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,879
Speaker 1: It doesn't need to be one or the other. But

487
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 1: we live in this paradigm where everyone's like, Oh, we

488
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:39,159
Speaker 1: need to do this and then we'll do that. You know,

489
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 1: think about all the people in the world right now

490
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:45,440
Speaker 1: who live in abject poverty and I mean real poverty,

491
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,520
Speaker 1: and people who live in war zones, and people who

492
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 1: live under constant threat of death and bombing and all

493
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 1: of that. They're just doing what they have to do. Like,

494
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 1: they don't get up each day and go wars not fair.

495
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,679
Speaker 1: They go fuck oar's here, what do I have to

496
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 1: do today to survive? Now, I know that's melodramatic, but

497
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:08,160
Speaker 1: it's also the real fucking existence for millions of people

498
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:11,360
Speaker 1: in the world who don't have the luxury that we

499
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:15,440
Speaker 1: have to just wait forever to take action. Yeah, if

500
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,280
Speaker 1: you're in the middle of the war, you dealing with

501
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:22,200
Speaker 1: the war every fucking morning. Yes, you don't have that.

502
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,239
Speaker 1: You can't go fuck the war. I'm not doing it.

503
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,639
Speaker 1: I'm going to start the war on Monday. And I

504
00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 1: just think that there's so much of this where mental

505
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 1: toughness and resilience can coexist with compassion and self care.

506
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 1: It can. They don't need to be separate things.

507
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:44,000
Speaker 2: And with AI, with chat GPT, it's I mean, it's

508
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 2: easy enough just to do it in our heads. But

509
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 2: you can use a tool if you want to to

510
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 2: start making small incremental changes. I think if people make

511
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 2: significant changes. It's really hard for anybody to turn a ship.

512
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,480
Speaker 2: I mean we can't. You can't turn a ship around

513
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 2: on a dime. It takes time. And so even if

514
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 2: it's just a swapout, it's just like, you know, instead

515
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 2: of whatever you might normally have with you know, a

516
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 2: biscuit with your tea and coffee, just have an extra

517
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,360
Speaker 2: piece of fruit in the day, or just start the

518
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:17,000
Speaker 2: day with a glass of water. And I always say,

519
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 2: if the first step feels unattainable, just break it down

520
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 2: a little bit further. It's like you say, just getting

521
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 2: that momentum, getting that momentum going. And we're certainly not

522
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 2: at a loss for information and of what to do,

523
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 2: but yeah, it's just putting it off until a significant

524
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 2: life event or until it's too late, you know, until

525
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 2: it's too late, when all of a sudden you haven't

526
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 2: done any strength training, Like as a midlife woman, I

527
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:46,840
Speaker 2: like to think midlife, I like to think I'd be

528
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:49,480
Speaker 2: like tw one hundred and two spounds better than middle age,

529
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 2: don't you reckon?

530
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 1: Definitely definitely let's go mid life mid life you bloody

531
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 1: mid life woman. You.

532
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 2: But just like strength training, if you're not strength training

533
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:05,520
Speaker 2: you're a midlife woman, you might end up paying for

534
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:08,560
Speaker 2: it with your bone density, with your metabolism, with your mood,

535
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 2: with your sleep. Like just that loss of muscle is

536
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 2: so significant and so impactful. And my kids the other day,

537
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:22,960
Speaker 2: we saw a woman with osteoporosis, like a lady who

538
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 2: was really bent over, and my daughter just sort of

539
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 2: notice and sort of said, I wonder what that lady's

540
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 2: you know, like, you know, I wonder what's going on

541
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:37,640
Speaker 2: there kind of thing. And I explained to her why

542
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 2: that happens. And you know, we talk about kelcium and

543
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 2: she's at the gym strength training. She's fifteen. But I

544
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 2: just think, you know, getting out of this pattern of

545
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 2: especially in tiff Gosh, you know, you're all over it.

546
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,800
Speaker 2: Like so many women my age will just go for

547
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 2: their walk and they run because it's about how do

548
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:59,320
Speaker 2: I fit in my clothes? And I had the pleasure

549
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 2: of interviewing do to Stacy Simms, and she said they

550
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 2: end up skinny, fat, skinny in a size whatever. They

551
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:10,200
Speaker 2: feel comfortable in their clothes. But the fat distribution around organs,

552
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:13,640
Speaker 2: the subcutaneous fat, the just all the health implications that

553
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:17,040
Speaker 2: comes with that. But on the outside, you look at

554
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 2: the person and they've got you know, I'm using air

555
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 2: quotes a good figure. So yeah, it's just I don't know.

556
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 2: I'm like you heart so I just get so passionate

557
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 2: about it because I just know that starting is so hard.

558
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 2: But once you get going, you fall into a groove,

559
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,600
Speaker 2: it just gets easier.

560
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 1: I'm going to throw out a question, my question, is

561
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 1: it so hard or is that just our story? It's

562
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 1: like somebody has to do something today, they have no option.

563
00:31:56,280 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 1: They start because there's no option. The problem is we go,

564
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 1: I have an option. I don't have to start today.

565
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 1: I think practically, you're right, it is hard, and experientially

566
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:14,520
Speaker 1: it's hard. But when you think about, okay, what makes

567
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 1: it hard? Well, you know for me to go and

568
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 1: let's say i'm you know that whatever, somebody who typically

569
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,800
Speaker 1: walks two thousand steps a day, and they decide, well,

570
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 1: I'm going to from today, I'm going to do four,

571
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 1: I'm going to double it, and you might conceptually go, wow,

572
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 1: walking twice as far as I normally do from now

573
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 1: on that's hard. And then you go, no, cancer is hard. Yeah,

574
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 1: oh oh, cancers hard, walk in two thousand steps if

575
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 1: you can walk, of course, not hard. Diabetes, you know

576
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 1: hard like family tragedy hard. Ah, because we tell ourselves

577
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 1: a story and you go, oh, two thousand steps, that's

578
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,720
Speaker 1: so hard. And then I go, oh, let me take

579
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:56,600
Speaker 1: you to Cabrini Hospital in malven Let me introduce you

580
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:59,880
Speaker 1: to John who's got a spinal cord injury, brain injury,

581
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 1: all these other things, and he just had a skin

582
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 1: a skin graphic. Da da da da, And then tell

583
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:07,959
Speaker 1: me about how hard your two thousand steps are. Now,

584
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,520
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to demean anyone, right, What I'm trying

585
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:14,360
Speaker 1: to do is go, oh, yeah, that's right. It depends

586
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,920
Speaker 1: which fucking lens I look through. If I look through that,

587
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 1: this is hard lens, it's hard.

588
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

589
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,440
Speaker 1: If I go what about this? What about this? For

590
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:27,360
Speaker 1: a reframe? How exciting is it that I get to

591
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:30,640
Speaker 1: walk two thousand How amazing is it that I can

592
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 1: walk two thousand steps? More, isn't it amazing that I

593
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 1: have a body that can do that? How grateful am I?

594
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 1: Now it becomes an experience of gratitude and an experience

595
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 1: of something positive rather than ah thing, I have to

596
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 1: do a hard thing, right, you know, it's like you

597
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 1: know this better than me. If you call something hard

598
00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 1: and you believe it's hard, that becomes your experience because

599
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: you create your if you think something's you know, down

600
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 1: to a really obvious example, if I say fuck and

601
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:11,280
Speaker 1: someone thinks the word fuck is offensive, well, they literally

602
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:14,440
Speaker 1: just got offended. I'm not saying they should or shouldn't.

603
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:17,960
Speaker 1: I'm talking it's not even about swearing. It's about psychology.

604
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 1: It's about stimulus and response. You know. And then even

605
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 1: though I just said fuck twice, most of our listeners

606
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:29,279
Speaker 1: are not offended. Then you go, oh, what is that about. Well,

607
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 1: it's not about the stimulus, it's about the response. Well

608
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:35,840
Speaker 1: who's that up to? It's up to the individual, because

609
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 1: the individual gets to decide what things mean in their

610
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:43,479
Speaker 1: own life. Right. If your story is this is hard,

611
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:45,239
Speaker 1: this is hard, well guess what, you're having a whole

612
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 1: lot of hard in your life. If you're like, wow,

613
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:51,000
Speaker 1: I can walk, I can walk. What a gift? How

614
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 1: greatful am I? How fucking amazing? Because you know what,

615
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,360
Speaker 1: a lot of people can't walk a lot of people

616
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,400
Speaker 1: can't get out of a chair. A lot of people

617
00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 1: don't live in a beautiful city. Like all of a sudden,

618
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:04,919
Speaker 1: we're reframing, and we're not pretending that it's not hard

619
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 1: at times. We're not trying to discount anyone's real feelings

620
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 1: or emotions, but we're also saying, is there a way

621
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 1: that I can reframe things so that rather than being

622
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:20,800
Speaker 1: managed by my mind, I can perhaps manage my mind.

623
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:25,919
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, one of the things that I've talked about before.

624
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 2: I'm not sure if we've talked about it, but my

625
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 2: training and acceptance and commitment therapy is coming to mind now,

626
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:40,879
Speaker 2: where we talk about values aligned goals, so setting something

627
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 2: that's important, you know, like striving for something that might

628
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 2: be really important to us, and knowing that despite the

629
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:50,000
Speaker 2: circumstances that we're in, we can take steps towards that

630
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 2: each and every day. Like you might think being a

631
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 2: good parent means having a table tennis table in a

632
00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:59,400
Speaker 2: suming pool for your kids and taking them on a

633
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,279
Speaker 2: couple of on holidays a year, Well, that might be

634
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 2: out of reach, but if your value is being a

635
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 2: good parent, you can be a good parent each and

636
00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:10,880
Speaker 2: every day by giving your kids time and attention and

637
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 2: listening and playing games and doing other things. And so

638
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 2: I think sometimes we think about the big stuff and

639
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 2: forget that the day to day kind of efforts that

640
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 2: we make can really align with what actually matters. But

641
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:31,120
Speaker 2: also this idea that we're in a world of instant

642
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:35,400
Speaker 2: gratification and everything at our fingertips, and you know, I

643
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 2: find myself sometimes kind of twiddling my thumbs with my

644
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,440
Speaker 2: maintenet's a little bit slow, and then I have to

645
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:43,759
Speaker 2: think about dial up and how lucky we are to

646
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:46,920
Speaker 2: have access to what we've got. But I think when

647
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:50,560
Speaker 2: you are making change, like for example, cutting back on

648
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 2: fast food or starting to walk those extra couple of

649
00:36:53,120 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 2: thousand steps a day, the immediate benefit isn't evident. You

650
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:03,840
Speaker 2: might feel a little bit better, sleep better. There's a

651
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 2: few little things that you can be curious about notice changes,

652
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:10,920
Speaker 2: but it's again it's looking at the long term cumulative

653
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 2: effect of those And for anyone who really needs that

654
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 2: little dopamine kind of tick the box I'm kind of

655
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 2: getting somewhere. Just a brilliant thing to do is just

656
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 2: to mark an X in a calendar each day that

657
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 2: you do the thing you said you do, and all

658
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 2: of a sudden, you've got three or four in a row,

659
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 2: and you're building a streak. But I do think that

660
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:36,880
Speaker 2: one of the things that we're not used to is

661
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:40,719
Speaker 2: resisting urges and temptations and having the skills to be

662
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:43,840
Speaker 2: able to notice what's happening in our head and in

663
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 2: our body when we have an urge to do something

664
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 2: or to say no to doing something we said we do,

665
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:53,240
Speaker 2: and how to move through that moment. Like you said earlier,

666
00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:56,879
Speaker 2: about that moment when you're able to recognize not feeling good.

667
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:01,000
Speaker 2: Things aren't great, But in this moment, what can I

668
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:03,600
Speaker 2: do with what I've got? You And you'll go and

669
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:06,280
Speaker 2: you you know, create a whiteboard or do something creative perhaps,

670
00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:09,920
Speaker 2: But in that moment that you've said to yourself, well,

671
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:12,360
Speaker 2: I am going to do my walk every day, but

672
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 2: you've had a big day. You sit on the couch,

673
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 2: you get the remote. You know, obviously, all of a

674
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 2: sudden you're into YouTube or Netflix or whatever, and you're like,

675
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:24,439
Speaker 2: I don't want to, I don't feel like it. It's

676
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:29,879
Speaker 2: having the psychological skills in that moment to first of all,

677
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 2: notice that your actions are being influenced by what you're thinking,

678
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:39,040
Speaker 2: and then have the skills to be able to reframe

679
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 2: it so that you can get your bum off the

680
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,839
Speaker 2: couch and get out for your walk and then come

681
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,480
Speaker 2: back and sit and watch your Netflix or whatever you

682
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,480
Speaker 2: want to do. And I think that that is you know,

683
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 2: we're obviously, you know, three quarts of the way into

684
00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:54,319
Speaker 2: our chat today, but I think that little moment, that

685
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 2: little you know, that little that little space, that little gap,

686
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 2: like you know, mind the gap in London. I just

687
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:04,800
Speaker 2: recently in my head, I'm like, we've got to find

688
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:10,080
Speaker 2: the gap, Like just it's just being a bit more mindful.

689
00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 2: And I think for all of us, if we can

690
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:16,080
Speaker 2: practice a bit more mindfulness and being a bit more

691
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,919
Speaker 2: putting our head where our hands are, then we can

692
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 2: capture that moment and do something different with it. But

693
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,319
Speaker 2: you know, if you're in a habit, a pattern of

694
00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 2: doing something, awareness of that pattern, and what are you

695
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,680
Speaker 2: going to do when your mind says I don't want

696
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 2: to how are you going to approach that? I think

697
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:36,440
Speaker 2: they're really really powerful skills.

698
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:41,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you raise a lot of good points there.

699
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 1: One I want to circle back to, which is essentially

700
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 1: delaying gratification. You know, that's that's a biggie, you know,

701
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:54,799
Speaker 1: because we are. We are the instant gratification generation. It's like,

702
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:57,920
Speaker 1: we're the instant gratification culture. If you want to know,

703
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:00,879
Speaker 1: if you want to sell something, if you can make

704
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 1: it a form of instant gratification where somebody gets a

705
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:08,239
Speaker 1: great reward without the work, then you'll be able to

706
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:10,520
Speaker 1: sell it, especially if it's got anything to do with

707
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 1: appearance or weight or weight loss or muscle gain or yeah,

708
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 1: and that's it is that whole kind of for me,

709
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 1: for me personally. This is not my recommendation for the world,

710
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:27,720
Speaker 1: but for me personally managing me, and I'm a fucking

711
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 1: handful because my mind is extremely busy trying to and

712
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:39,560
Speaker 1: also the x only kid who needed attention or the

713
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:42,319
Speaker 1: only child I should say who needed attention, and blah

714
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, all those things like trying to separate

715
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:49,399
Speaker 1: between you know, what I'm doing because it's the thing

716
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:53,560
Speaker 1: that I think I really should be doing, and I'm

717
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:57,320
Speaker 1: doing it when no one's looking, when there's no accolade,

718
00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:00,960
Speaker 1: there's no approval, there's no instant gratification, no quick fix.

719
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:05,239
Speaker 1: It doesn't even fucking feel good. But I'm doing it

720
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:09,040
Speaker 1: because I know that I know it's the right thing

721
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 1: for me. Not necessarily it's the global right thing, but

722
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:12,520
Speaker 1: it's the right thing for me.

723
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:13,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

724
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 1: And you know, we were chatting about my research my

725
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:19,120
Speaker 1: PhD before we came on here, and yeah, I mean

726
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:21,759
Speaker 1: there have been one thousand times probably more where I've

727
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:23,759
Speaker 1: thought why am I doing this? Like this is I

728
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:25,799
Speaker 1: don't need this? Why am I doing this? I'm lucky?

729
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:28,399
Speaker 1: You know, there are so many as you go, well,

730
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:31,279
Speaker 1: you chose that, and you can stop at any time.

731
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:34,320
Speaker 1: But if you stop, then take ownership and don't pretend

732
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:37,279
Speaker 1: you're not the problem, because if you stop, you're the

733
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 1: fucking problem. And if you get through then that's also

734
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:44,279
Speaker 1: on you. Well done. But it's like this. There's a

735
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 1: guy called Jocko Willing who kind of polarizes people. He's

736
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:51,239
Speaker 1: an ex marine and he's written a book called Extreme Ownership,

737
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 1: and you know, this is one of the ideas. It's like, well,

738
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:56,960
Speaker 1: if you create good outcomes, well done. If you create

739
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,600
Speaker 1: bad outcomes, own them. You know, you don't have to

740
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 1: hate you, you don't have to I was thinking before,

741
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,320
Speaker 1: and I'll shut up after this, but I was thinking

742
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 1: before how much information just gets pumped out and people

743
00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:13,920
Speaker 1: basically on the Internet and you know, reels and all

744
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:16,879
Speaker 1: the various platforms and all the various mediums that get

745
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:20,799
Speaker 1: used on those platforms where everyone's shouting a message and

746
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 1: everyone thinks whatever it is they're saying that they're right.

747
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 1: And I just think, how often do people think with

748
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 1: whatever it is that they think or believe or that

749
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:35,320
Speaker 1: they preach. I wonder if they think, oh, am I wrong?

750
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:38,759
Speaker 1: Like could I be wrong? I think about that. I

751
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:42,000
Speaker 1: think about that a lot, and I think I've been

752
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:45,080
Speaker 1: wrong a lot, you know, So, which is why when

753
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,560
Speaker 1: I say something, I don't go this is what people

754
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:50,840
Speaker 1: should do. I go, this is what worked for me. Yeah,

755
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 1: this is what I think. This is my story, this

756
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 1: is my experience, rather than putting out some global mandate

757
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:03,759
Speaker 1: everyone who deals with anxiety should do this. No, no,

758
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:06,400
Speaker 1: I don't think so. But when I'm anxious and I

759
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:08,920
Speaker 1: do this, this helps me. It may or may not

760
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 1: help you. You know, for me, success E calls ABC,

761
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 1: but for you success might be d E F. But

762
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 1: I just think that that being grounded, where you're okay

763
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 1: to get shit wrong, you're okay to be scared, you're

764
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:28,919
Speaker 1: okay to be embarrassed, and you're just going to keep

765
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:31,440
Speaker 1: grinding and when you fuck up, you'll go I fucked up.

766
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:33,480
Speaker 1: And when you did great, you go, hey, I did great.

767
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,920
Speaker 1: And there's no ego in either, there's no self hate

768
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:37,359
Speaker 1: in either.

769
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:42,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I agree. I think I think that just

770
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:47,400
Speaker 2: some humility and just and inherent in that word is

771
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:49,560
Speaker 2: just being human. None of us get it right all

772
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:54,560
Speaker 2: the time. Nobody does. But like you say, you know,

773
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 2: and I think, I think what part of the problem

774
00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:01,319
Speaker 2: is that there's so there's so much in There's so

775
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 2: much that people can and a lot of it's conflicting,

776
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 2: you know, and it depends on your belief systems and

777
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:11,719
Speaker 2: depends on your you know, kind of like what kind

778
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:13,239
Speaker 2: of floats your boat as to who you're going to

779
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:17,040
Speaker 2: listen to. But sometimes it can it can feel like

780
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 2: it's overwhelming and I don't know, I don't know where

781
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 2: to start, I don't know who to believe. It's it's

782
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:27,320
Speaker 2: all a bit much. One thing that I found really

783
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 2: helpful for me was that just a little in terms

784
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 2: of making change is using the word I don't instead

785
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:43,239
Speaker 2: of I can't. And when I because I used to

786
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:45,480
Speaker 2: love Bailey's I know you're not a drinker, and I'm

787
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:48,640
Speaker 2: no longer a drinker. I've been about two years alcohol free.

788
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:52,839
Speaker 2: But when I was a drinker, my kind of kryptonite

789
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:58,359
Speaker 2: was Bailey's. And I sort of said to myself, I'm

790
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:00,919
Speaker 2: contradicting myself because for a period time it did work.

791
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:04,200
Speaker 2: But I was just like, instead of saying I don't

792
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:06,399
Speaker 2: want to drink Baileyes, because once I start it's hard

793
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 2: to kind of, you know, stop, like a jocotma, I

794
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:12,560
Speaker 2: would say to myself, I don't, I actually don't drink Bailey's.

795
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:15,040
Speaker 2: That was kind of like the reframe that I used

796
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 2: for myself, and for months that actually really helped me

797
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:24,879
Speaker 2: to make really good decisions, until it didn't. But sometimes

798
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:28,400
Speaker 2: it's worth trying these things on and seeing like if

799
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 2: you consider, say I don't eat after seven o'clock, or

800
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:34,440
Speaker 2: I don't have dessert every night, or I instead of

801
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:37,160
Speaker 2: like I'm choosing not to, it's just reframing kind of

802
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:41,400
Speaker 2: almost your identity around it. And ultimately it worked for

803
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:46,440
Speaker 2: a while, so it's worth trying. But also that didn't

804
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:49,200
Speaker 2: last forever for me, and ultimately I just decided I'm

805
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:52,839
Speaker 2: just actually going to just I just don't drink now.

806
00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:53,800
Speaker 2: And actually that's stuck.

807
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:59,919
Speaker 1: It takes because I mean, your subconscious programming isn't really

808
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 1: tuned into your conscious decision making, or it's like yeah,

809
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:06,960
Speaker 1: in your conscious mind, you're like, oh, I do this,

810
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,560
Speaker 1: and I don't do that. In your subconscious mind's like no,

811
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:12,920
Speaker 1: you don't. You fucking drink. You're just diluting yourself and

812
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 1: dreaming and again, yeah, this is just a story you're

813
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:20,160
Speaker 1: telling yourself. And that's why you know, over time we're

814
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:23,440
Speaker 1: trying to I mean, it starts with a conscious decision

815
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:27,080
Speaker 1: and you know, the prefrontal cortex and you know, being

816
00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:29,879
Speaker 1: strategic and all of those things, but ultimately we need

817
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 1: to hardwire that shit into our subconscious so that it

818
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 1: becomes our new normal. So once it becomes hardwired, once

819
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:41,640
Speaker 1: it's basically an expression of who we are. But this

820
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:44,440
Speaker 1: is just me. I don't need to get motivated to

821
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:46,720
Speaker 1: go to the gym. I don't need discipline, self control,

822
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 1: or willpower. I don't need any of that because it's

823
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:53,759
Speaker 1: just in my DNA. I don't need to try. I

824
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:57,760
Speaker 1: don't need nobody needs to compliment me for being fucking

825
00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:01,200
Speaker 1: disciplined or anything, because I'm actually because there are other

826
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:04,040
Speaker 1: things that I probably should do that I avoid because

827
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:07,279
Speaker 1: I'm not disciplined or no, not that, but because that's

828
00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 1: not part of my normal operating system.

829
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:09,440
Speaker 2: Right.

830
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:13,439
Speaker 1: So it's that, you know, just trying to figure out

831
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 1: over time, what is the thing that is a needs

832
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:21,439
Speaker 1: to become just hardwired into who I am and how

833
00:47:21,480 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 1: I am, not a thing that I do because I'm

834
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:28,520
Speaker 1: in the zone or I'm disciplined, or I'm doing a

835
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:32,080
Speaker 1: program or i'm you know, And I mean, that's not

836
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:35,759
Speaker 1: a three month process. That's sometimes that's a three year process,

837
00:47:36,239 --> 00:47:40,600
Speaker 1: especially when you've been doing something for thirty years a

838
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 1: certain way and now you can't undo that or you

839
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:46,879
Speaker 1: can't write new code by Wednesday, you know. So it's

840
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:51,480
Speaker 1: a journey. It's a psychological, emotional, behavioral, and physiological journey.

841
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:55,719
Speaker 1: And when you tell people, I get asked often in

842
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:58,120
Speaker 1: talks how long does it take to break a habit?

843
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:01,360
Speaker 1: And I go, well, there's no answer to that, and

844
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:03,799
Speaker 1: it's it's I wouldn't say this to them, but it's

845
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,600
Speaker 1: a really ignorant question because it's assuming there's a number,

846
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:10,759
Speaker 1: which is completely unscientific. Are we talking about giving up

847
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 1: sugar or heroin? We you know, are we talking about

848
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 1: I've been having sugar in my coffee for six months,

849
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 1: or have been you know, addicted to drugs for twenty

850
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:24,200
Speaker 1: five years, and my life is you know, not in

851
00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:25,879
Speaker 1: a great way, and I'm not in a great way.

852
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:29,319
Speaker 1: And this is a very very very complicated issue. Well

853
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 1: it's different, and you know, and nothing but love and

854
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:37,480
Speaker 1: empathy for people with addictive challenges, right, but it's well this,

855
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:41,160
Speaker 1: you know, you're not gonna you're not going to fix

856
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 1: that quickly. You know that that doesn't get fixed quickly. Also,

857
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 1: and in other news, that's fine, that's fine, you don't

858
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:53,640
Speaker 1: have to you know, you can change your behavior straight away.

859
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 1: You can change your decision making straight away, you can

860
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:01,239
Speaker 1: change your lifestyle trade away, straight up way, but you

861
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:06,080
Speaker 1: can't change your default setting straight away. Can't rewire your

862
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:11,120
Speaker 1: brain straight away. No, this is a journey. So be

863
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 1: patient or you're going to be disappointed.

864
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 2: I share occasionally the idea of kind of rewiring. If

865
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:21,399
Speaker 2: you think of like a field of like neck high

866
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:25,319
Speaker 2: grass that's really thick and lush and you're walking through

867
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:29,080
Speaker 2: it for the first time. It is so hard to do.

868
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 2: There's a lot of resistance. It's difficult. But the more

869
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:34,440
Speaker 2: you walk that path. The more you lay down that grass,

870
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:38,359
Speaker 2: the easier that path can, you know, take you from

871
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:41,280
Speaker 2: A to B. And that's kind of what can happen

872
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:44,600
Speaker 2: in our brain, building those new connections and creating those

873
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 2: new patterns. But something you said before too is that

874
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 2: we do have a choice, and we can make a

875
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:56,759
Speaker 2: different choice. And I think when we remind ourselves that

876
00:49:56,800 --> 00:50:00,839
Speaker 2: we have a choice, that can often be quite liberating

877
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:04,239
Speaker 2: because we can choose to stay. You know, you can

878
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:09,719
Speaker 2: choose to have I'm just trying to think of an example.

879
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:13,760
Speaker 2: I can't think of an example at the moment. KFC

880
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:17,080
Speaker 2: keeps coming to mind, which I hate. But you know,

881
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:19,600
Speaker 2: like you, when you do have a choice, I think

882
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:23,680
Speaker 2: it shows you that you've you can do something different

883
00:50:23,840 --> 00:50:28,480
Speaker 2: and that ultimately we are the ones that are responsible.

884
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 2: But yeah, I don't know, I've lost my train of thought. Actually,

885
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:35,640
Speaker 2: perhaps I'm not sure where I'm going with that, but

886
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:38,600
Speaker 2: I just know in personally in my own life, like

887
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 2: when I was teaching and I needed to move out

888
00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:46,680
Speaker 2: of teaching, but I chose to stay because I wasn't

889
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:48,920
Speaker 2: sure where I was going. But I was finding it

890
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 2: really hard because my mental health hadn't been good. I

891
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:54,440
Speaker 2: just remember my psychologist saying to me, you've got a

892
00:50:54,520 --> 00:50:56,880
Speaker 2: choice here. You could go and get a job at Woolly's.

893
00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,759
Speaker 2: You could go and work in a cafe. You know

894
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:02,400
Speaker 2: that back back in the day, there was no shortage

895
00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 2: of work. So we said, if you're staying in teaching,

896
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:08,719
Speaker 2: you're choosing to am I right in that, And I'm like, yeah,

897
00:51:08,719 --> 00:51:12,400
Speaker 2: I absolutely am. So. I just felt so liberated by

898
00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:16,359
Speaker 2: just this recognition that I have autonomy here. I can

899
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:19,240
Speaker 2: make a choice. I don't have to do the things

900
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:22,719
Speaker 2: that I'm doing. It's what I'm choosing to do. And

901
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 2: I think when it comes to behavior change, I think

902
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:28,200
Speaker 2: just recognizing that we have a choice about what we do,

903
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 2: and that every day we don't do something that's a

904
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:30,719
Speaker 2: choice too.

905
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:35,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent, and that's yeah, let's not beat

906
00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:38,239
Speaker 1: ourselves up over that. Let's just acknowledge that. I mean,

907
00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:41,160
Speaker 1: there have been times in my life where there were

908
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:43,880
Speaker 1: things that I really needed to do and for a

909
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:46,719
Speaker 1: range of reasons that we don't have time to explore,

910
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:50,440
Speaker 1: I didn't do them, and you know, and then I

911
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 1: got to a point where I was ready and I

912
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:56,520
Speaker 1: did it for me. I try very hard to once

913
00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:58,399
Speaker 1: I go. I'm doing it. I need to make sure

914
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:00,920
Speaker 1: that I'm really really ready because I don't want to

915
00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:04,720
Speaker 1: do it and then stop. Yeah, you know, Hey, Tiffany

916
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:06,799
Speaker 1: and Cook's got to go. I've got to go, You've

917
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:10,360
Speaker 1: got to go. Well. Hello Anxiety is the name of

918
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:15,200
Speaker 1: Jody's podcast. Dr Jody's podcast where Else. Yes, let's pump

919
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:18,200
Speaker 1: that if we could tell people what you're holding. Because

920
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 1: I'm the world's worst friend, I haven't promoted that yet.

921
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:22,960
Speaker 1: I promise you I will do it on my socials

922
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:25,040
Speaker 1: this week. Tell people about what you're holding.

923
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:29,120
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, My Anxiety Toolkit a seventy card deck

924
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 2: that is designed to support parents and educators with supporting

925
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:36,399
Speaker 2: anxious kids and teens. So available on my website, Dr

926
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:37,800
Speaker 2: Jodiichison dot com.

927
00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:40,560
Speaker 1: Perfect And there's a few books on there that bloody

928
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:43,200
Speaker 1: sell like hotcakes too. So if you be very good,

929
00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:45,600
Speaker 1: she might sign one for you and write a little message.

930
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:47,359
Speaker 1: Would you do that? Would you write a little hello?

931
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:51,200
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, if somebody would like for me to dedicate

932
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 2: it to someone in particular, then yeah, I sign every

933
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:55,560
Speaker 2: book I sell. Yeah, definitely, very good.

934
00:52:55,600 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 1: Well, say goodbye a fair but Dr Joe thanks. Dr Tiff, Thanks, audience,

935
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:02,680
Speaker 1: thanks thanks guys Mite, thank you.