Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bounce Forward with me, tip Hal.
Speaker 2: I'd like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 2: of which I'm recording this podcast, the Werendar people of
Speaker 2: the cooler Nation.
Speaker 1: I pay my respects to elders past and present.
Speaker 2: Welcome to part two of my chat with Jesse Stevens.
Speaker 2: She's an author, executive editor, a mum and me as
Speaker 2: well as a host of two incredibly successful podcasts, and
Speaker 2: I've loved talking to her. I called this podcast Bounce
Speaker 2: Forward because it was initially about bouncing forward, not having
Speaker 2: to snap back into your pre baby body and all
Speaker 2: that terrible toxic talk.
Speaker 1: But what was your recovery like.
Speaker 2: And did you experience any of that bounce back kind
Speaker 2: of toxic culture because you work in the media.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I certainly really wasn't feeling like myself towards the
Speaker 3: end of my pregnancy, and I was doing a bit
Speaker 3: of the project and even putting clothes on and seeing
Speaker 3: your fail like you just don't feel like you look
Speaker 3: like yourself. And I struggled with that, and then I
Speaker 3: had a really straightforward birth, which I'm so grateful for
Speaker 3: because even my sister I did and Caltoren sister, very
Speaker 3: different experience, and I was really surprised how I felt.
Speaker 3: A week after, I actually felt really good, so I
Speaker 3: would go for little walks. And then I'd been working
Speaker 3: with a pelvic floor physio and she had done really
Speaker 3: great work with me during pregnancy, so I just whatever
Speaker 3: she said was gospel, and I thought, if you rush
Speaker 3: this like you could really hurt yourself and do damage.
Speaker 3: So I was just really gentle and it reminded me
Speaker 3: a few years before. Actually, about a year before falling pregnant,
Speaker 3: I had a really bad injury. I broke my tibia
Speaker 3: and I needed surgery, and that was actually really good
Speaker 3: mentally to know that you do recover, that it's slow,
Speaker 3: that it's baby steps, and to also like listen to
Speaker 3: your body. If something feels like it's too much, then stop.
Speaker 3: So that was a really good blueprint for me, I
Speaker 3: think in terms of fitness and exercise.
Speaker 2: Looking at it as like an injury, like you've gone
Speaker 2: through something that requires recovery. Yes, and that fourth trimester
Speaker 2: is so important. So going from that, you are so busy,
Speaker 2: you're a writer, TV and podcast hosts, extraordinary, how do
Speaker 2: you find time for yourself and for a bit of
Speaker 2: mental health.
Speaker 1: How do you look after your mental health?
Speaker 3: I have found this really interesting in the postpartum period
Speaker 3: because I don't know if this is everyone experience. But
Speaker 3: my husband from day one is really good at advocating
Speaker 3: for his time. So he would say, I need a
Speaker 3: bit of Luca time this afternoon, and he would go
Speaker 3: for a walk or have a lay down or whatever.
Speaker 3: And at first I was sort of like, well, I
Speaker 3: don't get any Jesse time, Like why does he get?
Speaker 3: And then I thought no, I think advocating for your
Speaker 3: own time is important and I don't. I'm not going
Speaker 3: to be a martyr about this, so I just started
Speaker 3: going all right, well, Jesse needs to go to the
Speaker 3: gym three times a week to feel like herself, and
Speaker 3: I've made it happen, so I, you know, on a weekend,
Speaker 3: I try and go on like a Saturday or a Sunday.
Speaker 3: And then during the week I say to him, you know,
Speaker 3: at six point thirty, when Luna's going bath, in bed
Speaker 3: and all of that, I'm going to run up the
Speaker 3: road and go to the gym. And having a gym
Speaker 3: that's walking distance, I just classest one had to be done.
Speaker 3: I have really prioritized that, and I am it's a cliche,
Speaker 3: but like such a better mum when I have been
Speaker 3: out of the house for an hour and can just
Speaker 3: get some of that energy out.
Speaker 2: It's everything, isn't it. It's just everything. What have you
Speaker 2: learned from being a mum? I think.
Speaker 3: A bit of more self compassion than I've ever had
Speaker 3: because I look at Luna and she is the most
Speaker 3: perfect thing I have ever seen in my whole life.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't change a single thing about her, And then
Speaker 3: I think, and I also actually even in terms of
Speaker 3: food and the care that I give her, I saw
Speaker 3: something recently that was like, we should all treat ourselves
Speaker 3: more like babies, and I thought, yeah, like, yeah, when
Speaker 3: Luna needs a nap, she needs a nap, and when
Speaker 3: she needs a snack, she needs a snack. And I'm
Speaker 3: really conscious of, you know, food and all that stuff
Speaker 3: that I give her. And I think I've been better
Speaker 3: to myself since since having her, And I've also, again
Speaker 3: a cliche, but like my days at home with Luna
Speaker 3: are the best days of my week. Like it's taught
Speaker 3: me to slow down and to go those things that
Speaker 3: you were chasing that you thought that when your book
Speaker 3: came out, you would suddenly feel this happiness. I've felt
Speaker 3: one hundred times that happiness because Luna says.
Speaker 1: Dog wrong, Like yeah, and that.
Speaker 3: Has been a brilliant lesson.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I guess for you working in the media
Speaker 2: where it's so fast and social media and to just
Speaker 2: I noticed that with my own daughter, like you know,
Speaker 2: working in the media as well, and seeing her just say,
Speaker 2: Bobo yesterday where there was a rainbow, I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: that's that's what it's about.
Speaker 1: That's what it's about. The Bobo. You are so close
Speaker 1: with your family. You work with your sister, your husband,
Speaker 1: your in laws.
Speaker 2: Now do you have in build babysitting in the office,
Speaker 2: Like what is that? Like?
Speaker 3: You know, I wish right now, I've got my mum
Speaker 3: is downstairs with Luna. The family help that we've had
Speaker 3: has been amazing. And my mother in law, who is
Speaker 3: the co owner of Mamma Maya, she has a day
Speaker 3: on Friday that she's like rearranged her whole week so
Speaker 3: that she can have her time with Luna, like they
Speaker 3: are just even last night. My Luca's away this week
Speaker 3: and you know, she came over at four point thirty
Speaker 3: and I was like.
Speaker 1: I'm taking her for dinner.
Speaker 3: I'm taking her for dinner and a buff And she
Speaker 3: came back at seven and was like that was the
Speaker 3: highlight of my week. So that's been She's the first grandchild,
Speaker 3: so I yeah, a great thing. And then otherwise I
Speaker 3: must say since ramping up work a bit more, it's
Speaker 3: like the jigsaw of you know, a babysitter and childcare
Speaker 3: and all of that has been.
Speaker 1: Hectic, isn't it.
Speaker 3: But where it's like you need three lines of defense
Speaker 3: because something always fall through, someone's sick and then you
Speaker 3: just go, I can't go to work tomorrow, Like what
Speaker 3: do I do? So, yeah, that's tough.
Speaker 2: It's crazy. How do you work with your family? Like
Speaker 2: I have a family business. They teach martial arts, right,
Speaker 2: martial arts schools in Melbourne and mom and dad are
Speaker 2: like the head martial arts instructors.
Speaker 1: My sister works in it. You know, I work in
Speaker 1: a little bit.
Speaker 2: Teaching and I mean it gets intense sometimes. What are
Speaker 2: your top tips for like even working with your sister,
Speaker 2: Like I work with my sister, but I have to
Speaker 2: have like small doses sometimes.
Speaker 1: Like oh yeah, what's your top tip?
Speaker 2: Because you guys podcast together and it just seems like
Speaker 2: you've got the best relationship in the world.
Speaker 3: We're very, very close. But we were laughing recently. I
Speaker 3: was not a great pregnant person and Claire was not
Speaker 3: a great pregnant person. We were miserable and uncomfortable and
Speaker 3: sleep deprived, and we were laughing that we'd come into
Speaker 3: work in a terrible mood and the only people we
Speaker 3: could take it out on were each other, because we
Speaker 3: know that, you know, I'm going to be awful to
Speaker 3: the podcast producer, so I would have some spray at Claire,
Speaker 3: which the podcast producer is watching, going I feel incredibly
Speaker 3: uncomfortable about this fight going on, Like we fight like sisters.
Speaker 1: Yes, and in.
Speaker 3: A way, that's good that you can have that outlet,
Speaker 3: so you're not being awful to people who don't Ye,
Speaker 3: that's true, but it's it's funny. It's we have a
Speaker 3: few lines. Like even my husband works at we work together,
Speaker 3: and you know, sometimes he'll come home from work and
Speaker 3: I'll ask him a question and he's very boundaried, like
Speaker 3: he does not want to talk about work at home,
Speaker 3: and saying with my mother in law, like it's funny.
Speaker 1: It's like when we're not in the office.
Speaker 3: We talk about things that any daughter in law and
Speaker 3: mother in law would talk about, which is mostly lunar
Speaker 3: or television shows or.
Speaker 1: You know, leave it at the office.
Speaker 3: We leave it at the office. And you know, we've
Speaker 3: not always done that perfectly, but it definitely works. And
Speaker 3: I think that because I've always I've had a tweet
Speaker 3: in my whole life. So the idea that you know,
Speaker 3: I'm very close to people I work with and everything
Speaker 3: is not true totally foreign to me. Yes, So I've
Speaker 3: always mixed, and you know, same with Luca and same
Speaker 3: with Maya. We've all always mixed family and work and social.
Speaker 3: It's a big mess, and I don't think we'd have
Speaker 3: it any other way.
Speaker 1: That's beautiful. I love it.
Speaker 2: But you recently took Lunar for a European trip. I
Speaker 2: got to ask, how the heck did you manage that?
Speaker 1: How old was she?
Speaker 3: She was eleven months eleven months, which since going a
Speaker 3: lot of people have said, and I would have to agree,
Speaker 3: got to be probably the hardest age because no, I like,
Speaker 3: she wouldn't have been interested in an iPad. It's she
Speaker 3: is awake, she only has two naps a day, and
Speaker 3: she needs to be stimulated.
Speaker 1: So it was hard. But what we did was my parents.
Speaker 3: I'd never been overseas with my parents before, and so
Speaker 3: we said, hey, we're going to Ireland for this wedding,
Speaker 3: you and mum and dad should come and we would
Speaker 3: like get these airbnbs or whatever. And Mum and Dad
Speaker 3: were able to help with the childcare as well. So
Speaker 3: even because we're going to this wedding and they would
Speaker 3: look after the girls or like we had little even
Speaker 3: when we're in France. I think one night we went
Speaker 3: out for a drink or whatever and Mum and.
Speaker 1: Dad were there.
Speaker 3: That was amazing, but it was hard.
Speaker 1: The fly.
Speaker 2: The fly, yes, so long, it never ends and you
Speaker 2: look at your watch and you think, oh, I thought
Speaker 2: it's been like an hour, and it's like been four minutes. Yes,
Speaker 2: I just and I'm just talking from experience of like
Speaker 2: taking Vader when she was a few months to Bali
Speaker 2: and just literally counting the seconds down until the plane landed,
Speaker 2: and that's what five or six hours, But Europe's a
Speaker 2: whole nother Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm stand still. And Luca had to come back
Speaker 3: for work early, so I did that flight back on
Speaker 3: my own, and there was a point where I went
Speaker 3: to the bathroom obviously with Luna because who else is
Speaker 3: going to hold her, and just sobbed. I just went, yeah,
Speaker 3: I am too much trapped. I can't go anywhere. I
Speaker 3: can't I couldn't eat because she was on my lap.
Speaker 3: I couldn't have water because if I drank water, I
Speaker 3: would need to read just as she went to sleep,
Speaker 3: So I just had to sit there and read the
Speaker 3: same book to her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, every and over again.
Speaker 3: I al was like, if I can survive that, I
Speaker 3: can survive anything.
Speaker 2: My sisters just moved to Portland and she's like, come
Speaker 2: on over, and I'm like, it is the other side
Speaker 2: of the world and I have a two year old,
Speaker 2: she's just turned two, and I just can't think of
Speaker 2: anything worse.
Speaker 1: But I've got to get there. I've got to get there.
Speaker 1: So tell me last question.
Speaker 2: What was the most helpful advice you were given to
Speaker 2: becoming a parent and what was the most unhelpful advice?
Speaker 4: Ooh, the most un Oh, what's the most Okay, the
Speaker 4: most helpful advice.
Speaker 3: Was get out of the house every day. Yeah, great,
Speaker 3: and that has and maybe not everyone's like this, but
Speaker 3: it makes you feel a part of the world, and
Speaker 3: sometimes you think that you can't possibly and your baby's
Speaker 3: gonna scream. Luna's just a way better baby when she's
Speaker 3: been out and about and stimulated and everything. That's And
Speaker 3: I think I got my confidence up early when she
Speaker 3: was two weeks old. It was my first day of
Speaker 3: maternity leave on my own and Barbie had come out,
Speaker 3: and I was like, I'm going to go to the
Speaker 3: mums and bub session with my two weeks old.
Speaker 1: Fab crazy thing to do. Yeah, loved it like it was.
Speaker 3: It was fabulous, But like I bought myself popcorn and
Speaker 3: then I had Luna, I just went, you don't have
Speaker 3: enough hands for popcorn, like it was a baptism by fire.
Speaker 3: So get out of the house every day. And probably
Speaker 3: I'm trying to think what the worst advice would be.
Speaker 3: I think that people who suggest that you sleep when
Speaker 3: the baby sleeps, yeah, don't understand that you don't know
Speaker 3: how long the.
Speaker 1: Baby's going to sleep.
Speaker 3: So then you go, all right, I'm gonna to lay down,
Speaker 3: and just as you get to sleep, they wake up
Speaker 3: because they only sleep for twenty minutes at a time,
Speaker 3: and there's no way not to be sleep deprived. Yes,
Speaker 3: and telling you that you should just sleep more. Is
Speaker 3: kind of annoying.
Speaker 1: It's so annoying, isn't it. It's the most annoying thing. Leaning.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you just got a leaning. Oh Jesse, thank you
Speaker 2: so much for joining me on Bounce Forward. I love
Speaker 2: chatting to you today.
Speaker 1: Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2: Thanks so much for listening to bounce I love having
Speaker 2: your company. So please DM me on Instagram at tifhaul
Speaker 2: Underscore XO and let me know all the questions you'd
Speaker 2: love me to cover. Don't forget to rate and review
Speaker 2: me on your podcast out Speak soon.
Speaker 1: Happy Days,