WEBVTT - How Jessie Stephens and her Family Manage Working Together 

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to Bounce Forward with me, tip Hal.

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<v Speaker 2>I'd like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land

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<v Speaker 2>of which I'm recording this podcast, the Werendar people of

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<v Speaker 2>the cooler Nation.

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<v Speaker 1>I pay my respects to elders past and present.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome to part two of my chat with Jesse Stevens.

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<v Speaker 2>She's an author, executive editor, a mum and me as

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<v Speaker 2>well as a host of two incredibly successful podcasts, and

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<v Speaker 2>I've loved talking to her. I called this podcast Bounce

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<v Speaker 2>Forward because it was initially about bouncing forward, not having

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<v Speaker 2>to snap back into your pre baby body and all

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<v Speaker 2>that terrible toxic talk.

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<v Speaker 1>But what was your recovery like.

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<v Speaker 2>And did you experience any of that bounce back kind

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<v Speaker 2>of toxic culture because you work in the media.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I certainly really wasn't feeling like myself towards the

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<v Speaker 3>end of my pregnancy, and I was doing a bit

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<v Speaker 3>of the project and even putting clothes on and seeing

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<v Speaker 3>your fail like you just don't feel like you look

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<v Speaker 3>like yourself. And I struggled with that, and then I

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<v Speaker 3>had a really straightforward birth, which I'm so grateful for

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<v Speaker 3>because even my sister I did and Caltoren sister, very

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<v Speaker 3>different experience, and I was really surprised how I felt.

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<v Speaker 3>A week after, I actually felt really good, so I

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<v Speaker 3>would go for little walks. And then I'd been working

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<v Speaker 3>with a pelvic floor physio and she had done really

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<v Speaker 3>great work with me during pregnancy, so I just whatever

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<v Speaker 3>she said was gospel, and I thought, if you rush

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<v Speaker 3>this like you could really hurt yourself and do damage.

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<v Speaker 3>So I was just really gentle and it reminded me

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<v Speaker 3>a few years before. Actually, about a year before falling pregnant,

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<v Speaker 3>I had a really bad injury. I broke my tibia

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<v Speaker 3>and I needed surgery, and that was actually really good

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<v Speaker 3>mentally to know that you do recover, that it's slow,

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<v Speaker 3>that it's baby steps, and to also like listen to

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<v Speaker 3>your body. If something feels like it's too much, then stop.

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<v Speaker 3>So that was a really good blueprint for me, I

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<v Speaker 3>think in terms of fitness and exercise.

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<v Speaker 2>Looking at it as like an injury, like you've gone

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<v Speaker 2>through something that requires recovery. Yes, and that fourth trimester

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<v Speaker 2>is so important. So going from that, you are so busy,

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<v Speaker 2>you're a writer, TV and podcast hosts, extraordinary, how do

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<v Speaker 2>you find time for yourself and for a bit of

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<v Speaker 2>mental health.

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<v Speaker 1>How do you look after your mental health?

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<v Speaker 3>I have found this really interesting in the postpartum period

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<v Speaker 3>because I don't know if this is everyone experience. But

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<v Speaker 3>my husband from day one is really good at advocating

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<v Speaker 3>for his time. So he would say, I need a

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<v Speaker 3>bit of Luca time this afternoon, and he would go

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<v Speaker 3>for a walk or have a lay down or whatever.

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<v Speaker 3>And at first I was sort of like, well, I

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<v Speaker 3>don't get any Jesse time, Like why does he get?

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<v Speaker 3>And then I thought no, I think advocating for your

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<v Speaker 3>own time is important and I don't. I'm not going

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<v Speaker 3>to be a martyr about this, so I just started

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<v Speaker 3>going all right, well, Jesse needs to go to the

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<v Speaker 3>gym three times a week to feel like herself, and

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<v Speaker 3>I've made it happen, so I, you know, on a weekend,

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<v Speaker 3>I try and go on like a Saturday or a Sunday.

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<v Speaker 3>And then during the week I say to him, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>at six point thirty, when Luna's going bath, in bed

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<v Speaker 3>and all of that, I'm going to run up the

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<v Speaker 3>road and go to the gym. And having a gym

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<v Speaker 3>that's walking distance, I just classest one had to be done.

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<v Speaker 3>I have really prioritized that, and I am it's a cliche,

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<v Speaker 3>but like such a better mum when I have been

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<v Speaker 3>out of the house for an hour and can just

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<v Speaker 3>get some of that energy out.

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<v Speaker 2>It's everything, isn't it. It's just everything. What have you

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<v Speaker 2>learned from being a mum? I think.

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<v Speaker 3>A bit of more self compassion than I've ever had

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<v Speaker 3>because I look at Luna and she is the most

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<v Speaker 3>perfect thing I have ever seen in my whole life.

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<v Speaker 3>I wouldn't change a single thing about her, And then

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<v Speaker 3>I think, and I also actually even in terms of

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<v Speaker 3>food and the care that I give her, I saw

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<v Speaker 3>something recently that was like, we should all treat ourselves

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<v Speaker 3>more like babies, and I thought, yeah, like, yeah, when

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<v Speaker 3>Luna needs a nap, she needs a nap, and when

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<v Speaker 3>she needs a snack, she needs a snack. And I'm

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<v Speaker 3>really conscious of, you know, food and all that stuff

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<v Speaker 3>that I give her. And I think I've been better

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<v Speaker 3>to myself since since having her, And I've also, again

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<v Speaker 3>a cliche, but like my days at home with Luna

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<v Speaker 3>are the best days of my week. Like it's taught

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<v Speaker 3>me to slow down and to go those things that

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<v Speaker 3>you were chasing that you thought that when your book

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<v Speaker 3>came out, you would suddenly feel this happiness. I've felt

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<v Speaker 3>one hundred times that happiness because Luna says.

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<v Speaker 1>Dog wrong, Like yeah, and that.

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<v Speaker 3>Has been a brilliant lesson.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I guess for you working in the media

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<v Speaker 2>where it's so fast and social media and to just

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<v Speaker 2>I noticed that with my own daughter, like you know,

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<v Speaker 2>working in the media as well, and seeing her just say,

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<v Speaker 2>Bobo yesterday where there was a rainbow, I'm like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>that's that's what it's about.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what it's about. The Bobo. You are so close

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<v Speaker 1>with your family. You work with your sister, your husband,

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<v Speaker 1>your in laws.

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<v Speaker 2>Now do you have in build babysitting in the office,

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<v Speaker 2>Like what is that? Like?

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<v Speaker 3>You know, I wish right now, I've got my mum

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<v Speaker 3>is downstairs with Luna. The family help that we've had

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<v Speaker 3>has been amazing. And my mother in law, who is

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<v Speaker 3>the co owner of Mamma Maya, she has a day

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<v Speaker 3>on Friday that she's like rearranged her whole week so

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<v Speaker 3>that she can have her time with Luna, like they

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<v Speaker 3>are just even last night. My Luca's away this week

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<v Speaker 3>and you know, she came over at four point thirty

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<v Speaker 3>and I was like.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm taking her for dinner.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm taking her for dinner and a buff And she

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<v Speaker 3>came back at seven and was like that was the

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<v Speaker 3>highlight of my week. So that's been She's the first grandchild,

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<v Speaker 3>so I yeah, a great thing. And then otherwise I

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<v Speaker 3>must say since ramping up work a bit more, it's

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<v Speaker 3>like the jigsaw of you know, a babysitter and childcare

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<v Speaker 3>and all of that has been.

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<v Speaker 1>Hectic, isn't it.

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<v Speaker 3>But where it's like you need three lines of defense

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<v Speaker 3>because something always fall through, someone's sick and then you

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<v Speaker 3>just go, I can't go to work tomorrow, Like what

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<v Speaker 3>do I do? So, yeah, that's tough.

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<v Speaker 2>It's crazy. How do you work with your family? Like

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<v Speaker 2>I have a family business. They teach martial arts, right,

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<v Speaker 2>martial arts schools in Melbourne and mom and dad are

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<v Speaker 2>like the head martial arts instructors.

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<v Speaker 1>My sister works in it. You know, I work in

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>Teaching and I mean it gets intense sometimes. What are

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<v Speaker 2>your top tips for like even working with your sister,

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<v Speaker 2>Like I work with my sister, but I have to

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<v Speaker 2>have like small doses sometimes.

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<v Speaker 1>Like oh yeah, what's your top tip?

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<v Speaker 2>Because you guys podcast together and it just seems like

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<v Speaker 2>you've got the best relationship in the world.

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<v Speaker 3>We're very, very close. But we were laughing recently. I

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<v Speaker 3>was not a great pregnant person and Claire was not

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<v Speaker 3>a great pregnant person. We were miserable and uncomfortable and

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<v Speaker 3>sleep deprived, and we were laughing that we'd come into

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<v Speaker 3>work in a terrible mood and the only people we

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<v Speaker 3>could take it out on were each other, because we

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<v Speaker 3>know that, you know, I'm going to be awful to

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<v Speaker 3>the podcast producer, so I would have some spray at Claire,

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<v Speaker 3>which the podcast producer is watching, going I feel incredibly

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<v Speaker 3>uncomfortable about this fight going on, Like we fight like sisters.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, and in.

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<v Speaker 3>A way, that's good that you can have that outlet,

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<v Speaker 3>so you're not being awful to people who don't Ye,

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<v Speaker 3>that's true, but it's it's funny. It's we have a

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<v Speaker 3>few lines. Like even my husband works at we work together,

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<v Speaker 3>and you know, sometimes he'll come home from work and

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<v Speaker 3>I'll ask him a question and he's very boundaried, like

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<v Speaker 3>he does not want to talk about work at home,

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<v Speaker 3>and saying with my mother in law, like it's funny.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like when we're not in the office.

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<v Speaker 3>We talk about things that any daughter in law and

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<v Speaker 3>mother in law would talk about, which is mostly lunar

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<v Speaker 3>or television shows or.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, leave it at the office.

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<v Speaker 3>We leave it at the office. And you know, we've

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<v Speaker 3>not always done that perfectly, but it definitely works. And

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<v Speaker 3>I think that because I've always I've had a tweet

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<v Speaker 3>in my whole life. So the idea that you know,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm very close to people I work with and everything

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<v Speaker 3>is not true totally foreign to me. Yes, So I've

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<v Speaker 3>always mixed, and you know, same with Luca and same

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<v Speaker 3>with Maya. We've all always mixed family and work and social.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a big mess, and I don't think we'd have

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<v Speaker 3>it any other way.

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<v Speaker 1>That's beautiful. I love it.

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<v Speaker 2>But you recently took Lunar for a European trip. I

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<v Speaker 2>got to ask, how the heck did you manage that?

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<v Speaker 1>How old was she?

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<v Speaker 3>She was eleven months eleven months, which since going a

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<v Speaker 3>lot of people have said, and I would have to agree,

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<v Speaker 3>got to be probably the hardest age because no, I like,

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<v Speaker 3>she wouldn't have been interested in an iPad. It's she

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<v Speaker 3>is awake, she only has two naps a day, and

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<v Speaker 3>she needs to be stimulated.

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<v Speaker 1>So it was hard. But what we did was my parents.

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<v Speaker 3>I'd never been overseas with my parents before, and so

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<v Speaker 3>we said, hey, we're going to Ireland for this wedding,

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<v Speaker 3>you and mum and dad should come and we would

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<v Speaker 3>like get these airbnbs or whatever. And Mum and Dad

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<v Speaker 3>were able to help with the childcare as well. So

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<v Speaker 3>even because we're going to this wedding and they would

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<v Speaker 3>look after the girls or like we had little even

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<v Speaker 3>when we're in France. I think one night we went

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<v Speaker 3>out for a drink or whatever and Mum and.

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<v Speaker 1>Dad were there.

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<v Speaker 3>That was amazing, but it was hard.

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<v Speaker 1>The fly.

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<v Speaker 2>The fly, yes, so long, it never ends and you

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<v Speaker 2>look at your watch and you think, oh, I thought

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<v Speaker 2>it's been like an hour, and it's like been four minutes. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>I just and I'm just talking from experience of like

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<v Speaker 2>taking Vader when she was a few months to Bali

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<v Speaker 2>and just literally counting the seconds down until the plane landed,

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<v Speaker 2>and that's what five or six hours, But Europe's a

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<v Speaker 2>whole nother Wow.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I'm stand still. And Luca had to come back

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<v Speaker 3>for work early, so I did that flight back on

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<v Speaker 3>my own, and there was a point where I went

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<v Speaker 3>to the bathroom obviously with Luna because who else is

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<v Speaker 3>going to hold her, and just sobbed. I just went, yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>I am too much trapped. I can't go anywhere. I

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<v Speaker 3>can't I couldn't eat because she was on my lap.

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<v Speaker 3>I couldn't have water because if I drank water, I

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<v Speaker 3>would need to read just as she went to sleep,

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<v Speaker 3>So I just had to sit there and read the

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<v Speaker 3>same book to her.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, every and over again.

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<v Speaker 3>I al was like, if I can survive that, I

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<v Speaker 3>can survive anything.

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<v Speaker 2>My sisters just moved to Portland and she's like, come

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<v Speaker 2>on over, and I'm like, it is the other side

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<v Speaker 2>of the world and I have a two year old,

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<v Speaker 2>she's just turned two, and I just can't think of

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<v Speaker 2>anything worse.

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<v Speaker 1>But I've got to get there. I've got to get there.

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<v Speaker 1>So tell me last question.

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<v Speaker 2>What was the most helpful advice you were given to

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<v Speaker 2>becoming a parent and what was the most unhelpful advice?

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<v Speaker 4>Ooh, the most un Oh, what's the most Okay, the

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<v Speaker 4>most helpful advice.

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<v Speaker 3>Was get out of the house every day. Yeah, great,

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<v Speaker 3>and that has and maybe not everyone's like this, but

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<v Speaker 3>it makes you feel a part of the world, and

0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:30.080
<v Speaker 3>sometimes you think that you can't possibly and your baby's

0:13:30.080 --> 0:13:33.840
<v Speaker 3>gonna scream. Luna's just a way better baby when she's

0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:38.760
<v Speaker 3>been out and about and stimulated and everything. That's And

0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:41.320
<v Speaker 3>I think I got my confidence up early when she

0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:45.160
<v Speaker 3>was two weeks old. It was my first day of

0:13:45.200 --> 0:13:47.560
<v Speaker 3>maternity leave on my own and Barbie had come out,

0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:49.360
<v Speaker 3>and I was like, I'm going to go to the

0:13:49.440 --> 0:13:51.480
<v Speaker 3>mums and bub session with my two weeks old.

0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:55.280
<v Speaker 1>Fab crazy thing to do. Yeah, loved it like it was.

0:13:55.480 --> 0:13:59.200
<v Speaker 3>It was fabulous, But like I bought myself popcorn and

0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:01.439
<v Speaker 3>then I had Luna, I just went, you don't have

0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:04.720
<v Speaker 3>enough hands for popcorn, like it was a baptism by fire.

0:14:05.360 --> 0:14:09.199
<v Speaker 3>So get out of the house every day. And probably

0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:12.760
<v Speaker 3>I'm trying to think what the worst advice would be.

0:14:14.320 --> 0:14:18.559
<v Speaker 3>I think that people who suggest that you sleep when

0:14:18.600 --> 0:14:23.080
<v Speaker 3>the baby sleeps, yeah, don't understand that you don't know

0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:23.800
<v Speaker 3>how long the.

0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:24.800
<v Speaker 1>Baby's going to sleep.

0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:27.960
<v Speaker 3>So then you go, all right, I'm gonna to lay down,

0:14:28.920 --> 0:14:30.720
<v Speaker 3>and just as you get to sleep, they wake up

0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:32.880
<v Speaker 3>because they only sleep for twenty minutes at a time,

0:14:33.880 --> 0:14:38.080
<v Speaker 3>and there's no way not to be sleep deprived. Yes,

0:14:38.600 --> 0:14:41.480
<v Speaker 3>and telling you that you should just sleep more. Is

0:14:42.120 --> 0:14:43.080
<v Speaker 3>kind of annoying.

0:14:43.800 --> 0:14:48.640
<v Speaker 1>It's so annoying, isn't it. It's the most annoying thing. Leaning.

0:14:49.360 --> 0:14:52.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you just got a leaning. Oh Jesse, thank you

0:14:52.040 --> 0:14:54.040
<v Speaker 2>so much for joining me on Bounce Forward. I love

0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:55.040
<v Speaker 2>chatting to you today.

0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:56.640
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for having me.

0:14:58.360 --> 0:15:01.440
<v Speaker 2>Thanks so much for listening to bounce I love having

0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:04.760
<v Speaker 2>your company. So please DM me on Instagram at tifhaul

0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:08.320
<v Speaker 2>Underscore XO and let me know all the questions you'd

0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:11.000
<v Speaker 2>love me to cover. Don't forget to rate and review

0:15:11.040 --> 0:15:13.160
<v Speaker 2>me on your podcast out Speak soon.

0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:15.560
<v Speaker 1>Happy Days,