WEBVTT - START HERE! Did Brydie blow her $100,000 inheritance? 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:03.400 Good morning everyone, and welcome back to Sugar Mamma's Fireplay, 0:00:03.560 --> 0:00:07.360 the podcast that ignites your financial journey with inspiring stories 0:00:07.400 --> 0:00:12.360 and innovative strategies. I am your host's financial planner, Canna Campbell, 0:00:12.480 --> 0:00:16.599 and today this is a start Here series where we 0:00:16.720 --> 0:00:20.400 have frank, open and honest discussions about what's going on 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:25.079 and how and where to simply get started so that 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:27.640 you are well and truly on trap to see your 0:00:27.640 --> 0:00:36.760 financial goals and dreams finally flourish. Now, as always, I 0:00:36.840 --> 0:00:40.080 must do my general advice warning and of course let 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:42.640 you know that my financial planning license details are in 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:46.159 the podcast notes. The reason why I say this to 0:00:46.200 --> 0:00:49.640 you in particular for these start here series is you 0:00:49.760 --> 0:00:53.240 must use all of my content as an educational guide only. 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:57.840 Never am I giving you personal advice, product advice, or 0:00:57.920 --> 0:01:02.600 investment advice, so that you understand exactly where you need 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:06.440 to go, learn more of and maybe even get personal 0:01:06.440 --> 0:01:09.680 advice from a financial planner when you are ready to 0:01:09.840 --> 0:01:13.600 roll with your financial journey. All right, let us begin. 0:01:13.800 --> 0:01:16.200 So this morning's episode is a bit of a special one. 0:01:16.200 --> 0:01:19.120 We're in for a treat. Instead of me normally reading 0:01:19.240 --> 0:01:23.959 your dms, we actually have someone here with us right now, 0:01:24.280 --> 0:01:26.440 So you're going to be listening to our chat, our 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:31.080 conversation now. Bridy is thirty years old. She's gone through 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:34.360 a lot, and I have a feeling that a lot 0:01:34.400 --> 0:01:37.240 of people are going to really relate to what she 0:01:37.319 --> 0:01:40.320 has gone through and where she is right now and 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:43.000 what she wants to achieve. So with great honor, I 0:01:43.040 --> 0:01:47.199 introduce to you Bridy for our series start here. BRIDI 0:01:47.240 --> 0:01:50.000 thank you so much for coming in. Can you explain 0:01:50.040 --> 0:01:52.640 to me, like where you're at right now and like 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:56.000 what's going on and why you would like me to 0:01:56.320 --> 0:01:59.320 I guess give you some general guidance as to where 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:00.000 to get started. 0:02:00.400 --> 0:02:03.080 Well, for one, we're sitting in a beautiful home. It's 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:06.760 a testament to like how you've built your dream, which 0:02:06.800 --> 0:02:09.480 is like already why I want to talk to you, 0:02:09.760 --> 0:02:13.280 Why I want your help? Yeah, is I would like 0:02:13.480 --> 0:02:17.400 to even create a financial dream. I'm like kind of 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:21.240 scared of the housing staff. I'm single, I'm not thinking 0:02:21.280 --> 0:02:25.080 about buying a property. I want to live a fun, full, 0:02:25.200 --> 0:02:26.800 exciting life. I'm thirty. 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:28.920 Liked it be tied down. You just want to be 0:02:28.960 --> 0:02:31.840 a complete flexibility you at the luxury I want. 0:02:31.760 --> 0:02:35.320 To enjoy my life, like because I work hard and 0:02:35.360 --> 0:02:38.480 I want happiness, but I feel like really scared when 0:02:38.520 --> 0:02:41.160 I look at Okay, these houses are costing this much, 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:42.839 and this is how much you need to live off, 0:02:42.840 --> 0:02:45.160 and got to create a career that brings in home 0:02:45.240 --> 0:02:49.000 this much, and I'm just like trying to overwhelming. Yeah, 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:51.480 i feel like I would never get there. Like that's 0:02:51.520 --> 0:02:53.920 a belief thing I know that I have. That is 0:02:54.080 --> 0:02:56.519 maybe something I need to work on too, But it's 0:02:56.560 --> 0:02:59.400 completely overwhelming. And so I've actually buried my head in 0:02:59.440 --> 0:03:04.480 the sand. Never saved books. Let's talk about it like 0:03:04.600 --> 0:03:06.080 I've never saved. 0:03:05.960 --> 0:03:07.720 I'm not a huge judge. 0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:10.960 There's a lot we could unpack in terms of mistakes. 0:03:11.200 --> 0:03:16.160 Well, why don't we unpack those mistakes so that we 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:17.920 can deal with them properly. You hit them in the 0:03:17.919 --> 0:03:23.440 butt and process them and digest them and maybe dissect 0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:26.720 them so that we can then clear the path for 0:03:26.800 --> 0:03:32.280 goodness and for abundance and prosperity. And you touched on mindset. 0:03:32.360 --> 0:03:35.200 Mindset is everything. If you go into a financial journey 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:39.040 thinking this is hard, it's confusing, overwhelming, their mindset is 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:41.000 going to show in the results and there won't be 0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:42.680 much results. But if you go and going, okay, well, 0:03:42.680 --> 0:03:44.760 I'm going to break this down. Yes it might be 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:47.200 at times a little bit challenging and confusing, but I 0:03:47.240 --> 0:03:49.840 can do this, and I'll reach out for help and 0:03:49.880 --> 0:03:51.960 get people to explain things when I get stuck, and 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:54.320 I won't do anything until I'm one hundred percent sure. 0:03:54.720 --> 0:03:58.760 Suddenly your energy starts to shift and you start to realize, actually, 0:03:58.720 --> 0:04:00.440 it's maybe not as bad as we think it is, 0:04:00.760 --> 0:04:04.520 so let's unpack it. It's bad, Okay, I don't mind. 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:07.080 It's not bad Like there's I've been a fincial planner 0:04:07.080 --> 0:04:10.520 for over twenty years. I have seen everything and heard everything. 0:04:10.520 --> 0:04:12.720 And the other day I was doing a keynote piece 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:16.440 for PwC for their staff on financial wellness, and someone 0:04:16.480 --> 0:04:19.279 asked me a question about what I'd seen, and look, 0:04:19.360 --> 0:04:21.680 I've seen someone with three hundred and sixty thousand dollars 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:22.840 credit and credit card debt. 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:25.919 Like made me feel better. It made me feel better 0:04:25.960 --> 0:04:26.960 about what I knew. 0:04:27.040 --> 0:04:29.400 I had to tell you, what, unless someone comes to 0:04:29.440 --> 0:04:31.320 me with more credit card debt than that, and that 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:33.480 person continued to bury their head in the sand. But 0:04:33.640 --> 0:04:36.200 that's not the point. Like it doesn't matter about your history, 0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:38.960 like you really need to be kind and compassionate about that. 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:42.279 What matters is what you're doing going forward and understanding 0:04:42.279 --> 0:04:45.120 that you have a choice, and the choice is right here, 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:47.440 right now in front of you. To step up. You 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:50.320 arm yourself with financial education and don't try and do 0:04:50.360 --> 0:04:52.839 it all at the same time. Yeah, don't try and 0:04:52.880 --> 0:04:55.440 master a budget overnight. That's not going to happen. 0:04:55.640 --> 0:04:55.960 True. 0:04:55.960 --> 0:04:59.360 It takes practice. And it's like training exercise. Like you 0:04:59.400 --> 0:05:01.440 can't just go for a run and be fit. Yeah, 0:05:01.560 --> 0:05:03.120 you have to go for a run three four times 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:04.799 a week, and you have to try and run faster 0:05:05.000 --> 0:05:06.680 or run further. And then you and you start with 0:05:06.720 --> 0:05:09.719 like one minute exactly exactly, and then you might do 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:11.919 some weights in there because you're focusing on your cardio 0:05:11.960 --> 0:05:14.120 and you need some strength training or some flexibility or 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:16.480 to some yoga in there. So it's not overnight. It's 0:05:16.480 --> 0:05:18.280 a journey. Then you have a setback where you might 0:05:18.320 --> 0:05:21.040 binge on a weekend, yeah, or maybe you get injured 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:22.920 and you kind of exercise so you lose some fitness. 0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:26.159 It's the same with money. It's never magical and overnight, 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:28.680 and if it is, that's a red flag. Something is 0:05:28.720 --> 0:05:31.159 not sustainable and it's only a quick fix or a 0:05:31.160 --> 0:05:33.560 band aid. All right, that's not for my ted talk. 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:35.359 I want to hear about you. What's been going on 0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:37.800 in the past and where are you at right now? 0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:41.240 Well, I think the thing that is the hardest is 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:44.760 like the present still has remnants of the mistake of 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:49.080 the past. So I was given an inheritance when my 0:05:49.120 --> 0:05:51.440 grandfather died when I was in like year twelve, and 0:05:51.480 --> 0:05:55.440 it was one hundred and ten thousand, okay, and there's 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:59.200 ten thousand left. Okay, told you you were going to follow. 0:05:59.440 --> 0:06:02.880 Yeah, I all, not all. I have got a lot 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:03.360 to say about it. 0:06:03.400 --> 0:06:05.440 I don't even know. I don't even know what a 0:06:05.520 --> 0:06:09.560 twenty year old spends their like, I can't even tell you. 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:11.839 But I'm not going to rag on my parents because 0:06:11.880 --> 0:06:14.200 like they were doing their best, but I didn't have 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:18.360 any tools. So my both, like my brothers and I 0:06:18.400 --> 0:06:20.359 got the same amount of a your older brother and 0:06:20.400 --> 0:06:23.800 a younger brother, and they both have houses in Sydney. 0:06:23.920 --> 0:06:25.280 They use that money to buy property. 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:29.000 Yeah, they're both in the other complication of my story 0:06:29.040 --> 0:06:31.680 I feel like is that they're both in a lot 0:06:31.720 --> 0:06:34.080 more of sort of a set path with their career. 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:37.039 I've had a bit more of like a PC journey. 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:40.559 I've really not known and I probably still don't fully 0:06:40.680 --> 0:06:43.559 know what I'm meant to be doing with my full 0:06:43.600 --> 0:06:47.320 time work. I love what I do currently, but I 0:06:47.400 --> 0:06:50.000 know that I don't have like a, oh, Brady's going 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:52.680 to be a banker or I'm a professional dancer. So 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:54.800 this is like roughly how much I'm going to be 0:06:54.839 --> 0:06:55.760 making You. 0:06:55.720 --> 0:07:00.000 Don't feel like you've got your career path necessarily at all? Yeah, 0:07:00.160 --> 0:07:00.960 but why should we? 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:06.160 It feels like really embarrassing to just be thirty and 0:07:06.200 --> 0:07:09.279 be like I have three jobs and people are shocked 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:12.400 when they find out how addim which is super flattering, 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:14.040 but like a lot of my friends are like twenty 0:07:14.040 --> 0:07:17.400 one studying psychology, Like it's just they've got this bow 0:07:17.760 --> 0:07:18.400 on that. 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:21.040 They seem to have it all sorted and you feel 0:07:21.040 --> 0:07:23.720 like you're, yeah, you're just treading water, keeping your head 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:24.800 above it. Yeah, And in a. 0:07:24.760 --> 0:07:27.480 Way I know that part of how because I've got 0:07:27.480 --> 0:07:30.160 three part time jobs, which I really enjoy all of them. 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:32.840 It's not one cohesive picture. If you ask me what 0:07:32.880 --> 0:07:35.120 I do, it doesn't really say I don't have an answer. 0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:37.360 For people when they ask me that, Well, yeah, can 0:07:37.400 --> 0:07:39.000 I just I've got so much to say about first 0:07:39.000 --> 0:07:41.160 of all, about the three jobs. To me, there is 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:43.880 no shame in that, and you're thinking about it the 0:07:43.880 --> 0:07:45.880 wrong way. You're thinking that you're a bit of a joke, 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:47.280 maybe a rid of a mess, and that you've got 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:48.000 three different. 0:07:47.800 --> 0:07:49.040 Jobs, exactly how I feel. 0:07:49.120 --> 0:07:52.520 But see, I don't think you're a freelancer. He can 0:07:52.600 --> 0:07:55.160 choose your contracts as to who you want to work 0:07:55.200 --> 0:07:58.400 for and when and on what terms and now on 0:07:58.480 --> 0:08:01.360 how much, And to me, you actually have complete control 0:08:01.840 --> 0:08:05.000 and flexibility in your life. And I think that sounds liberating. 0:08:05.720 --> 0:08:07.520 I don't think there's any shame in that. And this 0:08:07.600 --> 0:08:09.360 is the age that we work in now, is a 0:08:09.360 --> 0:08:11.400 lot of people are moving away from being on this 0:08:11.760 --> 0:08:13.440 one employer yes level. 0:08:13.480 --> 0:08:15.880 You know, I feel like I'm like the lab rat 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:19.720 for that kind of thinking, Like it's always been that 0:08:20.040 --> 0:08:22.440 for me, Like I never thought about UNI in high 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:25.040 school and even last year I tried to force myself 0:08:25.080 --> 0:08:28.000 into choosing a career of occupational therapy and I got 0:08:28.000 --> 0:08:30.440 to signing the dotted line of applying for UNI, and 0:08:30.480 --> 0:08:33.959 I realized I am so bored at the thought of that. 0:08:34.160 --> 0:08:35.000 I'm glad you. 0:08:35.080 --> 0:08:37.440 I'm glad I didn't do it, and I was I 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:40.400 called my mom and I was expecting her to be like, oh, variety, 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:43.480 but she was so empowering and she was just like, really, 0:08:43.520 --> 0:08:46.600 proud of you for being honest with yourself. And I'm like, really, 0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:48.800 because I'm dirty, and don't you just want me to 0:08:48.880 --> 0:08:49.600 like know? 0:08:49.760 --> 0:08:52.640 And I think what you're doing is great, Like I 0:08:52.679 --> 0:08:55.880 would be proud of you. I think you've got You're 0:08:55.920 --> 0:08:58.480 being authentic, You're being real to who you are. You 0:08:58.679 --> 0:09:01.000 know where you're bound, who are on, what works for 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:02.760 you and what doesn't. And you're not going to prescribe 0:09:02.760 --> 0:09:05.440 to this herd mentality of go to school, go to 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:08.960 university or some sort of tertiary qualification, which career path, 0:09:09.120 --> 0:09:10.960 and stick to that for the rest of your life. 0:09:11.000 --> 0:09:12.480 That to me sounds boring as bad shit. 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:13.280 Yeah it does. 0:09:13.520 --> 0:09:17.360 And if you look at any entrepreneur that has achieved something, 0:09:17.520 --> 0:09:19.839 so many of them have actually found their calling later 0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:23.840 in life in their forties, fifties, seventies, I think don't 0:09:23.920 --> 0:09:25.080 quote me on this, but if you look up the 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:28.120 story of Colonel Sanders, I think it is EMBITEDKFC. I 0:09:28.120 --> 0:09:31.040 think it was maybe in his sixties when really came 0:09:31.120 --> 0:09:34.080 up with the ingredients for Kentucky Frey chicken. And there's 0:09:34.200 --> 0:09:37.600 hundreds of these stories. I probably should have known about this, 0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:40.840 and I had some stats on me, godding, but obviously we're. 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:42.880 Just freaking going to give the things you see on 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:46.280 Instagram of like Oprah forty, Steve Carrell fifty. 0:09:46.480 --> 0:09:49.600 Yeah, there's so many stories like that. Who is the 0:09:49.960 --> 0:09:52.239 woman who is amazing? She used actually be a stockbroker 0:09:52.280 --> 0:09:55.560 working in finance and is now like kind of the 0:09:55.559 --> 0:09:59.520 housewife guru which works for Oprah. The name will come 0:09:59.520 --> 0:10:02.040 to me in a second, but she's a self made 0:10:02.120 --> 0:10:05.679 multimillionaire that hated her job in finance, was a stockbroker 0:10:05.720 --> 0:10:08.280 in New York, was actually quite successful, but her passion 0:10:08.360 --> 0:10:11.320 was actually decorating and designing homewordes and setting homes up 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:15.200 to be efficient and welcoming and you know, how to 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:17.800 get stains out of things. She's like, go to guru 0:10:17.840 --> 0:10:20.120 with those sorts of things. And she's sold books and 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:24.600 courses and amazing stories. So don't flick people's judgment. It's 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:26.199 the other thing I want to say about the money 0:10:26.200 --> 0:10:29.240 stuff in the inheritance. There is a lot to say 0:10:29.240 --> 0:10:32.960 for people who put inheritances in trust for adult children 0:10:33.760 --> 0:10:36.560 and only to be released once they become ready. 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:39.280 I think that was we had spoken about that. 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:41.520 Yeah, I mean you were very young. I would have 0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:44.280 blown that money even entering in you know, even being 0:10:44.280 --> 0:10:45.120 an investor at. 0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:48.120 That age ninety thos. I'm not talking like two hundred dollars. 0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:50.800 I think also, like where I might have a bit 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:53.240 of a poverty mentality was when you don't grow up 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:56.640 with a ton of money and you get some And 0:10:56.880 --> 0:11:00.079 no shade to my parents, but I think the thinking 0:11:00.120 --> 0:11:03.200 that I naturally just had in me was like this 0:11:03.280 --> 0:11:05.880 is your one shot, almost like I wasn't even deserving 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:09.400 to have this. I didn't earn it, so I was 0:11:09.520 --> 0:11:14.360 given this like thing of like, holy crap. It was 0:11:14.679 --> 0:11:18.320 every time there was spending, there was such deep guilt 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:20.640 because it was like, I'll spend, but this is my 0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:23.280 one shot. This is my one shot. So I remember 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:26.680 like those purchases just flying through my card and I 0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:29.840 just felt even like it pushed me further and further 0:11:29.920 --> 0:11:32.440 down into like basically what was a secret. I didn't 0:11:32.440 --> 0:11:35.000 tell my parents that I was spending it at the 0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:37.440 rate that I was, and I think we're spending, like 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:40.960 you really think your appetite is going to be satiated, 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:43.200 Like you think it's like food, Like I'll have a 0:11:43.200 --> 0:11:45.320 burger and I'll have chips and then i'm done. Like 0:11:45.400 --> 0:11:47.719 I'll buy that designer coat and then I'm good. I've 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:49.959 got one winter coat. I even tried to like buy 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:52.840 a capsule wardrobe, but it just kept going. Yeah, I 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:53.880 kept buying. 0:11:53.800 --> 0:11:54.600 A bottomless pit. 0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:57.640 A lot of the closet I bought, like I went 0:11:57.640 --> 0:11:59.560 on the real reel and I didn't even keep them 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:03.199 because then not even good purchases. So I was just spending. 0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:06.760 Okay, so an element of self worth, a complete lack 0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:10.880 of self worth, I would say, and then almost a 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:13.720 self destruction mode. Yeah, to almost get rid of the 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:15.880 money because you weren't worthy of it. So you had 0:12:16.000 --> 0:12:17.080 almost said to wash yourself. 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:19.600 It was like washing. Yeah, it was like washing it away. 0:12:19.679 --> 0:12:23.360 It was just and some of the purchases were truly justified, 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:26.360 like got a water filter, like things that I actually 0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:28.160 still have, but I know a lot of it was 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:30.920 just luxurious living. I'd be like, I'll go get a 0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:33.160 massage because I'm stressed, or like I'll go get my 0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:35.160 nails done because I've got this thing. There was always 0:12:35.160 --> 0:12:38.439 this running conversation in my mind of justification of why 0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:40.160 I was spending the money, and I remember my friends 0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:41.679 would be like, how do you have the money for that? 0:12:42.080 --> 0:12:42.880 Yeah, And I. 0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:45.280 Feel like I had this dirty secret that I was 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:45.840 like hiding. 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:46.600 It was bad. 0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:49.280 And asofce, bags just turned up at the house every day. 0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:52.040 Wow. I don't say wow to judge them, saying like, 0:12:52.080 --> 0:12:55.200 I have so many girlfriends. I've never inherited money, so 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:57.760 I don't know what it's like, but I have girlfriends 0:12:57.760 --> 0:13:00.400 who've done very very similar things, right, So you're not 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:04.400 alone with inheritance. Yes, absolutely, inheritance from grandparents and they've 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:06.319 lied to their parents about where that money has gone 0:13:07.320 --> 0:13:12.720 and then anonymous. But also you know, it's a lack 0:13:12.760 --> 0:13:15.880 of financial literacy. And some of those godfriends just drowning 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:18.200 in debt still today after receiving that money because it 0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:20.079 put them on a lifestyle creep where they had to 0:13:20.160 --> 0:13:23.240 keep up with it spending and then you know, all 0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:25.040 the inheritance burnt out, but then they still had this 0:13:25.120 --> 0:13:27.840 champagne taste, but no champagne money to pay for it anymore. 0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:30.000 So it continued on and then ended up in debt. 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:32.199 So I'm not judging at all my heart and she 0:13:32.280 --> 0:13:34.080 goes out to you, And the other thing I'll say 0:13:34.120 --> 0:13:36.920 is anything we hear from our parents or our partners, 0:13:37.040 --> 0:13:39.960 we get defensive because we don't like hearing from those people. 0:13:40.480 --> 0:13:43.040 If I had met you or someone who's neutral and 0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:45.280 not connected to your parents in any way and said 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:47.200 something to you, you're more likely to take it on 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:50.000 board than you are hearing it from a parent or 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:52.680 a partner. Like Tom will say something to me like, Ohkanna, 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:55.679 we should really paint that blue, and I'm like, no, yeah, 0:13:55.880 --> 0:13:59.480 so's not painting that. And then if pop over, you 0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:02.079 pop over and goes, hey, can you paint that wall blue? 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:04.800 Oh my god, what a cool idea to do that. 0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:08.600 We should totally paint this wall, and Tom goes mentally, 0:14:09.160 --> 0:14:11.680 it's the same things. We don't want to hear advice 0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:14.000 from our partners sometimes or our parents. 0:14:14.200 --> 0:14:17.440 We kind of a reminder of like the yuckiness that 0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:21.200 I experienced as a kid with money, So I even 0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:23.960 being in that space, I didn't want to like open up. 0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:26.800 Of course, of course, and it's also money that's come 0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:29.200 out of a loss and grief, and grief is very 0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:30.320 complicated as well. 0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:32.960 And to add to that, like the one shot sort 0:14:33.000 --> 0:14:35.320 of like this is you could get the house with this, 0:14:35.400 --> 0:14:37.960 so you could, like the pressure say that, Oh, the 0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:41.480 pressure was probably the thing that I can remember feeling 0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:43.600 the most. I still feel a little bit of it. 0:14:43.680 --> 0:14:45.480 I've still got some of it left, so like. 0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:47.440 But we'll talk about that in a second, because we 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:49.440 want to work out where you should get started to 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:52.560 get back on track and make up for lost time. 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:54.960 But I mean, what you were saying is not uncommon 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:58.760 at all, and at different levels of severity in different situations. 0:14:58.840 --> 0:15:01.520 You're not alone. But my heart really goes out to 0:15:01.520 --> 0:15:05.320 you because the pressure on someone so young, you have 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:08.800 no understanding about money and how money is built, how 0:15:08.840 --> 0:15:12.880 money is protected, how money needs to be used in 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:16.400 a sensible wise intelligent wafers can therefore be sustainable and 0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:20.000 you can actually leverage further off that beautiful financial blessing. 0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:22.920 It would have actually been really quite horrible. Yeah, And 0:15:23.200 --> 0:15:25.320 I would almost get that if I was in your situation, 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:28.920 I almost would have almost like a detest of money 0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:31.640 because it would just be a reminder of the past. 0:15:31.720 --> 0:15:35.680 Yeah, the resistance I have towards budgeting, I just shut down. 0:15:35.760 --> 0:15:37.840 Like when my friends are talking about money, I feel 0:15:37.880 --> 0:15:41.360 so much anxiety, like they're talking about this holiday and 0:15:41.440 --> 0:15:45.040 I just freeze. Yeah, because I feel like I blew it. 0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:46.920 I could have. I don't know what I could have, 0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:48.800 but it feels a bit like damned if I do, 0:15:48.880 --> 0:15:51.000 damned if I don't. Because there was actually a guy 0:15:51.080 --> 0:15:54.080 that my friend's dad who I opened up to about 0:15:54.120 --> 0:15:57.280 all this, and he was like, right, lock that money away, 0:15:57.440 --> 0:16:00.280 you're buying a property. And I just never did anything 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:03.160 with the advice. I was scared to lose that little 0:16:03.400 --> 0:16:07.200 back up, but scared to not do anything as well. 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:09.880 So I froze. And that freezing meant that money just 0:16:09.960 --> 0:16:13.440 sat there and I just kept picking away over the years, 0:16:13.480 --> 0:16:15.680 so I had access to it for like, you know, 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:16.720 eleven years now. 0:16:16.840 --> 0:16:20.640 So okay, tell me what you did with the money 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:23.240 and we'll move on then to what like because I 0:16:23.240 --> 0:16:25.560 don't want to, like, you know, we need to acknowledge 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:27.800 the past, Yeah, but we also need to make peace 0:16:27.800 --> 0:16:31.080 of the past so we can make the space for prosperity. 0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:34.400 So where did this money go? Like, what did you do? 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:35.200 Did you travel? 0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:39.880 I did. I lived in Mexico for two years. 0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:40.760 Wow. 0:16:40.880 --> 0:16:43.400 I did volunteering, so I actually had to pay to live. 0:16:43.960 --> 0:16:44.320 Wow. 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:46.400 And that was honestly so fulfilling. 0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:49.680 Like I know, tell me a little bit about that. Yeah. 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:52.680 I just had like a really like high school was 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:54.640 really tough. There was stuff going on in my family. 0:16:55.400 --> 0:16:58.680 I had an awful breakup and I wanted to get 0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:00.800 out of Sydney. I had like a bit of a 0:17:00.840 --> 0:17:04.240 spiritual awakening and I met some people who were doing 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:07.200 like volunteer programs. This program that runs around the world 0:17:07.240 --> 0:17:09.679 and you can basically go pay to live at a 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:12.959 location anyone that you choose. They have bases in basically 0:17:13.040 --> 0:17:16.240 all countries and just to like serve the local area. 0:17:16.359 --> 0:17:19.359 So I went to Tijuana, Mexico, where we were feeding 0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:22.160 the homeless. We were looking after the girls that worked 0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:24.640 in the red light district as young as like five 0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:27.840 years old. Seeing like young girls get sold. It was 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:29.000 quite dangerous at times. 0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:29.639 Wow. 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:34.960 We were doing little day courses daycare for the kids 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:36.879 of the people who worked in the red light districts. 0:17:36.920 --> 0:17:38.880 So the pimps would like come and drop their kids 0:17:38.920 --> 0:17:41.960 off to our daycare. You're just like talking to tijuan 0:17:42.000 --> 0:17:44.160 as big ast like drug cartel guys, and they're coming 0:17:44.160 --> 0:17:46.840 and giving like little Huan to me for the day 0:17:46.920 --> 0:17:50.679 and we're like playing skipping and doing Bible stories and 0:17:50.680 --> 0:17:53.879 building homes for families that didn't have them. So like 0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:57.800 it was obviously you think I'm a saint. I did that. 0:17:57.840 --> 0:18:00.600 It was a beautiful decision. I'm really glad I meant decision. 0:18:00.920 --> 0:18:04.119 I was running away from pain, from my family and 0:18:04.200 --> 0:18:07.120 from a breakup. So I came back from Mexico after 0:18:07.160 --> 0:18:10.639 that just under two years and pain wasn't gone. So 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:14.720 I also just like moved to Byron for two years. 0:18:14.840 --> 0:18:17.399 So I went and just lived with my friends in Byron. 0:18:17.480 --> 0:18:21.000 It was stunning, beautiful. And then I got back from Byron. 0:18:21.119 --> 0:18:23.040 Still didn't want to be confined to Sydney, so I 0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:25.280 went and lived in Darwin and I did a bit 0:18:25.280 --> 0:18:28.119 of volunteer work up there as well. And I was 0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:29.920 a makeup artist at the time, so I was working 0:18:29.960 --> 0:18:32.399 on like the ABC News and that was really fun. 0:18:32.560 --> 0:18:34.560 And then like I lived in Brisbane for a bit 0:18:34.600 --> 0:18:37.760 because I just like I just didn't care to come 0:18:37.800 --> 0:18:39.520 back to Sydney and get into a nine to five. 0:18:39.560 --> 0:18:42.359