WEBVTT - Everything Awhina Couldn't Say... Until Now (Full Interview)

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, and welcome back to The Maths Funny Podcast with

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<v Speaker 1>me Joshua Fox, And welcome to the first episode of

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<v Speaker 1>what I'm going to call The Aftermaths, where I'll sit

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<v Speaker 1>down with cast members one by one to unpack the season,

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<v Speaker 1>find out all the things they're now only able to

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<v Speaker 1>reveal now the show's over, and also ask them, yo,

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<v Speaker 1>what's next? And I hope you like the name the

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<v Speaker 1>after Maths, as in the after math little playing words

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<v Speaker 1>for you there, and you know, the word after math

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<v Speaker 1>is also defined in the Dictionary as the consequences or

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<v Speaker 1>after effects of a significant, unpleasant event, which sounds about

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<v Speaker 1>right to be honest, doesn't it. Anyway, my first sit

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<v Speaker 1>down was only ever going to be with the queen

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<v Speaker 1>of the season in my eyes, Athena. With these chats,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not aiming to change anyone's minds, but what I

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<v Speaker 1>will say is, if you're one of the people who's

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<v Speaker 1>been saying things like why did Athena stay so long?

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<v Speaker 1>She's just as bad as Adrian for staying so long,

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<v Speaker 1>why did she change your mind? Or if you're wanted

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<v Speaker 1>the people who've been questioning her as a mother, which

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<v Speaker 1>I don't agree with, where it's been like, why would

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<v Speaker 1>she leave a son for so along? She never saw

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<v Speaker 1>a sun. I just want to say this chat will

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<v Speaker 1>give a lot more context to things that we didn't

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<v Speaker 1>see in TV that will answer some of those questions. Enjoy, Hello,

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<v Speaker 1>and welcome back to the Mathspony podcast. I'm very excited

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<v Speaker 1>about today's episode because I'm joined by my favorite braid

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<v Speaker 1>of the season.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't lie there.

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<v Speaker 1>I've been saying that on the podcast every week, so

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<v Speaker 1>obviously not listen.

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<v Speaker 2>I haven't been listening to all. I listened to your

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<v Speaker 2>one with my ex husband. Oh yeah, you had him

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<v Speaker 2>on the pod before me. To be honest, it was

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<v Speaker 2>quite hilarious, especially the part where he rang and I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't answer.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, cheers, cheers. Okay, right, so we we're in Sydney.

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<v Speaker 1>It's finally over, and you are a free woman.

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<v Speaker 2>I am a free woman finally.

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<v Speaker 1>I am so happy for you that you're now just

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<v Speaker 1>you've seen the light.

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<v Speaker 2>I saw the light a long time.

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<v Speaker 1>Well you know, he saw the light. Then you went.

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<v Speaker 2>Lot of rose colored glasses on there. No, I I

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<v Speaker 2>saw some of the light.

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<v Speaker 1>Some Okay, well let's let's rewind and go back to

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<v Speaker 1>we've just watched the reunion episode. You and Adrian I

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<v Speaker 1>both arrived separately, and it's done for good, and then

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<v Speaker 1>it's done. He's kind of flipped the script on you.

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<v Speaker 1>Is like you never shown an interest in his business.

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<v Speaker 1>You called him stupid.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, was I wrong there to call him stupid? No,

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<v Speaker 2>If I'm being very honest, throughout the experiment, I showed

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<v Speaker 2>so much interest in Adrian's life. He if you actually

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<v Speaker 2>watch back the episodes, I'm consistently wearing his Sweet Sunday's merch.

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<v Speaker 2>He was always caught out for very place. I did

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<v Speaker 2>product placement all the time, because they would recognize when

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<v Speaker 2>he wore it and he would get told to take

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<v Speaker 2>it off. They never recognized when I slipped through his

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<v Speaker 2>product on. Not only that, I told him ideas throughout

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<v Speaker 2>the experiment, like hey, when you bake this, let's film

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<v Speaker 2>the cast now so that you can have those reactions

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<v Speaker 2>live next. Yuh when this is all trending, I was

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<v Speaker 2>constantly bouncing back on.

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<v Speaker 1>His business manager.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, you know, when I'm dating someone, I want to

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<v Speaker 2>show interest in everything they do. So this is the

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<v Speaker 2>direction he wanted to go. So it's like, if this

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<v Speaker 2>is his direction, I'm going to help him go full

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<v Speaker 2>steam ahead. That's high shot for a partner, but it

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<v Speaker 2>was just everything. So I did have an interest in

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<v Speaker 2>his business because it was for my partner in that

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<v Speaker 2>same kind of context. I don't think he asked me

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<v Speaker 2>once any questions about myself. And I think when you're

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<v Speaker 2>so giving, you naturally just think the relationship is almost

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<v Speaker 2>both ways because you're showing up in every way so

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<v Speaker 2>things work well.

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<v Speaker 1>My perception is you wanted it to work so badly

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<v Speaker 1>that you maybe were blind to red flags and certain behaviors.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think with what everyone kind of forgets is

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<v Speaker 2>that I'm in an experiment. I'm in an environment where

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<v Speaker 2>I'm in these apartments with a partner that I didn't choose.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm kind of there and I'm going, well, why

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<v Speaker 2>will we partner to get together?

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<v Speaker 1>This is my part to be something there?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, there has to be something. So I'm showing up

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<v Speaker 2>how I would naturally for a partner. So I'm still

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<v Speaker 2>trying to get to know who Adrine is to his core.

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<v Speaker 2>He doesn't know me yet. He doesn't have to show

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<v Speaker 2>up as a partner yet, so I'm giving him the

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<v Speaker 2>benefit of the doubt to get to know me and

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<v Speaker 2>you know, put in the work that I'm putting in,

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<v Speaker 2>and like, you know, we've given up a lot to

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<v Speaker 2>be here. Let's let's try. And I felt like I

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<v Speaker 2>was the only one trying consistently, and it was just

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<v Speaker 2>really hard for me to kind of go, when do

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<v Speaker 2>you kind of draw the lines when there's so many

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<v Speaker 2>more layers than everyone else has seen, Like you've got production,

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<v Speaker 2>you've got other cast members like cast members, but you know,

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<v Speaker 2>applicants or whatever participants, You've got so many layers. And

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<v Speaker 2>also when you're that cut because I never watched the

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<v Speaker 2>show before, when you're that one in a relationship where

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<v Speaker 2>it is tumultuous, it's scary because you go to these

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<v Speaker 2>commitment ceremonies and you're open, you're exposing yourself to the group,

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<v Speaker 2>and you're opening yourself up to criticism. And everyone online's

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<v Speaker 2>only seeing criticism towards Adrian. What they haven't shown is

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<v Speaker 2>all the criticism that I also received whilst.

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<v Speaker 1>In the experiment from the experts.

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<v Speaker 2>The experts, from other applicants.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh really, yeah, what were you being criticized for? Because

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<v Speaker 1>you kind of gave this everything.

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<v Speaker 2>So in those early few commitment ceremonies, I addressed a

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<v Speaker 2>few times where I didn't think Adrian I were compatible,

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<v Speaker 2>and I essentially had the experts, because they're not seen

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<v Speaker 2>behind closed doors, put that back onto me and say,

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<v Speaker 2>Adriane isn't showing up because I'm pushing him away by

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<v Speaker 2>using language like we're not compatible, I'm essentially saying you're

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<v Speaker 2>not good enough for me, and so why would Adrian

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<v Speaker 2>show up?

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<v Speaker 1>So?

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<v Speaker 2>And then also I had a few of the other

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<v Speaker 2>girls when I brought up issues to them off camera

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<v Speaker 2>where I said, hey, I think I want to go

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<v Speaker 2>home again. I was received with that same kind of

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<v Speaker 2>feedback where it's like, you're not giving Adrian a chance.

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<v Speaker 2>Adrian's a soulful man, Adrian's given up to a lot

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<v Speaker 2>to be here. You should give him a chance. It's unfair.

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<v Speaker 2>Because X y Z left the experiment and then Elliott

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<v Speaker 2>leaving the experiment almost was like this big scary story

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<v Speaker 2>because you watched how much people ripped him to shreds

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<v Speaker 2>when he wasn't in a room to defend himself. And

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<v Speaker 2>now we all saw how that played out afterwards. Lauren

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't that great, but in that moment when Elliott wasn't there,

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<v Speaker 2>he got ripped to shreds. I thought, oh my god,

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<v Speaker 2>am I not only did I not get the love

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<v Speaker 2>of my life, I'm also going to be this villain,

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<v Speaker 2>this bad person for not trying.

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<v Speaker 1>So it's almost in those moments you thought, actually, this

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<v Speaker 1>isn't gonna work you. Like Pear pressured.

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<v Speaker 2>Everyone, I felt peer pressured, but not only that. Like

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<v Speaker 2>I recognized very early on, there was a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>characteristics within Adrian that I would never want for a

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<v Speaker 2>life partner. Now, I if I saw a future with Adrian,

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<v Speaker 2>a real future, he would have met my son. Like

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<v Speaker 2>I went in there for a life partner and I

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<v Speaker 2>got a child. I got a.

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<v Speaker 1>Child, second child.

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<v Speaker 2>I got a second child. Now the issue with that

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<v Speaker 2>is you can blame peer pressure, and you can blame

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<v Speaker 2>the experts and production. When I did choose to stay,

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<v Speaker 2>even though there were so many layers to that decision,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm spending a lot of time with this man. Intimately,

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<v Speaker 2>we're together five days a week without the rest of

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<v Speaker 2>the group. We're in an apartment on top of each other. Naturally,

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<v Speaker 2>feelings are going to develop, and I did kind of develop,

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<v Speaker 2>like this care for Adrian, where I would keep seeing

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<v Speaker 2>a child do the wrong thing, and I wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>keep helping him, and I just I couldn't remove like

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<v Speaker 2>the child from the man. I kept seeing this child

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<v Speaker 2>who needed my help.

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<v Speaker 1>And then, well, my understanding is as the season progressed

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<v Speaker 1>and it became clear Adrian was going to be a villain,

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<v Speaker 1>that you almost felt protective, right, and you're like, you're

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<v Speaker 1>staying more than you would have because you want to.

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<v Speaker 2>I was genuinely protecting him, even at that last moment

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<v Speaker 2>in Final Vows where everyone thinks I stayed to get laid.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't even have sex that night. There was no intimacy.

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<v Speaker 2>We were never intimate again after that last dinner party

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<v Speaker 2>ever again. But I almost felt like if we stayed together,

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<v Speaker 2>they're going to show us better moments and not the

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<v Speaker 2>worst moments that I saw. Still in those last moments,

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<v Speaker 2>I was still trying to protect him.

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<v Speaker 1>And even so, just to go back to Valentine's Day,

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<v Speaker 1>when we first met at that girl's lunch and then

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<v Speaker 1>you obviously kind of snuck out early because Adrian was

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<v Speaker 1>picking you up, and I said to you, don't do it.

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<v Speaker 1>You said, Adrian's picking me up. Then I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>why are you doing this? Like I know that you're

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<v Speaker 1>over you owe him nothing. And I was like, I

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<v Speaker 1>can say I was like mad for you, mad at you,

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<v Speaker 1>but obviously I didn't know you. But I was just

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<v Speaker 1>upset as well that I still felt like you had

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<v Speaker 1>a hold of you.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll still I'll be very honest like at that point,

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<v Speaker 2>I kept our communication channel open for him, not for me,

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<v Speaker 2>because I knew how hard it would be for him

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<v Speaker 2>watching it play out, and not because he's getting a

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<v Speaker 2>smack to the face with reality. I it'd be hard

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<v Speaker 2>for him because the backlash he would receive because he

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<v Speaker 2>perceived himself as this big, amazing guy and he kept

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<v Speaker 2>villifying me at any turn, and I knew the reality

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<v Speaker 2>would smack him in the face and again silling me.

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<v Speaker 2>I wanted to be like, hey, are you okay? And

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<v Speaker 2>at Valentine's Day was a time where one hundred percent

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<v Speaker 2>of the audience didn't like Adrian and one hundred percent

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<v Speaker 2>of the audience were in support of me. So if

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<v Speaker 2>I was seen with Adrian, Adrian, even if I could

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<v Speaker 2>just take ten percent of that heat away from him

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<v Speaker 2>and then add that ten percent towards me, I could

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<v Speaker 2>handle that.

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<v Speaker 1>But then there was obviously that was February fourteen, for

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<v Speaker 1>now were the start of April, and now he's blocked Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>well yeah what changed since then?

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<v Speaker 2>What's changed is again, like the experiment, I kept offering

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<v Speaker 2>this man lifelines, and it was always, you know, he

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<v Speaker 2>would receive that lifeline, happy, get what he wants from me,

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<v Speaker 2>and then a couple of days later take out his

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<v Speaker 2>frustrations on me. I'm not your partner anymore. I'm barely

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<v Speaker 2>your friend at this moment. I'm trying to establish boundaries

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<v Speaker 2>and you were just knocking them over. I don't have

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<v Speaker 2>to tolerate that.

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<v Speaker 1>It gives frustrations that you like when he's getting slammed

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<v Speaker 1>on the shower in the media.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well, in the media slams him when something happens

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<v Speaker 2>on you know, the show that he doesn't agree with.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm always is outlet. It's like, this is your fault.

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<v Speaker 2>You've done this, You've done that. There's never any accountability.

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<v Speaker 2>It's never going Hey hang on a minute, I'm probably

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<v Speaker 2>you know I could have handled that situation differently. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>really sorry. It was just like the edit. You you

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<v Speaker 2>you I'm always going to be the bad guy in

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<v Speaker 2>Adrian's story. And I said to myself. You know what

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<v Speaker 2>a fine Now you're always gonna be the bad guy

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<v Speaker 2>in his story. You don't need him. He needs you, yes,

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<v Speaker 2>And he's literally offered you zero kindness from how much

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<v Speaker 2>support you've offered him. It's always just attack, attack, And

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<v Speaker 2>I don't need this, like I really don't. And at

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<v Speaker 2>one point you kind of have to be like, he's

0:11:03.920 --> 0:11:06.280
<v Speaker 2>not a child anymore, he's an adult, and I'm done.

0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:09.400
<v Speaker 2>So I blocked him on all platforms. I blocked him

0:11:10.720 --> 0:11:12.720
<v Speaker 2>that day. I blocked him, and then he added me

0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:16.600
<v Speaker 2>on Snapchat. I blocked him on Snapchat and now he's

0:11:16.600 --> 0:11:21.960
<v Speaker 2>added beyond TikTok, so I haven't mate. If I had

0:11:22.000 --> 0:11:23.840
<v Speaker 2>a LinkedIn, he probably would have added me on that.

0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:27.480
<v Speaker 2>But I also think another reason why this is my

0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:30.720
<v Speaker 2>naughty reason. I think I also kept the channel open.

0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:37.000
<v Speaker 2>Adrian's relentless. He's like Jackie, you know, relentless. So I

0:11:37.040 --> 0:11:40.000
<v Speaker 2>knew his frustrations would be online where he would then

0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:44.000
<v Speaker 2>kind of push his narrative, get in front of the

0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:47.040
<v Speaker 2>story and kind of paint me in a negative light

0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:49.040
<v Speaker 2>like he did in the experiment. No one else saw

0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:50.760
<v Speaker 2>that because it wasn't shown, but there were so many

0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:54.000
<v Speaker 2>times where I would address concerns and it would be

0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:56.199
<v Speaker 2>deflected back onto me and I would be made for

0:11:56.360 --> 0:11:58.240
<v Speaker 2>like the bad guy. And I almost felt like it

0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:00.839
<v Speaker 2>was going to happen now because I don't have a voice,

0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:03.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't have an online platform. I'm not rogue like

0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:07.839
<v Speaker 2>he is on every social media channel, uploading a million tiktoks,

0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:10.120
<v Speaker 2>his brother as well. So I thought, if I can

0:12:10.320 --> 0:12:14.640
<v Speaker 2>you offer him some kindness, maybe he wouldn't be attacking

0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:18.600
<v Speaker 2>my character daily. But even with the kindness towards him,

0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:20.719
<v Speaker 2>he was still attacking me. So it's like, why am

0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:21.640
<v Speaker 2>I helping this guy?

0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:23.720
<v Speaker 1>I just need to cut him off for good because he's.

0:12:23.640 --> 0:12:27.040
<v Speaker 2>Still commenting about me, his family, his sisters, his dad,

0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:29.880
<v Speaker 2>even it's fake fan pages.

0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:32.960
<v Speaker 1>I think for me watching it, it was that commitment

0:12:33.000 --> 0:12:36.120
<v Speaker 1>ceremony where someone else is on the phone, he's whispering

0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:38.240
<v Speaker 1>to you, kind of telling you what you can and

0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:40.480
<v Speaker 1>can't say, and that to me, we knew it was

0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:42.319
<v Speaker 1>a bad relationship when I wasn't a fan of aging,

0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:44.520
<v Speaker 1>but to me that was like next level. And I

0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:47.440
<v Speaker 1>was reading people to find that as coercive control, which

0:12:47.480 --> 0:12:50.080
<v Speaker 1>I personally don't know much about, having no experience of that,

0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:53.480
<v Speaker 1>But did you ever feel like he was controlling in

0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:53.800
<v Speaker 1>that way?

0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:56.800
<v Speaker 2>There was so many moments throughout the experiment, almost every

0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:59.880
<v Speaker 2>dinner party, commitment ceremony where back in our room no

0:13:00.040 --> 0:13:03.240
<v Speaker 2>cameras on, where he would be like, you should say this,

0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:04.800
<v Speaker 2>and you should say that, and you shouldn't be saying that.

0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:07.480
<v Speaker 2>You're gonna look bad for saying this, You're gonna look this,

0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:10.440
<v Speaker 2>and the language Adrian would always use towards me as

0:13:10.480 --> 0:13:12.920
<v Speaker 2>when we would leave a dinner party, commitment ceremony, even

0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:15.520
<v Speaker 2>production agrees with me, your behavior in there was wrong.

0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:18.960
<v Speaker 2>Even production agrees no one listened to me. Even production

0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:22.400
<v Speaker 2>agrees your sister was in the wrong at friends and family,

0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:25.600
<v Speaker 2>So it was never just himself. The language he would

0:13:25.600 --> 0:13:28.160
<v Speaker 2>always use against me was like a collective like group.

0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:30.800
<v Speaker 2>He really isolated me because there were so many moments

0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:34.320
<v Speaker 2>I would leave an experience with Adrian and I would

0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:36.160
<v Speaker 2>think I'm the bad guy because he would use that

0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:39.240
<v Speaker 2>collective language. Now I didn't have a relationship with production,

0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:44.360
<v Speaker 2>but I always saw Adrian laughing, joking, high fiving production,

0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:47.320
<v Speaker 2>like manipulating that they were all good mates, and I

0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:49.640
<v Speaker 2>felt like I was on the outside, you know, had

0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:53.239
<v Speaker 2>them all on Instagram. I didn't have anyone on Instagram.

0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:56.800
<v Speaker 2>You know. He spoke to ex applicants. I didn't. I

0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:59.640
<v Speaker 2>had zero connection to this maths world. So I felt

0:13:59.640 --> 0:14:01.440
<v Speaker 2>like I was on the outside. I felt like I

0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:04.280
<v Speaker 2>was Adrian's wife, like.

0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:06.120
<v Speaker 1>Not a participant. You were like ys plus one.

0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:08.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I felt like there were so many opportunities

0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:12.679
<v Speaker 2>where I recognized poor behavior, but I was like, oh

0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:15.679
<v Speaker 2>my god, his behavior is wrong, and I'm trying to

0:14:15.720 --> 0:14:17.880
<v Speaker 2>defend myself, but they're going to make it out like

0:14:17.920 --> 0:14:20.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm the bad guy, because he was always making me

0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:22.200
<v Speaker 2>feel like I was a bad guy by the end

0:14:22.240 --> 0:14:24.960
<v Speaker 2>of it. And there was moments in the experiment where

0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:27.840
<v Speaker 2>Jamie always stood up for me. She always stood on business,

0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:31.200
<v Speaker 2>but it was always just Jamie. So when we would

0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:34.160
<v Speaker 2>leave a dinner party and he was definitely in the wrong,

0:14:35.520 --> 0:14:38.240
<v Speaker 2>he would leave it and go, see how only Jamie

0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:40.360
<v Speaker 2>stood up for you, because if you were in the right,

0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:42.760
<v Speaker 2>that everyone would have you were in the wrong. And

0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:46.000
<v Speaker 2>I would leave there going, well, why didn't more people

0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:48.480
<v Speaker 2>stand up for me? Then maybe I am in the wrong.

0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:52.560
<v Speaker 2>Maybe I am, and I would question myself because again

0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:54.320
<v Speaker 2>that collective language.

0:14:54.000 --> 0:14:57.440
<v Speaker 1>Would were essentially manipulated everywhere because producers do that to

0:14:57.480 --> 0:15:00.320
<v Speaker 1>an extent, the experts do because theyre following a storyline.

0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:02.320
<v Speaker 1>But then to have that behind the scenes in your

0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:05.200
<v Speaker 1>room when like that's a vulnerable at the very small rooms.

0:15:05.360 --> 0:15:07.120
<v Speaker 2>It's just we had the smallest room too.

0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:07.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:09.920
<v Speaker 2>So other people had two bedroom apartments, they had like

0:15:10.040 --> 0:15:13.160
<v Speaker 2>external bathrooms they had We had the smallest room in

0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:16.080
<v Speaker 2>the experiment. I could touch my kitchen from my bed.

0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:19.840
<v Speaker 1>That's I don't know. I feel like I had no space.

0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:21.600
<v Speaker 1>I feel like everyone just failed you in a way

0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:23.320
<v Speaker 1>that you should have had more support. You should have

0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:24.520
<v Speaker 1>had people going that's not okay.

0:15:24.920 --> 0:15:28.120
<v Speaker 2>And you know the commitment ceremony where I wrote stay

0:15:28.160 --> 0:15:31.120
<v Speaker 2>and all of Australia gassed. Yeah, and it was just

0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:33.360
<v Speaker 2>like this big thing because everyone was expecting me to leave.

0:15:33.960 --> 0:15:37.560
<v Speaker 2>I actually had a therapy session during that commitment ceremony

0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:41.840
<v Speaker 2>with the private with a private therapist that and Mole

0:15:42.000 --> 0:15:45.240
<v Speaker 2>had like obviously employed to them. I we have breaks

0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:48.600
<v Speaker 2>in between filming, and I literally had like a therapy session.

0:15:48.320 --> 0:15:49.720
<v Speaker 1>Because you were struggling so much.

0:15:49.920 --> 0:15:52.840
<v Speaker 2>I struggled right after like I start on that couch

0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:56.320
<v Speaker 2>and I one hundred and ten percent regretted my decision.

0:15:58.240 --> 0:16:00.760
<v Speaker 2>I actually felt like in that couch that in I

0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:04.880
<v Speaker 2>was questioned more than Adrian was. It is an aired,

0:16:05.080 --> 0:16:06.760
<v Speaker 2>but I was made to feel like I was in

0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:07.200
<v Speaker 2>the wrong.

0:16:08.760 --> 0:16:10.640
<v Speaker 1>So instead of producing saying okay, well you can see

0:16:10.640 --> 0:16:13.200
<v Speaker 1>you're quite distressed, we can see you regret your decision.

0:16:13.280 --> 0:16:15.520
<v Speaker 1>You don't actually have to stay. That is when I

0:16:15.720 --> 0:16:16.920
<v Speaker 1>chat to the focist.

0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:20.920
<v Speaker 2>I was crying in another room, like crying in tears.

0:16:20.560 --> 0:16:23.000
<v Speaker 1>Like and this is the stuff for yous don't see

0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:24.840
<v Speaker 1>and they've been gone. Why is it fin and gone back?

0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:27.440
<v Speaker 1>Why did she at the final of ours say let's

0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:29.760
<v Speaker 1>hang out? But it's all these little things add to

0:16:29.760 --> 0:16:30.920
<v Speaker 1>that decision.

0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:32.680
<v Speaker 2>And everyone goes, well, you know what, then you were

0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:35.040
<v Speaker 2>intimate with him again afterwards, and then you and then

0:16:35.080 --> 0:16:37.920
<v Speaker 2>you guys were you know, getting along. And it's like

0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:40.080
<v Speaker 2>when you're made to feel like the bad guy, when

0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:42.600
<v Speaker 2>you're made to feel like friends and family. Your sister

0:16:42.640 --> 0:16:45.000
<v Speaker 2>could lose her job if it's edited a certain way,

0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:48.440
<v Speaker 2>because my twin sister was so worried should lose her job.

0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:52.720
<v Speaker 2>If you sit there and everyone doesn't know who to

0:16:52.840 --> 0:16:55.880
<v Speaker 2>kind of believe because you guys are watching it from

0:16:55.880 --> 0:16:57.880
<v Speaker 2>a outside spectrum, and you're seeing behind closed doors, but

0:16:58.160 --> 0:17:00.680
<v Speaker 2>everyone else doesn't know what's going on. It's he, she said.

0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:02.680
<v Speaker 2>And at this point, Adrian was a life for the party.

0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:06.400
<v Speaker 2>Adrian was everyone's friend. He was in the group chats,

0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:10.679
<v Speaker 2>he was facetiming everyone. I wasn't that close with everyone

0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:14.679
<v Speaker 2>at this point, and it was almost easier when he

0:17:14.720 --> 0:17:16.840
<v Speaker 2>and I got on. It was easier. I didn't I

0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:19.239
<v Speaker 2>didn't have this weight on my chest. I was like,

0:17:19.280 --> 0:17:22.240
<v Speaker 2>maybe just make it work a fena And then naturally

0:17:22.280 --> 0:17:26.399
<v Speaker 2>after that, I had a better time when I just

0:17:26.600 --> 0:17:30.720
<v Speaker 2>dropped every issue, stopped worrying about my needs, and just

0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:32.479
<v Speaker 2>looked at it as like something to just kind of

0:17:32.520 --> 0:17:38.000
<v Speaker 2>get through, And then it was easier. We're not being funny.

0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:43.000
<v Speaker 2>I know you want it the thing that make.

0:17:42.960 --> 0:17:45.159
<v Speaker 1>Me Okay, well we both need a drink, we'll just

0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:45.760
<v Speaker 1>take a second.

0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:50.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, shit, this is getting deep.

0:17:50.920 --> 0:17:53.439
<v Speaker 1>Well, no, it's just And the reason I say you're

0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:56.280
<v Speaker 1>my favorite Brider is because I think it sounds stupid,

0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:58.320
<v Speaker 1>but I see a lot of what I've been through

0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:01.679
<v Speaker 1>kind of in you, where I've stayed in relationships that

0:18:01.720 --> 0:18:04.320
<v Speaker 1>I knew were not good because you think maybe that's

0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:06.240
<v Speaker 1>what you deserve or what you're worth. And I know

0:18:06.280 --> 0:18:09.840
<v Speaker 1>you came out of a fourteen year relationship straight into that,

0:18:09.880 --> 0:18:11.800
<v Speaker 1>And like when my marriage ended a few years ago,

0:18:12.520 --> 0:18:14.919
<v Speaker 1>I would jump into anything after that, thinking, Okay, I

0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:16.640
<v Speaker 1>can make this work. You know, I've got someone again.

0:18:16.680 --> 0:18:19.199
<v Speaker 1>And like when my marriage ended, I felt like a

0:18:19.200 --> 0:18:22.199
<v Speaker 1>failure as a person. And then I was desperate to

0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:25.400
<v Speaker 1>like fast forward to being in love with somebody else,

0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:28.320
<v Speaker 1>and I when I see you stay and stuff, Obviously,

0:18:28.400 --> 0:18:30.719
<v Speaker 1>I know you've got all these levels of manipulation from everyone,

0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:33.240
<v Speaker 1>But then I just saw a woman who just wanted.

0:18:33.960 --> 0:18:36.320
<v Speaker 2>Don't get me wrong, I love love and I love

0:18:36.359 --> 0:18:39.800
<v Speaker 2>affection like I genuinely think I shop from my partners

0:18:39.800 --> 0:18:42.679
<v Speaker 2>with all five love languages, and I'm very affectionate, Like

0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:45.480
<v Speaker 2>I will cuddle and kiss all my friends like I'm

0:18:45.520 --> 0:18:46.679
<v Speaker 2>on top of them. I'm you.

0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:48.600
<v Speaker 1>Literally, when we saw each other a second, you jumped

0:18:48.600 --> 0:18:51.200
<v Speaker 1>on it in hotel loving and everyone's looking around, like

0:18:51.880 --> 0:18:52.720
<v Speaker 1>so affectionate.

0:18:52.800 --> 0:18:56.760
<v Speaker 2>That is me. I'm affectionate, but I will be very honest.

0:18:57.000 --> 0:19:00.720
<v Speaker 2>I didn't think Adrian deserved me within the experiment. That's

0:19:00.760 --> 0:19:03.520
<v Speaker 2>how I was able to kind of leave that experience

0:19:03.600 --> 0:19:06.800
<v Speaker 2>with kind of my head held high going. I deserved better,

0:19:07.040 --> 0:19:10.960
<v Speaker 2>but I knew better during the experiment. It was just scary.

0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:13.600
<v Speaker 2>It was really hard, and I felt like I was

0:19:13.680 --> 0:19:15.920
<v Speaker 2>made to feel like I was letting people down. If

0:19:15.920 --> 0:19:18.120
<v Speaker 2>I was leaving, If I left, I let people down.

0:19:18.200 --> 0:19:22.560
<v Speaker 2>There was so much layers to that, but I left going,

0:19:22.760 --> 0:19:24.640
<v Speaker 2>you know what, we can still be friends. We did

0:19:24.640 --> 0:19:28.240
<v Speaker 2>this experience together. There is a care there and there

0:19:28.240 --> 0:19:32.119
<v Speaker 2>are feelings, but those feelings never progressed past surface level.

0:19:32.680 --> 0:19:36.480
<v Speaker 2>You're watching me cry and break down, not because I've

0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:39.720
<v Speaker 2>got these deep feelings for Adrian. You're watching me cry

0:19:39.800 --> 0:19:43.280
<v Speaker 2>and break down because of how I'm being treated as

0:19:43.280 --> 0:19:47.199
<v Speaker 2>a human, like, even as a friend. Treating someone the

0:19:47.200 --> 0:19:51.399
<v Speaker 2>way I was getting treated sometimes it's heartbreaking. You're gonna cry.

0:19:51.840 --> 0:19:55.320
<v Speaker 2>If you're doing all these things as someone and you're

0:19:55.359 --> 0:19:58.680
<v Speaker 2>being kind and you're being intimate, you expect some level

0:19:58.680 --> 0:20:03.080
<v Speaker 2>of respect and just some like decency. And I was

0:20:04.040 --> 0:20:06.120
<v Speaker 2>consistently blindsided by Adrian.

0:20:06.920 --> 0:20:09.320
<v Speaker 1>For me, the hardest thing to watch with you was

0:20:09.359 --> 0:20:13.520
<v Speaker 1>the episode with his sisters and Jasmine Chick, and to me,

0:20:13.640 --> 0:20:15.600
<v Speaker 1>that was like across the line. There was no one

0:20:15.600 --> 0:20:18.040
<v Speaker 1>could say that was entertaining to watch as Royality TV

0:20:18.760 --> 0:20:21.800
<v Speaker 1>try yeah, like and is it true that? So they

0:20:22.440 --> 0:20:23.800
<v Speaker 1>sat you down there and they all went at you

0:20:23.880 --> 0:20:25.960
<v Speaker 1>before clear was brought on to say yeah that.

0:20:26.840 --> 0:20:30.040
<v Speaker 2>Friends and family went for like five minutes, not even like.

0:20:30.400 --> 0:20:34.399
<v Speaker 2>I was already nervous about seeing them. Adrian and I

0:20:34.480 --> 0:20:36.959
<v Speaker 2>obviously off the back of a tough week where he

0:20:37.000 --> 0:20:39.800
<v Speaker 2>wrote stay and I decided to leave. I was done.

0:20:40.280 --> 0:20:44.560
<v Speaker 2>I've tried my hardest and I didn't want to be

0:20:44.640 --> 0:20:48.439
<v Speaker 2>there anymore. So walking into friends and family, I had

0:20:48.440 --> 0:20:50.760
<v Speaker 2>actually texted my twin sister that morning and I said,

0:20:50.800 --> 0:20:53.920
<v Speaker 2>go easy on, Adrian, if we're here, I don't need

0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:56.680
<v Speaker 2>this level of hostility. Like I'm struggling enough as it is,

0:20:56.680 --> 0:21:01.800
<v Speaker 2>Like everyone could see that I'm struggling, like I'm a

0:21:01.960 --> 0:21:05.879
<v Speaker 2>shell that day. And then I sat down and I

0:21:05.920 --> 0:21:08.200
<v Speaker 2>thought it could be nice and nice friends and family.

0:21:08.359 --> 0:21:10.960
<v Speaker 2>They're just gonna catch up. We can eat, we can

0:21:11.000 --> 0:21:13.840
<v Speaker 2>have a few drinks, and let's just come on like civility,

0:21:14.000 --> 0:21:17.680
<v Speaker 2>like we're grown ups. I was met with instant hostility.

0:21:17.880 --> 0:21:20.480
<v Speaker 2>It was an interrogation of the off the get go,

0:21:21.119 --> 0:21:25.040
<v Speaker 2>and afterwards when I said that that was hostile, it

0:21:25.040 --> 0:21:28.240
<v Speaker 2>was an interrogation Adrian deflected that back onto me and

0:21:28.600 --> 0:21:30.359
<v Speaker 2>made me feel like, no, clear when I were in

0:21:30.400 --> 0:21:32.960
<v Speaker 2>the wrong and we were the bad guys and we

0:21:33.000 --> 0:21:36.920
<v Speaker 2>attacked and our aggression was wrong and our language was wrong.

0:21:37.080 --> 0:21:39.200
<v Speaker 2>And then even when we were like in a group

0:21:39.280 --> 0:21:42.760
<v Speaker 2>dynamic that night the dinner party, he was telling everyone

0:21:42.840 --> 0:21:46.119
<v Speaker 2>his you know, warped reality. I could hear him on

0:21:46.119 --> 0:21:50.800
<v Speaker 2>the outside telling everyone his version of events. And I

0:21:50.840 --> 0:21:53.240
<v Speaker 2>do feel like a lot of people failed me that night,

0:21:53.800 --> 0:21:58.840
<v Speaker 2>because I think that more people should have stood up

0:21:58.840 --> 0:21:59.800
<v Speaker 2>for me in that moment.

0:22:00.600 --> 0:22:02.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I think it's not even the cast that

0:22:02.320 --> 0:22:04.400
<v Speaker 1>failed you, it's everyone involved in this show, because, as

0:22:04.400 --> 0:22:07.000
<v Speaker 1>I said, you said you went into that friends and family,

0:22:07.000 --> 0:22:10.000
<v Speaker 1>you're already feeling a bit like uneasy. You weren't enjoying it.

0:22:10.440 --> 0:22:12.800
<v Speaker 1>And they allowed those people, those free women, to just

0:22:13.520 --> 0:22:16.800
<v Speaker 1>attack you before bringing in Cleo, who was your support.

0:22:17.040 --> 0:22:20.400
<v Speaker 1>Like the production so everyone a woman who were struggling,

0:22:20.640 --> 0:22:22.760
<v Speaker 1>and they thought, let's throw free people who are going

0:22:22.800 --> 0:22:25.520
<v Speaker 1>to attack her. And like I didn't like people always

0:22:25.520 --> 0:22:27.240
<v Speaker 1>say like, oh that my podcast meant to be funny,

0:22:27.359 --> 0:22:28.640
<v Speaker 1>and I tried to do it, but things.

0:22:28.400 --> 0:22:31.440
<v Speaker 2>Like that, it's I cried watching that back.

0:22:31.920 --> 0:22:34.200
<v Speaker 1>I can imagine reliving it like I cried.

0:22:36.440 --> 0:22:38.320
<v Speaker 2>And I think the reason I cried is because I

0:22:38.400 --> 0:22:41.040
<v Speaker 2>when the experiment was over, I could breathe. I was happy.

0:22:42.240 --> 0:22:46.200
<v Speaker 2>But I actually left this experience going I'm the bad guy.

0:22:46.880 --> 0:22:50.000
<v Speaker 2>I genuinely did. I told Cleo, I'm gonna be made

0:22:50.000 --> 0:22:51.720
<v Speaker 2>out like the villain. I was made to feel like

0:22:51.840 --> 0:22:55.240
<v Speaker 2>the villain. So everyone else was watching it back like,

0:22:55.280 --> 0:22:57.960
<v Speaker 2>aren't you happy like your story supported Like the other

0:22:58.040 --> 0:23:00.800
<v Speaker 2>applicants that watched this show I won't name, but you know,

0:23:00.920 --> 0:23:02.920
<v Speaker 2>like you've got all the airtime for this, and aren't

0:23:02.960 --> 0:23:05.520
<v Speaker 2>you happy for this? And you know people saw your

0:23:05.560 --> 0:23:09.399
<v Speaker 2>point of perspective like, no, I'm not happy because as

0:23:09.480 --> 0:23:13.239
<v Speaker 2>much as it's like validating for other people, it was,

0:23:14.560 --> 0:23:17.199
<v Speaker 2>it was hard for me to watch because I was

0:23:17.200 --> 0:23:19.119
<v Speaker 2>made to feel like the bad guy in that moment,

0:23:19.680 --> 0:23:21.600
<v Speaker 2>and watching it back out, I was going, you weren't

0:23:21.640 --> 0:23:24.959
<v Speaker 2>the bad person, Avena, you were valid in how you felt.

0:23:25.200 --> 0:23:27.439
<v Speaker 2>You were made to feel like the bad guy. So

0:23:27.520 --> 0:23:30.679
<v Speaker 2>when you walked into that commitment ceremony and you chose

0:23:30.720 --> 0:23:33.320
<v Speaker 2>to stay even though every bone in your body didn't

0:23:33.359 --> 0:23:36.919
<v Speaker 2>want to, you stayed because you thought, I need to

0:23:37.119 --> 0:23:41.199
<v Speaker 2>change perspective on yourself because you're the bad guy in

0:23:41.240 --> 0:23:45.240
<v Speaker 2>this and your sisters the aggressor in this. So it

0:23:45.359 --> 0:23:49.000
<v Speaker 2>was really confronting to me to see that, No, Avena,

0:23:49.040 --> 0:23:49.960
<v Speaker 2>you were not the bad guy.

0:23:50.000 --> 0:23:51.040
<v Speaker 1>You're never the but guy.

0:23:51.640 --> 0:23:53.400
<v Speaker 2>So that that was hard because I was.

0:23:53.359 --> 0:23:57.760
<v Speaker 1>Like, and you reckon going forward. At least you've learned

0:23:57.800 --> 0:23:59.960
<v Speaker 1>a lot about what in the next guy you date.

0:24:00.119 --> 0:24:01.879
<v Speaker 1>You know what to look for now, and you know

0:24:01.920 --> 0:24:02.440
<v Speaker 1>what red.

0:24:02.280 --> 0:24:04.200
<v Speaker 2>Flo No, because I'm going to tell you right now,

0:24:05.520 --> 0:24:08.280
<v Speaker 2>I never would have dated Adrian in my own community,

0:24:08.320 --> 0:24:12.119
<v Speaker 2>in my soil, in my friend group, in my like

0:24:13.080 --> 0:24:15.000
<v Speaker 2>he wouldn't have got past the first date.

0:24:15.440 --> 0:24:17.400
<v Speaker 1>H Really, that's the truth.

0:24:17.440 --> 0:24:20.920
<v Speaker 2>If I met Adrian, I can appreciate when someone's attractive.

0:24:20.960 --> 0:24:22.919
<v Speaker 2>For the language you will see me use through the

0:24:22.920 --> 0:24:29.880
<v Speaker 2>experiment is chemistry, physical attraction. Chemistry, physical attractions. Chemistry, physical attraction. Now,

0:24:29.920 --> 0:24:32.840
<v Speaker 2>I love to compliment my partner. Now, if he had

0:24:32.920 --> 0:24:35.480
<v Speaker 2>any other redeeming qualities about him, you would have heard

0:24:35.480 --> 0:24:39.200
<v Speaker 2>me mention it multiple times. The only reason you only

0:24:39.240 --> 0:24:42.120
<v Speaker 2>hear chemistry and physical attractions because that's all he had

0:24:42.160 --> 0:24:46.320
<v Speaker 2>to him. So if I'm gonna, you know, give affirmations

0:24:46.359 --> 0:24:49.439
<v Speaker 2>to my partner. I'm not gonna lie. That's all he

0:24:49.520 --> 0:24:52.200
<v Speaker 2>had and that's not a foundation of a long term

0:24:52.240 --> 0:24:54.960
<v Speaker 2>relationship which I had just come from, and that's what

0:24:55.040 --> 0:24:58.800
<v Speaker 2>I still wanted. He's someone I would have slept with

0:24:58.840 --> 0:25:01.520
<v Speaker 2>once and not again.

0:25:02.119 --> 0:25:08.159
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we're all about those people ever again. Okay, Well

0:25:08.240 --> 0:25:10.920
<v Speaker 1>let's I think we've spoken about Adrian enough now. Okay,

0:25:11.119 --> 0:25:15.000
<v Speaker 1>hopefully we as the Australian public can leave him behind.

0:25:16.119 --> 0:25:18.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm i gonna say one thing though. Yes, after

0:25:18.600 --> 0:25:21.640
<v Speaker 2>this week, you know it's done on air, I will

0:25:21.680 --> 0:25:25.080
<v Speaker 2>never talk about Adrian again. Great, so this, I'm gonna

0:25:25.119 --> 0:25:27.639
<v Speaker 2>do a few podcasts this week. I'm gonna do Channel

0:25:27.640 --> 0:25:30.560
<v Speaker 2>want to interview press on Monday. That's it. You will

0:25:30.560 --> 0:25:32.720
<v Speaker 2>never hear me mention that man's name again. He's blocked

0:25:32.720 --> 0:25:36.280
<v Speaker 2>for a reason. I'm moving on with my life and

0:25:36.320 --> 0:25:37.760
<v Speaker 2>I will never speak of him again.

0:25:39.200 --> 0:25:40.840
<v Speaker 1>You know, what I like about you is the fact

0:25:40.880 --> 0:25:42.919
<v Speaker 1>that everyone is now at the stage where they're planning

0:25:43.400 --> 0:25:46.000
<v Speaker 1>podcasts and fashion ranges and this and that, and last

0:25:46.040 --> 0:25:48.080
<v Speaker 1>time I spoke to you, you just went well, you know,

0:25:48.119 --> 0:25:50.359
<v Speaker 1>I'm just taking myself to a sports club and then

0:25:50.359 --> 0:25:53.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm doing a shift like Edge Care and you're like

0:25:53.119 --> 0:25:54.760
<v Speaker 1>that's all you want in your life, Like you don't

0:25:54.760 --> 0:25:55.720
<v Speaker 1>want these, you don't.

0:25:55.840 --> 0:25:57.639
<v Speaker 2>My job's pretty awesome. I'm not gonna lie, like I

0:25:57.640 --> 0:25:58.520
<v Speaker 2>have a really great job.

0:25:58.840 --> 0:26:00.880
<v Speaker 1>But like, to me, that's just telling the character. You're

0:26:00.920 --> 0:26:03.000
<v Speaker 1>just a nice, genuine person.

0:26:03.359 --> 0:26:05.080
<v Speaker 2>Well it's I do have a good gig, and like

0:26:05.160 --> 0:26:07.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm really lucky because like I've got a really great

0:26:07.960 --> 0:26:10.800
<v Speaker 2>community behind me. I remember when I first got back home,

0:26:11.119 --> 0:26:13.439
<v Speaker 2>one of my friends cried, and this is before it

0:26:13.480 --> 0:26:16.040
<v Speaker 2>all aired, and she cried because she was like, I

0:26:16.080 --> 0:26:17.719
<v Speaker 2>just want the light back in you. And I was like, oh,

0:26:19.280 --> 0:26:20.960
<v Speaker 2>and I was like it's so telling of like the

0:26:21.040 --> 0:26:25.080
<v Speaker 2>people I'm normally around, Like people genuinely care about you,

0:26:25.119 --> 0:26:27.639
<v Speaker 2>and they can see things. They're not waiting for you

0:26:27.680 --> 0:26:31.320
<v Speaker 2>to spell a picture, Like how do people not see?

0:26:31.440 --> 0:26:33.440
<v Speaker 2>Like now you're watching it back, there's comments where it's

0:26:33.440 --> 0:26:36.399
<v Speaker 2>like a veenis body's rejecting her, like she's a gained

0:26:36.480 --> 0:26:39.560
<v Speaker 2>eight kilos in that experiment, but not only that inflammation

0:26:39.760 --> 0:26:41.880
<v Speaker 2>my eyes, Like there's so many things, there's so many

0:26:41.920 --> 0:26:45.080
<v Speaker 2>telling signs. And they come home and my friends recognize

0:26:45.119 --> 0:26:48.800
<v Speaker 2>it instantly, you know, Like it's just beautiful being home

0:26:48.840 --> 0:26:50.800
<v Speaker 2>in my community. Like I went straight back to work,

0:26:51.480 --> 0:26:52.960
<v Speaker 2>I picked my son up on the way home from

0:26:52.960 --> 0:26:56.119
<v Speaker 2>the airport. I flew home five times through the experiment.

0:26:56.880 --> 0:26:58.160
<v Speaker 2>I got a cost to myself.

0:26:58.280 --> 0:27:00.400
<v Speaker 1>Oh, they wouldn't pay for that, No, I pay for it.

0:27:00.280 --> 0:27:02.240
<v Speaker 2>Myself, and was about eight hundred every time. And I was

0:27:02.280 --> 0:27:07.119
<v Speaker 2>finally like cheap twenty four hours home each time because

0:27:07.240 --> 0:27:08.959
<v Speaker 2>weekends we got off and it was like I had

0:27:09.000 --> 0:27:11.199
<v Speaker 2>to be preapproved, so like yeah, it was like eight

0:27:11.320 --> 0:27:14.360
<v Speaker 2>hundred and fifty each time, and then like obviously ubers

0:27:14.359 --> 0:27:16.080
<v Speaker 2>to and from the airport, so it was like a

0:27:16.160 --> 0:27:18.840
<v Speaker 2>thousand dollars to see my son every That's the.

0:27:18.760 --> 0:27:21.560
<v Speaker 1>Biggest shock of the season to me. It would not

0:27:22.119 --> 0:27:24.800
<v Speaker 1>to go see yoursel Yeah, I pay for myself fucking

0:27:24.800 --> 0:27:26.480
<v Speaker 1>on the shows making tons of millions.

0:27:26.760 --> 0:27:30.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like literally, and it'd be like last minute that

0:27:31.280 --> 0:27:33.320
<v Speaker 2>maybe it's a week I'm struggling, and they'd be like, hey, Pean,

0:27:33.440 --> 0:27:35.000
<v Speaker 2>you can go home this weekend.

0:27:35.320 --> 0:27:37.080
<v Speaker 1>And then they're taking a box like okay, well she

0:27:37.119 --> 0:27:38.439
<v Speaker 1>was struggling, so she's good now.

0:27:38.280 --> 0:27:40.280
<v Speaker 2>With Well, I get that twenty four hours home and

0:27:40.280 --> 0:27:42.359
<v Speaker 2>I would almost feel like re energized, where I'd be

0:27:42.359 --> 0:27:44.919
<v Speaker 2>like Okay, maybe I can. I can do this, like

0:27:44.960 --> 0:27:49.399
<v Speaker 2>maybe I can put my big girl panties on, and

0:27:49.520 --> 0:27:52.000
<v Speaker 2>let's try again, let's reset, and.

0:27:51.960 --> 0:27:54.560
<v Speaker 1>You might not have found a pilot, but you found Jamie.

0:27:54.960 --> 0:27:56.360
<v Speaker 2>I did think Jamie.

0:27:56.560 --> 0:27:58.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I was very cute in the reunion, like all

0:27:58.560 --> 0:27:59.800
<v Speaker 1>the girls together, like.

0:28:01.320 --> 0:28:04.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm not gonna lie. But the reunion was amazing and

0:28:04.640 --> 0:28:06.320
<v Speaker 2>I felt like a lot of us women were very

0:28:06.400 --> 0:28:09.960
<v Speaker 2>much in our power. Yes, and we left together like

0:28:10.000 --> 0:28:12.200
<v Speaker 2>into another room and we were all just like holding

0:28:12.240 --> 0:28:15.560
<v Speaker 2>each other like we've got this. And I don't watch maths.

0:28:15.560 --> 0:28:18.840
<v Speaker 2>I don't know about previous seasons. I don't know if

0:28:19.680 --> 0:28:21.920
<v Speaker 2>previous seasons had that girl kind.

0:28:21.760 --> 0:28:24.159
<v Speaker 1>Of not so this like extent. It was more like

0:28:24.200 --> 0:28:26.560
<v Speaker 1>one or two girls together, not like the whole group.

0:28:26.680 --> 0:28:29.760
<v Speaker 2>But it was really incredible. But what you will, what

0:28:29.800 --> 0:28:31.639
<v Speaker 2>you guys do miss out on in that episode is

0:28:31.680 --> 0:28:34.680
<v Speaker 2>while we're all outside in that other room, very much

0:28:34.720 --> 0:28:38.080
<v Speaker 2>in our element together, Adrian's the one who walks out,

0:28:38.120 --> 0:28:39.800
<v Speaker 2>and it's like, come on, girls, come back to the

0:28:39.800 --> 0:28:43.440
<v Speaker 2>dinner party. Like, come on, girls, come back to the

0:28:43.480 --> 0:28:45.960
<v Speaker 2>dinner party. I'm like, oh my fucking god. The gift

0:28:45.960 --> 0:28:49.880
<v Speaker 2>that keeps on giving. Yeah, it sounds about right, but no,

0:28:50.080 --> 0:28:53.959
<v Speaker 2>I am incredibly grateful for this experience. I will be honest.

0:28:54.080 --> 0:28:57.120
<v Speaker 2>At first, I had so much regrets. I wish I

0:28:57.200 --> 0:29:01.760
<v Speaker 2>never did it. I think everyone says that, But now

0:29:01.880 --> 0:29:04.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm so thankful. I think I left a really long

0:29:04.520 --> 0:29:07.640
<v Speaker 2>term relationship. Now. When I left, I felt like I

0:29:07.680 --> 0:29:11.160
<v Speaker 2>needed excitement. I feel like I'd missed out on something.

0:29:11.200 --> 0:29:12.040
<v Speaker 2>Like everyone had kind of.

0:29:12.000 --> 0:29:14.760
<v Speaker 1>Gone relationship your whole twenties.

0:29:14.640 --> 0:29:16.440
<v Speaker 2>My teenageers too. I met him when I was fifteen.

0:29:16.520 --> 0:29:18.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so it's like you might have looked back and

0:29:18.680 --> 0:29:20.200
<v Speaker 1>fuck my best years of behind me, Like, and I

0:29:20.200 --> 0:29:21.120
<v Speaker 1>didn't do anything wild.

0:29:21.280 --> 0:29:24.120
<v Speaker 2>I was so thankful for my son because he's amazing,

0:29:24.240 --> 0:29:27.320
<v Speaker 2>but I thought I'm missing out on something. I need excitement,

0:29:27.480 --> 0:29:29.440
<v Speaker 2>I need something I need to catch up to the

0:29:29.440 --> 0:29:31.680
<v Speaker 2>rest of the world, you know, Like I don't feel

0:29:31.720 --> 0:29:35.480
<v Speaker 2>like i'd done enough. Even though I've lived this very beautiful,

0:29:35.520 --> 0:29:38.800
<v Speaker 2>incredible life, I felt like it was lacking somewhere, like

0:29:38.840 --> 0:29:41.480
<v Speaker 2>I had a hole. And then Maths fell into my

0:29:41.560 --> 0:29:44.760
<v Speaker 2>lap almost And I'm thankful for it because I think

0:29:44.800 --> 0:29:46.960
<v Speaker 2>a lot of people after a long term breakup, they

0:29:47.320 --> 0:29:52.320
<v Speaker 2>spend years chasing something I had three months and when

0:29:52.320 --> 0:29:54.760
<v Speaker 2>I left that experience, I was kind of like, holy fuck,

0:29:54.840 --> 0:29:58.320
<v Speaker 2>my life is so great. I'm so content. I'm so

0:29:58.400 --> 0:30:01.800
<v Speaker 2>happy in my life. I am not missing out on anything.

0:30:01.960 --> 0:30:04.280
<v Speaker 2>The level of excitement I over my life I have

0:30:04.520 --> 0:30:07.840
<v Speaker 2>every day because I have this beautiful community behind me

0:30:08.200 --> 0:30:10.680
<v Speaker 2>and we do different things. You know, like it is exciting.

0:30:10.760 --> 0:30:13.280
<v Speaker 1>You've got great friends, a good job, and a son

0:30:13.320 --> 0:30:13.600
<v Speaker 1>and a.

0:30:13.520 --> 0:30:22.480
<v Speaker 2>Beautiful home and a beautiful family. Right, And I'm excited

0:30:22.520 --> 0:30:25.760
<v Speaker 2>because I'm I haven't been dating since the experiment ended,

0:30:26.760 --> 0:30:30.520
<v Speaker 2>but I'm going to start. See, I actually want to

0:30:30.520 --> 0:30:32.600
<v Speaker 2>get on the hinge.

0:30:32.520 --> 0:30:33.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I want to get on and is the fun

0:30:34.000 --> 0:30:35.280
<v Speaker 1>one and you can have a fun movie your profile

0:30:35.320 --> 0:30:35.760
<v Speaker 1>and I want.

0:30:35.680 --> 0:30:38.080
<v Speaker 2>To go on like like those dating events see single

0:30:38.160 --> 0:30:40.840
<v Speaker 2>dating events, Jamie told me, any laying people go to them.

0:30:40.840 --> 0:30:44.200
<v Speaker 2>But I'm going kind of yea like speed Day and

0:30:44.320 --> 0:30:46.680
<v Speaker 2>I've never done it, but I'm going, yeah it, why not?

0:30:46.880 --> 0:30:48.280
<v Speaker 2>Can't be worse than what I already did.

0:30:48.600 --> 0:30:50.920
<v Speaker 1>Well, I will look forward to catching get with you

0:30:50.960 --> 0:30:53.320
<v Speaker 1>again soon on the podcast, and hopefully you'll have a

0:30:53.360 --> 0:30:54.360
<v Speaker 1>big update for us.

0:30:54.560 --> 0:30:57.360
<v Speaker 2>Hopefully you will too be married. Maybe we'll both be

0:30:57.440 --> 0:30:58.640
<v Speaker 2>hitched together.

0:30:59.120 --> 0:31:00.960
<v Speaker 1>Okay, you know because I speak quite haheighthly of you,

0:31:01.000 --> 0:31:02.479
<v Speaker 1>and I thing A lot of listeners don't well as

0:31:02.480 --> 0:31:04.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm gay, so often they say, Josh, you should get

0:31:04.560 --> 0:31:05.200
<v Speaker 1>with Athena.

0:31:05.280 --> 0:31:07.440
<v Speaker 2>I've seen the comments when people were writing that, and

0:31:07.480 --> 0:31:09.280
<v Speaker 2>I was like, how did these men not realize that

0:31:09.360 --> 0:31:11.360
<v Speaker 2>Josh is gay? Like they were like a feet I mean,

0:31:11.440 --> 0:31:13.320
<v Speaker 2>Josh ask her on a date, and I'm like, oh

0:31:13.320 --> 0:31:14.160
<v Speaker 2>my gosh.

0:31:13.840 --> 0:31:15.440
<v Speaker 1>If I was straight, I'll take you on the best

0:31:15.520 --> 0:31:18.000
<v Speaker 1>day the wedding. I'll just treat you like the queen

0:31:18.040 --> 0:31:18.480
<v Speaker 1>you should be.

0:31:20.960 --> 0:31:22.960
<v Speaker 2>No, but I actually I will be honest. I think

0:31:23.000 --> 0:31:25.160
<v Speaker 2>Adrian treated me or showed up for me the best

0:31:25.160 --> 0:31:28.720
<v Speaker 2>you would in any relationship. I generally feel like I

0:31:28.800 --> 0:31:32.880
<v Speaker 2>feel like that's just Adrian, Like truly, I don't think

0:31:32.920 --> 0:31:34.160
<v Speaker 2>it's ever going to get better than that.

0:31:34.960 --> 0:31:37.080
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Well, on that note, we will cheers and end

0:31:37.080 --> 0:31:39.920
<v Speaker 1>this podcast. That's cute.

0:31:40.200 --> 0:31:41.040
<v Speaker 2>It was cute.