WEBVTT - Red Flag 0:00:04.720 --> 0:00:08.520 Get up off for that damn House and Donald somebody 0:00:09.039 --> 0:00:12.319 lo it's Melan wanted that song. I don't know the words, 0:00:12.560 --> 0:00:15.520 but it reminds me of Allen DeGeneres, Get up up that. 0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:18.159 It's one of those songs like you know, but you 0:00:18.160 --> 0:00:20.040 don't know who sings it, you don't know what it's called. 0:00:20.120 --> 0:00:21.160 I don't know the words. 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:22.440 What goes after that? 0:00:25.360 --> 0:00:28.520 I automatically sort of go to sex Machine by James Brown, 0:00:28.560 --> 0:00:28.960 but it's not. 0:00:29.440 --> 0:00:31.040 Oh yeah, it's not. 0:00:31.160 --> 0:00:32.000 I don't think it's a. 0:00:31.960 --> 0:00:32.720 Sex a machine. 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:34.640 If you know, get in touch let us know. 0:00:36.560 --> 0:00:39.519 Hi everyone, it is Melan Monte. Thanks for joining us 0:00:40.680 --> 0:00:44.400 on this glorious jay as we podcast into your earballs 0:00:44.400 --> 0:00:46.600 if you knew, thanks for listening. If you're an oldie, 0:00:46.800 --> 0:00:49.479 just bloody love you. Thanks so much. So I woke 0:00:49.560 --> 0:00:52.559 up Saturday morning with a tingle on the lip. No 0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:54.400 one likes a tingle on the lip. 0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:54.680 No one? 0:00:54.920 --> 0:00:58.760 Well, yeah, you're right, no one likes a tingle on 0:00:58.800 --> 0:01:01.240 the lip. And then I touch the lip and I'm like, 0:01:01.280 --> 0:01:03.640 that's saw. So I get out of bed and race 0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:05.920 straight to the chemists because I'm that vain and I 0:01:06.040 --> 0:01:08.240 know what that means. That tingle and I'm like, I 0:01:08.280 --> 0:01:10.640 need that coalsaw tablet that you take to stop them 0:01:10.640 --> 0:01:14.399 coming on. Anyway, I took it straight away and one's 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:16.880 come up on my lip on the right side of 0:01:16.920 --> 0:01:20.399 my mouth. And I am one of those people that 0:01:20.959 --> 0:01:23.399 is a teller. Yes, do you know what I mean? 0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:25.560 So everyone, I say, I'm like, oh, yeah, no, I'm gonna. 0:01:25.720 --> 0:01:29.800 Of course, I know, because you feel like it's like 0:01:29.840 --> 0:01:30.959 a planet on your lip. 0:01:31.040 --> 0:01:34.440 Oh my god. It's because also, coal saws are so 0:01:34.560 --> 0:01:37.160 disgusting and they're so contagious, and I haven't had one 0:01:37.160 --> 0:01:40.839 in literally like fifteen years. Yeah. So now I've got one, 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:43.120 and I can tell people are seeing it and in 0:01:43.120 --> 0:01:45.360 their head they're like colesaw, coal saw. And so I 0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:48.360 also hug and kiss people when I see them. Yes, 0:01:48.440 --> 0:01:50.280 so I am now having to go, oh, go to 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:51.720 the other side. I say, I'll go to the other 0:01:51.800 --> 0:01:53.840 side because I don't want to get you with my coalsaw. 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:56.960 I how are those people that just don't even like 0:01:57.320 --> 0:01:58.680 hide the fact they're looking at it. 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:01.120 They're not even to screen. If you just stare right 0:02:01.200 --> 0:02:03.800 at it, you honestly can't look at this and like 0:02:03.840 --> 0:02:06.680 it's just standing out like dogs balls can you hear that? 0:02:06.680 --> 0:02:08.440 That's Sam calling. I'm gonna hang up on him. 0:02:08.680 --> 0:02:10.680 Do you have to get it? Nah? 0:02:10.840 --> 0:02:16.880 Later. But also some people are not talents, do you 0:02:16.880 --> 0:02:18.840 know what I mean? You're either a teller or you're 0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:21.639 just a dealer, and you just have something on your 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:25.040 face and you don't acknowledge it to anyone where. I'm like, 0:02:25.240 --> 0:02:28.000 if I've gone and had a treatment, be like and red, 0:02:28.120 --> 0:02:30.280 Oh I've just had a treatment, Like I have to 0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:31.119 explain it. 0:02:31.120 --> 0:02:33.640 It's because you're so self conscious. Remember I told you 0:02:33.680 --> 0:02:36.400 when I had Bell's palsy, right, I remember opening the 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:39.959 door to get a package and Paul Bastard was just 0:02:40.200 --> 0:02:42.079 wanted to give me my package, and I said, sorry, 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:44.280 I know my face looks funny, but I've got Bell's palsy. 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:48.320 And He's like, I don't fucking care, lady, just sign here, please. 0:02:48.919 --> 0:02:52.960 Oh my god, it's so funny. God, it's so funny. 0:02:53.000 --> 0:02:55.800 But it also a call saw is just a sign 0:02:55.800 --> 0:02:58.280 of going, I'm really run down and not coping at 0:02:58.320 --> 0:03:01.880 the moment. Like it's yes, so obvious when you've got 0:03:01.880 --> 0:03:04.000 a coal saw that, oh you're a stress Look at 0:03:04.040 --> 0:03:04.760 that stress ed. 0:03:05.000 --> 0:03:08.040 It's like your body's rebelling it is. We know what 0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:10.359 we can do to make your stress even better. Yeah, 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:12.959 you make you look not that you do, because I 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:13.799 couldn't even tell it. 0:03:14.040 --> 0:03:16.320 No, you can. You can see it now for sure 0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:18.640 you can. Sounds like it just looks like a scab 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:21.040 on your lip. I'm like, brilliant, that's just exactly that's 0:03:21.040 --> 0:03:23.280 a look I'm after. Mate, It's exactly what I'm after. 0:03:23.680 --> 0:03:25.760 If I didn't know you and I was meeting you 0:03:25.800 --> 0:03:27.480 for the first time, looking at you here, it looks 0:03:27.480 --> 0:03:28.440 like you've had a little mole on it. 0:03:28.560 --> 0:03:30.919 Okay, bit Claudia know what was her name? 0:03:30.960 --> 0:03:34.960 Cindy Crawford with the names again, fucking the names up. 0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:41.280 Speaking of celebrit eyes from Cindy crawftin to Drew Barrymore. 0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:43.480 We always have a bit of beef with Drew, like 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:46.320 often send videos because she's so cringe worthy. 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:50.840 Yeah, and She's We've talked about like when I see 0:03:50.880 --> 0:03:54.040 her joy that feels performative or whatever. It makes me. 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:57.280 I hate it, But maybe I hate it because I 0:03:57.400 --> 0:03:59.520 envy it because I'm quite negative. 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:05.800 Yeah, she's We turned on her when she got the 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:08.920 camera when it was raining outside and took the camera 0:04:09.000 --> 0:04:12.120 outside and started crying into it because she was having 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:16.680 so much joy. Yeah, And it's like yeah, and then 0:04:16.800 --> 0:04:19.120 didn't she cry when she was knocking a hole into 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:23.719 her kitchen? And it's I just can't handle people grabbing 0:04:23.760 --> 0:04:28.080 cameras when they're crying. But also with her talk show, 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:31.920 she's all up in people's grill, like no one's business, 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:35.640 like the touching, the tactileness, which I get because I'm 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:38.040 quite tactole too when I touch people when I talk. 0:04:38.360 --> 0:04:40.080 But it's too much. 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:43.640 It is too much. There's guests you can visibly see 0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:48.279 they're uncomfortable. It's like she doesn't read it. She can't read. Oh, 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:50.400 I don't want to hold your hand. I'm just here 0:04:50.440 --> 0:04:53.200 to tell my fucking story and she's holding the hand. 0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:56.280 I've seen her go out and talk to guests. She'll 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:58.400 get on their lap and hug them and get so 0:04:58.440 --> 0:05:01.400 close to their face. And again this becomes a breath issue. 0:05:01.400 --> 0:05:04.240 It's a breadth thing for me. Would be so uncomfortable 0:05:04.279 --> 0:05:06.240 hate close talkers because I'm like, I don't want to 0:05:06.240 --> 0:05:08.000 smell your breath. I don't want you to smell mine, like, 0:05:08.080 --> 0:05:10.600 and so I can't concentrate when people are too close 0:05:10.640 --> 0:05:13.000 to me for that exact reason. But also there's that 0:05:13.080 --> 0:05:15.919 footage of Oprah when Oprah was on the count with 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:19.800 her and she's holding Oprah's hand and Oprah's hands literally 0:05:19.839 --> 0:05:23.159 has spread her fingers like let go, and she just 0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:26.800 kept holding them and it was so mortifying, I know. 0:05:26.960 --> 0:05:29.120 Or she gave her like a little pat, you know, 0:05:29.200 --> 0:05:32.000 like enough now, you know, like when someone's giving you 0:05:32.040 --> 0:05:35.320 a hug and then you past the back get off. Yeah. 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:38.640 So she has though acknowledged she that this is. 0:05:38.720 --> 0:05:41.640 Yeah, she's come out so obviously people have said it. 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:44.600 Maybe she's had some guest feedback. Maybe she's reading online 0:05:44.600 --> 0:05:47.000 forums where people are saying exactly what we're saying. 0:05:47.080 --> 0:05:49.200 Of course they would because she's actually known for it 0:05:49.240 --> 0:05:51.280 because sometimes guests are on there and when she touched them, 0:05:51.320 --> 0:05:53.440 she's like, oh, I was like, if Drew doesn't touch me, 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:54.720 this isn't gonna go well. 0:05:55.000 --> 0:05:57.960 In an interview with Entertainment Tonight, she explained that she 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:01.080 will try to practice physical discs stance in the upcoming 0:06:01.080 --> 0:06:03.279 season of her talk show. This is from ten play 0:06:03.360 --> 0:06:06.000 dot Comtreve You Barrymore is known for sitting right next 0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:08.640 to or holding the hands of celebrity guests she has 0:06:08.680 --> 0:06:11.160 on her talk show, which she's been slammed for on 0:06:11.200 --> 0:06:14.440 social media, And I'm like, this is probably looking into 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:16.600 it way too much. But it's like, imagine that was 0:06:16.640 --> 0:06:21.480 a male host. Yes, imagine that exact thing, but a 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:24.360 male host coming up to it, a guest putting your 0:06:24.400 --> 0:06:26.680 hand on her. 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:30.039 Sitting on her, Yeah, just rubbing the leg. The cand 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:32.680 always on a leg. You can imagine it was a 0:06:32.720 --> 0:06:36.120 male host hand just constantly on a female's leg or 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:38.520 the male leg or you're right. It's so funny when 0:06:38.520 --> 0:06:40.160 you stop. The sex is over, isn't it. 0:06:40.279 --> 0:06:42.520 This has just brought to mind this list I saw. 0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:44.920 I'm so into Redded at the moment, I can't even 0:06:44.920 --> 0:06:45.279 tell you. 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:47.320 But really, I've never understood read it. 0:06:47.600 --> 0:06:50.200 Never. We will do an episode where I'm going to 0:06:50.279 --> 0:06:53.720 deep dive into something. One of the questions was, what's 0:06:53.720 --> 0:06:56.920 something socially acceptable for one gender but not the other. 0:06:57.320 --> 0:07:00.360 This is very black and white, male female, don't mean 0:07:00.400 --> 0:07:04.280 to offend anybody. That's fine, Okay, visible toes at a 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:09.400 formal event. You think of a woman at a wedding 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:11.840 or something and she's got strappy shoes on your CEO toes. 0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:14.080 Imagine a guy rocking up with like some sort of 0:07:14.120 --> 0:07:15.440 peep toe loafer. 0:07:17.240 --> 0:07:18.920 Oh my god, that's so good. 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:22.560 There's so many good ones. Okay, going to the toilet together. 0:07:23.080 --> 0:07:28.040 If guys do it, they're sniffing coke, yes or touching cox. 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:32.400 Yeah, hands down. 0:07:33.880 --> 0:07:36.120 One can have their shirt off. The other one can't, 0:07:36.400 --> 0:07:36.920 of course. 0:07:37.120 --> 0:07:38.120 Yeah, that one annoys me. 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:42.880 This one's really good. Affection towards children, especially children we're 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:45.880 not related to. I can talk to small children, laugh 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:48.240 with them, pinch your cheek, et cetera, because it's more 0:07:48.280 --> 0:07:49.800 socially acceptable because I'm a woman. 0:07:49.920 --> 0:07:53.440 It's so true because we were overseas somewhere where it's 0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:55.920 very different. I forget, I forget where we were, but 0:07:56.000 --> 0:07:59.280 the men were wanting to pick up the baby. And 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:04.400 I think even been Balwie where the men were like 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:07.240 way more affectionate with the kids. And I noticed it. 0:08:07.280 --> 0:08:09.320 I was like, this is actually really nice. There's not 0:08:09.360 --> 0:08:11.880 that they don't have that stigma where it's like, no, 0:08:12.160 --> 0:08:15.480 men can't play with kids because it's fucking pedophile behavior. 0:08:15.880 --> 0:08:20.880 But for a man has to constantly be conscious. Yeah, yeah, 0:08:20.920 --> 0:08:23.360 it's just the difference there is huge. But I like 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:24.880 the open toe. One's the best. 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:30.040 This last one. As a former bartender being grabby everyone says, 0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:34.640 men are overly forward drunk middle aged women. I've had 0:08:34.640 --> 0:08:37.280 women grab my junk in front of God and Country 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:39.559 and everyone laughs it off. If I did that, I'd 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:40.800 be in the hospital or prison. 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:45.560 Very true, so true, think of me women women at 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:49.640 the strippers. That's another one, like if men touched the 0:08:49.679 --> 0:08:53.320 strippers like women do, like Princes of the Night was 0:08:53.360 --> 0:08:56.120 a Malboeth short Crown and I went a couple of times, 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:59.760 and those men were so sexually objectified by these women, 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:00.959 very physically. 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:03.400 My sister was at a hen's night once and she 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:05.360 told me that it was one of those like remember 0:09:05.400 --> 0:09:09.920 Crystal Teas in Brunswick. It was like this dingy anyway, 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:12.840 but one of the guys had stripped down and he 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:14.680 had like a towel around him, and he had the 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:18.160 hen up there with him, and she she got down 0:09:18.200 --> 0:09:20.240 on her knees and they were mucking around and stuff. 0:09:20.280 --> 0:09:23.240 So he put her head sort of towards his crutch 0:09:23.280 --> 0:09:25.280 and then covered it with the towel like so she 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:27.319 was under there and then all of a sudden they're 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:29.559 all looking and he's sort of moving back, like moving 0:09:29.559 --> 0:09:32.120 his hips back, like something weird was happening. She put 0:09:32.120 --> 0:09:38.320 his dick in her man like imagine, imagine they'd have 0:09:38.440 --> 0:09:47.480 to do something horny Desperate Housewives. 0:09:48.000 --> 0:09:50.120 I remember the first time I went though, I got 0:09:50.440 --> 0:09:53.360 under the spell. I was like, oh my god, this 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:55.800 is amazing. I've told this story before. But when we 0:09:55.880 --> 0:09:59.080 went for one of my friend's hands, she ended up 0:09:59.080 --> 0:10:02.160 sucking the stripper. I mean, that's hot, although not that 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:05.839 it was a hen No, it was full on. This 0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:09.120 was like a proper strippers where you got like, it's 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:12.440 still foul anyway after it that would like really sexy 0:10:12.520 --> 0:10:14.720 dancy on the dance from We were like, that's funny, 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:16.840 and then we're like this is going too far now 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:20.440 and we were trying to prior away. Ended up not 0:10:20.559 --> 0:10:23.800 that night sleeping with him, but ended up breaking up 0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:25.880 her marriage. And the first guy she slept with was 0:10:25.880 --> 0:10:29.160 the stripper. Yeah, she shouldn't have been walking down the aisle. 0:10:29.559 --> 0:10:31.280 Like as she was walking down the aisle, she said, 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:33.360 I wonder what so and so is doing talking about 0:10:33.360 --> 0:10:34.000 the strooper. 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:35.800 Well that's a bit of a red flag. 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:41.280 Oh so you couldn't have written it though. It's like 0:10:41.320 --> 0:10:43.760 we're on a hens and the Hennies fan the stripper. 0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:47.000 Oh my god, imagine how many girls they'd pulled though, 0:10:47.040 --> 0:10:47.800 those strippers. 0:10:48.000 --> 0:10:50.760 Oh mate, Because it's like the one. They are the 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:54.560 one in a room full of women in a room 0:10:54.600 --> 0:10:56.360 full of men, and everyone wants to get their. 0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:58.760 Attend even if they're not that hot. It becomes the 0:10:58.840 --> 0:11:01.440 law of relativity or that is called you know where 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:03.920 it's like, well, that's just the one in the room. Nah, 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:05.840 he's hot, because we've got no one else to base 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:08.280 like compare with, so this one will do. 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:10.440 And it's also the dancing element. 0:11:11.000 --> 0:11:15.760 Yeah, it is nice when a guy can dance. Here's 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:19.680 something else that is hectic is gen Z. 0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:23.000 We have spoken about this briefly, maybe a couple of 0:11:23.040 --> 0:11:26.719 years ago, but it's come up again, this concept of 0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:31.439 females gen z wanting to start free bleeding, which means 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:34.199 you just decide that when you have your period, you 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:36.360 don't use a tampon and you don't use a pad. 0:11:36.600 --> 0:11:40.520 You're just gonna let the let the blood run free. 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:42.400 So when. 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:46.760 Yuck, did we talk about the other week let the 0:11:46.760 --> 0:11:48.080 blood run free? Yeah? 0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:48.360 We did. 0:11:48.520 --> 0:11:52.520 Oh fuck, I'm such a great show. That's fucked up. 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:56.240 It's disgusting that is fucked up in just the most 0:11:56.240 --> 0:11:59.679 basic way that if I was sitting with someone and 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:03.080 they had a blood nose and their blood was running everywhere, 0:12:03.640 --> 0:12:05.920 I would not be comfortable with them not plugging that 0:12:06.040 --> 0:12:09.360 nose up. Yeah, stop the bleeding. Blood is you know, 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:11.960 diseases are carried in blood, and I don't want to 0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:13.520 touch anyone's blood but my own. 0:12:13.800 --> 0:12:15.679 I don't want to. I don't want to see your 0:12:15.679 --> 0:12:17.559 blood on your panties. I don't want to see it 0:12:17.600 --> 0:12:20.439 through your jeans. And then also, you know what if 0:12:20.480 --> 0:12:24.840 somebody said something like, oh, excuse me, just saying you 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:27.880 know you've leaped, and the woman's like, yeah, I know, 0:12:28.000 --> 0:12:30.480 I'm free bleeding, I'd be like, you're dick. 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:32.920 Yeah I know. I'd say, Okay, we'll bring a towel 0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:35.600 with you or something. Because if the next person's going 0:12:35.640 --> 0:12:37.920 to sit on that chair that all your blood's on. 0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:40.000 Like you're turning me off my coffee. 0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:42.480 It doesn't even matter that the blood's from your vagina. 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:44.760 It matters that there's blood. 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:47.360 You're just visible blood. Like it's just if somebody's got 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:49.720 like a nick on their arm, you know how like 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:53.120 old the people. Their skin becomes like crepe paper and 0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:55.280 they get nicks on their arm and everything. And even 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:57.080 when they cover it up and it seeps through the 0:12:57.120 --> 0:13:00.720 band aid, I find that, Like, Yakia, I don't like that. 0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:02.640 Just the band aid. 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:07.319 Yeah, a band aid with blood seeped through is so nasty, 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:07.920 isn't it. 0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:10.480 And it's just like it's been on there too long 0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:12.560 and it's starting to like flap up a little bit 0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:12.760 on the. 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:16.000 Shot or just a tiny flap at the side. Yuck. 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:18.880 My son, my three year old, is obsessed with band aids, Like, 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:20.720 if I want half hour, I'll give him a thing 0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:23.080 of band aids and he'll just peel off the band 0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:26.440 aids and stick them around on himself, on himself. Yeah, 0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:28.800 I've got ours, will stick them all over his toes. 0:13:28.920 --> 0:13:32.560 So then he's got like bloody witch's feet from them 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:35.720 from the band aids. He loves it. 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:39.160 Wait till he starts growing hair. That'll change him. 0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:42.240 Also, he's three and a half. We've never done swimming lessons. 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:45.520 This is my secret parent shame. Oh my god, let's 0:13:45.520 --> 0:13:47.800 do this. Please. If you've got a secret parent shame, 0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:51.600 can you please send us an Instagram message Show and 0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:54.920 tell onlines where you can find us. Because my first 0:13:54.960 --> 0:13:58.000 two were in the pool when they were fetuses, which 0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:00.520 I also for the second one, was like, this is ridiculous, 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:02.160 So let's wait until he's about two and get him 0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:04.480 in the pool. Then yeah, notus is three and a 0:14:04.559 --> 0:14:08.599 half and he cannot swim. 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:15.560 I think swimming lessons are important. However, there are punish Ah, 0:14:15.600 --> 0:14:19.200 there's such a punish And my main thing is, yes, 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:22.160 ideally you want him to be strong swimmers, great, but 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:25.200 I'm like, if you can just keep your head above water, 0:14:25.360 --> 0:14:27.360 I'm I'm happy with that aim. 0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:29.880 Like with backs, I'm like, you're not giving up swimming 0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:32.360 lessons until you can do it at least ten laps of 0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:36.360 each stroke. No aughed consistently with Odie. Now I'm like, 0:14:36.520 --> 0:14:39.600 just drownproof him. I just want him drownproofed. Yeah, but 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:41.480 so I booked him in. I'm like, Sam, can you 0:14:41.560 --> 0:14:44.240 start taking it's we've been busy, it's been a hectic 0:14:44.320 --> 0:14:46.840 few years and the third kid You're like whatever, But 0:14:46.880 --> 0:14:49.320 I'm like, we've got to start taking him now because 0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:52.360 I'm like, you see other kids and you're like, oh, 0:14:52.400 --> 0:14:55.000 they're swimming like he could not if he if I 0:14:55.160 --> 0:14:57.480 chucked him in a pool, he'd be a rock, he'd 0:14:57.480 --> 0:14:57.880 be a break. 0:14:57.960 --> 0:15:01.320 Yeah, but I think you've got like I'll just say, yes, 0:15:01.360 --> 0:15:03.240 of course it's important your kids learn to swim, but 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:06.160 he's three. You're not going to have him in a 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:09.800 situation where he's unsupervised around water, not, do you know 0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:10.280 what I mean? 0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:13.720 I also think like our old house, we had a pool, 0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:16.320 and I was like, well, he's going to be in 0:15:16.360 --> 0:15:18.520 the pool so much with us, he's gonna learn to swim, 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:20.360 and then I'll take him to swimming lessons. And then 0:15:20.400 --> 0:15:22.840 we moved to a place with no pool. So it's 0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:25.400 not you know, because as a kid I didn't do 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:27.880 swimming lessons. We had a pool, so we were constantly 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:30.720 in the pool, and we got really good around pools. 0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:32.880 We learned to swim, and I was like, that's what's 0:15:32.880 --> 0:15:35.200 going to happen with him. But because it hasn't and 0:15:35.280 --> 0:15:37.280 a year's gone by, I'm like, Fuck, this kid's going 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:39.560 to be sixteen before he's learned how to swim. 0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:42.920 You know, it's so funny you bring that up. I 0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:45.880 was thinking the other day how the older I'm getting, 0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:48.720 the more selfish I'm getting as a parent. I'm like, what, 0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:51.720 I'm same, You're like, I think if I had heard 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:56.000 this is where like judgmental opinions shouldn't really judge until 0:15:56.160 --> 0:15:58.880 you're in it. But like, my daughter is sixteen now, 0:15:58.960 --> 0:16:01.600 she's studying. She's gonna go get her learners. It's amazing, 0:16:01.920 --> 0:16:03.760 it's amazing. But I don't want to do the I 0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:06.240 don't want to do the driving because it's not in 0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:08.840 my nature to do that anyway, Like I would make 0:16:08.880 --> 0:16:10.080 her so anxious. 0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:13.320 Stop. Yeah, you'd be awful at that. 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:18.640 But even like, it's my son's birthday on Monday, and 0:16:18.680 --> 0:16:21.520 he says, on Sunday, can we go to the zoo? 0:16:22.600 --> 0:16:22.640 No? 0:16:23.240 --> 0:16:26.280 Fucking I can't tell you how much I hate the zoo. 0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:28.200 That's so cute. He still wants to go. 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:30.680 He wants to go to the zoo. Can we go 0:16:30.720 --> 0:16:32.480 the four of us to the zoo and the four 0:16:32.480 --> 0:16:34.280 of you two not even a friend? He just wants 0:16:34.320 --> 0:16:36.840 to just the four of us. No, But this is 0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:40.000 another thing. So there's the zoo thing. I'm trying to 0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:42.760 say something else. Do you want to do something else? Na, 0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:44.320 I really like to go to the zoo. 0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:46.440 Not the local. Why don't we just go to the local. 0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:48.000 Mall, even if he said he wants to go go 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:52.400 karting or something. But the zoo. I've never liked the zoo. 0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:54.560 I don't like the smell. I don't like the crowds. 0:16:54.720 --> 0:16:58.200 I don't like the waiting in line to look at 0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:01.480 an animal that is trapped and you can't even see 0:17:01.520 --> 0:17:04.440 it properly anyway. The food's shit. I just I really 0:17:04.480 --> 0:17:07.000 hate this way, but I really hate the zoo. Look, 0:17:07.080 --> 0:17:09.720 I'll go if you wants to go. But I also 0:17:09.880 --> 0:17:12.520 every year, like I don't have people over often because 0:17:12.520 --> 0:17:15.240 I'm not an entertainer. I don't enjoy it right, fair enough, 0:17:15.400 --> 0:17:19.120 But every year I have our family over for our kids' birthdays, right, 0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:21.400 and it's a lot of people. It ends up being 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:22.959 about twenty five people all up. 0:17:23.040 --> 0:17:24.640 Oh my god. 0:17:24.640 --> 0:17:26.239 I said to Mark, I don't want to do it 0:17:26.240 --> 0:17:28.320 this year. I don't have it in me to do it. 0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:30.439 I really don't want it. I said, I feel like 0:17:30.560 --> 0:17:33.400 I can't cope with it this year because he goes. 0:17:33.440 --> 0:17:35.240 But we'll just get pizzas and stuff. And I said, 0:17:36.040 --> 0:17:38.760 for you, it's just getting pizzas. For me, it's having 0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:41.160 to make sure everything's clean. You know, if I've got 0:17:41.240 --> 0:17:43.920 shit in my Like I call it the apartment. There's 0:17:43.920 --> 0:17:45.600 a room I've got downstairs where I work and stuff. 0:17:45.600 --> 0:17:47.879 I've got fucking ironing and shit all piled in there. 0:17:47.880 --> 0:17:50.080 And I'm like, it's a whole thing. 0:17:50.920 --> 0:17:54.520 It's another thing. It's also just having people in your space. 0:17:54.600 --> 0:17:57.840 When you're a capacity, having people in your space, you 0:17:57.960 --> 0:18:01.040 still got to make sure everyone's okay, everyone's got to drink, 0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:03.919 everyone happy, Like it's on you. You're the host, even if 0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:04.679 it's just pizza. 0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:07.160 I know, what are you gonna do? I mean, I'm 0:18:07.160 --> 0:18:09.240 gonna I'm gonna end up having it, I know it. 0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:12.200 Yeah, Well, twenty five people is a lot of people 0:18:12.200 --> 0:18:14.639 for an immediate party. That means that do you go 0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:17.399 to somebody's house for all twenty five of those people? 0:18:18.160 --> 0:18:20.920 No? Well some of them are like say, for example, 0:18:20.960 --> 0:18:23.160 Mark's auntie. She did it with her kids, but now 0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:25.119 her kids are older, so she doesn't do it anymore. 0:18:25.160 --> 0:18:26.520 But we just kept it going. 0:18:26.480 --> 0:18:28.800 Fuel because go on, get to like twenty five birthday 0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:31.320 parties every year. Do you know what I mean? If 0:18:31.600 --> 0:18:33.760 if you had to then go reciprocate and go back 0:18:33.800 --> 0:18:36.640 to their house, Oh. 0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:38.639 Yeah, no, it's just my it's just my niece and nephews. Really. 0:18:38.760 --> 0:18:41.520 Everyone else is like, you know, older kids or whatever, 0:18:41.520 --> 0:18:42.960