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Speaker 1: Fitsy and with with Kate Ritchie podcast Ladies and Gentlemen,

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Speaker 1: Girls Gaze and Nay's. Welcome to the Far Too Personal Podcast,

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Speaker 1: where I have managed to track down the author of

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Speaker 1: the newest erotic novel to hit the shelves. No need

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Speaker 1: for a pause, The Far Too Personal Trainer. Michael Whipley,

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the podcast and congratulations on your ability to

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Speaker 1: write a book.

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Speaker 2: Well, thank you so much, Jess. Can I just ask

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Speaker 2: where you're from?

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Speaker 1: What? Yes, I'm from your show The Breakfast Show Nov.

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Speaker 1: Ninety six point n'em Fitzy Whipper and Kate.

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Speaker 2: Richard right, a really interesting introduction. I appreciate it. When

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Speaker 2: you said Nay's is that the equine community.

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Speaker 1: I said they in all our non binary friends.

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Speaker 2: I was sure if we had some all nay listening.

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Speaker 2: That's fine, Jess, thanks for having me on this podcast. Yes,

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Speaker 2: appropriately titled The Far Too Personal Trainer. I'm not a

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Speaker 2: personal trainer, but what I am is an author. Now

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Speaker 2: that doesn't mean I need to wear a beret or

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Speaker 2: some thing artistic to say that I have had a

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Speaker 2: wild creative flair in my day. But yes, I have

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Speaker 2: written a book which is an erotic novel.

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Speaker 3: And the first question I have for you is this legit?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: Because we've been pushing this out on the show, You've

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Speaker 1: been going and doing morning.

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Speaker 3: Television and all of that.

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Speaker 1: There's a website apparently we give a code name out

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Speaker 1: every day.

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Speaker 3: But is this legit? Did you do this with a

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Speaker 3: legit intention in mind?

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Speaker 2: The book is one hundred percent legitimate, and the idea

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Speaker 2: behind it was to write a successful erotic novel.

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Speaker 3: And so far you've written an erotic novel.

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Speaker 2: Which is getting successful. So it's building Jess far too

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Speaker 2: personal trainer dot com is the website you were talking about. Yes,

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Speaker 2: you know what's interesting? I honestly thought, wouldn't it be

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Speaker 2: fun to write a book? Right, there's one. Wouldn't it

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Speaker 2: be fun to write something that people would talk about?

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Speaker 2: That's the erotic novel. Wouldn't it be fun to challenge

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Speaker 2: fifty shades of gray and see if this thing had

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Speaker 2: legs and more than just Matt Degrut's legs on the

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Speaker 2: front of it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, he's done a good job there, job that's men's legacy.

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Speaker 1: Well, this is what I want to know, right, So

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Speaker 1: I want to unpack the writing process.

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Speaker 3: So you start the book off.

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Speaker 1: It's written as Ben Holder, which is first of all,

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Speaker 1: quite jarring for the reader. Can you explain that a

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Speaker 1: little bit how it actually works in terms of what

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Speaker 1: you're reading first person, second person, third person, what are

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Speaker 1: we talking?

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Speaker 3: Fourth person?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, great question, Jess, Thanks so much for the opportunity

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Speaker 2: to share, to share what was interesting. I've never written

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Speaker 2: a book before, believe it or not, and I just

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Speaker 2: thought a lot of books that I have read, maybe

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Speaker 2: one a decade ago, it was he said, she said,

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Speaker 2: He said, she said. So I wrote it like you're

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Speaker 2: watching a documentary. So it's as if Ben Holder, the

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Speaker 2: main character, the personal trainer, is being followed by a camera,

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Speaker 2: and so Ben is talking to the camera. And I

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Speaker 2: think that's quite a trend, which you'll see on TV these.

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Speaker 3: Days or ahead of the curve.

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Speaker 2: It was, Yeah, it's funny you bring that up. But

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Speaker 2: now that you'll see a lot in TV where there'll

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Speaker 2: be a scene happening and then the person in the

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Speaker 2: scene will turn to address the camera, which is the viewer.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, cutting through that fourth pot. We see that a

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Speaker 1: lot in the Modern Family or the Office.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and you'll see it over here there's the action.

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Speaker 2: And then I thought to myself, what is he even

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Speaker 2: talking about? And then they go back to the scene.

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Speaker 2: That's what I was trying to create, or that's what

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Speaker 2: I was leading all these streaming services into. Whichever way

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Speaker 2: you look at your words, Michael, So when he talks,

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Speaker 2: he talks to the camera. So you're right because it's

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Speaker 2: slightly jarring because it's a different way of writing. But

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Speaker 2: it's like I'm talking to you. So that's why at

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Speaker 2: the start of the book, I say I'm talking to

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Speaker 2: you the.

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Speaker 1: Reader, because there's been rumblings around the office that maybe

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Speaker 1: you just weren't bothered to finish each quote, you know,

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Speaker 1: of a sentence when someone's talking with said Ben, or

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Speaker 1: said said the bulky trainer, and have to describe things,

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Speaker 1: and you've just maybe taken the easy way out.

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Speaker 2: Now it's not the easy way out because the hardest

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Speaker 2: part about that is when in conversation to avoid saying

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Speaker 2: he said, she said, you have to add in things

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Speaker 2: like Ben looked at her, and then the comment comes out.

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Speaker 2: So you have to creatively make sure that the reader

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Speaker 2: knows where it is. And a lot of those set

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Speaker 2: up through painting the picture because I go into quite

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Speaker 2: a lot of detail because I'm very much a visual person, Jess.

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Speaker 1: Yes, that's quite evident by the illustrations in the back

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Speaker 1: of the book.

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Speaker 3: Or was that just the copy? IROs that was just

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Speaker 3: my own sketches, And thank you for our label. Have

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Speaker 3: you everything so clearly white to be.

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Speaker 2: Education diagram on where different bits are what I want.

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Speaker 1: To sort of stop down on right now because it

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Speaker 1: is an erotic novel.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, when you've written the book right, and you've got

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Speaker 1: all the set up scenes and we meet the characters

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Speaker 1: of Ben and Emily and everyone like that, when we

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Speaker 1: get to the first scene that you had to write

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Speaker 1: that gets a little spicy.

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Speaker 3: What was going through your head? Are you feeling a

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Speaker 3: little bit naughty?

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Speaker 2: Yep?

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Speaker 1: Did you think this is inappropriate? What would my mother

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Speaker 1: be thinking at this time? Or did it flow so

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Speaker 1: naturally that most of us should be concerned?

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Speaker 3: Do you know?

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Speaker 2: It did flow quite naturally. But take like if we

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Speaker 2: the spicy part, I mean, sure, you have to create

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Speaker 2: the image in your mind or you're not able to

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Speaker 2: describe it or talk about it, right, So yes, you

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Speaker 2: paint the picture. Some of the parts in there, Jess,

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Speaker 2: are real. When I say real, they're inspired by true events.

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Speaker 2: But I one in particular is about a personal trainer,

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Speaker 2: and it involves her in the garage and him coming

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Speaker 2: in to train her that day. So when you get

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Speaker 2: to that bit, you'll know that that's a true story.

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Speaker 2: But there's other things, like there's about the time. There's

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Speaker 2: a part where he meets Emily for the first time

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Speaker 2: and he has just found a English to German dictionary, right,

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Speaker 2: and he's pretending to be German at the bar, and

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Speaker 2: then she comes out and says, oh you're German. I'm

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Speaker 2: just I'm heading to Germany. I'm going over to a study.

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Speaker 2: Now he has to work out whether to keep the

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Speaker 2: accent up or not. This is also a true story

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Speaker 2: about a mate of mine. I won't mention any names.

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Speaker 2: Go on, I won't mention any name.

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Speaker 3: Go on, I'll beep it.

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Speaker 2: I won't mention any names. But you know, he went

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Speaker 2: out one night. This was a great story, Hamish Blake.

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Speaker 2: And he went out one night and found on the

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Speaker 2: way to the pub a Australia Australia to German dictionary, right,

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Speaker 2: so the translation book. He gets the pub, he meets

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Speaker 2: a girl, he pretends to be German. This actually happened.

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Speaker 2: He then kissed the girl at the pub, right the

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Speaker 2: next thing, you know, and he knew at the time

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Speaker 2: that she was a school teacher, right yeah. So he

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Speaker 2: then is invited to go and talk at a school.

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Speaker 2: This woman still thinks he's German.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, he's.

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Speaker 2: Invited to go and speak it to school. He gets

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Speaker 2: up there on stage to speak at the leg terum

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Speaker 2: looks over and there's the girl. So then obviously the

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Speaker 2: joke is over. She doesn't look him in the eyes

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Speaker 2: because she feels like.

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Speaker 3: This guy's completely commit to the bit.

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Speaker 2: What he turns up and everybody goes from harsh Andy

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Speaker 2: hamish Blake.

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Speaker 3: There's name, sorry, homes Hamish Blake.

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Speaker 2: He can't for the crowd of eight hundred choose to

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Speaker 2: focus on one and keep the good German accent going.

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Speaker 1: Do you not say good everyone? But I would like

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Speaker 1: to do it in my native tongue that's not German.

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Speaker 3: But I haven't spoken to so.

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Speaker 2: Those little little bits of detail that are built into

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Speaker 2: the book from moments in my past which I've sort

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Speaker 2: of collected and banked in my head as funny relationship moments,

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Speaker 2: Well I like.

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Speaker 3: That, and that is a great moment in the novel.

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Speaker 1: I mean, there are so many standout moments in terms

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Speaker 1: of when you do get to those saucier bits, And

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Speaker 1: there's the language whip. It's quite it can be graphics

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Speaker 1: of the scene beautifully written, but quite aggressive to read

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Speaker 1: in one's mind.

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Speaker 2: Before with the word aggressive, I think what's interesting to

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Speaker 2: point out for all the females thinking about reading it

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Speaker 2: is that all the women hit on Ben. Ben never

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Speaker 2: hits on a girl in this is in love with

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Speaker 2: Emily at one stage, but he never, never, never hits

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Speaker 2: on the girls.

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Speaker 1: So Ben, it's definitely not an autobiography.

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Speaker 2: He is treated like a piece of mate sometimes, and

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Speaker 2: you know what, He's all right with that. It works

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Speaker 2: for him and it works for them. He likes married women.

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Speaker 3: And they like him. Evidently.

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Speaker 1: I just want to know this is because I'm here

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Speaker 1: with the author. Yeah, yeah, you don't often get this

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Speaker 1: opportunity to gratulation.

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Speaker 3: Thanks you, and thank you for the privilege and the

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Speaker 3: pleasure which is all mine. You're writing it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, did you have to do any erotic research in

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Speaker 1: order to write some of these scenes or is it

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Speaker 1: just your imagination went wild?

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Speaker 3: I'm going to batter against the desk.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, Jess, No, I didn't do any research. There's only

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Speaker 2: one bit of research I did for it, and that

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Speaker 2: was to look up a certain stretch that personal trainers do.

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Speaker 3: Where het websites that on.

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Speaker 2: The far too personal trainer dot com, and that's where

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Speaker 2: you'll learn about the stretch that the personal trainer does

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Speaker 2: with a couple of females where one woman during the

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Speaker 2: stretch stares into his eyes with a bit of a glint.

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Speaker 2: What happens next? You'll have to find out.

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Speaker 3: Can I just say, can I do.

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Speaker 2: This stretch for you now?

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Speaker 3: And stop trying? That would be sorry, That would be nice.

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Speaker 1: In terms of an excuse for being caught on an

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Speaker 1: adult website, writing an erotic novel is actually genius, isn't it.

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Speaker 1: Thank you use You can only use it one time,

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Speaker 1: can't you? Oh honey, I wasn't on that for that reason,

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Speaker 1: And you do have to then write a novel, which

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Speaker 1: I feel like maybe it did. That's that's where this

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Speaker 1: has stemmed from. You got caught out looking at a

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Speaker 1: little bit of no adult context.

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Speaker 2: I would never do that militarymend dot com. Maybe, Jess,

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Speaker 2: there's an only fans page in this I would read

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Speaker 2: the book and you pay for.

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Speaker 3: A month to get you to put your shirt back on,

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Speaker 3: and I.

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Speaker 2: Read the chapter out, so you watch me read the book.

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Speaker 2: What do you reckon? People would love that?

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Speaker 3: I don't know. I mean maybe if we have any.

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Speaker 2: It's not often the author will ask the interview office

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Speaker 2: on fans.

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Speaker 1: Look, we might have blind fans out there, right only

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Speaker 1: fans might be the place to go, only because it's

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Speaker 1: cheaper than the audiobook, which is available now twenty dollars

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Speaker 1: ninety nine cents the far Too Personal trainer dot com.

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Speaker 2: Jess, would you like me just to give you a

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Speaker 2: slight bit here, a small reading which I feel would

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Speaker 2: be appropriate.

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Speaker 3: That would be wonderful.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's not off that I do the readings.

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Speaker 2: We get big names late. We asked Russell.

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Speaker 1: Crowe, based on all the live reads we do, I

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Speaker 1: didn't even realize you could read.

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Speaker 3: But please, Russell.

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Speaker 2: Crowe, he was keen on the idea. Hasn't done it?

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Speaker 2: He said, He said no, but he was definitely on text.

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Speaker 2: This girl goes down to the gym. Her name is Mia,

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Speaker 2: Ben has actually trained her mum, which is great. Her

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Speaker 2: name is Annabelle, who carried the lamp.

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Speaker 3: In for Oh yes, you know the saucy lamps.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. Okay, so here we go. I'm doing

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Speaker 2: her ponytail. She tilts her head back, waving hair from

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Speaker 2: side to side. No man, no matter whether he's wise

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Speaker 2: or simple, strong or weak, wealthy or poor, can ignore this.

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Speaker 2: I'm a man and she is a woman, and right

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Speaker 2: now we are both wanting more. Her breath is getting

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Speaker 2: heavier against my neck, holding me tighter and tighter as

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Speaker 2: she's preparing for how her body will react. I can

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Speaker 2: feel the lace on the back of my hand as

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Speaker 2: I slide. I'll stop. I'm going to stop there because

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Speaker 2: the slider is sliding his hand in. Slide on down.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what this is the this is the

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Speaker 1: far too personal podcast?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, read the next line.

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Speaker 1: I know I'm an Employeeah yeah, adjacent to being my boss.

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Speaker 3: But go on, I want to hear it.

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Speaker 2: No one walk in, please, no one walk in. And

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Speaker 2: if this is still good to be true, if this

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Speaker 2: is a joke set up by the boys, then finally

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Speaker 2: you've chosen a brilliant method actor. And secondly, please don't

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Speaker 2: surprise us now I'm just warming up. God, how can

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Speaker 2: she be so excited? Ben stop? Stop, shit, don't tell

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Speaker 2: me she's freaking out. She's pull her hand from.

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Speaker 3: Who come on, big breath. It can't be that bad.

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Speaker 3: You wrote it.

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Speaker 2: Ripping my shorts down, I think I can film my

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Speaker 2: heart no snapping back against my stomach. I am all

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Speaker 2: on show. It is free from my shorts and a spipe.

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Speaker 3: No, no, I shouldn't. I shouldn't have to this. I

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Speaker 3: shouldn't have to listen to this.

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Speaker 2: This is a workplace. No full audio book, Jess no vailable.

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Speaker 2: The Far Too Person honestly can't hear anymore.

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Speaker 3: Can't hear anymore.

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Speaker 2: He's just taking his shorts off, dropping to her knees. No, no, no, okay.

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Speaker 3: All right, let's let's jump in. We'll do another pod soon.

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Speaker 1: I want to hear your favorite part from the book,

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Speaker 1: so your job, go away, grab the audio.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, was that a bit rough? Let me kiss

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Speaker 2: it better?

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Speaker 3: All right, turning off the mics.

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Speaker 2: Okay, see you for the next episode of The Far

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Speaker 2: Too Personal Trainer and Wipper with Kate.

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Speaker 3: Ritchie is a Nova podcast. For more great comedy shows

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Speaker 3: like this, Head to Nova podcast Calm Jodd, are you