1 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,920 Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, Welcome back to another episode of Mojo Monday. 2 00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:16,720 Speaker 1: I'm Cauli Taylor, and this week I'd like to touch 3 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 1: on something that I have found really fascinating and it's 4 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:23,919 Speaker 1: something that I'm currently studying in my Masters and counseling, 5 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:29,440 Speaker 1: and that is the connection between our early childhood experiences 6 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 1: and how we handle stress as adults. So, when we're young, 7 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 1: our brains are developing rapidly, especially in the first thousand days, 8 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 1: and the environment we grow up in plays a huge 9 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:47,120 Speaker 1: role in shaping how we respond to the world around us. 10 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 1: Our brains are like a Bonzoi tree, So you know, 11 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: the Bonzoi master he or she shapes the tree by 12 00:00:56,160 --> 00:01:00,200 Speaker 1: trimming it and hanging weights on the branches, and then 13 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:05,440 Speaker 1: the tree grows into this unique shape. And that's like 14 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 1: our brains, which are shaped by a process called synaptic preening. 15 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 1: And it's our environment, our emotional experiences, and of course 16 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,840 Speaker 1: the people in our lives that uniquely shape our brains 17 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 1: when we're young and as we grow. Now, if you've 18 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:28,000 Speaker 1: experienced a traumatic event or events things like war, physical 19 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:35,360 Speaker 1: and emotional abuse, neglect, isolation, or intergenerational trauma or ongoing trauma, 20 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:42,160 Speaker 1: your brain will disproportionately be shaped through this process. Even 21 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 1: if you didn't go through these more extreme traumatic events, 22 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:50,280 Speaker 1: you still may have experienced an environment which was challenging 23 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 1: growing up, and these have likely influenced your default stress 24 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: response today. So depending on your environment will depend on 25 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 1: how your brain may have adapted by becoming more sensitive 26 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:08,480 Speaker 1: to stress. And it's your brain doing its job to 27 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,680 Speaker 1: keep you safe and to keep you alive. But what 28 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 1: happens is this response becomes maladaptive, which means in your 29 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:21,640 Speaker 1: current environment it cannoten not be helpful. So sometimes we 30 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 1: can feel really stuck. But we can gradually change our 31 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:29,560 Speaker 1: brains by what we do now, and that's by weakening 32 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:34,120 Speaker 1: those connections that are maybe not helpful to us and 33 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 1: then strengthening new ones that are so understanding why we 34 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:42,480 Speaker 1: respond to stress the way we do can be really empowering. 35 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:46,640 Speaker 1: It's not about labeling these experiences as good or bad, 36 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 1: but just having that knowledge and recognizing that they are 37 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 1: there for a reason. And so it's really good to 38 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:57,520 Speaker 1: have this awareness. And for me, I realized that some 39 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 1: of my own stress responses will linked to my childhood experiences, 40 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,920 Speaker 1: some of which were very challenging for me. And just 41 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 1: by being aware of it, I now can choose to 42 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:14,760 Speaker 1: respond differently to my automatic stress response rather than getting 43 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 1: all caught up in it. And that's what I want 44 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:20,280 Speaker 1: to share with you today, So not to be a 45 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 1: victim of the past or to blame, but to understand 46 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:29,360 Speaker 1: how you can understand and influence your emotions in the present. 47 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:35,680 Speaker 1: And the understanding and thinking about this is really it's helpful, 48 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:39,320 Speaker 1: but it's not enough because that's just knowledge without the action. 49 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 1: That's like staying in a library accumulating all this knowledge 50 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 1: but not actually doing anything with it. So I've done 51 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 1: a few Mijo mondis on how we can respond differently 52 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 1: to our thoughts and our emotions using ACT which is 53 00:03:56,000 --> 00:04:00,880 Speaker 1: acceptance and commitment therapy and Japanese psychology to work on 54 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,360 Speaker 1: that mindset stuff. You can go back and have a 55 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 1: listen to those episodes if you are interested in some 56 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,880 Speaker 1: mindset tools. But today I'm going to talk about something 57 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:15,120 Speaker 1: that's made a huge difference to me, and that is 58 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,719 Speaker 1: what I do on a daily basis over and above 59 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:23,279 Speaker 1: these mindset tools. And this is about action and working 60 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 1: not just on our minds and brains, but also our physiology. 61 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,400 Speaker 1: So if you want to be mentally fit, you have 62 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 1: to bring the body into it. And I have these 63 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:38,159 Speaker 1: daily rituals or non negotiables in place that work on 64 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:41,279 Speaker 1: my mindset and my physiology so I can be as 65 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:44,599 Speaker 1: optimal as I can each day. And when I say optimal, 66 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,400 Speaker 1: I just mean being the best that I can be 67 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:51,839 Speaker 1: whatever is going on in my life. So consistency is key, 68 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,840 Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean it's the same thing every day, 69 00:04:56,000 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 1: because life is forever changing and forever flowing, and we 70 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 1: get strown obstacles and curveballs which we then have to 71 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 1: adapt to. So what I do each day, or what 72 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,919 Speaker 1: I call the fundamentals, I find that when I commit 73 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: to them, I live better even when stress shows up, 74 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 1: and in fact that's the best time or the optimal 75 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:23,480 Speaker 1: time to keep going. And we should all be aware 76 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 1: of what our own unique baseline of our wellness is, 77 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 1: so everyone has their unique baseline, so yours will be 78 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 1: different to mine. And if you have a health condition 79 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:38,160 Speaker 1: that impedes you from doing some things or horror a 80 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,119 Speaker 1: lot of things, then you work out what you can 81 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 1: do and you work out your baseline. But having conditions 82 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 1: is not an excuse to do nothing. So what I 83 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,719 Speaker 1: want to share with you is how I manage my 84 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 1: baseline each day, and I hope if you are struggling 85 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 1: with stress that you'll consider what daily rituals are going 86 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:02,719 Speaker 1: to help you. And this baseline can change depending on 87 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:06,039 Speaker 1: what's going on. So it's not about an all or 88 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: nothing thinking. You know, what you can do one day 89 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 1: maybe different to the next. So, as I said earlier, 90 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 1: it's about adapting to life's demands, but doing the groundwork 91 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:21,479 Speaker 1: on the fundamentals to meet that baseline every day. So 92 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:28,279 Speaker 1: the fundamentals I'm talking about mindset, exercise, nutrition, sleep, and connection. 93 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:33,360 Speaker 1: And I've learned that when I don't prioritize these fundamentals, 94 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,400 Speaker 1: my day doesn't go as well full stop. I know 95 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 1: that because there's been plenty of times when that has happened. 96 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 1: So the first fundamental that I mentioned was mindset, but 97 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 1: I'm actually not going to talk about that today because 98 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 1: I've done plenty of Mojo mondays that you can access 99 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:55,600 Speaker 1: to learn about that. But I will start with exercise, 100 00:06:56,640 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 1: and exercise is hugely important to function well in all 101 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:04,040 Speaker 1: areas of life. So I am I'm not an athlete, 102 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:08,040 Speaker 1: I've never been that competitive, but I am dedicated to 103 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 1: moving my body every day throughout the day, So even 104 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,760 Speaker 1: when I'm really busy or I'm not in the mood, 105 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 1: I will do something because I know the consequences of 106 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 1: skipping it far outweighs any momentary discomfort. So if I 107 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,680 Speaker 1: can't do a full session. So I'm currently doing CrossFit, 108 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:34,280 Speaker 1: which I love, but if I can't do that, I'll 109 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:38,240 Speaker 1: do movement snacks throughout the day. And when I consistently 110 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: exercise whatever that looks like, I sleep better, I focus better, 111 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:49,240 Speaker 1: I feel stronger, and that strength in my body supports 112 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 1: the strength in my mind. Plus I'm a nice person 113 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:57,000 Speaker 1: to be around. You can just ask my family and nutrition. 114 00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:00,200 Speaker 1: Each day, I focus on my eating. I eat real 115 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 1: food and I keep sugar and ultra processed foods to 116 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:06,560 Speaker 1: a minimum. I limit my process carbs and I'm not 117 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 1: saying that you shouldn't eat them, but moderation is the key. 118 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:15,200 Speaker 1: And I've increased my protein intake to support my bone density, 119 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:18,880 Speaker 1: which I know is low because I've had dexic scans 120 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 1: that have shown that, and I want to maintain or 121 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,360 Speaker 1: even increase my muscle mass as I age, and I 122 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 1: carry a water bottle with me wherever I go and 123 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:33,439 Speaker 1: I sip water all day to ensure I'm hydrated. If 124 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 1: I don't drink water throughout the day, it affects my mood, 125 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:42,360 Speaker 1: it affects my energy levels. So it's incredibly important to 126 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 1: stay hydrated to make sure that I'm at that baseline. 127 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,320 Speaker 1: And I stop drinking caffeine by around twelve o'clock at 128 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:53,400 Speaker 1: the latest so it doesn't impede my sleep. And so 129 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:58,560 Speaker 1: let's talk about sleep now. It's a massive priority for me. 130 00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 1: It's the umbrella of all the fundamentals. If I don't 131 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,720 Speaker 1: have a good night's sleep, I will not be optimal 132 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,199 Speaker 1: the next day, and so that baseline that I've been 133 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:12,479 Speaker 1: talking about will move and everything else needs to be adjusted. 134 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:17,280 Speaker 1: So I have a pretty strict sleep routine. I stay 135 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:21,400 Speaker 1: off screens at least an hour before bed. I avoid 136 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:24,840 Speaker 1: alcohol during the week, which I do not just for 137 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:27,960 Speaker 1: my sleep, but also even if I have one or 138 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,400 Speaker 1: two glasses of wine, I know that it affects me 139 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:34,200 Speaker 1: the next day. I leave my phone charging outside of 140 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:38,840 Speaker 1: the bedroom. I have a routine that usually includes just 141 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: reading before bed, and I go to bed early most 142 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,760 Speaker 1: nights and wake up early. And this has had a 143 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 1: profound impact on my ability to manage my stress. If 144 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 1: I don't sleep well, I cannot expect to function at 145 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 1: my best. And there is a saying that I love 146 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:02,400 Speaker 1: the morning starts the night before for so just reflect 147 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:05,400 Speaker 1: on this. Now, what are you doing in the evening 148 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:10,560 Speaker 1: that could be reflecting or could be impacting your sleep 149 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 1: and then impact how you wake up in the morning. 150 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 1: So is there something that you could do tonight some 151 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 1: tweaks so that you wake up differently tomorrow morning. And 152 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:26,200 Speaker 1: if you have your mobile by your beard and you 153 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,480 Speaker 1: are checking socials or you're checking the news before you 154 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:33,680 Speaker 1: go to sleep, then I can guarantee that you will 155 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:37,880 Speaker 1: not be sleeping well. It's going to disrupt Sorry, you're 156 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:41,640 Speaker 1: circadian timing due to that blue light exposure, and your 157 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:45,720 Speaker 1: brain is going to be stimulated relative to whatever content 158 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,880 Speaker 1: is that you're watching. And then if the first thing 159 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 1: you do in the morning is check your phone before 160 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 1: you've even put your feet on the ground, that is 161 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:58,880 Speaker 1: going to affect or have an impact on how you 162 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:02,480 Speaker 1: manage your stress level. And it certainly won't help because 163 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 1: what's happening is your brain is on high alert before 164 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:09,679 Speaker 1: you've even said good morning to your kids. So if 165 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:13,400 Speaker 1: you can do it. Buy an alarm clock and get 166 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,720 Speaker 1: your mobile phone out of the room and even just 167 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:20,720 Speaker 1: experiment with it. Do that for two weeks and just 168 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 1: see whether it affects your sleep, and see whether it 169 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 1: affects your energy levels throughout the day. And then connection 170 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:36,040 Speaker 1: connection with family and friends is also essential. I prioritize 171 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 1: quality time with Paul and the kids. I try to 172 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,920 Speaker 1: be as present as possible. I check in with my 173 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,480 Speaker 1: extended family, though I probably could do that more often. 174 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:49,679 Speaker 1: I make time to connect with friends whenever I can. 175 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 1: And I'm going to throw in their connection with nature. 176 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:57,000 Speaker 1: So if you're anxious or you are low in energy, 177 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:01,560 Speaker 1: just going for a walk and notice the trees, noticing 178 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:05,000 Speaker 1: the birds and the clouds in the sky can have 179 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:08,560 Speaker 1: a huge impact on your energy levels because nature is 180 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:14,800 Speaker 1: such an energy booster. So these fundamentals are like my 181 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:19,000 Speaker 1: daily anchors. And because I've struggled with my stress, how 182 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:22,040 Speaker 1: I respond to stress, and you know that inner chatter 183 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:26,640 Speaker 1: in my mind, these daily non negotiables, they what they 184 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:31,040 Speaker 1: do is they keep my baseline at a good optimal level, 185 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:35,199 Speaker 1: which means that I live well even when the stress 186 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:40,840 Speaker 1: is present. So as you go through this week, consider 187 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:45,960 Speaker 1: how your early experiences might still be influencing your stress 188 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 1: response today. And remember you're not a victim of the past. 189 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:53,680 Speaker 1: You are in control of the present. So if you 190 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:58,199 Speaker 1: do the fundamentals each day and keep that baseline at 191 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:01,640 Speaker 1: a level where you can function of deimale even when 192 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:05,360 Speaker 1: stress is present, you will find it makes a huge 193 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:09,520 Speaker 1: difference to your life. So thank you so much for 194 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,960 Speaker 1: joining me, and I will catch you next week. Dear