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Speaker 1: Sitsy and with her with Cave Richie podcast.

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Speaker 2: This was last Thursday afternoon. I want to paint a

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Speaker 2: picture for you, like any other household. We were sitting

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Speaker 2: around it was four o'clock in the afternoon, and fed them, well,

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Speaker 2: you know what, normally it is a little bit wide.

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Speaker 2: And Jack was sitting there. His head was down. He

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Speaker 2: looked flat, and I said, mate, how is your day?

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Speaker 2: Is everything all right at school? He said it wasn't

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Speaker 2: good today. Dad. I was there. I was having a

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Speaker 2: making a sandwich or something. And what at school? No, no, no,

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Speaker 2: you're not allowed to be there. No, it was four

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Speaker 2: o'clock in the afternoon. Sorry, same, I was making sandwich, so.

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Speaker 3: You were in the kitchen. What was onlock?

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Speaker 2: Sandwich? A sandwich at four o'clock. I found myself hungry,

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Speaker 2: so he probably slept all day. Salami and sauce, the

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Speaker 2: Big Bears dinner in two hours. Just have a couple

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Speaker 2: of nuts, the Big Bears got.

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Speaker 4: To and if I don't need it, I'll make it

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Speaker 4: and take it back to the cave for later.

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Speaker 2: When I allowed again, Kate Richie. Someone called the show

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Speaker 2: and called me porky this morning. Do they call me

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Speaker 2: porker or porky, porky porky like.

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Speaker 3: DoD you have you were you just wearing your T

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Speaker 3: shirt without your beds.

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Speaker 2: No like going from from whipper to whopper and then

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Speaker 2: to porky. I just it was a step too far

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Speaker 2: from me into context.

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Speaker 5: The sandwiches at four o'clock in the afternoon.

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Speaker 2: That's why hello fits and porky. Anyway, we move on.

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Speaker 2: I said to Jack, what's going to go through?

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Speaker 3: I said, that was in the car.

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Speaker 2: Really good voice you did. And Jack said, wasn't a

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Speaker 2: good day? I said, what happened? Mate? I said, someone

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Speaker 2: threw a tennis ball at me and it hit me

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Speaker 2: really hard in the back. That would hurt. And I said, right, well,

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Speaker 2: did you pick it up and throw it back?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Wait up, you don't have to react. Wife steps in

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Speaker 2: what I said, did you pick it up and throw

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Speaker 2: it back? Did you nail the kid that threw the

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Speaker 2: ball at you? I got a hand a palm to

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Speaker 2: the face from my wife, like a stop talking and

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Speaker 2: how Tommy does that to U? K? Yeah, I got

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Speaker 2: to stop talking.

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Speaker 3: Well that's enough, Like it's like, whoo up, that's enough.

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Speaker 3: I've heard enough.

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Speaker 2: That is the wrong advice, and then it was well,

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Speaker 2: Dad always said it's okay to hit back if you

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Speaker 2: get hit. You said that, that's what Jack said to Lisa,

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Speaker 2: and Lisa, yes, lost it. It's not an eye for

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Speaker 2: an eye. That's not how the world works. And there

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Speaker 2: they're taking eyes out. You're like, oh, that's how serious

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Speaker 2: the school is. And I said no, no, no, because the

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Speaker 2: problem is I had taught the guard the boys. If

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Speaker 2: if someone was to hit you, or you think something's

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Speaker 2: going to happen, there's a movie you can do where

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Speaker 2: you can push them away without actually hitting them, and

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Speaker 2: that's probably a better thing to do than to strike

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Speaker 2: them back. You learn that martial arts amarra can't focused

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Speaker 2: strength confidence. Is it hammer fist, not a back fist,

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Speaker 2: not a hammer, not a forward part either.

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Speaker 5: You can only do it if they came, if they

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Speaker 5: come at you. Yes, you're distracting.

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Speaker 3: So it's just one move that is not necessarily aggressive.

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Speaker 3: It's blocking.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. So someone says to you, hey, did you hit them? No,

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Speaker 2: I didn't hit them. I just pushed him away because

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Speaker 2: he was in my space. He was in my space

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Speaker 2: and I think that's okay to do, and I also

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Speaker 2: think it's fair to say, if I'm hit with the

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Speaker 2: tennis ball and someone's throwing it at me, well you

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Speaker 2: just started it. I'm going to throw the ball back

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Speaker 2: at it.

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Speaker 3: That's the opposite to what you just said.

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Speaker 4: You just said pushing away, and now you've said, strike

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Speaker 4: up the tins ball and get back at The.

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Speaker 2: Punch is different because a punch is extremely confronting. If

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Speaker 2: someone punches you in the face, then that's a real attack.

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Speaker 2: A tennis ball in the yard, I reckon, is a

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Speaker 2: B grade compared to a punch and landing a fist

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Speaker 2: on a chin.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So what's Lisa's take on it.

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Speaker 2: She's to the teacher. Okay, you go and speak to

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Speaker 2: the teacher. Now, you can go and talk to the teacher.

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Speaker 2: That's fine. Up until the age of maybe four, I reckon,

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Speaker 2: that's early learning. School year. Sometimes you got to take

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Speaker 2: them to the ghetto university, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 5: Oh, I don't think your kids are going to the

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Speaker 5: ghetto unit.

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Speaker 6: Sometimes you've got to build the street into the school yard,

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Speaker 6: you know what I mean. Sometimes you've got to teach

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Speaker 6: them it ain't all fair in this world and we

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Speaker 6: need to step up.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes the prison yard gets a bit rough.

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Speaker 4: Well, look, I do think there is merit, and you've

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Speaker 4: got to guard in back.

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Speaker 2: Sometime you want to have a crack at me, for

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Speaker 2: there's if you don't, then it can happen again. Now,

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Speaker 2: my mom said to me, there was this kid that

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Speaker 2: I used to rumble with a bit, and he always

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Speaker 2: used to say, all right, the last one up the

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Speaker 2: stairs as a girl or something like that, a different gender.

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Speaker 2: All four, you're still dealing with the news coat and

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Speaker 2: I and Mom said, next time he does it, grab

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Speaker 2: him by the throat and push him up against the wall.

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Speaker 2: And then let's see if he ever does it again. Oh,

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Speaker 2: he never did it again. And sometimes that's what I mean. Now,

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Speaker 2: you can tell me this is the worst parenting in

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Speaker 2: the world, but I tell you what, it's a rough

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Speaker 2: world out there. So you're going to need to You're

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Speaker 2: going to need to use your plums at some stage.

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Speaker 2: You're going to need to be ballsy, and you're going

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Speaker 2: to need to have a crack. There will be a

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Speaker 2: time you do have to stick our face.

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Speaker 3: But j has to have plums.

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Speaker 5: No, And Jack is also at school where you probably

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Speaker 5: eight of his notes in his class. Their dad's are lawyers,

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Speaker 5: so you could use them as relevant, completely irrelevant.

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Speaker 3: If you do that again, my daddy's going to get you.

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Speaker 2: With a legal documentary. Thirteen twenty four ten. What is

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Speaker 2: the correct thing to do here? Because Lisa said, it's

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Speaker 2: just not the right way forward. You can go up

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Speaker 2: to that kid and point in his face and tell

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Speaker 2: him to back off, and that's enough. That'll be okay.

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Speaker 2: And I said, yeah, for a while, until the kid

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Speaker 2: realizes that guy just points and shouts, and then that's

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Speaker 2: not enough. It's so what are you meant to do? Well,

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Speaker 2: you just go up to the teacher, said he throw it.

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Speaker 2: You just threw it. When the teacher goes, oh, you

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Speaker 2: got hit with the tennis ball, did you? Oh, I'll

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Speaker 2: don't speak to him. Hey, you don't throw the ball.

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Speaker 2: I think they're a bit better than that. And then

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Speaker 2: the next thing.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes imagine having a thousand kids every day telling younis

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Speaker 4: agree to be like, well, in the whole list of

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Speaker 4: things I got to do today, it's not high up.

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Speaker 4: That's not high steev or for throwing a tennis pall.

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Speaker 4: But it can it can backfire. It can backfire if

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Speaker 4: you tell your kid to do it and then they

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Speaker 4: can't gauge how much of a you know, retaliation that

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Speaker 4: is required. Then your kids the one the kid in trouble.

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Speaker 2: But I think the important part to remember is you

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Speaker 2: never started. You're the one just reacting. So the problem

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Speaker 2: is if your kid goes and punches some other kid

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Speaker 2: and he's the one starting the fight, that's a different

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Speaker 2: set of rules all together again, because that kid is

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Speaker 2: then clearly in the wrong.

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Speaker 3: It's so complex.

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Speaker 2: A kid who threw the tennis balls in the wrong,

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Speaker 2: not my boy, never my boy?

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Speaker 5: So was that the last time I'm going to throw

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Speaker 5: that asketball?

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Speaker 2: Like you in the office? What about Anthony and Kiraway?

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Speaker 2: What are your thoughts? Buddy?

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Speaker 7: One hundred percent agree with your fiste because when I

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Speaker 7: grew up, my dad told me the same thing. It

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Speaker 7: was to never go looking for a fight, but to

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Speaker 7: always finish it because I was actually a target for

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Speaker 7: bullies when I was younger in high school. And I

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Speaker 7: were talking years ago, because I was actually attacked by

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Speaker 7: a dog when I was youngest and my face was scarred.

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Speaker 7: So I would god things, and you know it's old

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Speaker 7: to tell the teachers, but teachers wouldn't do anything. So

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Speaker 7: you know, people keep doing it. So you go over

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Speaker 7: there and you fix them up yourself, and when you

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Speaker 7: beat them and they learned not to do it to

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Speaker 7: you again, because it's like, what, what can you know

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Speaker 7: teachers or anything through the kids don't get in trouble,

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Speaker 7: you know, they don't get the tenders or nothing. So

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Speaker 7: I'd risk it, you know, to say they say I

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Speaker 7: break the hands off policy. I would risk to get

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Speaker 7: a detention or anything, because I mean, you can't keep

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Speaker 7: going on because when you're doing your seat fool kids

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Speaker 7: that don't fight back and then they stab and you know,

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Speaker 7: things happen.

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Speaker 2: Nick in Penrith, Welcome to the show. You took it

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Speaker 2: a step further, did you.

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Speaker 1: Nicole Ideas? My daughter was verbally abused for months. We

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Speaker 1: were dealing with it, and then all of a sudden

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Speaker 1: it turned physical. I went to the school and they

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Speaker 1: told me they would speak to this child, and I

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Speaker 1: told them that's not good enough. So I actually went

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Speaker 1: to the police.

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Speaker 5: Wow, so what did the police do in this situation?

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Speaker 1: I actually went around to the other person's house and

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Speaker 1: spoke to the parents and this child and then the

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Speaker 1: next thing I know, she's actually left the school, which

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Speaker 1: was great.

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Speaker 2: What do you know what, even if it's just a

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Speaker 2: scare tactic, the police turning up on your front door

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Speaker 2: would be high impact. It's a high impact move, isn't it?

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Speaker 5: Or for any kid, for your own kids, that's not

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Speaker 5: a bad business. I mean, I suppose you can't pose

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Speaker 5: as a fake police were you?

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Speaker 3: Absolutely why not? In fact, you'll end up arrested.

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Speaker 5: But would parents actually pay you to go around way?

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Speaker 4: Imagine being a police person though, and having to do

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Speaker 4: all the things you're meant to do in your day,

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Speaker 4: and then also having to deal with issues for school kids.

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Speaker 4: You know, I do understand that sometimes you need to.

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Speaker 2: Be made it.

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Speaker 5: Kira is in Bringelli. You're a teacher. Where do you

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Speaker 5: sit on this issue? Kira?

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Speaker 8: Well, guys, I'm a teacher and a parent, so I'm

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Speaker 8: completely on the fence with this dilemma. You have this

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Speaker 8: whole old school thought of my kid needs to defend themselves.

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Speaker 8: But on the other side, you're like, as a teacher,

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Speaker 8: if you're not going to help this child talk to

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Speaker 8: this other child who's bullying him or hurting him, the

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Speaker 8: one who got hurt is going to end up being

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Speaker 8: the one who gets in trouble Because you never know

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Speaker 8: that first child who threw the ball is going to

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Speaker 8: end up dubbing. If you get the balls, he's back.

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Speaker 2: With a cur When someone comes to you and they've

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Speaker 2: let's say they've been picked on and it's constant or

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Speaker 2: something like that, do you then step in and speak

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Speaker 2: to the actual bully and say, hey, never again, it's

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Speaker 2: got to stop.

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Speaker 7: Now.

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Speaker 8: It's a very different world that we live in at

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Speaker 8: the moment. Guys, we grew up a completely different environment

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Speaker 8: stick up for yourself if you get push, push them

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Speaker 8: back kind of thing. These days, it's very very different.

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Speaker 8: Children are growing up in a very different environment where

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Speaker 8: they are exposed to bullies. Earlier on. We're talking to

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Speaker 8: children a lot sooner in the early years about bullies

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Speaker 8: and how to treat each other and how they should

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Speaker 8: be treated, and this approach that we take these days,

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Speaker 8: it's very different. We talk to a child straight away

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Speaker 8: someone's being bullied. We talk to them and explain the

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Speaker 8: situation that what it could lead to these kind of things.

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Speaker 8: For example, fitty and look like, if you guys were

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Speaker 8: in the school lyard and cop the ball to the back,

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Speaker 8: that child will only have one morning. If it happened again,

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Speaker 8: they would be on reflection. They would be in the

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Speaker 8: dp's office having a chat.

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Speaker 4: That's pret that you sound as though you're on top

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Speaker 4: of it, and you're the kind of teacher who would

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Speaker 4: be coming down on something and dealing with the children

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Speaker 4: very early on.

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Speaker 3: But I'm sure there.

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Speaker 4: Are parents out there whose kids are particular schools or

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Speaker 4: being taught by certain teachers who have so much going

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Speaker 4: on in their day anyway, they don't get around to this.

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Speaker 4: So the frustration is, I've spoken to the school, this

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Speaker 4: is continuing to happen.

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Speaker 3: My kid doesn't want to go to school. I just

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Speaker 3: don't know.

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Speaker 4: And then you get parents like Nicole having to go

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Speaker 4: to the police to deal with something that's not happening

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Speaker 4: where it probably should.

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Speaker 5: Shari and Gravestones, what are your thoughts?

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Speaker 3: R Hello, I'm with you.

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Speaker 7: If you throw the ball, expects it's come back harder

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Speaker 7: at you.

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Speaker 1: It's like doing the dishes at home with the siblings.

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Speaker 7: You want to start at tetails week, You're going to get.

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Speaker 3: One, yeshank, God, they hurt.

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Speaker 2: There's going to be a wide I'm.

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Speaker 7: Terrible at them.

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Speaker 3: I'm hopeless.

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Speaker 2: So I never started it and just high on the

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Speaker 2: five can really sting. That's the thing. I mean. You

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Speaker 2: can build in all the rules you want, and you

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Speaker 2: can call it a new world, but I'll tell you what,

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Speaker 2: it's still human behavior.

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Speaker 4: I mean maybe that's just because that was what we

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Speaker 4: were taught. I do think that kids are being taught

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Speaker 4: earlier now to use their their words. You know, when

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Speaker 4: they fertilize you, sometimes they don't work.

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Speaker 3: I understand this.

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Speaker 2: It's Gotti in the going. What are your thoughts made

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Speaker 2: with you?

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Speaker 9: I think kids need to stand up for themselves, not

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Speaker 9: so much to the extent and eye for an eye,

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Speaker 9: but I think the way we are we're bullying in

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Speaker 9: these days. I think we've got a lot we can

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Speaker 9: blame ourselves for that.

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Speaker 2: Blame ourselves, gott as in that what we've given them.

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Speaker 9: The chance to be believed dodgy advice, Right.

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Speaker 2: Okay, we're being too soft?

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Speaker 5: You mean, no, no, Look, I still believe that there

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Speaker 5: is a lot of mirror in using your voice.

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Speaker 2: First.

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Speaker 5: You can talk yourself out of a fight, Scottie, you

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Speaker 5: really can. And you know what, you probably come from

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Speaker 5: a hard background, just as I did with my old

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Speaker 5: man and my grandfather. But you just you know what

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Speaker 5: these days, I don't want to teach my kids that

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Speaker 5: I want to teach.

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Speaker 2: If you can talk yourself out of a fight, do

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Speaker 2: that first.

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Speaker 5: If someone's in your face, I understand that you tell

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Speaker 5: them to get out of your space.

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Speaker 2: But if they don't like Scotty saying, you've got to

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Speaker 2: go back to the streets man, okay, you know the

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Speaker 2: real hard street life. Man. Maybe I should have dropped

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Speaker 2: a man in there. I should have left the man.

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Speaker 2: But sometimes you don't know what burrow. I've been living

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Speaker 2: in a tough life. For the food, it's been hard, mate,

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Speaker 2: Just put a meal on the table, you know, chasing

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Speaker 2: leftover sausages.

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Speaker 5: Out in the front of the butcher, picking pearls over

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Speaker 5: in Hammelet and Ireland.

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Speaker 2: It's a bit easier these days, but growing up mate,

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Speaker 2: just to get a roof over me saying should we

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Speaker 2: just move on?

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Speaker 3: When your tickets to the weekend?

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Speaker 2: I don't know what to do?

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Speaker 3: And Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast.

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Speaker 7: For more great comedy shows like this, head to Nova

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Speaker 7: podcast dot com.

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Speaker 2: Joda Ye