Speaker 1: Welcome to Healthy Ish.
Speaker 2: Thanks for tuning into the daily podcasts from Body and Soul.
Speaker 2: I'm your host, Felicity Harley. Today we're joined by a
Speaker 2: business growth strategist and coach, Bianca Monley. Back in the day,
Speaker 2: she ran the uber successful food delivery service called Eat
Speaker 2: Fit Food. We're exploring the idea of a circle of influence,
Speaker 2: why you need to surround yourself with your right people,
Speaker 2: and also how to make friends as an adult. Listening
Speaker 2: to our sister podcast Extra Healthy Ish, where we talk
Speaker 2: about how to manifest your success in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: You can grab that one wherever get your podcasts.
Speaker 1: Banker, welcome back, Thank you, thank you n having you
Speaker 1: on the podcast again. How are you?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Really really wow, great to be here. Thank you.
Speaker 2: Now talk to us about the inner circle. I love
Speaker 2: this quote. You've got new book. It's called that app Well.
Speaker 2: It says the you are the average of the five
Speaker 2: people you spend time with. Yes, what what isn't in
Speaker 2: a circle and why is it important?
Speaker 3: Okay, So if you kind of have a look about
Speaker 3: your life and times that you may have had in
Speaker 3: your life where there may be one or two people
Speaker 3: or that are in you're in a circle who are
Speaker 3: dragging you down, maybe not supporting your bigger ideas, not
Speaker 3: lifting you. It can really have an effect on the
Speaker 3: way we live in our life and not pursuing our
Speaker 3: dreams and you know, not pursuing our health goals and
Speaker 3: things like that. So it's really really important to take
Speaker 3: notice of who is in you're in a circle. You
Speaker 3: know those top five people that we have as friends.
Speaker 3: I guess most people can't count them on more than
Speaker 3: five five fingers, but you know who are they and
Speaker 3: you know are they making you feel good? And are
Speaker 3: they uplifting you and supporting your goals and dreams.
Speaker 2: Has this been something I mean, you've been been successful
Speaker 2: in business, has this been something that you've that has
Speaker 2: developed if you've got old or has always been just
Speaker 2: a kind of mancher that you live by.
Speaker 1: I've developed it.
Speaker 3: And when I first started my business, I mean I
Speaker 3: was only twenty one, so I would take on anyone
Speaker 3: who could help me, you know, make meals and deliver
Speaker 3: them and whoever would help. And I found myself attracting
Speaker 3: people to kind of want to help them and lift
Speaker 3: them up. And you know, people who would always be late,
Speaker 3: and then I'd give them another chance, and just constantly
Speaker 3: hearing the stories and problems of what they were dealing
Speaker 3: with and what it had as a result was I
Speaker 3: was constantly dragged into you know, their life and.
Speaker 1: What was going on with their drama. Yeah, their lives.
Speaker 3: And their drama, and then I was pulled away from
Speaker 3: creating you know, great things within the business because there
Speaker 3: was always something wrong. So learning how to move people
Speaker 3: on after you know, a couple of chances in business
Speaker 3: was something I learned the hard way.
Speaker 1: You do you have how does it work for you?
Speaker 2: Do you have just five people who cross both business
Speaker 2: in life or do they kind of mesh into.
Speaker 3: Two or they I have a circle for business and
Speaker 3: circle for life and then they probably you know, mix
Speaker 3: into two.
Speaker 1: Obviously.
Speaker 3: You know, my family and my partner are all very
Speaker 3: very supportive, and you know they cheer me on for everything,
Speaker 3: which is incredible having that support in the home but
Speaker 3: also in business. And you know, I constantly on a
Speaker 3: Monday morning, I'm like, who do I look up to?
Speaker 1: Who do I admire?
Speaker 3: Who would I reach out to? And you know, through
Speaker 3: social media and just providing positive comments and what people
Speaker 3: are doing to you know, it will lift them as well,
Speaker 3: and just making sure you're connecting with those people who
Speaker 3: really inspire you.
Speaker 2: Well, I think it has to work both ways, right,
Speaker 2: You need to lift people up, but you need people
Speaker 2: to lift you up. You talked before about getting I
Speaker 2: mean I hate saying getting rid of people, but letting
Speaker 2: people people out of that inner circle.
Speaker 1: How do you how have you learned to do that?
Speaker 3: Well, you can still be there for people, it's just
Speaker 3: not necessarily helping to feed the drama. So instead of
Speaker 3: engaging and giving advice or you know, I don't know,
Speaker 3: relationship problems, Oh, you shouldn't be with him, or that's
Speaker 3: you know, that's he's doing these terrible things. And so
Speaker 3: instead of feeding the issues and the problem, changing your
Speaker 3: dialogue around you know something supportive, Oh you know that's
Speaker 3: no good. Shall we go for a run, or should
Speaker 3: we go for a walk, or encouraging them to do
Speaker 3: things that a bit more positive rather than feeding the
Speaker 3: negativity the negative side of things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's easy.
Speaker 2: When you to get sucked into that negative conversation and
Speaker 2: then all of a sudden you're there an hour later
Speaker 2: and you're still talking about the same thing.
Speaker 1: That's right, I guess right in your book, you.
Speaker 2: Discuss well you write about ways to cultivate and in
Speaker 2: a circle. One rate you're in a circle, which we've
Speaker 2: probably talked about. To grow your network. Three, be clear
Speaker 2: of what doesn't service your higher purpose.
Speaker 1: Grow your network.
Speaker 2: It's really hard or challenging when you to make friends
Speaker 2: as an adult, to make connections.
Speaker 1: How do you do it?
Speaker 3: So one of the things that I do with my
Speaker 3: clients on a regular basis, and you know, going through
Speaker 3: tough times or they're running small businesses and you know
Speaker 3: it seems like they're on a wheel and never coming
Speaker 3: out the other side, is to write down ten things
Speaker 3: that they're good at and ten things that make them
Speaker 3: feel really excited and you know motivated. So out of
Speaker 3: those ten things, one of them might be going to
Speaker 3: a pilates class. So by going to a pilates class,
Speaker 3: it's something that's going to going to elevate you, make
Speaker 3: you feel good. And when you go to a pilates class,
Speaker 3: you know the people that you talk to taking five
Speaker 3: or ten minutes, Hi, how are you, how was your day?
Speaker 3: What's going on for you today? So connecting with people
Speaker 3: who are in that class, who are like minded with you.
Speaker 3: So making an effort to do something outside of what
Speaker 3: your current routine is and aligning that with the that
Speaker 3: you love to do.
Speaker 2: And the good thing about you know, just taking those
Speaker 2: that extra time at to say pilartis classes, you're probably
Speaker 2: likely going to see the person again. Yeah, So you're
Speaker 2: choosing an activity where you know you might not be
Speaker 2: besties after one or two sessions, but give it six
Speaker 2: weeks and you're constantly seeing people. And also the other thing,
Speaker 2: you know, I had someone actually reach out to who
Speaker 2: was on this podcast then reach out to me afterwards saying,
Speaker 2: I know this might sound a bit weird, but I
Speaker 2: feel like we vibed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you want to go for coffee?
Speaker 2: And I thought that was really I really respect that
Speaker 2: because it's quite hard to kind of ask people.
Speaker 1: Do I just go for coffee?
Speaker 2: Absolutely, especially when we're all so busy and all struggling
Speaker 2: to find time. And I just think sometimes asking the
Speaker 2: question if you feel there's something that you you know,
Speaker 2: there's that intangible connection to actually go and ask someone, Hey,
Speaker 2: do you want to go grab a coffee?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 3: And I think social media is a really great way
Speaker 3: of doing that and rather than just you know, seeing
Speaker 3: what people were doing and actually making comments and engaging
Speaker 3: with them on social media, and you'll be surprised how
Speaker 3: many people you know reply back to you, and you
Speaker 3: know they really appreciate that positive feedback.
Speaker 1: So can we just pick up on the grow your network?
Speaker 1: Is that?
Speaker 2: How do you what advice do you give to people
Speaker 2: to help grow their network, perhaps outside the inner circle?
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, so I mean in regards to business or
Speaker 3: in regards to you know, living, I guess a healthy
Speaker 3: life since we are.
Speaker 1: On the Healthiest podcast.
Speaker 3: So doing things that you know make you feel good,
Speaker 3: or you just did a marathon, you know, joining up
Speaker 3: and doing a marathon and connecting with people that you
Speaker 3: think are like minded that would be interested in running
Speaker 3: with you on a Saturday morning. In business, or you know,
Speaker 3: I work with a lot of entrepreneurs who are setting
Speaker 3: up from home. They're lonely, they're on their computers, they're
Speaker 3: on zooms all the time. So, you know, joining a
Speaker 3: group of like minded entrepreneurs where we do visionary sessions
Speaker 3: where we all get together, have a glass of champagne,
Speaker 3: cut up magazines and create vision boards, which is a
Speaker 3: fun evening.
Speaker 1: Sounds an type of party. Yeah, it's so fun. It's
Speaker 1: actually yeah, and it does work.
Speaker 3: What you believe in and what you vision and vision,
Speaker 3: visualize and manifest really really does come true. And especially
Speaker 3: when you put it all, you know, onto a board
Speaker 3: that you can look at your on your desk or
Speaker 3: or wherever you might be every day.
Speaker 2: There's something there's a common spread through all your answers,
Speaker 2: and that is actually meeting people in person. And I
Speaker 2: think often we you know, we get caught behind the
Speaker 2: screens and we're on Zoom and we're like, oh, I
Speaker 2: don't really want to go out and meet this person.
Speaker 2: You know, it can be ature, but go and when
Speaker 2: you're there, it's amazing that connection that can happen when
Speaker 2: you're actually in the flesh.
Speaker 3: Absolutely and we are all, you know, stuck behind computers
Speaker 3: and zooms and.
Speaker 1: It is very easy these days.
Speaker 3: But I notice a difference with my staff and my
Speaker 3: business if we're doing a Zoom strategy session or we
Speaker 3: meet up in person, you know, the different and actually
Speaker 3: personally personally connecting with people is huge. So you know,
Speaker 3: making a list and maybe once a week you're reaching
Speaker 3: out to someone to go and grab a coffee with
Speaker 3: who inspires you and just have a chat. You just
Speaker 3: never know where things will go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, thank you for making it in person in
Speaker 2: studio today. Oh, thank you for having much better than
Speaker 2: not our online studio.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2: Are you clear on who is in your inner circle?
Speaker 2: Perhaps it does change over the years, Well mine certainly has, anyway,
Speaker 2: something to think about as we move into twenty twenty five,
Speaker 2: we can say that.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, it's nearly We're nearly there. Anyway.
Speaker 2: I hope you did enjoy this chat with Vanka. If
Speaker 2: you did, tell us you can subscribe to Healthy Ish,
Speaker 2: leave us a review, anything else, heat to body insoul
Speaker 2: dot com. Do you follow us on socials? You can
Speaker 2: grab me at Felicity Harley, grab our print edition which
Speaker 2: is out your local Sunday paper, and until tomorrow, stay
Speaker 2: healthy Ish