WEBVTT - Do you have a circle of influence? 

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Healthy Ish.

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<v Speaker 2>Thanks for tuning into the daily podcasts from Body and Soul.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm your host, Felicity Harley. Today we're joined by a

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<v Speaker 2>business growth strategist and coach, Bianca Monley. Back in the day,

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<v Speaker 2>she ran the uber successful food delivery service called Eat

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<v Speaker 2>Fit Food. We're exploring the idea of a circle of influence,

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<v Speaker 2>why you need to surround yourself with your right people,

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<v Speaker 2>and also how to make friends as an adult. Listening

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<v Speaker 2>to our sister podcast Extra Healthy Ish, where we talk

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<v Speaker 2>about how to manifest your success in twenty twenty five.

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<v Speaker 2>You can grab that one wherever get your podcasts.

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<v Speaker 1>Banker, welcome back, Thank you, thank you n having you

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<v Speaker 1>on the podcast again. How are you?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Really really wow, great to be here. Thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>Now talk to us about the inner circle. I love

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<v Speaker 2>this quote. You've got new book. It's called that app Well.

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<v Speaker 2>It says the you are the average of the five

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<v Speaker 2>people you spend time with. Yes, what what isn't in

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<v Speaker 2>a circle and why is it important?

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, So if you kind of have a look about

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<v Speaker 3>your life and times that you may have had in

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<v Speaker 3>your life where there may be one or two people

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<v Speaker 3>or that are in you're in a circle who are

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<v Speaker 3>dragging you down, maybe not supporting your bigger ideas, not

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<v Speaker 3>lifting you. It can really have an effect on the

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<v Speaker 3>way we live in our life and not pursuing our

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<v Speaker 3>dreams and you know, not pursuing our health goals and

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<v Speaker 3>things like that. So it's really really important to take

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<v Speaker 3>notice of who is in you're in a circle. You

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<v Speaker 3>know those top five people that we have as friends.

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<v Speaker 3>I guess most people can't count them on more than

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<v Speaker 3>five five fingers, but you know who are they and

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<v Speaker 3>you know are they making you feel good? And are

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<v Speaker 3>they uplifting you and supporting your goals and dreams.

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<v Speaker 2>Has this been something I mean, you've been been successful

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<v Speaker 2>in business, has this been something that you've that has

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<v Speaker 2>developed if you've got old or has always been just

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<v Speaker 2>a kind of mancher that you live by.

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<v Speaker 1>I've developed it.

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<v Speaker 3>And when I first started my business, I mean I

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<v Speaker 3>was only twenty one, so I would take on anyone

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<v Speaker 3>who could help me, you know, make meals and deliver

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<v Speaker 3>them and whoever would help. And I found myself attracting

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<v Speaker 3>people to kind of want to help them and lift

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<v Speaker 3>them up. And you know, people who would always be late,

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<v Speaker 3>and then I'd give them another chance, and just constantly

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<v Speaker 3>hearing the stories and problems of what they were dealing

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<v Speaker 3>with and what it had as a result was I

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<v Speaker 3>was constantly dragged into you know, their life and.

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<v Speaker 1>What was going on with their drama. Yeah, their lives.

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<v Speaker 3>And their drama, and then I was pulled away from

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<v Speaker 3>creating you know, great things within the business because there

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<v Speaker 3>was always something wrong. So learning how to move people

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<v Speaker 3>on after you know, a couple of chances in business

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<v Speaker 3>was something I learned the hard way.

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<v Speaker 1>You do you have how does it work for you?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you have just five people who cross both business

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<v Speaker 2>in life or do they kind of mesh into.

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<v Speaker 3>Two or they I have a circle for business and

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<v Speaker 3>circle for life and then they probably you know, mix

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<v Speaker 3>into two.

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<v Speaker 1>Obviously.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, my family and my partner are all very

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<v Speaker 3>very supportive, and you know they cheer me on for everything,

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<v Speaker 3>which is incredible having that support in the home but

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<v Speaker 3>also in business. And you know, I constantly on a

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<v Speaker 3>Monday morning, I'm like, who do I look up to?

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<v Speaker 1>Who do I admire?

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<v Speaker 3>Who would I reach out to? And you know, through

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<v Speaker 3>social media and just providing positive comments and what people

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<v Speaker 3>are doing to you know, it will lift them as well,

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<v Speaker 3>and just making sure you're connecting with those people who

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<v Speaker 3>really inspire you.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I think it has to work both ways, right,

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<v Speaker 2>You need to lift people up, but you need people

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<v Speaker 2>to lift you up. You talked before about getting I

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<v Speaker 2>mean I hate saying getting rid of people, but letting

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<v Speaker 2>people people out of that inner circle.

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<v Speaker 1>How do you how have you learned to do that?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, you can still be there for people, it's just

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<v Speaker 3>not necessarily helping to feed the drama. So instead of

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<v Speaker 3>engaging and giving advice or you know, I don't know,

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<v Speaker 3>relationship problems, Oh, you shouldn't be with him, or that's

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<v Speaker 3>you know, that's he's doing these terrible things. And so

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<v Speaker 3>instead of feeding the issues and the problem, changing your

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<v Speaker 3>dialogue around you know something supportive, Oh you know that's

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<v Speaker 3>no good. Shall we go for a run, or should

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<v Speaker 3>we go for a walk, or encouraging them to do

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<v Speaker 3>things that a bit more positive rather than feeding the

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<v Speaker 3>negativity the negative side of things.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's easy.

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<v Speaker 2>When you to get sucked into that negative conversation and

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<v Speaker 2>then all of a sudden you're there an hour later

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<v Speaker 2>and you're still talking about the same thing.

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<v Speaker 1>That's right, I guess right in your book, you.

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<v Speaker 2>Discuss well you write about ways to cultivate and in

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<v Speaker 2>a circle. One rate you're in a circle, which we've

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<v Speaker 2>probably talked about. To grow your network. Three, be clear

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<v Speaker 2>of what doesn't service your higher purpose.

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<v Speaker 1>Grow your network.

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<v Speaker 2>It's really hard or challenging when you to make friends

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<v Speaker 2>as an adult, to make connections.

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<v Speaker 1>How do you do it?

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<v Speaker 3>So one of the things that I do with my

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<v Speaker 3>clients on a regular basis, and you know, going through

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<v Speaker 3>tough times or they're running small businesses and you know

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<v Speaker 3>it seems like they're on a wheel and never coming

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<v Speaker 3>out the other side, is to write down ten things

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<v Speaker 3>that they're good at and ten things that make them

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<v Speaker 3>feel really excited and you know motivated. So out of

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<v Speaker 3>those ten things, one of them might be going to

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<v Speaker 3>a pilates class. So by going to a pilates class,

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<v Speaker 3>it's something that's going to going to elevate you, make

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<v Speaker 3>you feel good. And when you go to a pilates class,

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<v Speaker 3>you know the people that you talk to taking five

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<v Speaker 3>or ten minutes, Hi, how are you, how was your day?

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<v Speaker 3>What's going on for you today? So connecting with people

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<v Speaker 3>who are in that class, who are like minded with you.

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<v Speaker 3>So making an effort to do something outside of what

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<v Speaker 3>your current routine is and aligning that with the that

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<v Speaker 3>you love to do.

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<v Speaker 2>And the good thing about you know, just taking those

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<v Speaker 2>that extra time at to say pilartis classes, you're probably

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<v Speaker 2>likely going to see the person again. Yeah, So you're

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<v Speaker 2>choosing an activity where you know you might not be

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<v Speaker 2>besties after one or two sessions, but give it six

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<v Speaker 2>weeks and you're constantly seeing people. And also the other thing,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I had someone actually reach out to who

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<v Speaker 2>was on this podcast then reach out to me afterwards saying,

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<v Speaker 2>I know this might sound a bit weird, but I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like we vibed.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, do you want to go for coffee?

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<v Speaker 2>And I thought that was really I really respect that

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<v Speaker 2>because it's quite hard to kind of ask people.

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<v Speaker 1>Do I just go for coffee?

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, especially when we're all so busy and all struggling

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<v Speaker 2>to find time. And I just think sometimes asking the

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<v Speaker 2>question if you feel there's something that you you know,

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<v Speaker 2>there's that intangible connection to actually go and ask someone, Hey,

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<v Speaker 2>do you want to go grab a coffee?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>That's right.

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<v Speaker 3>And I think social media is a really great way

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<v Speaker 3>of doing that and rather than just you know, seeing

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<v Speaker 3>what people were doing and actually making comments and engaging

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<v Speaker 3>with them on social media, and you'll be surprised how

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<v Speaker 3>many people you know reply back to you, and you

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<v Speaker 3>know they really appreciate that positive feedback.

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<v Speaker 1>So can we just pick up on the grow your network?

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<v Speaker 1>Is that?

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<v Speaker 2>How do you what advice do you give to people

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<v Speaker 2>to help grow their network, perhaps outside the inner circle?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, okay, so I mean in regards to business or

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<v Speaker 3>in regards to you know, living, I guess a healthy

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<v Speaker 3>life since we are.

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<v Speaker 1>On the Healthiest podcast.

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<v Speaker 3>So doing things that you know make you feel good,

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<v Speaker 3>or you just did a marathon, you know, joining up

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<v Speaker 3>and doing a marathon and connecting with people that you

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<v Speaker 3>think are like minded that would be interested in running

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<v Speaker 3>with you on a Saturday morning. In business, or you know,

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<v Speaker 3>I work with a lot of entrepreneurs who are setting

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<v Speaker 3>up from home. They're lonely, they're on their computers, they're

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<v Speaker 3>on zooms all the time. So, you know, joining a

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<v Speaker 3>group of like minded entrepreneurs where we do visionary sessions

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<v Speaker 3>where we all get together, have a glass of champagne,

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<v Speaker 3>cut up magazines and create vision boards, which is a

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<v Speaker 3>fun evening.

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<v Speaker 1>Sounds an type of party. Yeah, it's so fun. It's

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<v Speaker 1>actually yeah, and it does work.

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<v Speaker 3>What you believe in and what you vision and vision,

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<v Speaker 3>visualize and manifest really really does come true. And especially

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<v Speaker 3>when you put it all, you know, onto a board

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<v Speaker 3>that you can look at your on your desk or

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<v Speaker 3>or wherever you might be every day.

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<v Speaker 2>There's something there's a common spread through all your answers,

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<v Speaker 2>and that is actually meeting people in person. And I

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<v Speaker 2>think often we you know, we get caught behind the

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<v Speaker 2>screens and we're on Zoom and we're like, oh, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't really want to go out and meet this person.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, it can be ature, but go and when

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<v Speaker 2>you're there, it's amazing that connection that can happen when

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<v Speaker 2>you're actually in the flesh.

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<v Speaker 3>Absolutely and we are all, you know, stuck behind computers

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<v Speaker 3>and zooms and.

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<v Speaker 1>It is very easy these days.

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<v Speaker 3>But I notice a difference with my staff and my

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<v Speaker 3>business if we're doing a Zoom strategy session or we

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<v Speaker 3>meet up in person, you know, the different and actually

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<v Speaker 3>personally personally connecting with people is huge. So you know,

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<v Speaker 3>making a list and maybe once a week you're reaching

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<v Speaker 3>out to someone to go and grab a coffee with

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<v Speaker 3>who inspires you and just have a chat. You just

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<v Speaker 3>never know where things will go.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well, thank you for making it in person in

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<v Speaker 2>studio today. Oh, thank you for having much better than

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<v Speaker 2>not our online studio.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you clear on who is in your inner circle?

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<v Speaker 2>Perhaps it does change over the years, Well mine certainly has, anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>something to think about as we move into twenty twenty five,

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<v Speaker 2>we can say that.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, Yeah, it's nearly We're nearly there. Anyway.

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<v Speaker 2>I hope you did enjoy this chat with Vanka. If

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<v Speaker 2>you did, tell us you can subscribe to Healthy Ish,

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<v Speaker 2>leave us a review, anything else, heat to body insoul

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<v Speaker 2>dot com. Do you follow us on socials? You can

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<v Speaker 2>grab me at Felicity Harley, grab our print edition which

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<v Speaker 2>is out your local Sunday paper, and until tomorrow, stay

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<v Speaker 2>healthy Ish