Speaker 1: We'd like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: on which this podcast was produced, the Galligle people of
Speaker 1: the orination. We pay our respects to Elder's past and present.
Speaker 2: It's March twenty sixteen and we're on Bombo Beach, about
Speaker 2: two hours south of Sydney. Brett Canellen is here to
Speaker 2: try and clear his head. He's had a bad day
Speaker 2: and knows that grabbing his surfboard and heading for the
Speaker 2: waves will be the antidote he needs. He's roped his
Speaker 2: friend's jol and Aggie into the mood boosting trip. Brett
Speaker 2: heads out into the surf. The sun is starting to
Speaker 2: set and the conditions are good. Brett reflects on the day.
Speaker 2: He thinks to himself, at least I've been able to
Speaker 2: do something to make me feel better. But Brett's bad
Speaker 2: day is about to become a total nightmare. He's thrown
Speaker 2: off his board. The world goes silent. He's too afraid
Speaker 2: to look down. He sees Joel with panic in his eyes,
Speaker 2: racing towards him. I'm at Middleton and this is head
Speaker 2: game today. Brett Connelan on the surf that changed everything.
Speaker 2: Super stoked to have Brett Conelan on my podcast Head
Speaker 2: Game Now, talk about Headgame Car. He's had to battle
Speaker 2: some serious psychological and physical trauma. He's sitting opposite me
Speaker 2: right now and I can see his leg and that
Speaker 2: is quite the munch, Brett, Car. I can just by
Speaker 2: looking at your leg, I can tell that you're super
Speaker 2: lucky to have.
Speaker 3: It right, Definitely lucky to have it. Calling it a
Speaker 3: munch is definitely one way of describing It's.
Speaker 2: Not some month has taken a big munch out of you.
Speaker 4: Definitely. And it's quite an intro too, isn't it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was going to get straight into your sat
Speaker 2: opposite there's no other intro to give. Wow, quite a
Speaker 2: scene to see. And having sort of seen sort of
Speaker 2: physical trauma in my career in the military and I'm
Speaker 2: now sitting opposite you, I appreciate what goes into it
Speaker 2: psychologically and the recovery. But have you always been attracted
Speaker 2: to the water? You know, what was your upbringing?
Speaker 3: Like? Yeah, I have always been in and around the ocean.
Speaker 3: I grew up in a small seaside town and just
Speaker 3: by virtue of proximity to the water, you get into
Speaker 3: nippers and surf club and all these things. So from
Speaker 3: a very very young age I was I was always
Speaker 3: in the water, first of all, on a bodyboard. My
Speaker 3: dad grew up as a surfer, so he spent time
Speaker 3: trying to get family. So it wasn't until I was
Speaker 3: eleven years old that I actually jumped on a surfboard
Speaker 3: for the very very first time. And from that moment
Speaker 3: I was one hundred percent just a pure surfer. I
Speaker 3: did a bunch of other sports at that time in
Speaker 3: my life and I dropped them all like and just
Speaker 3: wanted to surf. So from that point, like you ask,
Speaker 3: are you a surfer? Then definitely, when was your let's
Speaker 3: call it your lucky break.
Speaker 2: When did you realize, actually, this is something I can do,
Speaker 2: you know, I could really really get my head into
Speaker 2: and do professionally.
Speaker 3: It was It wasn't until much later on, until when
Speaker 3: I was about twenty one years old, is when I
Speaker 3: had that realization. And I didn't have much success in
Speaker 3: the early days of my surfing. I had success locally
Speaker 3: in some of the competitions around where I live and
Speaker 3: in board riders, but with the bigger competitions on like
Speaker 3: a state in the nationwide level, I had always really
Speaker 3: struggled to get past the second or third round, and
Speaker 3: I kind of got to the age of leaving school,
Speaker 3: like eighteen years old, and I was faced with the
Speaker 3: decision of what what do I do with my life?
Speaker 3: Like I had no real solid results that would indicate
Speaker 3: that I was going to become a professional surfer, but
Speaker 3: I still wanted surfing to be a big part of
Speaker 3: my life. So I actually moved to the Gold Coast
Speaker 3: for university and did Surfing Studies, which sounds like the
Speaker 3: most ridiculous, bizarre course that you could ever do in Australia,
Speaker 3: not in Australia exactly. It's the main reason I wanted
Speaker 3: to do that was it It's a course that gives
Speaker 3: you a look at a bunch of different subjects that
Speaker 3: they're all surfing specific. So you'll do marketing and events
Speaker 3: management and hopefully you'll find something that you want to
Speaker 3: do that you can follow a career with later on.
Speaker 3: But that was one reason that I did it. I
Speaker 3: knew it would give me options, especially if the surfing
Speaker 3: thing didn't work out. But the Gold Coast is really
Speaker 3: where the surfing scene is in Australia, and moving up
Speaker 3: to there, I knew I was going to at least
Speaker 3: have a chance to be seen and noticed, and I'd
Speaker 3: be able to enter a few more events. And when
Speaker 3: I was up there, I loved doing my UNI, and
Speaker 3: it's where I got my first ever proper sponsor. Was
Speaker 3: up there, just surfing a beach one day and a
Speaker 3: guy who made surfboards came up to me and said
Speaker 3: he really liked to look my surfing.
Speaker 4: He wanted to support me.
Speaker 3: And that confidence, yeah, really really cool, and that confidence
Speaker 3: that built. I ended up moving back from the Gold Coast. Essentially,
Speaker 3: I got sick of how busy it was up there.
Speaker 3: A small town. I'd go for a surf at home,
Speaker 3: there's like three or four people out, whereas you for
Speaker 3: a surf at Snapper Rocks or anywhere up there, and
Speaker 3: it's hundreds and I'd always I found it really difficult
Speaker 3: not to be able to find that little pocket or
Speaker 3: that corner to myself.
Speaker 4: So I moved home for that.
Speaker 2: But when I did the surfing was you're making decisions
Speaker 2: on your career, on your life due to surfing exactly. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you're living and breathing it. Let's be honest, you know UNI,
Speaker 2: You're loving your UNI. But this is what you want
Speaker 2: to do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And my mindset and the reason I did the
Speaker 3: UNI was I've always want to leave the door open
Speaker 3: for professional surfing if it's available, if I keep improving
Speaker 3: and things get better, but you've got to be realistic
Speaker 3: and I wanted to back myself up with a career.
Speaker 4: So yeah, there was a lot of decisions.
Speaker 3: That were made that I guess from the outside they
Speaker 3: look like they are very very much driven by the
Speaker 3: love of surfing, which which they absolutely were. So when
Speaker 3: I moved home, I had kind of settled back into
Speaker 3: working for a surf shop down in Woongone, close to
Speaker 3: where I live. I was surfing riding for a new
Speaker 3: surfboard shaper, a new sponsor that I was also working for,
Speaker 3: and had actually started surfing for my local board riders
Speaker 3: team that I grew up surfing for again. And this
Speaker 3: event popped up called the Australian Board Riders Battle, and
Speaker 3: it's like a team's event where you surf for your club.
Speaker 3: So I had all these people that had grown up
Speaker 3: surfing for as a team of six. You go and
Speaker 3: surf against all the other board riders clubs in the area.
Speaker 3: And they had one event which was at Bombo Beach,
Speaker 3: my local beach.
Speaker 2: And yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: It was me, Me and a couple, a couple of
Speaker 3: older guys who had been in the club for a
Speaker 3: long time, and a couple of the younger surfers as well,
Speaker 3: and we ended up winning this competition and it's the
Speaker 3: first competition that our club had won in over twenty years,
Speaker 3: so it was really big for our club.
Speaker 4: But what it did is it qualified as.
Speaker 3: For the national final of this event, so all the
Speaker 3: teams from all over Australia come to it was in
Speaker 3: Cronulla that year and compete against each other.
Speaker 2: Do you remember that moment Do you remember thinking wow,
Speaker 2: this could potentially be a game changer for me?
Speaker 3: Not immediately. It wasn't until I was actually at the
Speaker 3: event that it all hit me. So the unique thing
Speaker 3: about this event is it was the only event at
Speaker 3: the time where the World Tour actually permitted their surfers
Speaker 3: to compete in. So usually if you're on the World Tour,
Speaker 3: you can only compete in World Tour sanctioned events. So
Speaker 3: there are some of the best surfers like Mick Fanning
Speaker 3: Owen right, like all these other great surfers who were
Speaker 3: just surfing for their local clubs. So when I realized
Speaker 3: it was actually an opportunity to go up against these
Speaker 3: people that I dreamed of going up against and surfing against,
Speaker 3: I realized that was probably the opportunity, and that the
Speaker 3: weekend came around for the event and we did better
Speaker 3: than expected.
Speaker 4: So we came sixth overall, So the sixth best club
Speaker 4: in Australia.
Speaker 3: That's big and it was something that when I actually
Speaker 3: got to sit back and realize what we'd done in
Speaker 3: the space of having a club that hadn't won an
Speaker 3: event in decades to being the sixth best in Australia
Speaker 3: against some of the best surfers in the world, I
Speaker 3: realized that, you know, maybe I do belong I think
Speaker 3: being able to surf against some of the best and
Speaker 3: perform and be satisfied, I almost gave myself permission to
Speaker 3: believe that it's somewhere where I belonged.
Speaker 2: So basically, you've got this opportunity at your feet, you
Speaker 2: come six which is great, and then you have a
Speaker 2: bad day. Right, talk to me about your bad day,
Speaker 2: because what it leads on to is obviously the month
Speaker 2: that I spoke about at the beginning of this podcast.
Speaker 2: But go on how bad was the day?
Speaker 3: So my day started out at two thirty am, received
Speaker 3: a phone call from my boss of the surf shop
Speaker 3: that I was managing at the time, saying the shop
Speaker 3: had been broken into. So he said, there's nothing you
Speaker 3: can do right now. Obviously I was leaving forty five
Speaker 3: minutes away. You said, I just want to let you know,
Speaker 3: so when you come in you know what to expect.
Speaker 3: I think that's a bit of foreshadowing, Like if if
Speaker 3: you knew what was to come, I probably should have
Speaker 3: gone back to bed and like just called it quits
Speaker 3: for the day. But you know, you only look at
Speaker 3: these things in hindsight when something's happened, right, So I
Speaker 3: going to work that day dealing with police, cleaning up broken.
Speaker 4: Glass, doing all of that. So not a great day definitely.
Speaker 3: Like I remember leaving work that day and I was like,
Speaker 3: I just need to go for a So.
Speaker 2: And what they've broken in that? Have they destroyed stuff?
Speaker 2: If they pinched stuff.
Speaker 3: They smashed the front window and stole anything that was
Speaker 3: kind of within arms reach of the window, so it
Speaker 3: sounds ridiculous, but they took like backpacks and socks and
Speaker 3: things like that, which is I've always thought it was
Speaker 3: silly because the surfboards that were on the rack are
Speaker 3: worth one thousand dollars.
Speaker 4: But you can't run away with several surfboards.
Speaker 3: It's you know, it's always going to be a bad
Speaker 3: day if anything gets broken into no doubt. So I
Speaker 3: leave the shop that day and I get in the car.
Speaker 3: I sent two messages to both my mates. One to
Speaker 3: my good friend Nick, who I grew up surfing with,
Speaker 3: and another one to a good friend of mine, Joel,
Speaker 3: who I.
Speaker 4: Had spent a bit of time living with.
Speaker 3: And he's someone who i'd always kind of send a
Speaker 3: message to because he's got the camera.
Speaker 4: He'd always come and take photos or film or something
Speaker 4: like that.
Speaker 3: So send a message to Nick, and I was like,
Speaker 3: can go and go for a surf out Bombo when
Speaker 3: I get back. I don't know what it's like, but
Speaker 3: I'm going to go out there and send the same
Speaker 3: message to Joel. Nick messaged me and just said I'm
Speaker 3: not going to make it, but Joel said, yeah, I'll
Speaker 3: try and get down there. I got to the beach
Speaker 3: after driving home, so forty five minutes later, Joel.
Speaker 2: What time will we time? Do you hit the beach?
Speaker 4: Roughly just so about quarter to six?
Speaker 2: Who quarter six at night?
Speaker 4: Yeah, so the sun's so it's.
Speaker 3: Late issue moon to late afternoon at that stage, like
Speaker 3: it is. It's March, so the days are still semi long.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I get there and obviously Nick's not there,
Speaker 3: and Joel's also not there. Joel is notorious for being late.
Speaker 3: Is that mate that if you called to do something,
Speaker 3: you're probably better off calling him an hour before, so
Speaker 3: he can get there still a little bit late, but
Speaker 3: not as late as what he would So I rock
Speaker 3: up in the waves look really fun. So I'm like, okay,
Speaker 3: I'll just go out anyway. And I go down to
Speaker 3: the beach and there's a bunch of people surfing right
Speaker 3: up in the northern corner. And as I said, I'm
Speaker 3: not a big fan of surfing with these people a
Speaker 3: lot of the time, and especially after that day, I
Speaker 3: was like, I kind of just need to be by
Speaker 3: myself rather than people ask me, you know what I
Speaker 3: think about surfboards and fins and things like that.
Speaker 4: So I spot a little left.
Speaker 3: Hand bank down the beach and I'm like, okay, we'll
Speaker 3: just go and surf there. I'll be by myself. That'll
Speaker 3: be fun. So I'm sitting out there surfing for about
Speaker 3: twenty minutes, thirty minutes before I look in and Joel
Speaker 3: rocks up.
Speaker 4: So it's good. He's that's pretty on time for Joel,
Speaker 4: which is good.
Speaker 2: So you're pretty impressed with him at this time.
Speaker 4: I am. I am. So he rocks up, he paddles out,
Speaker 4: and we share a few waves.
Speaker 2: Now, did that put a smile on your face? You know,
Speaker 2: I know that you want to be alone, but you've
Speaker 2: obviously called him for a reason. You've had a crappy day.
Speaker 2: Do you feel better already just hitting the water.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I know that I'll always be happier in
Speaker 3: the ocean. There's something about being in the salt and
Speaker 3: just surfing that it's always made me feel good, so
Speaker 3: I know it has that, But also like being able
Speaker 3: to share that with someone and talk about the day,
Speaker 3: like that's.
Speaker 4: What that was great for.
Speaker 3: So Joel comes out, we share a few waves, I'm
Speaker 3: telling him about the day, and.
Speaker 4: You know, it's bye.
Speaker 3: We'd probably been surfing for like another thirty forty minutes,
Speaker 3: and by that stage I do have a little smile
Speaker 3: on my face, like it hasn't fixed what happened, Like
Speaker 3: it hasn't repaired the front window of the shot, but
Speaker 3: I feel a lot better because of it, and I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 3: at least you know this has all happened, so.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's done is done. Now it's time to yet.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So Joel catches a wave and he gets quite a
Speaker 3: nice wave. He's probably about one hundred and fifty meters
Speaker 3: down the beach and I'm just sitting there reflecting on
Speaker 3: the day that's happened, just thinking about where it started,
Speaker 3: or obviously all the way back at two thirty am, thinking,
Speaker 3: you know, it's been bad, but at least I've been
Speaker 3: able to do this.
Speaker 4: And I'm looking back towards the beach.
Speaker 3: Joel's now wife, Aggie, she's on the beach, came down
Speaker 3: to watch him surf, which she doesn't usually do. She's
Speaker 3: sitting there in a blanket, watching the sun starting to
Speaker 3: kind of go behind the mountain there. And as I'm
Speaker 3: sitting there having that thought of like, at least I've
Speaker 3: been able to turn this day around, I get hit
Speaker 3: from my right side with immense force and I got
Speaker 3: thrown off my surfboard and I land in the water.
Speaker 3: And before I can even look around to figure out
Speaker 3: what has happened, where it came from, what it is.
Speaker 3: I look down as a shark biting into my leg.
Speaker 2: So, Brette, your first knock is not the bite. No,
Speaker 2: So the first knock is sort of like an Auca attack.
Speaker 2: When they knock the knock the seals off the ice
Speaker 2: and then they attack from So that's that's sort of
Speaker 2: is a calculated attack.
Speaker 4: It seems like, I mean, it feels like it.
Speaker 3: It's one of those things you don't know in the moment,
Speaker 3: but yeah, looking back on it, and it seems like
Speaker 3: that was, you know, almost the intent of what was
Speaker 3: absolutely so, yeah, I look down and I'm just looking.
Speaker 3: I'm confronted because there's this shark biting into my leg,
Speaker 3: and there's this there's this really clear moment where everything
Speaker 3: just stops. And I know there's a lot of different
Speaker 3: ways to try and describe this moment, but I think
Speaker 3: the best way to try and talk about what it
Speaker 3: felt like is just saying, there's a profound sense of
Speaker 3: reality to the situation. You don't exactly know what's going
Speaker 3: on or how bad it's going to be or anything
Speaker 3: like that. You've got no thoughts other than this is real,
Speaker 3: serious yeah, knowing what's happening, and obviously that moment where
Speaker 3: time is kind of standing still, like you're just frozen.
Speaker 3: And for me, like I remember just trying to actually
Speaker 3: take stock of what's happening, and there's there's probably three
Speaker 3: main things that I can recall from that. There's obviously
Speaker 3: more that's going on, but three things that stand out
Speaker 3: to me now.
Speaker 4: The first one is the feel.
Speaker 3: Of the shark's skin, so as it's biting down on
Speaker 3: my leg, I'm trying to like almost push it away
Speaker 3: and can feel this really rough skin on the top
Speaker 3: of its nose.
Speaker 4: The second thing is just the complete absence of sound.
Speaker 3: There's no water splashing and yeah, there's no no even
Speaker 3: like ringing sound.
Speaker 4: It's just complete silence.
Speaker 3: And this one is really interesting to me because I
Speaker 3: know I'm screaming for help straight away because of what
Speaker 3: Joel's recount is, but there's nothing for me, like it's
Speaker 3: just total silence, and it's it's so eerie in that
Speaker 3: moment because it doesn't feel real, like there's the things
Speaker 3: don't line up, like you're looking down at something you
Speaker 3: should be able to match things up, and it's not
Speaker 3: computing exactly, so there's That's the second thing. And the
Speaker 3: third thing I can remember is just the look in
Speaker 3: the shark's eyes. Like I think a lot of people
Speaker 3: think the defining look of a shark would be its
Speaker 3: teeth and how sharp they are. But for me, when
Speaker 3: you look at a shark's eye and it's it's got
Speaker 3: no emotion, no feeling, it's just a black dot, and
Speaker 3: that that for me is just terrifying, Like it's it's
Speaker 3: something that you know, I say that, you know you
Speaker 3: can't reason with it, you can't argue it, you can't
Speaker 3: tell it to stop. There's there's just this feeling of
Speaker 3: hopelessness within that moment that you're at the mercy of
Speaker 3: this creature and there's just nothing that you can do
Speaker 3: about it. And I think the hopelessness of that moment
Speaker 3: kind of sums up the entire experience, Like I'm at
Speaker 3: the mercy of this creature and there's not a whole
Speaker 3: lot that I can do in this situation that's going
Speaker 3: to make it better or help me get out of it.
Speaker 3: And that that moment of you know, all of that
Speaker 3: that I just described probably only happened in.
Speaker 2: Two or three so split seconds, and that moment that
Speaker 2: you have because I've experienced it when I've gone been
Speaker 2: into combat, when ultimately, when you're walking that line of
Speaker 2: life and death, you know, there's you know, you're either
Speaker 2: going to come out of it alive or you're going
Speaker 2: to come out of it dead. There's no there's no complications,
Speaker 2: there's no bs, you know, there's no it's it's as
Speaker 2: pure cut as that. You call it the purest form
Speaker 2: of life. And you do. You you can't make sense
Speaker 2: of it, and like you said, you can't hear anything.
Speaker 2: You can't you know, really make any any rational reality
Speaker 2: of it. So therefore that there's those split seconds where
Speaker 2: you just almost as if your whole body in your
Speaker 2: mind is zoned out in that moment he said, you've
Speaker 2: got your senses. Yeah, that's about it. It's a I've
Speaker 2: experienced it before. But obviously you didn't have a shark
Speaker 2: hanging off my leg, fortunately for me. But even that bump,
Speaker 2: you didn't even know what was going well, you didn't
Speaker 2: even know what was going on until what the shark
Speaker 2: took the chunk out your leg? When did sort of
Speaker 2: you know, you know, you sort of flash back into reality,
Speaker 2: don't you, And you're just like Wow, what's happened here?
Speaker 2: And how did you get out the water?
Speaker 3: So that that takes a bit of time to kind
Speaker 3: of get to that moment. I For the next little while,
Speaker 3: I'm doing things, making decisions, trying to react, but I
Speaker 3: don't think any of them were decisions that I consciously made.
Speaker 3: Like we talked before about that gut instinct and how
Speaker 3: that works. What happened after that, totally out of my control,
Speaker 3: obviously worked out for the best. Because I'm alive. I'm
Speaker 3: kind of in that frozen state, and I think the
Speaker 3: first thing that anyone who has heard anything about being
Speaker 3: attacked by a shark would assume that you have to
Speaker 3: do in a moment like that is punch in the nose.
Speaker 4: Poke in the eyes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, much easier said than done. I'll say I tried
Speaker 3: to punch it in the nose, but if you've ever
Speaker 3: tried to punch true water, nearly impossible.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So that doesn't.
Speaker 3: Work, and I make what is considered to be the
Speaker 3: mistake of pulling away from the shark.
Speaker 4: So this is how I lose the chunk of my leg.
Speaker 3: So essentially, when a shark has a hold of your
Speaker 3: leg and you pull away from it, it doesn't kind
Speaker 3: of get the memo and let go that you don't
Speaker 3: want to be bit by it. It holds onto that
Speaker 3: chunk of flesh and as I pull away from it,
Speaker 3: it just completely separated from my body. So it's a
Speaker 3: gruesome thing to think about.
Speaker 4: I have no idea in the moment that that's what's happened.
Speaker 2: You don't even know that half your leg ultimately is missing.
Speaker 3: No, because the first that I the first thing that
Speaker 3: I do is just know not to look down.
Speaker 2: And this is something that I have survival mechanism, exact
Speaker 2: survival mechanism, because you don't want to panic. See, you know,
Speaker 2: something really bad has happened, but you don't want to
Speaker 2: look at it and acknowledge it and then for it
Speaker 2: to compute in your head because then panic will set in.
Speaker 2: And it is a survival mechanism.
Speaker 4: It's really smart.
Speaker 3: I didn't choose to do it, no, it just it
Speaker 3: just happened that way, which I'm incredibly lucky. You know,
Speaker 3: if I did look down and go into shock and panic,
Speaker 3: the outcome, you know, I would.
Speaker 4: Have started losing blood quicker. It would have been a
Speaker 4: lot worse.
Speaker 3: So again, instinct is a very strong force and I'm
Speaker 3: lucky that that's the instinct that I have. So as
Speaker 3: it separates this chunk from my body, I obviously realized
Speaker 3: that this is my chance to escape. So I put
Speaker 3: my head down and just start swimming as hard as
Speaker 3: I can towards the beach, and I get about twenty
Speaker 3: twenty five meters further in, and I have this this
Speaker 3: is kind of where everything comes back. I have this thought,
Speaker 3: which is I wonder if it's going to come back
Speaker 3: again to kind of give you this Where I was,
Speaker 3: where I was sitting when it first bit me, that
Speaker 3: was probably about one hundred and fifty meters from the shore.
Speaker 3: So I'm still not one hundred meters away from the
Speaker 3: shore when I have that thought, and I look over
Speaker 3: my shoulder because you've got to check. And when I
Speaker 3: look over my shoulder, I see it rushing towards me
Speaker 3: like it's right there. And again there's nothing now I
Speaker 3: can do in that situation other than put my hands
Speaker 3: out to try and stop it. And I'm right handed,
Speaker 3: so my right hand's got pretty good aim. That lands
Speaker 3: square on its nose. Luckily, my left hand takes a
Speaker 3: little detour through its mouth, snags itself on a few teeth.
Speaker 3: These are the not munch the cool scars, Like that's
Speaker 3: just brushed against the tooth there and pulled this massive
Speaker 3: chunk of skin out of my palm. There's a couple
Speaker 3: of other little cool teeth marks there, yeah, the cool scars,
Speaker 3: but just from brushing against it. And obviously when I
Speaker 3: realize where it is, I try and pull it out
Speaker 3: as fast as I can. And there's this next moment
Speaker 3: where I've got like both hands on the nose of
Speaker 3: the shark. It's pushed me through the water. I'm feeling
Speaker 3: the power and the force that this thing's got as
Speaker 3: it's like kind of swimming me towards the beach, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, how do I get away from this time?
Speaker 3: Like I had to give up a large chunk of
Speaker 3: my cord the first time, What's it going to take
Speaker 3: this time to get away from it. That's like what
Speaker 3: I'm trying to realize in that moment. Obviously this stage,
Speaker 3: I've got a little bit more sense, and I'm starting
Speaker 3: to actually compute things a little bit more, and I'm
Speaker 3: looking around because I'm just trying to figure out what's available,
Speaker 3: what I can do. I don't have my surfboard at
Speaker 3: that stage, because when it hit me the first time,
Speaker 3: its teeth cuts through my leg rope. So when I
Speaker 3: got thrown off my surfboarder, I was immediately disconnected from it.
Speaker 3: So I'm looking around to see what I've got. I
Speaker 3: don't have a surfboard, I don't have anything. And I
Speaker 3: see a wave approaching because we're just inside where it's breaking,
Speaker 3: and I think to myself, I think the only thing
Speaker 3: I can do, like last ditch effort, really is when
Speaker 3: the wave hits me and hits us, try and push
Speaker 3: the shark to one side and just hope that that
Speaker 3: way is going to push me into the beach. So
Speaker 3: the waves approaching, I'm like, I hope this works, because
Speaker 3: if it doesn't, I'm like, I don't know what's going
Speaker 3: to happen. Next the wave hits me, I pushed it
Speaker 3: to the left and just immediately doing front flips underwater.
Speaker 3: And that's obviously a good thing in this situation because
Speaker 3: it's pushing me towards the beach and I surface after
Speaker 3: get then tumbled in quite a way and I'm actually
Speaker 3: able to stand up.
Speaker 4: I'm on the sand bank and it's about waste eap
Speaker 4: the water, so it's good.
Speaker 3: It's washed me in quite a way. And I look
Speaker 3: up again, and luckily I don't see the shark another time.
Speaker 3: I look up and see my good mate Joel, just
Speaker 3: paddling towards me as fast as he can.
Speaker 4: So luckily he'd heard.
Speaker 3: My screams back at the start when I couldn't hear anything,
Speaker 3: and luckily he made the brave decision to paddle towards
Speaker 3: me instead of to the beach. And the first thing
Speaker 3: he says, he looks back on. He says, it's the
Speaker 3: dumbest thing to ask, but he says, is it bad.
Speaker 4: I'm like, mate, I'm like, it's not good.
Speaker 3: So he realizes, like he can obviously he can see
Speaker 3: the blood in the water. He can see how bad
Speaker 3: it is just from where he is, and he just
Speaker 3: puts me on his surfboard and tries to get me
Speaker 3: into the beach.
Speaker 4: And he takes me all the way into the beach.
Speaker 3: It takes quite a while because we get stuck in
Speaker 3: a little rip, and like it's one of those things
Speaker 3: where I'm losing energy as we're getting close to the beach.
Speaker 4: So I'm able to.
Speaker 2: Help and less losing consciousness. I can't imagine. I can't
Speaker 2: believe how switched on you were, because in a sense
Speaker 2: of panic like that, especially when you start to realize
Speaker 2: it's like, don't look behind, just just swim just you know,
Speaker 2: just just get out of here. And if you didn't
Speaker 2: have looked behind you, you didn't see, then you'd no
Speaker 2: doubt not be here. You know, let's let's be honest,
Speaker 2: when do you first take a look? Obviously Joel's in there,
Speaker 2: you're on your board, you get when do you have
Speaker 2: the nerve to take a look to see, like Joel said,
Speaker 2: how bad it is because you didn't know at this stage.
Speaker 3: Right three weeks after it happened, I realized there was
Speaker 3: nothing good was going to come from looking down at
Speaker 3: the lake. I could sense just by the way that
Speaker 3: Joel looked at it that there wasn't something.
Speaker 2: That So when you stand up in the in the sand, you.
Speaker 4: I can't feel anything. There's no pain the whole time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's so that's another thing that's kind of
Speaker 3: helping me there, that I just don't know.
Speaker 4: You're almost better off being blisfuly.
Speaker 2: Ye, naive to the to the attack.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so I I didn't look for for a
Speaker 3: long time, but could easily tell just by not only Joel,
Speaker 3: but as more people came over to try.
Speaker 4: And help how bad it was.
Speaker 3: So it was one of those things that almost paints
Speaker 3: itself like in your own head, which is as you know,
Speaker 3: that can be its own, you know, struggle when it
Speaker 3: comes to the expectations that you formed further down the track.
Speaker 4: But I wasn't thinking that far ahead at the time.
Speaker 2: Wow, so you hit the hit the shore. What's your
Speaker 2: last memory of of of sort of being on the
Speaker 2: shoreline once you're once you're you know you're safe.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So I was conscious on the beach right up intol
Speaker 3: the helicopter took me away. So I was there when
Speaker 3: Joel ran off to go and get help from his
Speaker 3: partner Aggie. I was there when another bystander on the beach,
Speaker 3: whose names John, came over and helped Joe tie the
Speaker 3: torner cave. I could remember all the people who were
Speaker 3: surfing on that bank further up in the north corner
Speaker 3: as they came in one by one, and there's face
Speaker 3: that I know, and seeing the shock on their faces
Speaker 3: and like I was almost I.
Speaker 2: See you're pretty coherent.
Speaker 3: I'm really like I I think I tried to stay
Speaker 3: as calm as I could throughout that situation, because if
Speaker 3: I was panicking, that wasn't going to be good. My
Speaker 3: my tactic, I guess it would be, was when people
Speaker 3: had come up like a new person, I'd say how
Speaker 3: are you to them? So I remember like my good
Speaker 3: mate Geordie, who I did competitions with when I was younger.
Speaker 3: He came up and was like, hey, Jeordie, how are you?
Speaker 3: And he just looked at my leg and was like, big, yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm good buddy. Here.
Speaker 4: You know I'm looking so good that Wow. I'm incredibly
Speaker 4: lucky to be live.
Speaker 3: Obviously, yeah, absolutely, I'm I'm lucky with where the shark
Speaker 3: bit me. It missed my femeral artery by two millimeters.
Speaker 3: If that had been seven, I would have made it
Speaker 3: to the beach. I was lucky that Joel was there,
Speaker 3: obviously he would know his track record and being there
Speaker 3: on time. I was lucky to paddle towards me. I
Speaker 3: was lucky that his partner was on the beach that afternoon.
Speaker 3: She's an intensive care nurse, so the first respond is
Speaker 3: an intensive care nurse. John that I mentioned before, off
Speaker 3: duty nurse. I've spoken like I'm incredibly lucky to be here.
Speaker 3: And I've spoken to those people about the incident, obviously
Speaker 3: long after it's been and I remember John saying that
Speaker 3: for all the situations that he's been in, anything medically related,
Speaker 3: anything emergency related, he said, that's the calmest that's been
Speaker 3: And he says he thinks it's just due to how
Speaker 3: calm I was, and in which I guess I was
Speaker 3: trying to manage things in that moment. I think that
Speaker 3: just my approach just came out of almost the fear of,
Speaker 3: you know, knowing what could happen if it was as
Speaker 3: bad as what it could be. So I was almost
Speaker 3: just trying to remain disconnected from it for as long
Speaker 3: as I could, which explains not looking at the leg for.
Speaker 2: Say, definitely defense mechanism.
Speaker 3: So like I having all those people do all the
Speaker 3: right things on the beach is I can't credit them
Speaker 3: enough with saving my life and doing everything they could
Speaker 3: to get emergency services there in the helicopter. The last
Speaker 3: memory I have was getting loaded into the helicopter and
Speaker 3: my mom and dad got down to the beach.
Speaker 2: Oh your mom and dad were.
Speaker 3: They lived five minutes away, So that's its own thing
Speaker 3: like I up until that stage, like until my parents
Speaker 3: got there, it was very much process and survival and
Speaker 3: all of these things. When they got there, that's when
Speaker 3: emotion comes in. And that's emotion comes from seeing my
Speaker 3: mom obviously distraught, like she doesn't know what this situation
Speaker 3: is going to lead to, if it's going to be
Speaker 3: the loss of her son, what that's going to be.
Speaker 3: It's really tough seeing your mom in a situation like that.
Speaker 3: I think I had a harder time seeing my dad
Speaker 3: in a situation like that, and the reason isn't easy
Speaker 3: to protect her is and I think just what the
Speaker 3: situation was. So as my dad's worked in foreign rescue
Speaker 3: his whole life, so he arrived almost ready to jump
Speaker 3: into action, like he's used to being a part of
Speaker 3: these situations and knows how to help out, coordinate things,
Speaker 3: do all this, but instead of being able to do
Speaker 3: any of that, he's actually being held back, not being
Speaker 3: able to do what's normal, And like, can you imagine
Speaker 3: what that'll be like if you were in a situation
Speaker 3: like that and you can't you can't help. And there's
Speaker 3: there's actually a photo of me getting taken off the
Speaker 3: beach and Dad just standing on the outside just looking
Speaker 3: like there's he's just stunning ghost, and that those emotions
Speaker 3: are what makes that whole situation so different in that
Speaker 3: moment to what it was the entire time.
Speaker 4: Up until there.
Speaker 2: And when the emotions kicked in. Was that did that
Speaker 2: go from you going hey, hey, you doing mate to
Speaker 2: being in a different headspace?
Speaker 4: I would say so.
Speaker 3: But it's also the time in that whole scenario where
Speaker 3: they'd given me painkillers and they'd started.
Speaker 4: To really take over.
Speaker 3: So like there was as I'm getting, you know, loaded
Speaker 3: onto the helicopter, I just remember Mum. She really wanted
Speaker 3: to come with me, but there was a tiny helicopter
Speaker 3: and she couldn't come, and she was like she was
Speaker 3: at that point where she was like, is this actually
Speaker 3: going to be the last time I see my son?
Speaker 3: I don't know if he's going to make it to
Speaker 3: the hospital, and she's got to go sit in a
Speaker 3: calf two hours to get to the hospital and not
Speaker 3: know what the outcome is going to be on the
Speaker 3: other side. And I think there's that's like the last
Speaker 3: thought that I have as I as I go in
Speaker 3: there and end up getting knocked out by all these
Speaker 3: painkillers and things like that, So the do.
Speaker 2: You can't remember anything from the helicopter ride.
Speaker 3: I had a dream when I was on the helicopter,
Speaker 3: which was a really strange dream. I essentially dreamt my recovery.
Speaker 3: So I dreamt waking up in hospital hearing that I had,
Speaker 3: you know, these injuries to my leg and that I
Speaker 3: had to learn how to walk. In in my dream, I'm
Speaker 3: like in the gym lifting weights, learning like slowly learning
Speaker 3: how to walk and getting back to a normal life
Speaker 3: and the now you can. Sometimes you have those dreams
Speaker 3: that are so real, but they also you know they're
Speaker 3: a dream.
Speaker 2: Yea, yeah, it was.
Speaker 3: It was one of those ones. So it was almost
Speaker 3: like this, it kind OF's nearing to the end of
Speaker 3: the dream and you feel like you're almost got to
Speaker 3: go back to square one. I've never been someone who
Speaker 3: would consider myself, you know, typically spiritual in any sort
Speaker 3: of way, but I think there's something about that dream
Speaker 3: which was almost instructive of the recovery, even though it
Speaker 3: wasn't real, I think it at least showed me that
Speaker 3: there's a narrative that you can tell yourself that it
Speaker 3: can happen. And that's where I think in times of
Speaker 3: uncertainty and in times when your backs against the wall,
Speaker 3: a lot of the times, that's the only thing that
Speaker 3: you've got, it's the only thing you can control. So
Speaker 3: I think I lean on that dream quite a lot
Speaker 3: when you know, I wake up in the hospital and
Speaker 3: I am back at square one, and I'm like, this sucks,
Speaker 3: Like I've got to deal with this in real time
Speaker 3: now and go through everything. But there's that little piece
Speaker 3: where you like, I kind of know that something can happen,
Speaker 3: that something can be made of this situation, as bad
Speaker 3: as it can be, and like, at that stage, you
Speaker 3: don't really even know what the future is going to
Speaker 3: look like, because I didn't know the full extent of
Speaker 3: my injuries as of yet, and I didn't know what
Speaker 3: it was going to take to be able to get
Speaker 3: back to any sort of normality in my life. So
Speaker 3: that the dream itself is it's something that it could
Speaker 3: easily just be looked at and been like, it's just
Speaker 3: a dream, it's nothing, but you took holder that.
Speaker 4: I think, yeah, it was.
Speaker 3: Again, it was one of the few things that I
Speaker 3: had to kind of, you know, grab onto in those
Speaker 3: early days for sure.
Speaker 2: So when do you actually realize the severity of the
Speaker 2: shark attack. You know when you the first time you
Speaker 2: look at your leg.
Speaker 3: So again, like, there's that happened three weeks after the attack,
Speaker 3: so a lot happens in that time. The first time
Speaker 3: I actually realized as the severity of the attack was
Speaker 3: when the doctors were telling me about it. So they
Speaker 3: come in early on after they've been able to assess it.
Speaker 3: They're like, you've lost about three quarters of your left quad,
Speaker 3: so it's pretty bad.
Speaker 4: We're not sure if we're gonna have to amputate or not.
Speaker 2: So there was a question that they might have to
Speaker 2: take it off completely.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they were really unsure in the early days. They
Speaker 3: were saying, we're still like they said, it was a
Speaker 3: mess when it first came in, covered in sand and
Speaker 3: just bits everywhere, and they couldn't they couldn't really figure
Speaker 3: out what was left, what was taken. So they were
Speaker 3: really really unsure, and they're like, we don't know if
Speaker 3: there's been any damage to the actual bone, and if
Speaker 3: there's damage to the bone, they like, we will have
Speaker 3: to amputate.
Speaker 4: So I just remember the first time I heard them.
Speaker 3: Saying amputators scared me so much, And I just remember
Speaker 3: first of all just being like, if there's anything else
Speaker 3: we can do, like, I'll take that option. I don't
Speaker 3: care what, because there's something about like obviously there's a
Speaker 3: point where it's not a choice and you don't really
Speaker 3: get to choose whether your leg gets amputated or not.
Speaker 3: But I just remember how the thought of after they
Speaker 3: told me where the wound was and everything, the idea
Speaker 3: of throwing away the knee down, which is perfectly fine.
Speaker 3: I was like, I don't want to have to do that,
Speaker 3: like it's getting rid of good parts. So I was like,
Speaker 3: if there's anything, and they're like, we're looking into a
Speaker 3: few other things they can do. So they came back
Speaker 3: the day after and they like, we're looking into this operation,
Speaker 3: which is going to be a bit of an experiment
Speaker 3: in a way, just to see what we can do.
Speaker 3: What they ended up doing is they took my entire
Speaker 3: left lap muscle from my back and they transplanted that
Speaker 3: into my leg. So as you look at my munch
Speaker 3: leg that there is actually my back muscle.
Speaker 2: Oh way, bash your back muscle. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So they take the lap muscle from the back transplant
Speaker 3: that into the leg. Because it's about fifteen centimeters of
Speaker 3: exposed bone that they've got to cover up, so they
Speaker 3: put that in there. They connected blood supply to keep
Speaker 3: it alive. They connected nerve, which they say might make
Speaker 3: it work at some point in the future, but it's
Speaker 3: not about that. It's just about trying to stave off
Speaker 3: the imputation. So they do a bunch of skin grafts
Speaker 3: and that's what they did for the operation, and there
Speaker 3: was so much uncertainty with that, but I was just
Speaker 3: happy that I had the chance to keep it. So
Speaker 3: I was like, whatever, what they can do now, it's amazing.
Speaker 3: It is amazing what they can do in the operating theater.
Speaker 3: One thing doctors haven't quite nailed though, is the delivery
Speaker 3: of the prognosis, because they're like, we've been able to
Speaker 3: do this great thing, but we don't think you're going
Speaker 3: to be able to walk again, and you're definitely not
Speaker 3: going to surf again. So that's reality coming straight back.
Speaker 3: So like, you get given this whole but then just
Speaker 3: taken straight back away, and that was its own thing
Speaker 3: to deal with. And I think another reason why it
Speaker 3: took me so long to look down at my leg
Speaker 3: is just because I knew if I was going to
Speaker 3: look at it and it looked bad. I'd just fall
Speaker 3: into believing what they'd said. So I was like, I
Speaker 3: just want to put it off for as long as possible,
Speaker 3: focus on what I can. And it was hard because
Speaker 3: I was getting some of the operations, especially when they
Speaker 3: were changing my dressings where they lift my leg up
Speaker 3: because I because I had no quad muscle to oppose
Speaker 3: the hamstring, my leg was hyper flexible, so they could
Speaker 3: lift it up where it was like next to my
Speaker 3: head and I know it's right there and I'm I'm
Speaker 3: looking away, but I I'm.
Speaker 2: Just imagine you're going yeah, and I'm still not gonna
Speaker 2: you know that takes willpower maybe to be fair.
Speaker 3: Well, I got a glimpse of it very early on
Speaker 3: where part of the dressing on the upper leg had
Speaker 3: fallen down and that's where it's all stapled together, and
Speaker 3: it just looked like a zipper that was trying to
Speaker 3: pull apart, and I was like that again, it was
Speaker 3: just reminded. I just didn't want to look at it.
Speaker 3: So throughout those three weeks, I'm obviously dealing with what
Speaker 3: life's going to look like. I'm trying to figure out
Speaker 3: how to live life from there and there's obviously the
Speaker 3: reality of what that might look like, but then you're
Speaker 3: also trying to give yourself that bit of hope of
Speaker 3: being like, you know, maybe maybe maybe we can we
Speaker 3: can do something to overcome this. And the first time
Speaker 3: I did look at the leg I had to kind
Speaker 3: of get myself ready for it. I had to tell,
Speaker 3: you know, people around me, Okay, this is going to
Speaker 3: be the day, and actually have a look.
Speaker 4: And to be honest, it wasn't as bad as what I.
Speaker 2: Thought, which is that's a number bonus.
Speaker 3: Right it is, And I think it really kind of
Speaker 3: just goes to show the way in which we can
Speaker 3: paint those pictures in our heads of how bad and
Speaker 3: how terrible things can be, and it's not always the case,
Speaker 3: but a lot of the time they're not as bad
Speaker 3: as what you think. And I think that was probably
Speaker 3: I mean, it might have been a different story if
Speaker 3: I looked down and it was it was awful, But
Speaker 3: I remember looking down and being like, we can work
Speaker 3: with this. It's not as bad as what I think.
Speaker 3: And at that stage, I'd gotten a heap of support,
Speaker 3: so I'd started getting messages from people, you know, friends,
Speaker 3: family members, community, all of these people like people you
Speaker 3: wouldn't expect as well. Yeah, and then the surfing community worldwide.
Speaker 3: I remember when I was growing up, there's a surfing
Speaker 3: magazine called STAB Magazine, and it was my favorite magazine.
Speaker 4: My dream for so long is to.
Speaker 3: Get a video featured on their website, and it wasn't
Speaker 3: until I was attacked by a shark and they did
Speaker 3: a story on it that one of my videos that
Speaker 3: I did with Joel made it onto their website and
Speaker 3: people actually saw it and loved it, and I started
Speaker 3: getting support off that, started getting people like Owen and
Speaker 3: Mick Fanning and Kelly Slater sending me messages and I was.
Speaker 2: Like, oh, wow, that's cool.
Speaker 3: The support that you receive in those times is it's incredible.
Speaker 3: And I don't think you realize the support that you
Speaker 3: have until something bad happens, and it's honestly, it's a
Speaker 3: terrible way to find out. And I felt all of that,
Speaker 3: and there's one person who's part of that support, who
Speaker 3: I credit with essentially i'd say, changing my life, definitely
Speaker 3: changing the course of my recovery. So I'm laying in
Speaker 3: hospital one day and I get a text message come through.
Speaker 3: It's from a number that I don't know. But guy
Speaker 3: introduces himself. He says, hey, my name Scott. Actually went
Speaker 3: to school with Joel. I'm a physiotherapist from a local
Speaker 3: physiotherapy clinic in Kayama, so very close to to where
Speaker 3: I live. He kind of he'd heard about me and
Speaker 3: my story and he just wanted to offer his services
Speaker 3: in physiotherapy to help me get better. And he said, look,
Speaker 3: you've obviously got a long road ahead of you. We said,
Speaker 3: people failed not from aiming too high and missing, but
Speaker 3: from aiming too low and hitting. He said, look ab
Speaker 3: with determination and set lofty goals. And I remember steering
Speaker 3: at that message for a good ten to fifteen minutes
Speaker 3: and just thinking about essentially what it meant. And the
Speaker 3: first thing, like, I had to figure out what it
Speaker 3: means to aim too low and to miss, because that's
Speaker 3: something that we don't really think about all that often.
Speaker 3: And I guess the best way I used to describe
Speaker 3: it is like, and you'd have to excuse the lack
Speaker 3: of a better metaphor and a story about a shark attack,
Speaker 3: but what it means to aim too low and to miss,
Speaker 3: it's the equivalent of like choosing to go fish in
Speaker 3: a puddle or a pond as opposed to the vast
Speaker 3: open ocean. Yeah, the puddle in the pond can be
Speaker 3: safe and comfortable, but you're fishing there at the expense
Speaker 3: of Yeah, of course. So it got me to look
Speaker 3: at the goal that I was going to set. So
Speaker 3: I had to look at what it meant to be
Speaker 3: ambitious and to set a lofty goal, but also what
Speaker 3: it means to miss and what failure you know, what
Speaker 3: role failure plays. And I realized the only thing that
Speaker 3: would stop me from setting a lofty and ambitious goal
Speaker 3: from that point was the fear of failure, which was
Speaker 3: kind of easy for me to cast aside at that
Speaker 3: point in time because I had no other options. There
Speaker 3: was only really opportunity in front of me. And we
Speaker 3: talked about, you know, that regret. I didn't want to
Speaker 3: look back and didn't think I made the most of
Speaker 3: my recovery. So I just replied to Scott and said,
Speaker 3: you think I'll be able to surf again? And he
Speaker 3: was like, yeah, because if that's your thought that.
Speaker 2: The doctor said you not, you'd be lucky if you
Speaker 2: walk again, let alone surf, And so you went straight
Speaker 2: up to.
Speaker 4: I went straight straight to me.
Speaker 3: And it's obviously, like it can seem silly to a
Speaker 3: lot of people to be like, why would you know
Speaker 3: have the hubris to think that you can do that?
Speaker 3: But I think just hearing Scott's encouragement, like he was like, mate,
Speaker 3: if that's your thought, that's all we need, shows me
Speaker 3: your intention. I'll set up a recovery program that will
Speaker 3: head us in the direction of helping you surf again.
Speaker 3: He said, I have no idea how far we'll get,
Speaker 3: but at least let's give it a crack. That that
Speaker 3: for me, kickstarted my recovery Like it didn't happen overnight,
Speaker 3: took time, but working closely with Scott, he was the
Speaker 3: perfect person to help me get through it. Like I
Speaker 3: can't credit him enough with helping me get through that obviously,
Speaker 3: Like I'm the one that has to get in there
Speaker 3: every single day and do the work, but without having
Speaker 3: him believe in me and actually support me through that,
Speaker 3: like it was good to It's really good to have
Speaker 3: someone who can help you physically work your way through it,
Speaker 3: but then to be there as a friend and a
Speaker 3: mate and a supporter who wants the best for you
Speaker 3: like that, I think is a pretty unstoppable combination. So
Speaker 3: he helped me massively over the coming months as we
Speaker 3: worked our way through this recovery.
Speaker 2: How long after until you let's let's get past the
Speaker 2: walking bit, let's go straight to this. So how long
Speaker 2: after till you jumped on a surfboard and you caught
Speaker 2: your first wave after the shark attack?
Speaker 4: It was five months after the attack.
Speaker 2: Five months? Yeah, that's it. That's that's it. Which is
Speaker 2: he's going to say five years?
Speaker 3: No, So it's it's something. I It was the longest
Speaker 3: five months of my life. Obviously, time is different depending
Speaker 3: on the way in which I know. A lot of
Speaker 3: people look at it in that way and they say
Speaker 3: five months is like nothing. It wasn't not as bad
Speaker 3: as what it was, And I was like, no, to
Speaker 3: be honest, I when I set myself that goal of
Speaker 3: wanting to surf against it was the only thing I
Speaker 3: cared about.
Speaker 4: I was incredibly.
Speaker 3: Lucky that I had all those people supporting me that
Speaker 3: set up that basically put me in a position where
Speaker 3: they were like, your recovery is your full time job
Speaker 3: right now. So I was doing it seven days a
Speaker 3: week and going in every single day obsessed with it,
Speaker 3: and it wasn't obsessed in the way that I had
Speaker 3: to go in there and be the best every single day,
Speaker 3: Like it was just my mindset was actually just to
Speaker 3: show off every single day and trying to be a
Speaker 3: little bit better than the person I was yesterday.
Speaker 4: As well over and over again. Yeah, and that.
Speaker 2: Those tiny percentages isn't it is tipping up you know,
Speaker 2: zero points zero one more of a percent than you
Speaker 2: did yesterday. This zero to one hundred doesn't exist, you know.
Speaker 2: It's it's about acknowledging that it's going to know, it's
Speaker 2: going to take time. And but as long as you're
Speaker 2: on that trajectory of you know, and it's going up
Speaker 2: tiny substrata of a percentage at the time, then you
Speaker 2: know you're winning. That are small victories that you.
Speaker 4: Need right exactly.
Speaker 3: And those victories, it's funny in a recovery like that,
Speaker 3: those victories are really easy to see in the early days,
Speaker 3: like you make a huge amount of progress.
Speaker 4: They get smaller as time goes on. And that's that's.
Speaker 3: Where recovery does get difficult. When you're really really close
Speaker 3: to your goal and it's right there, but you just
Speaker 3: can't jump there. You have to kind of trust that
Speaker 3: you are still doing the right thing and you are
Speaker 3: going to get there. But that's really really tough to
Speaker 3: deal with. As much as it looks like you're you know,
Speaker 3: when you look back at where you started and where
Speaker 3: you are, you should be so proud of getting to
Speaker 3: that point, but you just want to get that little
Speaker 3: bit more and that little bit more. That for me,
Speaker 3: was probably the hardest part of my recovery, and that's
Speaker 3: where I really had to lean on a lot of
Speaker 3: that support.
Speaker 4: That was around me.
Speaker 3: And I've mentioned Owen Write's name a few times as
Speaker 3: we've been talking. I know you've chatted to him before.
Speaker 3: I just ran into him at a local cafe when
Speaker 3: he was going through his injury. And one of the
Speaker 3: big things that helped me through that back half my
Speaker 3: recovery was after I chatted to him and saw some
Speaker 3: of the struggles that he was going through, it made
Speaker 3: me realize that it wasn't just specific to me, like
Speaker 3: these are things that everyone has to deal with, and
Speaker 3: I think there's a bit of comfort you can take
Speaker 3: in knowing that people have been through those tough times
Speaker 3: before and they've gotten through them and you can do
Speaker 3: the same. And I think that was one of the
Speaker 3: things that got me over that last fifteen percent to
Speaker 3: the point of surfing again.
Speaker 2: Love it, mate, love it. And what I find fascinating
Speaker 2: about this story and there was an opportunity to have
Speaker 2: the shark cold and you said no, you didn't even
Speaker 2: question that. The answer, did you?
Speaker 3: Is like no, no, exactly when you grow up a
Speaker 3: surfer and you're going into that environment every single day,
Speaker 3: you know that that's their home, like it's it's something.
Speaker 3: I in no set of circumstances, could have felt any
Speaker 3: sort of malice towards the shark, just based on who
Speaker 3: I grew up as a surfer, believing like it's it's
Speaker 3: something that it wasn't even a question. And I think
Speaker 3: I didn't feel this in the moment, but this is
Speaker 3: something I've gained with a bit of perspective and some
Speaker 3: time to think about it. I, despite what happened to me,
Speaker 3: have a huge amount of love and respect for sharks.
Speaker 3: I think they are incredible creatures. I don't recommend you
Speaker 3: finding that out the way that I found it out,
Speaker 3: but they are just simply amazing creatures. I think if
Speaker 3: if you are questioning how you feel about sharks, go
Speaker 3: swimming with sharks obviously with professional healthier I've done that
Speaker 3: since the attack. Best experience of my life, like seeing
Speaker 3: them in the ocean just glide effortlessly through the water.
Speaker 3: That I think you when you can start to appreciate
Speaker 3: this creature that's been developed over three hundred and fifty
Speaker 3: million years, it's it's an incredible thing that we are
Speaker 3: kind of lucky to be able to share the planet with.
Speaker 3: And I think, you know, there's there's probably people that
Speaker 3: can hear me say that and still say I'd want
Speaker 3: the shark killed no matter what, Like it took something
Speaker 3: from me, and I want to take that.
Speaker 4: I want to take something from it.
Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, like the the
Speaker 3: menta that I've kind of lived by since the attack
Speaker 3: is that it's not about what happens to you. It's
Speaker 3: not about sharktack, it's not about any of that. Like
Speaker 3: what truly matters is how you respond, because that's where
Speaker 3: pride lives. And I think if that pride can come
Speaker 3: in the form of a recovery that you put everything into,
Speaker 3: when you achieve your goals and you can look back
Speaker 3: with and know that you're stronger because of it, and
Speaker 3: you can overcome anything. That's one part of pride, But
Speaker 3: I think the other part of pride is looking at
Speaker 3: the type of human that you can be in a
Speaker 3: situation like that, and if you can show some sort
Speaker 3: of humility and grace knowing that it would be so
Speaker 3: easy to turn the other way. I think that's something
Speaker 3: I can I know, regardless of anything else I do
Speaker 3: in my life, I can look back and be proud
Speaker 3: that that's a decision that I made and no one
Speaker 3: can say anything about it that can change my mind.
Speaker 2: Bret, absolutely love that, mate. Listen, keep up the positivity.
Speaker 2: You're a good man and it's a contagious mate. So
Speaker 2: thank you so much for coming on.
Speaker 4: Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2: Cheers, buddy.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 2: To find out more about Brett, head to his website
Speaker 2: Brettcanelin dot com or check out his documentary Attacking Life.
Speaker 2: I'll link the details in the show notes. Thanks for
Speaker 2: listening to this episode of Headgame. If you enjoyed it,
Speaker 2: I'd love if you could leave me a review. I'm
Speaker 2: Att Middleton. Catch you in the next episode.