Speaker 1: Getting morning every day day, adelaides. Dating can be very,
Speaker 1: very tough, and the new age it's not just about
Speaker 1: meeting people in the flesh. I mean most people these
Speaker 1: days meet through online apps. Am I right, news reader
Speaker 1: Abby and also produces.
Speaker 2: Really I mean, I don't know, but apparently that's what happened.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you do, you're lying.
Speaker 3: We get some solid feedback from these two dating dating
Speaker 3: apps suck. Next minute, I'm off the dating apps. Next minute,
Speaker 3: I'm back on the dating app. Back on.
Speaker 1: There's all sorts of different dating apps as well, from
Speaker 1: what's the classy one.
Speaker 2: Raya, No, that's the famous ones you gotta be real special.
Speaker 1: Through to Tinder, which is for the genuine dirty birds.
Speaker 1: Have you got a blue ticket on Tinder? I've got
Speaker 1: a brown tick. That's kind of sound. Story about that,
Speaker 1: and I had no intention of doing that. So here's
Speaker 1: the thing. First impressions online just as important as in
Speaker 1: the flesh. A recent survey of single people revealed the
Speaker 1: worst messages to send a potential match hit us, please
Speaker 1: first impressions. Three quarters of respondents admitted that they lost
Speaker 1: the interest in someone who messaged too much. Nothing's changed
Speaker 1: over the journey. There sixty three percent, which they could
Speaker 1: skip the virtual conversation me in person right away. Sexually
Speaker 1: suggestive messages were also extremely off putting, Contrary to a
Speaker 1: pickup artist might claim slinging cheesy one line is a
Speaker 1: sure fire way to stay solo. That's what they're saying.
Speaker 3: Can I drill down on the sexual one? Apparently these
Speaker 3: days it goes from not to one hundred real quick.
Speaker 3: Really oh yeah messages. So it goes from hey, how
Speaker 3: are you I like your pick? Da da dada?
Speaker 4: Into do you want me to send a DP?
Speaker 3: Yah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, if you're lucky.
Speaker 1: Usually it's unsolicited, Yeah, all sorts of different things. I'm
Speaker 1: going to give you the top five worst messages to
Speaker 1: send someone on a dating outrating from fourth from fifth
Speaker 1: to the worst. But I will give you some honorable
Speaker 1: mentions on the list. That number nineteen was you up?
Speaker 1: Number thirteen three letters with a question mark DTF whatever
Speaker 1: that means? Am I right? So you guys hungry down
Speaker 1: to feast? I could go some breakfast. Number eleven, You're
Speaker 1: so hot spelled h.
Speaker 3: A W t O.
Speaker 1: Number nine, hey at least five wis and number eight
Speaker 1: Before we get the top five, and this is my favorite.
Speaker 1: Four hwa r r four damn all right. Number five
Speaker 1: is without me, as in when you say you're going
Speaker 1: to take a shower without me? Oh, no, Number four?
Speaker 1: Do you like bad boys or girls?
Speaker 4: Depending on the situation, bad boys, what you're going to do?
Speaker 1: Number three? Couple of people use this, but hey, sexy,
Speaker 1: what's your number? Number two? Number two just the flat
Speaker 1: out egg plant emoji has said that plan emojing.
Speaker 4: I really like egg plant though.
Speaker 1: Eggs delicious really just very purple, Yeah, very purple, but
Speaker 1: very delicious.
Speaker 4: Here's where you're waking up to Adelaide.
Speaker 1: What's the news today?
Speaker 4: Snooziness.
Speaker 3: So much has happened over the last forty eight hours. Actually,
Speaker 3: let's go to Abby in the newsroom and find out
Speaker 3: what's pressing news.
Speaker 4: Please, Well this one.
Speaker 2: The amount of messages I received on Saturday morning was crazy,
Speaker 2: going can you give us any It shed some light
Speaker 2: on what's going on. So basically, there was a massive
Speaker 2: fire in the building that contains the iconic and historic
Speaker 2: Oxford Hotel in North Adelaide. Hazy, I'm looking at you.
Speaker 2: You've probably had a fit of damage.
Speaker 1: There, looking at myself as well. The Oxford was the
Speaker 1: place when we turned up. So I got here in
Speaker 1: two thousand. The Oxford mixing me a little bit of
Speaker 1: Archer was a place that we'd go every single Saturday
Speaker 1: night looking for a soul mate.
Speaker 4: Well, some bad news there.
Speaker 2: Basically a man is going to be facing court today
Speaker 2: because he's charged with arson after a fire damaged the
Speaker 2: building that the Oxford Hotel is in. The damage bills
Speaker 2: anywhere between two to three million dollars.
Speaker 4: Now some good news.
Speaker 2: I know, it's not obviously a fire and it's horrible,
Speaker 2: but there's some good news.
Speaker 4: Nobody was injured.
Speaker 2: But also the actual pub and the facade of the
Speaker 2: hotel is okay. So it basically was accommodation behind the
Speaker 2: hotel which was damaged, right, But yeah, the flames were huge.
Speaker 2: There was O'Connell Street was shut down pretty much all day,
Speaker 2: so a lot of those businesses obviously lost out. You
Speaker 2: Saturday is usually pretty busy for them. But yeah, thirty
Speaker 2: seven year old man will face the Adelaide Magistrates Court today,
Speaker 2: so we'll hear a little bit more about it. But yeah,
Speaker 2: the pretty horrible news for the Oxford, especially if it
Speaker 2: had been damaged.
Speaker 1: That's outageous. I think I've told this throughout four jars,
Speaker 1: but I remember getting our football club sponsorship band from
Speaker 1: the Oxygen. He stole a bottle of Ozer all different.
Speaker 4: I think of all the things for you to steal.
Speaker 4: Uzo grows the spirit on the planet.
Speaker 1: You couldn't see. What we could see was the top.
Speaker 1: Did know what it was, So it's like a lucky drawer.
Speaker 1: He stole this bottle tilken bathrooms like.
Speaker 4: Zo and then start it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, do you know what's going to feel really good tomorrow?
Speaker 3: That hangover on a licorice flavored liqueur. I like lickrish,
Speaker 3: though I would have drunk it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Anyway, we've had the moment of the games so far.
Speaker 3: And not all heroes win gold medals.
Speaker 1: What not? All heroes a rip as well.
Speaker 3: No, So basically the swimming at the arena was holded
Speaker 3: temporarily when a mysterious underwear clad figure stole the show.
Speaker 3: So the breaststroke, one of the swimmers lost their caps
Speaker 3: and so someone someone had to go and retrieve it
Speaker 3: from the middle of the pool, and so he was
Speaker 3: a volunteer pull. He stripped down to his very colorful
Speaker 3: budget smugglers. There were wolf whistles in the crowd in
Speaker 3: what can only be described as an epic dad bod.
Speaker 4: So this man did this in front of.
Speaker 3: A global TV audience, mind you, and so he's jumped in.
Speaker 3: There was a rousing applause. It was just it was
Speaker 3: the moment of the games.
Speaker 1: For mine, this is this is every man's greatest fear
Speaker 1: that at the moment, at the moment you take your
Speaker 1: shirt off, everyone's going to give you stick.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Potentially the next step is it goes viral for you
Speaker 1: having a dad bod.
Speaker 2: What I don't understand though, is that at the Games
Speaker 2: they have a lifeguard. So there is a lifeguard at
Speaker 2: the pool, and you think about it, these are the
Speaker 2: world's best swimmers and your job is to be a lifeguard.
Speaker 4: But why didn't he go and jump in? I'm not sure, mate,
Speaker 4: Why does it? Why would it have to be down
Speaker 4: to this guy.
Speaker 1: He's one and only call to action and he was
Speaker 1: in the jump dad.
Speaker 3: But also do what everyone else does when feeling a
Speaker 3: little bit self conscious about it, but.
Speaker 4: Keep your t shirt on. It's okay.
Speaker 2: Imagine if he Imagine if he wrapped a towel around
Speaker 2: him and just gone and then like taking it off
Speaker 2: just as he jumped in. So anyway, he's become a
Speaker 2: bit of a cult hero in the same vein as
Speaker 2: can you remember Eric Musson, Bambi.
Speaker 1: Eric Eric the Hill? Yes, I think he's still trying
Speaker 1: to finish right now. Do you know what the big
Speaker 1: giveaway for Eric the Hill was he lined up with
Speaker 1: the with his swimmers, which looked perfectly fine, but he
Speaker 1: had the drawstring on the outside. Do you think about it?
Speaker 1: When it was last time a professional swimmer, I had
Speaker 1: the drawstring hanging on the outside.
Speaker 4: That's so true. Goodness, way, I.
Speaker 1: Wonder what Eric the Hill's doing right now. I'm not sure,
Speaker 1: he said, And I'm so sure of this. He said
Speaker 1: that his goal for the next Olympics two thousand and
Speaker 1: four was to win an Olympic medal. He's actually come
Speaker 1: to fruition.
Speaker 4: He's now coaching queare yes dead set serious?
Speaker 2: A week after Sydney, the President received me and said
Speaker 2: he was going to build pools for the future swimmers.
Speaker 1: I am a coach of his.
Speaker 3: What not to do?
Speaker 1: Don't do what Eric did.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we all had someone like that at school though,
Speaker 3: who's just genuinely couldn't swim and their parents are like, yes,
Speaker 3: you have to swim at the swimming cart.
Speaker 1: That was me kid from the country. I couldn't swim.
Speaker 1: There was a bloke from Banana in Queensland from my
Speaker 1: school who's even worse. He couldn't dive, so he had
Speaker 1: to jump in and then push off the name of
Speaker 1: Adam Gunthorpe. Couldn't dive. I had to go in feet
Speaker 1: first and then push off. Unbelievable.
Speaker 3: That's very UnAustralian to live here and not be able
Speaker 3: to dive.
Speaker 4: Into a pool.
Speaker 1: And that guy changed his name now Ian Thorpe.
Speaker 2: I still hold my nose when I go underwater. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I still hold my nose. You'll be on the kneeboard
Speaker 2: and you probably wouldn't fall off, but you go, oh,
Speaker 2: I think that'll fall off, so you hold your nose.
Speaker 4: I'm a child.
Speaker 1: A bunch of athletes here, what it's all about. Go Australia,
Speaker 1: just sitting pretty on top of the metal board.
Speaker 4: After two days.
Speaker 1: Two days, expect that to stay like that? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: particularly with the athletic Yeah.
Speaker 4: Particularly when we get into the running.
Speaker 1: Ah, we love the tillies. Gosh, I nearly pood the bed,
Speaker 1: really nearly soiled the bed hard, didn't they?
Speaker 4: Five all it was until the nine eight minutes.
Speaker 1: And then mum, just before they poved the bed, Mum
Speaker 1: got them out, rush them to the toilet just in time.
Speaker 1: I think it was mid air. Here's one for it
Speaker 1: which surprised me. Have you ever thought and maybe you haven't,
Speaker 1: but I'm going to tell you anyway of the amount
Speaker 1: of money athletes earned from their country for winning a
Speaker 1: medal at the Games, Because there's no prize money from
Speaker 1: the Olympics itself, it's up to the country, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: would you expect Australia to award their athletes heaps of money?
Speaker 3: I don't think we do, but I do think like
Speaker 3: the renumeration comes in the form of sponsorship, et cetera.
Speaker 4: Post Games.
Speaker 1: So Australia bronze medal ten thousand dollars, you'll get silver
Speaker 1: medal fifteen thousand, and of gold just twenty thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: That seems that rageous, doesn't really. I mean, how much
Speaker 1: money would you put on a gold medal? Yeah, but
Speaker 1: it varies from country to country. Okay, you would think
Speaker 1: in the US you'd make heaps of money, but not
Speaker 1: much more than Australia bronze fifteen thousand, silver twenty two thousand,
Speaker 1: five hundred and gold thirty seven thousand, five hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: That's me rageous, isn't it?
Speaker 3: When you compare that to say, you know, soccer players
Speaker 3: you take home nine hundred thousand dollars a week.
Speaker 4: That seems crazy.
Speaker 1: I'll say this much, lebron James and Steph Curry. They
Speaker 1: ain't there for the money, that's for sure. France Bronze
Speaker 1: sixteen and a half, silver twenty seven and a half
Speaker 1: and gold seventy one thousand dollars. Spain it's getting up
Speaker 1: there now. Bronze thirty two thousand, nine hundred, silver fifty
Speaker 1: two thousand, six hundred and gold one hundred and two thousand,
Speaker 1: nine hundred dollars.
Speaker 4: Okay, that seems better.
Speaker 1: That seems better. What about this though, Singapore? You've been
Speaker 1: a bronze medal hundred eighty four thousand dollars. That's not bad.
Speaker 1: Silver three hundred and sixty eight thousand dollars in gold
Speaker 1: seven hundred and thirty seven thousand dollars.
Speaker 4: Whoa out of interest?
Speaker 3: Where Singapore sitting on the metal talley at the moment.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure they've registered medal yet. But that's okay
Speaker 1: if they do. Whoever wins that medal is going to
Speaker 1: absolutely just soak in some cash. Here's an instrument. Norway Bronze, silver, gold,
Speaker 1: zero pay their athletes. What's for the pride?
Speaker 4: Baby, It doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: That's not anyway one hundred percent. That's like, yeah, hot,
Speaker 1: you don't need it. You're fine. You have a million
Speaker 1: follows on Instagram at o. Here's my favorite though, kazikh Stan.
Speaker 1: If you win a bronze medal, you get yourself a
Speaker 1: one room apartment.
Speaker 3: Nice?
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, silver, you get yourself a two room apartment.
Speaker 3: Woll get you?
Speaker 1: I like sets and I like a two room apartment.
Speaker 2: Hey, good's that?
Speaker 1: And for a gold medal you get yourself a three
Speaker 1: room apartment.
Speaker 3: Wow, this.
Speaker 4: Is you are and.
Speaker 1: Probably a Kazakhstan athlete just taking us for a bit
Speaker 1: of a tour of his recent apartment. Very nice, I'll
Speaker 1: tell you this as well. Yell Dos Smetof in the
Speaker 1: men's sixty kilo Judo won a gold medal the other day.
Speaker 1: Very nice, indeed, oh my goodness. And here was his
Speaker 1: post fight interview straight after winning a gold medal, King
Speaker 1: in the Castle, King in the Castle, I have a chill. Congratulations.
Speaker 1: Now that's a joke. That's a job, job, a terrible job.
Speaker 3: She is.
Speaker 1: We are led so fearlessly, courageously by news read aby,
Speaker 1: good morning.
Speaker 4: It's very aggressive.
Speaker 1: That's how passionate I feel about you in this space.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much, good on you so much.
Speaker 3: So we're gonna let you kick us off this morning.
Speaker 4: I never start.
Speaker 1: So that's exciting because every time we assemble, and sometimes
Speaker 1: it's weeks out yet who's got the best joke? And
Speaker 1: you say, well, it's me, so I'll go last.
Speaker 4: True are usually trumpy too.
Speaker 1: And now are you saying bold he's doing the first leg?
Speaker 4: Yeah, correct, let's bolt off and do this. Okay. So
Speaker 4: there was a man and a woman.
Speaker 2: They didn't know each other, and they were flying for work. Anyway,
Speaker 2: they get to the hotel and they both check in
Speaker 2: and unfortunately there's been a stuff up and they're both
Speaker 2: in the same room. They're on bunk beds, and they go, okay, look,
Speaker 2: it's fine, not ideal. We're only here for one night,
Speaker 2: so it's okay. So he's on the top bunk, she's
Speaker 2: on the bottom. Halfway through the night, he says, oh,
Speaker 2: excuse me, excuse me, would you mind grubbing a blanket
Speaker 2: for me? She goes, Oh, I've got a better idea.
Speaker 2: How about we pretend that we're married, and he thinks, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm seeing someone, but you know, this could be a
Speaker 2: bit of farm like we'll never see her again. That's fine.
Speaker 2: So she then turns around and says to him, get
Speaker 2: your own damn blanket then, which he replies by letting
Speaker 2: one rip.
Speaker 3: No, I don't get they're pre getting to be married.
Speaker 1: Now, don't actually pass gas in a relationship, not me, not.
Speaker 4: Me shooting out that.
Speaker 3: We're not even in a relationship with you, and we
Speaker 3: know that that's.
Speaker 1: A lot you don't win in front of you.
Speaker 2: Girl.
Speaker 4: He hasn't, not that I know of it.
Speaker 1: I've nearly popped a couple of times, don't worry about that.
Speaker 1: And I just made the time.
Speaker 3: There was that one time that producer EM and I
Speaker 3: were standing outside of the toilets when you went in
Speaker 3: and you were a little vocal already on the phone,
Speaker 3: and yeah, that was a.
Speaker 1: Different situation, but the walls, the walls rocking that day.
Speaker 1: All right, guys, we'll boot up to you. I'll go
Speaker 1: next to Okay, sure, now, ladies while we are talking
Speaker 1: about things a little bit blue. I'm not saying that
Speaker 1: I'm attractive, but what I will say is when I
Speaker 1: take my clothes off in the bathroom, I turned the
Speaker 1: shower on.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was.
Speaker 1: Was quite joke. It was good.
Speaker 3: Okay, you got all right. There were two hunters in
Speaker 3: the woods. One of them collapses. His eyes were glazed
Speaker 3: and he was horribly power and he wasn't moving. So
Speaker 3: the other man, but, oh my god, what do I do?
Speaker 3: So he whips out his phone and he calls triple
Speaker 3: zero and the dispatch lady says, okay, do not panic first.
Speaker 3: What we have to do is make sure that he's dead.
Speaker 3: And the hunter goes okay, and then everything goes silent,
Speaker 3: and then there's a shotgun bang.
Speaker 4: And he gets back on the phone.
Speaker 3: He goes, now, what's a bit?
Speaker 1: Do you know what communication is vital in these situations
Speaker 1: because there's miscommunication or lack of understanding with communications death.
Speaker 2: Do you think Jerney understands what a joke is? Is
Speaker 2: that the lack of communication?
Speaker 4: Oh wow, shotgun bang? You in a minute?
Speaker 1: That's a challenge to there to someone else double nine
Speaker 1: one nine nine or nine Joe it's a few times
Speaker 1: this morning we've been talking about how we could get
Speaker 1: ourselves involved in the games without actually having to compete
Speaker 1: over in Paris, because very much passed our prime athletically.
Speaker 3: Oh that's okay, you speak for yourself, mate, I'm still
Speaker 3: getting out there and having a crack at last.
Speaker 4: On the weekends.
Speaker 1: You're having a crack. But you hobbled in this morning,
Speaker 1: old limpy McGee with that bung ankle.
Speaker 4: Now, okay, eyes.
Speaker 1: Recovered though, it's my eyes. Bet your eyes completely recovered.
Speaker 3: But I fell over myself at Neple. So now I've
Speaker 3: got a fat ankle.
Speaker 1: Now you got a burst blood vessel in your ankle.
Speaker 2: Yeah, did you fall over at Evil because your eye
Speaker 2: was still a bit?
Speaker 3: Mate?
Speaker 4: No, my eyes cleared up. We've just established that.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I was just reading if it was cleared
Speaker 2: up on Saturday, because when you left Friday it wasn't.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, Well, thank you for my full medical history.
Speaker 3: But this Monday morning, I really appreciate you.
Speaker 1: The point of the story is we're looking for opportunities
Speaker 1: to immerse ourselves in the game's vibes without actually competing.
Speaker 1: So what we decided to come up with Yeah, that's right,
Speaker 1: Jodi and Hazy's average Games. This week we're going to
Speaker 1: go head to head in average task. We need your
Speaker 1: health to vote on who wins and becomes the gold
Speaker 1: medalist for our average games.
Speaker 3: I love this for us because, let's face it, I'm
Speaker 3: not going to be Jess Fox. You're not going to
Speaker 3: be you know, Carl Chalmers, So let's be good at
Speaker 3: being average.
Speaker 1: Love this four average games.
Speaker 2: It's one of Adelaide's biggest rivalries.
Speaker 3: Oh boy, what are.
Speaker 4: You full of?
Speaker 1: Hamstring?
Speaker 4: Oning Andrew runs with his shirt of haze.
Speaker 1: We just want to take it one day at a time.
Speaker 1: We're not looking too far ahead, nor are we looking
Speaker 1: too far in the past. So it's all about control
Speaker 1: and the controllables and trusting the process.
Speaker 4: Jodi has one million kids. Boddie like a woman who
Speaker 4: has done so many chores that she's nearly broken.
Speaker 2: But now is the opportunity to put all those gills
Speaker 2: to go do two athletes fierce rivals.
Speaker 1: There we go, that's the secret idea.
Speaker 2: Too, will put everything on the line to bring home
Speaker 2: the gold.
Speaker 1: Oh, there you go. We need to crown of gold medalists. Yeah,
Speaker 1: is he going to be Jody is going to be hazy.
Speaker 1: Three tasks and unfortunately for you, jokes making girls isn't
Speaker 1: one of them, otherwise you'd be gold medal.
Speaker 3: No, okay, So I'm going to run you through the
Speaker 3: task that we have to complete to become the average
Speaker 3: Games champion.
Speaker 4: You're ready for this. The first one ironing a shirt?
Speaker 1: Oh boy, you you know my weakness.
Speaker 3: Well, I think I've got you covered on this one, because,
Speaker 3: let's be honest, the poor ladies at Channel seven have
Speaker 3: to do it for you.
Speaker 4: So when was the last time you owned a shirt?
Speaker 1: I've tried to iron quite really, you know how embarrassing
Speaker 1: it is. And this happens every single time I iron
Speaker 1: my own shirt. And then I go and was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you want to throw an iron on that thing? And
Speaker 1: I'll oh, yeah, I didn't have time, but in my
Speaker 1: head I'm like I did, and I left thinking it
Speaker 1: was brilliant.
Speaker 4: Yeah exactly.
Speaker 3: And also Suzanne wasn't available, So how did you do
Speaker 3: it myself? She busy taking care of will Goodings, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean, in his top shelf.
Speaker 1: So there's any spare time after that, I'll jump in there.
Speaker 3: But where do you sit in the tear system at
Speaker 3: Channel seventy in terms of ironing shirts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I'm top six. I think it might
Speaker 1: come six. Bear in mind it's a category of six.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 3: The second category will be making a coffee on a
Speaker 3: barista magic.
Speaker 1: I think I know who's got you covered in this one.
Speaker 3: You should excel in this space because you are the
Speaker 3: head barister at the saurday have a last stayer.
Speaker 1: Finally, this me and my chances are really shine and
Speaker 1: no chat, no awkward chit chat is required.
Speaker 3: Well, if you were to compete in an awkward chit chat,
Speaker 3: you too would be a gold medalist. And the third
Speaker 3: category will be putting a quilt cover on a quilt?
Speaker 4: Is that the hardest domestic dur of all time?
Speaker 1: That is almost impossible? I know, I know, mates, they
Speaker 1: got lost for weeks to weeks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like where's Benny? Is he stuck in his quilt again?
Speaker 1: And we're like, oh no, he didn't try and put
Speaker 1: a quik cover on Diddy? Oh no, no, Danny, come
Speaker 1: back to us.
Speaker 3: What about when you try and find the corner of
Speaker 3: the quilt in the actual quilt cover, that's where you
Speaker 3: get lost.
Speaker 4: Like fishing around embarrassing.
Speaker 1: That's where you get lost.
Speaker 4: Okay, they are our three tasks.
Speaker 3: The videos will be posted on our instapage at Jody
Speaker 3: and Hazy, and by Friday we are going to have
Speaker 3: a winner to crown.
Speaker 1: There you go, Jody and Hazesy's average games first video
Speaker 1: is going to go up tomorrow at Jody and Hazy