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Speaker 1: Apogae Production.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the She Rises Podcast.

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Speaker 1: I'm Ashy and I'm Tiana.

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Speaker 3: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to

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Speaker 3: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself.

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Speaker 2: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone

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Speaker 2: else is too afraid to talk about.

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Speaker 1: Get ready for your next level of self.

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Speaker 2: Hello, everybody, Welcome back to She Rides with the Ashy,

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Speaker 2: Tiana and Steve. Hello, he's back in the building. So

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Speaker 2: today we're talking a bunch of different things. We've got

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Speaker 2: a bunch of questions we want to ask you because

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Speaker 2: we obviously talk on the podcast all the time. I

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Speaker 2: talk about motherhood, I talk about business, to talk about

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Speaker 2: my life, lessons, my journey, and they want to hear

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Speaker 2: your perspective, like a male's perspective, a dad's perspective, my

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Speaker 2: husband's perspective.

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Speaker 1: So let's get straight into it.

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Speaker 2: Let's bring it, let's do it all right, let's start

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Speaker 2: nice and light. You're a father of two. I've got

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Speaker 2: a nine year old boy together and a three year old, sassy,

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Speaker 2: spicy little girl. What's the best thing about being a dad.

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Speaker 4: Ooh so good. The unconditional love when they run to

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Speaker 4: the door when you come home, or the cuddles in

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Speaker 4: the morning, all that sort of stuff.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, those little moments.

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Speaker 2: Hey, Like even when you leave each morning, she gets

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Speaker 2: so upset if he leaves without a million kisses and cuddles.

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Speaker 1: Causa cuddle, Daddy, go on the car be.

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Speaker 4: Like Like physical touch used to be such a love

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Speaker 4: language for me, but I just get so much of

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Speaker 4: it from the kids.

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Speaker 1: It's yeah, and you need a wife.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm very touchy. What's something that you wish you

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Speaker 2: knew back then when you first became a dad that

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Speaker 2: you knew now?

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Speaker 4: I would say, just how important it is to have

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Speaker 4: a really solid foundation in relationship.

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Speaker 2: That's what your kids see and what the end of

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Speaker 2: role model?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, the energy to it just sets up the

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Speaker 4: whole house.

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Speaker 1: Really it does.

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Speaker 2: When we're good, it just overflows them.

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Speaker 1: They feel it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, energy is so important, isn't it Just like an

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Speaker 2: any household. Yeah, they'd be the first ones to feel

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Speaker 2: it too. You know, mom and dad are off or

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Speaker 2: they're not feeling good, and.

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Speaker 4: Just those times when we've had arguments in front of

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Speaker 4: the kids and you just see them. It's just so sad.

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Speaker 1: That's the word.

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Speaker 4: Doesn't happen often, but when it has happened, it's.

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Speaker 2: Especially the old one. I feel like, especially Tage, like

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Speaker 2: he's old enough to understand that, like we are having

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Speaker 2: a disagreement, and that the energy is really.

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Speaker 3: The little look on his face to you, I could

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Speaker 3: have magine, So don't argue, love each other.

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Speaker 4: Everything's okay.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, so sad. It is really sad.

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Speaker 3: How has that been for you having both a daughter

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Speaker 3: and a son, Like do you feel like you have

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Speaker 3: had to learn how to parent differently based on having

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Speaker 3: a son and a daughter? Do you feel like you

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Speaker 3: show up differently?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, a little bit. I find myself vitaged, like if

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Speaker 4: he injured himself or whatever, you wouldn't give him as

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Speaker 4: much like empathy, I guess, like, whereas Tala like, I've

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Speaker 4: got a little how oh my god, you for a

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Speaker 4: little thing?

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Speaker 2: Is that age too though?

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Speaker 1: Because she's only maybe.

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Speaker 4: He's I just caught myself the other day how much

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Speaker 4: I like baby baby? Yeah, like my little princess.

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Speaker 3: Because obviously there's such different personalities, right, they're different ages.

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Speaker 3: If Tyler is very big and bold and sassy, and

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Speaker 3: then Taj is quite reserved and granted he has energy

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Speaker 3: similar to yours.

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Speaker 1: You know, that's so true, actually.

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Speaker 3: Very gentle energy. Is there one that triggers you more?

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Speaker 3: And if so, how Uh?

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Speaker 4: Ty's just triggering me at the moment, you know, it

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Speaker 4: doesn't listen.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, answers bad, all resists. Is that that age?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just more of an age thing. I'm sure

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Speaker 4: when Tyler's a teenager, oh god, how or both the

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Speaker 4: teenagers is going to be different?

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that must be interesting though to see the

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Speaker 3: change and because he is coming into his own personality now,

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Speaker 3: he's coming into his own thoughts and the way of

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Speaker 3: thinking and coming into his own which.

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Speaker 1: Is great, Like you want them to have their own ways.

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Speaker 1: Is there anything specific that triggers you?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 1: Is it the talking back? Is it noise?

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Speaker 4: For me? It's just he's not communicating properly, Like he's

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Speaker 4: just not listening, you know, the things. I've worked with

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Speaker 4: kids all my life, and it's definitely just an appropriate thing.

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Speaker 4: I'm yeah sure on a personality trait, I don't.

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Speaker 2: Think witnessing you be a dad, I find it takes

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Speaker 2: a lot to rattle you, Like it's not very often

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Speaker 2: you'll get just regulated or snap or yell or like

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Speaker 2: you're pretty cool and calm. Is there anything that.

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Speaker 1: Just grinds your gears like you're like, oh, I just can't.

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Speaker 4: It's a stacking effect. I think when you've got like

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Speaker 4: things happening at once and then when the kids fight

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Speaker 4: and you can't.

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Speaker 1: S Yeah, that's a lot at the moment.

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Speaker 4: My last one, I think was when they just could

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Speaker 4: not get along.

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Speaker 1: I was in the sauna, like, yeah, he's like I'm out.

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Speaker 4: I was just letting him go and you're just ging

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Speaker 4: back into a it's.

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Speaker 1: Going off, like I'm trying to rea the sort of

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Speaker 1: what is happening.

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Speaker 4: I've lost it.

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Speaker 1: Steve's over here locking him in the room. We've sorted outselves.

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Speaker 4: That's probably the bickering between the two.

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Speaker 1: I think that's the hardest thing at the moment.

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Speaker 4: It's just an age thing again. I think, Yeah, and.

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Speaker 2: They both antagonize each other, but then like antagonize, it

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Speaker 2: can flip and they.

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Speaker 4: Can be so cute enjoy antagonizing it. It's an age

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Speaker 4: thing again, but you just enjoys it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: As a parent, what do you think your strength is? Like,

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Speaker 2: I think I know what your strength is come littlehead. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think you're going to be amazing. And you already

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Speaker 2: are as like their safe place or do it think

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Speaker 2: I've told you, like you've spoken about this. Yeah. When

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Speaker 2: they've become teenagers and they want to go out to

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Speaker 2: parties or you know, the friend's gonna have alcohol there, I'm.

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Speaker 1: Going to be the stressing mom like, eh, don't drink,

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Speaker 1: don't take drugs.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, if Taj wants to drink, say at

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Speaker 4: fifteen sixteen, or it comes home drunk, Like yeah.

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Speaker 2: I honestly my work is going to be just regulating

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Speaker 2: my own nervous system. And I think you'll be leading

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Speaker 2: in that and I'll be leaning on you.

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Speaker 4: I think I should.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it'd beautiful at it. They're going to

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Speaker 2: feel really safe to come to you and tell you anything,

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Speaker 2: and I want to be that as well. I'm super

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Speaker 2: aware of it. It's just like practicing being that.

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Speaker 3: But you're also being a parent for the first time

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Speaker 3: as well, for the both of you, Like there's a

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Speaker 3: season in parenthood that you haven't had to navigate before,

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Speaker 3: so naturally there will be challenges that come up for

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Speaker 3: you both in different areas. You know, and how beautiful

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Speaker 3: it actually can lean on you in that time to

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Speaker 3: be their and then.

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Speaker 1: There'll be things that you that Steve can lear in

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Speaker 1: that sense too.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Well, I definitely appreciate the rules in this strictness

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Speaker 4: that you have, Like I wouldn't say even strict, just

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Speaker 4: boundaries parenting, you know, Like I'm a little bit more flexible. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: a lot of things, and definitely can't have that all.

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Speaker 1: The time, like kids need boundaries, boundaries.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's beautiful because I think it's nice to

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Speaker 2: have different energies for different reasons. And the all the softness.

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Speaker 2: It's annoying sometimes because I'm like, I don't want to

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Speaker 2: be the bad guy. Sometimes I literally say to Steep,

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Speaker 2: I've asked them four times, you want to do it?

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Speaker 1: Now?

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Speaker 2: You always step up and do it. But sometimes I

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Speaker 2: think you just let me need to be the bad guy.

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Speaker 4: I can just hold it a little bit longer.

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Speaker 2: True, Yeah, my patients a little bit fuses a little bit. Yes,

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Speaker 2: I'm definitely more tapped out. Once and it's five PM,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, what do you think your strength is?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, just loving on them, loving on all

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Speaker 2: of who they are.

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Speaker 1: What do you think Ashley's strength.

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Speaker 4: Is caring for them. Yeah, making sure that they're looked after,

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Speaker 4: everything's sorted.

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Speaker 2: They're always on my mind, Like I'm always ten steps

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Speaker 2: ahead of like what they might need and how I

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Speaker 2: can take care of them, and how I can make

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Speaker 2: the day amazing, and how I can support them more

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Speaker 2: like the very Yeah, I'm always forward thinking and like

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Speaker 2: just how can I support and be there for them more?

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Speaker 2: I think as a parent, Like I found that question

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Speaker 2: hard to answer because I'd like you day yourself, Well,

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Speaker 2: I know, I do always want to be a better parent,

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Speaker 2: and I hold guilt and shame from the times that

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Speaker 2: I have lost my marbles or you know human Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: get impatient with them or I don't think I ever

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Speaker 2: invalidate them. But sometimes I'll say to Taj, like is

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Speaker 2: that worth getting this upset about?

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Speaker 1: Like having to go to bed at seven thirties?

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Speaker 4: I want to watch that football.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, darling, I get it. However, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: would you've liked to have more kids? This gets us

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Speaker 2: on socials all the time.

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Speaker 4: If you could have many as many, I reckon, But

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Speaker 4: it's just not practical. Way, Yeah, it's too hard to

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Speaker 4: do a good job.

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Speaker 1: And do a good job.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, to be a parent that I want to be.

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Speaker 4: But I'd love to have a big tribe, you know awesome.

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Speaker 2: Say when you get older, you'd never regret having any

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Speaker 2: kids because that's all you live for, love and watching

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Speaker 2: them grow.

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Speaker 4: Your dynamic would have to be a lot different to

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Speaker 4: have more kids. Yeah, one stay home.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and it's less time for each other as well.

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Speaker 2: I think we're someone that really values like our freedom,

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Speaker 2: our hobbies, our time together, our stay case and like

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Speaker 2: that would definitely take a back seat more.

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Speaker 4: I'd love to see the stat on such terious women

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Speaker 4: the average kids to be subt.

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Speaker 2: The freedom factor, Oh oh my gosh, that sagittarious love,

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Speaker 2: all those memes that come through. It's always freedom, adventure play.

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Speaker 1: And then Libra, you're a Libra.

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Speaker 2: You're very like balanced, calme, open minded, fair, It's good mix.

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Speaker 2: I put in chat to be to the other day.

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Speaker 2: I was like Libra man, sagittarious woman, and it was

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Speaker 2: like such a good fit, Like I really balance each

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Speaker 2: other out and I make life really expansive and he

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Speaker 2: brings them like grounds me.

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Speaker 1: It's like a good match for you guys.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, do you see the kids in both of you, like,

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Speaker 3: is there one child that you think is more like you?

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Speaker 3: And then same with Ashy.

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Speaker 4: It's funny because I think Taj looks like you, but

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Speaker 4: it acts like me. Ya, Tyler looks like me and excellent.

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Speaker 1: I was going to say the same thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's wild. It's so true. You put Tyler and

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Speaker 2: Steve together and they're like twins and mean Taj. Even

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Speaker 2: that detail of our eye color, which is yellow green fails,

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Speaker 2: long round of face.

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Speaker 1: C and the noses.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think Tyler's bit more me, a

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Speaker 2: bit more wild, loves attention, wants to be on stage.

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Speaker 1: She's a girl's girl. Look at me.

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Speaker 2: She's a girl's girl.

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Speaker 1: Girl's girl.

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Speaker 3: She's a girls club, girls club, girls club, No boy's club,

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Speaker 3: no boys.

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Speaker 1: Literally says that out laugh.

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Speaker 2: Even yesterday I was like, I'm gonna go get my

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Speaker 2: car or she want to come Tyler, and she goes,

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Speaker 2: what are the boys doing it? The boys are saying

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Speaker 2: here and she goes, yeah, like she was stoked. It's

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Speaker 2: just going to get the car.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. She's funny.

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Speaker 2: I'd love to know your like, obviously I know her,

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Speaker 2: but for everyone listening your thoughts on screen time for children.

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Speaker 4: Well, one, it's necessary in some times where you've got

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Speaker 4: to get things done, like as a parent. It's a

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Speaker 4: tool that you can't underestimate. Does the job perfectly, like

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Speaker 4: you know what I mean if you need an hour's

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Speaker 4: time to do something around the house or like yeah,

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Speaker 4: meeting or whatever. It is like it works like there's that.

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Speaker 4: But then, like anything, it can be abused. It can

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Speaker 4: be detrimental, it can be used too much. It's disconnecting.

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Speaker 4: You know, we hate it when Tag is on it

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Speaker 4: because he's so disconnected from us. It's like anything, it

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Speaker 4: has its good and it's bad. I'm a little bit

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Speaker 4: on the camp of kids need to learn how to

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Speaker 4: use these things and be very proficient at it these days.

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Speaker 4: So Taj has a passion for it, it's going to

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Speaker 4: serve him.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's quite creative on there.

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Speaker 4: But how you integrate it and keep the boundaries.

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Speaker 1: It's a such a dance.

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Speaker 4: It's a dance, and I think it's important, but it's

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Speaker 4: also got to be regulated.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I've been quite strict on it.

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Speaker 1: I agree.

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Speaker 2: I think you were more flexible in it than what

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Speaker 2: I was. But then it just started to get too much.

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Speaker 2: So now we've got like strict boundaries on when he

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Speaker 2: can have it and when he can't have.

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Speaker 4: It, because sometimes you just finish work and you just

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Speaker 4: want to have some time to yourself. You have about

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Speaker 4: and you come home and kids are just they're so energetic,

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Speaker 4: they just want It's a tough dance between all of it.

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Speaker 2: And sometimes it's nice even at night. We'll put on

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Speaker 2: like funny animals on YouTube and like it's good for

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Speaker 2: us to relax, but we're all enjoying something.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like, you know, limited time to have sex.

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Speaker 4: There's been a time where we're on the weekend, use

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Speaker 4: it twenty minutes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so true.

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Speaker 1: Without little knocks at the door, What are you I doing?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

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Speaker 4: That is big the risk.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, how frequent are the interruptions at the moment though,

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Speaker 2: between both kids, it's wild, Like us, he's.

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Speaker 1: So nosy, he knows what's going on.

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Speaker 2: Yeah he does. And then Tyler would just randomly like

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Speaker 2: cry or just like I can hear noise at the

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Speaker 2: door and she's just standing there hovering. I'm like, are

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Speaker 2: you okay? Bage He's like, okay, I just want another cuddle.

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Speaker 1: I'm okay, You're like no right now, no right now,

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Speaker 1: and daddy need five.

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Speaker 2: Or ten or twenty would be great.

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Speaker 1: Two, Oh my goodness, so funny.

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Speaker 2: Let's talk about when we go into teenagers, back to

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Speaker 2: what we were saying about how they're going to feel

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Speaker 2: safe to you.

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Speaker 1: How do you think you will manage we will manage.

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Speaker 2: Drugs and alcohol? Like when will that conversation come into

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Speaker 2: play if they want to try it? What will you

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Speaker 2: be encouraging saying?

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Speaker 1: Allowing?

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Speaker 4: It's going to be very hard to not be a

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Speaker 4: hypocrite because I did it all when I was a teenager, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: and had a very awesome experience, Like I don't like

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Speaker 4: you had fun fun, you know, like I had a

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Speaker 4: great So I believe teenagers are going to do in

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Speaker 4: my own experience, You're going to do what they want

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Speaker 4: to do, regardless of you'd like them to come to

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Speaker 4: you for everything. But if you're strict that, they're going

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Speaker 4: to find other ways. I know that's how I was.

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Speaker 4: I always found a way to do it, whether it

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Speaker 4: was behind my parents back totally. Then there was the

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Speaker 4: other parents who embraced it, and you always over their house.

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Speaker 4: They were open with it, and I always sort of

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Speaker 4: looked at those parents with admiration because I felt more

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Speaker 4: connected with I felt disconnected with mine. So I'd hope

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Speaker 4: that they would feel safe, that their.

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Speaker 1: Friends could come, Yeah, to be like a safe place,

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Speaker 1: the safe place.

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Speaker 4: But I do think our kids will probably not be

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Speaker 4: drawn to alcohol or drugs. I just feel that their

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Speaker 4: upbringing is going to be that way. So if they

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Speaker 4: do do it, it's going to be experimental and not

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Speaker 4: a regular every weekend. But it's also about the group

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Speaker 4: as well. So yeah, my hope is where kids are

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Speaker 4: going to be strong enough to in their own cells

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Speaker 4: to make their own decisions. But we all know what

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Speaker 4: that time's like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, son, influential time.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. I just wanted to be safe too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I found for me, sport is what really kept me

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Speaker 2: on the straight and narrow. I was the only person

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Speaker 2: in my friendship group that dance, played netball, detached. I

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Speaker 2: was really sporting because all my friends were going to

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Speaker 2: like doofs and taking drugs and just hegged it weekends

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Speaker 2: and come back on Monday and I'd played netball and

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Speaker 2: I'd worked at the fish and chip shop. We had

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Speaker 2: just had different lives. But if I didn't have my sport,

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Speaker 2: I think it would have been so easy just to

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Speaker 2: fit want to fit in and be around because I

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Speaker 2: don't want to be a home either.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so our kids will we hope or just yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean Tag loves footy now he loves footy. Oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh.

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Speaker 2: We all live for it.

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Speaker 3: Like Tyler will be like that. She's very energetic and

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Speaker 3: she's got a big personality. So I think anything to

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Speaker 3: do with groups, yeah, I think she'll be drawn too,

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Speaker 3: because it's the community aspect.

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Speaker 1: It's also love.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she loves to dance. Taj is quite a rule

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Speaker 2: follower as well. He doesn't like stretching outside the rules,

361
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Speaker 2: the boundaries. He likes to be like a quote unquote

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Speaker 2: good boy, and we've had where he gets that from me.

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Speaker 2: Not so much these days, but we have also had

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Speaker 2: really open discussions with Taj already around alcohol. He knows

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Speaker 2: that we don't drink and drugs. We've explained that when

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Speaker 2: you do have the things that you can make really

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Speaker 2: silly decisions you can hurt people. We've even watched like

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Speaker 2: Little Doccos where you know, method ICs are on the

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Speaker 2: street and like they're acting crazy and he's like, WHOA,

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Speaker 2: why they do that? And we talk about that like,

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Speaker 2: this is why we don't touch it. You don't know

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Speaker 2: what's in the druction and how what he's going to respond.

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Speaker 2: And I wonder if you hurt someone. And he's quite

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Speaker 2: emotionally intelligent, I think it's just felt natural to talk

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Speaker 2: about it with him.

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Speaker 4: You just can't discount what his peer group's going to be. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: in high school, that's the biggest coming it is, well,

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Speaker 4: not the biggest.

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Speaker 1: That's a big influence.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, big influence.

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Speaker 2: I think Tyler's going to want to break the RULESO.

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Speaker 2: That seems after a valius like fu, this is my world,

383
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Speaker 2: you're living in it.

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Speaker 1: You know what?

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Speaker 3: As well though, I think as well peer pressure is

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Speaker 3: a big thing. But also the way that you guys parent.

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Speaker 3: I feel like you teach and you allow them to

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Speaker 3: make their own decision. It's like you give them all

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Speaker 3: the options and go like, hey, like this is what

390
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Speaker 3: will happen and these are the consequences. So I feel

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Speaker 3: like you give them the opportunity to make the decision

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Speaker 3: for themselves. But because Taje already is so emotionally intelligent,

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Speaker 3: I feel like he's got a good foundation of being

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Speaker 3: able to have that internal discernment system.

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Speaker 4: Have you ever tried it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, what's their experience? What tried? You're gonna be like,

397
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Speaker 1: what haven't I tried? Some how many hours? Have you

398
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Speaker 1: got a lot.

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Speaker 4: Of what I'd love to take to an iowasco.

400
00:16:16,241 --> 00:16:18,401
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Yeah that would be insane. I really

401
00:16:18,721 --> 00:16:20,121
Speaker 1: age like fifteen or something.

402
00:16:21,201 --> 00:16:24,161
Speaker 4: I don't put an age to time on it. When

403
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Speaker 4: he's old enough. There'll be a time when I think

404
00:16:26,001 --> 00:16:30,121
Speaker 4: he's old enough. But yeah, I really feel that's something

405
00:16:30,121 --> 00:16:30,761
Speaker 4: i'd love to try with.

406
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Speaker 3: Yeah, that'd be also, that'd be such an eye opening

407
00:16:33,761 --> 00:16:37,041
Speaker 3: experience even for him to have that level of awareness

408
00:16:37,081 --> 00:16:40,081
Speaker 3: and knowledge and internalize knowledge from such a young age

409
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Speaker 3: and even so pivotal for him.

410
00:16:41,721 --> 00:16:43,321
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's had a good childhood, but we all know

411
00:16:43,321 --> 00:16:46,481
Speaker 2: everyone has trauma, which is micro moments you've been missed

412
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Speaker 2: or stressing the body whatever. To be able to clear

413
00:16:48,921 --> 00:16:50,881
Speaker 2: and move through that from such a young age, like

414
00:16:50,921 --> 00:16:53,121
Speaker 2: you're setting him up like tenfold, and.

415
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Speaker 1: Things that he'll experience from external as well.

416
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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, friendship breakdowns or relationship breakdowns, experiences with teachers, schools, bullies,

417
00:16:59,841 --> 00:17:01,961
Speaker 3: all that sort of stuff. It's like all of that too.

418
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Speaker 3: Do you have any advice for any single women who

419
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Speaker 3: so maybe looking for the men of their dreams, are

420
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Speaker 3: looking for a person to create a life with and

421
00:17:09,001 --> 00:17:12,640
Speaker 3: to find a partner in. Is there any traits or

422
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Speaker 3: characteristics that you suggest that they might.

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Speaker 1: Lord are the green flags and red flags? No, lot

424
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Speaker 1: of the green and red flags.

425
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Speaker 4: I'm quite traditional in old fashioned in that way, Like

426
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Speaker 4: I feel like a woman should be chased, not the

427
00:17:25,561 --> 00:17:28,761
Speaker 4: other way around. And I feel I do believe in

428
00:17:29,201 --> 00:17:31,760
Speaker 4: you attract what you are. So if you're wanting to

429
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Speaker 4: be there's a particular person in life that you're trying

430
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Speaker 4: you want, you need to become that person and then

431
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:42,160
Speaker 4: naturally that will come over and not chasing more attracting.

432
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Speaker 4: I definitely believe in not having sex on the first date.

433
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Speaker 4: Like I feel like men are so drawn to the chase,

434
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Speaker 4: and it's such a big thing in connection in initially,

435
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,840
Speaker 4: like you should hold out as long as you can,

436
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:58,000
Speaker 4: and that's from experience.

437
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,840
Speaker 2: Like to get them to know who you are, just

438
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Speaker 2: to get.

439
00:18:00,241 --> 00:18:03,481
Speaker 4: That attraction and drawn and you learn so much about

440
00:18:03,521 --> 00:18:06,521
Speaker 4: a person in that first first energy exchange, you know,

441
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:10,241
Speaker 4: and it's drawing that out as long as possible if

442
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Speaker 4: that person's right. Like also like obviously that's probably something

443
00:18:15,201 --> 00:18:21,480
Speaker 4: you've been through lately, you know, like your checklist, you know,

444
00:18:21,761 --> 00:18:25,720
Speaker 4: take your time because people's masks are so strong like

445
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:28,680
Speaker 4: these days, you know, like you can hold out a

446
00:18:28,721 --> 00:18:33,761
Speaker 4: facade for ages before the real mask comes off. So

447
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,160
Speaker 4: don't rush it and make sure you go through the dating,

448
00:18:36,441 --> 00:18:38,840
Speaker 4: you know, wait so that they just show their true self.

449
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,120
Speaker 4: And then it's the same with you though, Like you've

450
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,721
Speaker 4: got to be authentic in your own you know, put

451
00:18:44,761 --> 00:18:47,681
Speaker 4: your own facade on. But I think you're also got

452
00:18:47,681 --> 00:18:51,321
Speaker 4: to be ready to give love, not just there to

453
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:55,001
Speaker 4: get love. Like those people have jumped from relationship relationship

454
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:58,041
Speaker 4: because they need it, because they feel empty and they're

455
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:01,600
Speaker 4: craving love, which is so valid. But until you're in

456
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,921
Speaker 4: a position where I'm full and I'm ready to over

457
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,321
Speaker 4: flow and that person's full, and really know, if that's.

458
00:19:07,201 --> 00:19:08,761
Speaker 1: All, that's imagic, it's so beautiful.

459
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:12,200
Speaker 4: Whereas the other sis, I need love, I'm empty, I

460
00:19:12,241 --> 00:19:14,201
Speaker 4: need to get it. You're looking for someone to fill

461
00:19:14,201 --> 00:19:18,041
Speaker 4: you up. That energy exchange is conditional. You can see

462
00:19:18,041 --> 00:19:20,440
Speaker 4: how that dynamic is not healthy.

463
00:19:20,801 --> 00:19:22,960
Speaker 3: No, it's a huge distinction to make though what you

464
00:19:23,041 --> 00:19:24,920
Speaker 3: just said, not just being willing to get love, but

465
00:19:24,961 --> 00:19:27,360
Speaker 3: to be willing to give love, because it's when is

466
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:30,080
Speaker 3: that conversation ever really hard? It's I want to be

467
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:31,600
Speaker 3: with this person because it makes me feel good or

468
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,000
Speaker 3: they give me validation. It feels nice to have their attention,

469
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:35,921
Speaker 3: But how much are you willing to pour back into

470
00:19:35,921 --> 00:19:36,481
Speaker 3: that other person?

471
00:19:36,521 --> 00:19:37,400
Speaker 1: I think that's amazing.

472
00:19:37,481 --> 00:19:38,681
Speaker 4: And when we have both doing.

473
00:19:38,521 --> 00:19:42,080
Speaker 3: It, yeah, then it's overflowed together. And if there were

474
00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:44,640
Speaker 3: any like you know, you mentioned about holding out until

475
00:19:44,761 --> 00:19:46,400
Speaker 3: having sex before you can get to know them and

476
00:19:46,441 --> 00:19:48,201
Speaker 3: know who they are and make sure you're certain about

477
00:19:48,241 --> 00:19:50,201
Speaker 3: that person, what would you say to the woman who's

478
00:19:50,241 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 3: feeling a little bit of pressure from that man, not

479
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,081
Speaker 3: forceful pressure, but like a little bit of making murder.

480
00:19:55,241 --> 00:19:57,281
Speaker 1: Sure it said, I love it.

481
00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:00,440
Speaker 4: It's your power and it's sacred, bit old fashion in that.

482
00:20:00,761 --> 00:20:03,680
Speaker 4: I just feel like that energy exchange is really important.

483
00:20:03,921 --> 00:20:07,400
Speaker 4: It's important in the first bit to really establish the

484
00:20:07,521 --> 00:20:10,440
Speaker 4: connection because some men won't put the effort in.

485
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:12,481
Speaker 1: That's a red flag.

486
00:20:12,321 --> 00:20:14,961
Speaker 4: And that's a red flag in itself. And I'm all

487
00:20:15,001 --> 00:20:18,241
Speaker 4: for having sex and having fun and all that sort

488
00:20:18,281 --> 00:20:20,521
Speaker 4: of stuff, Like if you're not looking for that person,

489
00:20:20,561 --> 00:20:22,481
Speaker 4: then but I know from a man's point of view,

490
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:25,041
Speaker 4: like I'm so much more drawn in the chase, and

491
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,801
Speaker 4: once you've had sex there is a different shift.

492
00:20:29,001 --> 00:20:31,360
Speaker 3: So it's like that emotional connection is super important for

493
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,160
Speaker 3: that point because then when that sexual lust or that

494
00:20:34,201 --> 00:20:35,880
Speaker 3: moment is kind of over, it's like you've got that

495
00:20:35,921 --> 00:20:40,321
Speaker 3: emotional foundation. Yeah, so much, rather than not having built

496
00:20:40,321 --> 00:20:42,640
Speaker 3: that emotional connection and then it losing and then not

497
00:20:42,681 --> 00:20:43,401
Speaker 3: having that as well.

498
00:20:43,521 --> 00:20:46,521
Speaker 4: It's like, oh well, that's it pulled all your cards

499
00:20:46,521 --> 00:20:50,120
Speaker 4: out at once, and it's just drawing it out and making.

500
00:20:49,961 --> 00:20:50,961
Speaker 2: It building a foundation.

501
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:55,120
Speaker 1: Really, I think the slow burn is so important.

502
00:20:54,801 --> 00:20:58,441
Speaker 4: And it's so exciting, enjoyable. Get it back the second time.

503
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:02,561
Speaker 4: You only get one. I'm at it.

504
00:21:01,441 --> 00:21:06,200
Speaker 1: One chance when opportuited, make a man it, ladies, you

505
00:21:06,281 --> 00:21:07,001
Speaker 1: heard the man.

506
00:21:07,201 --> 00:21:09,561
Speaker 2: So when Tyler comes to you at eighteen, she's like

507
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:11,281
Speaker 2: ready to get a boyfriend, and she's like, Dad, what

508
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:11,880
Speaker 2: kind of man.

509
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,880
Speaker 4: Doing your dreaming? Dad?

510
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:16,681
Speaker 2: What kind of like man should I look for?

511
00:21:16,801 --> 00:21:16,880
Speaker 3: Like?

512
00:21:17,001 --> 00:21:17,721
Speaker 2: Help me out here?

513
00:21:18,241 --> 00:21:20,321
Speaker 4: Personally, I don't think she'd be asking a father for that,

514
00:21:20,481 --> 00:21:22,961
Speaker 4: but I'd like to think she's going to model nice.

515
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:24,041
Speaker 1: Yeah.

516
00:21:24,321 --> 00:21:25,801
Speaker 4: I think that's how it works, isn't it.

517
00:21:25,961 --> 00:21:27,680
Speaker 3: You can speak from you, yeah, one hundred percent. Like

518
00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:29,680
Speaker 3: even from my dad. There are definitely traits in my

519
00:21:29,761 --> 00:21:31,241
Speaker 3: dad where I'm like, I need a man.

520
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:32,840
Speaker 4: Like this, my dad's standards.

521
00:21:32,961 --> 00:21:35,680
Speaker 3: It's not necessarily conversation you have. It really is just

522
00:21:35,761 --> 00:21:38,120
Speaker 3: you look, you observe, you see the traits in them.

523
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:39,880
Speaker 3: Like my dad still sends me good morning messages and

524
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:41,361
Speaker 3: I'm a grown ass woman, you know what I mean,

525
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,761
Speaker 3: you know, And it's so beautiful, And it's like that consideration,

526
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:49,321
Speaker 3: the care is caretaking, his providing ed his big dream

527
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:52,360
Speaker 3: of mindset and backed by action. He always follows through

528
00:21:52,441 --> 00:21:54,521
Speaker 3: and like can create and if he puts his mind

529
00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:55,440
Speaker 3: to anything, he does it.

530
00:21:55,681 --> 00:21:57,640
Speaker 4: So if you always draw on to that sort of man.

531
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,761
Speaker 3: When I don't have it, I really notice it. When

532
00:21:59,761 --> 00:22:01,400
Speaker 3: I don't have it, I feel like there's something missing.

533
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,920
Speaker 4: So where does the bad boy fit into this? Like

534
00:22:04,001 --> 00:22:05,880
Speaker 4: where does the poor women? Yeah, Like you know how

535
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:07,440
Speaker 4: women always drawn to bad boys.

536
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,041
Speaker 3: I would say I've been drawn to the quotations bad

537
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,281
Speaker 3: boys when I've been in my ego and I haven't

538
00:22:12,281 --> 00:22:15,240
Speaker 3: been a more healed, softer version of myself because then

539
00:22:15,321 --> 00:22:17,721
Speaker 3: I was wounded, So I was attracting wounded men.

540
00:22:18,001 --> 00:22:19,881
Speaker 4: Was it more of just a sexual energy thing.

541
00:22:20,321 --> 00:22:23,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, feeling on edge, feeling naughty. Oh, I shouldn't do this,

542
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,241
Speaker 3: but I kind of want to, and I kind of

543
00:22:25,281 --> 00:22:27,401
Speaker 3: want to explore that. But again, I feel like that's

544
00:22:27,441 --> 00:22:30,801
Speaker 3: a really unconscious way to explore that need to live

545
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 3: life on the edge and be a rebel, Whereas like

546
00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:35,561
Speaker 3: you can find that in other ways and do it

547
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,880
Speaker 3: intentionally instead of attracting men who then impact you in

548
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:39,521
Speaker 3: a negative way.

549
00:22:39,681 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 4: Makes sense.

550
00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:41,680
Speaker 2: I was scared of the bad boy. I always went

551
00:22:41,721 --> 00:22:42,921
Speaker 2: for like the nice country boy.

552
00:22:43,561 --> 00:22:47,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, but that's your father model was bad. Do you

553
00:22:47,241 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 4: either go I want an opposite. I want everything that

554
00:22:49,961 --> 00:22:52,360
Speaker 4: a model or everything opposite.

555
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:52,801
Speaker 2: Yeah.

556
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,640
Speaker 4: I think I was upset you went opposite, right, Yeah.

557
00:22:55,441 --> 00:22:57,001
Speaker 2: Like even with you, It's like I wanted someone that

558
00:22:57,041 --> 00:22:59,961
Speaker 2: doesn't yell at me, isn't aggressive, it's calm.

559
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:04,880
Speaker 1: I got like a big tape compared to that. Yeah.

560
00:23:04,441 --> 00:23:07,321
Speaker 3: And the times where I were attracted to the more

561
00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 3: bad boy, it was when I was in a rebellion stage,

562
00:23:10,001 --> 00:23:12,440
Speaker 3: not against my parents but against my self and life,

563
00:23:12,521 --> 00:23:14,400
Speaker 3: and I wanted to rebel and I felt like I

564
00:23:14,481 --> 00:23:16,761
Speaker 3: was pushing back and all of these different things. But

565
00:23:16,801 --> 00:23:19,761
Speaker 3: when I kind of worked on myself and learned to

566
00:23:19,801 --> 00:23:22,640
Speaker 3: love myself more than I was. Starting to attract the

567
00:23:22,721 --> 00:23:25,081
Speaker 3: nice man, the kind one, the one who genuinely cared

568
00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:27,680
Speaker 3: about me as opposed to having a trophy on there

569
00:23:27,721 --> 00:23:30,400
Speaker 3: are you know someone pretty to look at or you

570
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:31,200
Speaker 3: know anything like that?

571
00:23:31,441 --> 00:23:33,641
Speaker 4: So who's your perfect guy? If you were to, let's

572
00:23:33,681 --> 00:23:34,241
Speaker 4: your checklist?

573
00:23:34,921 --> 00:23:36,241
Speaker 1: Notice who does this in the interviews? It puts the

574
00:23:36,321 --> 00:23:36,720
Speaker 1: questions back.

575
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:43,281
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, I question, I've had enough, Okay, I'm done,

576
00:23:43,281 --> 00:23:46,481
Speaker 3: and tapped out what's my checklist? The first thing is respect,

577
00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:51,041
Speaker 3: so respect and also still being able to communicate kindly

578
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:51,840
Speaker 3: even if they're mad.

579
00:23:52,041 --> 00:23:54,161
Speaker 4: The reason I asked that is because was that your dad?

580
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:59,001
Speaker 1: Yeah? Respectful? Like I never witnessed my parents fight growing up.

581
00:23:59,321 --> 00:24:01,841
Speaker 4: You don't really need to tell your daughter or it's

582
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 4: in your action. Yeah, it's in how you show up.

583
00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:07,440
Speaker 4: They're gonna years of evidence of how they do or

584
00:24:07,521 --> 00:24:10,401
Speaker 4: don't want to be. That's all. That's the scariest thing

585
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:10,801
Speaker 4: as a parent.

586
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:12,001
Speaker 1: It's a lot of responsibility.

587
00:24:12,041 --> 00:24:14,441
Speaker 4: It's the things unconsciously that you're doing good and bad,

588
00:24:14,521 --> 00:24:17,281
Speaker 4: like also the bad like I know our bad traits

589
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,041
Speaker 4: and you know your kids are just modeling those bad traits.

590
00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:22,481
Speaker 1: Yeah, little sponges, little sponges.

591
00:24:22,561 --> 00:24:25,481
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, but yeah, hopefully we can show.

592
00:24:25,441 --> 00:24:27,521
Speaker 1: Consistent, beautiful relationship.

593
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:29,480
Speaker 4: Even in our fights, like a conscious thing is like

594
00:24:29,961 --> 00:24:31,920
Speaker 4: showing them how to fight too.

595
00:24:31,921 --> 00:24:33,041
Speaker 2: And how to repair and.

596
00:24:32,921 --> 00:24:35,761
Speaker 4: How to repair like not just it is, yeah.

597
00:24:35,481 --> 00:24:37,081
Speaker 2: To apologize in front of each other, to.

598
00:24:37,041 --> 00:24:37,801
Speaker 1: Own your part.

599
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:38,440
Speaker 4: Sorry.

600
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, even little things like we always say, like I

601
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,080
Speaker 2: know for me, I always say, like I didn't breathe,

602
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:44,841
Speaker 2: then I should have taken more breaths. If I get

603
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,521
Speaker 2: like with my patience with him or with Steve, I

604
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:48,120
Speaker 2: like say that I need to take more breaths, I

605
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,440
Speaker 2: need to take some time. And that's on me, that

606
00:24:50,521 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 2: wasn't on you, like just to own it.

607
00:24:52,481 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's so beautiful for them to see that

608
00:24:54,801 --> 00:24:55,201
Speaker 1: so young.

609
00:24:55,281 --> 00:24:56,880
Speaker 2: You want that to be their normal to say sorry,

610
00:24:56,961 --> 00:24:58,841
Speaker 2: to own their stuff, not for it to be uncomfortable,

611
00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 2: because I know for me growing up was I never

612
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:02,920
Speaker 2: saw that. So as an adult saying sorry, it was

613
00:25:02,961 --> 00:25:03,801
Speaker 2: quite uncomfortable.

614
00:25:03,921 --> 00:25:06,921
Speaker 4: I remember that time and it was Hawaii with Robins

615
00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:09,361
Speaker 4: and he got us up on the stage in front

616
00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:12,281
Speaker 4: of everyone. About the person you become loved from the most,

617
00:25:12,561 --> 00:25:14,880
Speaker 4: I'll deal it with you. So who was the person

618
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,880
Speaker 4: who you crave love from the most? Your mom or

619
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:18,201
Speaker 4: your dad?

620
00:25:18,241 --> 00:25:18,521
Speaker 1: My mom?

621
00:25:18,801 --> 00:25:21,561
Speaker 4: Yeah? Who did you have to be to get the

622
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:22,521
Speaker 4: love from your mom?

623
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:23,440
Speaker 1: Agreeable?

624
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 4: Agreeable? What else?

625
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:25,681
Speaker 1: A good girl?

626
00:25:25,761 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 3: Like? So I'm told, was you told don't push back,

627
00:25:28,721 --> 00:25:30,561
Speaker 3: don't be opinionated?

628
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:30,840
Speaker 1: Yeah?

629
00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:33,200
Speaker 4: And would you say you became that person?

630
00:25:34,201 --> 00:25:36,001
Speaker 1: I've been unlearning it for the last ten years.

631
00:25:36,481 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 4: Yeah. So that was a big one for us because

632
00:25:39,321 --> 00:25:42,521
Speaker 4: we actually lost our father's. Well you never had a father.

633
00:25:43,041 --> 00:25:44,841
Speaker 4: I lost my father when I was really young. So

634
00:25:45,041 --> 00:25:46,201
Speaker 4: we were confused by that question.

635
00:25:46,241 --> 00:25:47,680
Speaker 2: We had to put our hands up with Tony and

636
00:25:47,681 --> 00:25:49,281
Speaker 2: we said, like, we think we crave our dad, but

637
00:25:49,321 --> 00:25:50,920
Speaker 2: I don't have a dad's I don't know. And then

638
00:25:50,961 --> 00:25:52,600
Speaker 2: it was do you think your dad would want you

639
00:25:52,681 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 2: to be?

640
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,400
Speaker 4: Yep, So I got to make up my own story

641
00:25:56,441 --> 00:25:58,360
Speaker 4: of what her dad should be. So I got to

642
00:25:58,441 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 4: be I think dad should be this, I should that.

643
00:26:00,921 --> 00:26:03,120
Speaker 4: So it became that person. So it was really cool.

644
00:26:03,281 --> 00:26:03,880
Speaker 1: That is cool.

645
00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:08,121
Speaker 4: Yeah, but such a strong thing that shapes who you are. Yeah,

646
00:26:08,441 --> 00:26:10,321
Speaker 4: you crave love from the most, and it's usually the

647
00:26:10,321 --> 00:26:11,441
Speaker 4: one that didn't give it to you.

648
00:26:11,721 --> 00:26:14,400
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, so true Hey, it's the big one. It's

649
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:15,281
Speaker 1: a good exercise.

650
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,400
Speaker 2: Last one On Instagram, I put up a little Q

651
00:26:17,481 --> 00:26:18,681
Speaker 2: and A, So I'm going to give you some hot

652
00:26:18,681 --> 00:26:20,961
Speaker 2: seat questions, Baby, are you ready?

653
00:26:21,281 --> 00:26:26,360
Speaker 1: Not really, he's a rogue. Did you make love after

654
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 1: the dance class? I got?

655
00:26:28,721 --> 00:26:29,481
Speaker 4: I'm sure we did.

656
00:26:29,561 --> 00:26:32,201
Speaker 1: We did damn straight wrong.

657
00:26:32,321 --> 00:26:32,641
Speaker 3: Not to.

658
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:36,481
Speaker 2: Do you prefer me blonde or brunette?

659
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:37,801
Speaker 4: For this season? Brunette?

660
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,561
Speaker 1: This season brunette? How did you know Asha was the one?

661
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,041
Speaker 1: You guys are so cute with my bullshit?

662
00:26:44,281 --> 00:26:46,721
Speaker 4: I know, I don't know. It's just a feeling, isn't

663
00:26:46,721 --> 00:26:49,200
Speaker 4: it a feeling? Yeah? Just I don't think you really know.

664
00:26:49,241 --> 00:26:51,681
Speaker 2: At the start, I disagree with Steve and I were

665
00:26:51,681 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 2: talking online. Guy, Yeah I was talking to a car

666
00:26:55,441 --> 00:26:57,360
Speaker 2: guys and no offense, But you were the most.

667
00:26:57,281 --> 00:26:58,001
Speaker 1: Boring on the phone.

668
00:26:58,080 --> 00:26:58,681
Speaker 4: I still am.

669
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,400
Speaker 2: But I went on dates with the other men, and

670
00:27:02,441 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 2: then Steve was the last one to go on a

671
00:27:03,961 --> 00:27:05,601
Speaker 2: date with this open period of time.

672
00:27:05,681 --> 00:27:07,120
Speaker 1: Just want from eggs in one basket, you know?

673
00:27:07,681 --> 00:27:14,241
Speaker 2: Anyways, player, when I met Steve, it was an instant.

674
00:27:14,321 --> 00:27:16,561
Speaker 2: This feels like home. It was an instant. I'm not

675
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,121
Speaker 2: leaving this is it? The other one's got cut off.

676
00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:19,680
Speaker 2: I just knew.

677
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,321
Speaker 1: I can't explain it. I just had this inner knowing. Yeah.

678
00:27:22,321 --> 00:27:23,881
Speaker 2: It doesn't mean that hasn't been doubts along the way,

679
00:27:23,921 --> 00:27:25,920
Speaker 2: but I knew from the start, like this is my person.

680
00:27:25,961 --> 00:27:28,681
Speaker 4: Yeahful, Yeah, so I woman's intuition.

681
00:27:29,041 --> 00:27:32,201
Speaker 1: Yeah right, totally some advice for your younger self.

682
00:27:32,801 --> 00:27:38,841
Speaker 4: Jeez, poor little Steve, he was so lost. You got this,

683
00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:39,761
Speaker 4: I think?

684
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,041
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that got there's some row things in here.

685
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:45,680
Speaker 1: What are some non sexual things that actually does that

686
00:27:45,761 --> 00:27:46,321
Speaker 1: turns you on?

687
00:27:46,721 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 4: Just meant she's a mum and just being such an

688
00:27:48,921 --> 00:27:53,601
Speaker 4: awesome mother. I love that. Just watching her in a

689
00:27:53,721 --> 00:27:56,761
Speaker 4: passion and purpose. That's pretty cool. When you used to

690
00:27:56,840 --> 00:28:00,400
Speaker 4: walk down the booty tours and those, Yeah, that's cool.

691
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:05,641
Speaker 1: Yeah. Did you get aroused by the dance? I've been here?

692
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:10,881
Speaker 1: Another question is was it awkward being around the other

693
00:28:10,921 --> 00:28:11,601
Speaker 1: guys that were there?

694
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:15,241
Speaker 4: Being aroused to a ton of vision? Blind in my

695
00:28:15,321 --> 00:28:18,641
Speaker 4: left eye actually sat me in the back right corner too,

696
00:28:18,761 --> 00:28:19,841
Speaker 4: So it.

697
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 1: Was all intentional.

698
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:23,681
Speaker 3: It was all of like somebody wrote, is he ready

699
00:28:23,681 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 3: for another dance from you?

700
00:28:24,801 --> 00:28:26,161
Speaker 1: Or maybe he can dance for you?

701
00:28:26,521 --> 00:28:28,081
Speaker 4: I've received many since.

702
00:28:28,360 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 1: Did you ever flipped on his head. Are you going

703
00:28:29,681 --> 00:28:33,561
Speaker 1: to dance for? Actually? Hope this is for both of you.

704
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 2: What was one piece of relationship advice you wish someone

705
00:28:36,120 --> 00:28:38,961
Speaker 2: gave you sooner? Might be to like seek out help

706
00:28:39,041 --> 00:28:42,361
Speaker 2: and have a coach sooner, someone to like just help mediate,

707
00:28:42,481 --> 00:28:44,921
Speaker 2: someone to help keep growing you together as a couple.

708
00:28:45,401 --> 00:28:48,801
Speaker 2: How do you stay or reconnect after having babies?

709
00:28:49,401 --> 00:28:58,241
Speaker 4: Time, purposeful planning of intimacy, planning, holidays.

710
00:28:57,441 --> 00:29:00,361
Speaker 2: Date nights, and it's even like they're the big things.

711
00:29:00,401 --> 00:29:02,761
Speaker 2: I think we've been really intentional since Tarlt. It's like

712
00:29:02,801 --> 00:29:04,841
Speaker 2: the micro moments, so like when we're in the kitchen

713
00:29:05,161 --> 00:29:06,681
Speaker 2: of Steff on the bench and right my legs around

714
00:29:06,681 --> 00:29:08,921
Speaker 2: and have a big cuddle and just find you're coming

715
00:29:08,961 --> 00:29:10,641
Speaker 2: down to the office and you know, just checking in

716
00:29:10,641 --> 00:29:12,361
Speaker 2: and give me a kiss and cuddle. Like it's finding

717
00:29:12,481 --> 00:29:14,961
Speaker 2: little moments that throughout the day and the weeks and

718
00:29:15,001 --> 00:29:16,761
Speaker 2: the years, it really adds up and contribute.

719
00:29:16,801 --> 00:29:18,801
Speaker 1: Can you guys tell everyone about your rule when you leave.

720
00:29:18,641 --> 00:29:20,161
Speaker 2: The office anyway?

721
00:29:20,321 --> 00:29:20,961
Speaker 1: What's the rule?

722
00:29:21,241 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 2: Cannot leave it out giving me a kiss. We've had

723
00:29:24,321 --> 00:29:26,720
Speaker 2: that rule since we got together. It's dimmed from a

724
00:29:26,761 --> 00:29:29,401
Speaker 2: conversation years and years ago. Of like if something was

725
00:29:29,401 --> 00:29:31,281
Speaker 2: to happen to the other person and you've left and

726
00:29:31,281 --> 00:29:33,841
Speaker 2: there's bad energy or a fight, it just breaks anything.

727
00:29:33,841 --> 00:29:35,321
Speaker 2: You just like you know, you're still solid.

728
00:29:36,481 --> 00:29:38,201
Speaker 4: Yeah, the person's got to leave and you've got to.

729
00:29:38,201 --> 00:29:40,681
Speaker 2: Like not It's like a quick peck on the cheek.

730
00:29:40,681 --> 00:29:41,720
Speaker 1: It's not like a man out.

731
00:29:43,321 --> 00:29:45,241
Speaker 2: Once again. It's a state changer. It just like brings

732
00:29:45,321 --> 00:29:47,281
Speaker 2: us back together and reminds us that, like it's me

733
00:29:47,321 --> 00:29:48,881
Speaker 2: and you. You might be pissing me off, but I

734
00:29:48,881 --> 00:29:49,521
Speaker 2: still love you.

735
00:29:49,721 --> 00:29:51,841
Speaker 1: I think knows that. I witness you guys do really well.

736
00:29:51,841 --> 00:29:54,441
Speaker 3: As you guys have always prioritized date night, and that's

737
00:29:54,441 --> 00:29:56,841
Speaker 3: been something where you guys like noe, date night is

738
00:29:56,881 --> 00:29:58,720
Speaker 3: a stay case all of it.

739
00:29:58,761 --> 00:29:58,921
Speaker 1: You know.

740
00:29:58,961 --> 00:30:00,921
Speaker 3: It's like no, Thursday night is dinner night. Yeah, we're

741
00:30:00,961 --> 00:30:02,601
Speaker 3: going on a date and that's our time alone.

742
00:30:02,721 --> 00:30:03,921
Speaker 1: Yeah, got to keep dating.

743
00:30:03,961 --> 00:30:05,921
Speaker 2: And we take turns and plays. So one week he'll

744
00:30:05,961 --> 00:30:08,961
Speaker 2: plan something, the next week I do. But last year

745
00:30:09,121 --> 00:30:11,241
Speaker 2: we did this massive big goals thing on New Year's

746
00:30:11,241 --> 00:30:12,881
Speaker 2: Eve and we wrote all our goals and it was like,

747
00:30:12,881 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 2: gone more stay case and we didn't do it. So

748
00:30:14,521 --> 00:30:16,401
Speaker 2: this year we were like fuck that we're doing it.

749
00:30:16,401 --> 00:30:18,281
Speaker 2: We're going on stay CA's and we've gone on the

750
00:30:18,361 --> 00:30:20,521
Speaker 2: last three months, we've gone on one to Sydney, and

751
00:30:20,601 --> 00:30:23,801
Speaker 2: it's been so fun, so connecting, and it's.

752
00:30:24,161 --> 00:30:27,321
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it's it's not much see it as

753
00:30:27,361 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 3: a priority and you treat it as such. And I

754
00:30:29,241 --> 00:30:31,761
Speaker 3: think that's the most important lesson of this is that

755
00:30:32,281 --> 00:30:34,401
Speaker 3: you guys know that when you both pour into each

756
00:30:34,401 --> 00:30:36,401
Speaker 3: other and everything else is better after that.

757
00:30:36,481 --> 00:30:38,081
Speaker 2: And you know what, I think there's been through stages,

758
00:30:38,121 --> 00:30:40,321
Speaker 2: like seventeen years together. It's a long time where you

759
00:30:40,401 --> 00:30:43,401
Speaker 2: do feel like passing ships or you're just co parenting

760
00:30:43,441 --> 00:30:44,961
Speaker 2: in the same house and it feels shit.

761
00:30:45,041 --> 00:30:45,681
Speaker 1: That would be hard.

762
00:30:45,801 --> 00:30:48,121
Speaker 2: It's like, no, this is not us, and this doesn't

763
00:30:48,121 --> 00:30:52,441
Speaker 2: feel good. And for me personally, our relationship is my foundation.

764
00:30:52,841 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 2: If we're good and alive and connected and happy and

765
00:30:55,521 --> 00:30:58,321
Speaker 2: intimate all the things, I'm like a fucking fairy float.

766
00:30:58,961 --> 00:31:01,561
Speaker 2: I feel so feminine and alive and happy. I'm bouncing

767
00:31:01,601 --> 00:31:03,681
Speaker 2: off the walls like I've had ten copies. The moment

768
00:31:03,721 --> 00:31:05,761
Speaker 2: we're disconnected, can't fucking cope.

769
00:31:05,801 --> 00:31:07,241
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like batter around plugs and.

770
00:31:08,401 --> 00:31:11,841
Speaker 2: I can't do anything well. I'm on present I'm scattered, anxious,

771
00:31:11,881 --> 00:31:14,241
Speaker 2: I'm so plugged into you that it's just it's so

772
00:31:14,281 --> 00:31:17,161
Speaker 2: important to keep plugged in in a really beautiful way.

773
00:31:17,521 --> 00:31:20,241
Speaker 3: It makes everything good. Comes back to that repair thing. Hey,

774
00:31:20,321 --> 00:31:21,401
Speaker 3: how important repair?

775
00:31:21,441 --> 00:31:25,561
Speaker 4: Would Yes, the better your relationship, the quicker you can repair.

776
00:31:25,481 --> 00:31:29,041
Speaker 2: It's so true. Or the more regulated you are, the

777
00:31:29,121 --> 00:31:31,561
Speaker 2: faster you can repair. Like I know for myself, if

778
00:31:31,601 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 2: I am more regulated, I can come back so much

779
00:31:34,281 --> 00:31:36,681
Speaker 2: quicker and say, hey, I'm really sorry I said that,

780
00:31:36,801 --> 00:31:38,041
Speaker 2: or like I should have said it like this, or

781
00:31:38,081 --> 00:31:40,041
Speaker 2: what I meant was, or I shouldn't have assumed, and

782
00:31:40,441 --> 00:31:42,841
Speaker 2: you can just speak more respectfully and.

783
00:31:42,881 --> 00:31:46,881
Speaker 1: Kindly and openly. Yeah, what a journey. What a journey.

784
00:31:47,001 --> 00:31:48,681
Speaker 3: I feel like it's also you know, when you keep

785
00:31:48,721 --> 00:31:50,681
Speaker 3: growing it it feels like this is just the beginning too,

786
00:31:50,801 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 3: of like everything else that's going to come after this.

787
00:31:53,121 --> 00:31:56,721
Speaker 3: It's exciting your next one, I know, I know it's

788
00:31:56,721 --> 00:31:59,121
Speaker 3: going to be so interesting. You guys best friends, so

789
00:31:59,441 --> 00:32:02,641
Speaker 3: I know, I really there's no pressure, Steve, but yeah,

790
00:32:02,681 --> 00:32:03,041
Speaker 3: it's got.

791
00:32:03,001 --> 00:32:03,521
Speaker 1: To be approved.

792
00:32:03,521 --> 00:32:04,801
Speaker 2: And I hope you like football.

793
00:32:05,281 --> 00:32:08,041
Speaker 1: Yeah, honestly, got a fair few things.

794
00:32:08,201 --> 00:32:09,881
Speaker 2: We've already got all our trips planned that we're going

795
00:32:09,921 --> 00:32:14,521
Speaker 2: to do together us. You guys were sharing a room,

796
00:32:14,561 --> 00:32:19,641
Speaker 2: we'll be sharing. We've already spoken about it. Thank you

797
00:32:19,681 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 2: for joining us, really appreciate it having. Thank you for

798
00:32:22,241 --> 00:32:24,881
Speaker 2: your time, your energy, your wisdom, all of it. We

799
00:32:24,921 --> 00:32:27,881
Speaker 2: love you so much. It calls us.

800
00:32:27,961 --> 00:32:34,561
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's Pooky's Peaky Good you guys.

801
00:32:34,801 --> 00:32:35,681
Speaker 1: Bye,