WEBVTT - Debate Settled: Queer Dating is Better 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:03.160 Today we're recording on Gadigul country and. 0:00:03.080 --> 0:00:05.760 We'd like to pay our respects to the traditional custodians 0:00:05.760 --> 0:00:09.920 of the Gaticol people. I know you're going to dig this. 0:00:11.240 --> 0:00:16.439 It's like I've been given like an extra sprinkle of something. 0:00:16.560 --> 0:00:18.840 You've got layers, Yeah, I got layers. 0:00:19.000 --> 0:00:22.720 I was just thinking, I'm like, we're just such beautiful storytellers. 0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:26.680 You're making a lot of sense to that girl. No, 0:00:27.160 --> 0:00:27.640 I'm done. 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:29.560 I've been too honest to God. 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:35.159 All right. Comparison is the thief for joy? Will you 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:35.680 go for for me? 0:00:36.840 --> 0:00:39.199 So I was watching this video the other day, by 0:00:39.240 --> 0:00:40.959 the way, Yeah it is. 0:00:41.040 --> 0:00:41.360 It is. 0:00:41.400 --> 0:00:42.880 Comparison is the thief for Joey. 0:00:43.000 --> 0:00:46.280 Comparison culture. I remember you said this, yep. 0:00:46.600 --> 0:00:50.800 But today we're going to do some comparisons because I 0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:53.440 feel like there was this video I was watching right 0:00:53.600 --> 0:00:56.200 about this girl and she's in a lesbian relationship. But 0:00:56.400 --> 0:01:00.960 she was saying, like, since dating her girlfriend, and she's 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:04.119 noticed all of these things in terms of the relationship 0:01:04.200 --> 0:01:07.559 that have like blown her mind. I guess in terms 0:01:07.600 --> 0:01:09.800 like haven't irked her? The opposite of earth? 0:01:09.880 --> 0:01:14.039 Okay, okay, And it. 0:01:14.000 --> 0:01:16.640 Was making me think about Yeah, I was like, oh, yeah, 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:20.399 I haven't had those experiences yet with Mia, but it 0:01:20.520 --> 0:01:24.080 makes sense. Like, so I was trying to like think 0:01:24.080 --> 0:01:30.480 about some what's the joy, Like what is the comparison 0:01:30.600 --> 0:01:32.920 to dating a man to a woman, and what are 0:01:32.920 --> 0:01:34.000 the things right? 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:36.120 And there's so many. 0:01:36.240 --> 0:01:38.200 I would love to hear from you. You have much 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:42.120 more experience on both sides. Yeah, dating men and women. 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:46.399 What is the number one difference that you see? 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:51.160 I would say like emotional intelligence is the key top one. 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:53.800 Like I can talk to Mia for hours and I 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:55.840 just have a feeling and I'm not like a knowing 0:01:55.920 --> 0:01:58.919 like she understands yea, where with a man, it honestly 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:00.320 feels like you're talking to a differ, like in a 0:02:00.320 --> 0:02:01.080 different language. 0:02:02.400 --> 0:02:09.600 Really you're literally like flab You're like what wow. 0:02:09.800 --> 0:02:12.240 It literally feels like when you're telling a guy to 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:15.720 do something or you're you're literally explaining something to them, 0:02:15.960 --> 0:02:18.800 they just can't process it in the way that a 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:19.440 woman can. 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:21.600 Okay, so that sometimes it's. 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:24.440 Not even like even words like I could give me 0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:27.000 a look and she'll like sometimes even just like no, 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:27.560 you know. 0:02:27.880 --> 0:02:28.880 Like it's crazy. 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:29.400 Wow. 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:31.400 That's probably the top one. 0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:34.560 The second one for me is like the level of 0:02:34.680 --> 0:02:42.200 like hygiene levels increase like dramatically, like they're so much better. 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:45.160 Like and I have lived with clean guys. 0:02:45.080 --> 0:02:49.160 And we're talking about heterosexuals here, yeah, heterosexual men. 0:02:49.040 --> 0:02:52.639 Because yeah, like yeah, but it's not like for gay men, Like. 0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:56.359 The hygiene is like top tier, Like hygiene is everything 0:02:56.400 --> 0:02:59.880 for us, Like we've got to be ready, girl, we 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:03.560 are ready dot com. 0:03:02.600 --> 0:03:05.519 And house ready or like all of the above. 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:09.000 Girl, the kitchen is clean, the oven is ready, and 0:03:09.040 --> 0:03:12.280 we are ready to cook. Trust me all the time. 0:03:13.120 --> 0:03:14.960 If you don't ready to be, you don't have to 0:03:14.960 --> 0:03:18.880 get ready if you stay ready. No, Look what I'm 0:03:18.919 --> 0:03:21.079 what I mean by that is that like gay men 0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:25.320 are different heterosexual men, I'm sure. Like I think my 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:28.120 partner has like a twenty five step skincare routine that 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:32.200 he does basically every day. He will get me to 0:03:32.240 --> 0:03:34.800 come in and wash his back for him, you know, 0:03:35.040 --> 0:03:36.720 like he's hygiene grub dub. 0:03:36.840 --> 0:03:37.120 Yeah. 0:03:37.200 --> 0:03:38.920 Yeah, love that. And this man. 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:41.760 Walks I think asked me to do that just yet. 0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:45.400 Well you'll get there probably, yeah, he's he'll walk around 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:48.960 the house naked and his body is clean. Girl, Like, 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:50.800 I think gay men are a different ball game. So 0:03:50.880 --> 0:03:53.560 let's talk about your experience with heterosexual men, and yeah, 0:03:53.640 --> 0:03:55.640 I can talk about gay men. 0:03:56.000 --> 0:03:58.280 I mean I think, like there's so many layers to it. 0:03:58.320 --> 0:04:00.800 But if we're gonna talk about hygiene specific like dating 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:04.320 a man to dating a woman, like like I think 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:07.880 the innately, like a woman cleans up after herself, a 0:04:07.920 --> 0:04:10.880 man will just like put something like down and just 0:04:10.920 --> 0:04:13.160 like forget about it and just it will stay there 0:04:13.400 --> 0:04:15.840 until he's rethought about it. Like but that will be 0:04:15.920 --> 0:04:18.000 like days later, all weeks later, do you know what 0:04:18.040 --> 0:04:20.560 I mean? Like with a woman, she's like, fuck, where 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:21.719 did I put that something? 0:04:22.000 --> 0:04:22.200 Oh? 0:04:22.240 --> 0:04:24.520 There it is, bang, And then she'll put it in 0:04:24.600 --> 0:04:26.320 the spot where it belongs. 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:27.600 Do you think all women are like that? 0:04:28.000 --> 0:04:29.200 I think most women are. 0:04:29.360 --> 0:04:31.880 Like I'm gonna overgeneralize here and say that I think 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:37.279 most women are tapped into that like clean up after 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:42.160 yourself kind of like or like oh god, like they're 0:04:42.160 --> 0:04:42.800 just not grubb. 0:04:42.839 --> 0:04:44.200 I mean they're not grubby. 0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:46.880 Yeah, I just I feel like they've just got that 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:48.960 Like you know, when you open a bonnet of a 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:51.919 car and it has like those little chip things what 0:04:51.960 --> 0:04:52.560 do you call them? 0:04:52.640 --> 0:04:57.520 They're like chips, you know, like you know, like the 0:04:57.560 --> 0:04:59.640 little chips and you pull them out and you pull 0:04:59.640 --> 0:04:59.920 them back. 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:02.160 Oh you mean the oil tester. 0:05:02.560 --> 0:05:04.520 No no, no, no, in a car bonnet. 0:05:04.640 --> 0:05:07.480 Again and again. If over here doesn't anything. Oh, by 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:09.040 the way, when I had the car accident, I had 0:05:09.080 --> 0:05:10.400 no idea what to do. I had to call like 0:05:10.400 --> 0:05:12.960 a family friend and be like, what's the process? Like 0:05:13.040 --> 0:05:13.760 I had no idea. 0:05:13.960 --> 0:05:16.040 Okay, so, like you know when you open your car 0:05:16.120 --> 0:05:20.719 bonnet and there's these little well I was calling chips before, 0:05:20.839 --> 0:05:23.679 but they're actually like fuses, right, and they're like little 0:05:23.720 --> 0:05:26.520 micro chips that you have in your car and they 0:05:26.560 --> 0:05:32.680 do different things like electronically. That's how I see. That's like, well, 0:05:32.800 --> 0:05:35.880 we as a person, we have an engine as in 0:05:35.960 --> 0:05:39.600 like we are like motoring through life. 0:05:39.960 --> 0:05:41.680 And I think some people have. 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:45.520 Some people don't, do you know what I mean, they 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:47.159 have those fuses and they don't. 0:05:47.720 --> 0:05:49.760 But you know, I feel like women have a lot 0:05:49.800 --> 0:05:51.320 of fuses. They've got a full. 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:54.719 Thing of fuses, and men have very little, so they're 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:57.520 not wired correctly, you know what I mean? 0:05:57.880 --> 0:05:59.320 That was the connection. 0:05:59.400 --> 0:06:05.599 Trying to well, obviously you're wide correctly. I had no 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:06.479 idea what you're talking about. 0:06:06.880 --> 0:06:07.240 Users? 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:09.400 Users, Yeah, they're like, and I think does that come 0:06:09.440 --> 0:06:11.279 into the saying you have a short fuse? 0:06:11.760 --> 0:06:12.240 Probably. 0:06:12.720 --> 0:06:17.799 I feel like there's women have like different skills, and 0:06:17.960 --> 0:06:20.240 you know they were kind of like not always. 0:06:19.920 --> 0:06:22.320 Born with them. They just you just learned, you know. 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:23.880 Maybe it's a child within. 0:06:23.960 --> 0:06:25.559 I think not everyone is going to be the same, 0:06:25.680 --> 0:06:28.799 but like, I don't know, there's there's I think women 0:06:28.960 --> 0:06:34.200 are conditioned to, you know, from society from TV, to 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:37.760 look a certain way. Yeah, exactly, it comes from the patriarchy. 0:06:37.960 --> 0:06:40.240 But I think with that looking a certain way, being 0:06:40.279 --> 0:06:44.760 a certain way, upholding like beauty standards a certain way, 0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:50.000 I think women generally this is just obviously just women presenting. 0:06:50.120 --> 0:06:52.560 And you know, I feel like maybe trans women maybe 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:56.559 feel a different type of pressure. But I'm saying like women, 0:06:57.800 --> 0:07:01.320 I personally feel like that was like, well, I need 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:03.120 to uphold and I need to be Like even when 0:07:03.160 --> 0:07:05.160 I was talking about miss smelling, like I was like, oh, 0:07:05.240 --> 0:07:08.200 I don't smell correctly, so I need to fix it. 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:11.200 So I need to be clean, so I need to wash, 0:07:11.440 --> 0:07:13.320 and like you know that you taught those sort of 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:15.920 things anyways, blah blah blah. I'm just saying, like women, 0:07:16.040 --> 0:07:18.080 I think have the type. 0:07:17.840 --> 0:07:19.920 Of fuse that is like. 0:07:20.200 --> 0:07:24.800 Clean, okay, so take care of dated hygiene is important 0:07:24.840 --> 0:07:25.040 to me? 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:26.200 Is it not the same? 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:30.560 Not always? There's very few men that really take pride 0:07:31.480 --> 0:07:35.520 in cleanliness and hygiene. Gay men, I would say, are 0:07:35.560 --> 0:07:39.080 like the highest percentage of men that you know. 0:07:39.120 --> 0:07:41.560 I mean, maybe that's like a vanity focus. I'm not 0:07:41.600 --> 0:07:42.040 too sure. 0:07:42.080 --> 0:07:45.120 I don't know, but like I'm just saying, like the 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:48.760 men that I have dated who are heterosexual men have 0:07:49.040 --> 0:07:53.840 all been grubby as fuck. Really, Like there's been two 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:56.480 nol and nick grubby. 0:07:56.800 --> 0:08:02.640 No clean, oh clean clean? Even Nicko was krubby anyway. 0:08:02.120 --> 0:08:05.240 And grubby in the sense that like. 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:07.760 Like a woman smells nice, okay. 0:08:07.360 --> 0:08:12.240 There's no pheromones. There's nice pheromones, nice smelling pheromones, not 0:08:12.320 --> 0:08:17.680 like stinky bo like they just went to the gym. 0:08:19.280 --> 0:08:21.040 I mean, my man hating error. 0:08:21.680 --> 0:08:23.920 Doesn't sound like it. 0:08:23.960 --> 0:08:26.600 But yeah, I would say, like that's one of the hygiene, 0:08:27.920 --> 0:08:30.920 the thoughtfulness acts of service, Like let's be honest, like 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:36.040 when I have period pain, there's just like a nice, 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:38.880 comfortable knowing that Mia knows exactly what the fuck I'm 0:08:38.920 --> 0:08:41.760 going through, even if she doesn't experience it. She cannot 0:08:41.800 --> 0:08:44.480 can kind of sympathize and understand, and she knows what 0:08:44.559 --> 0:08:46.560 to do in that where a man doesn't. So he 0:08:46.600 --> 0:08:49.040 doesn't know and if you even tell him, like what 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:52.080 you need, he still doesn't do it. 0:08:52.120 --> 0:08:53.480 Okay, like give me. 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:54.600 A fucking heatpack. 0:08:58.280 --> 0:09:01.480 Okay, this is a fault though, this is this is 0:09:01.480 --> 0:09:04.280 going the other way. So I'm obviously gone one way 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:10.199 with disliking the comparison of men to women. But when 0:09:10.240 --> 0:09:14.160 I've been in previous women relationships, the emotions are really 0:09:14.200 --> 0:09:20.040 intense and really high. So sometimes the arguments or the conflict, 0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:24.120 like the conflict can be really intense, so it can be. 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:27.199 Like zero to one hundred, like real quick. 0:09:28.160 --> 0:09:30.920 And sometimes that's really good, it's passionate, but like the 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:32.440 other times it's not good. 0:09:32.960 --> 0:09:35.320 I haven't had that with me yet, it. 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:39.760 So, but yeah, I think that's like a fault, not 0:09:39.800 --> 0:09:42.480 a fault, I guess, like, but like comparison to datty men, 0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:46.040 like sometimes men are just like I don't know, you 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:48.959 give them grace. You're like you don't understand. It's fine, 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:50.839 just get out, just get out, just like. 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:57.560 Right now, you're what am I supposed to do? But 0:09:58.200 --> 0:10:01.720 very well want to compare men and women, I just 0:10:01.720 --> 0:10:04.560 don't have that comparison because I haven't been with women. 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:06.880 So what I can say is that if you want 0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:09.280 a good in between, I'll sell you a gay man. 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:14.480 So I think they have attributes of both, you know, 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:17.480 the masculine side of things and the feminine side of things. 0:10:17.880 --> 0:10:20.719 And I think that I'm gonna make the best of 0:10:20.760 --> 0:10:23.680 both words, the best of both worlds, get the best, 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:28.439 you know. So I had a friend who was an 0:10:28.440 --> 0:10:31.640 older friend, not in age, but not a friend anymore, 0:10:31.640 --> 0:10:35.640 past friend, and they were so like insecure about their 0:10:35.679 --> 0:10:39.079 identity about being gay. And I remember being like thinking 0:10:39.120 --> 0:10:42.320 to myself, like, are you kidding? Like we are the 0:10:42.360 --> 0:10:46.200 best of both worlds? Like I really feel like literally 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:51.240 we are literally like the best thing that was ever made. No, 0:10:51.360 --> 0:10:54.160 but literally, I'm just gonna jump on and tell you no, 0:10:54.720 --> 0:10:59.680 I seriously, I seriously feel like gay men are at 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:01.160 the nickel of society. 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:03.240 Oh that's a bit call. 0:11:03.200 --> 0:11:05.240 It is, And I'm a stand by, I'm a stand 0:11:05.280 --> 0:11:09.080 on my truth. No, but I I just think on 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:10.760 that hill when I when I say that, I don't 0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:12.760 mean the pinnacle of society and everyone's below us. I 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:16.520 just feel like we've been given a little something extra. 0:11:17.360 --> 0:11:21.000 It's like a little sprinkle of Yeah, you know, all 0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:24.360 the flavors of the flavors of the world. Yeah, it's clean. No. 0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:28.640 I hate when people stereotype gay men because like, is 0:11:28.679 --> 0:11:30.959 there grubby men out Like is there grubby gay men 0:11:31.000 --> 0:11:31.400 out there? 0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:35.320 Or are they closet homosexuals? Like do you know what 0:11:35.320 --> 0:11:35.559 I mean? 0:11:36.520 --> 0:11:38.320 I'm sure there are grubby gay men out there? Of 0:11:38.360 --> 0:11:38.959 course there are. 0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:41.280 You know, listen of the things of like why gay 0:11:41.320 --> 0:11:42.000 men are the best? 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:43.080 What do you mean why not? 0:11:44.760 --> 0:11:47.800 Like actually, like through your point, give me facts. I 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:48.560 want facts. 0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:49.920 I'm a good bag. 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:53.040 I say, what s it? 0:11:53.160 --> 0:11:56.040 No, okay, what I mean by that is. 0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:58.280 That you're clean. 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:01.160 Yeah, but that's like the bare minimum. Girl. We got 0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:01.480 so much. 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:03.600 But when you say feminine energy, like, what do you mean? 0:12:03.640 --> 0:12:10.240 Like gay men so emotionally intelligent, sensitive, We can emotionally connect. 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:12.640 We can connect with our emotions much easier, and. 0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:14.200 It's probably communicate them. 0:12:14.480 --> 0:12:18.760 Yeah, like in multiple languages, okay, like a stare like. 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:24.560 You kill me? 0:12:24.720 --> 0:12:30.760 Okay, yeah you well, I would say, okay, this is 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:33.600 an over generalization, but I think he's about. 0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:35.480 To list all the things that game integrade at Well, No, 0:12:35.520 --> 0:12:35.880 I was just. 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:38.480 Going to say, like, queer people in general, I think 0:12:38.600 --> 0:12:41.760 are like not gonna lie pretty elitists, like we're the 0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:45.719 best because one, I think because as a minority and 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:49.160 a minority group and in society, like we've been oppressed, right, 0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:52.120 So there's history of like oppression and the fact that 0:12:52.280 --> 0:12:57.240 there's so much like history, like like horrible history, and 0:12:57.280 --> 0:13:00.400 it has had you know, like we've had to reclaim and. 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:03.120 Like reassert ourselves, et cetera, et cetera. 0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:05.720 You know this history, Like I've only got thirty years 0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:09.920 of my life living in that. But like I think 0:13:10.960 --> 0:13:13.439 with that, when you when you are like a bit 0:13:13.480 --> 0:13:18.960 of when you have been oppressed, even as a First 0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:21.600 Nations person, you know, the feeling of like resistance, right, 0:13:21.720 --> 0:13:24.439 And so I feel like that makes us so much 0:13:24.480 --> 0:13:27.240 more Look, I'm going to say less judgy, but I'm 0:13:27.240 --> 0:13:29.280 going to use that lightly. But I'm also going to 0:13:29.320 --> 0:13:33.400 say we are more inclusive, and I think we're more accepting. 0:13:33.559 --> 0:13:34.600 Yeah, we are more accepted. 0:13:34.679 --> 0:13:36.560 And I think as a society, like if you put 0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:40.360 all the queer people in like you know, in the world, 0:13:40.559 --> 0:13:44.400 in one room, I can honestly say, like comfortably hand 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:46.400 on heart that I feel like it would turn. 0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:55.200 Into an orgy, the world's world record orgy. You kill me. 0:13:56.000 --> 0:14:00.280 You were so serious, so serious, like people in the 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:04.760 world into one, and I'm like. 0:14:03.240 --> 0:14:05.240 Like, hand on heart, no, but. 0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:08.760 Look like for real like that that that's like myni 0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:10.400 gral but like twenty times over. 0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:12.800 But I just think you're so right. I think what 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:15.520 you're spot on about is the fact that as a community, 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:18.200 we've always had to fight and prove our identity and 0:14:18.320 --> 0:14:21.640 stand up for ourselves and fight for who we are. 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:24.560 So like there's this resilience that's built. And I think 0:14:24.600 --> 0:14:29.880 that as queen people, our lives have been a journey 0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:33.640 of always trying having to ask yourself questions about your identity, 0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:37.560 prove that y'a externally to people, and then at some point, 0:14:37.640 --> 0:14:41.480 I feel like you get to a place where you're 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:44.600 just like fuck it, Like I don't need to I 0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:47.560 don't need to continue to like prove myself to anyone. 0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:49.640 I think that comes with being first nations as well 0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:52.600 in this country. So I feel like, you know how 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:55.560 I said gay people are like the best in society. 0:14:55.640 --> 0:14:59.320 I think that like the intersection of blackfellows and queer so. 0:14:59.360 --> 0:15:02.000 Yeah, that that kind of takes me to my next No, 0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:03.640 but that kind of takes me to my next point, 0:15:03.720 --> 0:15:06.880 right because like when I'm so now being in a 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:12.480 same sex relationship, I feel so much more comfortable. Not 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:15.600 that I ever did feeling like straight, because it was 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:20.040 never straight obviously, like being byed doesn't just go away. 0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:21.200 But I felt like. 0:15:22.000 --> 0:15:29.560 When I was in heteroonormative relationships, I didn't always feel 0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:34.280 like the places and the things that I was doing 0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:38.160 in those relationships were always the most like accepting and 0:15:38.280 --> 0:15:41.280 like most like more comfortable. Even though I have like 0:15:41.360 --> 0:15:43.360 all my queer friends, right yeah, and like when I 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:45.960 hang out with them one on one, it's great, but 0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:48.360 when I hang out with them with my relationship, it 0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:49.600 kind of always feels. 0:15:49.320 --> 0:15:51.640 Like I am having to. 0:15:51.600 --> 0:15:55.240 Make my partner feel comfortable about being in that space 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:57.880 where it doesn't that kind of feels like work, right, 0:15:57.960 --> 0:16:00.080 And I think that's probably a comparison that I I 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:04.800 didn't really like being in a sort of heteronormative relationship, 0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:06.960 and I think like now being with me or I 0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:11.680 feel like all the spaces that I'm in like feel 0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:15.360 just easy, Like i feel like I'm just am I 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:17.920 comfortable and just it's just like a. 0:16:17.840 --> 0:16:18.920 Brief that's really nice. 0:16:19.080 --> 0:16:19.800 Yeah it is. 0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:24.160 It's like I don't have to like prove myself, you 0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:26.720 know what I mean, not that I was or like 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:30.320 have been. Like people know that I'm but every time 0:16:30.800 --> 0:16:33.200 I feel like I was in a like straight relationship 0:16:33.280 --> 0:16:36.160 or dating someone, they would just deny it and I 0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:39.520 was like yeah, and I get really upset about it. 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:41.000 But I think that's the best. 0:16:40.800 --> 0:16:45.840 Thing about my current relationship is that, like I'm with 0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:50.800 a partner who he's you know, my day to day 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:54.480 shit is like can listen and not judge. It's the 0:16:54.520 --> 0:17:00.119 best and understands to a level that I've actually needed 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:03.760 my whole life, like whole life, like just just someone 0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:08.600 to listen to or like and but have this like 0:17:08.720 --> 0:17:10.639 feeling like, oh I feel understood. 0:17:10.800 --> 0:17:11.879 It's the best. 0:17:11.960 --> 0:17:15.240 But like, yeah, I don't think I've really felt like that. 0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:18.280 I think other relationships have been pretty superficial and a 0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:21.440 bit like like transactional. 0:17:21.720 --> 0:17:26.160 I guess, yeah, yeah, I definitely feel like. 0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:29.440 Also, I gained a whole new wardrobe being with a girl, 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:31.520 you like, you get a whole new wardrobe. 0:17:31.600 --> 0:17:33.520 Do you get that as well? With Denny? Do you 0:17:33.560 --> 0:17:34.359 guys share clothes. 0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:37.000 H some one of us has bigger muscles. 0:17:38.320 --> 0:17:38.720 Who is it? 0:17:40.680 --> 0:17:44.440 Yeah, who is it? You tell me? No, just it's God. 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:48.040 From comparing just being Maddy, just being like I'm the best. 0:17:50.520 --> 0:17:57.480 We do share clothes, but specific clothes, yeah, sometimes actually 0:17:57.560 --> 0:18:03.359 and sex toys now okay, No, Look when he is 0:18:03.560 --> 0:18:05.919 one thing that I really admire about Danny, and I 0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:10.120 think that, like sometimes in the gay community can can 0:18:10.160 --> 0:18:12.639 be something that many people need to work on. But 0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:16.960 being judgmental, Danny's really not judgmental at all. You know. 0:18:17.000 --> 0:18:20.159 He's actually taught me to not judge and be more 0:18:20.200 --> 0:18:23.119 compassionate towards people, even people who have made mistakes in 0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:26.399 their lives. Like we watch documentaries and I'm always thinking, 0:18:26.480 --> 0:18:29.760 like that person needs to go to hell and jail forever. 0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:31.879 They're the worst person on the planet, and I'm judging 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:34.879 them hard. Denny's like, people can make mistakes in their lives, 0:18:34.880 --> 0:18:36.640 mat and this person now has to spend the rest 0:18:36.640 --> 0:18:39.760 of their time. There's consequences, and they should, you know, 0:18:39.840 --> 0:18:42.240 face the consequences, but you can still feel empathy for them. 0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:44.320 And I'm like, no, I usually was talking about that. 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:47.359 Yeah, And so like he's taught me a lot about 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:50.080 compassion and empathy. Even though I thought I was a 0:18:50.160 --> 0:18:53.080 compassionate person, He's sort of brought this next level of 0:18:53.080 --> 0:18:57.159 that and has really resisted me with a relationship with 0:18:57.200 --> 0:19:00.880 my mum actually, you know, like he's so passionate towards 0:19:01.040 --> 0:19:04.800 my family dynamics as well. So yeah, I think being 0:19:04.920 --> 0:19:07.159 less judgmental is something that the gay community need to 0:19:07.160 --> 0:19:07.520 work on. 0:19:08.000 --> 0:19:10.359 I have a question on that. I mean, so, like 0:19:10.480 --> 0:19:13.120 Danny's not like an Australian or he's Australian citizen. 0:19:13.160 --> 0:19:16.040 Now well he has his citizenship test. 0:19:15.840 --> 0:19:18.840 In like a week, Okay, so yeah, Danny's not quite 0:19:18.880 --> 0:19:22.159 an Australian citizen yet, so this is a citizenship is 0:19:22.160 --> 0:19:22.560 coming up. 0:19:22.640 --> 0:19:26.200 He doesn't have any Australian in him, but he has 0:19:26.280 --> 0:19:27.680 had it in him. 0:19:29.680 --> 0:19:32.280 And then that is when you put up the kangaroo 0:19:32.359 --> 0:19:34.359 and the and you emoji. 0:19:36.280 --> 0:19:41.639 No my question today, I'm yeah, No, I was gonna ask. 0:19:41.520 --> 0:19:44.080 A really good question, like in terms, because obviously you 0:19:44.080 --> 0:19:46.360 can't compare it to women and men, but you can 0:19:46.400 --> 0:19:52.000 compare someone who is Australian slash English speaking, where Danny 0:19:52.160 --> 0:19:56.200 isn't English is in his first language, right, Spanish is Yeah, 0:19:56.320 --> 0:19:59.919 so like have you, what's the difference between like dating 0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:05.879 someone where you you're having to understand him on a 0:20:05.880 --> 0:20:09.560 different level of like language, Barrows. 0:20:09.080 --> 0:20:09.640 You know what I mean. 0:20:09.760 --> 0:20:12.200 I think language, but also privilege, like when you come 0:20:12.200 --> 0:20:14.600 from a country like Columbia where you don't have the 0:20:14.640 --> 0:20:17.840 support systems that our country have, and you can definitely 0:20:17.880 --> 0:20:20.040 see that to make it or to be successful, you 0:20:20.119 --> 0:20:21.960 have to work your fucking ass off. You don't have 0:20:22.000 --> 0:20:23.760