WEBVTT - The Inquest Into Brooke's Sisters Death 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:03.000 Welcome to First things first, I'm Brook Blert, and my 0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:04.120 pronouns as she and her. 0:00:04.440 --> 0:00:06.440 I'm Maddie Mills, my pronouns are he and him. And 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:09.080 before we get started, we'd like to acknowledge the custodians 0:00:09.080 --> 0:00:11.160 of the land on which we record, and for me 0:00:11.280 --> 0:00:12.960 today that's the gatigil people of. 0:00:12.920 --> 0:00:15.280 The ur nation, and for me it's a waundry people 0:00:15.320 --> 0:00:16.160 of the cooler nation. 0:00:16.360 --> 0:00:17.800 And let's get. 0:00:17.360 --> 0:00:22.600 Into it a bit of different energy this episode than 0:00:22.680 --> 0:00:25.400 our last few. I feel like we've got, you know, 0:00:25.440 --> 0:00:27.320 some more serious topics to talk about. 0:00:27.400 --> 0:00:29.920 MM because I think it's really important. I think it's 0:00:29.920 --> 0:00:34.760 also a good representation of I guess how much growth 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:38.519 and how much stuff has happened over time, and I 0:00:38.560 --> 0:00:43.280 think a moment I guess to acknowledge sometimes that you 0:00:43.400 --> 0:00:47.120 need closure. I do. I like this saying where it's 0:00:47.159 --> 0:00:49.320 like that was then this is now and sort of 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:51.640 drawing a line in the sand and being like okay, 0:00:51.840 --> 0:00:55.200 like can't change that, but this is now, and whatever 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:57.320 we're going to do, we're going to be moving forward. 0:00:58.120 --> 0:01:00.600 So I feel like I've had a bit of a 0:01:00.640 --> 0:01:05.640 weight shift in terms of breakthroughs, in terms of my healing, 0:01:06.240 --> 0:01:09.200 so pretty much. Three years ago, my sister died and 0:01:09.920 --> 0:01:12.160 her death was quite suspicious. 0:01:12.319 --> 0:01:13.039 There were other. 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:15.440 Women in the area that had died at similar time 0:01:15.760 --> 0:01:18.040 and similar place, so only a couple of hundred meters 0:01:18.040 --> 0:01:21.360 away from each other. It was ordering COVID winter, and 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:23.319 it was a really hard time because at the same 0:01:23.360 --> 0:01:27.920 time I had just finished the bachelorette and for three 0:01:28.040 --> 0:01:31.319 years I have been doing an inquiry, so that's an inquest. 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:35.120 So inquiry into someone's death is pretty much the lawyers 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:38.520 work with all the other departments like I guess, you know, 0:01:38.680 --> 0:01:43.440 trying to get CCTV, trying to reports, the coroner and 0:01:43.480 --> 0:01:47.640 the coroner's court, so basically trying to gather as much 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:50.360 information as they can and then looking at it and 0:01:50.400 --> 0:01:53.240 then pretty much kind of determining what the actual cause 0:01:53.240 --> 0:01:57.200 of death was because we were never really told what 0:01:57.240 --> 0:01:59.960 the sequence of events were. And then obviously over three 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:04.120 years I've learned to know those details and it hasn't 0:02:04.160 --> 0:02:07.320 been easy, like listening to it. Like you know, usually 0:02:07.360 --> 0:02:10.920 when someone dies, you know, have a die and you 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:13.680 can kind of start the grieving process, but it has 0:02:13.760 --> 0:02:18.160 dragged out for about three years that grieving process, and 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:20.600 up until recently when I was in Perth, when I 0:02:20.680 --> 0:02:24.720 decided that I was going to close the inquiry. Yeah, so, yeah, 0:02:24.880 --> 0:02:25.560 big moment. 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:27.920 I mean, it's been a long journey for you and 0:02:27.960 --> 0:02:31.000 your family three years. You know, has that time gone 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:32.840 by quickly for you or has it seemed like a 0:02:32.880 --> 0:02:34.200 long time since she passed away? 0:02:35.200 --> 0:02:38.520 Both in a weird way, it has gone so quick 0:02:38.600 --> 0:02:41.720 because the first year I was just so wrapped up 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:46.040 in the bachelorette and like all my jobs and the book, 0:02:46.280 --> 0:02:48.960 and you know, I had all these obligations and responsibilities, 0:02:48.960 --> 0:02:51.400 and then all of a sudden, it kind of all 0:02:51.480 --> 0:02:55.279 hit me at some point. And when I started the inquiry, 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:58.639 it wasn't because I wanted to like relive the trauma. 0:02:58.960 --> 0:03:02.160 I wanted it to sort of inquire because of those 0:03:02.200 --> 0:03:05.079 other suspicious deaths in the area and why was that happening. 0:03:05.120 --> 0:03:08.120 And then also a lot of the details that we 0:03:08.120 --> 0:03:12.040 were told throughout my sister's you know, like announcement of 0:03:12.680 --> 0:03:17.040 her passing away were wrong. So they'd given us wrong details. 0:03:17.400 --> 0:03:19.040 She apparently had died on this day and that was 0:03:19.080 --> 0:03:21.119 completely wrong, Like she had died actually like a couple 0:03:21.160 --> 0:03:23.639 of days beforehand, and we didn't get told for a while, 0:03:24.280 --> 0:03:26.960 so there was all this misinformation, and I guess that 0:03:27.040 --> 0:03:31.519 was probably what drove me to start the inquiry, being like, yeah, 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:34.400 over the years that she's been in care, she's been 0:03:34.480 --> 0:03:38.480 under what they call the Public Trustee and pretty much 0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:42.360 is like a governing body and they look after people 0:03:42.360 --> 0:03:45.880 who have mental illness, and so she's pretty much under 0:03:46.120 --> 0:03:50.920 a guardianship pretty much, and they kind of are responsible 0:03:50.920 --> 0:03:53.680 for all of her funds, her money, and for her 0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:56.520 well being generally, like they're meant to make sure that 0:03:56.560 --> 0:03:59.880 she gets to her appointments. She's homed because she's not 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:04.400 capable of doing that herself because of her illness. She's 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:09.040 not completely like deabilitated, but she can't function and remember 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:14.160 those things because you know, having schizophrenia and having other conditions, 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:17.320 you can imagine that's quite difficult for someone to manage 0:04:17.360 --> 0:04:20.880 their own life. So these you know, governing bodies step 0:04:20.920 --> 0:04:22.960 in and they take care of all of that for 0:04:23.080 --> 0:04:25.200 people and try to manage that as best they can. 0:04:25.320 --> 0:04:28.120 But there was some negligence that was happening that I 0:04:28.160 --> 0:04:31.200 had seen over the years that did make sense to me, 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:34.120 and I guess kind of felt like that was maybe 0:04:34.839 --> 0:04:38.000 what had kind of led her to be in this 0:04:38.080 --> 0:04:41.200 situation and then I guess on the streets and then 0:04:41.279 --> 0:04:47.920 obviously found passed away at Urine no Yaegen Square, which 0:04:47.960 --> 0:04:50.520 is a very significant place for a lot of original people. 0:04:50.600 --> 0:04:55.560 Yagen was like this warrior in the Nonga culture, and 0:04:55.760 --> 0:04:59.400 they named the central park called Yagen's Square, which is 0:04:59.440 --> 0:05:01.280 a lot of It's like a central place where a 0:05:01.279 --> 0:05:05.400 lot of people will walk past, tourists, lots of cafes 0:05:05.440 --> 0:05:10.400 and restaurants, et cetera. So it's quite significant, but also 0:05:11.160 --> 0:05:15.960 very conflicting because how does someone pass away on the 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:18.760 streets of Perth and no one noticed them for hours? 0:05:18.800 --> 0:05:22.279 And then you know, so it's been obviously, like you know, 0:05:22.360 --> 0:05:24.719 three years. It's a long time to be sitting with 0:05:24.800 --> 0:05:26.400 that grief and then to be able to make it 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:28.640 a decision, a really tough decision, not just for you 0:05:28.680 --> 0:05:32.000 but for your family. When did you start thinking that 0:05:32.040 --> 0:05:34.680 you might be stopping the in quest and what led 0:05:34.720 --> 0:05:35.440 to that decision? 0:05:37.960 --> 0:05:40.640 Well, in another world, I'd probably would have loved to 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:43.600 still continue. I think when I spoke to a lot 0:05:43.640 --> 0:05:46.240 of the lawyers, you know, they give you sort of 0:05:46.240 --> 0:05:48.640 options of what we can do and what the information 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:51.200 that they've found, right they you know, they go do 0:05:51.480 --> 0:05:54.440 the work and they're like seeking the information, I guess, 0:05:54.480 --> 0:05:56.080 and then they come to you and say, this is 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:56.720 what we found. 0:05:57.680 --> 0:05:58.760 Would you like to move forward? 0:05:58.800 --> 0:06:01.480 And over three years I've been like, yes, let's move 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:03.400 forward and move forward and move forward to see what 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:06.560 information they can keep getting, and pretty much got to 0:06:06.600 --> 0:06:09.840 a point where they were like the coroners declared the death, 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:13.560 went ahead and did that without even knowing that we 0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:17.839 were in and doing an inquiry, so completely disregarded the 0:06:17.880 --> 0:06:23.279 family out like us in that and declared without sort 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:27.040 of yeah, considering that there might be some you. 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:29.600 Know, questions, yep, and. 0:06:29.520 --> 0:06:32.200 They don't normally do that actually, but yeah, it just 0:06:32.200 --> 0:06:37.240 seemed a bit disrespectful. But we couldn't, I guess now, 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:39.840 because that's already locked in and and sort of done, 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:44.760 the reports done. Yeah, reopening it makes it so much 0:06:44.800 --> 0:06:47.159 more harder. And so if he hadn't or he or 0:06:47.160 --> 0:06:49.240 she whatever hadn't done that, it would be a little 0:06:49.240 --> 0:06:53.800 bit easier. Okay, But because they disregarded us, Yeah, we've 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:56.480 already had been doing the effort for three years and 0:06:56.520 --> 0:06:58.400 then you know they've just gone aheadn't done that? 0:06:58.600 --> 0:07:01.040 It just put us kind of back a little bit. 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:04.640 I made it more difficult to reopen and reinquire, and 0:07:05.160 --> 0:07:08.200 so much more admin and so much more reporting into 0:07:08.720 --> 0:07:10.679 the reasons why. So I would have to be doing 0:07:11.080 --> 0:07:14.400 actually like writing reports of why I want to inquire 0:07:14.600 --> 0:07:17.280 and these reasons why, et cetera. Even the voyas would 0:07:17.280 --> 0:07:19.800 probably be doing that with me as well. But because 0:07:19.840 --> 0:07:22.800 I'm the family member that is inquiring and opening the inquest, 0:07:23.440 --> 0:07:25.120 it would just be a lot of admin. And I 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:28.720 think because of the place and time I am in 0:07:28.760 --> 0:07:31.240 my life at the moment, it was just a lot 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:33.840 of emotional labor that I was not willing to take on. 0:07:34.840 --> 0:07:38.840 And you know, I actually had a therapy session before 0:07:39.000 --> 0:07:42.960 I decided to close the inquest, and I think that 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:45.800 was a huge shift with me talking to my therapist 0:07:45.880 --> 0:07:50.320 about it. We did sort of the visualization of if 0:07:50.360 --> 0:07:53.000 my sister was still alive today, you know, how would 0:07:53.040 --> 0:07:55.520 she feel if I was to continue this, and how 0:07:55.520 --> 0:07:58.560 would she feel if I decided that I was at 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:00.800 capacity and I wanted to stop it. And I think 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:02.960 for me, I was holding onto a lot of guilt 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:04.920 because I thought that I had maybe let her. 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:07.720 Down, and. 0:08:11.680 --> 0:08:20.680 It's a hard one because it's so conflicting because the 0:08:20.720 --> 0:08:23.120 Bachelor was probably one of the best moments of my 0:08:23.240 --> 0:08:31.080 life in terms of getting to experience that the opportunity 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:37.080 and in I guess, my career. But the reality, I 0:08:37.120 --> 0:08:41.200 think is the fact that I was off frolicking and 0:08:41.559 --> 0:08:45.439 doing these, you know, really glamorous things, and the reality 0:08:45.520 --> 0:08:49.720 is that my sister was living on the streets and 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:56.560 homeless and vulnerable, and I just had so much And 0:08:56.600 --> 0:08:58.680 I still partly do have a lot. 0:08:58.600 --> 0:09:00.160 Of guilt around that because. 0:09:01.559 --> 0:09:05.319 I've always been, you know, around, and I've always been 0:09:05.360 --> 0:09:13.080 so available for my family and my sister, and I 0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:16.480 just sometimes just wish I could just turn back a 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:20.000 little bit of time and just make sure that she 0:09:20.200 --> 0:09:24.280 was okay first of all, that I wouldn't feel so 0:09:24.320 --> 0:09:26.040 guilty for going and doing that. 0:09:25.960 --> 0:09:27.360 In my life. 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:29.640 I'm glad I did it, but at the same time, 0:09:30.600 --> 0:09:34.320 the reality is that it cost me a lot in 0:09:34.440 --> 0:09:40.719 terms of losing a family member, feeling guilty because this 0:09:40.760 --> 0:09:45.679 is a great opportunity, but it's not worth the sacrifice, 0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:47.280 I guess in a way. 0:09:47.880 --> 0:09:50.319 Do you believe that if she didn't do the Bachelorette 0:09:50.320 --> 0:09:52.319 that you would have been able to stop the outcome 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:55.000 of what's happened, Like is that something that you question 0:09:56.400 --> 0:09:57.120 quite often? 0:09:57.559 --> 0:10:01.120 And I think I would have just been able to 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:05.720 not control the narrative a little bit, but actually like 0:10:07.080 --> 0:10:10.240 step in and have things in place that I would 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:15.880 make sure that she wasn't as vulnerable, because I guess 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:18.840 I've been doing that over the decade, and I write 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:25.080 about this in Big Love, you know, scrubbing like fucking vomit, 0:10:25.120 --> 0:10:27.600 piss and shit and blood like on you know, a 0:10:27.679 --> 0:10:33.040 floor of a backpacker's hostel place room where my sister 0:10:33.200 --> 0:10:36.560 is like they're paying for the accommodation, but she's actually 0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:41.280 not safe to stay there. Just this is the thing, 0:10:41.320 --> 0:10:43.960 And that's probably why I was so passionate about driving 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:49.960 this inquiry forward, because there was such negligence and when 0:10:49.960 --> 0:10:53.439 if I was just there, i'd sort of be able 0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:56.920 to to, you know, control that. 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:00.960 Or like not control is the world. 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:03.920 But yeah, you might have been able to, you know, 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:06.520 support her more. But in saying that, I think that 0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:09.280 we both know and I can speak from my point 0:11:09.280 --> 0:11:12.440 of view with family members who we want to support 0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:15.920 and we want I've got a sister who I'm constantly 0:11:16.520 --> 0:11:20.960 wanting a different outcome for her life right, And I 0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:24.200 think you know this, But all we can do is 0:11:24.679 --> 0:11:28.040 like be there for them when they decide they want 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:30.240 to reach out to us. We can't always be the 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:33.680 person who is steering their life because it just doesn't 0:11:33.720 --> 0:11:36.320 work like that, you know. So it's like, as much 0:11:36.320 --> 0:11:39.080 as you feel like you wish that you could have 0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:42.280 supported her more in those moments, and you know, the 0:11:42.320 --> 0:11:46.600 final moments, I definitely feel like we have to know, 0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:50.600 as people who want to help and help and help 0:11:50.640 --> 0:11:53.760 our families that no matter what we do, it's up 0:11:53.800 --> 0:11:56.720 to our families whether they accept that help or not, 0:11:56.880 --> 0:12:00.520 you know. And I think it's different for me and 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:04.760 you in this circumstances, especially because your sister's mental health condition, 0:12:04.960 --> 0:12:09.480 you know, something that does obviously make her even more 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:12.199 vulnerable in society. But I don't ever want you to 0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:15.839 feel like you didn't do enough, because no matter how 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:18.960 much we do, no matter how much, there is still 0:12:19.080 --> 0:12:23.400 a level of accepting that help and support that needs 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:26.439 to come from our families, you know, And a lot 0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:28.679 of the time they avoid it. Sometimes it comes down 0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:31.400 to shame. I see that in my own family. But yeah, 0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:33.880 I don't think that, you know, you need to ever 0:12:34.000 --> 0:12:35.200 put the blame on yourself. 0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:41.080 I'm not normally one to also point the blame to 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:44.240 anyone else, but there has been a frustration, and I 0:12:44.280 --> 0:12:51.600 guess and in a rage that you know, people who 0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:55.600 are schizophrenic or have mental illness are completely vulnerable, and 0:12:55.840 --> 0:13:00.640 they rely on the services that you know, are governed 0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:05.840 by the government and by community service, and these people 0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:09.400 are meant to be taking care of these vulnerable people totally. 0:13:09.400 --> 0:13:14.680 They're meant to be, if not, taking responsibility for them, 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:18.240 because they are so incapable of doing that, like mental 0:13:18.280 --> 0:13:20.600 illnesses and just like, hey, one day, I just decided 0:13:20.600 --> 0:13:24.400 that I wasn't going to manage my own life. It 0:13:24.520 --> 0:13:29.400 is a condition. It's as an actual change of chemical 0:13:30.240 --> 0:13:33.800 in the brain. So it's not a matter of like, oh, 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:36.120 I just need someone else to do all the things 0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:38.600 in my life now, like manage my admin etc. Like 0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:42.880 these people have had huge change. Whether they've induced that 0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:47.240 through their own circumstance and experiences, it doesn't matter. They're 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:50.559 still completely vulnerable. And I think that was the rage 0:13:50.559 --> 0:13:54.400 that was happening for me, was that the negligence that 0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:59.360 was coming from these governing bodies. Where is that money 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:02.200 and funding going to that you're not putting into my 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:04.800 sister and you're not making sure she's safe and making 0:14:04.800 --> 0:14:07.560 sure that she's okay, Like why are you paying for 0:14:07.640 --> 0:14:10.800 accommodation at a hostel with no lock. 0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:14.959 On the door? And why you allowing. 0:14:14.400 --> 0:14:17.200 Her to stay with like forty other vulnerable people who 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:22.240 probably all have mental illness, probably have substance abuse or 0:14:22.360 --> 0:14:24.560 like experience and trauma. 0:14:24.720 --> 0:14:26.960 And I just didn't understand. 0:14:27.040 --> 0:14:28.760 And I think, yeah, I think you're right, Like I 0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:31.800 shouldn't blame myself, but there is a part of me 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:36.280 that is smart and can put my foot down and 0:14:36.360 --> 0:14:40.040 has a power and it has a voice to actually 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:43.960 like step up for my sister. And I think for me, 0:14:44.160 --> 0:14:46.000 like that's all I really wanted to do, and I 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:48.560 have done. I know that I have. But at the 0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:52.400 same time, these services are the ones that it should 0:14:52.440 --> 0:14:54.560 be putting, should be the ones that are showing up 0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:57.640 and stepping up, and I just don't think they are. 0:14:57.760 --> 0:15:00.400 I think they're actually taking advantage and taking that absolute 0:15:00.480 --> 0:15:01.280 fucking Piers. 0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:04.400 Do you think that if the inquest was to continue 0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:08.160 that there would be that accountability that you're looking for, 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:10.320 or do you think that one of the main reasons 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:12.520 you probably ended it was because you saw that probably 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:13.320 wasn't going to happen. 0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:17.640 No, I actually think if I had the more capacity, 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:22.080 and I guess more more emotional capacity, and I guess 0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:25.320 a little bit more like legal knowledge, I one hundred 0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:30.400 percent think that I would be keeping these organizations accountable. 0:15:30.400 --> 0:15:34.440 Like I think the the negligence in terms of getting 0:15:34.480 --> 0:15:38.160 her death wrong and actually emailing that to our family 0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:41.160 just goes to show that they have no fucking clue. 0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:42.360 They have no way did you. 0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:44.800 Mean by death wrong? If you don't mind me asking. 0:15:44.640 --> 0:15:46.920 They put the wrong day, They had no call, they 0:15:46.960 --> 0:15:49.080 had no cause of death, they had no idea of 0:15:49.120 --> 0:15:49.960 course of death. 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:50.600 When she died. 0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:53.720 They just just sent an email of being like she's 0:15:53.760 --> 0:15:57.000 passed away and passed around this day, and it was wrong. 0:15:57.120 --> 0:15:59.840 And I had to contact the police constable who was 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:03.960 she and judy in that case to get the correct details. 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:06.040 And then so when I called them out for it, 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:09.640 obviously there was an apology over email, but it's like, well, 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:13.440 who knows what? And then why you why do you 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:15.520 not know where she is? And why do you not 0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:18.520 know where she's passed when she's passed away? You guys 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:22.160 are responsibilel like this. The public trustee is responsible for 0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:26.040 managing her funds, but they also managing her accommodation. Why 0:16:26.160 --> 0:16:29.560 was she living on the street. So this is my concern, 0:16:29.720 --> 0:16:36.040 especially during COVID, like it's peak winter. The fucked thing 0:16:36.080 --> 0:16:39.760 for me as well was that my sister passed away 0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:43.160 at Yagan Square and I was pissed off at Channel 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:47.640 ten because they blew up this massive fucking promotional photo 0:16:47.720 --> 0:16:50.160 of me right in the middle of Yagan Square. 0:16:51.280 --> 0:16:54.359 Wow. Wow, My sister. 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:57.920 Died in September and The Bachelor didn't air until like 0:16:58.080 --> 0:17:02.080 mid October. They had plenty of time to change those 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:05.440 dates and that option, and they didn't. They decide, Oh, 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:08.200 like Brook won't care. Do you know how like how 0:17:08.280 --> 0:17:10.720 fuck that is? Like mentally like to think about that, 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:15.280 Like so I'm fine. I guess in terms of like 0:17:15.400 --> 0:17:17.600 how much I've done, and I can always open that 0:17:17.680 --> 0:17:21.320 inquiry later if I ever feel like I do have capacity. 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:24.120 And you know, I think I'm learning so much more 0:17:24.160 --> 0:17:29.000 about who's responsible for what and also makes me so 0:17:29.080 --> 0:17:34.600 passionate about the services that we have available. Yes, they're 0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:36.639 all sort of funded by government. And then we have 0:17:36.680 --> 0:17:39.520 a change of politician and then those funding you know, 0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:43.399 bodies get their money sort of gets scrapped, and then 0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:46.040 I guess that's the lack of care that happens because 0:17:46.960 --> 0:17:50.440 without money, you kind offer a service pretty much, right, Yeah. 0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:53.120 And I think for me, like that's the fuck thing 0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:56.360 in the government is there's no consistency. And I think 0:17:56.400 --> 0:17:58.960 the grassroots programs that we develop that actually have the 0:17:58.960 --> 0:18:05.800 most impact direct because they're so like easily dismissed, then 0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:08.600 they don't realize like the impact that they have on 0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:11.239 the vulnerable people that are accessing those services. And it 0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:15.000 makes me so frustrated because I've seen it like so directly, 0:18:15.160 --> 0:18:17.919 Like I've actually when I worked in the governing bodies, 0:18:17.960 --> 0:18:19.840 when I worked for not for profits, when I worked 0:18:19.880 --> 0:18:24.479 for community service, Like I've seen the change and the 0:18:24.520 --> 0:18:29.560 impact basically immediately, Like we've had to pretty much close 0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:33.720 programs and we've had kids accessing that and families accessing 0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:36.159 that because we've had to close those programs. Now they 0:18:36.240 --> 0:18:38.640 have no access to anything that we're providing them. 0:18:39.040 --> 0:18:41.359 So where do they seek that? Like where do they 0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:41.960 go next? 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:44.840 And I think that's what I get so frustrated. And 0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:47.719 I guess was like their motivation and the sort of 0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:50.840 like you know, fire my belly to just kind of 0:18:50.880 --> 0:18:55.280 pursue this. And in an ideal world, I would do, 0:18:55.480 --> 0:18:57.159 you know, do it all over again, and I would 0:18:57.359 --> 0:19:00.280 you know, be able to you know, ride the whole 0:19:00.400 --> 0:19:02.200 right way through until I feel like I've got the 0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:05.600 right justice or you know, I'm keeping the right people accountable. 0:19:05.720 --> 0:19:08.840 But yeah, right now, I just had to really make it, 0:19:09.480 --> 0:19:12.000 I guess, a selfish decision. 0:19:13.119 --> 0:19:15.160 But in a way, it's so I think it's selfish. 0:19:15.960 --> 0:19:21.399 I'm doing it because I'm not capable, Like I'm doing 0:19:21.440 --> 0:19:24.199 it because I need to do a film and I 0:19:24.280 --> 0:19:27.800 need to have full capacity, so I have to like 0:19:28.960 --> 0:19:33.600 drop off these things to be like full. But it's 0:19:33.640 --> 0:19:35.840 all for me, like I don't have to do this film, 0:19:36.080 --> 0:19:39.000 like I'm doing it because I want to, of course, 0:19:39.680 --> 0:19:42.240 and it's a great opportunity, but I don't have. 0:19:42.160 --> 0:19:42.720 To do it. 0:19:42.920 --> 0:19:45.160 But I'm choosing that, and I feel like making those 0:19:45.240 --> 0:19:47.159 choices are really hard because I'm choosing to do the 0:19:47.200 --> 0:19:52.080 film over you know, finding justice for my sister, I guess, 0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:54.640 and that's conflicting for me, Like it makes me feel 0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:58.520 a bit like ikey and I feel like I have 0:19:58.720 --> 0:20:01.960 had to make these choices more more consistent. 0:20:02.040 --> 0:20:02.359 Now. 0:20:02.480 --> 0:20:05.919 I don't know if I'm in a very selfish place 0:20:06.000 --> 0:20:09.359 in my life or I'm just I'm having to choose 0:20:09.400 --> 0:20:11.439 me and it feels just not comfortable. 0:20:11.480 --> 0:20:13.199 I don't know. I haven't really accepted that. 0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:16.400 I haven't really like sat with that, I guess because 0:20:16.520 --> 0:20:18.600 people always say that, like, oh, just you know, put 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:21.919 yourself first and choose you. And I'm like, everything that 0:20:21.960 --> 0:20:24.200 I do has come to like support my family, and 0:20:24.920 --> 0:20:27.720 they're fine, they're doing well, I know, but like you know, 0:20:29.520 --> 0:20:32.000 now I'm like, Okay, well, I don't know how to look. 0:20:32.040 --> 0:20:35.280 I don't think it's how to look self preservation. I 0:20:35.320 --> 0:20:37.760 think you need to be the best version of yourself 0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:40.639 so that you can live a happy and fulfilled life. 0:20:41.000 --> 0:20:43.960 I think that so much of what we see is 0:20:44.000 --> 0:20:46.160 why people need help is because they haven't been able 0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:48.400 to do that in their own lives. So for you 0:20:48.480 --> 0:20:51.080 to do that for yourself, it's super important. You know, 0:20:51.200 --> 0:20:54.560 you can't allow that idea of that it's selfish for 0:20:54.640 --> 0:20:56.760 you to want to be happy and to live in 0:20:57.160 --> 0:21:00.439 a good life. I feel like it's self preservation and 0:21:00.480 --> 0:21:03.520 if anyone needs that, it's bloody you, Like you really 0:21:04.080 --> 0:21:07.000 deserve that as well. So I wanted to ask you 0:21:07.000 --> 0:21:11.240 about closure because you didn't get the answers, right, I 0:21:11.280 --> 0:21:14.360 didn't get the answers. Is there any sense of closure 0:21:14.400 --> 0:21:17.919 that comes with closing this case right now or do 0:21:17.920 --> 0:21:19.640 you think that's something that will come in the future. 0:21:23.400 --> 0:21:25.600 I think both In a weird way. 0:21:25.680 --> 0:21:28.639 I think there have been moments throughout this inquiry that 0:21:28.720 --> 0:21:31.120 I have received a lot of closure. Like I think 0:21:31.600 --> 0:21:34.520 knowing that the person, you know, the security guard who 0:21:34.520 --> 0:21:38.200 had found my sister, he gave him his absolutely all 0:21:38.640 --> 0:21:41.520 to resuscitate her and to bring her back to life 0:21:41.520 --> 0:21:45.720 from what the report says, and you know, he actually, 0:21:46.520 --> 0:21:49.320 you know, reported and documented that he checked on her 0:21:49.440 --> 0:21:52.080 a few times actually before and she was breathing and 0:21:52.119 --> 0:21:54.359 she was fine, and it wasn't until the last time 0:21:54.400 --> 0:21:55.440 that he was like, oh. 0:21:55.320 --> 0:21:56.879 I'm just going to go check it again. 0:21:57.240 --> 0:21:59.960 We'll check her again, and that he noticed that, you know, 0:22:00.119 --> 0:22:05.320 she was unconscious and not breathing. And so I just think, 0:22:05.359 --> 0:22:08.240