Speaker 1: I'll get our team hope you bloody terrific. This is
Speaker 1: part two of the conversation between Josh Pittterman and Bianca
Speaker 1: Chatfield and myself from behind the mask Josh's show. We're
Speaker 1: doing a bit of a co share here on the
Speaker 1: You Project. This is part two. If you haven't enjoyed,
Speaker 1: if you haven't enjoyed, if you haven't listened apart one,
Speaker 1: you might want to backtrack, but it probably doesn't matter
Speaker 1: because they're different topics and different conversations. But anyway, here's
Speaker 1: the second bit. Enjoy You know what's interesting about what
Speaker 1: the ankle was talking about, which was that kind of
Speaker 1: three sixty feedback that you were talking about, which is
Speaker 1: where they sit in front of a group that's really
Speaker 1: rooted in so when we think about how we think
Speaker 1: and why we think the way that we do. You
Speaker 1: and I have spoken about this hanging out. It's called
Speaker 1: metacognition is thinking about thinking and then so that's a
Speaker 1: real area of psychology, is thinking about how you think
Speaker 1: and why you think the way that you do. This
Speaker 1: is a real self awareness door opening where you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is what I'm thinking and feeling. Now, why what
Speaker 1: does this thought come from. Where does this story come from?
Speaker 1: Does it serve me or sabotage me? Is it based
Speaker 1: in fear? Does it make sense? Right? And then the
Speaker 1: next layer up in the self awareness kind of pyramid
Speaker 1: from there is called theory of mind, which is you
Speaker 1: understanding how other people think. So that's the you understanding
Speaker 1: your teammates. And it's not about agreeing or an aligning
Speaker 1: or condoning. It's just understanding. Like when I work without
Speaker 1: X and alcoholics, which I do, I understand them well
Speaker 1: now because I've done it a lot, but I've never
Speaker 1: had drugs and I've never had booze. So for me,
Speaker 1: it was a matter of trying to understand their version
Speaker 1: of life and their version of reality.
Speaker 2: And addict to not having it. Yeah, so you understand
Speaker 2: that from the sure.
Speaker 1: But when you understand, like how someone else thinks, it's
Speaker 1: almost like you learn their language. It's like I know
Speaker 1: how to speak which is my dad, and I know
Speaker 1: how to speak Mary, which is my mum. But if
Speaker 1: I speak Ron to Mary, it doesn't work, and vice versa,
Speaker 1: because I know how Dad thinks, I know how mum thinks.
Speaker 1: I know how athletes think. But also I know even
Speaker 1: when I was working with you know, Melbourne Phoenix and Vixen's.
Speaker 1: For a minute, Bianca was different to other athletes, and
Speaker 1: so what I could say to her I couldn't say
Speaker 1: to someone else. So if I wanted the same outcome,
Speaker 1: I might need two strategies. And I think one of
Speaker 1: the mistakes that we make in high performance broadly and
Speaker 1: the pursuit of success, is that we think there's a
Speaker 1: three step plan. So when people go to me, what's
Speaker 1: the best way to X y Z, I go for who, though,
Speaker 1: because the best way because my best career path would
Speaker 1: be your worst. My best diet, you know, I ate
Speaker 1: two meals a day, breakfast and dinner. But would I
Speaker 1: recommend that for you, I would not, because you're not me.
Speaker 1: You don't have my body sixty, you don't have my physiology,
Speaker 1: you know. And so it's trying to figure out because
Speaker 1: you think about the fact that one, our body is
Speaker 1: always telling us something, it's a biofeedback system. And two,
Speaker 1: if we go think of our life as an ongoing
Speaker 1: experiment and equals one and you're the experimenter and you're
Speaker 1: the experiment you well, we're always producing data. And if
Speaker 1: we turn down the emotion. I know I sound like
Speaker 1: a PhD student. But if you turn down the emotion
Speaker 1: and try and figure out what is my life telling me,
Speaker 1: what are my results telling me, what is my body
Speaker 1: telling me, what's my career telling me, what's my bank
Speaker 1: balance telling me? And trying to do that with real
Speaker 1: awareness and humility and real curiosity, like, actually, what is that?
Speaker 1: You know? Like when people go what's her problem, they
Speaker 1: don't really want an answer. They're not really saying, what
Speaker 1: is her problem? What is her story? What's happened? How
Speaker 1: can I help? Really that's an insult. What's her problem?
Speaker 1: It's like she's an idiot. You must all say the
Speaker 1: same thing. And so that opening that door on trying
Speaker 1: to understand yourself. And the tricky thing with self analysis
Speaker 1: is that you're trying to analyze the contents of your
Speaker 1: mind with your mind. You know, you're thinking about your
Speaker 1: own thinking with your own thinking. And so going through life,
Speaker 1: I think realizing that we are looking at whatever it
Speaker 1: is situation, conversation, challenge, sporting career, singing, career, we're looking
Speaker 1: at everything through the Josh lens or the craiglens or
Speaker 1: the Bianca lens. And having that awareness like realizing that
Speaker 1: you lack awareness is like the beginning of awareness. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: It's like recognizing your unconsciousness is the beginning of consciousness,
Speaker 1: you know. And it's I think, and this is deep,
Speaker 1: but I think it's that intersection of sociology and psychology
Speaker 1: and spirituality where the good stuff happens, not one or
Speaker 1: the other, all of it, and philosophy, philosophy and even physiology,
Speaker 1: because there's a physiological consequence to a thought. If you
Speaker 1: think you're in danger but you're not well, stuff happens
Speaker 1: in your body, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we talk a lot about this expansion of awareness
Speaker 2: on the show, and really, I think we talk about
Speaker 2: it because that is what is behind the mask and
Speaker 2: at a spiritual level behind you know, if the mask
Speaker 2: is the roles we play, the thoughts we have and
Speaker 2: all these sort of things, there is a space beyond that,
Speaker 2: and that space is awareness. But once we have that awareness,
Speaker 2: it's not about going I've got to ditch the mask.
Speaker 2: In fact, to pull on the thread of what you
Speaker 2: were talking about with Mary and Royan and Bianca. It's
Speaker 2: about going, Ah, I can put on a little thin
Speaker 2: mask here that serves this conversation, and so we know
Speaker 2: how to be a chameleon in certain ways or wear
Speaker 2: these different masks for different engagements that we have because
Speaker 2: it serves it. But we're doing it through awareness, not
Speaker 2: through I'm just going to people. Please, I'm just gonna
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna do this for this person, this person,
Speaker 2: and you're just sort of it's it's unconscious master, and
Speaker 2: there's this this different thing. Guys. I want to shoot
Speaker 2: back to a topic that has been plowing through my head, which.
Speaker 3: Is another p.
Speaker 2: Which is that you talked about growing up in this thing,
Speaker 2: about being you know, six foot two, and what that
Speaker 2: that was like for you and Craig. You talked about
Speaker 2: growing up and being a beast kid.
Speaker 1: What are you laughing at? You're literally laughing. I've heard
Speaker 1: that therapy.
Speaker 4: I've heard the best story so many times and it
Speaker 4: just makes me laugh because I love how he tells.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I want to. I want to. I want
Speaker 2: to hear this because our listeners, you know, might might
Speaker 2: not know your stories and and how these sort.
Speaker 3: Of should I leave in this moment?
Speaker 2: No, no, you be here. You know your need for this? Sure? Yeah?
Speaker 2: How these you know? Because I've had physical stuff too,
Speaker 2: that's really yeah, really it really affected me as well,
Speaker 2: you know, I speak about it in last week's episode.
Speaker 2: So yeah, how do these physical attributes play into your
Speaker 2: feeling of not enoughness? And how that not not enoughness is,
Speaker 2: which is really an epidemic at the moment, plays into
Speaker 2: Abbia that the idea that I can't be successful because
Speaker 2: I'm inherently not enough because of the way I am.
Speaker 2: Did you guys have these sort of shame stories around
Speaker 2: your your physical appearance?
Speaker 1: Jumpo. I will say, though, I wasn't really bullied, and
Speaker 1: that sounds really no.
Speaker 2: So where does jumbo come from that?
Speaker 1: I know that sounds like bullying, but like my mates
Speaker 1: call me jumbo. Really some of the teachers call me jumbo.
Speaker 1: My coaches call me Jumbo. Yeah, Like, for me, it
Speaker 1: wasn't it. There was more other stuff, like within the
Speaker 1: context of my friends and family, there was no obviously
Speaker 1: no bullying, but you know there was obviously like I
Speaker 1: was a big kid, like I was probably thirty thirty
Speaker 1: five kilos overweight, so I wasn't a little bit chubby
Speaker 1: like I was. I was obese, and so there were
Speaker 1: consequences of that, But it was more that I just
Speaker 1: hated how I looked and felt and I knew that.
Speaker 1: And I mean, like when you're fourteen, it the biggest
Speaker 1: thing in your life is the biggest thing in your life,
Speaker 1: Like you know what I mean. It's like you don't
Speaker 1: like looking back now at what I understand to be
Speaker 1: real problems, you know, and what is going on in
Speaker 1: the world. I look up back at, you know, fat
Speaker 1: little me, and I'm like, well, really, in the overall
Speaker 1: scheme of things, that was nothing, but you don't know that,
Speaker 1: you know. So for me, there was just psychological, sociological, emotional,
Speaker 1: and you know, physiological kind of crap that intersected. And
Speaker 1: I hate to bankle with this, but for me, it
Speaker 1: came to a head at the year eight swimming sports,
Speaker 1: which was where I really every time the swimming sports happened.
Speaker 1: I went to a private boys' school. We had to swim,
Speaker 1: we had participate, didn't matter if you're the best or
Speaker 1: the worst. Everyone swims, everyone runs on sports day. And
Speaker 1: so every time it was my turn to swim, like
Speaker 1: my event would come because you know, they had group
Speaker 1: A through to group whatever H me and I would
Speaker 1: go and I would hide, so I would literally go
Speaker 1: somewhere so I couldn't be found and just make up
Speaker 1: some crap like I wasn't feeling well or whatever. So
Speaker 1: the event would come and go and I would miss it.
Speaker 1: And this particular year, my sports teacher was kind of
Speaker 1: onto it and he grabbed me before I headed off.
Speaker 1: I headed off, he grabbed me and said, you got
Speaker 1: to swim. And so I remember standing up there. I
Speaker 1: was fourteen, it was year eight s Paul's Gatholic College.
Speaker 1: It's Algon, and no one did anything wrong, like nobody
Speaker 1: was but I remember having to stand up there on
Speaker 1: the swimming block and there was I don't know all
Speaker 1: the school, So what's that six seven hundred kids and
Speaker 1: a bunch of parents and a bunch of teachers, maybe
Speaker 1: a thousand people. And this sounds ridiculous, but I just
Speaker 1: remember being absolutely beyond my imagination humiliated and embarrassed and shamed,
Speaker 1: and so that that was horrible, but it was also
Speaker 1: the catalyst. It's like I came home and I went
Speaker 1: for a run. I've never been. I'd never been for
Speaker 1: a run. And when I say run, I covered five
Speaker 1: k's and four of it was walking, but I walked, jog, walked, jogged,
Speaker 1: and literally from that day, within four months, I lost
Speaker 1: thirty kilos from that day. Yeah, because I offer I
Speaker 1: think that sometimes that real psychological, emotional, behavioral, and practical
Speaker 1: shift happens off the back of an event like something, Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's an inner switch that turns on or flicks or
Speaker 1: a light bulbile, whatever metaphor we want to use. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I just went, not, that's I'm never doing that again.
Speaker 1: That's never happening again. I'm never nuh And I just
Speaker 1: went it didn't matter. So I literally halved my food
Speaker 1: and I just ran every day. I didn't I had
Speaker 1: no idea what I was doing. I didn't know how
Speaker 1: to train, but it push up sit ups and ran.
Speaker 1: That's what I did. And then when I could then
Speaker 1: I was light enough and strong enough to do chins.
Speaker 1: I incorporated chins and that I did push up sit
Speaker 1: ups chins run on repeat three hundred and sixty five
Speaker 1: days of the year. I became an absolute maniac.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you went the total.
Speaker 1: I went from yeah, like completely unhealthy and unfit to obsessed.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I did the same the same thing, and
Speaker 2: they had to, you know, work through that relationship. But
Speaker 2: it also sparked like how interesting that that that sparked
Speaker 2: a whole career around yeah, fitness and health and bodybuilding
Speaker 2: and all sorts of stuff, but it also in helping yourself,
Speaker 2: even though extreme, it led you to a path of helping. Yes,
Speaker 2: And that's a beautiful sort of synergy and story in
Speaker 2: it or the book end of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, something really good came out of it. And
Speaker 1: it was good because I mean, I was obsessive, and
Speaker 1: I was insecure, and I had low self esteem and
Speaker 1: big ego and all of those things. And I got
Speaker 1: the like the burger with the emotional burger with the lot,
Speaker 1: and I got my sense of self and from what
Speaker 1: I looked like. And then by the time I was
Speaker 1: fifteen sixteen, I looked relatively good compared to the previous version.
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, you're not socially invisible.
Speaker 1: Then you get a girlfriend, then you can actually run,
Speaker 1: and you get picked for sporting teams, and so that's
Speaker 1: the good. But the bad is you then correlate this,
Speaker 1: Oh well, if I look like this, I get these outcomes.
Speaker 1: If I look a bit better and run a bit better,
Speaker 1: and I get the there's like this, you know, linear correlation.
Speaker 1: When this goes better, that goes better, And then you think, well,
Speaker 1: imagine if I was an absolute freak, you know, and
Speaker 1: so you start to look for everything I did anyway
Speaker 1: through my body. So I created this real unhealthy relationship
Speaker 1: with my body where I didn't know where it finished
Speaker 1: and I started.
Speaker 2: And this is where the yeah, going back to the
Speaker 2: mask and the ego, really, it's where when we when
Speaker 2: we when we feed it, that that stuff, it takes
Speaker 2: on a life of its own, and it's very becomes very,
Speaker 2: very thick, and it's very hard to have that self
Speaker 2: awareness or to crack into that space of a selfhonness
Speaker 2: to see that within yourself because you know this, this
Speaker 2: is just what happens to sar when we get when
Speaker 2: we do that, the thing that you're doing is getting
Speaker 2: getting hotter, getting more money, getting the bigger house, and
Speaker 2: we get fed the compliment, we get another pay rise,
Speaker 2: and it just keeps feeding, it feeds that. Yeah, the
Speaker 2: addiction feeds are not enoughness epidem.
Speaker 3: I honestly think it's a thing for everyone.
Speaker 4: I reckon if everyone dug deep on what controls them
Speaker 4: or what motivates them or what you know, feels like
Speaker 4: it has to be an obsession for them to just
Speaker 4: kind of navigate through life. I reckon when I look
Speaker 4: back at my career, the worst thing that I did,
Speaker 4: in the worst trait that I had was comparing myself
Speaker 4: to other people because not really, yes, I understood my
Speaker 4: body to a certain degree, but you're constantly getting that feedback.
Speaker 4: And we spoke how that feedback can be really good,
Speaker 4: but you're constantly getting that feedback about you need to
Speaker 4: be fitter, you need to be stronger, you need to
Speaker 4: be leaner, and you're hearing that all the time because
Speaker 4: people are wanting you to be the best high performance
Speaker 4: athlete you can be, and you play the best you
Speaker 4: can possibly be when you're out there. And I think
Speaker 4: I got really caught in that negative spiral of looking
Speaker 4: to the person next to me who had a totally
Speaker 4: different body but might have, you know, played a great game,
Speaker 4: and I'd be like, oh, she's leaner, faster, stronger.
Speaker 3: How am I going to do that?
Speaker 4: And rather than it took me a lot long time
Speaker 4: to really be narrowed down for me what I needed
Speaker 4: and what my body needed and how I could look
Speaker 4: after my body and train my body rather than trying
Speaker 4: to be like somebody else. And you know, I was
Speaker 4: in the Aussie team, and I was still comparing myself
Speaker 4: to everybody else because you have this pressure on you
Speaker 4: and you're at selections to make the team. And I
Speaker 4: was a defender, and so you'd look at all the
Speaker 4: other defenders who might have been playing better or getting
Speaker 4: a start over you, and you were just analyzing them
Speaker 4: about what it was that they had over you. And
Speaker 4: once I think I could strip all that back, and
Speaker 4: you surrounded yourself with good people like Craigo, with someone
Speaker 4: for me who i'd always go to and be like, oh,
Speaker 4: I just download everything and say this is what it's
Speaker 4: like and how am I going to get like this?
Speaker 3: And you know, he would know.
Speaker 4: What my body needed and help me with my body
Speaker 4: and not compare myself to everybody else. But that's what
Speaker 4: I really struggled with. I'm not a naturally gifted, freakish athlete.
Speaker 4: I had to train my ass off to be fit
Speaker 4: enough to play at that level. But where it got
Speaker 4: scary for me, I think was I would overtrain and
Speaker 4: I ended up with things like my injuries ended up
Speaker 4: being things like having glandular fever. And because my body
Speaker 4: and my health I could, I couldn't cope with how
Speaker 4: much pressure I was trying.
Speaker 2: To put on it. Yeah, that's the body telling you
Speaker 2: to start.
Speaker 4: Yeah, stop, like just calm down. And so over the years,
Speaker 4: and I had seventeen years in athlete life, and my
Speaker 4: last probably four or five is probably when I felt
Speaker 4: like I was in such a calmer place where I
Speaker 4: knew that I was in this team because of what
Speaker 4: I brought to the table, not because of you know,
Speaker 4: how I needed to change or who else I needed
Speaker 4: to be like or look like that I could still
Speaker 4: get the job done with my body.
Speaker 2: So comparison, which is the thief so evil, thief of joy, Yeah,
Speaker 2: it was. Yeah, that's like diminished, that dissolved, and that's
Speaker 2: part of the reason why those last half decade was.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, definitely, and I think it's still always there,
Speaker 4: but I'm now far more aware. When you go back
Speaker 4: to that whole self awareness piece, I'm far more aware
Speaker 4: when I'm doing it. And if I generally like to
Speaker 4: be a positive person, I'm generally a positive person and
Speaker 4: quite optimistic, but I can really tell when I start
Speaker 4: to start thinking negatively and start even if I'm speaking negatively,
Speaker 4: I'm like, what am I doing right now That's making
Speaker 4: me like this, and I always know it's because I
Speaker 4: have been thinking about something that I've been comparing myself
Speaker 4: to or yeah, in some way I've been caught in
Speaker 4: that track and then I spiral into this negative space
Speaker 4: and I just know you can never have a positive
Speaker 4: life with a negative mind, right. It's really the more
Speaker 4: positive you can be, or the more you know optimistic
Speaker 4: you are, the easier it is to find the answer
Speaker 4: and find a solution. And so I, yeah, it's a
Speaker 4: big cue for me when I get into that negative
Speaker 4: spra and you know, especially when I'm around other negative
Speaker 4: people that like to throw out the negatives first before
Speaker 4: the positives.
Speaker 3: I'm like, well, get me out of here.
Speaker 4: And I've become a lot strong with my boundaries around
Speaker 4: who around that, you know, take that away from you.
Speaker 2: Comparison is a space of negativity, you know, because it's
Speaker 2: it's a negative self talk, really, and I think we
Speaker 2: can and I've been in times early on in my
Speaker 2: career where comparison did help me to succeed. It helped
Speaker 2: be the driver to go I'm not good enough on it.
Speaker 2: But it's never lasting.
Speaker 4: It fuels that competitiveness to a point, doesn't it.
Speaker 2: But you can always play the game of the someone
Speaker 2: who is better than me and you're and so it
Speaker 2: feeds the not enoughness thing. It feeds a self loathing
Speaker 2: and you know, and a negative and negative spiral.
Speaker 4: And then you never actually acknowledging or you know, congratulating
Speaker 4: yourself on the little milestones that you make or the
Speaker 4: little things that you do, because it's never like what
Speaker 4: the other person did.
Speaker 2: Or you're never enoughenough with comparison. I think it's it's
Speaker 2: a shocker.
Speaker 1: I want to know for both you, the idea of success,
Speaker 1: Like when you were heading towards like I want to be,
Speaker 1: you know, want to be on the stage on a
Speaker 1: global level, and you were on the journey, but you
Speaker 1: weren't there and you were aspiring to get there. Then
Speaker 1: you got there and you were a sixteen year old
Speaker 1: netballer who maybe wanted to play for Australia who ended
Speaker 1: up being all of the things you were. What's the
Speaker 1: gap between what you thought it would be and what
Speaker 1: it was like when you got there? Did it feel
Speaker 1: like you thought it would feel?
Speaker 2: Yes and no is the answer. What I didn't realize
Speaker 2: growing up. I had big dreams and I always dream big.
Speaker 2: It costs the same amount of energy to have the
Speaker 2: thought of or have the dream of the stars and
Speaker 2: the moon as it does to you know, the top
Speaker 2: of the tin shed, So dream big, but also between
Speaker 2: where you are in that dream, as we talked about earlier,
Speaker 2: is a hell of a lot of hard work and
Speaker 2: a hell of a lot of sacrifice and so and
Speaker 2: that's that's been the word really for me. It's you
Speaker 2: can have what you can potentially have in a first
Speaker 2: world privilege, you know, whatever, You can potentially have everything
Speaker 2: you want, but you cannot have everything you want at
Speaker 2: the same time. And so getting to the top of
Speaker 2: the mountains for me, which were playing Phantom and Fanta
Speaker 2: the opera, playing Jean Valjean and Lami Is in London,
Speaker 2: they were the dreams of sixteen seventeen year old for me,
Speaker 2: and to realize them twenty years later, Yes, I sit
Speaker 2: with that pride of congratulations and for myself and not
Speaker 2: not just a pat on the back, but a really
Speaker 2: really long hug and a few tears. Yeah to that
Speaker 2: sixteen year old self who put those dreams out there.
Speaker 2: I knew it was going to take a lot of
Speaker 2: hard work, and I was prepared for the hard work
Speaker 2: I've never been afraid of discipline and hard work. I've
Speaker 2: grew up really sporty person. I know what that's like
Speaker 2: to have that athlete mental. I wasn't aware of how
Speaker 2: fucking taxing it would be on me, how exhausting. I
Speaker 2: wasn't aware of how much I would appease and plicate
Speaker 2: and try and make other people happy, to try and
Speaker 2: you know, make things happen for myself, say no to
Speaker 2: things like you know, between doing Phantom and lame Is,
Speaker 2: I had a week off. I needed three months off.
Speaker 2: I was that exhausted. But I didn't want to not
Speaker 2: have the opportunity. I didn't want those in positions of
Speaker 2: power to say, Honor, we'll get someone else. He's not
Speaker 2: going to get to do it. I didn't want to
Speaker 2: lose the dream. So I sacrificed my own self and
Speaker 2: what I needed, Yeah, what I really needed to appease others.
Speaker 2: I didn't realize I do that. But then I've sacrificed
Speaker 2: relationships and the quality of relationships because I've been really
Speaker 2: selfish and really self motivate and self centered. In my
Speaker 2: career has had to be about me, or I've felt
Speaker 2: like it's had to be about me to be able
Speaker 2: to achieve things in the way I want to achieve,
Speaker 2: so really sacrifice them. I've sacrificed time with family that
Speaker 2: I really really value now, I've sacrificed really important things
Speaker 2: with friends, milestones, births of babies, you know, bucks, weekends
Speaker 2: and just memories that are created. And so ultimately, when
Speaker 2: you look at the view from the top, there's a
Speaker 2: part of it that is magical because I'm feeling the
Speaker 2: feelings of playing those roles and there's nothing like that.
Speaker 2: But I'm also part of it that is there's a
Speaker 2: sadness in it too because I've missed out on so
Speaker 2: many things and in playing those roles, the only way
Speaker 2: I could do it was really to be a monk.
Speaker 2: So I didn't have a social life living in London.
Speaker 2: I wasn't having a social life with my friends back home.
Speaker 2: So when I look at it, it's going, yeah, it's fantastic,
Speaker 2: and it's also cost a lot, and so it's not
Speaker 2: what I thought. I only thought about the positive things,
Speaker 2: and those positive things I felt them and more, you know,
Speaker 2: ten ten x. Nothing is like playing Jean Valjean or
Speaker 2: the Phantom. That feeling of playing those or when you're
Speaker 2: there is nothing and talk about that feeling of bliss
Speaker 2: that I was talking about that and under it is
Speaker 2: that on roids, But what it costs me for the
Speaker 2: other twenty one hours of the day is a hell
Speaker 2: of a lot of sacrifice.
Speaker 1: What about you the idea versus the reality?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I often hear other athletes say this,
Speaker 4: and especially at the recent Olympics. Most people say this
Speaker 4: when they win their goal better and it's exactly what
Speaker 4: I felt was that when you finally do it and
Speaker 4: as a team you achieved that success that you thought
Speaker 4: you wanted so much, it's just a huge amount of
Speaker 4: relief that you actually have done it, that you can
Speaker 4: tick it off. I've done it, But you're exhausted by
Speaker 4: it and you often have these big come down afterwards
Speaker 4: because you no longer have that same connection with everybody
Speaker 4: that you're doing it together, and you're trying to work
Speaker 4: through what you're going to get to, you know, get
Speaker 4: to that final game to win that gold medal or
Speaker 4: win that premiership, and then it becomes quite overwhelming. I
Speaker 4: think the exhaustion of it all exactly what you were
Speaker 4: talking about, that the cost of it all to drive
Speaker 4: you to that success. And when I reflect on the
Speaker 4: moments that I remember most from my career, it is
Speaker 4: never the moments of when you actually win it, or
Speaker 4: the moments of getting your medal or you know, the
Speaker 4: premiership celebrations. You remember the dumb moments that happen as
Speaker 4: a team, when you're preparing, when you're in the change rooms,
Speaker 4: when you're being as you know, immature, with everybody mucking
Speaker 4: around it. They're the special moments that you really love.
Speaker 4: But the version of success that when you finally get there,
Speaker 4: I think, yeah, for me, it was always just really oh,
Speaker 4: I can stop banging on about that and you know,
Speaker 4: wanting to get that because I finally got it. And
Speaker 4: it takes your while to then find that next driver
Speaker 4: that's going to take you forward, what's going to actually
Speaker 4: allow you to put all that energy and effort into something.
Speaker 4: It takes a while to kind of sort that out.
Speaker 4: I think within my own body what I want to
Speaker 4: do next and what I'm prepared to drive myself forward with.
Speaker 2: Did you ever take moments actually to clock that this
Speaker 2: is I'm in relief and not in celebration and actually
Speaker 2: celebrate it.
Speaker 4: Well, I think when I got to the like my
Speaker 4: last four or five years. That was when I was
Speaker 4: actually so much more aware of everything and aware that, oh,
Speaker 4: I'd really wanted to do this. I haven't been able
Speaker 4: to do this my whole career, and I've finally been
Speaker 4: able to do it and enjoy it with the people
Speaker 4: around me. But that did take to the end of
Speaker 4: my career, and I reckon. I look back now on
Speaker 4: my career as an athlete, and I'm so much more
Speaker 4: prouder of myself than what I ever was when I
Speaker 4: was in the moments, And even when I finished, it
Speaker 4: took me a few years to be like, oh, bloody hell,
Speaker 4: I did that. And now I love the fact that
Speaker 4: I've done that for myself and that I can acknowledge that,
Speaker 4: because I just don't think you ever have. Well, I
Speaker 4: didn't have the space mentally to be able to ever
Speaker 4: look at it like that, because it was always what's next,
Speaker 4: what's next?
Speaker 2: I have to do next? You regret not celebrating those
Speaker 2: moments more? Would you advise people to actually sit in
Speaker 2: the celebration.
Speaker 3: If you can.
Speaker 2: Regreat celebrating I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't regret it.
Speaker 4: I mean, I feel fortunate that I've got all these
Speaker 4: teammates who are beautiful friends of mine. We're all still
Speaker 4: so close and even now now we've gone through life
Speaker 4: of having babies and going through all and it's always
Speaker 4: your teammates, your old teammates that you go back to
Speaker 4: in those moments because they know what it's like or
Speaker 4: they've been through it before you and they passed down
Speaker 4: all their.
Speaker 3: Knowledge to you.
Speaker 4: And you know that's They're the special group of people
Speaker 4: that we always will talk about the good times that
Speaker 4: it happened and the moments that we did stuff together.
Speaker 4: So that's where I love being part of a team sport,
Speaker 4: and I have all these amazing teammates that I can
Speaker 4: continue to have those conversations in connection with.
Speaker 2: Guys, I asked you to bring in a quote. You've
Speaker 2: got a little something that you might have.
Speaker 1: A writer from the early nineenth century. Her name was Anasni,
Speaker 1: and she said, and she was I think this is
Speaker 1: in a couple of theological texts as well, but she said,
Speaker 1: we don't see things as they are, We see things
Speaker 1: as we are yea, which is really kind of in
Speaker 1: line with what we're talking about today, and especially the
Speaker 1: mind stuff.
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, it speaks to you know, what you're
Speaker 2: sort of saying about. There's there's the experience that you experience,
Speaker 2: there's experienced the other person experience, and then there's the
Speaker 2: experience itself.
Speaker 1: There's the thing that's going on which doesn't mean anything,
Speaker 1: and then there's your story about Bianca's story and my story,
Speaker 1: and they're probably three different stories.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I like that quote. For me.
Speaker 4: It probably takes me back to when I first started
Speaker 4: and I had a coach, Joyce Brown, who was an
Speaker 4: absolute legend of the network world, and she was someone
Speaker 4: who really took me under her wing and coached me
Speaker 4: as a person.
Speaker 3: And a player.
Speaker 4: She's so much she cares so much about my life
Speaker 4: away from the court as well as a player. But
Speaker 4: she always used to say and put the quote up
Speaker 4: on it in our team room, if it's to be,
Speaker 4: it's up to me. And she wasn't meaning that in
Speaker 4: a you know, it's up to you to win the
Speaker 4: game or do it. It was about it's up to
Speaker 4: you to control what you can to change, to learn
Speaker 4: to evolve. It's all on your shoulders. Don't expect anyone
Speaker 4: to come in and.
Speaker 2: Just fix it.
Speaker 3: For you to be accountable, Yeah, and just always.
Speaker 4: Be in that mindset of learning, and so yeah, I
Speaker 4: always remind myself of that, you know, even there's something
Speaker 4: that I'm expecting someone else to change for me. When
Speaker 4: I realized that, I could probably look a little bit
Speaker 4: deeper internally and figure out away myself that that's it's
Speaker 4: always up to me to have a think about that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and just to pull on that threat. I think
Speaker 2: it speaks to the idea of of accountability and blaming
Speaker 2: others for our lack of success. Oh, things not going away?
Speaker 2: How quickly we we point the finger. And it's maybe
Speaker 2: that relationship between shame and blame that you're feeling shame
Speaker 2: that it didn't work out and you don't want to
Speaker 2: take accountability that if it's up to it's meant to be,
Speaker 2: it's up to me. It's like what it was meant
Speaker 2: to be, it was turfold or yeah, and they screwed
Speaker 2: it for me. Like how quickly humans love to do that, right.
Speaker 4: Negative mindset that comes with that, and I just hate
Speaker 4: sitting in that space.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've got one. I often use a roomy quote.
Speaker 2: I do love a bit of thirteenth century Sufism. As
Speaker 2: you start to walk on the way, the way it
Speaker 2: appears and I feel like a lot as you start
Speaker 2: to walk on the way, the way appears, yes, but
Speaker 2: a lot of people don't want to walk because that
Speaker 2: first step is the thing they're most scared of. Ye
Speaker 2: and when you take that first step that leads to
Speaker 2: step two, step three, you may not have it all
Speaker 2: sorted out, you know, But if you've plotted a destination
Speaker 2: you don't, you can also ditch the map and go
Speaker 2: it may I may have different paths to get me there.
Speaker 2: But if you don't plot a destination I think, and
Speaker 2: have a goal or have a dream, it's hard, but
Speaker 2: it's even harder if you don't, if you're not willing
Speaker 2: to just take the first step. And there's such a
Speaker 2: fear barrier with that that first step. I want to
Speaker 2: sort of speak to where it's fear, you know, gotten
Speaker 2: in your way of not being able to succee.
Speaker 1: I think to that, it's like for me, it's about
Speaker 1: where am I going? What's the destination? So getting there,
Speaker 1: But really the prize is who we become getting there.
Speaker 1: It's not about the top of the mountain. It's about
Speaker 1: who you become climbing the mountain. Like you know, for me,
Speaker 1: all the stuff that I've done some good, some bad,
Speaker 1: some success, some failure. You know, fall down, fuck up,
Speaker 1: get up, all that stuff. Like, it's really about the
Speaker 1: knowledge and the insight and the skill and the understanding
Speaker 1: and the experiences that you have in the middle of that.
Speaker 1: That for me, it's like that's.
Speaker 2: The space between the first step and landing at the
Speaker 2: top of the mountain. That is Yeah, it's really the space.
Speaker 2: You know. When we had Ben Crow on, we also
Speaker 2: had called Asha Pacman on It's a great episode, but
Speaker 2: he would say, I'm sure Asha would say that from
Speaker 2: a soul's perspective, that's the space between birth and death.
Speaker 2: You know, all the stuff that's happening in the middle
Speaker 2: is the life, and that's where the dance is, That's
Speaker 2: where the enjoyment is. That's where the curiosity, the adventure,
Speaker 2: the play of it all is happening on the journey
Speaker 2: to the destination, and we're so caught up in the
Speaker 2: destination we miss the life and being alive in the middle.
Speaker 1: And I think, if you can be curious around your fear, right,
Speaker 1: So the goal is not to be fearless, because like,
Speaker 1: being fearless is stupid, because there are some things we
Speaker 1: should be scared of but that fear is going to
Speaker 1: keep you alive right at times. But we can be.
Speaker 1: In fact, we have to be scared to be courageous.
Speaker 1: If you're not scared, well there's no courage required. And
Speaker 1: so being being not controlled by fear but rather curious
Speaker 1: about fear is maybe the better paradigm to try to go, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm scared, cool, that's okay, you should be scared. That's
Speaker 1: fucking terrifying.
Speaker 2: But now what Yeah, I mean a line scared and
Speaker 2: has that that that fear when it goes to kill
Speaker 2: an antelope, and that's what that's what drives that. We
Speaker 2: need that level of it. You know, I have that
Speaker 2: bit of fear every time before poor Antelope get on stage.
Speaker 2: I think Pav already said something like if you're not
Speaker 2: if you're not scared, then it doesn't matter to you.
Speaker 2: Then you don't care. You actually need a bit of
Speaker 2: that fear.
Speaker 4: To adrenaline rush, that nervous energy. That's why that's why
Speaker 4: I love working TV now, especially live TV. It's the
Speaker 4: same adrenaline rush that you get as an athlete when
Speaker 4: you step out there onto the court. It's like, have
Speaker 4: you done your prep out? You go like it's up
Speaker 4: to you what happens next, and you.
Speaker 2: Go with your liveness and liveness of it.
Speaker 4: Well, I love it because it is like that if
Speaker 4: you've if you've done your prep, you should be able
Speaker 4: to figure your way out through no matter what happens,
Speaker 4: but also not expecting it to be perfect. It's okay
Speaker 4: if your stuff up or say the wrong thing, you
Speaker 4: just to find your way back. And I really that
Speaker 4: drives me a lot, and I love the energy from that.
Speaker 4: But I think there's not much that replicates athlete life
Speaker 4: out of outside of being an athlete, whereas live TV
Speaker 4: and that. I guess it's performing like you, you really
Speaker 4: feel that same energy and yeah, sometimes it scares the
Speaker 4: life out of you, but it's bloody fun doing it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, grenlemen, Rush, you've done some coaching in your time.
Speaker 2: You were the head coach of the Junior Neple Academy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I had in my own academy out with Victoria University.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And do you still work in a mentor and
Speaker 2: coaching space in ways?
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I work.
Speaker 4: I work a lot in the leadership space, so working
Speaker 4: with people within corporates or within teams, and a lot
Speaker 4: of the stuff that we'll talk about is around that
Speaker 4: kind of team environment and the kindness and the work
Speaker 4: around the collaborating with each other and getting the best
Speaker 4: out of what everyone can bring.
Speaker 2: To the table.
Speaker 4: That's what I do a lot of working now, and
Speaker 4: I love that space. I love working with people. Again,
Speaker 4: it's like being in that team sport environment where you
Speaker 4: just got to figure out the best way forward for
Speaker 4: that group. It doesn't always there's not one kind of
Speaker 4: mold that.
Speaker 2: Which speaks to what you were earlier, and you do
Speaker 2: a I mean, you just so much in this space.
Speaker 2: I want to having climbed mountains, and I'm curious about
Speaker 2: this because I'm in this space too, having climbed and
Speaker 2: got to the top of some really big mountains. What's
Speaker 2: the feeling like going back down the mountain and helping
Speaker 2: others get up? Which once again pulls on the threat
Speaker 2: that you were talking about, really where that first part
Speaker 2: of life is probably about us, and then life shifts
Speaker 2: and it's really you know, not what you can get
Speaker 2: from it, but what you can give to it to
Speaker 2: give to others. What does that feel like for you, guys?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean to me, like when I talk about
Speaker 4: it and I've said times the last part of my
Speaker 4: career was my best part of my career. I played better,
Speaker 4: I was a better person. I enjoyed it far more.
Speaker 4: And it's because even in that moment as an athlete,
Speaker 4: I was the older player, and I got so much
Speaker 4: pride in watching the youngest girls come into the team
Speaker 4: and do their things for the first time, play their
Speaker 4: first game, you know, get out there in a moment,
Speaker 4: and whether it's change a game the way they played
Speaker 4: or eaten opposition that maybe it'd had the best of
Speaker 4: them in the past, and.
Speaker 3: That fueled me.
Speaker 4: That energy that you got and the pride that you
Speaker 4: get from seeing someone do something well or you know
Speaker 4: that's challenged them and you've helped them work on it
Speaker 4: during the week, and just what that can really do
Speaker 4: for them. And I think when you step back and
Speaker 4: now in the workplace that you do seeing people just
Speaker 4: the light bulb moments that they might have where it's like, oh, actually,
Speaker 4: if I think that way, maybe that is going to
Speaker 4: help me. And you would get it a lot where
Speaker 4: people will come back to you and give you feedback
Speaker 4: about how that made them feel in that moment and
Speaker 4: what it's done for their trajectory, and it's not that
Speaker 4: you're changing their lives. It's just that you're get giving
Speaker 4: them one little thing that might help them be in
Speaker 4: a better space.
Speaker 1: I think if you can help and encourage people to
Speaker 1: think more of themselves, like I think most people's biggest
Speaker 1: barrier to success is literally how they think, not their potential,
Speaker 1: not their possibilities, not their genetics. You know, of course
Speaker 1: there are limitations, but you know, it's like, I'm not
Speaker 1: particularly talented. I don't have great genetics. I wasn't a
Speaker 1: brilliant academic. And it's not that I'm the high water
Speaker 1: mark now, but you know, it's like I think for
Speaker 1: some people, and you two are both even though you
Speaker 1: said you're not naturally a great athlete, you're pretty good.
Speaker 2: And I wasn't naturally a good singer.
Speaker 1: Well, I actually think I'm naturally good singer.
Speaker 3: Just actually, for.
Speaker 1: Me, mediocrity was my superpower because it made me really
Speaker 1: fucking motivated because I knew exactly I just had to
Speaker 1: work harder because if I was going to be able to, Like,
Speaker 1: we had these compulsory cross country runs every week, and
Speaker 1: obviously when I was a fat kid one hundred and
Speaker 1: thirty kids in my year. Every week I would come
Speaker 1: one hundred and thirtieth because I would walk it because
Speaker 1: I couldn't run it. And then six months later I
Speaker 1: was winning every week, week after week after week number one.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't because I was genetically great or fuck,
Speaker 1: he's an athlete, isn't he not. It's like I just
Speaker 1: ran seven days a week put in the world and
Speaker 1: so I was doing what they weren't doing. And then
Speaker 1: I started to create outcomes. And it wasn't about, oh,
Speaker 1: look at me, I'm a good runner. It was like, ah,
Speaker 1: so if I apply myself, what like, what's possible? Because
Speaker 1: my thinking was really the issue. Yeah, I didn't have
Speaker 1: great genetics, but they weren't terrible, right, And I wasn't
Speaker 1: an academic genius but not a moron. It's like, all right, well,
Speaker 1: if I take whatever I've got, whether or not that's
Speaker 1: creativity or intellect or physiology, and I put eleven out
Speaker 1: of ten effort wrapped around that, what might I create?
Speaker 1: You know? And because we're all scared, I're all dysfunctional,
Speaker 1: and we're all a bit broken, we're also a bit
Speaker 1: fucking amazing, like, but we need to let the amazing out,
Speaker 1: and fear keeps the amazing in, you know, all laziness
Speaker 1: or avoidance or procrastination or you know.
Speaker 2: Whatever, all the derivative fear correct correct.
Speaker 1: And so it's like, if I can get out of
Speaker 1: my own way, if I can I remember having this
Speaker 1: moment the first time, and I don't say this to
Speaker 1: sound anything but just grateful. Where I ran an event.
Speaker 1: It was just a me event, just Craig Harper at
Speaker 1: Deacon and six hundred and seventy people in the six
Speaker 1: hundred and seventy person room, and everyone paid to go
Speaker 1: and see me. I wasn't at someone else's event. I
Speaker 1: wasn't at a convention. It wasn't a conference, and I
Speaker 1: was one of the speakers. It was like six hundred
Speaker 1: and seventy. And I remember being blown away, like I
Speaker 1: used to be blown away that one person would pay
Speaker 1: to listen to me, you know, And then six hundred
Speaker 1: and seventy people on the sun they decided to come
Speaker 1: and listen to what I had to say, and I
Speaker 1: just remember thinking, not like ah, I good. I remember
Speaker 1: thinking this is fucking amazing. How was this a thing
Speaker 1: where this many people want to come to listen to
Speaker 1: what I have to say, you know, and in that
Speaker 1: moment it for me it was all about, ah, yeah,
Speaker 1: like I'm not terrible, I'm not the best, but I've
Speaker 1: got I've got ability, and I've got potential that I
Speaker 1: can optimize and operationalize and create some good outcomes. And
Speaker 1: so because I'm not this special human, I love working
Speaker 1: with other people who have got at least as much
Speaker 1: potential talent and genetic potential as me, and go, you
Speaker 1: know what, I actually think, if you can, if you
Speaker 1: can put in the effort and energy and courage, you'll
Speaker 1: do something fucking amazing. And when you say that and
Speaker 1: you mean it, because that that impacts them. Go, I'm
Speaker 1: not telling you this because this sounds good. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying this to inspire you. I truly think I don't
Speaker 1: know if you will, by the way, because you might
Speaker 1: be fucking lazy and you might be whatever, But I
Speaker 1: think you could do something special.
Speaker 2: So we've talked a lot about career and success. To
Speaker 2: sort of close out, I want to know in terms
Speaker 2: of a border spection of life, having you know, being
Speaker 2: in your forties and now sixty and I'm pushing forty
Speaker 2: for you guys.
Speaker 1: What what what tox of forty.
Speaker 2: What what does a more rounded life of success look like?
Speaker 2: If you go a successful rounded life look for look
Speaker 2: like for you guys.
Speaker 1: Now, I think because my life is quite a typical
Speaker 1: in that I'm not married, I don't have a partner,
Speaker 1: I don't have kids, and there ain't many sixty year
Speaker 1: olds who are like that or who have never had that.
Speaker 2: Are you wanting that?
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think she's todd in here.
Speaker 3: I mean.
Speaker 1: Got this bit. I don't not want it, you know,
Speaker 1: But it's not like on my to do list, you know.
Speaker 1: But it's like, in some ways being single is an
Speaker 1: advantage in some ways not you know, some way is
Speaker 1: the opposite. But I mean, like you, and this is
Speaker 1: no revelation, this is no massive insight, but you get
Speaker 1: to the point where you realize that really what matters
Speaker 1: is connection and love and people, and when you when
Speaker 1: you're younger, it's more more about ticking boxes and hitting
Speaker 1: KPIs and you know, ticking the to do list or whatever.
Speaker 1: Not always not everyone, of course, but for me it was.
Speaker 1: But then you know, for me, it's like I kind
Speaker 1: of have a family of people around me that I
Speaker 1: intersect with that I coach that I mentor that I encourage,
Speaker 1: that I love, and when they do great, it makes
Speaker 1: me happy, you know. So yeah, yeah, so yeah, And
Speaker 1: I don't you know, I've got old parents. My mum's
Speaker 1: eighty five in a minute, and my dad's eighty five,
Speaker 1: and you know, so things change and your priorities shift,
Speaker 1: and so most of like my priority in life right
Speaker 1: now is them, yeah, you know, and just they're you know,
Speaker 1: they're on the home straight, and just that they're as
Speaker 1: okay as they can be, and I be the best
Speaker 1: son that I can be for them, you know. And
Speaker 1: so that's like I think when you know, when people
Speaker 1: are sick or when things, you know, when you have
Speaker 1: somebody that you know. It's like my training partner literally
Speaker 1: died in the gym five years ago, Like he had
Speaker 1: a heart attack. No he didn't, he had a cardiac
Speaker 1: arrest and died. He's fine, he came back, but he
Speaker 1: was dead for seventeen minutes. And I don't mean to
Speaker 1: be melodramatic, because he's fine now. But when somebody that
Speaker 1: you love is literally dying in front of you, and
Speaker 1: you are the person, like you're the person that's going
Speaker 1: to maybe allow them to keep living or it's I
Speaker 1: didn't mean to go here anyway, but it's just what happened.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh my god, like nothing matters in the world.
Speaker 1: Like and it's amazing when when that's going on, how
Speaker 1: how much absolute clarity and focus you have about what
Speaker 1: is important and what is what isn't important? Is most
Speaker 1: of what I think is important? Do you know what
Speaker 1: I mean?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you're basically like here, I don't know if
Speaker 2: it works in about but with your relation with your
Speaker 2: parents and your action with the gym partner, it's love
Speaker 2: overrides everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And and like what you know, the insection of
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about now in a bit of science
Speaker 1: is that you know, when we talk about health, wellness,
Speaker 1: long longevity, success performance, we talk in a physical sense.
Speaker 1: We talk about you know, lifestyle and nutrition and sleep
Speaker 1: and exercise and occupational activity and incidental activity. And but
Speaker 1: now more and more we know the research tells us
Speaker 1: that may be the most important thing in terms of
Speaker 1: immune system function, health, longevity, nervous system, gut health is
Speaker 1: our social life is our relationships is if you get
Speaker 1: somebody who ticks all the other boxes, you know, great diet,
Speaker 1: great lifestyle, no boozs, no drugs. They work out all
Speaker 1: the time, but they're lonely. It's not a good recipe, yea.
Speaker 1: So love connection, there's an absolute correlation between you know,
Speaker 1: the emotional, the psychological, the sociological, and the physical consequence
Speaker 1: of all of that.
Speaker 2: So that's so having love in your life, regardless of
Speaker 2: whether it's a partner of kids, or whether or not it's.
Speaker 1: Romantic love or you know, laborador called Scooby.
Speaker 2: Doo, but you yeah, you've got lots of love in
Speaker 2: your life, and that feels like a big measure of success.
Speaker 1: And also for me, having purpose, Like the idea of
Speaker 1: retirement has zero appealed to me, and not because I'm
Speaker 1: a workaholic, but I've watched many people many retire and
Speaker 1: spiral like we have this story in our head that
Speaker 1: retirement is good. It actually it depends what retirement is,
Speaker 1: you know, if like you think about like my dad
Speaker 1: went literally from managing multi billion dollar shopping centers where
Speaker 1: he had lots of people that he was leading. He
Speaker 1: had purpose, he had meetings, he had constant conversations, problem solving,
Speaker 1: creating things. You know, on a Friday he retires and
Speaker 1: Monday his biggest project is what to watch or whether
Speaker 1: or not he's going to go look at the tomatoes.
Speaker 1: And I reckon my dad aged five years in five months. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because we need whether or not it's at work or
Speaker 1: somewhere else, we need a purpose, We need a reason,
Speaker 1: we need a thing to do, and we need to
Speaker 1: fucking keep using our brain. You know, we need to.
Speaker 1: I believe I'm very passionate about this. Like I'm sixty one,
Speaker 1: my brain works as well or better than when I
Speaker 1: was thirty. Like my cognitive function only because I do
Speaker 1: the work is right up there for my potential. But
Speaker 1: it's because I'm doing a PhD. It's because I read
Speaker 1: every day. It's because I teach every day. It's because
Speaker 1: I'm mentor every day. It's because I fucking think deeply.
Speaker 1: Like we take our body to gym, we need to
Speaker 1: take our brain to the gym and keep doing it.
Speaker 1: And if you're over fifty listening to this, even more so,
Speaker 1: do you need to do it? Train your brain lift
Speaker 1: heavy things. That's my advice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you speak to that purpose thing, and we're
Speaker 2: spoke to it in this chat. In some way, I
Speaker 2: think we basically need to ask ourselves three questions in
Speaker 2: life that I think are potentially the most important existential questions,
Speaker 2: which is who am I? We've discussed that a lot
Speaker 2: around the awareness chat what do I want to feel?
Speaker 2: You know, not just what do I want to do?
Speaker 2: What do I want to feel? And what's my what's
Speaker 2: my purpose? And I think if you can answer those things,
Speaker 2: and I think some people kin'd even answer the first one,
Speaker 2: they didn't even know who they are. But if you're
Speaker 2: can answer those three questions and and it might shift
Speaker 2: and you know, move in some in some ways. But
Speaker 2: that the three questions I think are really important to
Speaker 2: come back to often in life. And yeah, going back
Speaker 2: to the original question, what does a rounded life as
Speaker 2: success look like to you? Now?
Speaker 3: Well, I mean.
Speaker 4: I've probably hit nail on ahead, but just around that
Speaker 4: love element, being able to do what you love and
Speaker 4: spend time with people that you love like. I think
Speaker 4: it's quite simple now, not as in it's simple to do,
Speaker 4: but it's just if you can do that and find
Speaker 4: that and chase that feeling of things that make you
Speaker 4: feel good and that you love to do, to be
Speaker 4: able to make that and call that a job, I
Speaker 4: think I feel very grateful and I want to be
Speaker 4: able to continue to do that as for as long
Speaker 4: as I can, because I give my best to it
Speaker 4: because of it, you know, because I love it. And
Speaker 4: then obviously being and surrounding yourself with all the people
Speaker 4: that you want to spend time with.
Speaker 2: Love and share love. Yeah, which is you know, the end,
Speaker 2: A full circle back to Chris Martin Good gave so much,
Speaker 2: and it's yeah, that's the connection that we're after. That
Speaker 2: is the that's the oneness, you know, when we're in
Speaker 2: that space of love, we feel such a oneness. Guys,
Speaker 2: chatters hearts, thank you so much for coming on today.
Speaker 2: It's been amazing to chat. I love that we've gone
Speaker 2: down the path of success and it's led us to
Speaker 2: so many different tangents. Thanks to you for your energy
Speaker 2: and passion and wisdom and experience and all and all
Speaker 2: those shares. I really appreciate having you both on you.
Speaker 3: It's been great.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Good see shatters, good sneer mate, thanks mate.
Speaker 1: Well there you go.
Speaker 3: Gang.
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed that. I love him. He's a
Speaker 1: good dude. I love her. She's Ace and of course
Speaker 1: I love you. See you next time.