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Speaker 1: I'll get a team. It's Harps and Tiff, it's the

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Speaker 1: you project. It's Monday, as we record, it's the it's

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Speaker 1: the sixth day of the tenth month of the twenty

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Speaker 1: fifth year of the third century. And O dominie that

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Speaker 1: is Latin for I think after Jesus died or something

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Speaker 1: like that. But can you believe we're in the third millennia,

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Speaker 1: not the second millennia, the third millennia? Who would have

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Speaker 1: thought Tifts like couldn't be less interested? It is Monday

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Speaker 1: in our fine city by the bay. It is. We're

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Speaker 1: stumbling into summer and it just clocked over daylight savings

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Speaker 1: here in Victoria. Where else is it daylight savings? It's

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Speaker 1: not in Queensland, I know that. Is it in w A?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. We don't need to have this conversation.

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Speaker 1: Probably everybody's like, fuck, really, we tuned in for daylight savings.

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Speaker 2: My life out and you're talking about and what time

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Speaker 2: the sun goes down?

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Speaker 1: Are you adapted? How quickly does it take you to

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Speaker 1: adapt to daylight savings?

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Speaker 2: I didn't go too bad it. In fact, this way around,

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Speaker 2: I've been annoyed that I wake up way too early.

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Speaker 2: Most mornings, and so it's nice to know as long

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Speaker 2: as my as long as my sleep doesn't start scooting

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Speaker 2: out the door on me getting to sleep, the waking

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Speaker 2: up at six instead of five right now at this

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Speaker 2: time of my life is a blessing.

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Speaker 1: So do you do anything to adapt? Like you do?

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Speaker 1: You just go I'm just going to go to bed

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Speaker 1: at the same time as in the same Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I just pretend it's not happening. Ever, since it

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Speaker 2: all just happens on your phone, I just pretend, because

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Speaker 2: you know how my mind gets in the way of

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Speaker 2: a lot of things, apps I get out of the way.

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Speaker 2: I just pretend it hasn't happened, and then my psychological

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Speaker 2: bloody warfare doesn't get heads up on me.

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Speaker 1: Well, you think about the amount of psychology that really

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Speaker 1: goes into it, and people are like, oh, we lose

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Speaker 1: it out. No we don't, we don't. There's still twenty

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Speaker 1: four hours. And I kind of know theoretically what you're saying,

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Speaker 1: but it's like your body doesn't know the difference. Like,

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Speaker 1: so if you normally go to bed at ten, and

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Speaker 1: now we've put the clocks forward to eleven, well, then

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Speaker 1: just go to bed at fucking nine. You know yesterday

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Speaker 1: yesterday's nine is now today's ten. So just go, oh fuck,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm confused. But anyway, whatever, whatever, whatever

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Speaker 1: time your body thinks it is. But I mean, here's

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Speaker 1: the here's the you know, the luxury that you and

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Speaker 1: I have is for a lot of what you do.

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Speaker 1: Oh probably more than more me than you. But you

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Speaker 1: don't have a job per se where you've got to

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Speaker 1: get up every day at the same time and get

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Speaker 1: on a bloody train or get in your car or

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Speaker 1: arrive at the office at a certain time. And I'm

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Speaker 1: probably a little bit lucky compared to many listeners who

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Speaker 1: don't have that flexibility.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, so you've seen that, like the stats on

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Speaker 2: things like car accidents and hard and yeah, Like I'm

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Speaker 2: not a fan of the whole.

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Speaker 1: I think, yeah, well, I think practically for a lot

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Speaker 1: of people, because as I just said, with some people

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Speaker 1: don't have the option of just listening to their body.

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Speaker 1: They've actually got to get up an hour earlier. And

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Speaker 1: because of that, like a lot of people have, Like

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Speaker 1: the reason that there are so many increased car accidents

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Speaker 1: and cardiac episodes and all of that is just correlates

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Speaker 1: to less sleep, and when people are less well slept,

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Speaker 1: then their bodies not recovered properly, and so there's more

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Speaker 1: you know, cardio respiratory stress and nervous system stress and

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Speaker 1: endocrine system stress, and so that equates to more deaths,

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Speaker 1: which is pretty It's quite the common sequence of daylight

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Speaker 1: savings when you think about it. But anyway, that's what

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Speaker 1: we do. We're not changing it. I don't know that

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Speaker 1: government are tuning in thinking fuck ups and Tiff have

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Speaker 1: just blown the lid off that we've got to We've

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Speaker 1: got to have a Head of government meeting.

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Speaker 3: We've got to have a fucking We've got to get

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Speaker 3: all the big wigs in and just rethink this whole

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Speaker 3: Daylight savings because those motherfuckers are making some very salient

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Speaker 3: points about their physiological and clinical consequences.

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Speaker 1: Of this thing that we've implemented over the decades. We

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Speaker 1: might have to just fucking swing the boat around and

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Speaker 1: just undo that. We might have to pull the plugs.

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Speaker 1: Thank god, pull the plug on daylight savings. Thank god

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Speaker 1: we did this episode. Fuck, where would the world be

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Speaker 1: without you and I solving problems that don't exist? Oh? Fuck,

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Speaker 1: I wonder if that one person who's still listening is

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Speaker 1: wondering why they're still listening. Yeah, dear, dear, you were

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Speaker 1: summer person. If you could only have summer all year

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Speaker 1: or winter all year, what would you have? Oh?

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Speaker 2: You know the answer to that. I don't really I'm

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Speaker 2: such a summer person. Winter is I really struggle. I

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Speaker 2: really struggle. I'll get that seasonal effective. I'm a miserable

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Speaker 2: I'm so miserable in winter.

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Speaker 1: Really.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, when the sun comes out, I feel like a

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Speaker 2: different person. It's the best. What about you.

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Speaker 1: On spring? I like this time of the year. I

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Speaker 1: know that wasn't an option, but fuck it, I'm going

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Speaker 1: option three, Eddie. I like it, you know, but if

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Speaker 1: I could only what do I love?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: It's because it's middle of the road. It's nice, it's

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Speaker 1: not freezing, it's not hot.

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Speaker 2: It's also it's all of the things. It's and cold

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Speaker 2: and shit and miserable and thunderstorms.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, listen to that high performance coach tip cook.

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Speaker 1: If you want to book in with her for some

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Speaker 1: fucking inspiration, don't do it today. Oh my god, you

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Speaker 1: need to go listen to this and remember what it

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Speaker 1: is that you allegedly do for and with people fucking

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Speaker 1: get some perspective. I was talking to you before this

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Speaker 1: episode about perspective and context and gratitude. Oh what a

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Speaker 1: hardship living in Melbourne, dealing with spring. Oh tif oh wow,

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Speaker 1: some people have got cancer. But Tip's got to deal

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Speaker 1: with Spring. Everyone, let's send her a card. Fuck and

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Speaker 1: hew for you.

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Speaker 2: That is it.

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Speaker 1: I'm what you call right now. You're unreasonable friend, You're welcome.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what? Though? This is the conversation that

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Speaker 1: I wanted to have with you, though, and what you

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Speaker 1: just did, I do the same. I think we all

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Speaker 1: do that something where we go we just put Mayo

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Speaker 1: on something and we go, oh fuck, and then you go, yeah,

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Speaker 1: is it really? Is it really? That? Is it really

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Speaker 1: a problem? And we were talking before we went live.

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Speaker 1: We're talking about perspective and context. And I won't have

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Speaker 1: the same conversation with you, even though the listeners didn't

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Speaker 1: hear it. But you know today as we record at

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Speaker 1: October six and Jane O'Brien, who's a friend of mine,

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Speaker 1: who if you have not heard that episode, I cannot

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Speaker 1: recommend it highly enough. Not because I'm brilliant, not because

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Speaker 1: the actual recording audio quality is amazing, but just her story.

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Speaker 1: If you can listen to Jane's story and not be

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Speaker 1: impacted emotionally and mentally, not be inspired, not have a

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Speaker 1: shift in perspective, I was going to say, then there's

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Speaker 1: something wrong with you. That's a bit harsh, but it's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, like I love. One of the things about

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Speaker 1: my job is I'm often talking to people who really

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Speaker 1: are dealing with like, genuinely, genuinely hard stuff. And I

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Speaker 1: don't know anyone who's dealt with anything harder than her,

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Speaker 1: who was literally a couple of hours away from death

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Speaker 1: and in intensive care for eighty two days and had

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Speaker 1: to literally say goodbye to her children because she was

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Speaker 1: dying on a given day. And obviously that didn't happen.

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Speaker 1: And that's me giving you two percent of the story.

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Speaker 1: But to listen to her talk and to listen to

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Speaker 1: the way that she dealt with things and deals with

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Speaker 1: things much harder than I've ever even had to think

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Speaker 1: about for myself, it just fills me. Well, it fills

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Speaker 1: me with a little bit of guilt for what a

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Speaker 1: big fucking baby I have been at times, but I

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Speaker 1: can't change that. But it just shines a light on

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Speaker 1: for me. It shines a light on whatever the term is, lucky, blessed.

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Speaker 1: You know, I don't know how fortunate I am that

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Speaker 1: I have the life I do in the city that

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Speaker 1: I live in, with the people that I have around me.

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Speaker 1: That in the context, you know, and I think about, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm us all back on my shoulder on this or that,

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Speaker 1: and I just think how different life is life experiences

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Speaker 1: when you look at your life situation, circumstance, environment, relationships, job,

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah, all of the bits and pieces that

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Speaker 1: make up your life when you look at it through

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Speaker 1: a different window or a different lens. I got. I

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Speaker 1: think I've cried on a podcast two or three times

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Speaker 1: in two thousand episodes. I cried on that with her,

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Speaker 1: and she, you know what, I'm going to share something

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Speaker 1: with you, like, I've never met anyone who's just just

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Speaker 1: got so many challenges but is so concerned about other

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Speaker 1: people and not in a you know, when you meet people, Tiff,

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Speaker 1: and it's like there, I don't know that they're very

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Speaker 1: positive in all of that. And I try and be that.

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Speaker 1: And it's not that it's not genuine, but it seems to.

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Speaker 1: It's like with you and me, I think you and

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Speaker 1: I can both be like super positive or a bit

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Speaker 1: negative or and when we try and be the best

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Speaker 1: versions of ourselves, right, but we're both flawed. And I'm

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Speaker 1: not saying she's not flawed, but when she talks about

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Speaker 1: stuff and when she is coming from a place of

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Speaker 1: love and kindness and encouragement and support, there's no persona

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Speaker 1: in it all right. So the other day we had

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Speaker 1: this chat, and later on she sent me this message,

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Speaker 1: which probably won't want me sending, but anyway, she wrote, Harps,

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Speaker 1: thanks again for the interview. If there's one thing I

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Speaker 1: know to be true about you, it's not a matter

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Speaker 1: of if you'll speak to us, sellout crowd in a

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Speaker 1: big stadium or arena. It's just a matter of when Yes,

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Speaker 1: you're a hard worker, but you also have a quality

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Speaker 1: that can't be taught. You are one of the great

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Speaker 1: thought leaders of our time. I am blessed to be

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Speaker 1: here to witness it. Have a great weekend, Jane. And

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Speaker 1: I read that, I'm like, I don't know where that

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Speaker 1: came from. Like that wasn't prompted by me, I didn't,

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Speaker 1: you know, And it was just like she sat down

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Speaker 1: and that's what she thinks, and that that's what she feels.

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Speaker 1: I think she overestimates me by the way, thank you, Janie,

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Speaker 1: but just for somebody to do that when they don't

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Speaker 1: at all need to do that, Like I already think

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Speaker 1: highly of her, but she's so concerned that in the

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Speaker 1: middle of her still dealing with lots of stuff, she's

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Speaker 1: she's trying to make me feel good, you know, like

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Speaker 1: she's concerned about how I am. She's cheering me on.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, I need to do better.

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Speaker 2: How beautiful? What do you reckon?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 2: How do we sit in that space between getting that

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Speaker 2: from other people? And I've probably asked you this before, like,

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Speaker 2: but honoring our own Like everything's relative, Like everyone everyone's

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Speaker 2: hardest thing is their hardest thing relative to what they've

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Speaker 2: been through. So how do we honor ourselves and our

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Speaker 2: circumstance and what we might need out of something, but

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Speaker 2: also draw from that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good question. I yeah, because I think

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Speaker 1: correct me if I'm wrong. But I feel like you're saying, like, like,

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Speaker 1: our pain is real, even if our pain is somewhat

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Speaker 1: self created. Even like I've you know, where we can

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Speaker 1: turn a one into a nine. You've done it. I've

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Speaker 1: done it. Right, but nonetheless, as an experience, the nine

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Speaker 1: is real. So the drama or the anxiety or the

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Speaker 1: you know, we're not saying, and we're not saying you

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Speaker 1: don't deserve your pain or you don't deserve the anxiety.

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Speaker 1: You haven't earned this. No, that's not it at all.

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Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's two things. It's it's

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Speaker 1: having an awareness of how you feel and what you

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Speaker 1: feel and acknowledging that and honoring that and not beating

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Speaker 1: yourself up just going oh wow, right now I'm really

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Speaker 1: anxious or I'm really sad, or I'm really but there's

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Speaker 1: probably not a lot to be anxious or sad about.

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Speaker 1: But nonetheless, my experience is real, so're validating that. But

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Speaker 1: also part two is not to then immerse ourselves in

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Speaker 1: maybe self pity. I think that's a separate a level

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Speaker 1: of awareness. And then part three maybe of that is

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Speaker 1: to then to try to be curious about it and

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Speaker 1: realize that you know, there are people in better positions

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Speaker 1: than you, there are people in worse positions than you,

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Speaker 1: and you've been here before, and it's going to pass.

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Speaker 1: Like this is not a permanent state. Hi, everybody, we're back.

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Speaker 1: Sorry about that, we had a little moment, we had

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Speaker 1: a little interruption here, but technicality we're back. So I

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Speaker 1: think that, yeah, like having that self awareness around what

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Speaker 1: I think and feel is real and I don't need

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Speaker 1: to beat myself up about it. Like self awareness is

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Speaker 1: not self loathing. But also at the same time consciously

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Speaker 1: maybe consciously working towards dealing with things in a way

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Speaker 1: where we don't respond so dramatically or it doesn't impact

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Speaker 1: us so much. You know. It's like that, how do

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Speaker 1: we get good at performing under pressure or dealing with

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Speaker 1: pressure or dealing with hard things? And it's by putting

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Speaker 1: ourselves in that situation. So the thing that gave me

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Speaker 1: a one out of ten, sorry, a nine out of

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Speaker 1: ten stress response or anxiety response, once I kind of

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Speaker 1: desensitize myself to that situation or that challenge or that

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Speaker 1: task or that whatever it is, maybe it only produces

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Speaker 1: a one or two anxiety or stress response. And that's

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Speaker 1: not because the task has changed or the situation or

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Speaker 1: the challenge, but rather because I've changed me. I think

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Speaker 1: it's I think so much of what we talk about

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Speaker 1: here and whether or not we're dealing with stuff like Jane,

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Speaker 1: you know, as when you listen to that episode, folks.

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Speaker 1: It's like her her story is almost like the ultimate

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Speaker 1: story of self management, self regulation, self awareness. Where everything

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Speaker 1: that she could optimize and everything that she could control,

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Speaker 1: and there wasn't much, but everything that she could control

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Speaker 1: she did, right down to her thinking, right down to

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Speaker 1: her responses. Like there was a time where she couldn't

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Speaker 1: she couldn't communicate, she couldn't do anything, she couldn't talk,

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Speaker 1: she couldn't breathe. She was on you know, live sport,

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Speaker 1: a machine was breathing for her. She couldn't use her hands, fingers.

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Speaker 1: She was paralyzed, essentially, And she was telling me that

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Speaker 1: in the middle of that, every day she just found beauty.

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Speaker 1: She found beauty and the people that would come over

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Speaker 1: every in every two hours and turn her over in bed,

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Speaker 1: and she found a way to communicate with her eyes

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Speaker 1: for the people that were around her. And she came

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Speaker 1: to love the people that basically served her and looked

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Speaker 1: after her. She came to love them and demonstrate love

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Speaker 1: for these strangers that became intertwined with her literally with

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Speaker 1: her ability to exist in human form. I'm like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, you know it's for me, It's I think

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Speaker 1: I kind of need to hear these stories and have

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Speaker 1: these interactions because it keeps me grounded because I can,

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Speaker 1: you know, I can lose perspectives sometimes. So for me,

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Speaker 1: it's like it's that, you know, it's all about context,

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Speaker 1: it's all about being able to realize and you know,

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Speaker 1: there's this thing that's going on, but then there's also

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Speaker 1: there's this story, and I'm telling myself about the thing

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Speaker 1: and what's the real issue, and then what's my story

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Speaker 1: about the issue, and those are quite often pretty different.

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Speaker 2: It reminds me of obviously Victor Frankel, and it reminds

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Speaker 2: me of Captain Charlie Plumb. We've both spoken to him

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Speaker 2: and think about the worlds that they created in Captivity

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Speaker 2: of sorts, which is kind of what your friend has done.

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Speaker 2: And I think about how much that inspired myself and

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Speaker 2: you and other listeners. And then how to it's how

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Speaker 2: to pick the lessons out of that that to implement

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Speaker 2: that actually have the effect, Because there's the theory and

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Speaker 2: then there's the stuff, but then there's the practice. There's

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Speaker 2: the practice of being around good people or taking the

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Speaker 2: time to appreciate, like I'm having a big thing at

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Speaker 2: the moment myself where I'm just like, you need to

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Speaker 2: stop being so busy. People sold you for years about

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Speaker 2: how much you do and how busy you are, and

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Speaker 2: you're like, yeah, no, no, not now. I'm like, God,

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Speaker 2: you'd stop it stop And it's like you're not ready

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Speaker 2: to realize until you're ready to realize, And yeah, so

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Speaker 2: I guess I'm just thinking about the what like what

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Speaker 2: did you draw from hers? But did you draw anything

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Speaker 2: specifically where you went I'm going to implement this or

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Speaker 2: I'm going to do something differently, or or I'm going

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Speaker 2: to try and hold on this piece of change just

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Speaker 2: for me.

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Speaker 1: I realize how how much we can all but putting

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Speaker 1: myself at the center of this because I can only

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Speaker 1: control and change and manage me. But just waste energy

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Speaker 1: on bullshit, just waste you know, Like and I'm not

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Speaker 1: ruining the story because there's so much more than this,

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Speaker 1: But could you imagine you're you're in bed and you

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Speaker 1: know that this is the last day of your life

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Speaker 1: and your children have to come in and say goodbye

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Speaker 1: to you. They have to come in and go, Mum's

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Speaker 1: dying today. We're going to say goodbye. Like that's even

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Speaker 1: a hard sentence to say. And I didn't even want

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Speaker 1: to say it, but that's literally the truth of the situation.

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Speaker 1: We're going into a hospital to say goodbye to our mother.

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Speaker 1: You know. After that, I'm like, oh god, yeah, this

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Speaker 1: is I need to rethink. I need to look at

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Speaker 1: life through a different lens. And I'm still working on

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Speaker 1: that now. I'm still I'm still unpacking that conversation with

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Speaker 1: her for myself. And you know, look, I mean, different

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Speaker 1: things affect people in a different way, and the same

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Speaker 1: thing affects different people differently, right. But I think one

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Speaker 1: of the dangers of or one of the dangers one

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Speaker 1: of the traps maybe I don't know if it's danger,

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Speaker 1: but one of the traps of self help and personal

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Speaker 1: development and behavioral psychology and podcast is it is easy

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Speaker 1: to say stuff. It's easy. It's relatively easy to have

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Speaker 1: this conversation. But really, for me, Craig Harper, not the

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Speaker 1: podcast and not the whatever the fuck I am, not

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Speaker 1: the academic, not the coach, but just me, the human being.

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Speaker 1: Like I think what really matters, like who I really

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Speaker 1: am is what I do when I'm not on this show.

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Speaker 1: It's like, what like when it's just me and me,

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Speaker 1: or perhaps me and God or my higher power or

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Speaker 1: whatever it is that we think we have access to me,

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Speaker 1: divine intelligence, whatever it is. I think that's really that's

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Speaker 1: where I really get to know me better, because it's

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Speaker 1: the you that nobody sees, that's the real you, you know. Now,

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Speaker 1: I think I try very hard on this show to

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Speaker 1: be as authentic as somebody can be in front of

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Speaker 1: thousands of people listening. But I also know that I

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Speaker 1: have an ego. I also know that I want people

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Speaker 1: to like me. I also know that I want people

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Speaker 1: to come back and listen to the show. I want

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Speaker 1: people to go away and say good things. So I

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Speaker 1: would be kidding myself and lying to myself if I

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Speaker 1: didn't acknowledge that there are times when I'm not being

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Speaker 1: fully transparent where you know where of course, there's a

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Speaker 1: persona to an extent, of course, there's the I want

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Speaker 1: to be the version of me that I think people

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Speaker 1: will connect with, you know, And and we can't be

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Speaker 1: everything to everyone, and we can't just show up in

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Speaker 1: every conversation and in every moment in time just our

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Speaker 1: rawst most base, falling apart self. But you know, for me,

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Speaker 1: it's trying to think about all right, get away from that,

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Speaker 1: get away from the attention and the love and the

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Speaker 1: you know, the likes and all that stuff, Like what

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Speaker 1: actually are you about? And what is this for? Like

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Speaker 1: what are your motives? Like why do you do this thing?

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Speaker 1: Why do you do these things? You say you want

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Speaker 1: to help people? But is that really number one? Or

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Speaker 1: is that number four? There's number one. Your fucking ego

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Speaker 1: is number one, you know it's and without beating myself up,

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Speaker 1: it's for me. It's self awareness. I'm trying to understand

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Speaker 1: me in real time, like I try to understand me

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Speaker 1: right now in this conversation with you that people are

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Speaker 1: going to listen to, because I think and again, these

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Speaker 1: are just my thoughts everyone. This is not it's not

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Speaker 1: based on research what I'm about to say. But I think,

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Speaker 1: like we all want to be loved and approved of,

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Speaker 1: and we all want want connection. We all want people

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Speaker 1: to think highly of us, and nobody wants people to

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Speaker 1: think badly of us or them, and and you know,

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Speaker 1: we all want to impress someone, and we all want

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Speaker 1: to be safe, and we all want to be you know,

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Speaker 1: and when you factor all that in, well, of course

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Speaker 1: that's going to influence how you present yourself to others,

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Speaker 1: you know, And that's not a bad thing, that's a

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Speaker 1: human thing. But it's went I'm by myself. It's when

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Speaker 1: you're by yourself and there is no judge, there is

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Speaker 1: no audience, there is no external observation or critique. Nobody's

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Speaker 1: judging me, nobody's listening to me, nobody's seeing me, nobody's

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Speaker 1: giving me anything. It's like, well, what am I doing

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Speaker 1: now when no one's looking? Like? What am I really

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Speaker 1: paying attention to? What really has my focus and my energy?

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Speaker 1: Do I really want to love and serve people? Or

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Speaker 1: am I just a good fucking communicator who knows how

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Speaker 1: to say the right things? Because that's a trap, you know.

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Speaker 1: I told you this. I've shared this maybe once or twice.

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Speaker 1: But when I was young and I had this pastor

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Speaker 1: in a church I was at and he he came up.

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Speaker 1: He was beyond wise. He was old, like super old. Compare.

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Speaker 1: I was like twenty one or two. He was heading

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Speaker 1: towards eighty and he came up and he said to me,

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Speaker 1: it was in context. I don't know what I'd done,

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Speaker 1: probably been a smart ass. And he said to me,

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Speaker 1: he goes you have a gift, he goes your tongue. Basically,

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Speaker 1: he was saying communication. He goes, your tongue is a

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Speaker 1: gift and you need to you need to figure out

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Speaker 1: for the rest of your life if you want to

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Speaker 1: build people up or tear them down, he goes, because

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Speaker 1: you can do both. Because it's like, if anybody had

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Speaker 1: a bit of a go at me verbally, I could

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Speaker 1: just slice and dicee them. And my story was, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but they started it right, do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Because I could because I was a smart ass and

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Speaker 1: my brain works quicker, my mouth works quicker. And he

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Speaker 1: said to me, you need to figure out what you're

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Speaker 1: going to do with that gift. And it was like

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Speaker 1: he just and I loved him and respected him, and

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Speaker 1: no one else in the world could have told me

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Speaker 1: that except him. And I'm like, oh, just oh, yes, yes.

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Speaker 1: And if I'm being honest, I don't always do it.

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Speaker 1: I try to do it, but I don't always do it.

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Speaker 1: But I think that's the you know, that's the journey,

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Speaker 1: isn't it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah? How often do you spend time with you, Like,

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Speaker 2: how often do you really like, not just check on

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Speaker 2: the TV or not just sit and rest, but actually

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Speaker 2: find a way to connect with you and just see

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Speaker 2: what comes up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I do that more and more, because like truly

430
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,680
Speaker 1: do that more and more, you know, Like I listen

431
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 1: to a million books all about probably one in probably

432
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 1: every second walk I go on. Now, I don't take

433
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 1: my headphones. I take my phone just because, but it's

434
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,800
Speaker 1: in my pocket. I'm not reading, i'm not looking, just

435
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,719
Speaker 1: because it tracks my steps and in case I've got

436
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:06,200
Speaker 1: to be contacted. But it's funny you say this, because

437
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 1: I've had an awareness around that. I do spend a

438
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:13,080
Speaker 1: lot of time alone, probably more than people would think.

439
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:18,439
Speaker 1: I'll probably spend twenty hours a day alone because I

440
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:22,600
Speaker 1: live by myself, and you know, I'm not in a relationships.

441
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,520
Speaker 1: So go to bed alone, get up alone. You know,

442
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 1: don't have brothers, don't have sisters, don't have you know,

443
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:33,159
Speaker 1: my parents live two hours away, and so there's a

444
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 1: lot of alone time. But it's very easy to still

445
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:44,720
Speaker 1: be not fully present even though you're alone. And so

446
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:53,440
Speaker 1: I often feel compelled to just fucking pick up my phone,

447
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:59,240
Speaker 1: just turn that on, just to because there's a low

448
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:03,280
Speaker 1: level angs in just leaning into whatever it is where

449
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:06,399
Speaker 1: I'm just still and i'm you know, and I'm trying

450
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 1: to turn off the creative part of my brain because

451
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 1: I'm always thinking about someone something I can write on

452
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:14,639
Speaker 1: the whiteboard, a workshop I can do, like a topic

453
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,879
Speaker 1: we can explore in the podcast or whatever it is.

454
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 1: But to get out of all of that, to get

455
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 1: out of the busyness of the mind, and to get

456
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,880
Speaker 1: out of the fear of the mind, and to get

457
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:31,200
Speaker 1: out of the habitual repetition of the mind, you know,

458
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,879
Speaker 1: and then to walk through all of those bits of

459
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,919
Speaker 1: the mind and get to that door at the end

460
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 1: of the mind where you open that door and then

461
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:42,119
Speaker 1: you walk through and none of that is there, Like

462
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 1: for me, trying to get into that space more often

463
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:50,000
Speaker 1: is currently where I'm at. Yeah, And also and I

464
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,160
Speaker 1: don't even know what this means, but I've spoken about

465
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 1: it a bit recently. But for me, just trying to

466
00:27:56,640 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 1: figure out what a spiritual life for me, not for

467
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 1: anyone else, not what I think people should do, not

468
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,920
Speaker 1: you know, there's no recommendations in this for anyone. It's

469
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:13,399
Speaker 1: just for me trying to figure out what is you know,

470
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,639
Speaker 1: what is the Is there a spiritual component to my life?

471
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 1: Do I want there to be? What does that mean?

472
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 1: Away from all the pseudo religious pseudo spiritual fluff and bullshit.

473
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:27,879
Speaker 1: What does that mean? Because I think for me, like

474
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 1: the challenge is not to understand my mind. For me,

475
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,320
Speaker 1: it's more to get out of my mind. It's too

476
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:40,719
Speaker 1: like to get out of the cognition, the creativity, the thinking,

477
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 1: the problem solving that it's to get out of all

478
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 1: of that and to not think for a while, you know,

479
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 1: to not ruminate, to not plan, to not strategize, to

480
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,719
Speaker 1: not try to be something. You know?

481
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 2: And is it just walks for you or what's your process?

482
00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 2: What's your practice?

483
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's walking and for me being outside. I know

484
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:09,360
Speaker 1: this sounds a bit naugh, but truly just being I

485
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:11,280
Speaker 1: sit outside in a chair and I put my because

486
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 1: I've got a million bamboo trees, I put one. I

487
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 1: put both feet on a different bamboo tree. So I

488
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 1: just sit there facing the bamboo in bare feet, and

489
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 1: I just put my left foot on a tree and

490
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 1: my right foot on a tree, and I just turn

491
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,720
Speaker 1: everything off and I just I just do that for

492
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 1: around fifteen minutes. Yeah, But I because I walk so

493
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 1: much every day, I walk about ten k's which is,

494
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 1: you know, the best part of an hour and a

495
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 1: half towards two hours, and I'm listening to less and

496
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 1: less stuff. There's a lot of Yeah, trying to quieten

497
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 1: the mind for everyone is a battle, but for me

498
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 1: it's and it's not quiet. And my mind's not busy

499
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 1: because of fear or chaos or anxiety. It's just busy

500
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 1: because I'm always just thinking about shit. It's more creative,

501
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 1: it's more curiosity, but there's still I still there's I

502
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:19,320
Speaker 1: still think there's there's value in getting out of that,

503
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 1: because life's not all about building this or solving that

504
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 1: or fixing that or creating that. I think that's an

505
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:30,640
Speaker 1: important part. But I also think it's great to be unproductive.

506
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 1: It's great to be still. It's great to achieve nothing.

507
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:40,320
Speaker 1: You know, it's great to just sit in gratitude. You know.

508
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 2: When I came back from India and I started weakly

509
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 2: going down to the Daninong's with no phone, no anything

510
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 2: that was I think that's the only thing that put

511
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 2: me into that space for a while, which I haven't

512
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 2: done since kind of I started. I started some a

513
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 2: course in in April ish, so it's been nearly six

514
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 2: or seven months and I was thinking about it the

515
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 2: other day and I don't like this I'm never not doing.

516
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 2: I'm never not doing, I'm never not thinking, and I'm

517
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 2: never not planning. And it puts my body and mind

518
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 2: in a state of rush all the time, rush and

519
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 2: urgency and like that translates to lack and stress and

520
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 2: you know, just no presence. And it took me most

521
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 2: of this conversation before I remembered the dandongs and went, oh,

522
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 2: I did do it. I was like, I don't, I've

523
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,760
Speaker 2: never done I don't do it, but I did do

524
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 2: it for a little while, right, Yeah, I find it.

525
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,480
Speaker 2: You know, getting out of our life and finding a

526
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 2: space that allows that is really hard.

527
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 1: Well. Yeah, it's kind of reminiscent of that book that

528
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 1: e Myth, where you know, Gerber talks about you can't

529
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 1: really you can't work on the business and in the

530
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 1: business you've got to kind of step out of the

531
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 1: business to get perspective. And this analogy would be to

532
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 1: step out of your life or the I guess, the

533
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 1: rules and rituals and habits and the momentum of your

534
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:17,640
Speaker 1: life to try and find a little bit of space

535
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:21,720
Speaker 1: and a little bit of distance. Yeah, because it's you know,

536
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 1: you wake up in a minute and you're forty five,

537
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 1: or you wake up and you're fifty, or you wake

538
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,479
Speaker 1: up and you're you know, you're me, you're sixty two.

539
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 1: And I don't know what other sixty two year olds

540
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 1: feel like, but nothing, nothing about me. And I'm not

541
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:41,080
Speaker 1: saying this is this is not a brag, but I

542
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 1: don't feel on any level sixty two. I don't physiologically

543
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 1: or emotionally or cognitively. I don't. But nonetheless that's where

544
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 1: I am. But I think this brings us back to

545
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 1: that the often discussing about living intentionally, where you know,

546
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 1: it's a bit of that life iron stuff, because you know,

547
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 1: do you want balance here? I want balance? Do you

548
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: want to be financially successful?

549
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 2: Yeah?

550
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 1: I do. Do you want a spiritual life? I think so? Yeah.

551
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 1: Do you want healthy relationships? Yeah? Do you want to

552
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 1: be working all the time? No? Do you want to

553
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 1: be busy all the time? No? And then to go

554
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:23,560
Speaker 1: all right, well, how do I create that version? Like

555
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:27,280
Speaker 1: what is that for me? And if I'm going to

556
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 1: create this version of a life where I've got productive

557
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 1: time and unproductive time times where you know, I'm redlining

558
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 1: it and my foot's on the accelerator and I'm just

559
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:41,720
Speaker 1: going hard, and then times where I'm either literally or

560
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 1: metaphorically in the hammock, times where I'm crying, times where

561
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:49,840
Speaker 1: I'm laughing, times where you know it's things are going great,

562
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 1: and times where things aren't going great, and times where

563
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 1: I'm all about my brain, and times where I'm all

564
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:58,080
Speaker 1: about my physical health, and times when I'm all about

565
00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 1: making dough, and then times where I'm all about just

566
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 1: getting away from it, Like how do I build this

567
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,840
Speaker 1: existence that kind of reflects who and how I want

568
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 1: to be and rather than just talking about things that

569
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 1: we never actually do. Like this is my ongoing frustration

570
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:19,560
Speaker 1: with personal development and self help and behavioral psychology and

571
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:23,959
Speaker 1: podcasts and books. And it's not like I don't think

572
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:27,360
Speaker 1: the content the podcast or the book or the workshop

573
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:31,120
Speaker 1: is the problem, but rather the challenge is to get

574
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:35,880
Speaker 1: us humans who love listening to personal development while simultaneously

575
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 1: not operationalizing it. It's like, we love to listen to

576
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 1: self help, we love to get motivated, we love to

577
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 1: get inspired, we love to learn new things about the

578
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:50,759
Speaker 1: human condition. But that's not the same as putting an

579
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 1: into practice and creating results consistently over time, and then

580
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 1: one or two or five years down the track. Now

581
00:34:57,080 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 1: you've literally reinvented yourself. Now you're physically, mentally, emotionally, practically,

582
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:06,840
Speaker 1: financially in a vastly improved place. Because you heard something,

583
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:10,360
Speaker 1: you explored it, you made a decision, you applied to something,

584
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:15,239
Speaker 1: you adapted and adjusted and improvised and overcame and you

585
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 1: solved problems. And now here you are. You know, this

586
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:22,879
Speaker 1: is like because it's ongoing, like we don't get there,

587
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:26,200
Speaker 1: we don't go and now I'm here. Now I've got

588
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 1: the job, Now I've got the money, Now I've got

589
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 1: the person. Because we're just we're always you know. It

590
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,880
Speaker 1: doesn't mean we can't be more or less grateful or

591
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 1: more or less content, but where you know, this is

592
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,400
Speaker 1: a journey until we're not here anymore.

593
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:42,759
Speaker 2: Now. I think we learn that stuff when we do

594
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 2: stop and pause, like we learn what we get the

595
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 2: perspective of what hasn't shifted inside of us when the

596
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:52,359
Speaker 2: world has shifted outside of us. You know, And there's

597
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:56,040
Speaker 2: been many times of sat outside my life and going, oh,

598
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:59,080
Speaker 2: all this stuff I now have and do was once

599
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:03,719
Speaker 2: on a fucking board that I thought was outrageous and no,

600
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:05,840
Speaker 2: look and now look at them in the middle of it,

601
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 2: and I'm not celebrating any of it.

602
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, isn't that interesting? Isn't it? When interesting when we

603
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 1: get to the top of the mountain, no matter how

604
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,719
Speaker 1: big or small the mountain is, we don't just stay

605
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:19,759
Speaker 1: there and go boom, Yeah, I'm here now, like we go, oh,

606
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:22,400
Speaker 1: wrong mountain, or what about that mountain over there? Or

607
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:25,279
Speaker 1: you know, maybe I'll run up the mountain, not walk

608
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 1: up the mountain, or maybe I'll build a palace up

609
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 1: on the mountain.

610
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:33,040
Speaker 2: I also think it's interesting how the story that we

611
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 2: tell ourselves about our relationship with what we've heard or

612
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 2: witnessed as to whether or not we draw inspiration and

613
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:46,320
Speaker 2: practice like, we will change. I believe that we change

614
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 2: whether we action things or not. We change when we

615
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 2: hear stuff because we have a new understanding and we

616
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 2: have a new perspective on something, So there is some shift.

617
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 1: But I think what.

618
00:36:57,719 --> 00:37:01,800
Speaker 2: Dictates what we do with that is is a story

619
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:05,759
Speaker 2: about whether we we judge ourselves about whether or not

620
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:11,399
Speaker 2: we've taken action, yeah, or whether we are a little

621
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:15,359
Speaker 2: bit more compassionate and we I don't know, Just let

622
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 2: let you know, sit with it and think about it

623
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 2: and observe what we do with things.

624
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:29,280
Speaker 1: It's interesting because like when you think about like somebody,

625
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 1: somebody like John our mate, you know, he can't get

626
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:40,360
Speaker 1: up today and go, you know what, I'm going to

627
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:44,200
Speaker 1: deal with this pain next Monday. You know, it's like

628
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:48,319
Speaker 1: he's just got to see. One of the good and

629
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 1: bad I think of our life is that we don't

630
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:54,880
Speaker 1: have to change today. We don't have to eat better today.

631
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 1: We don't need to do the work today. We don't

632
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:01,400
Speaker 1: need to because life's pretty fucking come. And by the way,

633
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:05,640
Speaker 1: I'm going to do it tomorrow. But think of all

634
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 1: the people that you and I know. You know Joel

635
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 1: Sardi who's in a wheelchair, who has a spinal cord injury,

636
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 1: who's a quadriplegic with some upper body function. Joel can't

637
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,920
Speaker 1: get up today and go deah, fuck quadriplegia. I'm not

638
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 1: doing that today. I can't be bothered. I've got shit on.

639
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:29,800
Speaker 1: I'm sad, I'm anxious, I'm depressed. It's inconvenient, it doesn't

640
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 1: suit me right. But we can do that. Most of

641
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,319
Speaker 1: us can go. I'm not doing whatever it is. I'm

642
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:38,719
Speaker 1: not going to change my diet today. I'm not going

643
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 1: to make the decision today. I'm not going to do

644
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 1: the work today. But for somebody like Joel, it takes

645
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 1: him three hours every day to get ready just to

646
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:51,479
Speaker 1: start the day because Joel can't walk into the shower

647
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:56,319
Speaker 1: and have a shower. Joel can't Joel needs help with everything,

648
00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 1: so does John, you know. So it's like we when

649
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:04,960
Speaker 1: we're put in a certain situation where we don't have

650
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 1: a choice, where we just do what's required and we

651
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:10,800
Speaker 1: just find a way. But when your life is pretty

652
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 1: you know, like I'll use me as an example, So

653
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:17,439
Speaker 1: I'm not offending anyone, but I don't need to make

654
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:20,799
Speaker 1: any massive changes because you know, it doesn't matter, Like

655
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:23,880
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter today, it probably doesn't matter tomorrow. And

656
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:28,120
Speaker 1: if I'm I'm happy charming Craig on the podcast, but

657
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:31,560
Speaker 1: a prick off the podcast, but nobody ever knows, well, fuck,

658
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, do you know what

659
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 1: I'm saying? Like my point is, we all have this

660
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 1: potential to change today because if someone has a heart

661
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:47,120
Speaker 1: attack today and they don't die, they're dealing with the

662
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 1: heart attack today and they're dealing with the concerts of

663
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:54,600
Speaker 1: consequences of the heart attack today, They're not dealing with

664
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 1: it next Thursday, right, and today they have the capacity

665
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:01,399
Speaker 1: to deal with it, and they just do and they

666
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:06,000
Speaker 1: make the psychological, emotional, and behavioral and medical adjustments that

667
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:09,560
Speaker 1: they need to because they can't defer it because it's here.

668
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:16,359
Speaker 1: But the problem with optional change, right, like losing weight,

669
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:19,920
Speaker 1: like changing my job, like getting a black belt in karate,

670
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:22,400
Speaker 1: like whatever it is, like enrolling in a course, like

671
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,479
Speaker 1: is we don't have to do it today, Like there's

672
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:29,319
Speaker 1: no urgency I can. I can put that shit off

673
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 1: for as long as I want. And so then we

674
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 1: do and we're like, yeah, it doesn't it's not convenient.

675
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,399
Speaker 1: I've got this. I've got that. My low backers saw

676
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:41,040
Speaker 1: the kids are on holidays, my mom's this, my dad

677
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,720
Speaker 1: did that. But bah bah, And now it's twenty twenty

678
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:48,760
Speaker 1: eight and we're still telling ourselves bullshit stories to rationalize

679
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:50,120
Speaker 1: not using our potential.

680
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:55,400
Speaker 2: I had a doctor's appointment today just to get a script,

681
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:57,840
Speaker 2: and there's this I almost took a photo of it.

682
00:40:57,840 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 2: You just but that's why I'm laughing. So I was

683
00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:02,480
Speaker 2: thinking of it. There's this character you are on the

684
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 2: wall of the surgery where it's got a doctor that

685
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 2: says the best thing you can do right now is

686
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:14,080
Speaker 2: stop eating fatty fried foods, stop drinking booze, and start exercising.

687
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 2: And the patient goes, what's the second best thing? And

688
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:22,360
Speaker 2: laugh at it every time?

689
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:25,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, that's so true, isn't it. That's so true?

690
00:41:26,239 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 1: You know, every time I see Mom and Dad lately,

691
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:33,319
Speaker 1: I just, you know, I'm just grateful that they're alive. Like,

692
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,239
Speaker 1: you know, Dad's on the slide. I mean he's not

693
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:40,440
Speaker 1: moving physically. Well, you know, he's eighty six. He's all

694
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 1: right though, like he's you know, but yeah, it's like,

695
00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 1: well he's eighty six and he's got an eighty six

696
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:47,400
Speaker 1: year old brain an eighty six year old body, and

697
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 1: Mum's eighty six in a month or two. And you're like, well,

698
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 1: but I can drive up and see them. There's so

699
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:59,800
Speaker 1: many people that can't drive and see their parents. I'm lucky,

700
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,279
Speaker 1: and I'm sixty two and I've still got both my parents.

701
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:04,720
Speaker 1: And as people often say to me, you're so blessed,

702
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:09,399
Speaker 1: you're so lucky. I agree, and I have nothing but gratitude,

703
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:13,719
Speaker 1: you know, And are they do? I wish they'd were

704
00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 1: they're fucking hearing aids. You know, yes, can Mum turn

705
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 1: a tiny little grain of sand into Mount Everest? Oh?

706
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:27,440
Speaker 1: Yes she can? Can she? You know all that? But

707
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,319
Speaker 1: is she gorgeous? And do I love both of them?

708
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,239
Speaker 1: I love both of them. And you know, one day

709
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,279
Speaker 1: I wish that they were here to bother me, you

710
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 1: know what I mean? One day i'ld wish that I

711
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:41,520
Speaker 1: could put up with Mum, you know, being anxious or

712
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:45,719
Speaker 1: overthinking the fuck out of something, or Dad looking down

713
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:48,279
Speaker 1: his nose at me, going, you know, telling me off

714
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 1: because I need a fucking shave or whatever he you know,

715
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:53,759
Speaker 1: last week I went up there's not a word of

716
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:57,800
Speaker 1: a lie, went up for his birthday and it was cold,

717
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 1: and I walked in the house wearing a beanie. It's

718
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 1: my birthday. The first thing he says to me, not

719
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:07,600
Speaker 1: as good A happy birthday? Nothing, He goes, what's that

720
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:08,919
Speaker 1: stupid hat on your head?

721
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:09,080
Speaker 2: For?

722
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:13,839
Speaker 1: That? Was? They were his opening words. I'm like, crazy, Lord,

723
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:19,799
Speaker 1: I'm home. Ah, I'm like, you know, Dad, but that's

724
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:24,480
Speaker 1: you know, but he doesn't, I mean he doesn't. He's

725
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:27,840
Speaker 1: not even trying to be. It's just him, you know,

726
00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 1: And you go, yeah, that's okay, Yeah, bless his little stocks,

727
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:35,720
Speaker 1: and one day I'm going to wish he was around

728
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:37,279
Speaker 1: to tell me about my stupid hat.

729
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm not a hat.

730
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 1: By the way ronas been. But anyway, I'm gonna eat

731
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:47,120
Speaker 1: some chicken and maybe some salad. It's been great cook.

732
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:48,520
Speaker 1: You'd be good.

733
00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:50,720
Speaker 2: I'll talk to you soon, Okay, bye,