1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:03,400 Speaker 1: This is the Fits and With with Kate Richie podcast. 2 00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:06,600 Speaker 1: I want to talk about the best comeback when somebody's 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 1: yelling at you. I think whipper you said that I 4 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 1: was going to give you a few terms to win 5 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:17,639 Speaker 1: a win an argument or maybe silence silence someone who's 6 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:20,919 Speaker 1: having a go at you. Look, I tend to go 7 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:25,279 Speaker 1: with the old if somebody is upset and it's not 8 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 1: somebody I know, although somebody sometimes it's somebody I know. 9 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,320 Speaker 1: At the end of a conversation on the phone, I'll say, 10 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:39,120 Speaker 1: have a nice day because I just think you're kiz love, 11 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 1: because you know what I mean, what we all know 12 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:46,320 Speaker 1: is when someone's really angry and they want to engage 13 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:49,520 Speaker 1: and they're not afraid of confrontation, the fact that they're 14 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:54,319 Speaker 1: met with patients and somebody almost making fun of them, 15 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:59,000 Speaker 1: that really revs them up. Yeah, there's a there's this 16 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: There's this guy. He is a trial lawyer, Jefferson Fisher. 17 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:05,959 Speaker 1: I think he comes out of the US and he's 18 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,480 Speaker 1: written a book, you know, how to argue, argue less, 19 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,360 Speaker 1: and talk more. He's got all of these followers on TikTok. 20 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: He's he's posted that how you should respond when somebody 21 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: is yelling at you, he explains, So number one, you 22 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:24,120 Speaker 1: need to instead of raising your voice and shouting something 23 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,880 Speaker 1: like don't yell at me, you know, or whatever it 24 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 1: is that you want to do, stop yelling at me. 25 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 1: And it's like, well, you like anyway? You know what 26 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 1: I'm trying to say, don't you don't you yell, but 27 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: I'll yell back at you. You're going this is what 28 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 1: you're going to do. You are going to calmly use 29 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:48,080 Speaker 1: the phrase I don't respond to that volume and maybe 30 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 1: say it's some something like that. Maybe maybe shake your 31 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 1: head at the same time. Oh, I don't respond to 32 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: that volume. That's sarcastic in itself. I don't think it is. 33 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 1: It's adding a boundary. I'm actually not going to engage 34 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 1: in this conversation if you're going to speak to me 35 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 1: like that. What if I what if I brought the 36 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: volume down? Can you try me? You show me how 37 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,840 Speaker 1: if I'm yelling at you, if it's get your well, 38 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:19,119 Speaker 1: what if I said to you? What if I went 39 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:25,640 Speaker 1: kate your bloody indicator? Okay, all right, road right, I 40 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:29,360 Speaker 1: am using my indicator. Thank you for pointing that out. 41 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: It's not me lowering lowering the level. No, aren't you 42 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 1: then supposed to say, I don't respond to that, that's me, 43 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:39,959 Speaker 1: that's I am. Just remember the laying for the top 44 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:46,280 Speaker 1: guys television, and you still can't pick up And I mean, 45 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:49,239 Speaker 1: this is live, this is live radio. I'm used to 46 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 1: being able to do three or four takes. No, you 47 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 1: are you said? You said the boundary I don't respond 48 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:58,200 Speaker 1: to the volume. Number two is that you lower your volume, 49 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 1: so you kind of saying, come on, meet me where 50 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 1: I'm at. And his quote is just give it a 51 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:08,799 Speaker 1: little haircut. I suggest, don't say to anyone, just give 52 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 1: it a little haircut. I then when well, then I 53 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:21,560 Speaker 1: wouldn't hear you. I suppose that the indicator would be 54 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,399 Speaker 1: louder than you. And if I whispered it into your neck, 55 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 1: is that a bit that would be creepy? And that 56 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:33,960 Speaker 1: would that would indicate that we may be married? And 57 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 1: don't tell me how to drive the money. Number three, 58 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 1: The slower you speak, the more confident you're going to sound. 59 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,960 Speaker 1: So one trick is to add pauses around the verb. 60 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: Look up what a verb is? Whip in this case, 61 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:51,880 Speaker 1: respond I don't respond to that volume, lower to speak, 62 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 1: and then you take back all of the controls. So 63 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,600 Speaker 1: maybe take that into your workday today. If you're going 64 00:03:56,640 --> 00:04:01,400 Speaker 1: to have a challenging conversation with some body, I'm just 65 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: what have you got response? I don't respond to that volume. 66 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 1: I'm just going to say that to BJ all day 67 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 1: to day. Get back to us on that one. It's 68 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,040 Speaker 1: in Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast to 69 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,480 Speaker 1: walk great shows like this. Download the Nova Player via 70 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 1: the App Store or Google playing the