WEBVTT - #1973 My Thoughts On 'High-Performance' - Harps 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:06.880 I get a team. It's harps Hope, you're bloody terrific. 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:10.440 Welcome to another installing you project. It's sad diavo. As 0:00:10.480 --> 0:00:14.280 I'm recording this, it's four forty two in the PM. 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:17.439 While that would coincide with afternoon, Craig. Yet good. Good 0:00:17.440 --> 0:00:20.520 that you pointed that out, because people wouldn't have known that. Lucky, 0:00:20.680 --> 0:00:24.200 I'm here. Fuck it, he fuck and start again. No, 0:00:24.760 --> 0:00:27.320 that's what we're doing. We're just going to keep rolling. 0:00:27.920 --> 0:00:30.560 Today is a what is today? It's kind of a 0:00:32.000 --> 0:00:34.320 it's kind of a coaching session of it. It's a 0:00:34.360 --> 0:00:36.640 one on one in that you are the one, I 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:39.200 am the other one, unless you're listening with a group 0:00:39.240 --> 0:00:42.199 of friends, and if you are, that's weird. It's a 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:45.600 one on one you and me. It's all around you 0:00:46.440 --> 0:00:53.559 optimizing you, and specifically me helping you optimize you. So 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:58.840 one of the things that I often talk about in 0:00:58.920 --> 0:01:01.240 my corporate stuff, in my work with teams and schools 0:01:01.240 --> 0:01:05.720 and athletes and you know, people with addictions and the 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:08.280 cross section of humans that I work with, is this 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:16.039 idea of high performance. Now, typically when we think about 0:01:16.680 --> 0:01:20.200 we okay, typically when many people think I guess I 0:01:20.240 --> 0:01:23.360 can't speak globally. But when many people think about high performance, 0:01:23.920 --> 0:01:27.040 we talk about people who do great in the performing 0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:33.680 arts or sport, or business or politics, or they have 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:37.440 some kind of standout skill or quality or attribute and 0:01:37.440 --> 0:01:42.400 they're producing amazing outcomes. And they could be, you know, 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:45.920 a high level academic, or they could be flying the 0:01:45.959 --> 0:01:48.720 space shuttle, or they could be winning gold medals or 0:01:48.800 --> 0:01:54.840 curing cancer or singing at the Grammars or whatever. That 0:01:54.960 --> 0:02:00.760 is not my That is ae kind of description. I 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:03.520 guess my description, or my definition of a high performer 0:02:04.400 --> 0:02:08.239 is anyone you me, anyone who's getting the most out 0:02:08.240 --> 0:02:13.480 of themselves. Anyone who can find a way to use 0:02:14.440 --> 0:02:17.880 most of or perhaps a lot more than the typical 0:02:17.960 --> 0:02:21.200 person or the average or the in terms of using 0:02:21.280 --> 0:02:23.760 what they have got to work with. So it's not 0:02:23.960 --> 0:02:30.239 about being rarely gifted or innately amazing or talented, or 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:32.239 you just came out of the womb and you could 0:02:32.280 --> 0:02:34.320 run one hundred miles an hour and you could speak 0:02:34.440 --> 0:02:37.280 nineteen languages and you had a four hundred IQ and 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:40.880 you could sing like a goddesk. No, it's none of that. 0:02:41.000 --> 0:02:46.280 It's about how well can you operationalize or use or 0:02:46.400 --> 0:02:50.000 optimize whatever it is that you have to work with. 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:53.359 So for me, that is the definition of a high performer. 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:55.720 One of my favorite, if not my favorite high performers 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:58.919 in the world, is Mary Margaret Harper, my beautiful mother, 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:02.760 who's five foot thing in the morning, four foot eleven 0:03:02.760 --> 0:03:07.560 at night, and who weighs forty odd kilos and who's 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:11.800 just a weapon, who at almost eighty six and having 0:03:12.120 --> 0:03:17.400 battled multiple battles or multiple rounds of cancer I should say, 0:03:17.880 --> 0:03:22.799 lung cancer, bowel cancer, had a heart attack, currently looking 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:25.720 after a husband who's you know, has his peaks and 0:03:25.760 --> 0:03:30.720 troughs and days and works with the old people, voluntarily 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:33.799 helping the old people, which is fucking hilarious because she's 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:37.000 older than Moses. But anyway, don't tell her I said that. 0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:42.200 Love her. But she just finds a way to do 0:03:42.320 --> 0:03:46.000 good stuff for herself and for others. Not that she's 0:03:46.040 --> 0:03:49.440 flawless or perfect, or not that she never has a moment, 0:03:49.560 --> 0:03:52.160 she has plenty of those. But in the middle of 0:03:53.080 --> 0:03:56.400 you know what is not the easiest life or the 0:03:56.560 --> 0:04:01.120 easiest situation, my mum ten to find a way. My 0:04:01.320 --> 0:04:03.560 mum tends to every time I talk to her. She 0:04:03.640 --> 0:04:07.840 makes me laugh every time, she's cheeky, every time she 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:10.920 has a dig at me about something in a fun, motherly, 0:04:11.080 --> 0:04:15.600 loving way at eighty five point nine years old. And 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:19.440 I just so for me, that is, can you get 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:21.440 the most out of or are you getting the most 0:04:21.440 --> 0:04:24.320 out of what you've got to work with? If not 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:28.520 the most, like more than perhaps you have previously. So 0:04:29.920 --> 0:04:33.160 my version of that for me is, am I optimizing 0:04:33.240 --> 0:04:36.040 what I've got, like my genetics and my brain and 0:04:36.080 --> 0:04:39.040 my resources and my time and my physical and mental 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:43.000 and emotional energy? And do I do good things? And 0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:45.800 do I produce some good outcomes? And am I of 0:04:45.920 --> 0:04:49.880 value to the world and people? Am I of service? 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:57.120 And am I doing something constructive, productive, practical and helpful 0:04:57.400 --> 0:05:01.200 for others? Am I doing that? And I don't always 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:04.919 do that, but I think I do that most of 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:09.760 the time. I also fuck up often, But so that 0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:14.720 is me trying to be the best version of me. So, oh, 0:05:14.839 --> 0:05:17.359 I didn't intend talk of that long. So one of 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:22.000 the things that I often run through in a presentation, 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:26.080 not so much in a keynote presentation because we're pressed 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:28.120 for time, but more a workshop two or three, our 0:05:28.160 --> 0:05:32.680 workshop perhaps all day I'm heading to thriving metropolis of 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:37.160 is it mill Jury. Yes, I'm heading to Meal during 0:05:37.240 --> 0:05:40.200 next week and I'm doing nearly a whole day with 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:43.120 a group up there, and it's a day like that 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:46.520 where we might dig in to what I'm about to 0:05:46.560 --> 0:05:49.159 dig into. So one of the questions that I ask 0:05:49.480 --> 0:05:53.719 is and I have about nearly a hundred of these 0:05:53.720 --> 0:05:56.000 things I'm about to talk about on my list. I 0:05:56.040 --> 0:05:59.760 may open the door wider at another stage, but I 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:03.720 talk about what are the skills, qualities, attributes, habits, and behaviors. 0:06:03.760 --> 0:06:06.760 I'll say it again, what are the skills, qualities, attributes, 0:06:06.800 --> 0:06:11.960 habits and behaviors of high performers. Now I've spoken about 0:06:12.120 --> 0:06:14.880 everything I'm about to talk about. I have spoken about 0:06:15.000 --> 0:06:18.839 at times over the last seven years and the almost 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:22.240 two thousand episodes. So if you've listened to everything and 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:24.400 you know me well, and you know my content well, 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:28.080 and you maybe can't get any more out of me, 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:31.400 this might not be for you. It might be a revision, 0:06:31.520 --> 0:06:34.280 it might be a reminder, it might be a prompt 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:36.240 that might be a kick in the btom. I think 0:06:36.240 --> 0:06:39.720 that's French for us, the tom. You're very welcome. I'm 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:43.760 super fucking cultured you can all tell, or for some 0:06:43.880 --> 0:06:45.800 of you who are you are, this might be a 0:06:45.880 --> 0:06:49.800 revelation a revelation, It might be a pulling back of 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:51.880 the curtain. It might be new stuff for you to 0:06:51.960 --> 0:06:55.360 think about. So I'm going to talk to you about 0:06:55.480 --> 0:07:03.120 ten variables or ingredients or things that influence our ability 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:06.520 to be able to live in that high performance space. 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:13.920 Ready you ready? All right? So you may or may 0:07:13.960 --> 0:07:16.960 not want to write this down. I like to. And 0:07:17.000 --> 0:07:19.640 obviously if you're in the car driving, look, I mean 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:23.400 I'm no expert, but probably don't write. Probably don't do that. 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:25.760 But for those of you who go, you know, I 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:27.400 want to learn something, I want to jot it down, 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:29.760 I want to unpack it a little bit later, I 0:07:29.800 --> 0:07:32.120 want to lean into it. And even for you people 0:07:32.200 --> 0:07:36.560 who are coaches and mentors and teachers and speakers in 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:38.280 your own rights, and I know a lot of you 0:07:38.360 --> 0:07:41.080 listen to me, why would you do that? But anyway, thanks, 0:07:42.160 --> 0:07:45.320 These are ten rock solid things that I talk to 0:07:45.360 --> 0:07:48.920 people about that really can move the needle on whether 0:07:49.000 --> 0:07:51.560 or not you can optimize you, whether or not you 0:07:51.640 --> 0:07:55.560 can live a version your own version of high performance. 0:07:55.760 --> 0:08:01.680 Now number one is now number one is our ability 0:08:01.720 --> 0:08:05.640 to keep doing the work, to roll up our sleeves, 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:09.840 to be courageous and to be proactive and productive, and 0:08:10.120 --> 0:08:13.280 to do what we need to do even when we 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:18.320 can't be bothered. So it's to be able to outlast 0:08:18.440 --> 0:08:22.720 our motivation for my choices and my behaviors and my 0:08:22.840 --> 0:08:27.240 actions and my plan and my commitment and my ongoing 0:08:28.400 --> 0:08:32.240 vision and process. To be able to outlast that initial 0:08:32.280 --> 0:08:35.920 burst of motivation. For many people, it's not a revelation. 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:40.280 But let's just remind ourselves. From many people, motivation is 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:42.760 a sometimes thing. It comes and goes. I would say 0:08:42.760 --> 0:08:45.760 for most people, it's motivation is a sometimes thing. For me. 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:49.000 And to be clear, I'm defining here in this chat 0:08:49.080 --> 0:08:53.640 motivation as an emotional state, a psychological state where we 0:08:53.760 --> 0:08:59.480 have a heightened sense of focus and attention and energy. 0:08:59.640 --> 0:09:03.880 And in that place of heightened emotional and psychological focus 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:07.280 and energy, we make a decision, we take action, and 0:09:07.320 --> 0:09:10.200 we're pumped. We're in the zone, we're excited, we're doing 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:13.920 shit because we're motivated, and it's all fucking laughs and giggles, 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:17.600 and then three days later we're not motivated anymore. That 0:09:17.640 --> 0:09:21.000 initial phase, that emotional and psychological state that we were 0:09:21.040 --> 0:09:25.240 in that we call motivation for whatever reason, probably because 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:27.840 we're human, not because we're bad or broken or terrible, 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:31.200 probably because we're human. Somewhere between a day later and 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:36.120 ten days later, for many people, the motivation either wanes, 0:09:36.520 --> 0:09:40.240 it subsides somewhat, or it completely vanishes, never to be 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:43.560 seen again, or never to be seen for quite a while. 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:48.400 So what is the skill, what is the capacity? What 0:09:48.520 --> 0:09:53.240 is the attribute that we want? In this space? We 0:09:53.360 --> 0:09:56.559 want to be the person who can keep fucking doing 0:09:56.600 --> 0:09:59.640 the work when it's not fun. We want to be 0:09:59.720 --> 0:10:09.479 the person who can keep applying ourselves, rolling up our sleeves, refocusing, recommitting, redoing, 0:10:11.000 --> 0:10:14.120 so to keep climbing the mountain when we don't feel 0:10:14.160 --> 0:10:17.240 like climbing the mountain, when that motivation, that emotional and 0:10:17.320 --> 0:10:21.079 psychological state that we got in, has passed. And in fact, 0:10:21.240 --> 0:10:25.839 I would say for many people, the ability to be 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:28.120 able to keep doing the work when most people would 0:10:28.120 --> 0:10:32.240 have stopped, to be able to step up when most 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:36.080 people would have given up by now, to be able 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:42.599 to override that feeling or that idea or that compulsion 0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:47.200 to give up, I think it's almost at the top 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:51.160 of the list, because we seem to be I say we, 0:10:51.440 --> 0:10:56.360 and seem as a collective observation of mine, we seem 0:10:56.440 --> 0:11:02.200 to be somewhat dependent on feeling like it. And so 0:11:02.360 --> 0:11:04.280 if I have to feel like it or I have 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:07.720 to be excited about it constantly, if I need to 0:11:07.760 --> 0:11:11.760 be perpetually motivated to do the thing that creates the result, 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:15.960 then the chances of me creating the result, creating the change, 0:11:16.000 --> 0:11:19.760 becoming the person that I want to be, or achieving 0:11:19.800 --> 0:11:22.520 the thing I want to achieve pretty much slip to 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:27.880 zero zero chance, because I'm only going to do the 0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:30.000 thing when I'm in the zone or motivated or inspired, 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:32.120 and I'm never going to be perpetually that. So when 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:33.439 we're motivated, when we're. 0:11:33.240 --> 0:11:39.040 Expired, inspired expired, when we're inspired, when we're excited, then 0:11:39.160 --> 0:11:41.319 of course we double down and we go fuck ere, 0:11:41.400 --> 0:11:43.440 I'm flying, and we double down and we do what 0:11:43.480 --> 0:11:44.040 we need to do. 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:46.160 But also when we come out the other side of 0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:49.560 that U four X state, we go, ah, fucking he fuck. 0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:52.640 My head hurts, my back hurts. It's a Tuesday, it's gold. 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:55.480 I don't want to get out of bed. The kids 0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:57.480 have giving me a grief. The dog did a shit 0:11:57.559 --> 0:12:00.319 on the front lawn. I'm fucking hating live. Yeah, but 0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:03.600 I'm still going to do my run. Yeah, I'm still 0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:05.840 going to write that page that I need to for 0:12:05.880 --> 0:12:08.000 that thing. I'm still going to read those ten pages 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:10.560 of that book. I'm still going to show up for 0:12:10.640 --> 0:12:13.680 that workout with old mate. I'm still going to stay 0:12:13.760 --> 0:12:17.199 true to the commitment I made because it's a commitment 0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:21.760 that's not dependent on a particular emotional state. Number one 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:24.600 is motivation. Number two is I'll try and be briefer 0:12:25.080 --> 0:12:28.320 because I can fucking whiffle. Number two you've all heard 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:31.120 me talk about, and that is just our willingness to 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:34.360 get uncomfortable. Now that this doesn't mean we've got to 0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:39.160 be a massachist. This doesn't mean we've got to you know, 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:42.800 constantly run into the fire. This doesn't mean that we've 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:48.640 got to be the ongoing alpha male or alpha female. 0:12:49.160 --> 0:12:52.040 It just means that we are going to have to 0:12:52.080 --> 0:12:55.000 do some shit that isn't fun, that isn't quick, that 0:12:55.120 --> 0:13:00.760 isn't painless, that isn't convenient. It will be physically and mentally, 0:13:00.880 --> 0:13:07.080 and perhaps socially, and perhaps emotionally and perhaps financially uncomfortable 0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:10.640 at times, but we recognize that this is the price 0:13:10.720 --> 0:13:12.840 that I need to pay to get the outcome. I 0:13:12.880 --> 0:13:15.040 want to do the thing, I want to change the thing. 0:13:15.040 --> 0:13:17.880 I want to become the person I want to become. 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:22.480 We all know that a lot of people don't when 0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:25.160 it comes to our body. A lot of people just 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:27.480 don't do the work. They don't do the runs, they 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:30.400 don't lift the weights, they don't change the eating habits 0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:33.320 or the dietary habits. They don't do the things that 0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:36.160 they know that they should do, not because they don't 0:13:36.240 --> 0:13:40.000 have the capacity or the ability, but because it's fucking hard. 0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:44.280 It's fucking Have you seen that little kid and it's 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:47.480 fucking hard? Or what does he say? It's a fucking 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:51.720 dark or anyway, I'm distracting myself. But this is our 0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:54.600 challenge is to say, all right, well I'm not motivated. Also, 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:59.960 this thing kind of sucks. Nonetheless, that's okay. And also 0:14:01.320 --> 0:14:03.240 we don't need to love it. We don't need to 0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:06.080 love the process. When people go to me, oh, look, 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:08.280 I really don't enjoy going to the gym, I'm going 0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:10.360 I go good, you don't need to and they look 0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:16.200 at me like I'm fucking weirdo. Because that Why would 0:14:16.240 --> 0:14:18.440 you go if you don't enjoy it? Well, you go 0:14:18.520 --> 0:14:22.760 because it fucking works. You go because it produces the result. 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:28.080 You go because it creates the change you wants. Not 0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:31.240 everything has to be fucking enjoyable. And this is one 0:14:31.280 --> 0:14:36.080 of the mindsets that is so self limiting, so self destructive, 0:14:36.760 --> 0:14:40.480 Such an emotional and psychological prison is this. I won't 0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:42.840 fucking do it if it's not fun, Well, good luck 0:14:42.880 --> 0:14:46.880 doing life, because life's a cunt. Sometimes life is so 0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:50.880 fucking hard. Good luck doing life. If you are constantly 0:14:50.960 --> 0:14:55.560 choosing easy. If easy and comfortable and familiar and certain 0:14:55.800 --> 0:14:57.760 is your I'm getting on my high horse, I realize 0:14:57.760 --> 0:14:59.880 as I'm doing this, But anyway, fuck, let's keep going. 0:15:00.360 --> 0:15:04.280 If this is your default setting, then then when the 0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:08.280 pain comes, when the uncertainty comes, when the rejection comes, 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:12.040 when the separation comes, when the problem comes, when the 0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:16.560 illness comes, when the hardship comes, you will fucking disintegrate 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:20.000 because you haven't done things that make you resilient. What 0:15:20.200 --> 0:15:23.640 makes you resilient is leaning into the comfort, not in 0:15:23.680 --> 0:15:28.880 a reckless way, in a strategic way. Steps down off soapbox. 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:33.720 Lowes's voice change his tone. Number three metacognition. What is that? 0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:36.640 You know? What that is? I am a big fan 0:15:36.800 --> 0:15:40.200 of you understanding how you think and why you think 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:43.440 the way that you think. I'm a big fan of 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:46.120 you being able to discern between the thing that's just 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:49.720 gone on around you or to you, or because of you, 0:15:49.920 --> 0:15:53.600 or despite you, in front of you, and your story 0:15:53.880 --> 0:15:57.800 about that thing. Your capacity to be able to separate 0:15:57.880 --> 0:16:02.880 the stimulus the external thing with internal correlating story. That's 0:16:02.880 --> 0:16:05.680 the story that you create based on your programming and 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:08.640 genetics and the window through which you view the world 0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:12.200 and beliefs and values and experiences. Right, you are constantly 0:16:12.280 --> 0:16:18.280 creating a subjective experience with your mind. A thing happens, 0:16:18.480 --> 0:16:21.840 you interpret the thing, and then that thing becomes your 0:16:21.920 --> 0:16:24.160 version of reality. This is not good or bad or broken. 0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:27.480 This as humans, So it is. I think it's really 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:30.640 important that we are going to chuck another one on 0:16:30.720 --> 0:16:34.360 top of metacognition. So metacognition, as you all know by now, 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:37.680 is thinking about thinking. But I still think we don't 0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:39.760 do it. I still think most of us don't. Why 0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:41.840 am I reacting this way? Why am I feeling this? 0:16:41.960 --> 0:16:44.720 Where is this story coming from? And this is not 0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:47.880 about self loathing. This is about self awareness, so that 0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:53.120 when I understand me better, when I understand my mind better, 0:16:53.200 --> 0:16:56.880 when I understand my stories better, when I understand my 0:16:57.080 --> 0:17:03.800 choices and behaviors and outcomes better, then I can manage 0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:07.359 me better. I can optimize me better. I can become 0:17:07.440 --> 0:17:12.800 the high performer because I'm starting to understand myself. I believe, 0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:17.000 brothers and sisters. I believe that a lot of people 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:20.200 travel through life not even fucking knowing who they are, 0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:26.040 not understanding themselves, not even thinking about their beliefs, which 0:17:26.080 --> 0:17:29.679 is number four. What are your beliefs and where did 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:33.119 they come from? Do your beliefs empower you or do 0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:36.480 they disempowering you? Do that disempower you? Do they propel 0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:40.000 you forward? Do they hold you back? Are they a strength? 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:43.159 Are they a limitation? Did you choose them? Did you 0:17:43.320 --> 0:17:48.160 consciously choose your beliefs or did you unconsciously adopt your 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:53.560 beliefs from someone or something else? Most of us, me included, 0:17:54.880 --> 0:17:58.080 we kind of wake up metaphorically one day in our life, 0:17:58.119 --> 0:18:01.240 and now we're twenty thirty, and now we're forty, and 0:18:01.280 --> 0:18:03.479 we've got all of these beliefs that we didn't choose, 0:18:04.359 --> 0:18:10.560 and some of those beliefs are massively limiting, massively self limiting. 0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:13.320 So this is not to say we need to let 0:18:13.400 --> 0:18:16.040 go of all our current beliefs and go on a 0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:18.320 treasure hunt for a bunch of new ones. It means 0:18:19.400 --> 0:18:22.480 perhaps we need to think about thinking meta cognition number three, 0:18:22.560 --> 0:18:24.920 and we need to reflect on our beliefs and think 0:18:24.960 --> 0:18:28.919 to ourselves, is there any chance that this belief that 0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:35.000 I didn't actually choose is not true? Is there any 0:18:35.119 --> 0:18:39.520 chance this is flawed or partly flawed? Is there any 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:44.840 chance that I am holding on to this belief that 0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:49.000 I didn't choose, not because it's true or right, but 0:18:49.119 --> 0:18:54.480 because it's familiar, But because if I question this belief, 0:18:54.680 --> 0:18:58.520 especially among my friends and family who all share this belief, 0:18:59.320 --> 0:19:05.040 I'm going to be seen as bad or a defector 0:19:05.440 --> 0:19:09.760 or a problem, and I'm going to feel guilty. I'm 0:19:09.760 --> 0:19:13.400 going to feel guilty because I'm questioning what I've been 0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:19.199 taught and told and trained and programmed and coerced to believe. Well, 0:19:20.080 --> 0:19:23.200 that is not you being you, That is you being 0:19:23.200 --> 0:19:26.040 a version of them, And that is that is not 0:19:26.280 --> 0:19:30.160 believing something because you had a personal revelation or light 0:19:30.240 --> 0:19:33.720 bulb or understanding or moment in time, and then moved 0:19:33.880 --> 0:19:38.560 forward with this personal revelation. This is you aligning to 0:19:38.680 --> 0:19:43.159 certain ideologies and thoughts and behaviors and beliefs because you 0:19:43.400 --> 0:19:46.320 feel compelled to and you want to stay part of 0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:50.320 the group. All I'm going to say to you is 0:19:50.400 --> 0:19:54.520 think about that. I'm going to say, think about whether 0:19:54.600 --> 0:19:58.280 or not your beliefs are yours one. Think about two 0:19:59.200 --> 0:20:01.159 whether or not they're prepar telling you forward or holding 0:20:01.200 --> 0:20:05.359 you back. And think about whether or not your whole 0:20:05.440 --> 0:20:11.280 identity is tied in with certain beliefs. And because your 0:20:11.320 --> 0:20:15.879 identity is tied in with certain beliefs, you are absolutely 0:20:16.160 --> 0:20:20.119 unteachable unless the thing that I'm trying to teach you 0:20:20.280 --> 0:20:24.000 aligns with your current belief and that's number five. Number 0:20:24.040 --> 0:20:26.720 five is being I'm going to say, it's two things. 0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:33.240 It's being teachable and it's being courageous enough to unlearn. 0:20:34.440 --> 0:20:36.240 There have been so many things over my life that 0:20:36.280 --> 0:20:39.879 I've had to unlearn. There have been so many things 0:20:39.880 --> 0:20:45.679 that I thought were true that aren't. And there have 0:20:45.720 --> 0:20:49.600 been times when I really pushed back because I thought, 0:20:49.640 --> 0:20:53.840 I it's not I believe I believe, but I absolutely 0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:56.960 I mean I really fucking believed, like I thought, there 0:20:57.000 --> 0:21:01.320 was absolutely no chance that I will. That's wrong. Well, 0:21:01.320 --> 0:21:07.359 that's a pretty precarious psychological position to take because when 0:21:07.440 --> 0:21:11.800 you think, you know, even if we go with religion, 0:21:11.840 --> 0:21:14.120 I'm sorry to bring the old chest Nutter nut up, 0:21:14.119 --> 0:21:17.399 but it's not about religion. Remember, it's about thinking. So 0:21:17.480 --> 0:21:19.520 when you realize that they are in the ballpark of 0:21:19.560 --> 0:21:23.080 four thousand religions in the world ballpark depending on what 0:21:23.119 --> 0:21:27.240 research you look at, but let's go three to four thousand, 0:21:27.720 --> 0:21:30.119 and there's about twelve major religions in the world. And 0:21:30.160 --> 0:21:32.520 then in the middle of all of that diversity of 0:21:32.560 --> 0:21:37.000 theology and psychology and sociology and beliefs and history and texts. 0:21:37.080 --> 0:21:41.080 And you think, now again, this about thinking, and this 0:21:41.160 --> 0:21:43.800 is about beliefs, and this is about mindset. You think 0:21:43.840 --> 0:21:50.000 that you are connected to the one true book or 0:21:50.040 --> 0:21:53.199 you have got the hotline to whoever or whatever it 0:21:53.280 --> 0:21:57.560 is that's running the show, not everyone else. And so 0:21:57.760 --> 0:22:00.600 therefore when we think, as I did for many years, 0:22:00.680 --> 0:22:03.439 I absolutely thought that the group, let's just go with 0:22:03.520 --> 0:22:06.000 the group that I was in. I one hundred percent 0:22:06.040 --> 0:22:09.080 thought that that we are we are the one true 0:22:09.119 --> 0:22:12.400 We've got the truth. We've got the capital T. We've 0:22:12.400 --> 0:22:15.760 got the truth, not a warded down version of the truth. 0:22:16.160 --> 0:22:18.640 And even the other people who kind of inhabit our 0:22:18.760 --> 0:22:24.560 overall religion, you know, they have different doctrines, they're different denominations, 0:22:24.600 --> 0:22:27.000 they're different groups, and they're kind of in the ballpark, 0:22:27.040 --> 0:22:29.280 but they're not us, And to be honest, they're kind 0:22:29.280 --> 0:22:35.040 of wrong. Wow. Fuck, imagine going through life without actual 0:22:35.119 --> 0:22:39.920 evidence or data being that arrogant. And I was that arrogant. 0:22:39.960 --> 0:22:45.080 I was unteachable. So for us to question our beliefs now, 0:22:45.280 --> 0:22:47.840 by the way, I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm saying 0:22:48.160 --> 0:22:50.800 you could be wrong. By the way, you could have 0:22:50.840 --> 0:22:53.480 a certain idea or faith or belief and it could 0:22:53.480 --> 0:22:56.040 be completely I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm saying, when 0:22:56.080 --> 0:23:01.840 we think we're infallible, when we believe we can't be wrong, 0:23:03.680 --> 0:23:06.399 there should be fucking alarm bells going off on planet 0:23:06.440 --> 0:23:13.240 you these days. I assume every day, I assume I 0:23:13.280 --> 0:23:16.440 will say probably at least one thing, but many things 0:23:16.440 --> 0:23:20.199 that are either completely or untrue or flawed. And I 0:23:20.240 --> 0:23:24.720 don't say it because I'm making shit up or I'm 0:23:25.000 --> 0:23:27.399 trying to mislead anyone. I say it because that's what 0:23:27.480 --> 0:23:30.400 I believe to be true at the time, and then 0:23:30.480 --> 0:23:33.959 later on I find out I was wrong. So often 0:23:34.000 --> 0:23:37.000 when I will say something, I will preface it with listen, 0:23:37.040 --> 0:23:43.000 this is in research or science. I don't absolutely, unequivocally 0:23:43.240 --> 0:23:46.199 know this, but this is what I think, based on 0:23:46.280 --> 0:23:49.480 my journey, based on my experiences, based on my interaction, 0:23:50.000 --> 0:23:53.560 based on the research I've done, based on what I 0:23:53.720 --> 0:23:57.520 have been through. These are my thoughts, these are my ideas, 0:23:57.640 --> 0:24:03.600 These are my works in progress around this particular thing. 0:24:05.080 --> 0:24:11.719 Number six. Number six is courage. People are scared of 0:24:12.680 --> 0:24:17.000 being scared. I think. In fact, I heard Tom Cruise 0:24:17.000 --> 0:24:20.280 say this, so I'm definitely not taking credit for it. 0:24:20.359 --> 0:24:23.800 He said, he said, I'm scared all the time, I'm fearful, 0:24:24.520 --> 0:24:26.119 and that for me was a bit of a you know, 0:24:26.320 --> 0:24:28.600 is he a weirdo? I don't know. You make your 0:24:28.600 --> 0:24:33.119 own judgment. Is he weird? I don't care. But he 0:24:33.240 --> 0:24:36.080 said something that really resonated with me is that I 0:24:36.080 --> 0:24:38.760 get scared all the time, but I'm not scared of 0:24:38.760 --> 0:24:42.479 being scared. I'm not scared of being scared. And the 0:24:42.480 --> 0:24:47.760 only place, the only place that courage can exist is 0:24:47.800 --> 0:24:53.320 in the presence of being scared, in the presence of fear. Now, 0:24:53.400 --> 0:25:00.320 think about think about a life where we have no courage. 0:25:01.080 --> 0:25:05.640 Then every time something scares us, it's in control. We're 0:25:05.640 --> 0:25:12.400 not in control. It will determine what we do, not us. 0:25:13.160 --> 0:25:15.800 It will it will run the show, It will make 0:25:15.840 --> 0:25:19.480 the decisions, it will choose the behaviors, the actions and reactions. 0:25:20.000 --> 0:25:22.640 Because in the middle of the fear, I am dominated, 0:25:23.040 --> 0:25:26.439 or I am paralyzed, or I am controlled by that fear. 0:25:27.080 --> 0:25:30.920 I am not suggesting at all that you be fearless. 0:25:32.240 --> 0:25:36.040 You won't be fearless. I won't be fearless. By the way, 0:25:36.119 --> 0:25:38.600