1 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:06,880 Speaker 1: I get a team. It's harps Hope, you're bloody terrific. 2 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:10,440 Speaker 1: Welcome to another installing you project. It's sad diavo. As 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 1: I'm recording this, it's four forty two in the PM. 4 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,439 Speaker 1: While that would coincide with afternoon, Craig. Yet good. Good 5 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 1: that you pointed that out, because people wouldn't have known that. Lucky, 6 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: I'm here. Fuck it, he fuck and start again. No, 7 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:27,320 Speaker 1: that's what we're doing. We're just going to keep rolling. 8 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: Today is a what is today? It's kind of a 9 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,320 Speaker 1: it's kind of a coaching session of it. It's a 10 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,640 Speaker 1: one on one in that you are the one, I 11 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:39,200 Speaker 1: am the other one, unless you're listening with a group 12 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,199 Speaker 1: of friends, and if you are, that's weird. It's a 13 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,600 Speaker 1: one on one you and me. It's all around you 14 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:53,559 Speaker 1: optimizing you, and specifically me helping you optimize you. So 15 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:58,840 Speaker 1: one of the things that I often talk about in 16 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 1: my corporate stuff, in my work with teams and schools 17 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 1: and athletes and you know, people with addictions and the 18 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 1: cross section of humans that I work with, is this 19 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:16,039 Speaker 1: idea of high performance. Now, typically when we think about 20 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:20,200 Speaker 1: we okay, typically when many people think I guess I 21 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 1: can't speak globally. But when many people think about high performance, 22 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:27,040 Speaker 1: we talk about people who do great in the performing 23 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:33,680 Speaker 1: arts or sport, or business or politics, or they have 24 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 1: some kind of standout skill or quality or attribute and 25 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:42,400 Speaker 1: they're producing amazing outcomes. And they could be, you know, 26 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 1: a high level academic, or they could be flying the 27 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 1: space shuttle, or they could be winning gold medals or 28 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 1: curing cancer or singing at the Grammars or whatever. That 29 00:01:54,960 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 1: is not my That is ae kind of description. I 30 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: guess my description, or my definition of a high performer 31 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:08,239 Speaker 1: is anyone you me, anyone who's getting the most out 32 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 1: of themselves. Anyone who can find a way to use 33 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:17,880 Speaker 1: most of or perhaps a lot more than the typical 34 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:21,200 Speaker 1: person or the average or the in terms of using 35 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 1: what they have got to work with. So it's not 36 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:30,239 Speaker 1: about being rarely gifted or innately amazing or talented, or 37 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,239 Speaker 1: you just came out of the womb and you could 38 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 1: run one hundred miles an hour and you could speak 39 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 1: nineteen languages and you had a four hundred IQ and 40 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: you could sing like a goddesk. No, it's none of that. 41 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:46,280 Speaker 1: It's about how well can you operationalize or use or 42 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:50,000 Speaker 1: optimize whatever it is that you have to work with. 43 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:53,359 Speaker 1: So for me, that is the definition of a high performer. 44 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 1: One of my favorite, if not my favorite high performers 45 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,919 Speaker 1: in the world, is Mary Margaret Harper, my beautiful mother, 46 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,760 Speaker 1: who's five foot thing in the morning, four foot eleven 47 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 1: at night, and who weighs forty odd kilos and who's 48 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 1: just a weapon, who at almost eighty six and having 49 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:17,400 Speaker 1: battled multiple battles or multiple rounds of cancer I should say, 50 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:22,799 Speaker 1: lung cancer, bowel cancer, had a heart attack, currently looking 51 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,720 Speaker 1: after a husband who's you know, has his peaks and 52 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 1: troughs and days and works with the old people, voluntarily 53 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,799 Speaker 1: helping the old people, which is fucking hilarious because she's 54 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:37,000 Speaker 1: older than Moses. But anyway, don't tell her I said that. 55 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 1: Love her. But she just finds a way to do 56 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 1: good stuff for herself and for others. Not that she's 57 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 1: flawless or perfect, or not that she never has a moment, 58 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 1: she has plenty of those. But in the middle of 59 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:56,400 Speaker 1: you know what is not the easiest life or the 60 00:03:56,560 --> 00:04:01,120 Speaker 1: easiest situation, my mum ten to find a way. My 61 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,560 Speaker 1: mum tends to every time I talk to her. She 62 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 1: makes me laugh every time, she's cheeky, every time she 63 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 1: has a dig at me about something in a fun, motherly, 64 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 1: loving way at eighty five point nine years old. And 65 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 1: I just so for me, that is, can you get 66 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: the most out of or are you getting the most 67 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 1: out of what you've got to work with? If not 68 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:28,520 Speaker 1: the most, like more than perhaps you have previously. So 69 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:33,160 Speaker 1: my version of that for me is, am I optimizing 70 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,040 Speaker 1: what I've got, like my genetics and my brain and 71 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:39,040 Speaker 1: my resources and my time and my physical and mental 72 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:43,000 Speaker 1: and emotional energy? And do I do good things? And 73 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 1: do I produce some good outcomes? And am I of 74 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: value to the world and people? Am I of service? 75 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 1: And am I doing something constructive, productive, practical and helpful 76 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 1: for others? Am I doing that? And I don't always 77 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,919 Speaker 1: do that, but I think I do that most of 78 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 1: the time. I also fuck up often, But so that 79 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:14,720 Speaker 1: is me trying to be the best version of me. So, oh, 80 00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:17,359 Speaker 1: I didn't intend talk of that long. So one of 81 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 1: the things that I often run through in a presentation, 82 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:26,080 Speaker 1: not so much in a keynote presentation because we're pressed 83 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 1: for time, but more a workshop two or three, our 84 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:32,680 Speaker 1: workshop perhaps all day I'm heading to thriving metropolis of 85 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,160 Speaker 1: is it mill Jury. Yes, I'm heading to Meal during 86 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 1: next week and I'm doing nearly a whole day with 87 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,120 Speaker 1: a group up there, and it's a day like that 88 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 1: where we might dig in to what I'm about to 89 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,159 Speaker 1: dig into. So one of the questions that I ask 90 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:53,719 Speaker 1: is and I have about nearly a hundred of these 91 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,000 Speaker 1: things I'm about to talk about on my list. I 92 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:59,760 Speaker 1: may open the door wider at another stage, but I 93 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:03,720 Speaker 1: talk about what are the skills, qualities, attributes, habits, and behaviors. 94 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 1: I'll say it again, what are the skills, qualities, attributes, 95 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 1: habits and behaviors of high performers. Now I've spoken about 96 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 1: everything I'm about to talk about. I have spoken about 97 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,839 Speaker 1: at times over the last seven years and the almost 98 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 1: two thousand episodes. So if you've listened to everything and 99 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 1: you know me well, and you know my content well, 100 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 1: and you maybe can't get any more out of me, 101 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 1: this might not be for you. It might be a revision, 102 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,280 Speaker 1: it might be a reminder, it might be a prompt 103 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 1: that might be a kick in the btom. I think 104 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,720 Speaker 1: that's French for us, the tom. You're very welcome. I'm 105 00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:43,760 Speaker 1: super fucking cultured you can all tell, or for some 106 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,800 Speaker 1: of you who are you are, this might be a 107 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,800 Speaker 1: revelation a revelation, It might be a pulling back of 108 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 1: the curtain. It might be new stuff for you to 109 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:55,360 Speaker 1: think about. So I'm going to talk to you about 110 00:06:55,480 --> 00:07:03,120 Speaker 1: ten variables or ingredients or things that influence our ability 111 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,520 Speaker 1: to be able to live in that high performance space. 112 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 1: Ready you ready? All right? So you may or may 113 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 1: not want to write this down. I like to. And 114 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 1: obviously if you're in the car driving, look, I mean 115 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:23,400 Speaker 1: I'm no expert, but probably don't write. Probably don't do that. 116 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 1: But for those of you who go, you know, I 117 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,400 Speaker 1: want to learn something, I want to jot it down, 118 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,760 Speaker 1: I want to unpack it a little bit later, I 119 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 1: want to lean into it. And even for you people 120 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 1: who are coaches and mentors and teachers and speakers in 121 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,280 Speaker 1: your own rights, and I know a lot of you 122 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 1: listen to me, why would you do that? But anyway, thanks, 123 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:45,320 Speaker 1: These are ten rock solid things that I talk to 124 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:48,920 Speaker 1: people about that really can move the needle on whether 125 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 1: or not you can optimize you, whether or not you 126 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 1: can live a version your own version of high performance. 127 00:07:55,760 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 1: Now number one is now number one is our ability 128 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 1: to keep doing the work, to roll up our sleeves, 129 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:09,840 Speaker 1: to be courageous and to be proactive and productive, and 130 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:13,280 Speaker 1: to do what we need to do even when we 131 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 1: can't be bothered. So it's to be able to outlast 132 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 1: our motivation for my choices and my behaviors and my 133 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:27,240 Speaker 1: actions and my plan and my commitment and my ongoing 134 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:32,240 Speaker 1: vision and process. To be able to outlast that initial 135 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 1: burst of motivation. For many people, it's not a revelation. 136 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 1: But let's just remind ourselves. From many people, motivation is 137 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 1: a sometimes thing. It comes and goes. I would say 138 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,760 Speaker 1: for most people, it's motivation is a sometimes thing. For me. 139 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: And to be clear, I'm defining here in this chat 140 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:53,640 Speaker 1: motivation as an emotional state, a psychological state where we 141 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:59,480 Speaker 1: have a heightened sense of focus and attention and energy. 142 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 1: And in that place of heightened emotional and psychological focus 143 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 1: and energy, we make a decision, we take action, and 144 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:10,200 Speaker 1: we're pumped. We're in the zone, we're excited, we're doing 145 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 1: shit because we're motivated, and it's all fucking laughs and giggles, 146 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:17,600 Speaker 1: and then three days later we're not motivated anymore. That 147 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 1: initial phase, that emotional and psychological state that we were 148 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:25,240 Speaker 1: in that we call motivation for whatever reason, probably because 149 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,840 Speaker 1: we're human, not because we're bad or broken or terrible, 150 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:31,200 Speaker 1: probably because we're human. Somewhere between a day later and 151 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:36,120 Speaker 1: ten days later, for many people, the motivation either wanes, 152 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 1: it subsides somewhat, or it completely vanishes, never to be 153 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,560 Speaker 1: seen again, or never to be seen for quite a while. 154 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:48,400 Speaker 1: So what is the skill, what is the capacity? What 155 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:53,240 Speaker 1: is the attribute that we want? In this space? We 156 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:56,559 Speaker 1: want to be the person who can keep fucking doing 157 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:59,640 Speaker 1: the work when it's not fun. We want to be 158 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:09,479 Speaker 1: the person who can keep applying ourselves, rolling up our sleeves, refocusing, recommitting, redoing, 159 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,120 Speaker 1: so to keep climbing the mountain when we don't feel 160 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:17,240 Speaker 1: like climbing the mountain, when that motivation, that emotional and 161 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:21,079 Speaker 1: psychological state that we got in, has passed. And in fact, 162 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:25,839 Speaker 1: I would say for many people, the ability to be 163 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 1: able to keep doing the work when most people would 164 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:32,240 Speaker 1: have stopped, to be able to step up when most 165 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:36,080 Speaker 1: people would have given up by now, to be able 166 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:42,599 Speaker 1: to override that feeling or that idea or that compulsion 167 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:47,200 Speaker 1: to give up, I think it's almost at the top 168 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:51,160 Speaker 1: of the list, because we seem to be I say we, 169 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:56,360 Speaker 1: and seem as a collective observation of mine, we seem 170 00:10:56,440 --> 00:11:02,200 Speaker 1: to be somewhat dependent on feeling like it. And so 171 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,280 Speaker 1: if I have to feel like it or I have 172 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:07,720 Speaker 1: to be excited about it constantly, if I need to 173 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 1: be perpetually motivated to do the thing that creates the result, 174 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:15,960 Speaker 1: then the chances of me creating the result, creating the change, 175 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,760 Speaker 1: becoming the person that I want to be, or achieving 176 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,520 Speaker 1: the thing I want to achieve pretty much slip to 177 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:27,880 Speaker 1: zero zero chance, because I'm only going to do the 178 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:30,000 Speaker 1: thing when I'm in the zone or motivated or inspired, 179 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,120 Speaker 1: and I'm never going to be perpetually that. So when 180 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:33,439 Speaker 1: we're motivated, when we're. 181 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 2: Expired, inspired expired, when we're inspired, when we're excited, then 182 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,319 Speaker 2: of course we double down and we go fuck ere, 183 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,440 Speaker 2: I'm flying, and we double down and we do what 184 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:44,040 Speaker 2: we need to do. 185 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,160 Speaker 1: But also when we come out the other side of 186 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:49,560 Speaker 1: that U four X state, we go, ah, fucking he fuck. 187 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,640 Speaker 1: My head hurts, my back hurts. It's a Tuesday, it's gold. 188 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,480 Speaker 1: I don't want to get out of bed. The kids 189 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,480 Speaker 1: have giving me a grief. The dog did a shit 190 00:11:57,559 --> 00:12:00,319 Speaker 1: on the front lawn. I'm fucking hating live. Yeah, but 191 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,600 Speaker 1: I'm still going to do my run. Yeah, I'm still 192 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 1: going to write that page that I need to for 193 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 1: that thing. I'm still going to read those ten pages 194 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,560 Speaker 1: of that book. I'm still going to show up for 195 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,680 Speaker 1: that workout with old mate. I'm still going to stay 196 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:17,199 Speaker 1: true to the commitment I made because it's a commitment 197 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 1: that's not dependent on a particular emotional state. Number one 198 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 1: is motivation. Number two is I'll try and be briefer 199 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:28,320 Speaker 1: because I can fucking whiffle. Number two you've all heard 200 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: me talk about, and that is just our willingness to 201 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:34,360 Speaker 1: get uncomfortable. Now that this doesn't mean we've got to 202 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:39,160 Speaker 1: be a massachist. This doesn't mean we've got to you know, 203 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,800 Speaker 1: constantly run into the fire. This doesn't mean that we've 204 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:48,640 Speaker 1: got to be the ongoing alpha male or alpha female. 205 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 1: It just means that we are going to have to 206 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:55,000 Speaker 1: do some shit that isn't fun, that isn't quick, that 207 00:12:55,120 --> 00:13:00,760 Speaker 1: isn't painless, that isn't convenient. It will be physically and mentally, 208 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:07,080 Speaker 1: and perhaps socially, and perhaps emotionally and perhaps financially uncomfortable 209 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 1: at times, but we recognize that this is the price 210 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:12,840 Speaker 1: that I need to pay to get the outcome. I 211 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,040 Speaker 1: want to do the thing, I want to change the thing. 212 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 1: I want to become the person I want to become. 213 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 1: We all know that a lot of people don't when 214 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 1: it comes to our body. A lot of people just 215 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 1: don't do the work. They don't do the runs, they 216 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 1: don't lift the weights, they don't change the eating habits 217 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,320 Speaker 1: or the dietary habits. They don't do the things that 218 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:36,160 Speaker 1: they know that they should do, not because they don't 219 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:40,000 Speaker 1: have the capacity or the ability, but because it's fucking hard. 220 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 1: It's fucking Have you seen that little kid and it's 221 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,480 Speaker 1: fucking hard? Or what does he say? It's a fucking 222 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:51,720 Speaker 1: dark or anyway, I'm distracting myself. But this is our 223 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:54,600 Speaker 1: challenge is to say, all right, well I'm not motivated. Also, 224 00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 1: this thing kind of sucks. Nonetheless, that's okay. And also 225 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,240 Speaker 1: we don't need to love it. We don't need to 226 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:06,080 Speaker 1: love the process. When people go to me, oh, look, 227 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,280 Speaker 1: I really don't enjoy going to the gym, I'm going 228 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:10,360 Speaker 1: I go good, you don't need to and they look 229 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:16,200 Speaker 1: at me like I'm fucking weirdo. Because that Why would 230 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,440 Speaker 1: you go if you don't enjoy it? Well, you go 231 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 1: because it fucking works. You go because it produces the result. 232 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:28,080 Speaker 1: You go because it creates the change you wants. Not 233 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,240 Speaker 1: everything has to be fucking enjoyable. And this is one 234 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 1: of the mindsets that is so self limiting, so self destructive, 235 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:40,480 Speaker 1: Such an emotional and psychological prison is this. I won't 236 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,840 Speaker 1: fucking do it if it's not fun, Well, good luck 237 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:46,880 Speaker 1: doing life, because life's a cunt. Sometimes life is so 238 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,880 Speaker 1: fucking hard. Good luck doing life. If you are constantly 239 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 1: choosing easy. If easy and comfortable and familiar and certain 240 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,760 Speaker 1: is your I'm getting on my high horse, I realize 241 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,880 Speaker 1: as I'm doing this, But anyway, fuck, let's keep going. 242 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 1: If this is your default setting, then then when the 243 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 1: pain comes, when the uncertainty comes, when the rejection comes, 244 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:12,040 Speaker 1: when the separation comes, when the problem comes, when the 245 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 1: illness comes, when the hardship comes, you will fucking disintegrate 246 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:20,000 Speaker 1: because you haven't done things that make you resilient. What 247 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,640 Speaker 1: makes you resilient is leaning into the comfort, not in 248 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:28,880 Speaker 1: a reckless way, in a strategic way. Steps down off soapbox. 249 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:33,720 Speaker 1: Lowes's voice change his tone. Number three metacognition. What is that? 250 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,640 Speaker 1: You know? What that is? I am a big fan 251 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:40,200 Speaker 1: of you understanding how you think and why you think 252 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,440 Speaker 1: the way that you think. I'm a big fan of 253 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 1: you being able to discern between the thing that's just 254 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:49,720 Speaker 1: gone on around you or to you, or because of you, 255 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:53,600 Speaker 1: or despite you, in front of you, and your story 256 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,800 Speaker 1: about that thing. Your capacity to be able to separate 257 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:02,880 Speaker 1: the stimulus the external thing with internal correlating story. That's 258 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,680 Speaker 1: the story that you create based on your programming and 259 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,640 Speaker 1: genetics and the window through which you view the world 260 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:12,200 Speaker 1: and beliefs and values and experiences. Right, you are constantly 261 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:18,280 Speaker 1: creating a subjective experience with your mind. A thing happens, 262 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,840 Speaker 1: you interpret the thing, and then that thing becomes your 263 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,160 Speaker 1: version of reality. This is not good or bad or broken. 264 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 1: This as humans, So it is. I think it's really 265 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,640 Speaker 1: important that we are going to chuck another one on 266 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:34,360 Speaker 1: top of metacognition. So metacognition, as you all know by now, 267 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:37,680 Speaker 1: is thinking about thinking. But I still think we don't 268 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,760 Speaker 1: do it. I still think most of us don't. Why 269 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 1: am I reacting this way? Why am I feeling this? 270 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,720 Speaker 1: Where is this story coming from? And this is not 271 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 1: about self loathing. This is about self awareness, so that 272 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:53,120 Speaker 1: when I understand me better, when I understand my mind better, 273 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,880 Speaker 1: when I understand my stories better, when I understand my 274 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:03,800 Speaker 1: choices and behaviors and outcomes better, then I can manage 275 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:07,359 Speaker 1: me better. I can optimize me better. I can become 276 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:12,800 Speaker 1: the high performer because I'm starting to understand myself. I believe, 277 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:17,000 Speaker 1: brothers and sisters. I believe that a lot of people 278 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 1: travel through life not even fucking knowing who they are, 279 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:26,040 Speaker 1: not understanding themselves, not even thinking about their beliefs, which 280 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:29,679 Speaker 1: is number four. What are your beliefs and where did 281 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:33,119 Speaker 1: they come from? Do your beliefs empower you or do 282 00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:36,480 Speaker 1: they disempowering you? Do that disempower you? Do they propel 283 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:40,000 Speaker 1: you forward? Do they hold you back? Are they a strength? 284 00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:43,159 Speaker 1: Are they a limitation? Did you choose them? Did you 285 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:48,160 Speaker 1: consciously choose your beliefs or did you unconsciously adopt your 286 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:53,560 Speaker 1: beliefs from someone or something else? Most of us, me included, 287 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 1: we kind of wake up metaphorically one day in our life, 288 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 1: and now we're twenty thirty, and now we're forty, and 289 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,479 Speaker 1: we've got all of these beliefs that we didn't choose, 290 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:10,560 Speaker 1: and some of those beliefs are massively limiting, massively self limiting. 291 00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:13,320 Speaker 1: So this is not to say we need to let 292 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:16,040 Speaker 1: go of all our current beliefs and go on a 293 00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:18,320 Speaker 1: treasure hunt for a bunch of new ones. It means 294 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:22,480 Speaker 1: perhaps we need to think about thinking meta cognition number three, 295 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,920 Speaker 1: and we need to reflect on our beliefs and think 296 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:28,919 Speaker 1: to ourselves, is there any chance that this belief that 297 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:35,000 Speaker 1: I didn't actually choose is not true? Is there any 298 00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:39,520 Speaker 1: chance this is flawed or partly flawed? Is there any 299 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:44,840 Speaker 1: chance that I am holding on to this belief that 300 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:49,000 Speaker 1: I didn't choose, not because it's true or right, but 301 00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:54,480 Speaker 1: because it's familiar, But because if I question this belief, 302 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:58,520 Speaker 1: especially among my friends and family who all share this belief, 303 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:05,040 Speaker 1: I'm going to be seen as bad or a defector 304 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:09,760 Speaker 1: or a problem, and I'm going to feel guilty. I'm 305 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:13,400 Speaker 1: going to feel guilty because I'm questioning what I've been 306 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:19,199 Speaker 1: taught and told and trained and programmed and coerced to believe. Well, 307 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,200 Speaker 1: that is not you being you, That is you being 308 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:26,040 Speaker 1: a version of them, And that is that is not 309 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:30,160 Speaker 1: believing something because you had a personal revelation or light 310 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,720 Speaker 1: bulb or understanding or moment in time, and then moved 311 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:38,560 Speaker 1: forward with this personal revelation. This is you aligning to 312 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:43,159 Speaker 1: certain ideologies and thoughts and behaviors and beliefs because you 313 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,320 Speaker 1: feel compelled to and you want to stay part of 314 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:50,320 Speaker 1: the group. All I'm going to say to you is 315 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 1: think about that. I'm going to say, think about whether 316 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:58,280 Speaker 1: or not your beliefs are yours one. Think about two 317 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,159 Speaker 1: whether or not they're prepar telling you forward or holding 318 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:05,359 Speaker 1: you back. And think about whether or not your whole 319 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:11,280 Speaker 1: identity is tied in with certain beliefs. And because your 320 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:15,879 Speaker 1: identity is tied in with certain beliefs, you are absolutely 321 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:20,119 Speaker 1: unteachable unless the thing that I'm trying to teach you 322 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:24,000 Speaker 1: aligns with your current belief and that's number five. Number 323 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:26,720 Speaker 1: five is being I'm going to say, it's two things. 324 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:33,240 Speaker 1: It's being teachable and it's being courageous enough to unlearn. 325 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 1: There have been so many things over my life that 326 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,879 Speaker 1: I've had to unlearn. There have been so many things 327 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:45,679 Speaker 1: that I thought were true that aren't. And there have 328 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:49,600 Speaker 1: been times when I really pushed back because I thought, 329 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 1: I it's not I believe I believe, but I absolutely 330 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 1: I mean I really fucking believed, like I thought, there 331 00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:01,320 Speaker 1: was absolutely no chance that I will. That's wrong. Well, 332 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:07,359 Speaker 1: that's a pretty precarious psychological position to take because when 333 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 1: you think, you know, even if we go with religion, 334 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,120 Speaker 1: I'm sorry to bring the old chest Nutter nut up, 335 00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:17,399 Speaker 1: but it's not about religion. Remember, it's about thinking. So 336 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,520 Speaker 1: when you realize that they are in the ballpark of 337 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:23,080 Speaker 1: four thousand religions in the world ballpark depending on what 338 00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:27,240 Speaker 1: research you look at, but let's go three to four thousand, 339 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,119 Speaker 1: and there's about twelve major religions in the world. And 340 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,520 Speaker 1: then in the middle of all of that diversity of 341 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:37,000 Speaker 1: theology and psychology and sociology and beliefs and history and texts. 342 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:41,080 Speaker 1: And you think, now again, this about thinking, and this 343 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,800 Speaker 1: is about beliefs, and this is about mindset. You think 344 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:50,000 Speaker 1: that you are connected to the one true book or 345 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:53,199 Speaker 1: you have got the hotline to whoever or whatever it 346 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:57,560 Speaker 1: is that's running the show, not everyone else. And so 347 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,600 Speaker 1: therefore when we think, as I did for many years, 348 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,439 Speaker 1: I absolutely thought that the group, let's just go with 349 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 1: the group that I was in. I one hundred percent 350 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,080 Speaker 1: thought that that we are we are the one true 351 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:12,400 Speaker 1: We've got the truth. We've got the capital T. We've 352 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:15,760 Speaker 1: got the truth, not a warded down version of the truth. 353 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,640 Speaker 1: And even the other people who kind of inhabit our 354 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 1: overall religion, you know, they have different doctrines, they're different denominations, 355 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,000 Speaker 1: they're different groups, and they're kind of in the ballpark, 356 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,280 Speaker 1: but they're not us, And to be honest, they're kind 357 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:35,040 Speaker 1: of wrong. Wow. Fuck, imagine going through life without actual 358 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:39,920 Speaker 1: evidence or data being that arrogant. And I was that arrogant. 359 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:45,080 Speaker 1: I was unteachable. So for us to question our beliefs now, 360 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:47,840 Speaker 1: by the way, I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm saying 361 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:50,800 Speaker 1: you could be wrong. By the way, you could have 362 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,480 Speaker 1: a certain idea or faith or belief and it could 363 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 1: be completely I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm saying, when 364 00:22:56,080 --> 00:23:01,840 Speaker 1: we think we're infallible, when we believe we can't be wrong, 365 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:06,399 Speaker 1: there should be fucking alarm bells going off on planet 366 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:13,240 Speaker 1: you these days. I assume every day, I assume I 367 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,440 Speaker 1: will say probably at least one thing, but many things 368 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:20,199 Speaker 1: that are either completely or untrue or flawed. And I 369 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:24,720 Speaker 1: don't say it because I'm making shit up or I'm 370 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,399 Speaker 1: trying to mislead anyone. I say it because that's what 371 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:30,400 Speaker 1: I believe to be true at the time, and then 372 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,959 Speaker 1: later on I find out I was wrong. So often 373 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:37,000 Speaker 1: when I will say something, I will preface it with listen, 374 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 1: this is in research or science. I don't absolutely, unequivocally 375 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:46,199 Speaker 1: know this, but this is what I think, based on 376 00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:49,480 Speaker 1: my journey, based on my experiences, based on my interaction, 377 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,560 Speaker 1: based on the research I've done, based on what I 378 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:57,520 Speaker 1: have been through. These are my thoughts, these are my ideas, 379 00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:03,600 Speaker 1: These are my works in progress around this particular thing. 380 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:11,719 Speaker 1: Number six. Number six is courage. People are scared of 381 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 1: being scared. I think. In fact, I heard Tom Cruise 382 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 1: say this, so I'm definitely not taking credit for it. 383 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:23,800 Speaker 1: He said, he said, I'm scared all the time, I'm fearful, 384 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,119 Speaker 1: and that for me was a bit of a you know, 385 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,600 Speaker 1: is he a weirdo? I don't know. You make your 386 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:33,119 Speaker 1: own judgment. Is he weird? I don't care. But he 387 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:36,080 Speaker 1: said something that really resonated with me is that I 388 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,760 Speaker 1: get scared all the time, but I'm not scared of 389 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:42,479 Speaker 1: being scared. I'm not scared of being scared. And the 390 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:47,760 Speaker 1: only place, the only place that courage can exist is 391 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:53,320 Speaker 1: in the presence of being scared, in the presence of fear. Now, 392 00:24:53,400 --> 00:25:00,320 Speaker 1: think about think about a life where we have no courage. 393 00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:05,640 Speaker 1: Then every time something scares us, it's in control. We're 394 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:12,400 Speaker 1: not in control. It will determine what we do, not us. 395 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,800 Speaker 1: It will it will run the show, It will make 396 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:19,480 Speaker 1: the decisions, it will choose the behaviors, the actions and reactions. 397 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,640 Speaker 1: Because in the middle of the fear, I am dominated, 398 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:26,439 Speaker 1: or I am paralyzed, or I am controlled by that fear. 399 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:30,920 Speaker 1: I am not suggesting at all that you be fearless. 400 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:36,040 Speaker 1: You won't be fearless. I won't be fearless. By the way, 401 00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:38,600 Speaker 1: Am I ever a big fucking baby? Am I ever 402 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:39,040 Speaker 1: a coward? 403 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:39,480 Speaker 2: Sure? 404 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 1: Am still? Am I more courageous than I used to be? 405 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:44,840 Speaker 1: I think? 406 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:45,200 Speaker 2: I am? 407 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:49,880 Speaker 1: I think I am? Am I comfortable with discomfort? Am 408 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:53,520 Speaker 1: I comfortable with fear? Am I comfortable with uncertainty? Am 409 00:25:53,560 --> 00:26:00,560 Speaker 1: I comfortable with being embarrassed? And with failing? I'm sometimes comfortable, 410 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,280 Speaker 1: sometimes not. But I'm always willing to be all of that, 411 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:09,000 Speaker 1: and that requires courage. And I'm not less fearful than 412 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:12,000 Speaker 1: I think the typical person. I think I probably have 413 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:16,840 Speaker 1: as much fear as the typical person. But I know 414 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:21,119 Speaker 1: that a big part of my growth, my learning, my development, 415 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:29,200 Speaker 1: my resilience comes from being courageous and doing things that 416 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:33,080 Speaker 1: if it was only about what I'm feeling, if it 417 00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:36,240 Speaker 1: was only about you know, whether or not I'm fearful 418 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:40,359 Speaker 1: or not fearful, I wouldn't do these things. So being 419 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:44,719 Speaker 1: able to recognize that scares the fuck out of me. Also, 420 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,720 Speaker 1: that's okay. Also, I'm going to be brave. I'm going 421 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,199 Speaker 1: to be courageous. Could I get hurt? Yep? Could I 422 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:53,520 Speaker 1: get devastated? Yep. Now I'm not talking about this kind 423 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,400 Speaker 1: of courage. I'm not talking about doing reckless things. I'm 424 00:26:56,400 --> 00:27:04,040 Speaker 1: talking about being courageous in an intelligent, strategic, practical way 425 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:12,560 Speaker 1: to create a positive outcome. Number seven is controlling our controllables. 426 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,960 Speaker 1: I feel like your honor. Notice I'm saying I feel 427 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:21,800 Speaker 1: like or it's my experience. It's my observation that many, many, 428 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:25,119 Speaker 1: many people waste a lot of time and energy and 429 00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:35,560 Speaker 1: effort and focus and potential talent on things they can't control. Winging, sooking, bitching, complaining, 430 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:42,840 Speaker 1: attention seeking, sympathy seeking through things that are out of 431 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:48,480 Speaker 1: their control, or even having things that are in their 432 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:52,880 Speaker 1: control that they won't do anything about because it's hard. 433 00:27:53,480 --> 00:28:00,639 Speaker 1: But I guess my main asterisk point here is focusing 434 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:05,159 Speaker 1: our physical, mental, and emotional energy on things that we 435 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:09,320 Speaker 1: can't control, and wasting our physical, mental and emotional energy 436 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:13,199 Speaker 1: on the things that are within our control. So there 437 00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:17,560 Speaker 1: are things that happen around me, things that affect me. 438 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:22,840 Speaker 1: Things in the media, the social media, the weather, the government, 439 00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:26,280 Speaker 1: are the human beings, certain outcomes, shit with the bank, 440 00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:29,760 Speaker 1: shit with bah bah bah with the real estate, with 441 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:34,399 Speaker 1: the market, with this, things that affect my life that 442 00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:39,680 Speaker 1: I know I can at very best have a tiny, 443 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:43,720 Speaker 1: if any influence over. Usually it's none because it's the 444 00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:47,160 Speaker 1: macro and I'm in the micro. So what I can 445 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:50,040 Speaker 1: do is I can go, all right, well, that's gonna happen. 446 00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:53,479 Speaker 1: I can't change that. But what can I change in 447 00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:57,840 Speaker 1: reaction or response to that? What is in my control. 448 00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:01,520 Speaker 1: What's in my control is not what happened this morning. 449 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,920 Speaker 1: It's done, it's dusted, it's out of the way. It's history, 450 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,120 Speaker 1: it's a past event. But what I can control is 451 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,520 Speaker 1: what I do now off the back of that thing 452 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:15,320 Speaker 1: that I didn't want to happen. I can control my words. 453 00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 1: I can control my responses, my interactions, what I post 454 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:22,920 Speaker 1: on social media, what I don't. There are many times 455 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:25,240 Speaker 1: over the years. There have been many times over the 456 00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:31,200 Speaker 1: years where I have really wanted to vent about something, 457 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:36,040 Speaker 1: and maybe a few times I have, but generally ninety 458 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:39,680 Speaker 1: nine times out of one hundred, I will think about 459 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:41,800 Speaker 1: that thing. I will think about how I'm going to 460 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,520 Speaker 1: verbalize it. I might even write all of it or 461 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,960 Speaker 1: part of it down. And then I get to the 462 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:51,280 Speaker 1: point where my emotions subside somewhat and I say, essentially, 463 00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,320 Speaker 1: what is the point of what I'm doing? Will it 464 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:58,120 Speaker 1: change anything? Am I looking for sympathy? Am I looking 465 00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:03,640 Speaker 1: for attention? And often the answer is yes. And I 466 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:08,720 Speaker 1: will make a decision, a higher level consciousness decision to 467 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:13,400 Speaker 1: not waste any more time on that. I'm going to 468 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:15,520 Speaker 1: focus on what's in my control. I'm going to invest 469 00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:18,880 Speaker 1: energy and what's in my control, and I'm going to 470 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:22,960 Speaker 1: try and have that bigger thinking. Number eight is we're 471 00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:28,440 Speaker 1: on the home straight. Number eight is that we tend 472 00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:33,520 Speaker 1: to ask a lot of us ask redundant, pointless, unhelpful questions. 473 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,280 Speaker 1: Oh why does this always happen to me? Depends how 474 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:39,680 Speaker 1: it's asked, I guess, but how come he can eat 475 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:41,480 Speaker 1: whatever he wants and I look at food and I 476 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,480 Speaker 1: gain weight and blah blah blah. Right, they're not really 477 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:50,160 Speaker 1: questions that want actual practical solutions. They're questions that want 478 00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:54,520 Speaker 1: attention or sympathy or a little bit of emotional support. 479 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:58,600 Speaker 1: All understandable. But what I was going to say, what 480 00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:00,360 Speaker 1: we know is but I'm going to say what I 481 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,680 Speaker 1: know is based on my experience. Let's do that. I'm 482 00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:04,800 Speaker 1: going to say what I know based on my experience 483 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:08,280 Speaker 1: is when I genuinely ask, and the people that I've 484 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:12,760 Speaker 1: worked with genuinely ask better questions, we put ourselves in 485 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:21,440 Speaker 1: a more solution focused, practical headspace when I make When 486 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:25,120 Speaker 1: I ask better questions, I get more clarity, I get 487 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:30,320 Speaker 1: more perspective, I get more objectivity, hard thing to get, 488 00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,760 Speaker 1: as we all live a subjective life with subjective experiences. 489 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:39,120 Speaker 1: But I get more awareness and clarity and context. And 490 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:44,800 Speaker 1: then after I've asked questions which are meaningful and intelligent, 491 00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:49,160 Speaker 1: I tend to make better decisions. And when I make 492 00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:52,400 Speaker 1: better decisions off the back of those better questions, then 493 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:56,400 Speaker 1: I tend to do better things. When I ask better questions, 494 00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:58,719 Speaker 1: I make better decisions, I do better things, and I 495 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:03,560 Speaker 1: create better outcomes, So there's there. Well, there can be 496 00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:07,000 Speaker 1: a direct correlation between the quality of the question that 497 00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:11,400 Speaker 1: you ask and the outcome that you produce, And of course, 498 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:14,320 Speaker 1: the outcomes that we produce in our world, to a 499 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:21,040 Speaker 1: large extent, determine the quality of our personal experience. When 500 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:24,239 Speaker 1: I am producing better outcomes based on the genesis, that 501 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:28,040 Speaker 1: was a better question, I'm producing better outcomes in my 502 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:32,800 Speaker 1: world now I am inhabiting a better psychological, emotional, and 503 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:40,200 Speaker 1: experiential reality. So it starts with questions, is this a 504 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:44,120 Speaker 1: great question? This ties in with number nine, which I 505 00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:46,480 Speaker 1: maybe should have gone with something bit different, But these 506 00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:50,360 Speaker 1: do tie in very closely, and that is that is 507 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:55,280 Speaker 1: the capacity to be solution focused. I feel like a 508 00:32:55,320 --> 00:33:00,200 Speaker 1: lot of people are so concerned with the problem, so 509 00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:04,360 Speaker 1: all about the problem, so invested in the problem, that 510 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:09,400 Speaker 1: they're never really truly trying to find a solution because 511 00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:13,920 Speaker 1: talking about the problem gives them attention, it gives them sympathy, 512 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:17,760 Speaker 1: it gives them some kind of emotional and or psychological 513 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,880 Speaker 1: reward that works for them, So they'll just keep bang 514 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:23,520 Speaker 1: on about the problem. They'll just keep that shit up 515 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:27,240 Speaker 1: because it feeds some kind of a need in them. 516 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:31,560 Speaker 1: And while I understand that that is not something that 517 00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:33,800 Speaker 1: we want to be all about, we do not want 518 00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:36,520 Speaker 1: to be about that. So here's what we want. We 519 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:39,040 Speaker 1: want to acknowledge the problem. Of course, we're not pretending 520 00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:43,440 Speaker 1: there aren't problems. Okay, what's the problem. Well, the problem 521 00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:50,360 Speaker 1: is that every time I talk in a meeting, old 522 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,960 Speaker 1: mate talks over the top of me, and it's disrespectful. 523 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:57,040 Speaker 1: And so then when old mate talks over the top 524 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,240 Speaker 1: of me in our staff meetings and I'm up the front, 525 00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,520 Speaker 1: now he's given me the shits. Now I want to 526 00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:03,360 Speaker 1: talk to you about him and what a dickhead is 527 00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:06,520 Speaker 1: and how he doesn't pay attention and I'm the bus 528 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,719 Speaker 1: and it's disrespectful and blah blah, blah blah. And then 529 00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:12,560 Speaker 1: an hour later I come up for fucking air because 530 00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:16,160 Speaker 1: I'm so consumed with this problem. Whereas if in the 531 00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:19,520 Speaker 1: first place I've said I had a gone, you know what, 532 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,600 Speaker 1: in this environment, in this situation, this thing keeps to 533 00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:27,839 Speaker 1: the keeps happening. I don't like it. It's not great. 534 00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:29,359 Speaker 1: It's not good for me, it's not good for him, 535 00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:31,760 Speaker 1: it's not good for the group. So here's what I think. 536 00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,920 Speaker 1: Here's what I think. I think I might catch up 537 00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:36,840 Speaker 1: with him for a coffee. I just want to have 538 00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:38,279 Speaker 1: a chat to him. I don't want to throw him 539 00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:40,319 Speaker 1: under the bus. I'm just going to catch up and 540 00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,680 Speaker 1: talk to him. Or I know that he trains, maybe 541 00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:47,960 Speaker 1: we'll do a workout together, or or or or. Now 542 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,600 Speaker 1: I'm coming up with one, two, three, four, five, ten 543 00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:55,759 Speaker 1: potential solutions. I've recognized the problem, I've articulated it, I've 544 00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,120 Speaker 1: spoken about it for one or two minutes, and now 545 00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:02,440 Speaker 1: I'm all about resolving the problem. I'm all about being 546 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:07,799 Speaker 1: solution focused. You are going to in your life the 547 00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:09,640 Speaker 1: course of your life. Over the course of your life, 548 00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:11,720 Speaker 1: you are going to be the number one problem solver 549 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:18,919 Speaker 1: on planet you. I think, to an extent, how well 550 00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:22,000 Speaker 1: we can do life, to an extent, is about how 551 00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:25,080 Speaker 1: well we can solve problems like big and small. Every 552 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:27,799 Speaker 1: day we're solving problems. Every day, we're figuring shit out. 553 00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,880 Speaker 1: Every day, things happened that wasn't what we wanted or 554 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:34,960 Speaker 1: planned or needed, big and small, like tiny and drastic 555 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,440 Speaker 1: and life changing. But nonetheless, you know, in the middle 556 00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:41,960 Speaker 1: of that that problem, in the middle of that event 557 00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:43,960 Speaker 1: or that thing that we didn't want to happen. 558 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:44,640 Speaker 2: There we are. 559 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:49,680 Speaker 1: There, you are the little solution find. You fucking solution finder. 560 00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:49,920 Speaker 2: You. 561 00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:56,840 Speaker 1: Last one is gratitude. Just because it sounds cheesy and smarmy, 562 00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:03,319 Speaker 1: I guess maybe it doesn't, but for me, you know, 563 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,799 Speaker 1: three hours ago, I got home from the gym. I 564 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:07,879 Speaker 1: trained with the Crab, my training partner, and John, who 565 00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:09,840 Speaker 1: I've spoken to you about many times. I'm sorry to 566 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,800 Speaker 1: bore you with the John story, but you know, me 567 00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:19,000 Speaker 1: being around people who have challenges that are in my 568 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:25,120 Speaker 1: mind almost like unimaginable, you know, like he has so 569 00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:30,799 Speaker 1: many physical and other but physical problems. Let's just stay 570 00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:36,319 Speaker 1: with that, you know. And he's in constant pain. And 571 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,560 Speaker 1: I saw him today for an hour and I trained 572 00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:40,480 Speaker 1: him and I trained with him, and I help him 573 00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:42,080 Speaker 1: around the gym and I set him up and I 574 00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:46,080 Speaker 1: help him move and sit and stand, and you know, 575 00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:50,800 Speaker 1: it's a very very hands on experience. And like, firstly 576 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,120 Speaker 1: working with him, obviously, I don't charge him when I 577 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:57,680 Speaker 1: say working with him, being with him, helping him, training him, 578 00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:01,120 Speaker 1: serving him, gives me just so much joy. And I'm 579 00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:03,479 Speaker 1: not saying that because, oh it makes harp sound good. 580 00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:07,480 Speaker 1: It gives me so much fucking joy, right, I'd rather 581 00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:11,640 Speaker 1: train him than you know, a super talented olympian. I 582 00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:13,799 Speaker 1: would rather train John to not say I don't like 583 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:17,000 Speaker 1: training Olympians. I've trying to bunch their good. But probably 584 00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:19,920 Speaker 1: the most rewarding work that I've ever done with anybody 585 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:24,000 Speaker 1: or any human is that dude. And so for me, 586 00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:26,640 Speaker 1: one of the things that I love about my life, 587 00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:28,960 Speaker 1: which sounds weird what I'm about to say, is that 588 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:35,120 Speaker 1: I'm constantly, if not very regularly around people who have 589 00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:40,480 Speaker 1: it shit physically, mentally, emotionally, financially. They're on struggle street. 590 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:44,640 Speaker 1: They are really challenged. And every time I come away 591 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:47,360 Speaker 1: one I hope that I've been of value. I hope 592 00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:50,240 Speaker 1: that I've done something good. I hope that I've helped 593 00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:53,719 Speaker 1: in a way. But every time I come away, I 594 00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:57,680 Speaker 1: just I'm grateful, like I just have even though I 595 00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,520 Speaker 1: know my life is good, you know, And I've spoken 596 00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:03,120 Speaker 1: many times about how amazing is it that I can 597 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:06,160 Speaker 1: sit in a chair and then stand up. I can walk, 598 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,680 Speaker 1: I can talk, I can see, I can hear. I 599 00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:12,040 Speaker 1: can turn on a tap and get cold water. I 600 00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,400 Speaker 1: can press a button and the room gets warm or cold. 601 00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:18,080 Speaker 1: You know, I can walk upstairs. I can just I 602 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,160 Speaker 1: can walk down the street. Know that I'm not going 603 00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:23,120 Speaker 1: to get bombed. I can, you know. I mean, fuck, 604 00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:26,960 Speaker 1: my life is amazing. I don't deserve my life. I 605 00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:30,040 Speaker 1: don't deserve my life. I just happened to be born 606 00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:32,120 Speaker 1: in the right place at the right time. I didn't 607 00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:36,200 Speaker 1: earn it. I was gifted this life. And so for me, 608 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:38,239 Speaker 1: that is why this is a gift. This is not 609 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:41,959 Speaker 1: something that I deserve. I don't fucking deserve my life. 610 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:45,360 Speaker 1: I didn't do anything. I just I had great parents, 611 00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,759 Speaker 1: so I grew up with great friends. I grew up 612 00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:49,960 Speaker 1: in a great area. I live in a great place. 613 00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:52,919 Speaker 1: And is there bad shit going on in the world? 614 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,400 Speaker 1: Of course? Has there always been bad shit going on 615 00:38:56,440 --> 00:39:00,360 Speaker 1: in the world? Of course? And I'm not, like I 616 00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,399 Speaker 1: said before, my head is not in the sand. I'm 617 00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:05,640 Speaker 1: not pretending there are no bad things, no problems. But 618 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:09,800 Speaker 1: I know this when I look at the world through 619 00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:14,960 Speaker 1: a lens of gratitude. Also, yes, reason and logic and practicality. 620 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,560 Speaker 1: But when I look at my life, when I look 621 00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:21,120 Speaker 1: at the world through that, and the opportunities I have, 622 00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:25,200 Speaker 1: like right now, I'm talking to you. This is part 623 00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:32,399 Speaker 1: of my job. You can probably discern that I enjoy 624 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:34,960 Speaker 1: doing this. This is not a hardship. This is not 625 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:38,680 Speaker 1: me just wheeling out some bullshit because I have an 626 00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:43,440 Speaker 1: obligation to put up a podcast. This is me speaking 627 00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:46,319 Speaker 1: from the heart, going to you who most of you 628 00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:48,719 Speaker 1: I've never met. Thank you, Thank you for supporting this. 629 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:52,760 Speaker 1: Thank you. I feel lucky that people listen. I feel 630 00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:57,680 Speaker 1: blessed that I have sponsors. I feel so much gratitude 631 00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:03,160 Speaker 1: for all of the stuff that I didn't and don't deserve. 632 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:05,640 Speaker 1: Now that I'm not saying I don't do any work 633 00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:07,960 Speaker 1: and I don't create any results. Of course I do, 634 00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:12,480 Speaker 1: but there's so much of my life that is just 635 00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:15,520 Speaker 1: a gift. It's not a result of something that I've 636 00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:19,880 Speaker 1: done or deserved. So gratitude. Gratitude definitely makes my top 637 00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:27,160 Speaker 1: ten high performance ingredients. Ah wow, I think I need food. 638 00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,600 Speaker 1: Love your guts, See you next time.