Speaker 1: Before we jump into this episode, I want to let
Speaker 1: you know about something new I've created just for you now.
Speaker 1: I've been interviewing health and wellbeing experts for more than
Speaker 1: a decade and one question I get asked all the
Speaker 1: time is what brands do you actually use and trust?
Speaker 1: So I decided to make it easy. I've created and
Speaker 1: curated a wellbeing marketplace featuring products from brands I genuinely
Speaker 1: love and have discovered through the years of conversations with
Speaker 1: leading experts. Think of it as your shortcut to better
Speaker 1: choices without having to do all the research yourself. Head
Speaker 1: to maritzabarone dot com forward slash loves to explore my
Speaker 1: favorite brands and enjoy exclusive discounts along the way. Just
Speaker 1: for you, Let's live better together. Welcome back to the podcast.
Speaker 1: Thank you for being here on things you can't un
Speaker 1: here now. Usually on this podcast, I speak to the
Speaker 1: person who is what I believe to be person, someone
Speaker 1: who is ultimately kind hearted, who wants the best for
Speaker 1: others and shows empathy when others are struggling, and who
Speaker 1: also wants to be the best they can be for themselves.
Speaker 1: I have this somewhat glass half full view of the
Speaker 1: world where I see good in people first, and I
Speaker 1: like to believe that most people are good, kind humans.
Speaker 1: But unfortunately, I've come to see this a lot lately,
Speaker 1: that this world is also filled with people who don't
Speaker 1: want the best for others. I've been noticing it a lot,
Speaker 1: mostly on social media recently, and also on Facebook community posts,
Speaker 1: where people literally don't know each other, but they might
Speaker 1: share a particular concern they have and they're met with rude, nasty, uncompassionate,
Speaker 1: and unhelpful comments that are really truly hurtful and for
Speaker 1: no good reason. So today I want to talk about this,
Speaker 1: about why people find the need to project their own
Speaker 1: negativity onto others. This is an opportunity for people people
Speaker 1: to potentially identify this and if they are finding themselves
Speaker 1: in a loop of negativity that they are relaxing onto
Speaker 1: the world, this could potentially be a way to let
Speaker 1: go of that. Because when we project negativity onto others,
Speaker 1: it really is a reflection of how we feel within ourselves.
Speaker 1: It's an opportunity to walk over to the mirror and
Speaker 1: say to ourselves, deep down, what is it that has
Speaker 1: made me feel so bitter about others and my view
Speaker 1: of life? I'm saying this with so much love and
Speaker 1: compassion for people who are in this space. And I've
Speaker 1: spoken to spiritual teacher after spiritual teacher who has the
Speaker 1: view that we are all connected as one, So hurting
Speaker 1: others is ultimately hurting ourselves. When we judge other people
Speaker 1: or when we hurt them to make ourselves feel better,
Speaker 1: it's not actually about the other person, It's about us,
Speaker 1: and that might be hard with some people to hear.
Speaker 1: So if you're seeing this too, if you're seeing other
Speaker 1: people lash out on others for no good reason, or
Speaker 1: if you have noticed yourself even doing it, it really
Speaker 1: is an opportunity to ask the questions to understand why
Speaker 1: you might react in this way towards people. The questions
Speaker 1: I'd be asking is what is lacking in my life?
Speaker 1: Where can I look at my past or even my
Speaker 1: current life situation to see what is causing me to
Speaker 1: be bitter and where I could possibly make changes to
Speaker 1: help me have a more peaceful state of mind. I
Speaker 1: am not a psychologist, but I am deeply interested and
Speaker 1: curious about what it is that makes minds tick, and
Speaker 1: I am certain that people behave in these bitter ways
Speaker 1: most of the time. To complete strangers for no good
Speaker 1: reason because they are unhappy with their own current state.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's not the people around us that need to change,
Speaker 1: Maybe it's us. Amazing practice I ever did was to
Speaker 1: list my life to finding moments. These were significant life
Speaker 1: milestones or even conversation like key conversations I'd had in
Speaker 1: my life that had stayed with me. But I think
Speaker 1: we can go a little bit further than just listing
Speaker 1: our life to finding moments. I think we can list
Speaker 1: the beliefs that we may have inherited because of these moments.
Speaker 1: Beliefs about love, belief about others, beliefs about ourselves, about money,
Speaker 1: about helping people, about whether you think people are generally
Speaker 1: kind or evil. Maybe you were ripped off with money
Speaker 1: at some stage of your life and now you feel
Speaker 1: like everyone's out to get you. Maybe your partner was
Speaker 1: unfaithful to you, and now you believe every person you
Speaker 1: date is untrustworthy. Maybe you keep getting rejected and believe
Speaker 1: you're not good enough. These are beliefs that we can inherit,
Speaker 1: And when we think about this belief and what it
Speaker 1: makes you do, and how it makes you think or
Speaker 1: how makes you act in the world, that's where the
Speaker 1: real power is. If we snipe at people, if we
Speaker 1: attack strangers on Facebook posts, if we verbally abuse people
Speaker 1: in the car next to us for making a mistake,
Speaker 1: these are keys to understanding our beliefs. These things happen
Speaker 1: at times. Of course, we might be tired, we might
Speaker 1: be having about day. But if this is our common
Speaker 1: state of mind, maybe we need to stop and do
Speaker 1: the work on ourselves. Because the tools are out there.
Speaker 1: There really are. They're in podcasts like this, they're in
Speaker 1: becoming more aware of your actions. They're in seeking professional
Speaker 1: help in some way. Like I said, this is not
Speaker 1: just for the sake of others. This is literally for
Speaker 1: the sake of yourself and your own happiness, because no
Speaker 1: one really wants to be miserable if they can choose
Speaker 1: a different option, and unfortunately, misery likes company. Detaching ourselves
Speaker 1: from our own misery really can be done by figuring
Speaker 1: out why you are so miserable in the first place,
Speaker 1: and being aware that you're miserable in the first place.
Speaker 1: We might actually just be lonely. We might be unwell,
Speaker 1: we might be bored. We might most likely be frustrated
Speaker 1: with something that is not going the way we want
Speaker 1: it to. And if that is the case, it's okay,
Speaker 1: or it's going to be eventually. But it's humans sharing
Speaker 1: the same space we call Earth and having to inhabitate
Speaker 1: the same planet. Perhaps we can all just be a
Speaker 1: little bit softer with those around us. We don't know
Speaker 1: what others are going through and what might tip people
Speaker 1: over the edge with unnecessary nastiness. And if you listen
Speaker 1: to this podcast and you've heard it for a long time,
Speaker 1: you hear it in my intro. My wish is to
Speaker 1: inspire people to become the happiest, healthiest, kindest version of themselves.
Speaker 1: And even one small act of kindness goes so far
Speaker 1: in the lives of others, and unfortunately, so does the
Speaker 1: flip side of that. You know. I said to my
Speaker 1: friend last week, I said, I see the best in
Speaker 1: people too easily because something happened in a different way
Speaker 1: to how I expected it to with someone else in
Speaker 1: my life. And she said, but that's what we love
Speaker 1: about you. And I don't ever want to change the
Speaker 1: way that I see good in people. It's who I am,
Speaker 1: it's who I want to continue to be, and I
Speaker 1: want people to understand that the good in them is
Speaker 1: actually stronger than the need to bring other people down,
Speaker 1: and if listening to this helps us reflect on some
Speaker 1: of our own behaviors that might need tweaking. In other words,
Speaker 1: if we are pulling people down on a Facebook group
Speaker 1: by leaving dirty remarks, maybe we can think about how
Speaker 1: we can be better. We can choose to become more aware,
Speaker 1: we can question the stories we've inherited, we can get help,
Speaker 1: and we can decide that whatever has happened to us
Speaker 1: doesn't get to determine who we become. I'm going to
Speaker 1: continue personally surrounding myself with good humans and reducing the
Speaker 1: amount of time that I read any of these comments
Speaker 1: or subject myself to unnecessary negativity. But it definitely is
Speaker 1: out there, and if this can reach someone who might
Speaker 1: need to take a little bit of reflection on themselves,
Speaker 1: then I hope it lands in the way it's supposed to. Now.
Speaker 1: Unrelated to this reflection, last week, we had a very
Speaker 1: popular episode drop with the renowned sports physiologists doctor Stacy Simms.
Speaker 1: We talked about the new have around peptides, how women
Speaker 1: train to get the best results, and how to maximize
Speaker 1: our health span. If you haven't tuned in yet make
Speaker 1: sure you hit play on that episode you love it,
Speaker 1: and I'll leave the link in the show notes for you. So,
Speaker 1: as always, what I say to everyone when I sign
Speaker 1: off be happy, be healthy, be conscious, and be kind