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Speaker 1: Approache Production.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Secrets of the Underworld. I am Neil the

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Speaker 2: Muscle Cummings and in this episode, I speak with Gabby Tuft,

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Speaker 2: a former WWE wrestler, who opens up about life inside

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Speaker 2: the wrestling world.

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Speaker 3: I didn't get along with a lot of the vets.

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Speaker 3: I just didn't take shit, you know, that was me.

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Speaker 3: I'm just like, I don't take shit from anybody.

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Speaker 1: I mean, there are lights everywhere, it's blinding.

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Speaker 3: You just can't see anything. You just look like, oh

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Speaker 3: my God, like what's happening. And there's a sea of

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Speaker 3: people I would see every day shake their hand like hey, bro,

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Speaker 3: what's up?

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Speaker 1: And it never hung out with them, and they just

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Speaker 1: they're just trashed me after as soon as they found

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Speaker 1: out I transitioned. I wanted to get so big and

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Speaker 1: intimidating that nobody would work with me. And that's basically

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Speaker 1: what happened. And the bigger I got, the less people

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Speaker 1: with me.

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Speaker 2: Gabby, thank you for coming on my podcast. I really

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Speaker 2: appreciate this.

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Speaker 1: My pleasure. Thank you for having me.

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Speaker 2: Before we get into all the nitty Grizzy, let's talk

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Speaker 2: about you growing up as a child and your family.

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Speaker 2: You're bringing friends and how you got to be in

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Speaker 2: the w W, which is fucking amazing. I like that

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Speaker 2: was that was my fucking dream. But I can I

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Speaker 2: wasn't think enough.

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Speaker 3: Today It's not easy and it was crazy because like

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Speaker 3: I grew up watching wrestling. I think, like every kid

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Speaker 3: of the eighties, I was born in nineteen seventy.

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Speaker 1: Eight, so like my era was you know, whole Corgan

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Speaker 1: Mancha Man, like Brudeus the Barber, like all those guys.

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Speaker 1: And I used to beg my dad to.

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Speaker 3: Like, let me call in on the hotline and he

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Speaker 3: was just like, nah, no way, you ain't doing that, kid,

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Speaker 3: Let's cost money. And I was like, so short version

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Speaker 3: is when I was a teenager, I kind of fell

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Speaker 3: out of it, and I, you know, I realized it's wrestling, like,

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Speaker 3: you know, should it real?

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Speaker 1: So uh oh, really I didn't know that.

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Speaker 2: And I didn't know that.

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Speaker 1: Santa Claus and the Eastern Money are both real too.

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Speaker 1: Somebody saying someone that was the wind.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, when I was like a teenager, I thought

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Speaker 3: it was kind of nerdy, and so I just stopped

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Speaker 3: watching it. After I got married, we moved to southern California,

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Speaker 3: and my wife at the time, she opened this personal

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Speaker 3: training center. It wasn't a gym, like an open gym

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Speaker 3: is just personal training. And then suddenly a mile down

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Speaker 3: the road somebody opened up a gym, and her and

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Speaker 3: I are like, oh crap, man, we're toast like we're

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Speaker 3: just a small little studio.

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Speaker 1: I like, I think we had like fourteen hundred square feet.

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Speaker 3: It was tiny. And we're just like, this is the

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Speaker 3: end of our business. So we go, why don't we

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Speaker 3: go meet the owner? But maybe we can network, you know,

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Speaker 3: And so we went down and then it's this short,

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Speaker 3: funny looking bald dude and his name's Rick Basman. And

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Speaker 3: I'll circle back to that in a minute because actually

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Speaker 3: we've been friends now for twenty fricking years and he's

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Speaker 3: actually my current business partner in my current company. But

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Speaker 3: we meet this short, funny looking bald dude. We go, hey,

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Speaker 3: so do you do you do personal training? Says no,

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Speaker 3: I'm just a gym. And I go, oh, cool, well

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Speaker 3: we do personal training.

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Speaker 1: We're not a gym.

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Speaker 3: How about we you know, people need a gym, weill

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Speaker 3: son you son them to us. He's like that's great.

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Speaker 3: So we got to be great friends. Come to find out,

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Speaker 3: Rick is one of the biggest names in the wrestling

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Speaker 3: world and the mixed martial arts world. He was the

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Speaker 3: person that found Ultimate Warrior, Sting John Cena, the Miz

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Speaker 3: Molina Morrison.

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Speaker 1: Like the names go on like it just goes on, and.

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Speaker 3: So I didn't really realize the people we were hanging

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Speaker 3: out with as we got to be, you know, really

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Speaker 3: good friends. It was guys like Tom Howard and Sylvester Turque.

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Speaker 3: And then suddenly Rick's like, hey, what are you doing

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Speaker 3: right now? I just got out of the water one day.

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Speaker 3: I was surfing and he goes, well, once you coming

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Speaker 3: down to the gym, I got a bunch of scouts

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Speaker 3: here for wrestling. I know you don't watch, but once

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Speaker 3: you just come out, let him have a look. Okay,

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Speaker 3: why guys, Well, the worst thing that happened is that

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Speaker 3: they don't like the way you look and you just

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Speaker 3: go home and no, no harm, no foul.

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Speaker 1: The best thing that happened is you walk with a contract.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay. So I go up to his Jim

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Speaker 1: and he had a ring in the middle of his gym.

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Speaker 1: You know, I always thought it was like boxing and stuff.

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Speaker 3: I had no idea it was like a wrestling ring

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Speaker 3: and I walked There's like forty guys in their full

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Speaker 3: gimmicks like boots and underwear.

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Speaker 1: They're bumping around and I just was like, what the

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Speaker 1: did I just walk into with this mess?

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Speaker 3: And at that time, Bucci was there with John Laureniis

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Speaker 3: and they pulled me in the back and they're like, hey, look,

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Speaker 3: we know you don't know anything about this. Just watch

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Speaker 3: see what goes on tonight. Let's get you in the

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Speaker 3: ring tomorrow. And you know, when nobody's here, I'm like, okay, cool.

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Speaker 3: So I watched that was kind of cool. Came back

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Speaker 3: the next day. I didn't have two left feet, which

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Speaker 3: was great, and they said, he well, let's go for

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Speaker 3: a real tryout. So they sent me to Georgia to

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Speaker 3: Deep South. I was there for five days, got the

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Speaker 3: crap beat out of me, like multiple days every time

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Speaker 3: I was in that ringer at the piss beat out

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Speaker 3: of me. But they liked me, and they said, hey,

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Speaker 3: just keep training with Rick. We'll keep an eye on you.

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Speaker 3: And about eight months later, I was at the Staples

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Speaker 3: Center with Rick and Laura and Iis pulls me the back.

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Speaker 3: He's like hey, I got to talk to him, like okay,

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Speaker 3: so we go in the back office and he goes,

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Speaker 3: you're ready.

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Speaker 1: Am I ready for what? And he just slides this

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Speaker 1: like it looked like a book, like this thing across

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Speaker 1: the table and I'm like, what is that? He goes,

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Speaker 1: that's your contract. I was like what he goes, sending

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Speaker 1: a development? Okay, do I get to read it? He's like,

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Speaker 1: you can read it? You can't Jay Jenny Thing. I'm

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Speaker 1: all right here, you got just sign it. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: let's go.

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Speaker 2: Had you lan to do any of the moves by then?

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Speaker 1: Uh? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: So you know, I had a little less than a

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Speaker 3: year of training at UPW Ultimate Pro Wrestling, It's Rick's place.

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Speaker 3: I learned the basics. I didn't learn to tell a story, yeah,

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Speaker 3: but I learned, you know. I could run the ropes,

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Speaker 3: I could do most of the moves safely. I could

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Speaker 3: put together some basic spots. I had the basic understanding

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Speaker 3: of a match. But when I say basic, I mean

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Speaker 3: like low level understanding of like how to perform.

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Speaker 2: You go on the mic, when you go on the

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Speaker 2: mic to tour, you know, like to.

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Speaker 1: So here's here's the way it worked. And that was

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Speaker 1: the reason they signed me.

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Speaker 3: When the camera light was on they cause they like,

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Speaker 3: I want you to cut a promoment.

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Speaker 1: What is a promo? Man? What are you talking about? Like,

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Speaker 1: I didn't watch wrestling anymore.

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Speaker 3: I had no clue, and so they had me kind

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Speaker 3: of talk a little bit and like hang on, and

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Speaker 3: then Rick's assistant, his name's Todd Kelly.

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Speaker 4: Okay.

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Speaker 3: He goes, okay, Gabby say this and it was like

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Speaker 3: gay back then, and he gave me some lines to

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Speaker 3: say and he's like, kind of say it like this.

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Speaker 3: So I just ate it up and I said exactly

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Speaker 3: what they told me to say and just fired off

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Speaker 3: the best promo they had ever seen their entire life.

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Speaker 1: And they're like, holy shit, and.

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Speaker 3: They go, anytime the red light goes on, this is

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Speaker 3: somebody's first time.

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Speaker 1: They usually step back from the camera.

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Speaker 3: They said, you stepped towards it and you got into it,

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Speaker 3: and they're like, I've never seen anything like that. So

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Speaker 3: I had something that they just knew that like, at

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Speaker 3: this point, this kid's got something. So the funny part

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Speaker 3: is I get to development and that was the only

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Speaker 3: promo I had ever cut, and I didn't understand the business.

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Speaker 3: I thought people would be writing stuff for me and

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Speaker 3: tell me, you what to say. I was there for

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Speaker 3: like a week and Johnny's there and I think I

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Speaker 3: think Undertakers showed up and they were everybody's cutting promos.

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Speaker 1: It's my turn.

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Speaker 3: I'm like hi, and Johnny's like, hey, you gotta watch

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Speaker 3: this kid. He knows what he's doing and blah blah blah.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, my name's Gabe. I'm a surfer dude. I

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Speaker 3: like to wrestle.

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Speaker 1: And Johnny's like, nah, no, do that, you know, come on, man,

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Speaker 1: stop And I was like, I don't know what you

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Speaker 1: want me to do. Bro.

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Speaker 3: So I think I totally embarrassed him and he was

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Speaker 3: just like, get the fuck out on our ring name.

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Speaker 3: I got totally embarrassed, and I'm like, I don't know, dude,

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Speaker 3: I'm so green.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what the hell is going on.

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Speaker 3: We had a lot of learning to do, but I

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Speaker 3: excelled very quickly at FCW. I was there my first

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Speaker 3: day was February first, two thousand and eight. I made

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Speaker 3: my debut on ECW in May or June of two

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Speaker 3: thousand and nine, so it was it was a quick

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Speaker 3: developmental stint for me.

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Speaker 2: So who came up with the name for you in

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Speaker 2: the wrestling who came up with that one.

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Speaker 3: We had a slew of names in development, and in

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Speaker 3: the beginning we were just using like some of us

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Speaker 3: are using our shoot names. Other people were using and

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Speaker 3: for anybody, I don't know how deep into your your

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Speaker 3: fans are like, for the wrestling lingo, shoot means real.

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Speaker 1: So we're using our real names and.

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Speaker 3: It was okay, And then suddenly we get the office,

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Speaker 3: which is you know, the brass the WWE staff. They're like,

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Speaker 3: you can't use the real names anymore. We have to

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Speaker 3: be able to copyright it and own the intellectual property.

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Speaker 1: So one of the guys at FCW, the development territory,

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Speaker 1: his name is Timmy. He said, guys, I need you

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Speaker 1: to make a list of first names that you like

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Speaker 1: and last names that you like. We're like, what He's like,

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Speaker 1: just give me twenty names that you like. I mean.

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Speaker 1: So we just wrote down like twenty random first names

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Speaker 1: twenty random last names, and they decided to just pick

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Speaker 1: two that they thought they liked that went together.

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Speaker 3: So my first wrestling name was taj Mulano, which lasted

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Speaker 3: about a month. I was like, this is terrible, man,

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Speaker 3: I'm like, what in God's name did you guys?

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Speaker 1: Do to me.

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Speaker 3: Then I was talking to Doc Pritchard and Dusty Rhodes

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Speaker 3: at the time, and all those guys like, I hate

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Speaker 3: this name, this sucks, and you will come up with something.

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Speaker 1: I say, Okay, cool, I can still you that.

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Speaker 3: So my ex wife now Priscilla, and I, if we

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Speaker 3: had had a son, we wanted to name him Tyler.

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Speaker 3: Then we were thinking, well, what about the last name.

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Speaker 3: What's something we can spoon feed the audience, like give

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Speaker 3: it to him without giving it to him. And they're like,

218
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Speaker 3: what about Rex?

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Speaker 1: But what if we changed the spelling so it wasn't

220
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Speaker 1: r ex and we had like a t rex, Like

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Speaker 1: what if you just said r e ks.

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Speaker 3: And so then you know t rex was born. So

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Speaker 3: that's where it came from. So it just it was

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Speaker 3: like a twenty four hour thing where we're just like, hey,

225
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Speaker 3: what if we just played.

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Speaker 1: On this name. It just came out of nowhere, Like Okay,

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Speaker 1: that works.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that's that's cool. But that's some stories. It's it

229
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Speaker 2: so I get peaked to like that's just being at

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Speaker 2: the right place at the right time.

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Speaker 3: Literally, it's it's not about what you know about who

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Speaker 3: you know. It's true serendipity.

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Speaker 2: Like because you watched wrestling as a kid and then

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Speaker 2: you got you kind of went out of it a

235
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Speaker 2: little bit. Well, then to make it a dream come true?

236
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Speaker 2: Was that the ultimate for you?

237
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Speaker 3: No, I didn't realize what I had at the time

238
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Speaker 3: because I just I didn't love wrestling. I loved it

239
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Speaker 3: as a kid, but I grew out of it, and

240
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Speaker 3: I just I didn't love it even when you were performing.

241
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Speaker 3: Oh that's a different story. When I was performing, that's

242
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Speaker 3: when it got in my blood. Like the second I

243
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Speaker 3: walked out in the lights my TV debut, I thought

244
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Speaker 3: I liked it in the small shows, like the independent

245
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Speaker 3: circuit that we did in development, because we had to

246
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Speaker 3: do all these shitty bar shows and stuff. And I

247
00:10:09,081 --> 00:10:11,361
Speaker 3: didn't realize most guys had to run that circuit the

248
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Speaker 3: MNS before they got signed. I just thought everybody got

249
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Speaker 3: picked and they went to development like I did. I

250
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Speaker 3: didn't understand. But when I debut on ECW, this is

251
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Speaker 3: why we do what we do, it just it changed

252
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Speaker 3: everything and I fell in love with it, but I

253
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Speaker 3: still it just like it didn't click the whole time

254
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Speaker 3: I was there. It just didn't click. And there's no

255
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Speaker 3: way to clearly articulate that. Except when it came back

256
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Speaker 3: to do my wrestling return about a year and a

257
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Speaker 3: half ago, I wanted back in a WWE or AW

258
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Speaker 3: whoever was going to take me. We had a reality

259
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Speaker 3: show in the works too, We had a we were

260
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Speaker 3: signed to a major production company. It was about my

261
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Speaker 3: return to wrestling. So now I knew, I'm like, this

262
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Speaker 3: is something that can happen. If I want it bad enough,

263
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Speaker 3: I can go get it. So I studied. I watched

264
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Speaker 3: every I watched hours and hours of current WWE, AEW products,

265
00:11:01,841 --> 00:11:04,121
Speaker 3: like every week I was. I was like recording everything,

266
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Speaker 3: watching it back, learning what they were doing, going back

267
00:11:06,881 --> 00:11:09,681
Speaker 3: and watching old stuff on the indies. And every time

268
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Speaker 3: I get in the ring, I had intent. I had

269
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Speaker 3: intent to learn something new, to do something new. I

270
00:11:14,681 --> 00:11:17,201
Speaker 3: knew I had to walk differently than Tyler did. I

271
00:11:17,281 --> 00:11:19,641
Speaker 3: knew I had to strike differently. I knew I had

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00:11:19,641 --> 00:11:21,761
Speaker 3: to be a completely different character. There could be no

273
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Speaker 3: hints of Tyler Rex, like that person was dead to

274
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Speaker 3: the wrestling world. Otherwise it would just be like a

275
00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:31,721
Speaker 3: revision of what I already had and I'd failed before.

276
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Speaker 3: But there was a new love for the sport and

277
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Speaker 3: everything clicked. Every move everything that I did in the

278
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Speaker 3: in the ring had intent. There was a story behind it.

279
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Speaker 3: My character's name was mother, and I wrote a lore

280
00:11:43,281 --> 00:11:46,761
Speaker 3: about her, and I mean I spent countless hours drafting

281
00:11:46,921 --> 00:11:49,161
Speaker 3: almost like a novel about her, and like where she

282
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Speaker 3: came from and where she gets all her her She

283
00:11:51,561 --> 00:11:53,561
Speaker 3: was like kind of like a cult leader, like very psychotic,

284
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Speaker 3: but like she believed she was doing good things. And

285
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Speaker 3: it was so powerful that I knew how she would

286
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Speaker 3: act in any situation. So it was like I was

287
00:12:01,481 --> 00:12:04,481
Speaker 3: literally acting in the ring, where before I was just

288
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Speaker 3: I was just trying to do moves.

289
00:12:05,921 --> 00:12:08,401
Speaker 1: Now I knew my character and I was living that

290
00:12:08,521 --> 00:12:11,001
Speaker 1: character in the ring, which is that that's what clicked.

291
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Speaker 3: Like when there's intent in the ring, everything changes. So

292
00:12:14,121 --> 00:12:16,241
Speaker 3: second time around, I got it. First time around, I

293
00:12:16,281 --> 00:12:18,961
Speaker 3: didn't get it. Now I love it. Now, I miss

294
00:12:19,001 --> 00:12:20,681
Speaker 3: it now. I wish I would I'd done what I

295
00:12:20,721 --> 00:12:23,361
Speaker 3: did this time back in my first run.

296
00:12:23,681 --> 00:12:27,681
Speaker 2: When you actually went into your first time, going down,

297
00:12:28,161 --> 00:12:31,561
Speaker 2: get your name mentioned, going through the crowd, going onto

298
00:12:31,601 --> 00:12:33,601
Speaker 2: that ring, will you stop struck?

299
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:37,801
Speaker 1: Oh God, yes, I don't know what I expected.

300
00:12:38,201 --> 00:12:41,201
Speaker 3: It's crazy when you walk out of that curtain and

301
00:12:41,241 --> 00:12:43,881
Speaker 3: you come around and you know you're on the WW

302
00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:47,041
Speaker 3: stage with the long ramp, and the second you walk out,

303
00:12:47,081 --> 00:12:48,881
Speaker 3: I mean there are lights everywhere.

304
00:12:48,881 --> 00:12:52,161
Speaker 1: It's blinding. You just can't see anything. You just look like,

305
00:12:52,241 --> 00:12:53,881
Speaker 1: oh my God, like what's happening.

306
00:12:53,881 --> 00:12:56,561
Speaker 3: And there's a sea of people and your mind's in

307
00:12:56,761 --> 00:12:59,121
Speaker 3: flow states, so it's like everything's in like slow mo

308
00:12:59,721 --> 00:13:01,681
Speaker 3: and you're trying to suck in as much as possible,

309
00:13:01,721 --> 00:13:04,321
Speaker 3: and I'm expecting the crowd to just like go nuts.

310
00:13:04,321 --> 00:13:07,601
Speaker 3: I'm like, here's this like very handsome, like very built,

311
00:13:07,761 --> 00:13:10,161
Speaker 3: like surfer guy. They've never seen me before. I'm like, Okay,

312
00:13:10,161 --> 00:13:10,881
Speaker 3: they're gonna pop.

313
00:13:11,121 --> 00:13:13,121
Speaker 1: And I walk out. I was like yeah, and I

314
00:13:13,121 --> 00:13:15,721
Speaker 1: did this little like Hangley sting up my hands and

315
00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:21,121
Speaker 1: I'm like all right, and crickets just crickets, like nobody

316
00:13:21,161 --> 00:13:24,641
Speaker 1: made a sound. They're like, whre's this, dude, I've never seen. Wow.

317
00:13:25,201 --> 00:13:27,801
Speaker 3: It was like my heart kind of sank, but at

318
00:13:27,801 --> 00:13:30,841
Speaker 3: the same time, I was all, this is to be expected.

319
00:13:30,841 --> 00:13:33,161
Speaker 1: I had had the shortest match in the world with

320
00:13:33,281 --> 00:13:36,121
Speaker 1: Zach Ryder. With Matt Cardona, I think we had three

321
00:13:36,241 --> 00:13:39,761
Speaker 1: or four minutes with entrances. But when I got in

322
00:13:39,841 --> 00:13:42,241
Speaker 1: there and I heard the crowd pop for Matt, for

323
00:13:42,361 --> 00:13:45,361
Speaker 1: Zach Ryder, and every time he did something, they popped.

324
00:13:45,401 --> 00:13:48,321
Speaker 1: I was like, this is a drug. It's so addicting,

325
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:50,801
Speaker 1: and so I guess you could say, yes, I was

326
00:13:50,921 --> 00:13:51,761
Speaker 1: very starstruck.

327
00:13:51,841 --> 00:13:54,161
Speaker 3: I was there's this, you're taking it all in. There's

328
00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:57,001
Speaker 3: so much going on, there's so much adrenaline. It like

329
00:13:57,081 --> 00:14:00,961
Speaker 3: clouds the brain. And so now I understand why it's

330
00:14:01,001 --> 00:14:04,041
Speaker 3: you know, a decade of experience later and you've done

331
00:14:04,281 --> 00:14:06,841
Speaker 3: thousands of shit, you're just like whatever, I'm out there,

332
00:14:06,881 --> 00:14:08,081
Speaker 3: I own this, I control this.

333
00:14:08,201 --> 00:14:09,161
Speaker 1: It's like it's no big deal.

334
00:14:09,361 --> 00:14:11,641
Speaker 2: It's only it's only when you finished doing something like

335
00:14:11,721 --> 00:14:13,961
Speaker 2: that as a career and you look back on it,

336
00:14:14,041 --> 00:14:16,841
Speaker 2: you go, wow, if only I had taken the lad

337
00:14:16,921 --> 00:14:18,561
Speaker 2: eating when I was doing it, you know what I mean,

338
00:14:18,561 --> 00:14:20,681
Speaker 2: because it finishes just like that, and the click of

339
00:14:20,681 --> 00:14:23,001
Speaker 2: a finger, that career can finish.

340
00:14:23,161 --> 00:14:23,441
Speaker 1: Yeah.

341
00:14:23,721 --> 00:14:26,081
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like everything in hindsight, you know it and

342
00:14:26,121 --> 00:14:28,201
Speaker 3: you don't. I mean, some people appreciate it while they

343
00:14:28,241 --> 00:14:30,521
Speaker 3: have it, but some people just don't understand what they

344
00:14:30,561 --> 00:14:31,401
Speaker 3: have when it's there.

345
00:14:31,761 --> 00:14:34,201
Speaker 1: And I think that was me. I just didn't understand

346
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:36,361
Speaker 1: the business enough, and I didn't.

347
00:14:36,441 --> 00:14:38,721
Speaker 3: I was always thinking, like, why don't they use me,

348
00:14:38,721 --> 00:14:40,681
Speaker 3: Why don't they do something with me? Why don't they help?

349
00:14:40,721 --> 00:14:42,281
Speaker 3: And I was I was always that kid that was

350
00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:44,201
Speaker 3: in the ring. I say kid, but I was thirty.

351
00:14:44,481 --> 00:14:46,201
Speaker 3: I was always that person that was in the ring.

352
00:14:46,241 --> 00:14:47,161
Speaker 3: The second it was set up.

353
00:14:47,201 --> 00:14:47,921
Speaker 1: I was rolling around.

354
00:14:47,961 --> 00:14:50,081
Speaker 3: I was trying to learn new stuff. I was pitching ideas,

355
00:14:50,161 --> 00:14:53,521
Speaker 3: like I did everything I was supposed to do. But

356
00:14:53,641 --> 00:14:56,521
Speaker 3: I think what happened during that time is that was

357
00:14:56,561 --> 00:14:58,681
Speaker 3: the Superstar initiative. That was a time of the new

358
00:14:58,721 --> 00:15:02,321
Speaker 3: Nexus creative with like the writers were getting hired and

359
00:15:02,361 --> 00:15:05,481
Speaker 3: fired and people it was just a machine turning people

360
00:15:05,921 --> 00:15:08,441
Speaker 3: in and out. And it was before Hunter took over

361
00:15:08,561 --> 00:15:11,801
Speaker 3: talent relations and before he became the head of talent development.

362
00:15:12,281 --> 00:15:14,761
Speaker 1: It was when I left that he did an exit

363
00:15:14,801 --> 00:15:15,401
Speaker 1: interview with me.

364
00:15:15,561 --> 00:15:16,881
Speaker 3: And I don't know if it was the first one

365
00:15:16,881 --> 00:15:19,841
Speaker 3: that he did like that, but I basically told Hunter

366
00:15:20,361 --> 00:15:23,081
Speaker 3: all the issues. How do I say this. I've got

367
00:15:23,081 --> 00:15:25,521
Speaker 3: a Bachelor's of Science degree, I'm educated. You know, I

368
00:15:25,601 --> 00:15:28,881
Speaker 3: run businesses. It's like from a business perspective, I told him,

369
00:15:28,881 --> 00:15:31,281
Speaker 3: I said, you know, we've got all these producers that

370
00:15:31,361 --> 00:15:33,361
Speaker 3: are supposed to help you, but they all they all.

371
00:15:33,361 --> 00:15:35,561
Speaker 1: Laugh at you, and they you know, they won't tell you.

372
00:15:35,521 --> 00:15:37,321
Speaker 3: How to get better because they're worried about what the

373
00:15:37,321 --> 00:15:38,361
Speaker 3: other producers are going to say.

374
00:15:38,361 --> 00:15:40,161
Speaker 1: It's like a big ass water cooler back there.

375
00:15:40,521 --> 00:15:42,801
Speaker 3: And so you've got a real problem with talent, Like

376
00:15:42,881 --> 00:15:46,481
Speaker 3: everybody's sitting around getting pissed off, and you're literally sitting

377
00:15:46,521 --> 00:15:49,481
Speaker 3: on gold mines of talent that could be amazing that

378
00:15:49,561 --> 00:15:52,161
Speaker 3: they don't have anybody holding their hand and showing them.

379
00:15:52,361 --> 00:15:54,281
Speaker 3: You may not have had to have that happen for

380
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,481
Speaker 3: you me, or maybe you did, maybe you found your way,

381
00:15:56,521 --> 00:15:58,561
Speaker 3: but you've got a crop of talent sitting in the

382
00:15:58,601 --> 00:16:01,761
Speaker 3: locker room that's begging for help, and instead of getting help,

383
00:16:02,041 --> 00:16:04,321
Speaker 3: people are shitting all over them, and you're just going

384
00:16:04,361 --> 00:16:06,201
Speaker 3: to lose them. And so him and I had a

385
00:16:06,201 --> 00:16:08,481
Speaker 3: great conversation and he basically was like, thank you so much.

386
00:16:08,521 --> 00:16:10,681
Speaker 3: The door's always open for you. We love you man,

387
00:16:10,881 --> 00:16:12,521
Speaker 3: good luck, you know, like we're always here for you.

388
00:16:12,561 --> 00:16:14,721
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, cool. And it was shortly after that

389
00:16:14,721 --> 00:16:18,841
Speaker 3: that we saw Hunter get very very involved in the talent.

390
00:16:18,921 --> 00:16:21,321
Speaker 3: And then you started noticing people were not getting fired,

391
00:16:21,761 --> 00:16:24,961
Speaker 3: but instead we had like he was developing them and

392
00:16:25,001 --> 00:16:28,041
Speaker 3: creating their characters, and the writers started writing for them

393
00:16:28,081 --> 00:16:30,201
Speaker 3: and they had Bray Wyatt was shortly after that, like,

394
00:16:30,841 --> 00:16:32,281
Speaker 3: and you know, everybody came along.

395
00:16:32,321 --> 00:16:33,521
Speaker 1: It was it was just incredible.

396
00:16:33,881 --> 00:16:35,681
Speaker 2: Actually, you know what, You've opened up a little question

397
00:16:35,681 --> 00:16:40,281
Speaker 2: for me. Is it all family orientated backstage? Or do

398
00:16:40,401 --> 00:16:42,561
Speaker 2: not do all the wrestlers not like get on with

399
00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:42,961
Speaker 2: each other.

400
00:16:43,281 --> 00:16:48,001
Speaker 3: Oh no, dude, it's shit shout back there, man. I mean,

401
00:16:48,361 --> 00:16:50,721
Speaker 3: and I can tell you my experience. I don't know

402
00:16:50,761 --> 00:16:51,201
Speaker 3: what it's like.

403
00:16:51,521 --> 00:16:51,881
Speaker 4: Now.

404
00:16:52,241 --> 00:16:55,481
Speaker 3: It's a big water cooler and everybody has their little

405
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:58,001
Speaker 3: clicks and there's a lot of people that don't. I

406
00:16:58,001 --> 00:17:00,241
Speaker 3: didn't get along with a lot of the vets because

407
00:17:00,601 --> 00:17:01,521
Speaker 3: I just didn't take shit.

408
00:17:01,681 --> 00:17:03,081
Speaker 1: You know, that was me. I'm just like I don't

409
00:17:03,121 --> 00:17:04,041
Speaker 1: take shit from anybody.

410
00:17:04,121 --> 00:17:06,281
Speaker 3: And so I think a lot of times they wanted

411
00:17:06,321 --> 00:17:09,041
Speaker 3: me to be like this real humble, quiet person and

412
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:11,641
Speaker 3: just you know, shut your mouth, and I'm like, yeah,

413
00:17:11,761 --> 00:17:12,600
Speaker 3: it doesn't work that way.

414
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,681
Speaker 1: I'm going to stand up for what's right. So yeah,

415
00:17:15,761 --> 00:17:16,440
Speaker 1: it's very clique.

416
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,600
Speaker 2: So is it the bigger you are, the more control

417
00:17:18,681 --> 00:17:20,920
Speaker 2: you've got in that in that in the w W.

418
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:24,600
Speaker 3: Oh absolutely, we're talking about the bigger star power. Yes,

419
00:17:25,001 --> 00:17:28,521
Speaker 3: oh absolutely, yeah, it's it's one hundred percent like that.

420
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:31,041
Speaker 2: So now we now we know that it's all an

421
00:17:31,041 --> 00:17:32,481
Speaker 2: act and it's not for real.

422
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:37,201
Speaker 1: You know you you've done don't for the kids.

423
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:43,201
Speaker 2: You've just heartened me and told me, now, so who arranges?

424
00:17:43,281 --> 00:17:45,440
Speaker 2: So say you've got a title fight coming up, okay,

425
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,961
Speaker 2: and you just turned around and go You've got to lose,

426
00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:50,441
Speaker 2: And you're not happy with that because you know what,

427
00:17:50,561 --> 00:17:52,561
Speaker 2: it's your career here. You want to pull your career.

428
00:17:52,921 --> 00:17:54,241
Speaker 2: Have you just got to take it on the chin

429
00:17:54,281 --> 00:17:55,640
Speaker 2: and just go, well it's not your time?

430
00:17:56,041 --> 00:18:00,001
Speaker 3: Well yes and no, so yes, yes and no. And

431
00:18:00,681 --> 00:18:02,761
Speaker 3: this is where I just took it on the chin. Yeah,

432
00:18:02,761 --> 00:18:04,160
Speaker 3: and now they told me to lose. I was like

433
00:18:04,201 --> 00:18:04,761
Speaker 3: I was a heere.

434
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:06,120
Speaker 1: My job was to.

435
00:18:06,441 --> 00:18:08,321
Speaker 3: Get people pissed off at me, and then most of

436
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,080
Speaker 3: the time I lost, but we had a good match

437
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,721
Speaker 3: and that's all that mattered. What we do see is

438
00:18:12,761 --> 00:18:14,480
Speaker 3: that you can only have a person lose for so

439
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:17,640
Speaker 3: long before their opportunity of being a star is gone,

440
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,001
Speaker 3: because like, if they never win, why would the crowd

441
00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:24,041
Speaker 3: support us, you know. So what I've found is that

442
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:27,520
Speaker 3: the people that politic, people that go and say something

443
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,920
Speaker 3: and you know a bitch about it, or would go,

444
00:18:30,201 --> 00:18:32,120
Speaker 3: you know, talk to the producers, would do what do

445
00:18:32,201 --> 00:18:32,440
Speaker 3: they do?

446
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,201
Speaker 1: They weren't losing as much.

447
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:37,440
Speaker 3: So, you know, somebody like me, when I tried to

448
00:18:37,481 --> 00:18:39,120
Speaker 3: talk to them, I was there was like shut up

449
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:39,801
Speaker 3: and do the job.

450
00:18:39,761 --> 00:18:40,720
Speaker 1: Like okay.

451
00:18:40,801 --> 00:18:43,240
Speaker 3: But we were also this crop of talent that was

452
00:18:43,281 --> 00:18:46,281
Speaker 3: brought up in training in the development territory. We were

453
00:18:46,281 --> 00:18:48,960
Speaker 3: taught shut up, be humble, don't ever talk back, do

454
00:18:49,041 --> 00:18:51,241
Speaker 3: exactly what you're told, or else you get fired.

455
00:18:51,441 --> 00:18:53,361
Speaker 1: Like okay, cool, then we don't. We just do it.

456
00:18:53,681 --> 00:18:56,960
Speaker 1: So as new talent came in through the development system,

457
00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,880
Speaker 1: we were still there. They weren't told that, and so

458
00:18:58,961 --> 00:19:01,361
Speaker 1: they would go politic and they get stuff written for them,

459
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,160
Speaker 1: and it's like, you know, there was a lot of

460
00:19:03,201 --> 00:19:05,360
Speaker 1: jealousy in that area, so we kind of all that

461
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:06,121
Speaker 1: stuff happened.

462
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:08,441
Speaker 3: But yeah, you don't have to take it on the chin,

463
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,801
Speaker 3: and there's ways to do it. It depends how you approached.

464
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:13,801
Speaker 1: You were to walk into Vince's office at the time,

465
00:19:14,001 --> 00:19:16,561
Speaker 1: like hey boss, I don't want to fucking lose like this,

466
00:19:16,761 --> 00:19:18,441
Speaker 1: what's this ship? You'd be like, dude, you're fired, get

467
00:19:18,441 --> 00:19:20,041
Speaker 1: out of here. But you know, if you were to

468
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,201
Speaker 1: go politic carefully, you probably probably go over in the match.

469
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,561
Speaker 2: What did you want to be when you were growing up?

470
00:19:25,961 --> 00:19:27,200
Speaker 3: I mean when I was a kid, I want to

471
00:19:27,241 --> 00:19:31,440
Speaker 3: be an astronaut.

472
00:19:30,921 --> 00:19:33,721
Speaker 1: I still want to go to space. I loved I

473
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,640
Speaker 1: loved it out there.

474
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,001
Speaker 2: Did you did you go on that did you go

475
00:19:37,041 --> 00:19:39,281
Speaker 2: on that path that you wanted to be or did

476
00:19:39,281 --> 00:19:41,721
Speaker 2: it just absolutely change and just go as I said

477
00:19:41,721 --> 00:19:42,961
Speaker 2: you were in the time.

478
00:19:43,321 --> 00:19:45,321
Speaker 1: When I was in school, I kind of wanted to

479
00:19:45,321 --> 00:19:48,360
Speaker 1: be an architect, so I took some architectural courses, and

480
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:51,561
Speaker 1: one of my jobs at my community college was being

481
00:19:51,561 --> 00:19:54,640
Speaker 1: a draftsman, So I was using AutoCAD to draft up

482
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,121
Speaker 1: some plans for a civil engineer.

483
00:19:56,481 --> 00:19:58,440
Speaker 3: And then I got roped into civil engineering. So I

484
00:19:58,481 --> 00:20:01,041
Speaker 3: went to school my degrees in civil engineering. I majored

485
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,120
Speaker 3: in hydrology and structure. So I'm a closet nerd but

486
00:20:04,761 --> 00:20:05,440
Speaker 3: I hate it.

487
00:20:07,041 --> 00:20:09,761
Speaker 1: I should have like these big glasses in pocket protector,

488
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,681
Speaker 1: but I hated it. Miyah.

489
00:20:11,761 --> 00:20:15,201
Speaker 3: I worked in southern California. I worked at the City

490
00:20:15,241 --> 00:20:17,921
Speaker 3: of Data point as an engineer, and then I also

491
00:20:17,961 --> 00:20:19,561
Speaker 3: worked in Encinitas as an engineer.

492
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:21,681
Speaker 1: I would get up commuting.

493
00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:23,401
Speaker 3: Traffic early in the day and I had a beautiful

494
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,640
Speaker 3: window office. I just stare out all day long and

495
00:20:25,681 --> 00:20:27,001
Speaker 3: just go God, I feel trapped.

496
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:28,961
Speaker 1: I hate this, and like you can't leave. You know,

497
00:20:29,001 --> 00:20:29,801
Speaker 1: you're in the corporate world.

498
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,240
Speaker 3: You're stuck there from seven thirty in the morning till

499
00:20:32,281 --> 00:20:34,200
Speaker 3: six at night, and you're just stuck. And it's like

500
00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:36,001
Speaker 3: I felt like I'm dying slowly in here.

501
00:20:36,281 --> 00:20:39,121
Speaker 1: So I opted to start my own business and work

502
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,281
Speaker 1: from home doing some engineering at home, which took off

503
00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:43,600
Speaker 1: like a rocket. I'm like, oh, that's how you do it.

504
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,920
Speaker 3: And then I got signed I think eight months after that,

505
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:50,161
Speaker 3: so I've never after that. It was two thousand and seven,

506
00:20:50,201 --> 00:20:52,001
Speaker 3: I think when I started working for myself two thousand

507
00:20:52,041 --> 00:20:54,281
Speaker 3: and six, but I've never worked for anybody else after that,

508
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,880
Speaker 3: and my life has taken a wildly different turn as

509
00:20:56,921 --> 00:20:58,241
Speaker 3: far as a business is concerned.

510
00:20:58,281 --> 00:21:01,241
Speaker 2: When did you start like looking after your body? When

511
00:21:01,281 --> 00:21:03,480
Speaker 2: did that come into your life? When you want to say,

512
00:21:03,481 --> 00:21:05,840
Speaker 2: it's like hit the gym, because I've seen pitches of

513
00:21:05,921 --> 00:21:09,880
Speaker 2: you and you were fucking pretty like intimidating, intimidating.

514
00:21:10,281 --> 00:21:12,161
Speaker 1: Yeah, back then I was six three. I've shrunk. I'm

515
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,321
Speaker 1: only sixteen. I think all the wrestling could press my discs.

516
00:21:15,761 --> 00:21:18,321
Speaker 1: It's crazy, like I got measured like yeah, you're six two.

517
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,561
Speaker 1: No I'm not. I'm sixty three, Like, no, you're so.

518
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:24,721
Speaker 3: But when I was when I was in junior high

519
00:21:24,761 --> 00:21:26,680
Speaker 3: high school, I got picked on a ton because I

520
00:21:26,801 --> 00:21:30,080
Speaker 3: was this skinny, scrawny, very tall, nerdy kid with like

521
00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:32,720
Speaker 3: big feet and I had a four point zero grade average,

522
00:21:32,721 --> 00:21:33,761
Speaker 3: so I had straight a's.

523
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:38,321
Speaker 1: I was bullied tremendously. I hated it, and so summer

524
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 1: of sophomore year, my dad had this old rusty weight

525
00:21:42,921 --> 00:21:45,640
Speaker 1: set in the garage. I'm talking the ones where the

526
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,880
Speaker 1: weights were full of sand. Yeah, yes, yes, and they

527
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,001
Speaker 1: were like bright blue and you had to use the

528
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,361
Speaker 1: Allen key to like screw them on at the end

529
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,160
Speaker 1: and you're so like they would slide even kill Like

530
00:21:56,441 --> 00:21:57,801
Speaker 1: that was the kind of weight set it was. It

531
00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:59,281
Speaker 1: was terrible, but I.

532
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,200
Speaker 3: Just got sick of me and picked on and it

533
00:22:01,281 --> 00:22:03,440
Speaker 3: was like after school ended in my sophomore year, I

534
00:22:03,481 --> 00:22:05,240
Speaker 3: just looked at my dad, I might show me, and

535
00:22:05,241 --> 00:22:06,880
Speaker 3: he goes Okay, let's go. So he took me to

536
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:09,120
Speaker 3: the garage, showed me everything he wore with me, you know,

537
00:22:09,281 --> 00:22:11,681
Speaker 3: till I got it on my own. And I came

538
00:22:11,721 --> 00:22:14,960
Speaker 3: back as a junior that year, third year of high school,

539
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:19,120
Speaker 3: and nobody recognized me, like they were just like, oh, okay,

540
00:22:19,281 --> 00:22:21,081
Speaker 3: Gabe got big and we're not going to miss.

541
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,481
Speaker 1: And that's basic. It was like my security blank.

542
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:25,521
Speaker 3: I was like, I wanted to get so big and

543
00:22:25,561 --> 00:22:27,960
Speaker 3: intimidating that nobody would fuck with me.

544
00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:31,880
Speaker 1: And that's basically what happened. And so I just stuck

545
00:22:31,961 --> 00:22:33,681
Speaker 1: to it, and the bigger I got, the less people

546
00:22:33,761 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 1: fucked with me.

547
00:22:35,321 --> 00:22:38,120
Speaker 3: And I also found though that it gave me a

548
00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:40,920
Speaker 3: platform because people respected me now and they respected the

549
00:22:40,921 --> 00:22:42,081
Speaker 3: work that I put into it.

550
00:22:42,521 --> 00:22:44,441
Speaker 2: And then you and then you would have became very

551
00:22:44,481 --> 00:22:45,400
Speaker 2: popular in school.

552
00:22:46,921 --> 00:22:49,881
Speaker 3: Actually, yes, in college it was much different because one

553
00:22:49,921 --> 00:22:51,680
Speaker 3: I had a fresh start in college, I was already

554
00:22:51,721 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 3: this big guy, and so suddenly people just gravitated for

555
00:22:54,561 --> 00:22:55,961
Speaker 3: me because like, who's this big dude.

556
00:22:55,961 --> 00:22:57,241
Speaker 1: I gotta get to know him and get in the gym.

557
00:22:57,241 --> 00:22:58,761
Speaker 3: I was one of the biggest guys in the college

558
00:22:58,801 --> 00:23:02,080
Speaker 3: gym even coming in because I had spent two years

559
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:05,721
Speaker 3: at my community college, so I had rushed crammed two

560
00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:08,200
Speaker 3: years at my four year but even coming in as

561
00:23:08,201 --> 00:23:10,400
Speaker 3: a junior, I was still bigger than anybody else that

562
00:23:10,441 --> 00:23:10,721
Speaker 3: was there.

563
00:23:10,761 --> 00:23:12,561
Speaker 1: So I gained a lot of respect from that.

564
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:13,360
Speaker 4: Wow.

565
00:23:13,801 --> 00:23:18,360
Speaker 2: So when when was it that you decided that I

566
00:23:18,961 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 2: now want to become gabby?

567
00:23:22,321 --> 00:23:22,400
Speaker 1: Like?

568
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:26,160
Speaker 2: Whoa that? So what what was it? Because as I

569
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,961
Speaker 2: said to you, general slap yeah, because like the must

570
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,521
Speaker 2: it doesn't just start from like bang, It must start

571
00:23:32,561 --> 00:23:35,361
Speaker 2: from back back in teenage years or something like that.

572
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:38,481
Speaker 2: Because I've looked at pictures of you, and you would

573
00:23:38,481 --> 00:23:42,521
Speaker 2: have been, as I said, very popular the female package.

574
00:23:42,521 --> 00:23:45,081
Speaker 2: Would that everyone would have loved you as a female

575
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,481
Speaker 2: like this going this image that you had with the

576
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:51,561
Speaker 2: dreads and all the fucking body the surf I got, yeah,

577
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,120
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like you would have got attention.

578
00:23:54,281 --> 00:23:56,481
Speaker 1: I was a good looking you know what I mean?

579
00:23:57,041 --> 00:23:58,681
Speaker 2: So that was that wasn't a problem.

580
00:24:00,681 --> 00:24:04,681
Speaker 1: That was not a problem. It wasn't like and that

581
00:24:04,681 --> 00:24:07,161
Speaker 1: that's the thing because you know in social media when

582
00:24:07,201 --> 00:24:09,480
Speaker 1: people see me now, they're just like, oh, you failed

583
00:24:09,481 --> 00:24:13,360
Speaker 1: as a man. I'm like, did I? Actually? I didn't

584
00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:14,041
Speaker 1: fail as a man.

585
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,681
Speaker 3: I accomplished more as a man than most people will

586
00:24:17,761 --> 00:24:20,521
Speaker 3: their entire life. I mean, I did the American dream.

587
00:24:20,561 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 3: I was on TV every freaking week. I was a

588
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:27,441
Speaker 3: giant bodybuilder. I looked like a cross between Ragnar Lockbook

589
00:24:27,481 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 3: and the Mountain from Game of Thrones.

590
00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:32,521
Speaker 1: It's like I had a gorgeous trophy wife. It was

591
00:24:32,561 --> 00:24:35,160
Speaker 1: more than just a trophy wife. She's a beautiful soul

592
00:24:35,241 --> 00:24:37,960
Speaker 1: and intelligence. I got a family. You know, I developed

593
00:24:37,961 --> 00:24:40,440
Speaker 1: a seven figure business on my own. I'm like, I

594
00:24:40,441 --> 00:24:42,201
Speaker 1: think I did okay as a guy. It had nothing

595
00:24:42,241 --> 00:24:45,561
Speaker 1: to be about failing as a man. It started happening

596
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,761
Speaker 1: when I was about thirty six.

597
00:24:48,761 --> 00:24:50,961
Speaker 2: Thirty six, that's very late.

598
00:24:51,721 --> 00:24:54,961
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, like no hint of it my entire life, right,

599
00:24:55,441 --> 00:24:57,920
Speaker 3: I'll be point blank honest. You know, the thought of

600
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,561
Speaker 3: like being with the guy prior to my transition, like

601
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,640
Speaker 3: it made my stomach turn. Like I just was like,

602
00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:06,921
Speaker 3: you know, just like that, no gay tendencies, nothing like that.

603
00:25:06,961 --> 00:25:09,160
Speaker 3: I was like, I was a dude, like, you know,

604
00:25:09,281 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 3: high five my bros. And you know, like we're good

605
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:16,481
Speaker 3: man like. But about thirty six, I just.

606
00:25:15,681 --> 00:25:18,281
Speaker 1: I don't know what happened, but I just remember like

607
00:25:18,441 --> 00:25:21,721
Speaker 1: having the urge to like put on female clothes and

608
00:25:21,801 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 1: just be more like feminine. I don't know if like

609
00:25:24,201 --> 00:25:26,561
Speaker 1: something broke up in my mind or like what.

610
00:25:26,561 --> 00:25:29,681
Speaker 2: I hold on, hold on, But when you say you're

611
00:25:29,681 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 2: putting on female clothes the size of you, how the

612
00:25:33,001 --> 00:25:38,961
Speaker 2: fuck would it fitted you? Where were you getting the

613
00:25:39,001 --> 00:25:40,321
Speaker 2: fucking clothes from to fit?

614
00:25:43,321 --> 00:25:45,640
Speaker 3: I remember, this is such a wild story. I remember

615
00:25:45,681 --> 00:25:47,401
Speaker 3: one day my ex, she was.

616
00:25:47,360 --> 00:25:49,681
Speaker 1: Out I don't know, mom mom daughter day. We were out.

617
00:25:50,201 --> 00:25:52,360
Speaker 3: My kid's just like a toddler at the time, and

618
00:25:52,441 --> 00:25:54,321
Speaker 3: I was being I was being a great husband, like

619
00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 3: doing the laundry and putting away clothes, and I'm putting

620
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,761
Speaker 3: away your panties for her, and I remember I just

621
00:25:57,801 --> 00:26:00,161
Speaker 3: stopped and I was like, I don't want to put

622
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 3: these on.

623
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,401
Speaker 1: Oh my fuck it, let's do it. So like I'm

624
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,321
Speaker 1: in the closet like putting on her panties and it's

625
00:26:06,321 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 1: just like I heard him just like just like ripping.

626
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:16,241
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, I guess those are mine now. Yeah,

627
00:26:16,321 --> 00:26:20,521
Speaker 1: it was. It was wild, and so as Priscilla.

628
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:24,120
Speaker 3: Kind of you know, we had a very communicative relationship,

629
00:26:24,201 --> 00:26:25,961
Speaker 3: and so I was able to kind of tell her

630
00:26:26,721 --> 00:26:29,120
Speaker 3: with some liquid courage, you know what I really wanted,

631
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,360
Speaker 3: Like I had down like a half handle of Johnny

632
00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,401
Speaker 3: Walker would be so drunk and I'm finally like, hey,

633
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:37,761
Speaker 3: put your panties on me. She's like, what, like, put

634
00:26:37,801 --> 00:26:39,601
Speaker 3: your panties on me. She's like, all right, I'll try

635
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:40,081
Speaker 3: anything once.

636
00:26:42,721 --> 00:26:44,441
Speaker 1: But it's this big.

637
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 2: And I've seen a picture of I've seen a picture

638
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:50,561
Speaker 2: of Priscilla and she's not.

639
00:26:53,441 --> 00:26:56,441
Speaker 1: She's like one hundred and ten pounds, siety little thing.

640
00:26:59,281 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 3: But I'm always careful when I tell these stories because

641
00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:06,640
Speaker 3: there's there's a growing movement for this term is called autogynophilia,

642
00:27:06,801 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 3: and basically it's not even a recognized term in the

643
00:27:09,761 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 3: medical or a psychological community, but it refers to a

644
00:27:13,041 --> 00:27:16,920
Speaker 3: man who gets off on wearing women's clothing or trying

645
00:27:16,921 --> 00:27:18,281
Speaker 3: to look like a woman. So I have to be

646
00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:20,680
Speaker 3: very careful when I tell this story because you know,

647
00:27:20,681 --> 00:27:22,761
Speaker 3: in the beginning, it did start in the bedroom, and

648
00:27:22,961 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 3: I believe, like after a lot of soul searching, I

649
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 3: believe that was like my safe place. I believe that

650
00:27:28,761 --> 00:27:30,680
Speaker 3: was like because I had to be really drunk to

651
00:27:30,961 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 3: like tell her what I want to be. I mean,

652
00:27:32,561 --> 00:27:35,961
Speaker 3: I had to be hammered bro. Like I'm talking almost

653
00:27:36,041 --> 00:27:40,241
Speaker 3: not functional to like have the courage to tell her,

654
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,801
Speaker 3: But I believe it was like my safe place where if, like,

655
00:27:43,921 --> 00:27:46,041
Speaker 3: for any reason, anybody found out, I'm like, oh, it's

656
00:27:46,041 --> 00:27:47,521
Speaker 3: just a kink, you know, It's like you can you

657
00:27:47,561 --> 00:27:50,761
Speaker 3: can brush that off. But you know, when you start

658
00:27:50,961 --> 00:27:53,721
Speaker 3: taking it outside the bedroom and you can't brush it off,

659
00:27:53,721 --> 00:27:56,801
Speaker 3: it's not just a kink anymore. It's something else, which

660
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,841
Speaker 3: is where it eventually led. We moved to Texas from

661
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,640
Speaker 3: twenty nineteen when COVID hit. You know, we're just all

662
00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:04,681
Speaker 3: sitting at home drink in twenty four to seven, So,

663
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:07,640
Speaker 3: you know, in the evenings, I would just I'd found

664
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,561
Speaker 3: some cross dressing sites that had like lingerie in my size.

665
00:28:10,561 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 1: I'm like, sweet, well let's put this on. And so

666
00:28:13,281 --> 00:28:15,921
Speaker 1: I would just spend the nights like in women's clothing,

667
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 1: and Priscilla and I would just no longer about sex.

668
00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 3: It was just about enjoying talking to each other and

669
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:23,521
Speaker 3: me being in like a feminine aspect.

670
00:28:23,561 --> 00:28:24,841
Speaker 2: Did she enjoy dressing up?

671
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:26,120
Speaker 1: That's got You know.

672
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:29,321
Speaker 3: What's interesting is I don't know if anybody's actually asked

673
00:28:29,321 --> 00:28:32,281
Speaker 3: her that specific question. I think she did it because

674
00:28:32,321 --> 00:28:34,360
Speaker 3: she loved me, and she knew it made me happy.

675
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:36,241
Speaker 3: She I mean, she was the one who asked the

676
00:28:36,241 --> 00:28:37,521
Speaker 3: first time. She's like, do you want me to do

677
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:38,361
Speaker 3: your makeup.

678
00:28:40,521 --> 00:28:40,641
Speaker 1: Up?

679
00:28:40,801 --> 00:28:41,001
Speaker 4: Yeah?

680
00:28:41,681 --> 00:28:45,561
Speaker 1: She asked me because I here's another funny start. You're

681
00:28:45,561 --> 00:28:46,041
Speaker 1: gonna die.

682
00:28:46,321 --> 00:28:48,601
Speaker 3: I'm dressed in like women's like like it was like

683
00:28:48,681 --> 00:28:50,481
Speaker 3: lingerie one night because that's the only thing that fit

684
00:28:50,601 --> 00:28:53,561
Speaker 3: me at the time. And I know I had my

685
00:28:53,681 --> 00:28:57,441
Speaker 3: dreads still, like you know, a shave side of the head, dreadlocks,

686
00:28:57,481 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 3: and she's like, you know, I have some extensions at

687
00:28:59,281 --> 00:29:00,441
Speaker 3: a clip and so you could put your hair.

688
00:29:00,481 --> 00:29:02,521
Speaker 1: I'm like really, She's like yeah, So she like clips

689
00:29:02,521 --> 00:29:04,761
Speaker 1: them on the front and they're just like you're like

690
00:29:04,801 --> 00:29:06,641
Speaker 1: this like falling in my face, but these are all

691
00:29:06,721 --> 00:29:09,361
Speaker 1: dreadlots back here the side of my head shade like yeah, looks.

692
00:29:09,881 --> 00:29:12,561
Speaker 1: I look back and I'm like, how fucking delusional was

693
00:29:12,601 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 1: I at the time? I me know, you see, you

694
00:29:15,761 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 1: see what you want to see. And it was just

695
00:29:17,481 --> 00:29:18,801
Speaker 1: this very strange time.

696
00:29:19,361 --> 00:29:21,121
Speaker 3: She's the one who taught me how to walk in heels,

697
00:29:21,121 --> 00:29:23,681
Speaker 3: you know, she she taught me the basics, and it

698
00:29:23,761 --> 00:29:25,681
Speaker 3: was a very strange time. I think she did it

699
00:29:25,681 --> 00:29:28,001
Speaker 3: because she loved me, you know, and she she saw

700
00:29:28,041 --> 00:29:29,601
Speaker 3: that it was made me happy.

701
00:29:30,361 --> 00:29:31,801
Speaker 1: But the rest is fucking history.

702
00:29:32,241 --> 00:29:35,001
Speaker 3: And then it just it went for me being you know,

703
00:29:35,121 --> 00:29:38,121
Speaker 3: Gabby at night like hey, this is this is now

704
00:29:38,161 --> 00:29:38,881
Speaker 3: full time gig?

705
00:29:39,601 --> 00:29:41,521
Speaker 1: Wow, this is this is it? Dude?

706
00:29:41,561 --> 00:29:44,281
Speaker 2: So when when when did you pull her aside and say, okay,

707
00:29:44,401 --> 00:29:45,641
Speaker 2: I think I want to take you to the next

708
00:29:45,721 --> 00:29:47,961
Speaker 2: level or did you just keep that quiet from it?

709
00:29:48,721 --> 00:29:50,281
Speaker 1: It was it was a really interesting conversation.

710
00:29:50,401 --> 00:29:52,641
Speaker 3: You know, our marriage was pretty much done before all

711
00:29:52,681 --> 00:29:54,881
Speaker 3: this stuff started. We were very, very rocky for a

712
00:29:54,921 --> 00:29:57,761
Speaker 3: long time, and I think moving to Texas we thought

713
00:29:57,761 --> 00:29:59,521
Speaker 3: would heal it, you know, give us a fresh start.

714
00:30:00,521 --> 00:30:03,481
Speaker 3: It didn't, and we still had major issues internally and

715
00:30:03,881 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 3: not on either one or the other person. It was

716
00:30:05,761 --> 00:30:08,561
Speaker 3: just wasn't working, you know, we'd grown apart whatever whatever

717
00:30:08,601 --> 00:30:11,361
Speaker 3: the reason was, and we had this like big blowout,

718
00:30:11,481 --> 00:30:12,121
Speaker 3: like she.

719
00:30:12,081 --> 00:30:14,881
Speaker 1: Had spent the night at somebody else's place. And for

720
00:30:14,921 --> 00:30:18,001
Speaker 1: about a month, I'd been really depressed, like very depressed,

721
00:30:18,001 --> 00:30:19,681
Speaker 1: and my brother committed suicide.

722
00:30:19,681 --> 00:30:22,681
Speaker 3: He got addicted to methanefetamines. He shot himself in the head.

723
00:30:22,721 --> 00:30:24,561
Speaker 3: So I was like, I'll never do that you like,

724
00:30:24,561 --> 00:30:26,041
Speaker 3: don't you never have to worry about that. I know

725
00:30:26,161 --> 00:30:28,681
Speaker 3: the pain that it causes. But for a month I

726
00:30:28,721 --> 00:30:31,881
Speaker 3: was extremely suicidal, like I did not want to be alive,

727
00:30:32,001 --> 00:30:34,161
Speaker 3: Like I don't. I don't know what the reason was specifically.

728
00:30:34,241 --> 00:30:36,761
Speaker 3: I know that I had stopped getting dressed up because

729
00:30:36,761 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 3: Priscilla had said she really wasn't attracted to me anymore

730
00:30:39,001 --> 00:30:42,281
Speaker 3: because of that, and I understood, so I went like

731
00:30:42,401 --> 00:30:43,561
Speaker 3: back full masculine.

732
00:30:43,921 --> 00:30:46,281
Speaker 1: But I was really having this internal battle.

733
00:30:46,801 --> 00:30:50,081
Speaker 2: You were depressed inside it. It was like, so, it's

734
00:30:50,121 --> 00:30:52,561
Speaker 2: like someone had taken away something that you enjoyed doing.

735
00:30:53,161 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, well more than that. And it's not that it

736
00:30:56,521 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 1: was taken away because she didn't take it away. It

737
00:30:59,041 --> 00:31:01,761
Speaker 1: was me going, hey, look forget about it. This is

738
00:31:01,761 --> 00:31:04,361
Speaker 1: a weird fetish of mine or something. It'll never happen again.

739
00:31:04,401 --> 00:31:06,081
Speaker 1: And she's in She was very clear, like I'm not

740
00:31:06,161 --> 00:31:07,041
Speaker 1: I'm not saying don't.

741
00:31:07,201 --> 00:31:08,641
Speaker 3: She's just saying I got to tell you, you know,

742
00:31:08,641 --> 00:31:12,001
Speaker 3: when we're we're intimate, I'm just I'm seeing Gabby. I

743
00:31:12,041 --> 00:31:14,641
Speaker 3: don't see Gabe anymore, and it's I'm having a hard time.

744
00:31:14,681 --> 00:31:16,721
Speaker 3: She was just telling me her feelings, but I took

745
00:31:16,721 --> 00:31:18,161
Speaker 3: it to the extreme because it's, you know, it's a

746
00:31:18,241 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 3: very sensitive topic. As you're breaking every rule about being

747
00:31:22,361 --> 00:31:25,441
Speaker 3: a man. You know, it's like you're it's very sensitive.

748
00:31:26,001 --> 00:31:28,361
Speaker 3: And it's not that it was taken away. I felt

749
00:31:28,361 --> 00:31:31,401
Speaker 3: like I couldn't, and not that she made me feel

750
00:31:31,401 --> 00:31:32,041
Speaker 3: I feel like I could.

751
00:31:32,201 --> 00:31:35,201
Speaker 1: I just felt like it's wrong, I can't. There's no way.

752
00:31:35,321 --> 00:31:37,481
Speaker 3: I you know, look at me, like, I'm this two

753
00:31:37,561 --> 00:31:40,081
Speaker 3: hundred and eighty pound dude, I'm like, what am I thinking?

754
00:31:40,521 --> 00:31:43,161
Speaker 3: But the thought of not being able to created a

755
00:31:43,201 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 3: giant depression in me. And it was this realization that

756
00:31:46,241 --> 00:31:48,241
Speaker 3: I'm like, I will never be tiny, I will never

757
00:31:48,281 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 3: be feminine. It's not going to happen. And I just

758
00:31:51,641 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 3: I remember feeling like I just wanted to be as

759
00:31:54,481 --> 00:31:57,041
Speaker 3: low to the ground as possible at all times. I

760
00:31:57,081 --> 00:32:00,121
Speaker 3: remember my breathing was like very slow and labored.

761
00:32:00,121 --> 00:32:02,961
Speaker 1: I would have visions of me like taking my side arm,

762
00:32:03,001 --> 00:32:05,921
Speaker 1: like I've got to conceal carry license, and throughout the day,

763
00:32:05,921 --> 00:32:08,041
Speaker 1: I'm like I could see myself like putting my gun

764
00:32:08,081 --> 00:32:10,121
Speaker 1: to my head and pulling the trigger, and I couldn't.

765
00:32:10,121 --> 00:32:12,121
Speaker 1: I didn't want those visions. I wanted nothing to do

766
00:32:12,201 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 1: with them. So the night we had this fight, I

767
00:32:15,001 --> 00:32:16,561
Speaker 1: was just very depressed when she knew it we had

768
00:32:16,561 --> 00:32:19,041
Speaker 1: this fight. She came home the next day and I

769
00:32:19,121 --> 00:32:21,641
Speaker 1: was building shelves for her in the house. She'd asked

770
00:32:21,681 --> 00:32:23,641
Speaker 1: me to build some shelves, and in my head, I

771
00:32:23,961 --> 00:32:25,960
Speaker 1: really knew this was the last thing I was going

772
00:32:26,041 --> 00:32:27,841
Speaker 1: to do for her because it was over. Like I

773
00:32:27,881 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 1: didn't want to live. I'm like, I'm going to do

774
00:32:29,481 --> 00:32:30,601
Speaker 1: this and then it's going to be over.

775
00:32:31,281 --> 00:32:32,841
Speaker 3: And so I'm glad she came home and she did,

776
00:32:32,841 --> 00:32:34,361
Speaker 3: because I don't think there would have been another day.

777
00:32:34,761 --> 00:32:36,401
Speaker 3: And she asked me, she said, do you want to talk?

778
00:32:36,601 --> 00:32:38,321
Speaker 3: I said sure, yeah, let let's go talk. So we

779
00:32:38,361 --> 00:32:40,521
Speaker 3: sat on on the front patio and I just let

780
00:32:40,521 --> 00:32:42,681
Speaker 3: her say all the things she wanted to say, and

781
00:32:42,761 --> 00:32:44,961
Speaker 3: instead of me arguing like usual, I just said, yeah,

782
00:32:45,001 --> 00:32:47,121
Speaker 3: you're right, and she looked at me and like it

783
00:32:47,161 --> 00:32:49,241
Speaker 3: was at that moment she knew something was very wrong,

784
00:32:49,281 --> 00:32:52,041
Speaker 3: because I'm never like as guys, you know, guys don't

785
00:32:52,121 --> 00:32:55,161
Speaker 3: just go yeah, you're right, honey, like you're like sincerely,

786
00:32:55,321 --> 00:32:58,720
Speaker 3: was like you're right, and she said, well, tell me

787
00:32:58,761 --> 00:33:01,281
Speaker 3: what's going on? And it took me a while to

788
00:33:01,361 --> 00:33:03,841
Speaker 3: choke it up, but I basically just I finally said,

789
00:33:04,041 --> 00:33:05,961
Speaker 3: if I can't live my life as a woman, I

790
00:33:06,001 --> 00:33:08,281
Speaker 3: don't want to be alive. And she looks at me,

791
00:33:08,361 --> 00:33:11,841
Speaker 3: she says, I know, I love you. We'll figure it out.

792
00:33:12,201 --> 00:33:14,641
Speaker 3: It was like this giant weight was lifted off my shoulders.

793
00:33:14,681 --> 00:33:17,841
Speaker 3: I was free to be me, and we didn't know

794
00:33:17,881 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 3: what that looked like. We didn't know if we were

795
00:33:19,521 --> 00:33:22,121
Speaker 3: going to stay married. We just didn't know. All I

796
00:33:22,201 --> 00:33:24,761
Speaker 3: knew was that I was free, and that's all that mattered.

797
00:33:25,361 --> 00:33:27,161
Speaker 3: So from that point on, it was I think it

798
00:33:27,201 --> 00:33:29,641
Speaker 3: took me about a month to get a doctor's appointment

799
00:33:29,641 --> 00:33:32,001
Speaker 3: and get hormone started, and there was no looking back.

800
00:33:32,641 --> 00:33:37,481
Speaker 2: Wild, right, that's very wild, But so did then from there?

801
00:33:38,641 --> 00:33:41,161
Speaker 2: Did you go in and talk to your parents or

802
00:33:41,201 --> 00:33:42,921
Speaker 2: anyone like that?

803
00:33:42,921 --> 00:33:47,041
Speaker 3: That's I was so fearful about telling my parents. They

804
00:33:47,041 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 3: were the two people I was the most afraid of telling,

805
00:33:50,201 --> 00:33:52,561
Speaker 3: and not that they were great parents. They still are

806
00:33:52,601 --> 00:33:56,521
Speaker 3: great parents, still married after fifty something years, and they're wonderful.

807
00:33:57,081 --> 00:33:59,281
Speaker 3: I just was incredibly fearful.

808
00:33:59,321 --> 00:34:00,121
Speaker 1: My dad's a.

809
00:34:00,081 --> 00:34:03,001
Speaker 3: Man's man, you know, he's a dude, A man's man chops,

810
00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:04,921
Speaker 3: would it makes fires and like all the things that

811
00:34:05,041 --> 00:34:09,401
Speaker 3: guy do. You know, Yeah, I was so scared. But

812
00:34:09,481 --> 00:34:12,241
Speaker 3: what I ended up doing all I was actually Priscilla's advice.

813
00:34:12,321 --> 00:34:14,801
Speaker 3: She said, you know you thought about writing a letter

814
00:34:15,161 --> 00:34:17,681
Speaker 3: that way you can say everything you need to say

815
00:34:18,321 --> 00:34:21,921
Speaker 3: without being interrupted and then seeing the looks on their faces.

816
00:34:21,961 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 1: And I said, no, I hadn't thought about that.

817
00:34:23,561 --> 00:34:27,801
Speaker 3: So I ended up handwriting this twelve page letter and

818
00:34:27,841 --> 00:34:30,281
Speaker 3: it started with I have to tell you something.

819
00:34:30,721 --> 00:34:31,321
Speaker 1: I love you.

820
00:34:32,041 --> 00:34:34,601
Speaker 3: I'm not on drugs, I think, I said, I'm not crazy,

821
00:34:34,961 --> 00:34:38,681
Speaker 3: I'm not suicidal. Read this to the end, don't call,

822
00:34:38,881 --> 00:34:40,801
Speaker 3: don't text until you get to the end. And it

823
00:34:40,841 --> 00:34:42,641
Speaker 3: was just I just laid it all out for them,

824
00:34:42,721 --> 00:34:45,761
Speaker 3: and at the very end, I said, take some time

825
00:34:45,801 --> 00:34:49,081
Speaker 3: to process. Please, don't call immediately, but you know, if

826
00:34:49,121 --> 00:34:50,801
Speaker 3: you need twenty four hours, if you need a year,

827
00:34:50,841 --> 00:34:54,041
Speaker 3: or whatever it is. Once you've processed it, send me

828
00:34:54,081 --> 00:34:55,721
Speaker 3: a text let me know that you guys got it.

829
00:34:56,401 --> 00:34:59,481
Speaker 3: And so I was sitting out front on the patio

830
00:34:59,761 --> 00:35:01,561
Speaker 3: after I had sent it a couple of days later

831
00:35:02,121 --> 00:35:03,601
Speaker 3: with some neighbors that I had just told.

832
00:35:03,641 --> 00:35:04,721
Speaker 1: Some very good friends of mine.

833
00:35:04,721 --> 00:35:07,801
Speaker 3: We all used to sit on the patio and drink too.

834
00:35:08,201 --> 00:35:11,321
Speaker 1: I told my neighbors and they were just like, hey,

835
00:35:11,321 --> 00:35:12,321
Speaker 1: we love you. We don't care.

836
00:35:12,401 --> 00:35:14,921
Speaker 3: It's this couple that's still sam and Teddy next door.

837
00:35:14,961 --> 00:35:17,161
Speaker 3: They're great Samantha and ted like, we're still friends to

838
00:35:17,201 --> 00:35:20,121
Speaker 3: this day. I told them one of me is really

839
00:35:20,121 --> 00:35:22,881
Speaker 3: good friends her. Her mom was walking by saw us

840
00:35:22,921 --> 00:35:23,441
Speaker 3: on the patio.

841
00:35:23,561 --> 00:35:25,121
Speaker 1: She came over. I'm like, well, I might as well

842
00:35:25,161 --> 00:35:28,161
Speaker 1: tell you too, and so like now Michelle and I

843
00:35:28,241 --> 00:35:31,881
Speaker 1: were like besties. It went from me and me being

844
00:35:31,881 --> 00:35:33,601
Speaker 1: super good friends with her husband like not her and

845
00:35:33,681 --> 00:35:35,641
Speaker 1: I have besties, you know.

846
00:35:36,881 --> 00:35:39,681
Speaker 3: But that that night, when everybody's on the patio, I

847
00:35:39,721 --> 00:35:42,601
Speaker 3: get a text and I really expected it to be

848
00:35:42,681 --> 00:35:45,441
Speaker 3: my mom, but it was my dad and it was

849
00:35:45,721 --> 00:35:47,641
Speaker 3: just a very short text and said I love you

850
00:35:47,681 --> 00:35:52,361
Speaker 3: forever from my dad. I'm trying not to cry because

851
00:35:52,361 --> 00:35:54,801
Speaker 3: it's so powerful for, you know, man's man to just

852
00:35:54,801 --> 00:35:56,801
Speaker 3: be like, I don't care, I love you. And then

853
00:35:56,841 --> 00:35:59,081
Speaker 3: my mom of course followed thirty seconds later with the

854
00:35:59,241 --> 00:36:01,321
Speaker 3: essay that seen I was like, I love you. I

855
00:36:01,361 --> 00:36:02,881
Speaker 3: can't believe we didn't see it, like, tell us how

856
00:36:02,881 --> 00:36:05,241
Speaker 3: we can help, like you know, the mom the mom texted.

857
00:36:05,081 --> 00:36:05,681
Speaker 1: The mile log.

858
00:36:06,321 --> 00:36:09,521
Speaker 4: So so that made that with with that, that made

859
00:36:09,601 --> 00:36:12,601
Speaker 4: it easier for the process for you because you had

860
00:36:12,681 --> 00:36:16,961
Speaker 4: now your mom and dad's backing and support, and you

861
00:36:17,001 --> 00:36:19,841
Speaker 4: had you'd already told Priscilla and they would They were

862
00:36:20,161 --> 00:36:21,401
Speaker 4: probably the three most.

863
00:36:21,241 --> 00:36:23,841
Speaker 2: Important people in your life at that time yet besides

864
00:36:23,841 --> 00:36:24,161
Speaker 2: your door.

865
00:36:24,241 --> 00:36:29,161
Speaker 1: Absolutely, yeah, absolutely, Like those were those are my barriers,

866
00:36:29,361 --> 00:36:32,001
Speaker 1: you know, like I have my I have my wife's.

867
00:36:31,601 --> 00:36:33,801
Speaker 3: Green light, I have my parents green light, not even

868
00:36:33,841 --> 00:36:36,161
Speaker 3: green light, just support, you know. It's not like they're like, hey, yeah,

869
00:36:36,321 --> 00:36:37,921
Speaker 3: go do it, you have to check. It was just

870
00:36:37,961 --> 00:36:42,321
Speaker 3: like we love you, just be you. So once that boundaries,

871
00:36:42,681 --> 00:36:45,761
Speaker 3: those boundaries were broken, nothing else mattered.

872
00:36:46,161 --> 00:36:47,921
Speaker 1: It was a long it's a long journey, I'll tell

873
00:36:47,961 --> 00:36:48,161
Speaker 1: you that.

874
00:36:48,201 --> 00:36:49,961
Speaker 3: And it was the roughest thing I've ever been through

875
00:36:50,001 --> 00:36:53,161
Speaker 3: and I'm still going through it, like it was brutal before.

876
00:36:53,201 --> 00:36:55,601
Speaker 2: Before we talk about the process, I just want to

877
00:36:55,601 --> 00:36:59,681
Speaker 2: go back to you on the because thoughts came through

878
00:36:59,681 --> 00:37:03,401
Speaker 2: my head then when you were on because yeah, wait

879
00:37:03,481 --> 00:37:06,321
Speaker 2: for that, when you were on the on your balcony

880
00:37:06,361 --> 00:37:09,361
Speaker 2: talking to you, you know, get your your neighbors, and

881
00:37:09,961 --> 00:37:12,281
Speaker 2: you turned around and said, well, what you know, I

882
00:37:12,641 --> 00:37:15,161
Speaker 2: became good friends with the husband's having bees and doing

883
00:37:15,161 --> 00:37:17,641
Speaker 2: bounty things. But now I'm going shopping with the wife

884
00:37:17,681 --> 00:37:20,201
Speaker 2: and we're doing lingerigge shopping together, and I'm seeing how

885
00:37:20,241 --> 00:37:31,481
Speaker 2: she's getting changed. I'm just going walk the.

886
00:37:22,681 --> 00:37:29,121
Speaker 3: F the husbands and I just waved and you're like, hey,

887
00:37:29,201 --> 00:37:30,441
Speaker 3: how you doing, And they're like hi.

888
00:37:30,641 --> 00:37:33,041
Speaker 1: And now it's like the girls go out all right.

889
00:37:33,281 --> 00:37:36,681
Speaker 2: That would be so fucking weird, Like it's one minute

890
00:37:36,681 --> 00:37:39,761
Speaker 2: I'm going with the guys, now I'm going I'm shopping

891
00:37:39,801 --> 00:37:41,841
Speaker 2: with the girls, and I'm seeing them all get changed

892
00:37:41,841 --> 00:37:42,641
Speaker 2: in the gesting rooms.

893
00:37:44,481 --> 00:37:48,561
Speaker 3: The wildest thing is like right before I told everybody

894
00:37:49,081 --> 00:37:52,761
Speaker 3: I have a really I have a phenomenal picture of

895
00:37:53,161 --> 00:37:55,361
Speaker 3: all the guys, and I put the camera kind of

896
00:37:55,401 --> 00:37:55,761
Speaker 3: down low.

897
00:37:55,841 --> 00:37:58,201
Speaker 1: We also smoked cigars up front, and it was like

898
00:37:58,601 --> 00:37:59,041
Speaker 1: me in the.

899
00:37:58,961 --> 00:38:01,681
Speaker 3: Middle with the cigar and all the dudes, like all

900
00:38:01,681 --> 00:38:04,241
Speaker 3: my buddies behind me, all the neighbor guys, and we're

901
00:38:04,281 --> 00:38:05,641
Speaker 3: just like me and mugg the camera.

902
00:38:07,001 --> 00:38:09,241
Speaker 1: And then like you know, a month later, like oh, hey,

903
00:38:09,281 --> 00:38:11,441
Speaker 1: by the way, I'm switching teams.

904
00:38:13,361 --> 00:38:16,281
Speaker 2: Oh shit, Wow, that's so hilarious.

905
00:38:16,361 --> 00:38:18,281
Speaker 1: That's so funny.

906
00:38:19,001 --> 00:38:21,721
Speaker 2: I'm trying to figure out, now what happened to Gabrielle

907
00:38:22,081 --> 00:38:24,841
Speaker 2: in the WWE. How did he just disappear.

908
00:38:26,121 --> 00:38:28,000
Speaker 1: As far as you know when I when I left

909
00:38:28,161 --> 00:38:32,521
Speaker 1: WWE back in twenty twelve, Yeah, you're talking about my character.

910
00:38:32,601 --> 00:38:33,401
Speaker 2: Yeah.

911
00:38:33,681 --> 00:38:35,921
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm still up as an alumni as Tyler Rex.

912
00:38:36,121 --> 00:38:38,161
Speaker 2: Oh really, if you go to the.

913
00:38:38,121 --> 00:38:40,281
Speaker 1: Alumni page and you look up Tyler Rex, I'm still there.

914
00:38:40,401 --> 00:38:44,201
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like for now, performing wise, like coming there now,

915
00:38:44,281 --> 00:38:46,841
Speaker 2: Let's say I wanted to come now and I wanted

916
00:38:46,841 --> 00:38:49,561
Speaker 2: to see Tyler Rex, but he's never there anymore because

917
00:38:49,721 --> 00:38:53,001
Speaker 2: you've done the transformation now and you become Gabby. Where's

918
00:38:53,041 --> 00:38:53,761
Speaker 2: he gone? To me?

919
00:38:53,801 --> 00:38:57,121
Speaker 3: As a fan, that's a that's an interesting one. You know,

920
00:38:57,161 --> 00:39:02,281
Speaker 3: the wrestling fandom is, it's wild, and some fans accepted it,

921
00:39:02,921 --> 00:39:05,921
Speaker 3: some hated it, some were neutral, which is one of

922
00:39:05,961 --> 00:39:09,441
Speaker 3: the reasons when I was planning my comeback, I was

923
00:39:09,441 --> 00:39:12,641
Speaker 3: actually kind of shocked that. You know, actually I have

924
00:39:12,681 --> 00:39:15,521
Speaker 3: a better understanding of why I didn't actually get signed

925
00:39:15,561 --> 00:39:18,281
Speaker 3: to either company because I did such a good job

926
00:39:18,321 --> 00:39:22,161
Speaker 3: with PR and my social media that the word on

927
00:39:22,201 --> 00:39:24,841
Speaker 3: the street is that both companies thought I was signed

928
00:39:24,841 --> 00:39:28,241
Speaker 3: to the other company. And so it was like they

929
00:39:28,281 --> 00:39:30,601
Speaker 3: all thought I was like I had already gotten the deal,

930
00:39:31,001 --> 00:39:32,961
Speaker 3: but I had made it look so powerful that I

931
00:39:32,961 --> 00:39:35,121
Speaker 3: was already coming back like Okay, well she's got something

932
00:39:35,161 --> 00:39:39,481
Speaker 3: going on. But short version is love me or hate me.

933
00:39:40,121 --> 00:39:42,041
Speaker 3: They were going to watch and that was it. Half

934
00:39:42,081 --> 00:39:44,601
Speaker 3: the audience would have loved it. Half the audience would

935
00:39:44,601 --> 00:39:47,081
Speaker 3: have hated it, but they would have watched, and that

936
00:39:47,441 --> 00:39:49,961
Speaker 3: all that matters is ratings. And so that's why it

937
00:39:49,961 --> 00:39:52,681
Speaker 3: would have been this massive success had it happened. So

938
00:39:52,921 --> 00:39:55,161
Speaker 3: to answer your questions, what happened to the fans, It's

939
00:39:55,201 --> 00:39:58,401
Speaker 3: like they never got their closure, and so there's a

940
00:39:58,401 --> 00:40:00,841
Speaker 3: book that was waiting to be closed for them. As

941
00:40:00,841 --> 00:40:02,921
Speaker 3: far as they know, it's like, oh yeah, there was

942
00:40:02,961 --> 00:40:04,081
Speaker 3: this wrestler that transition.

943
00:40:04,321 --> 00:40:06,721
Speaker 1: Cool. That's it. You talk about the fan. I didn't

944
00:40:06,721 --> 00:40:08,241
Speaker 1: have a lot of fans, you know, I was like

945
00:40:08,881 --> 00:40:11,041
Speaker 1: low mid card at best, But you.

946
00:40:10,961 --> 00:40:12,561
Speaker 2: Would have if you still would have had that fans,

947
00:40:12,801 --> 00:40:14,481
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter. You still have that fan base.

948
00:40:15,241 --> 00:40:18,481
Speaker 1: I had some. I didn't have like Jericho you know, fans,

949
00:40:18,521 --> 00:40:19,081
Speaker 1: but I had some.

950
00:40:20,481 --> 00:40:22,441
Speaker 2: I just because that to me, like I would be

951
00:40:22,521 --> 00:40:25,121
Speaker 2: going like just say, for instance, I was eleven years old,

952
00:40:25,161 --> 00:40:27,321
Speaker 2: and I was watching you and I'd be just wondering out,

953
00:40:27,321 --> 00:40:29,361
Speaker 2: where's he gone? You know what I mean, Like, where's

954
00:40:29,401 --> 00:40:29,801
Speaker 2: he gone?

955
00:40:29,881 --> 00:40:30,121
Speaker 4: Well?

956
00:40:30,241 --> 00:40:34,601
Speaker 1: I disappeared in twenty twelve because I literally quit one day.

957
00:40:34,641 --> 00:40:35,201
Speaker 1: I just walked in.

958
00:40:35,281 --> 00:40:36,921
Speaker 3: I quit because I wanted to go be a parent.

959
00:40:37,121 --> 00:40:40,721
Speaker 3: My daughter was a year old, and she like I

960
00:40:40,761 --> 00:40:42,721
Speaker 3: was missing her life. I was gone five or six

961
00:40:42,761 --> 00:40:45,081
Speaker 3: days a week. I'm like, I can't be a FaceTime parent.

962
00:40:45,121 --> 00:40:46,681
Speaker 3: I can't be one of these parents on the road.

963
00:40:47,041 --> 00:40:49,761
Speaker 3: My daughter like I get one and gonn, I'm gonna

964
00:40:49,761 --> 00:40:52,121
Speaker 3: spend it with her. Which I just walked in after

965
00:40:52,161 --> 00:40:54,561
Speaker 3: Summer Slam and I just quit, like bye, I got

966
00:40:54,601 --> 00:40:57,201
Speaker 3: to go. And it was funny because Jane Getty's was

967
00:40:57,201 --> 00:40:59,281
Speaker 3: the head of talent Relations at that time. She's like, wait, wait,

968
00:40:59,321 --> 00:41:00,801
Speaker 3: what are you talking about? Like you're getting a push

969
00:41:00,881 --> 00:41:02,721
Speaker 3: right now, Like I know, I got to go be

970
00:41:02,761 --> 00:41:03,081
Speaker 3: a parent.

971
00:41:03,121 --> 00:41:05,521
Speaker 1: I'm done. She's like, is it about money? And I

972
00:41:05,561 --> 00:41:07,801
Speaker 1: looked at her. I remember, I said, Jane, if I

973
00:41:07,841 --> 00:41:09,961
Speaker 1: had known it was that easy to get a raise,

974
00:41:10,121 --> 00:41:11,681
Speaker 1: just the threatn that I was gonna quit, I wouldn't

975
00:41:11,681 --> 00:41:14,521
Speaker 1: done this a year ago. And she goes well, throw

976
00:41:14,521 --> 00:41:16,521
Speaker 1: a number at me. And I looked at her. I'm like,

977
00:41:16,521 --> 00:41:18,681
Speaker 1: there is no number that I can give you that's

978
00:41:18,721 --> 00:41:20,801
Speaker 1: going to make me sacrifice being a parent. She's like,

979
00:41:20,801 --> 00:41:24,921
Speaker 1: try me. I'm like, well it's seven figures. She's like, okay,

980
00:41:24,921 --> 00:41:28,921
Speaker 1: it's great. Now on you see later. She's like, now

981
00:41:28,921 --> 00:41:30,401
Speaker 1: we can't do that. I'm like, that's what I thought.

982
00:41:30,441 --> 00:41:31,361
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go be a parent.

983
00:41:33,481 --> 00:41:36,601
Speaker 2: Well, okay, let let's let's tell me about the process

984
00:41:36,761 --> 00:41:39,881
Speaker 2: that you have to go through, Like, was it full

985
00:41:39,921 --> 00:41:40,561
Speaker 2: on for you?

986
00:41:42,161 --> 00:41:45,441
Speaker 1: I'm not done yet. I still haven't had the bottom surgery.

987
00:41:45,481 --> 00:41:48,601
Speaker 1: I'm still iffy on that. You know, there's a lot

988
00:41:48,641 --> 00:41:52,121
Speaker 1: that the community doesn't tell you, and the way it's

989
00:41:52,121 --> 00:41:55,001
Speaker 1: painted that it's like all puppy dogs and rainbows and

990
00:41:55,041 --> 00:41:59,201
Speaker 1: it's not the final surgery, the gender confirment whatever, this

991
00:41:59,241 --> 00:42:02,321
Speaker 1: sex change. I don't know. I fuck all the pcsuff says,

992
00:42:03,441 --> 00:42:05,361
Speaker 1: it's just talking change.

993
00:42:05,601 --> 00:42:08,281
Speaker 3: Everybody that knows me knows I'm the I'm the farthest

994
00:42:08,281 --> 00:42:10,521
Speaker 3: thing from PC, so let's just fucking talk about it.

995
00:42:10,601 --> 00:42:14,401
Speaker 1: Yeah. So it's like that surgery has so many complications.

996
00:42:15,001 --> 00:42:17,721
Speaker 3: I think it's got like a fifty or sixty percent

997
00:42:18,081 --> 00:42:20,041
Speaker 3: success rate of forty plus percent.

998
00:42:20,081 --> 00:42:20,601
Speaker 1: Complication.

999
00:42:20,641 --> 00:42:24,081
Speaker 3: It's massive, like complication, right, It's like when it's all

1000
00:42:24,121 --> 00:42:27,321
Speaker 3: said and done, like you have to like dilate every

1001
00:42:27,401 --> 00:42:30,241
Speaker 3: day for a year or two and then it's a

1002
00:42:30,281 --> 00:42:32,521
Speaker 3: couple times a week, but it's like for the rest

1003
00:42:32,521 --> 00:42:35,201
Speaker 3: of your life. And I'm just like, what happens when

1004
00:42:35,241 --> 00:42:37,041
Speaker 3: I'm eighty and I don't want to, you know, shove

1005
00:42:37,041 --> 00:42:39,321
Speaker 3: a fake dildo up there and make sure that my

1006
00:42:39,721 --> 00:42:41,561
Speaker 3: you know, my surgical hole doesn't close up.

1007
00:42:41,601 --> 00:42:44,361
Speaker 1: And I'm like, what happens if I'm too I'm too

1008
00:42:44,521 --> 00:42:46,601
Speaker 1: decreptit to do that, Like do I just like have

1009
00:42:46,681 --> 00:42:47,521
Speaker 1: a p hole and that's it.

1010
00:42:47,561 --> 00:42:48,961
Speaker 3: I'm like, this is I don't know what I think

1011
00:42:49,001 --> 00:42:51,361
Speaker 3: about this. You know, it's like it's a big deal.

1012
00:42:52,081 --> 00:42:56,361
Speaker 3: So that part isn't done. But you know, everybody thinks

1013
00:42:56,361 --> 00:43:00,361
Speaker 3: that hormones change everything, and they don't. Like they soften

1014
00:43:00,401 --> 00:43:02,361
Speaker 3: your skin a little bit, Like I noticed some changes

1015
00:43:02,401 --> 00:43:05,681
Speaker 3: around my eyes, but like there's bone structure. And it

1016
00:43:05,761 --> 00:43:09,401
Speaker 3: took had two different breast augmentations because my my peck

1017
00:43:09,481 --> 00:43:12,881
Speaker 3: muscles were just so big and I lost so much

1018
00:43:12,961 --> 00:43:16,041
Speaker 3: muscle after my first breast augmentation that like my implants

1019
00:43:16,121 --> 00:43:18,161
Speaker 3: dropped so far they had to be redone.

1020
00:43:18,561 --> 00:43:19,921
Speaker 1: It's still got to get readone there.

1021
00:43:20,761 --> 00:43:23,121
Speaker 3: It's like it's just this ongoing thing, like I've lost

1022
00:43:23,201 --> 00:43:24,721
Speaker 3: so much more muscle and I've had.

1023
00:43:24,641 --> 00:43:27,641
Speaker 1: Open heart surgery, so it's like my peck muscles are severed.

1024
00:43:28,081 --> 00:43:29,881
Speaker 1: So it's like my girls just they kind of like

1025
00:43:29,921 --> 00:43:31,961
Speaker 1: hang out at the side and they're just like stargazs

1026
00:43:31,961 --> 00:43:33,921
Speaker 1: are like, hi, one's looking this way. It's looking now.

1027
00:43:34,161 --> 00:43:39,841
Speaker 1: It's on'm a fucking shit show. It's just it's bad.

1028
00:43:40,921 --> 00:43:43,721
Speaker 1: But so you know, it doesn't change your voice. Hormo does.

1029
00:43:43,721 --> 00:43:45,761
Speaker 3: Don't change your voice, it doesn't change the shape of

1030
00:43:45,801 --> 00:43:49,961
Speaker 3: your face. It's all surgical. And so I've had vocal surgery.

1031
00:43:50,001 --> 00:43:52,521
Speaker 3: Even though you can't tell I have other issues like

1032
00:43:52,521 --> 00:43:56,281
Speaker 3: from wrestling. I have a vertebrae that's grown a bone

1033
00:43:56,281 --> 00:43:58,281
Speaker 3: spur and is pushing on my esophagus.

1034
00:43:58,441 --> 00:44:01,121
Speaker 1: So my vocal cords think that every time I breathe in,

1035
00:44:01,201 --> 00:44:03,801
Speaker 1: I'm swallowing food, so they close and it burns them out.

1036
00:44:04,321 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 1: So that's how my voice always sounds burned out.

1037
00:44:06,561 --> 00:44:08,601
Speaker 3: So even though I had my vocal surgery, sounded great,

1038
00:44:08,641 --> 00:44:10,921
Speaker 3: but like six months and then it just it started

1039
00:44:10,921 --> 00:44:11,321
Speaker 3: to fail.

1040
00:44:11,801 --> 00:44:16,001
Speaker 1: But the facial surgery that was brutal. They basically like

1041
00:44:16,281 --> 00:44:18,761
Speaker 1: cut me from here to here, peeled my face down

1042
00:44:18,801 --> 00:44:22,681
Speaker 1: like a banana, and then my surgeon he cut off

1043
00:44:22,721 --> 00:44:24,881
Speaker 1: my like if you look at guys, like, guys have

1044
00:44:24,921 --> 00:44:28,121
Speaker 1: a brow bump here, females don't. So he cut off

1045
00:44:28,161 --> 00:44:30,480
Speaker 1: like my entire part of my forehead here. He put

1046
00:44:30,481 --> 00:44:32,401
Speaker 1: it on a bench and he shaved. He shaved it

1047
00:44:32,441 --> 00:44:35,281
Speaker 1: down flat, and they put it back on with some screws.

1048
00:44:35,681 --> 00:44:37,801
Speaker 3: So now I've got like this flat hair. I had

1049
00:44:37,801 --> 00:44:41,281
Speaker 3: my nose done. I have cheek implants. He shaved, he

1050
00:44:41,561 --> 00:44:44,041
Speaker 3: cut went in through my gums like in front of

1051
00:44:44,041 --> 00:44:47,001
Speaker 3: my teeth. Hair, shaved down my jaw for the V line,

1052
00:44:47,601 --> 00:44:49,841
Speaker 3: my cheek implants. He went through the top of my gums,

1053
00:44:50,201 --> 00:44:52,521
Speaker 3: and then they shaved off my trach. Yes, I don't

1054
00:44:52,521 --> 00:44:53,361
Speaker 3: have an atom's apple.

1055
00:44:54,321 --> 00:44:55,121
Speaker 1: Ah.

1056
00:44:55,161 --> 00:44:58,321
Speaker 3: So that was a brutal surgery. That was That was

1057
00:44:58,521 --> 00:45:00,001
Speaker 3: a lot of time. I think it was four and

1058
00:45:00,001 --> 00:45:02,801
Speaker 3: a half hours, and it takes about two years for

1059
00:45:02,881 --> 00:45:06,801
Speaker 3: the swelling to like completely subside, So that one was brutal.

1060
00:45:07,081 --> 00:45:11,081
Speaker 3: But with all the weight that I lost, I had

1061
00:45:11,161 --> 00:45:13,481
Speaker 3: so much like sagging skin I must have had like

1062
00:45:13,601 --> 00:45:14,801
Speaker 3: six chins.

1063
00:45:14,321 --> 00:45:18,161
Speaker 1: It was horrendous. Every time I'd smile or laugh, like

1064
00:45:18,201 --> 00:45:21,521
Speaker 1: I would just fold up underneath hair. So it was

1065
00:45:21,561 --> 00:45:24,321
Speaker 1: about a year and a half after my I think

1066
00:45:24,321 --> 00:45:27,801
Speaker 1: it was twenty twenty three. I had a facelift and

1067
00:45:27,881 --> 00:45:29,841
Speaker 1: I had a second trachy essay of just to make

1068
00:45:29,841 --> 00:45:31,401
Speaker 1: sure everything was nice and clean.

1069
00:45:31,521 --> 00:45:34,081
Speaker 3: I had my nose done a second time. But the

1070
00:45:34,121 --> 00:45:37,121
Speaker 3: facelift was fucking brutal. Man, I think that was worse

1071
00:45:37,161 --> 00:45:43,561
Speaker 3: than the original surgery. It was so bad. But it

1072
00:45:43,601 --> 00:45:45,561
Speaker 3: was all needed. It was all needed, and I'm still

1073
00:45:45,601 --> 00:45:50,081
Speaker 3: not done, Like I'm still losing muscle. I still don't

1074
00:45:50,121 --> 00:45:53,521
Speaker 3: like they don't tell you you're not going to get hips.

1075
00:45:53,841 --> 00:45:56,361
Speaker 3: You know, especially at my age, your hips don't spread.

1076
00:45:56,521 --> 00:45:59,801
Speaker 3: It just doesn't happen, like the growth plates are already fused.

1077
00:46:00,081 --> 00:46:03,361
Speaker 3: No matter how much estrogen or progesterone you take. There's

1078
00:46:03,401 --> 00:46:06,440
Speaker 3: only a tiny amount of the fat deposits, like guys

1079
00:46:06,481 --> 00:46:08,921
Speaker 3: tend to hold it around their love handles and females

1080
00:46:08,961 --> 00:46:12,081
Speaker 3: I hold it in their hips and their butt. There's

1081
00:46:12,121 --> 00:46:14,521
Speaker 3: only a little bit of like fat migration that happens.

1082
00:46:14,521 --> 00:46:16,121
Speaker 3: It's not a lot, not enough to give you like

1083
00:46:16,201 --> 00:46:19,201
Speaker 3: an hour class shape by any means. So I still

1084
00:46:19,401 --> 00:46:22,121
Speaker 3: haven't had that surgery. I have to gain like thirty

1085
00:46:22,161 --> 00:46:24,961
Speaker 3: or forty pounds of fat to have them suck it

1086
00:46:25,001 --> 00:46:26,441
Speaker 3: out of me and then put it in my button

1087
00:46:26,481 --> 00:46:28,721
Speaker 3: my hips, so it actually looks like I have real hips,

1088
00:46:29,281 --> 00:46:32,761
Speaker 3: which I've tried twice to go down that route, and

1089
00:46:32,841 --> 00:46:36,681
Speaker 3: every time I've gotten clothes, we thought we were green

1090
00:46:36,761 --> 00:46:38,361
Speaker 3: lighted for the reality show, so I had to go

1091
00:46:38,441 --> 00:46:40,881
Speaker 3: lose thirty pounds and so I'm just kind of like

1092
00:46:40,921 --> 00:46:43,281
Speaker 3: I'm gonna wait and just kind of ride this one out.

1093
00:46:43,401 --> 00:46:45,881
Speaker 3: So I have some dysphoria around that, Like I look

1094
00:46:45,921 --> 00:46:48,041
Speaker 3: in the mirror, like I wear shapewear, like I wear

1095
00:46:48,081 --> 00:46:50,361
Speaker 3: like button hipads. So I feel comfortable in my skin,

1096
00:46:50,481 --> 00:46:52,401
Speaker 3: and I'm not shy about telling people that.

1097
00:46:52,761 --> 00:46:54,960
Speaker 1: It's just it's not for anybody else. I don't date.

1098
00:46:55,361 --> 00:46:57,841
Speaker 3: I'm trying to now, but it's like I don't really

1099
00:46:58,241 --> 00:47:00,001
Speaker 3: I don't really date, and I'm not out to get guys.

1100
00:47:00,041 --> 00:47:02,561
Speaker 3: I'm raising a fourteen year old daughter. Don't be don't

1101
00:47:02,601 --> 00:47:04,161
Speaker 3: be sticking dating.

1102
00:47:04,321 --> 00:47:07,481
Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't missed it in me with somebody or

1103
00:47:07,481 --> 00:47:08,201
Speaker 2: something like that.

1104
00:47:08,321 --> 00:47:11,401
Speaker 1: You know they do now in the in the last

1105
00:47:11,601 --> 00:47:15,041
Speaker 1: three or four months. It's only when it's really become

1106
00:47:15,081 --> 00:47:17,000
Speaker 1: a parent that there's that hole in my heart.

1107
00:47:17,961 --> 00:47:20,361
Speaker 3: I've had some good I've had some No, I haven't

1108
00:47:20,361 --> 00:47:22,961
Speaker 3: had good. I've had all bad experiences dating They've been

1109
00:47:23,201 --> 00:47:25,521
Speaker 3: they've been terrible. You know, I've been a side piece

1110
00:47:25,601 --> 00:47:27,401
Speaker 3: without knowing it. I had a guy, one of my

1111
00:47:27,481 --> 00:47:31,521
Speaker 3: first guys that I dated, he had like a corporate

1112
00:47:31,601 --> 00:47:32,961
Speaker 3: crash pad out here in Austin.

1113
00:47:33,081 --> 00:47:33,721
Speaker 1: I didn't know that.

1114
00:47:33,841 --> 00:47:36,001
Speaker 3: I thought it was his apartment and he would take

1115
00:47:36,001 --> 00:47:38,921
Speaker 3: me over there and he'd order in. I never understood

1116
00:47:38,921 --> 00:47:40,681
Speaker 3: why weren't leaving and going anywhere. Well, he had a

1117
00:47:40,681 --> 00:47:43,121
Speaker 3: whole fricking life in New York, and I was a

1118
00:47:43,161 --> 00:47:43,601
Speaker 3: side piece.

1119
00:47:43,641 --> 00:47:46,001
Speaker 1: He'd come out and bang and I was like, ah,

1120
00:47:46,041 --> 00:47:46,881
Speaker 1: that hurts.

1121
00:47:47,121 --> 00:47:49,881
Speaker 3: I've I've done some weird, kinky staff like I've been

1122
00:47:49,921 --> 00:47:52,641
Speaker 3: guys toys it's like, okay, and I've just.

1123
00:47:53,001 --> 00:47:55,441
Speaker 1: A lot of times. Transform are like a gateway for

1124
00:47:55,561 --> 00:47:57,161
Speaker 1: guys to figure out if they you know, they're like

1125
00:47:57,161 --> 00:47:59,321
Speaker 1: a little d or not like creep. On the downline,

1126
00:48:00,681 --> 00:48:02,801
Speaker 1: I don't want to be that. I've been that.

1127
00:48:02,841 --> 00:48:04,841
Speaker 3: I don't want to be that, and it's you know,

1128
00:48:04,841 --> 00:48:07,681
Speaker 3: you've at you look at the reality of what it is.

1129
00:48:07,721 --> 00:48:09,801
Speaker 3: It's like, I'm a six foot two trans woman. I

1130
00:48:09,841 --> 00:48:12,441
Speaker 3: weigh one hundred and eighty five pounds. I have like

1131
00:48:12,841 --> 00:48:14,921
Speaker 3: I got boy hands, I got boy feet. I can't

1132
00:48:14,961 --> 00:48:19,561
Speaker 3: change their pretty feet. They're just big, very pretty. But

1133
00:48:19,601 --> 00:48:22,521
Speaker 3: I like my hand's not so much. I like, I

1134
00:48:22,561 --> 00:48:25,481
Speaker 3: worked on cars growing up, I raced motorcycles. I was

1135
00:48:25,521 --> 00:48:28,281
Speaker 3: you know, I never wore gloves when I weightlifted, I

1136
00:48:28,401 --> 00:48:31,481
Speaker 3: was like, I was a dude. And no matter how

1137
00:48:31,601 --> 00:48:33,681
Speaker 3: much work I do in my hands, I'm like, I

1138
00:48:33,721 --> 00:48:35,121
Speaker 3: can't change the size of them.

1139
00:48:35,281 --> 00:48:37,801
Speaker 1: And so it's those are the things that get me.

1140
00:48:37,921 --> 00:48:41,161
Speaker 3: Like knowing I don't have the hourglass shape that's hard,

1141
00:48:41,801 --> 00:48:45,681
Speaker 3: and knowing that, you know, my voice isn't like super feminine,

1142
00:48:45,801 --> 00:48:47,921
Speaker 3: that's hard. And I look at me and you know,

1143
00:48:47,961 --> 00:48:49,401
Speaker 3: I wake up in the morning and I look in

1144
00:48:49,401 --> 00:48:52,681
Speaker 3: the mirror, I'm like, yeah, I wouldn't date me. And

1145
00:48:52,721 --> 00:48:55,041
Speaker 3: that's what goes through my head. And so while I

1146
00:48:55,081 --> 00:48:58,681
Speaker 3: miss it, it's it's a very it's a sensitive topic

1147
00:48:58,681 --> 00:49:01,721
Speaker 3: for me because I do miss like intimacy and I

1148
00:49:01,761 --> 00:49:04,481
Speaker 3: do miss like I've been with some men that I

1149
00:49:04,721 --> 00:49:09,681
Speaker 3: I've minded, you know, staying with and I missed that

1150
00:49:09,721 --> 00:49:13,001
Speaker 3: feeling of somebody like holding me and you know, having that.

1151
00:49:13,201 --> 00:49:15,841
Speaker 1: So when you get it, when you.

1152
00:49:15,681 --> 00:49:19,001
Speaker 2: Go to through this in your head, who's your go

1153
00:49:19,161 --> 00:49:20,281
Speaker 2: to person to talk to?

1154
00:49:21,681 --> 00:49:26,201
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, nobody, I don't I don't talk to anybody.

1155
00:49:26,441 --> 00:49:29,201
Speaker 2: So you yeah, so you talk to yourself and you

1156
00:49:29,281 --> 00:49:33,841
Speaker 2: have two people answering them questions for you, Angel on.

1157
00:49:33,801 --> 00:49:38,321
Speaker 1: Your shoulder like you know, like the old cartoon, like

1158
00:49:38,441 --> 00:49:40,801
Speaker 1: you're fine, you're beautiful. Now you're a dirty bitch, Go

1159
00:49:40,881 --> 00:49:48,641
Speaker 1: get that guy. So you're buttling everybody. That's that's that's

1160
00:49:48,681 --> 00:49:49,001
Speaker 1: not good.

1161
00:49:49,001 --> 00:49:51,281
Speaker 2: When you're buttling it up all inside and you're not

1162
00:49:51,361 --> 00:49:52,480
Speaker 2: getting the answers that you want.

1163
00:49:53,641 --> 00:49:56,801
Speaker 3: You know, honestly, there is there is something to be said.

1164
00:49:56,841 --> 00:49:58,801
Speaker 3: You know, everybody is listening, but oh you need a therapist.

1165
00:49:58,881 --> 00:50:00,201
Speaker 3: I'm like, you know what I meant it this part

1166
00:50:00,361 --> 00:50:02,961
Speaker 3: far without any therapy. And if you if you look

1167
00:50:03,001 --> 00:50:06,081
Speaker 3: at my life, I'm probably one of the most balanced

1168
00:50:06,081 --> 00:50:07,601
Speaker 3: trans women you will ever come across.

1169
00:50:07,641 --> 00:50:10,401
Speaker 1: And of course I'm saying that on this side of

1170
00:50:10,401 --> 00:50:12,401
Speaker 1: the fence. I think I'm pretty balanced.

1171
00:50:12,401 --> 00:50:15,361
Speaker 3: But if you watch my videos, you listen to you know,

1172
00:50:15,761 --> 00:50:18,281
Speaker 3: my my podcast, like I'm pretty frickin balanced.

1173
00:50:18,281 --> 00:50:20,201
Speaker 1: There's no delusions about what I am. I know what

1174
00:50:20,281 --> 00:50:20,521
Speaker 1: I am.

1175
00:50:20,601 --> 00:50:22,681
Speaker 3: I accept it. I've mailed DNA. I'm a man living

1176
00:50:22,721 --> 00:50:23,440
Speaker 3: my life as a woman.

1177
00:50:23,481 --> 00:50:27,041
Speaker 1: I can get it. I don't think I need therapy.

1178
00:50:27,161 --> 00:50:29,201
Speaker 3: I think I need to find a way personally to

1179
00:50:29,241 --> 00:50:32,001
Speaker 3: work through it because I still have that male mentality

1180
00:50:32,081 --> 00:50:34,081
Speaker 3: where I have the way to world of the world

1181
00:50:34,081 --> 00:50:34,721
Speaker 3: on my shoulders.

1182
00:50:34,721 --> 00:50:38,121
Speaker 1: I'm the provider for my daughter. I'm like, nobody's coming

1183
00:50:38,121 --> 00:50:38,561
Speaker 1: to save me.

1184
00:50:38,801 --> 00:50:40,960
Speaker 3: You know, most I don't want to say most women

1185
00:50:41,001 --> 00:50:44,121
Speaker 3: because that'll really that'll really put a fire inner stuff.

1186
00:50:44,441 --> 00:50:47,081
Speaker 3: But there are many women who you know, they got

1187
00:50:47,081 --> 00:50:49,081
Speaker 3: their knight and shining armor that comes from them. And

1188
00:50:49,561 --> 00:50:51,321
Speaker 3: for me, I just know it ain't gonna happen. I'm like,

1189
00:50:51,681 --> 00:50:54,081
Speaker 3: if it does, yay, I'm all for it. But in

1190
00:50:54,121 --> 00:50:56,801
Speaker 3: the meantime, it's like I got companies to build, Like

1191
00:50:56,881 --> 00:50:59,201
Speaker 3: we're building our CpG company right now. I have my

1192
00:50:59,201 --> 00:51:03,441
Speaker 3: protein powder launched in August. I mean, we've we've broken

1193
00:51:03,481 --> 00:51:05,841
Speaker 3: records with that, and we've got a protein bar coming.

1194
00:51:05,961 --> 00:51:08,241
Speaker 3: We were closing our seat round right now. The globbar

1195
00:51:08,361 --> 00:51:11,081
Speaker 3: is coming in May. We have multiple.

1196
00:51:10,721 --> 00:51:12,881
Speaker 1: Products after that, and I mean, we've got a lot

1197
00:51:12,881 --> 00:51:15,401
Speaker 1: of venture capital backing us. It's like I have stuff

1198
00:51:15,441 --> 00:51:17,961
Speaker 1: to do and I don't have time to worry about dating.

1199
00:51:18,001 --> 00:51:19,761
Speaker 1: It's okay to be Like in my head, I'm like,

1200
00:51:20,241 --> 00:51:21,121
Speaker 1: it's okay to be single.

1201
00:51:21,241 --> 00:51:24,721
Speaker 2: So to me, so to me, your your escape is work.

1202
00:51:25,441 --> 00:51:30,481
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, yeah, yeah, because I've I'm forty seven.

1203
00:51:30,801 --> 00:51:33,201
Speaker 3: You know, I'm not getting any younger. And if I

1204
00:51:33,281 --> 00:51:35,121
Speaker 3: one thing I don't like doing and I refuse to

1205
00:51:35,121 --> 00:51:37,401
Speaker 3: do is wait. And I don't want to wait on

1206
00:51:37,521 --> 00:51:40,481
Speaker 3: anyone the universe, god, whatever you call it, to drop

1207
00:51:40,521 --> 00:51:43,201
Speaker 3: some man in my life to come save me that

1208
00:51:43,441 --> 00:51:44,721
Speaker 3: may or may not be able to give me the

1209
00:51:44,761 --> 00:51:48,561
Speaker 3: things that I want. I mean, I have gigantic aspirations

1210
00:51:48,601 --> 00:51:51,561
Speaker 3: more than the average person. Like I have aspirations about

1211
00:51:51,601 --> 00:51:53,521
Speaker 3: being the one percent of the one percent of the world.

1212
00:51:53,961 --> 00:51:56,121
Speaker 1: And that's the track that I'm currently on.

1213
00:51:56,721 --> 00:51:59,961
Speaker 3: So it's like I am I'm working hard to make

1214
00:52:00,001 --> 00:52:02,161
Speaker 3: this happen, you know, those big dreams that I have.

1215
00:52:02,361 --> 00:52:05,161
Speaker 1: It's like I can't wait on anybody. So yes, it

1216
00:52:05,201 --> 00:52:06,281
Speaker 1: is my escape for sure.

1217
00:52:07,001 --> 00:52:08,601
Speaker 3: But I also don't like to wait on somebody, and

1218
00:52:08,641 --> 00:52:10,681
Speaker 3: I refuse to wait I'm one of those people that

1219
00:52:10,761 --> 00:52:13,321
Speaker 3: has to take action to make things happen. Somebody, some

1220
00:52:13,361 --> 00:52:15,521
Speaker 3: guy were to drop in that's a multimillionaire and drove

1221
00:52:15,561 --> 00:52:17,961
Speaker 3: a Bugatti Shiron or Sharon whever you say that, and

1222
00:52:18,001 --> 00:52:19,441
Speaker 3: he was like, Hey, you want to go on a date, Like,

1223
00:52:19,521 --> 00:52:20,761
Speaker 3: let me drop everything and I'll.

1224
00:52:20,601 --> 00:52:23,921
Speaker 1: Go with you right now. Of course, that's like, you know,

1225
00:52:24,001 --> 00:52:26,321
Speaker 1: that's me and I'm still like a gold digger. But

1226
00:52:26,801 --> 00:52:29,441
Speaker 1: that's that's where I'm at. That's stuff I'm chasing. You know.

1227
00:52:30,481 --> 00:52:33,440
Speaker 2: Is your daughter your your biggest probably your friend at

1228
00:52:33,441 --> 00:52:33,841
Speaker 2: the moment.

1229
00:52:34,801 --> 00:52:38,041
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, She's my whole world. She's an amazing,

1230
00:52:38,601 --> 00:52:42,041
Speaker 3: amazing human. We have a lot of very adult conversations,

1231
00:52:42,641 --> 00:52:45,921
Speaker 3: which which is good, you know, And I obviously don't

1232
00:52:45,921 --> 00:52:50,321
Speaker 3: tell her everything about my sad dating life, but there's

1233
00:52:50,441 --> 00:52:52,521
Speaker 3: there's things that she needs to know, you know, And

1234
00:52:52,681 --> 00:52:54,721
Speaker 3: if I'm talking to somebody, because we I have like

1235
00:52:54,761 --> 00:52:57,361
Speaker 3: a very open phone policy with her, she can grab

1236
00:52:57,401 --> 00:52:58,481
Speaker 3: my phone and use it anytime.

1237
00:52:58,921 --> 00:53:00,841
Speaker 1: Hey, she like can I order something on Amazon? Yeah?

1238
00:53:00,881 --> 00:53:01,881
Speaker 1: Can I? Hey? Can I borrow your phone?

1239
00:53:01,881 --> 00:53:04,441
Speaker 3: And go ahead? Just whatever? So if she sees text,

1240
00:53:04,721 --> 00:53:06,241
Speaker 3: you know, she's like, hey, who's this I'm like, oh,

1241
00:53:06,361 --> 00:53:07,960
Speaker 3: is this guy I'm talking to? She's like, Oh, how's

1242
00:53:07,961 --> 00:53:09,161
Speaker 3: that going. I'm like, hey, it's okay.

1243
00:53:09,601 --> 00:53:11,841
Speaker 1: Like I'll be honest with her, so she knows, you

1244
00:53:11,881 --> 00:53:14,401
Speaker 1: know what, you know what, what's going on in my life.

1245
00:53:14,441 --> 00:53:16,921
Speaker 3: I don't want her to think that I'm hiding something

1246
00:53:16,921 --> 00:53:19,361
Speaker 3: from her. My microphone's decide to fall down. I don't

1247
00:53:19,361 --> 00:53:21,121
Speaker 3: want her to think I'm hiding anything from her, you know.

1248
00:53:21,241 --> 00:53:23,561
Speaker 3: I want to have that open relationship and that way

1249
00:53:23,601 --> 00:53:26,441
Speaker 3: she knows that it's normal to date, you know, if

1250
00:53:26,481 --> 00:53:28,721
Speaker 3: you're if you're single, and I want her to feel comfortable.

1251
00:53:28,761 --> 00:53:31,761
Speaker 3: She goes into her teenage years like understanding that it's

1252
00:53:31,801 --> 00:53:33,881
Speaker 3: it's okay to date and it's not something that has.

1253
00:53:33,801 --> 00:53:37,001
Speaker 1: To be this this giant secret by any means.

1254
00:53:36,841 --> 00:53:40,521
Speaker 2: Did you did you get any negative vibes from anybody

1255
00:53:40,561 --> 00:53:44,081
Speaker 2: that you thought would give you positive vibes and help

1256
00:53:44,121 --> 00:53:44,521
Speaker 2: you through this?

1257
00:53:44,681 --> 00:53:46,960
Speaker 1: Yeah you did? Yeah? Yeah.

1258
00:53:47,001 --> 00:53:49,921
Speaker 3: There were like some acquaintances that I had back at

1259
00:53:49,961 --> 00:53:54,481
Speaker 3: the you know in California, at certain gyms that I

1260
00:53:54,481 --> 00:53:56,321
Speaker 3: would see every day, shake their hand like hey, bro,

1261
00:53:56,441 --> 00:53:58,081
Speaker 3: what's up? And it never hung out with them, and

1262
00:53:58,161 --> 00:54:00,601
Speaker 3: they just that just trashed me. After as soon as

1263
00:54:00,601 --> 00:54:03,561
Speaker 3: I found out I transition. Uh, there's some There's some

1264
00:54:03,601 --> 00:54:06,641
Speaker 3: guys like Valvenus is a perfect example.

1265
00:54:06,761 --> 00:54:10,681
Speaker 1: I'll totally name drop him. I have no problem. That's

1266
00:54:10,761 --> 00:54:17,281
Speaker 1: on the bitch now. Val and I were friends in WW.

1267
00:54:17,401 --> 00:54:19,161
Speaker 1: It was nice, like we got along, like me and

1268
00:54:19,201 --> 00:54:21,481
Speaker 1: him and Hawkins used to talk all the time. I

1269
00:54:21,601 --> 00:54:25,201
Speaker 1: was on X like a year ago, and suddenly in

1270
00:54:25,281 --> 00:54:28,961
Speaker 1: my feed pops up just this rant about me, Nila

1271
00:54:29,081 --> 00:54:33,721
Speaker 1: Rose and Jesselle Shaw and just like ranching about us.

1272
00:54:33,721 --> 00:54:37,081
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, bro, what's with the shade. I'm like,

1273
00:54:37,081 --> 00:54:38,041
Speaker 1: what did I ever do to you?

1274
00:54:38,161 --> 00:54:38,361
Speaker 4: Man?

1275
00:54:38,361 --> 00:54:41,201
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm not even back in wrestling. I'm

1276
00:54:41,241 --> 00:54:45,361
Speaker 1: just I'm just practicing. So I just like, I did

1277
00:54:45,361 --> 00:54:46,721
Speaker 1: not expect that from him at all.

1278
00:54:47,081 --> 00:54:50,961
Speaker 3: However, everybody else, especially in the wrestling world, like they've

1279
00:54:51,401 --> 00:54:53,521
Speaker 3: they've been super cool. I when I was coming back

1280
00:54:53,521 --> 00:54:55,841
Speaker 3: to wrestling, I would be at the Dungeon training with Natty.

1281
00:54:56,281 --> 00:54:58,561
Speaker 3: Like Natty and TJ are really good friends of mine.

1282
00:54:58,641 --> 00:55:01,201
Speaker 3: We were in FCW together, we were in WW together.

1283
00:55:01,761 --> 00:55:05,641
Speaker 3: Natty welcoming with open arms, so did TJ. You know

1284
00:55:05,721 --> 00:55:08,081
Speaker 3: all the crew I've worked with, Live Morgan, she was

1285
00:55:08,121 --> 00:55:09,521
Speaker 3: at the dungeon right before I come back.

1286
00:55:09,601 --> 00:55:11,801
Speaker 1: I got a chance to work with her. She was great,

1287
00:55:11,841 --> 00:55:16,241
Speaker 1: Brianna Brandy like all great people. Hawkins, you know, Cardona.

1288
00:55:16,281 --> 00:55:19,081
Speaker 1: I've seen them both multiple times since my transition. They're

1289
00:55:19,121 --> 00:55:21,801
Speaker 1: both just welcoming with open arms. Brian Cage like most

1290
00:55:21,801 --> 00:55:26,441
Speaker 1: of the AW guys like Jericho Edge, all very welcoming,

1291
00:55:26,561 --> 00:55:28,281
Speaker 1: Mark Henry, everybody.

1292
00:55:28,401 --> 00:55:30,961
Speaker 2: But is the being any you know, at the moments

1293
00:55:31,001 --> 00:55:32,721
Speaker 2: of going through sports, at the moment where there's a

1294
00:55:32,721 --> 00:55:36,161
Speaker 2: lot of transgender people in the sports scene now and

1295
00:55:36,201 --> 00:55:39,521
Speaker 2: there's a lot of like politics being brought into it.

1296
00:55:39,601 --> 00:55:41,681
Speaker 2: Has that been brought for? Is that being brought into

1297
00:55:41,681 --> 00:55:45,481
Speaker 2: the female side of you coming back to w W going,

1298
00:55:45,561 --> 00:55:48,761
Speaker 2: Oh but look at it. She's so strong, shit like

1299
00:55:48,801 --> 00:55:50,361
Speaker 2: she how are we going to handle here?

1300
00:55:51,281 --> 00:55:53,561
Speaker 3: You know, I don't think it was an issue when

1301
00:55:53,601 --> 00:55:55,960
Speaker 3: I was because I think I'm done wrestling. Just given

1302
00:55:55,961 --> 00:55:57,561
Speaker 3: get her the heads up. You know, I've got a

1303
00:55:57,601 --> 00:56:00,561
Speaker 3: fully torn ACL. I've you know, my back hurts. I'm like,

1304
00:56:01,321 --> 00:56:03,561
Speaker 3: what the crazy part is a backup? I've worked on

1305
00:56:03,601 --> 00:56:05,521
Speaker 3: this fully torn ACL for like ten years. I don't

1306
00:56:05,521 --> 00:56:09,561
Speaker 3: even know it was torn. So when the orthopedic surgeon

1307
00:56:09,601 --> 00:56:11,481
Speaker 3: saw my MRI. It was like two months after I

1308
00:56:11,561 --> 00:56:13,521
Speaker 3: was coming back into wrestling, like, oh, my knees aching.

1309
00:56:13,561 --> 00:56:14,961
Speaker 3: I need to have a look at it. And he's like, yeah,

1310
00:56:14,961 --> 00:56:17,401
Speaker 3: you got to. You've had a fully torn ACL. This

1311
00:56:17,481 --> 00:56:19,881
Speaker 3: is an old injury. He's like, do you need a wheelchair?

1312
00:56:19,881 --> 00:56:20,921
Speaker 1: I'm like no.

1313
00:56:22,401 --> 00:56:24,961
Speaker 3: He's like, are you navigating stairs? I'm like, honey, I'm wrestling.

1314
00:56:25,001 --> 00:56:26,921
Speaker 3: He's like, how the fuck are you wrestling? He's like,

1315
00:56:26,961 --> 00:56:28,961
Speaker 3: you need surgery. I'm like, I don't know. I put

1316
00:56:28,961 --> 00:56:29,921
Speaker 3: a brace on it and I go.

1317
00:56:30,881 --> 00:56:34,161
Speaker 1: But anyway, that being said, I think I'm just done.

1318
00:56:34,161 --> 00:56:35,521
Speaker 3: I've been out of the ring for nine months. I

1319
00:56:35,601 --> 00:56:38,121
Speaker 3: hurt my foot in like April this year, and then

1320
00:56:38,161 --> 00:56:40,601
Speaker 3: after that, I just like, I think I'm done. But

1321
00:56:41,961 --> 00:56:43,881
Speaker 3: I don't think there was that issue with me because

1322
00:56:43,921 --> 00:56:46,241
Speaker 3: I was so well accepted by all the girls. Most

1323
00:56:46,281 --> 00:56:49,441
Speaker 3: of them knew me, you know, the veterans there knew me.

1324
00:56:49,521 --> 00:56:53,321
Speaker 3: All the aw girls knew me. Sorea is a good

1325
00:56:53,361 --> 00:56:56,201
Speaker 3: friend of mine, you know, and she's introduced me to

1326
00:56:56,201 --> 00:56:58,121
Speaker 3: all the girls at AEW that I didn't know, Like

1327
00:56:58,201 --> 00:57:00,161
Speaker 3: ty A Valkyrie is a great friend of mine.

1328
00:57:00,201 --> 00:57:03,001
Speaker 1: So is John Morrison. Like, I don't think I would

1329
00:57:03,001 --> 00:57:04,801
Speaker 1: have had any problems. There were many girls that wanted

1330
00:57:04,801 --> 00:57:06,761
Speaker 1: to work with me, Like when I was coming back,

1331
00:57:06,881 --> 00:57:09,041
Speaker 1: Taya like she wanted to have.

1332
00:57:09,001 --> 00:57:10,921
Speaker 3: My first match back. We couldn't do it because of

1333
00:57:10,961 --> 00:57:12,881
Speaker 3: aw scheduling, which she wanted to be the first.

1334
00:57:12,921 --> 00:57:16,361
Speaker 1: She's like, yeah, I like, let's do this. So yeah,

1335
00:57:16,361 --> 00:57:16,601
Speaker 1: it was.

1336
00:57:16,641 --> 00:57:19,161
Speaker 3: It was very welcoming and it's you know, we know

1337
00:57:19,201 --> 00:57:22,281
Speaker 3: it's a dance and if anything, I'm I'm very safe

1338
00:57:22,281 --> 00:57:24,401
Speaker 3: to work with and it'd be me getting hurt before

1339
00:57:24,401 --> 00:57:25,001
Speaker 3: anybody else.

1340
00:57:25,401 --> 00:57:27,121
Speaker 2: Are you happy? Are you happy now.

1341
00:57:28,481 --> 00:57:29,201
Speaker 1: Now? Oh?

1342
00:57:29,281 --> 00:57:33,801
Speaker 3: God, yes I am. I'm happier now than I've ever been.

1343
00:57:34,481 --> 00:57:36,441
Speaker 3: I have my issues, I think like anybody else, Like

1344
00:57:36,881 --> 00:57:38,841
Speaker 3: we were talking about dating, like I get sad from

1345
00:57:38,841 --> 00:57:41,521
Speaker 3: time to time, and that I think that's human, that's normal.

1346
00:57:42,481 --> 00:57:45,961
Speaker 3: But as far as like defining happy, without a doubt,

1347
00:57:46,361 --> 00:57:48,721
Speaker 3: happier than I've ever been my entire life, And a

1348
00:57:48,761 --> 00:57:52,281
Speaker 3: lot of it has to do with my journey because

1349
00:57:52,281 --> 00:57:54,921
Speaker 3: as a guy, I thought I didn't give a shit

1350
00:57:54,961 --> 00:57:57,961
Speaker 3: about what when aboe else thought, But when I transitioned,

1351
00:57:58,001 --> 00:58:00,561
Speaker 3: suddenly I realized I did. Because I was just from

1352
00:58:00,681 --> 00:58:04,121
Speaker 3: a gorgeous guide to this hideous creature, you know, my transition,

1353
00:58:04,241 --> 00:58:07,401
Speaker 3: and everybody just through shade at me, and I had

1354
00:58:07,401 --> 00:58:09,441
Speaker 3: to figure out how to go out in public, you know,

1355
00:58:10,521 --> 00:58:13,201
Speaker 3: look at Mi a cross dresser and getting you know,

1356
00:58:13,481 --> 00:58:16,521
Speaker 3: people saying stuff and staring, and had to be a

1357
00:58:16,561 --> 00:58:19,201
Speaker 3: moment of just not caring what people think and learning

1358
00:58:19,201 --> 00:58:20,761
Speaker 3: to love who I was on the inside. And it

1359
00:58:20,761 --> 00:58:23,801
Speaker 3: sounds so cliche, like learning I've got a great personality.

1360
00:58:23,801 --> 00:58:25,761
Speaker 3: It's like, but you really do, Like you look in

1361
00:58:25,801 --> 00:58:27,801
Speaker 3: the mirror and you're like, I love who I am

1362
00:58:27,921 --> 00:58:29,601
Speaker 3: and I don't give a shit when anybody else thinks

1363
00:58:29,601 --> 00:58:32,561
Speaker 3: to me, I'm happy. I live a very normal life.

1364
00:58:32,761 --> 00:58:34,801
Speaker 3: And for those people, and this is going to sound

1365
00:58:34,841 --> 00:58:37,601
Speaker 3: really weird, for those people that don't know my story,

1366
00:58:37,641 --> 00:58:38,001
Speaker 3: and it's not.

1367
00:58:38,081 --> 00:58:41,361
Speaker 1: It's few and far in between. Nowadays most people they

1368
00:58:42,281 --> 00:58:44,441
Speaker 1: they might think they know but like what I am,

1369
00:58:44,441 --> 00:58:46,481
Speaker 1: but they're not sure or the half people don't know,

1370
00:58:47,121 --> 00:58:49,601
Speaker 1: and so it might sound delusional, but like I get

1371
00:58:49,641 --> 00:58:51,161
Speaker 1: it all the time. Like people go like I didn't,

1372
00:58:51,161 --> 00:58:52,961
Speaker 1: I had no idea you were trans Like holy crap.

1373
00:58:53,081 --> 00:58:56,361
Speaker 1: Like the neighbors in my area, most of them have

1374
00:58:56,441 --> 00:58:58,281
Speaker 1: moved away and the new ones coming in, they don't

1375
00:58:58,321 --> 00:59:01,041
Speaker 1: they never knew Gabe. They just know Gabby, and so

1376
00:59:01,081 --> 00:59:03,801
Speaker 1: it's like, I'm living. I'm living.

1377
00:59:04,241 --> 00:59:06,561
Speaker 3: I hate to say offuthentic truth. It's so cliche, but

1378
00:59:06,681 --> 00:59:09,001
Speaker 3: I'm living my life the way I want to. And

1379
00:59:09,041 --> 00:59:11,001
Speaker 3: I'm extremely happy where I'm.

1380
00:59:10,841 --> 00:59:14,241
Speaker 2: At right now. That's good. Any regrets, I.

1381
00:59:14,481 --> 00:59:17,041
Speaker 1: Have one, I have one regret. I have one regret.

1382
00:59:17,401 --> 00:59:20,361
Speaker 1: I was aey I got an annual pass to Disneyland,

1383
00:59:21,001 --> 00:59:23,001
Speaker 1: and my mom and I go, like I went twice

1384
00:59:23,001 --> 00:59:24,721
Speaker 1: when I was a kid. You know, my parents saved

1385
00:59:24,761 --> 00:59:27,561
Speaker 1: and saved. We have a lot of money, and Disneyland's

1386
00:59:27,601 --> 00:59:29,641
Speaker 1: fucking expensive, man, so I just dreamed of going back.

1387
00:59:29,641 --> 00:59:31,001
Speaker 3: My last time I went, I was ten years old,

1388
00:59:31,041 --> 00:59:32,921
Speaker 3: and I dreamed of going back. And finally, like when

1389
00:59:32,961 --> 00:59:35,001
Speaker 3: my company started taking off and I had all this

1390
00:59:35,241 --> 00:59:39,121
Speaker 3: financial success, I started going. Like I took my daughter

1391
00:59:39,161 --> 00:59:41,241
Speaker 3: and then when I burned her out, I was like, hey,

1392
00:59:41,241 --> 00:59:43,201
Speaker 3: I'm going to disney you want to go? She's like, no,

1393
00:59:43,481 --> 00:59:45,641
Speaker 3: I don't want to go anymore. I'm like, what kid

1394
00:59:45,681 --> 00:59:46,041
Speaker 3: says that?

1395
00:59:46,161 --> 00:59:46,361
Speaker 2: Right?

1396
00:59:46,401 --> 00:59:48,201
Speaker 1: But she's like I'm done. I'm like, well, I'm going

1397
00:59:48,201 --> 00:59:50,401
Speaker 1: to take your grandma. She's like okay, cool, and so

1398
00:59:50,561 --> 00:59:53,001
Speaker 1: she goes and stays with Priscilla. I take my mom

1399
00:59:53,041 --> 00:59:55,121
Speaker 1: and we go run around like we're ten year old, right,

1400
00:59:55,201 --> 00:59:56,481
Speaker 1: So we got annual passes.

1401
00:59:57,201 --> 01:00:01,121
Speaker 3: I was there like four months ago, and I get

1402
01:00:01,161 --> 01:00:03,761
Speaker 3: recognized a lot anywhere I go, which is I love

1403
01:00:03,801 --> 01:00:06,321
Speaker 3: it like it's and I'm not saying to brag. It's

1404
01:00:06,401 --> 01:00:09,121
Speaker 3: just it's a real testament of how many people my

1405
01:00:09,321 --> 01:00:12,681
Speaker 3: social media reaches and how it does with nutrition and stuff.

1406
01:00:12,721 --> 01:00:14,281
Speaker 3: And people always come up and like, I want to

1407
01:00:14,321 --> 01:00:15,841
Speaker 3: tell you my story. I'm like, let me hear it.

1408
01:00:16,321 --> 01:00:16,441
Speaker 1: Well.

1409
01:00:16,481 --> 01:00:18,601
Speaker 3: I was walking down Main Street with my mom and

1410
01:00:18,641 --> 01:00:22,201
Speaker 3: this very handsome guy came up to me. And I

1411
01:00:22,201 --> 01:00:26,401
Speaker 3: don't ever get starstruck with guys, like never, and I.

1412
01:00:26,361 --> 01:00:28,321
Speaker 1: Had just finished taking a photo of somebody else and I.

1413
01:00:28,241 --> 01:00:30,921
Speaker 3: Turned around and this guy's like, hi, Gabby, and I

1414
01:00:30,961 --> 01:00:32,521
Speaker 3: looked and I was like, oh hey.

1415
01:00:33,321 --> 01:00:36,761
Speaker 1: I was just like I was like hello, handsome, you know,

1416
01:00:36,841 --> 01:00:37,721
Speaker 1: and I just I couldn't.

1417
01:00:37,721 --> 01:00:40,561
Speaker 3: I could barely talk. He was so handsome, and he said,

1418
01:00:40,881 --> 01:00:42,441
Speaker 3: I just want to say hi. I don't want to

1419
01:00:42,481 --> 01:00:45,521
Speaker 3: bother you. You know, I really appreciate what you're doing

1420
01:00:45,521 --> 01:00:49,361
Speaker 3: for everybody. It's it's amazing. I'm like I'm like, Externally,

1421
01:00:49,401 --> 01:00:51,801
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, thank you. Let's say I really appreciate that. Internally,

1422
01:00:51,801 --> 01:00:53,921
Speaker 3: I'm just like gasping. I'm like, God, who is this

1423
01:00:54,041 --> 01:00:57,361
Speaker 3: hot man? And I looked at him and I was like,

1424
01:00:57,441 --> 01:00:58,281
Speaker 3: what's your name?

1425
01:00:58,321 --> 01:01:00,001
Speaker 1: And he just kind of paused for a minute, and

1426
01:01:00,121 --> 01:01:01,881
Speaker 1: I feel like I should have known his name, like

1427
01:01:01,881 --> 01:01:03,641
Speaker 1: maybe he was somebody I don't know, but he's just

1428
01:01:03,681 --> 01:01:05,961
Speaker 1: he's like, my name is Robert. Hi, nice to meet too.

1429
01:01:06,561 --> 01:01:09,401
Speaker 1: And we just had this very it was too long

1430
01:01:09,441 --> 01:01:11,641
Speaker 1: of a moment where it was just it wasn't It

1431
01:01:11,841 --> 01:01:13,681
Speaker 1: just felt like we're missing something. And we just kind

1432
01:01:13,681 --> 01:01:15,561
Speaker 1: of stared at each other and he's like, Okay, I'm

1433
01:01:15,561 --> 01:01:17,721
Speaker 1: gonna I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna go this fight. And

1434
01:01:17,761 --> 01:01:19,521
Speaker 1: so he took off one the other way and I

1435
01:01:19,561 --> 01:01:22,201
Speaker 1: looked back. And the crazy part is, ten minutes before that,

1436
01:01:22,281 --> 01:01:24,761
Speaker 1: I told my mom, I said, I'm going to manifest

1437
01:01:24,761 --> 01:01:27,841
Speaker 1: that we're walking around, some super handsome guy walks up

1438
01:01:27,881 --> 01:01:32,001
Speaker 1: to me. He matches my finances, he's handsome, he's got

1439
01:01:32,041 --> 01:01:33,721
Speaker 1: a great body, and that's just it.

1440
01:01:33,841 --> 01:01:36,321
Speaker 3: And so when this guy walks away, my mom goes,

1441
01:01:36,841 --> 01:01:38,761
Speaker 3: is that the guy that you were just manifesting, and

1442
01:01:38,761 --> 01:01:39,881
Speaker 3: I'm like, I think it might be.

1443
01:01:40,481 --> 01:01:42,961
Speaker 1: And I watched him walk away and he didn't. He

1444
01:01:42,961 --> 01:01:43,681
Speaker 1: didn't look back.

1445
01:01:43,721 --> 01:01:46,001
Speaker 3: His friends kept looking back, and I just kind of

1446
01:01:46,001 --> 01:01:47,201
Speaker 3: looked and I walked away.

1447
01:01:47,241 --> 01:01:48,721
Speaker 1: I'm like, I missed it. I'm like, I missed the

1448
01:01:48,761 --> 01:01:51,961
Speaker 1: fucking opportunity. That's my only regret because I missed Robert.

1449
01:01:52,401 --> 01:01:58,161
Speaker 1: Maybe you'll watch the podcast want to Find Me.

1450
01:01:59,761 --> 01:02:01,721
Speaker 2: Before we go, because I know where you got to go.

1451
01:02:03,401 --> 01:02:06,401
Speaker 1: Describe yourself in one wood fierce.

1452
01:02:07,161 --> 01:02:08,481
Speaker 2: Wow, that was very quick.

1453
01:02:09,481 --> 01:02:13,201
Speaker 1: I know what I am. Wow. How long does it take?

1454
01:02:14,481 --> 01:02:16,921
Speaker 2: They got a fucking thing? Some of them last for two.

1455
01:02:16,721 --> 01:02:23,041
Speaker 1: Words, Neil, describe yourself in one word. Me the muscle.

1456
01:02:23,081 --> 01:02:25,201
Speaker 1: I'm flipping this, I'm flipping the script muscle.

1457
01:02:25,361 --> 01:02:27,361
Speaker 2: I'm loyal, muscle, I'm loyal.

1458
01:02:29,201 --> 01:02:31,401
Speaker 1: Love it, love it awesome.

1459
01:02:31,641 --> 01:02:33,921
Speaker 2: But you know what, Gabby, I appreciate your time for

1460
01:02:33,961 --> 01:02:34,321
Speaker 2: coming on.

1461
01:02:34,361 --> 01:02:34,521
Speaker 4: It.

1462
01:02:34,521 --> 01:02:39,561
Speaker 2: It's been I'd love this interview entirely. Like I knew

1463
01:02:39,561 --> 01:02:41,761
Speaker 2: this would be a very good interview, and that's why

1464
01:02:41,881 --> 01:02:44,041
Speaker 2: I'm glad that I reached out to you and I'm

1465
01:02:44,041 --> 01:02:46,001
Speaker 2: glad that you came on. I appreciate your time.

1466
01:02:46,801 --> 01:02:48,241
Speaker 1: It was, like I said, it was my honor as

1467
01:02:48,281 --> 01:02:51,641
Speaker 1: my pleasure. You're a fantastic interviewer and I enjoyed the conversation.