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Speaker 1: Apogae Production.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to another episode about I ad Mom podcast.

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Speaker 1: Oh.

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Speaker 2: I was going to say, who was it that told

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Speaker 2: me there are only a few fridays? Took me?

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Speaker 3: It was you. Yeah, it was like somebody else's Instagram

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Speaker 3: that said like six Fridays until Christmas and that was

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Speaker 3: last week.

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Speaker 1: So now we're at five.

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Speaker 2: My kids have got two weeks left of school and

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Speaker 2: then they're on the Christmas holiday.

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Speaker 1: Wonderful.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so glad you're paying all those fees, I know,

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Speaker 3: I know for them to be on holidays, Yeah, all

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Speaker 3: the time.

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Speaker 2: And then that's the end of year eleven and then

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Speaker 2: we've got one year left. I'm kind of like, I'm excited,

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Speaker 2: like I feel resentful to paying another year of school fees.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm like, I'm you're done a bit. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm done.

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Speaker 3: You're sort of like, well, are you really going to

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Speaker 3: use anything that you're doing at school in order for

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Speaker 3: me to pay these fees.

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Speaker 2: I don't really understand how schooling works, which is hilarious

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Speaker 2: for me to say because my kids are like nearly

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Speaker 2: finished with it and I still don't get how it

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Speaker 2: works in Brisbane. But from what I can gather, the

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Speaker 2: only thing they have to pass next year is English.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's right, because they're not doing is it

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Speaker 3: an Atar? Yeah, they're not doing their final exams because

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Speaker 3: they've been doing the tape course, which then adds to

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Speaker 3: that particular, doesn't it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so they've already passed that rage. So they've finished

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Speaker 2: the course. They've passed, and then they get their certificate

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Speaker 2: and then I think there's like a graduation thing next year,

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Speaker 2: but that's now given them the equivalent of a high

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Speaker 2: Atar school.

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Speaker 1: So it's done. Great.

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Speaker 3: It takes a lot of stress out of it. Do

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Speaker 3: you want to hear something that's super stressful though? I

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Speaker 3: went to an eighteenth birthday party on the weekend.

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Speaker 1: That was super stressful. I was like that I couldn't cope.

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Speaker 3: I was watching them all, and I was watching them

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Speaker 3: all like there were foreign objects, and I was like, oh.

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Speaker 1: My gosh, Oh my gosh, oh my gosh.

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Speaker 3: And then this one where he was like getting so

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Speaker 3: drunk and because it was like really stormy weather, so

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Speaker 3: we were sort of majority inside and it's a beautiful

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Speaker 3: home and then he's like getting real like sideways and

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Speaker 3: then there were drinks going sideways and he's trying to

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Speaker 3: talk and his eyes are fucking crossing, and.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, this is so scary.

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Speaker 1: You're so scary. And then I looked at him.

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Speaker 3: I said, bro, put the drink down while you're walking

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Speaker 3: to the toilet. Just put it down, I said, because

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Speaker 3: I am not coping with watching you spill it all

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Speaker 3: over the floor.

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Speaker 1: Just put drink down. Anyway, he looked at me and goes, right,

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Speaker 1: oh mum, Like this was like, did you pull by

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Speaker 1: somebody else's kid?

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Speaker 2: Did you really think through your outfit before you went

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Speaker 2: twen eighteenth birthday?

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Speaker 3: I made sure that I wore jeans and a top

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Speaker 3: and it was not like crazy, but it was like probably.

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Speaker 1: Actually more in their age group. Yeah, I think about it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I wondered whether you tried to match the vibe

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Speaker 2: I did.

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Speaker 1: I think I did.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I also, because my girls weren't invited to the eighteenth

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Speaker 3: and solo parenting, I was like, well, what do I

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Speaker 3: do with you girls? So that was the first night

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Speaker 3: that that stayed home after dark by themselves for a

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Speaker 3: period of time. Oh yeah, I mean it was an eighteenth.

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Speaker 3: I wasn't going to get sideways at it, you know,

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Speaker 3: So I just went around haw did a glass of wine,

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Speaker 3: sang happy that they did all that, went home.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they were fine.

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Speaker 3: They did not close their eyes though, because I was thinking,

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Speaker 3: it's like nine point thirty ten when I sort of

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Speaker 3: come home, but I didn't leave until later because of

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Speaker 3: the storms. And then I got back thinking maybe.

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Speaker 1: There I sleep in front of the.

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Speaker 2: TV absolutely not wired, switched on.

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Speaker 1: No, no, yeah, no, we're fine.

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Speaker 2: Even my girl's age rate, Like if we get home late,

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Speaker 2: every light in the house is on.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. No, it was the same kid, It was the

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Speaker 1: same look. So did it go well? They did well.

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Speaker 1: They were very tired.

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Speaker 2: Next, at least the storm didn't knock out the power.

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Speaker 1: Imagine that.

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Speaker 2: I imagine that as.

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Speaker 3: Soon as I got to the party, So like, what's that?

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Speaker 3: I think a five minute drive away, my phone just

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Speaker 3: started getting peppered with messages. Hi mom, I just got

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Speaker 3: peppered with messages for like the two hours or two

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Speaker 3: and a half hours that I was there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they've got an actual phone, like.

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Speaker 1: A no, but they've got the iPads.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Imagine if your WiFi was imagine if you know power, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and your WiFi was out.

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Speaker 1: Imagine, Oh my gosh. I would hope that they would

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Speaker 1: go to the neighbor. I forgot about the Wi Fi sitch.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, shit, you need to get like a old school

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Speaker 2: like nock your phone or something like a burner, like

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Speaker 2: something that will call out.

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Speaker 1: A proper burner?

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Speaker 3: Am I a mad mum for redirecting the conversation? When

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Speaker 3: they come to me with hard questions, I give them

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Speaker 3: the opportunity by saying to them I appreciate the question.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to let you know that the answer could

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Speaker 3: be a little bit confronting. So it's one of those

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Speaker 3: moments that if you really don't want to know, then

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Speaker 3: you shouldn't really ask. Yeah, this is where it started was.

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Speaker 3: I've been very honest and open about how many like

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Speaker 3: fucking massive conversations we've been having at home, especially with

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Speaker 3: Grace at the moment, and it always is just really big.

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Speaker 1: Topics right at their time.

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Speaker 3: And we've talked about that through your years of your

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Speaker 3: girls doing the same thing, and I just sort of

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Speaker 3: get to that place where I can feel myself like

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Speaker 3: internalizing and just having like a moment of like, oh fuck,

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Speaker 3: like how do I answer this? How much information is

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Speaker 3: too much information for her age group? Because I still

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Speaker 3: believe that everything is age appropriate, right, Yeah, my friends

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Speaker 3: were sort of coming from the angle of going Yeah,

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Speaker 3: but Rach, if you're not telling her, she will find

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Speaker 3: out her own way through other people's sources of information,

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Speaker 3: which means I Eipad, laptop, phone.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and then you get no control over how it's

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Speaker 2: said and how much detail exactly.

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Speaker 1: Again, though, you come to that point where I was.

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Speaker 3: Like, right, we could be really honest with this, or

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Speaker 3: I can tell you when you're ready to know everything

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Speaker 3: about it everything.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this has been a number of topics, Katie. This

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Speaker 1: is not just one, right.

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Speaker 2: Just asking a lot of questions about like sex, ye, yeah, sex, sexuality,

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Speaker 2: conversation she's hearing at school that isn't necessarily involving her,

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Speaker 2: but like her friends are.

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Speaker 1: Chatting about it.

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Speaker 3: So then I'm super pumped that she's coming to me

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Speaker 3: to ask me. You're wanting my overview, sort of leaning

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Speaker 3: on me, which is what I want. I want her

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Speaker 3: to come and talk to me about it first and foremost.

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Speaker 3: Obviously her friends are an important role as well, but

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Speaker 3: I feel like some of the topics that we were covering,

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Speaker 3: even her twelve year old friends are going to have

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Speaker 3: different takes.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I used to find that it was the friends with

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Speaker 2: older siblings. Yeah, that would often know more information and

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Speaker 2: stuff like that, and they would be sharing stories about

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Speaker 2: what their older sister was telling them.

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Speaker 3: So then I was like having this moment with this

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Speaker 3: conversation with like and there was a couple of parents

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Speaker 3: right around the table. I didn't go into detail. Again,

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Speaker 3: I don't want to share like all the finder details

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Speaker 3: because again I trust her and she trusts me in

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Speaker 3: what we talk about. But Katie, I put it out

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Speaker 3: to the table. It was like, how much is too much? Though,

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Speaker 3: like where do we draw the line? And they go,

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Speaker 3: but you didn't really answer the question. I was like,

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Speaker 3: but I did answer the question. They gave her the

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Speaker 3: opportunity to like not have to know everything, because really,

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Speaker 3: at the end of the day, she wants to know

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Speaker 3: a little bit.

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Speaker 1: She doesn't want to know the whole thing.

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Speaker 2: How did she word the question?

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Speaker 3: The first one was like, what does sleeping together mean? Okay, Katie,

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Speaker 3: if I wanted to, I could just go to town

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Speaker 3: on it.

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Speaker 1: But I did. Then I sort of redirected it slightly.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, so what was your answer? What I sleep time?

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Speaker 3: She said, what do sleeping together mean? And I went, oh,

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Speaker 3: that's a great question. Where did this come from?

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Speaker 1: Okay?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and she said, at school, there's two particular people

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Speaker 3: and they were talking about how they spent the weekend

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Speaker 3: together and they slept together.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I mean, okay, that's.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well it's about seven.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, there's two different meanings. I'm guessing which the

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Speaker 2: meaning is. But technically sleeping together is just sleeping in

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Speaker 2: the same bed. I mean that.

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Speaker 3: I think they were just trying to rephrase it. So

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Speaker 3: I just said to her, That's why I said to her,

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Speaker 3: where does this come from? Because I thought she's going

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Speaker 3: to say to me, two of the girls had a

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Speaker 3: sleeper and they slept together. I was going to go

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Speaker 3: down that track. Yeah, you know, you're already three steps

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Speaker 3: ahead of every conversation that you're having. Yeah, these though,

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Speaker 3: these conversations like keep happening over the kitchen bench, or

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Speaker 3: these late night conversations, I'm going to call it late

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Speaker 3: night conversations with Gracie. I have to ask these questions

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Speaker 3: to know where they're coming from, to be able to

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Speaker 3: navigate the answer. Yeah. Again, going back to when you

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Speaker 3: put this out to other parents, some other parents like

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Speaker 3: were you're not telling other truth?

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Speaker 1: I was like, no, no, I am telling.

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Speaker 3: Other truth and I'm being truthful. I said, this is

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Speaker 3: just a different vibe to parenting these days. I said,

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Speaker 3: if I went to my mother at twelve and started

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Speaker 3: asking these questions, I would have been shut down. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I said, my mom and I we didn't have an

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Speaker 3: open relationship like that where I would just ask.

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Speaker 1: All of these questions.

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Speaker 3: Number one, I was oblivious to it, didn't care one

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Speaker 3: single bit.

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Speaker 1: Number two, we had Dolly Doctor.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, right, yep.

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Speaker 3: And I was trying to explain this to my girls, going, well,

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Speaker 3: you know, I didn't have the relationship that you've got

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Speaker 3: with me. You feel comfortable to ask me all of

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Speaker 3: these wonderful questions about life. I had a magazine. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I had a Dolly Doctor where the section was closed

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Speaker 3: off and you had to peel the thing off, and

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Speaker 3: then you would open up and you would get these

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Speaker 3: pages that had this information in it, which was all

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Speaker 3: through a question and answer kind of vibe.

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Speaker 2: Isn't it funny how when we grew up it wasn't

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Speaker 2: okay to ask those questions. We'll talk about that. So

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Speaker 2: it was supposed to be a very private. You should

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Speaker 2: feel shame if you're interested, That's what I mean.

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Speaker 3: But we like even Dolly Doctor for instance, Like even

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Speaker 3: Dolly the magazine was targeted at twelve to fifteen year olds,

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Speaker 3: and then at fifteen, sort of sixteen, you were sort

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Speaker 3: of looking for the Cleo because in the Cleo was

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Speaker 3: like full sex sections where you could like read.

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Speaker 1: About all of that no word of li Katie.

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Speaker 3: That's how I learned half of my questions like, oh

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Speaker 3: my god, is that why I'm feeling that way?

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Speaker 1: Or am I oh wow, that's why my body parts

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Speaker 1: look like that? Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: I did not ask my mother no, and so now

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Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm not not answering the question. I'm redirecting

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Speaker 3: them until I feel comfortable with my answer to her

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Speaker 3: and that it is age appropriate.

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Speaker 1: Does it make it?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: So when you say to her, like, how much information

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Speaker 2: do you need? Because that whole thing you talk about

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Speaker 2: of once you know you can't unknow, Yeah, does she

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Speaker 2: want to know all the gory details?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly what happens?

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Speaker 3: Why I redirect it back to her and go, well,

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Speaker 3: look where did this come from and what situation we're

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Speaker 3: talking about? Number one is a great way to talk

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Speaker 3: about what's going on but number two, it's sort of

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Speaker 3: like giving me an insight as to how far I'm

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Speaker 3: going to take it. Yeah, it'd be different if she

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Speaker 3: came and she was like, I saw this, and I've

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Speaker 3: heard this and and I don't understand that. My head's

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Speaker 3: in overwhelm. I would get that and I would go there, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: because that's where we're at.

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Speaker 1: But this is you know, this is where it was

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Speaker 1: based from.

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Speaker 3: But fuck me, Katie, parenting is getting harder and I

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Speaker 3: don't want to do it now.

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Speaker 2: I remember driving past.

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Speaker 3: We've got a lot of mate, You've got a lot

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Speaker 3: of adult shops along the same strip towards you out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I don't know. Like there's some really

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Speaker 2: kinky people in my neighborhood. I feel like, because there

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Speaker 2: are a lot of adults that.

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Speaker 3: Same strip, I don't know how they Yeah, it makes

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Speaker 3: so much money.

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Speaker 1: Again, there's kinky motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But I remember driving past adult shops when my girls

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Speaker 2: were younger, and Amelia said once she went, I know

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Speaker 2: what they're selling there, and I went to she went, yep,

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Speaker 2: strip of poles and sex wax.

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Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, yeah, gosh, those poles are expensive too,