1
00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:05,200
Speaker 1: This podcast was recorded on wrundery Land Always was, always

2
00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:15,720
Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. Hey chicks, I'm sal and I'm

3
00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:17,319
Speaker 1: out and this is two broad chicks to show that

4
00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:19,880
Speaker 1: shares life lessons and tips to help make you rich

5
00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:23,680
Speaker 1: in life. And oh my god, we're so excited trying

6
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:27,000
Speaker 1: not to think it will be cool sell because today

7
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:31,200
Speaker 1: we are joined by kick co founder and absolute icon Laura.

8
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,440
Speaker 2: Henshaw and icon.

9
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:32,880
Speaker 3: Wow.

10
00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:35,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that is very generous.

11
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:37,479
Speaker 4: I don't know about that, but now I'm so excited

12
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:37,600
Speaker 4: to do.

13
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:40,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we're so excited to have you on because

14
00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,600
Speaker 1: we're going to be covering a few things today, but

15
00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:44,640
Speaker 1: we want to talk about how to have a more

16
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:48,199
Speaker 1: positive attitude and outlook on life, and we feel like

17
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,000
Speaker 1: you're the perfect person to have on to have this conversation.

18
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,360
Speaker 1: But before we get into the juicy stuff, we like

19
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:56,040
Speaker 1: to start with a life lesson of the week. So,

20
00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:57,800
Speaker 1: as our guest of honor, would you like to kick

21
00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:58,200
Speaker 1: us off?

22
00:00:58,880 --> 00:00:59,120
Speaker 2: Yes?

23
00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,920
Speaker 4: Now, I can I reveal that you're coming on the

24
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:02,960
Speaker 4: kickpot of course?

25
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:03,200
Speaker 1: Yes?

26
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:06,959
Speaker 4: Okay, amazing and guys, everyone's about obviously you love the girls.

27
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:08,959
Speaker 2: We love the girls.

28
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,080
Speaker 4: It was such a good chat, so I am going

29
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,880
Speaker 4: to take a life lesson from the podcast, if that

30
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,720
Speaker 4: is okay'll be coming out soon, and that is it's

31
00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:20,959
Speaker 4: a bit of a sneak peak of what we learned,

32
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:25,440
Speaker 4: and that is to not make assumptions, which I feel

33
00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:28,360
Speaker 4: like applies to friendships. Like so it might be reaching

34
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,840
Speaker 4: out to someone that you want to make the first

35
00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:33,880
Speaker 4: move with and be friends with, or it could be anything,

36
00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:35,080
Speaker 4: could be like with hard.

37
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,800
Speaker 2: Conversations at work, just with yourself.

38
00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:40,520
Speaker 4: I think so often we assume, and this is something

39
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:41,680
Speaker 4: that I've had to work through.

40
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,160
Speaker 2: Quite a lot in the past year.

41
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:47,440
Speaker 4: I don't think you realize how many assumptions you make

42
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,640
Speaker 4: until you have to see yourself in the mirror and

43
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,760
Speaker 4: actually think about Hang on, what am I assuming here?

44
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,000
Speaker 4: And it's if you've never thought about it before. Obviously

45
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,120
Speaker 4: everyone's different, but it is likely you will be making

46
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,840
Speaker 4: a lot of them, and they will be controlling a

47
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:01,360
Speaker 4: lot of the.

48
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:02,480
Speaker 2: Way that you live your life.

49
00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:05,280
Speaker 4: But I mean, an assumption isn't true since you're assuming

50
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,640
Speaker 4: how someone react or what will happen if you say

51
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,440
Speaker 4: what you want out loud, or whatever it might be.

52
00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:12,880
Speaker 4: And so it has been a very very letting go

53
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:16,000
Speaker 4: of that and trying, and it's really hard. Sometimes they'll

54
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:19,640
Speaker 4: creep back in, but not making assumptions is honestly life changing,

55
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,840
Speaker 4: and so I love that. We it also applies to

56
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:22,600
Speaker 4: making new friends.

57
00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:28,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like a form of overthinking. Yeah that It's

58
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:29,800
Speaker 3: like we're saying, oh, well, what if this and what

59
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,600
Speaker 3: if that? And they think this will happen when it's.

60
00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:32,640
Speaker 4: Like, yeah, it's okay.

61
00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:35,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, you stress yourself out before it even begins.

62
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:36,680
Speaker 5: I love that.

63
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:38,079
Speaker 1: What's yours out?

64
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:38,519
Speaker 3: Okay?

65
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:40,920
Speaker 5: Mine is a tweet that I saw.

66
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:45,280
Speaker 3: It was from with Love Soleet and it said, once

67
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,760
Speaker 3: you get good at saying that's just not going to

68
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,600
Speaker 3: work for me, you take so much of your power back.

69
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:55,320
Speaker 3: And I was like, I fucking love that because I

70
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:58,280
Speaker 3: think we really really struggle, probably on the same tangent

71
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:02,919
Speaker 3: to set boundaries, and we as women are often you know,

72
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,120
Speaker 3: villainized for doing that or will be called a bitch

73
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,079
Speaker 3: or a bossy or whatever it is when we do

74
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,840
Speaker 3: set boundaries, especially with work, And I think being able

75
00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:14,960
Speaker 3: to get good at saying that's just not gonna work

76
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,440
Speaker 3: for me is such a fucking boss move.

77
00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:21,920
Speaker 1: That's such a sleigh in like them, it is good

78
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:22,880
Speaker 1: you can't respond to that.

79
00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,000
Speaker 3: You just have to be like, okay, yeah, So next

80
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,960
Speaker 3: time I'm hungover and you're like, do you want to

81
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:28,320
Speaker 3: go to the gym, I'm gonna.

82
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:28,760
Speaker 4: Say it's just.

83
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:30,880
Speaker 2: Damn it.

84
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:31,920
Speaker 4: She's too powerful.

85
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,200
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, my life lesson of the week is not

86
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:41,080
Speaker 1: as inspiring as either of yours, but it's still really important.

87
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:45,680
Speaker 1: I think because I saw that. Apple announced a bunch

88
00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:50,560
Speaker 1: of new developments today, including the introduction of the Genmoji

89
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:55,160
Speaker 1: I saw, which is a new AI feature for emojis,

90
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,440
Speaker 1: so you'll be able to type in to their new

91
00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:03,840
Speaker 1: AI tool and cutstomize your own emojis, which is a

92
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,000
Speaker 1: very exciting day.

93
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,680
Speaker 5: You're just going to put a cowboy hat on everyone.

94
00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:08,320
Speaker 3: And every single thing.

95
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,400
Speaker 1: It's going to be the best I love. Also, maybe

96
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:14,040
Speaker 1: a cowboy boot. See, there's some emojis that we've really.

97
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,840
Speaker 2: Needed for using. But what's the cat? What are you

98
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,760
Speaker 2: using it for? She just really likes the cowboy aesthetics.

99
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:23,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, the vibe, so you put it like so someone's like, hey,

100
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:24,880
Speaker 4: I don't even I can't even think.

101
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:26,279
Speaker 5: She'd be like, let's go out tonight.

102
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,640
Speaker 2: Yeah that is cool?

103
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:33,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, or like if you're really upset by something, but

104
00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:36,000
Speaker 1: you still want to make it like silly goofy mood.

105
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,039
Speaker 1: It's like the crying face.

106
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:43,560
Speaker 3: But my feeling cowboy crying partner that was Darren is

107
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,160
Speaker 3: the dude this thing exactly.

108
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,440
Speaker 1: So the future is here and I'm excited. All right,

109
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,719
Speaker 1: shall we get into the juicy meat of the episode.

110
00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:53,839
Speaker 5: Let's start us off.

111
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:01,200
Speaker 3: So you are probably one of the most positive people

112
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:04,120
Speaker 3: on the Internet that we've ever seen, and we really

113
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,760
Speaker 3: look up to you and I think it's incredible, like

114
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:10,720
Speaker 3: all the positivity that you put out. And obviously people

115
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,919
Speaker 3: are multifaceted, but I really want to start with asking like,

116
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,560
Speaker 3: how have you worked, because it would be work on

117
00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:19,600
Speaker 3: becoming such a positive person.

118
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,720
Speaker 4: Firstly, thank you. That is incredibly generous of you to

119
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:26,000
Speaker 4: say that means a lot. Thank you very much. Oh.

120
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:31,280
Speaker 4: I think for me, I am personally very affected by

121
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:32,800
Speaker 4: people's energy and it's.

122
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:34,080
Speaker 2: Something I've actually had to work through.

123
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,000
Speaker 4: Like we'll do a talk to two hundred people and

124
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,600
Speaker 4: I'll notice one person that's like on their phone and

125
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,200
Speaker 4: who again coming back to assumptions, they could be like

126
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:44,440
Speaker 4: telling their partner went to pick them up, or like,

127
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,320
Speaker 4: you know, their mum being like looking after their kid

128
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,560
Speaker 4: and them being like, oh, the bottles in the cupboard,

129
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:51,279
Speaker 4: you know it could be that, But I can't not

130
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:55,760
Speaker 4: absorb their entire soul, and then it makes it's so

131
00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,719
Speaker 4: and then I really struggle because then I'm like holding

132
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:00,960
Speaker 4: this naka which I don't. I'm working through like how

133
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:04,280
Speaker 4: to not fully transport their entire soul into me and

134
00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:06,960
Speaker 4: the energy. But because I think I struggle with that

135
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,640
Speaker 4: so much, I am so conscious of And this is

136
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,360
Speaker 4: not for anyone to think that's in my presence that

137
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:12,719
Speaker 4: the energy be positive all the time.

138
00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:13,359
Speaker 2: Absolutely not.

139
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,479
Speaker 4: It's just how I feel people's energy, so I feel

140
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,640
Speaker 4: I think because of that, I felt that.

141
00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:21,400
Speaker 2: I want to bring positive energy in.

142
00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:24,719
Speaker 4: Because of how much it affects me when people don't.

143
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,760
Speaker 4: And I can say it is a privilege to choose

144
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,919
Speaker 4: to be happy. There are a lot of and you

145
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,760
Speaker 4: can't be happy all the time, absolutely not, or choose

146
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:33,640
Speaker 4: to be positive. A look at things in a positive mindset.

147
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:37,440
Speaker 4: There are a lot of people in the world, billions

148
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:42,000
Speaker 4: of people who work three jobs and their life is

149
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,040
Speaker 4: at three jobs and things. You know that there's do

150
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,840
Speaker 4: you know the people that like things? Bad things just

151
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,800
Speaker 4: keep happening and happening and happening and a life. It's

152
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:53,440
Speaker 4: really fucking hard, and so I completely understand how for

153
00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,560
Speaker 4: that person to be like, you know, manifest or think

154
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,599
Speaker 4: things will be good and that you're safe. It's like, well,

155
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,160
Speaker 4: that's really really hard. But I think for me in

156
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:04,760
Speaker 4: my life, I have been privileged to be able to

157
00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:08,680
Speaker 4: choose joy, or choose happiness, or choose a positive mindset

158
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,960
Speaker 4: in a lot of elements. And I think it's like

159
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,600
Speaker 4: in running kick for example, there's so many times when

160
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:18,480
Speaker 4: things have been really difficult, or just being on social media,

161
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,160
Speaker 4: know where the trolls might come in or whatever it

162
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,160
Speaker 4: might be, like you can choose every day, Like this morning,

163
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,400
Speaker 4: for example, I was working up really early, but it's

164
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:26,680
Speaker 4: very windy in Melbourne today.

165
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:27,720
Speaker 2: We're just talking about it's a.

166
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:30,400
Speaker 4: Technic and we've just moved house, so we're in a

167
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:33,840
Speaker 4: rental and the trees are like banging. It sounds like

168
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,400
Speaker 4: someone is opening a gate, but it's actually the tree

169
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,280
Speaker 4: on the window. I really don't know how that works

170
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:41,360
Speaker 4: from a physics perspective. Anyway, I could have got up,

171
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:44,520
Speaker 4: I had a shit sleep, got up and I had

172
00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:47,400
Speaker 4: planned to go to the gym, but then my husband

173
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,440
Speaker 4: is away for work, so I had to do some

174
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,480
Speaker 4: things that he He was like, oh, can you put

175
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,360
Speaker 4: this here? If someone was a trady was coming today,

176
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,920
Speaker 4: so I to sort something out. So I ended up

177
00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,000
Speaker 4: getting to the gym twenty minutes later than I was

178
00:07:58,120 --> 00:07:59,440
Speaker 4: meant to. First of all, I could have just not

179
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,600
Speaker 4: gone because I was like, oh, it's cold, it's windy, whatever,

180
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:03,239
Speaker 4: I'm tired.

181
00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:04,040
Speaker 2: I had a bad sleep.

182
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,120
Speaker 4: But then I got there twenty minutes later, and I

183
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,200
Speaker 4: have to finish my gym session at a certain time

184
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:09,600
Speaker 4: to be able to get to work on time. I

185
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:13,080
Speaker 4: only had like thirty five minutes instead of normally an hour,

186
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:14,800
Speaker 4: so my session was cut in half. So I could

187
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,920
Speaker 4: have been so pissed off at Dalton because he made

188
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,720
Speaker 4: me do something that like I really like for the house, Yeah,

189
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,840
Speaker 4: and I should do anyway, but and been pissed off

190
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,240
Speaker 4: at the day like I didn't got hi I wanted.

191
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,840
Speaker 4: I didn't get to finish my session properly, or I

192
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,440
Speaker 4: could have been grateful for the time that I got

193
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:33,040
Speaker 4: to spend at the gym, even though it was shorter

194
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,360
Speaker 4: than what I had planned and it didn't meet the

195
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:36,319
Speaker 4: expectation I.

196
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:39,080
Speaker 2: Had for it. And let that set up my day.

197
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:40,920
Speaker 4: So then I can go through the day and thinking like,

198
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,640
Speaker 4: h everything shit today. You know, I've had a shit

199
00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:45,120
Speaker 4: work out, didn't get to do that.

200
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:46,240
Speaker 2: Then I've got was.

201
00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,960
Speaker 4: Back to back the whole day. Or I could go

202
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,520
Speaker 4: in and say, I got to move my body today,

203
00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,120
Speaker 4: and yes, it wasn't exactly what I thought, but like,

204
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,040
Speaker 4: I still had a great gym session. I said, you know,

205
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,280
Speaker 4: thirty five minutes in there and that was awesome. Then

206
00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,640
Speaker 4: I get to go and you know, do multiple podcasts

207
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,960
Speaker 4: recording today, which is I'm so lucky to be able

208
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,680
Speaker 4: to do that, right, And I get to be working

209
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:07,320
Speaker 4: in a company where where you know, the mission is

210
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:09,560
Speaker 4: so tied to my personal values and helping people and

211
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,320
Speaker 4: it's my life's work, right. But it's so crazy how

212
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,520
Speaker 4: quickly and for so many people, Like I know, I

213
00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:16,199
Speaker 4: know a lot of people listening might not run their

214
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:19,400
Speaker 4: own company per se. You might you know, might be

215
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,200
Speaker 4: in a job that you're not finding a lot of

216
00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:24,280
Speaker 4: joy in and that's completely normal for a lot of people.

217
00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:27,719
Speaker 4: But I think it's it's just thinking about all of it.

218
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,280
Speaker 4: We take so many things for granted and it might

219
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,240
Speaker 4: not be that, you know, you're doing super because we can't,

220
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,640
Speaker 4: like not everyone works for a purpose led organization, but

221
00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:37,880
Speaker 4: even if you don't work for purpose led organizations, like,

222
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,680
Speaker 4: how do you find purpose within the work that you're

223
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:45,080
Speaker 4: doing and find moments of joy within it? And in

224
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:50,000
Speaker 4: most instances we can, it's just how we frame it.

225
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:51,920
Speaker 4: Like we might have a really shit week and time

226
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,640
Speaker 4: as we have that, it's like then you have a choice.

227
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,120
Speaker 4: Especially if you have a shit day, you have a choice.

228
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,600
Speaker 4: You can carry that feeling into the next day, into

229
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,280
Speaker 4: the week, into the month, have a ship year, probably

230
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:03,800
Speaker 4: carry it into the next year. You know everything, and

231
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:08,240
Speaker 4: and sit in this resentment and anger. But what you

232
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,800
Speaker 4: then what I've learned to like when I've been in that, like,

233
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,679
Speaker 4: especially when you're in deep resentment type mind.

234
00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:14,720
Speaker 5: It can be hard to pull yourself.

235
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,480
Speaker 4: It's so hard to put yourself out of it. But

236
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:20,120
Speaker 4: it's also it's a choice often to be especially with

237
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:24,040
Speaker 4: resentment and just being angry at people and things that

238
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:27,080
Speaker 4: makes you, like I actually believe it makes you physically ill,

239
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:30,880
Speaker 4: like like a lot of like there's so many twings exactly, yeah,

240
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:36,480
Speaker 4: I thought exactly, And it's but it is like things

241
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,439
Speaker 4: the way that our body like the mind gut connection

242
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,880
Speaker 4: is very I'm definitely not an expert in it, but

243
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,320
Speaker 4: I do really believe in it. And so if you

244
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,760
Speaker 4: sit in this this thing of life, everything's hard, like

245
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:52,920
Speaker 4: I'm angry and basically cut half empty mindset, it's very hard.

246
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:53,439
Speaker 2: To get out of it.

247
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,240
Speaker 4: And also usually then even on the times that maybe

248
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,000
Speaker 4: you would have found joying things, it's very hard to

249
00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:01,280
Speaker 4: because you're always looking at it like it sucks, right, yeah, yeah,

250
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,280
Speaker 4: so it's like what but we always we have hard

251
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,559
Speaker 4: days and that and shit days, and you can't always

252
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,520
Speaker 4: you Definitely, I cannot be positive every single day. So

253
00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:09,760
Speaker 4: I don't expect that of myself from.

254
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,720
Speaker 2: No one should. But I think it's knowing.

255
00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:13,240
Speaker 4: For me, it's that I always think of the sun

256
00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:16,760
Speaker 4: will set and then rise again, and every time that happens,

257
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,360
Speaker 4: it's an opportunity to reframe. It's a new day, that's

258
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,920
Speaker 4: like today did not go my way. So I have

259
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,200
Speaker 4: a choice. I can think the whole week and right

260
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,080
Speaker 4: off the year, really because then it just keeps like

261
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:29,719
Speaker 4: no no belong yeah, Or I can choose to wake

262
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:34,200
Speaker 4: up tomorrow with a different mindset, and even though I

263
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,360
Speaker 4: might have adversity during that day or whatever it might be.

264
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:42,120
Speaker 4: I've got a mindset that I'm much more equipped with, Like,

265
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,080
Speaker 4: you're so much better equip when you're thinking about things

266
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:45,760
Speaker 4: in a positive way because things don't get to you.

267
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:48,520
Speaker 4: You're even like I find, especially like in my role

268
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:53,120
Speaker 4: at Kick as a leader, I if I come to

269
00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:56,400
Speaker 4: work stressed overwhelmed, you bring that.

270
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,080
Speaker 5: Into your team, especially as a leader in the team.

271
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:02,120
Speaker 3: I can imagine that a lot of the responsibility to

272
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,600
Speaker 3: continue a positive atmosphere in a positive workplace.

273
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,559
Speaker 5: It does start, like at the top leaders say the

274
00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:08,440
Speaker 5: cutural feeling.

275
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,800
Speaker 4: And definitely if someone comes in and they're a leader

276
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:14,720
Speaker 4: and they're stress stress, I'm going to now I'm going

277
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,360
Speaker 4: to be worried or whatever it might be. And so

278
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:19,400
Speaker 4: it's that's really really important. But I think it's then

279
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,200
Speaker 4: if you go into a conversation you know that might

280
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,440
Speaker 4: be uncomfortable or you have to talk through. And this

281
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:27,600
Speaker 4: is again something plugging the podcast We're So Good, we

282
00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:30,280
Speaker 4: spoke about this too, But it's you go into that

283
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,800
Speaker 4: and you've got your guard up because everything is hard,

284
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,360
Speaker 4: and it's I'm going to win and you're going to

285
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:37,080
Speaker 4: lose or you're going to Look there's twinners and losers mindset, right,

286
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:39,840
Speaker 4: but that's not what life is, and that the I

287
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:43,079
Speaker 4: find is like within leadership, my biggest learning has been

288
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:45,240
Speaker 4: going into every single room. It's not with the win

289
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:49,120
Speaker 4: lose mindset, it's that everybody wins mindset. And you will

290
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:52,800
Speaker 4: find then your solution orientated because you're not focusing on

291
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,160
Speaker 4: the problem, You're focusing on how to solve it, and

292
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,200
Speaker 4: you're able to look forward instead of just being stuck.

293
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,640
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think that's such a good point, especially on

294
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,480
Speaker 3: you know, choosing to look at things with a positive mindset,

295
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,280
Speaker 3: and it's looking at it and being like, Okay, what

296
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:11,160
Speaker 3: did I enjoy? What like that sucked and allowing that

297
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:13,960
Speaker 3: thing to suck whatever it was, and being like, but

298
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:15,880
Speaker 3: I'm going to choose to be happy about this, like

299
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,800
Speaker 3: even if you had a terrible day, being really like

300
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:19,760
Speaker 3: if I have a really bad day, when I get

301
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:23,200
Speaker 3: home and I get to like order take away and

302
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,240
Speaker 3: watch like my favorite show and just be in like

303
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,480
Speaker 3: my space that I love so much, I'm like, I

304
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:29,000
Speaker 3: love this.

305
00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,880
Speaker 5: At least I get this, And I think that's really important.

306
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:35,239
Speaker 3: But we also wanted to ask you about the overviews

307
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:35,720
Speaker 3: of your day.

308
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:41,160
Speaker 1: Yes, so on your stories, you often share your overviews

309
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,480
Speaker 1: of the day, and I feel like we've got a

310
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:45,760
Speaker 1: sneak peek of it even just now, because it is

311
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:50,120
Speaker 1: often jam packed. So how do you make time to

312
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,480
Speaker 1: juggle stress and everything that you've got on your plate,

313
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:57,680
Speaker 1: but then also make time to appreciate the good things

314
00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:00,240
Speaker 1: and make time to appreciate the joyful things happen in

315
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:00,640
Speaker 1: your day.

316
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:02,320
Speaker 2: Very good question.

317
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:06,200
Speaker 4: I think it's something that for me, I know, I

318
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:11,080
Speaker 4: function best when I am busy and doing, and for me,

319
00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:14,760
Speaker 4: like a big part of feeling fulfilled is within my work.

320
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,560
Speaker 4: But I think when you have a day that's sjam packed,

321
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,400
Speaker 4: it's so easy to be like, oh, I just wish

322
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,360
Speaker 4: I could, you know, do nothing or whatever it might be,

323
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,680
Speaker 4: or I didn't have this much stuff on. But then

324
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:25,880
Speaker 4: I think it's coming back to like I'm it's just

325
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:29,440
Speaker 4: reframing it, like I'm grateful that my day is full

326
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,800
Speaker 4: of things that I get to do that challenge me

327
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:34,280
Speaker 4: and help me grow and help me evolve.

328
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:34,600
Speaker 2: As a person.

329
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,080
Speaker 4: So I was listening to a podcast recently and I'm

330
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,000
Speaker 4: very I'm apologizing because I.

331
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:43,120
Speaker 2: Can't quote where this was. It could have been an audiobook.

332
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:43,440
Speaker 4: But it was a boat.

333
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:45,760
Speaker 5: You're not claiming it as yours.

334
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,680
Speaker 2: It's definitely. It's definitely a basi of research.

335
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,880
Speaker 4: And I did this bace of research on people who

336
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:54,600
Speaker 4: were stress and the impact of stress on your health.

337
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,960
Speaker 4: And they studied three groups, and it was people that

338
00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:03,160
Speaker 4: were they perceived their life as stressful, that they were stressed,

339
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:07,560
Speaker 4: and they perceived their life as stressful. They were stressed,

340
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,320
Speaker 4: but they didn't they looked at the stress in a

341
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:14,160
Speaker 4: positive way. And then the other group was people that

342
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,040
Speaker 4: didn't have stress in their life. They didn't feel stressed

343
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:16,800
Speaker 4: and they weren't stressed.

344
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:31,280
Speaker 6: I would like to meet they're all kids.

345
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:29,800
Speaker 2: It's so true.

346
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,640
Speaker 4: What was very interesting was the house and the like

347
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:37,080
Speaker 4: how long the people lived. The difference between the group

348
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:40,080
Speaker 4: that perceived the stress is negative versus the group that

349
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:44,720
Speaker 4: did not perceive the stress is negative was completely different.

350
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,840
Speaker 4: And so the perception of stress is very important. And

351
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,640
Speaker 4: it's the same thing with it. It all comes down

352
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,880
Speaker 4: to mindset. If you go into your day and you're like,

353
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,040
Speaker 4: I have a busy day, I'm stressed, I'm stressed. It's hard,

354
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,120
Speaker 4: but it's overwhelming, blah blah, that's how you're going to

355
00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,200
Speaker 4: show up to the entire day.

356
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,080
Speaker 2: That's how you're going to be in the entire day.

357
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,200
Speaker 4: Or if you can say, Okay, I have a very

358
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,160
Speaker 4: busy day today, but I've got things within there, Like

359
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,240
Speaker 4: it might be five minutes. Like honestly, going and doing

360
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:13,440
Speaker 4: a five minute breathing meditation is guided meditation where there's

361
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,120
Speaker 4: one on kick that I do, it's like four minutes,

362
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,800
Speaker 4: and it can make the biggest difference in your day.

363
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,120
Speaker 4: And I think what I tell myself, Like, I think

364
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,800
Speaker 4: if I look back to my eighteen year old self

365
00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:27,440
Speaker 4: and I was like told myself what I'd be doing now.

366
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,120
Speaker 4: If you look at how far you have come and

367
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,200
Speaker 4: what you have, it doesn't matter what your job is

368
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:35,120
Speaker 4: or what you're doing, but what you might be, how

369
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,080
Speaker 4: you make people feel, or how you show up in

370
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,440
Speaker 4: your day. There's so many things that we can be

371
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,240
Speaker 4: so proud of ourselves for. But I think when we

372
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:45,040
Speaker 4: look at our like now today self first add out

373
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:48,560
Speaker 4: today like again in the mirror, we're so hard. But

374
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,760
Speaker 4: if we went back and we asked our younger self

375
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,720
Speaker 4: like or we told our youngestelf what we're doing, we'd

376
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,360
Speaker 4: be so proud and so grateful to be doing all

377
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,520
Speaker 4: of those things. I think we often want what we

378
00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:00,240
Speaker 4: can't have, etc. So I think for me, it's it's

379
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,080
Speaker 4: just in that mindset framing of how do I perceive stress?

380
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:06,760
Speaker 4: And sometimes there are in situations where there are certain

381
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,840
Speaker 4: things that trigger me that I really struggle to manage

382
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:12,159
Speaker 4: my stress, but I'm trying to work through them because

383
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,639
Speaker 4: I know then, like I in my role, I will

384
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:16,200
Speaker 4: have it.

385
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:17,080
Speaker 2: I will have it.

386
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,040
Speaker 4: What comes with it is having a lot of shit

387
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:20,800
Speaker 4: on my plane, because like that's just a part of

388
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:24,159
Speaker 4: the gig, and I've accepted that. I'm not fighting it.

389
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,920
Speaker 4: I'm not like, oh, I want to have no meetings

390
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,200
Speaker 4: and I want to you know, not have a busy day.

391
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,600
Speaker 4: It's like no, no, this is what comes with the role.

392
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:35,400
Speaker 4: I've accepted that, and that's really freeing because then you're

393
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:37,760
Speaker 4: not fighting against it. It's like this is what it is.

394
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,919
Speaker 4: How can I make this, like mold this in a

395
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,359
Speaker 4: way that's going to work for me and I'm going

396
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,280
Speaker 4: to enjoy and change my mindset around it.

397
00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:46,840
Speaker 3: And sometimes that's like the stress talking as well, like

398
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,440
Speaker 3: when you're being like oh, all these meetings blah blah blah,

399
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:52,480
Speaker 3: whereas like if five years ago it's like that saying,

400
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:56,280
Speaker 3: and it's like like when you're constantly looking forward, you're

401
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,800
Speaker 3: not realizing that you're in the moment that five years

402
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,439
Speaker 3: ago you would have been really excited and just like

403
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,320
Speaker 3: having that moment of what you were saying. And I know,

404
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,040
Speaker 3: gratitude is a key word that you know, it gets

405
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:08,000
Speaker 3: talked about a lot that I think people have maybe

406
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:10,360
Speaker 3: become a bit desensitized to it, that they think it's

407
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,520
Speaker 3: a bit airy fairy or a bit fluffy, but it's

408
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,360
Speaker 3: really not. And it really is like a key thing,

409
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,119
Speaker 3: whatever word you want to call it. If it's just

410
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:20,439
Speaker 3: living in the moment, having appreciation, gratitude, just being proud

411
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:23,639
Speaker 3: of yourself in general is the thing that is really

412
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,760
Speaker 3: going to be the tool to learn how to do to.

413
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:26,640
Speaker 5: Get you through the day.

414
00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:30,359
Speaker 3: And obviously, as you've just said, like your role and

415
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,880
Speaker 3: your job is so incredible, but it would be really

416
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,119
Speaker 3: stressful and there would be moments that work has to

417
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:39,399
Speaker 3: come before your own happiness sometimes and I'd love to

418
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,560
Speaker 3: know how you juggle that internal conflict and if there

419
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:45,159
Speaker 3: are certain hard boundaries that you put in place to

420
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:46,679
Speaker 3: be able to juggle that.

421
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,960
Speaker 4: Yes, So the seasons I feel like I've got to

422
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,360
Speaker 4: see the seasons of work, and last year, for example,

423
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:56,479
Speaker 4: was a very busy time. And I think something that

424
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,600
Speaker 4: and I'm sure you guys would relate to this too

425
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:02,400
Speaker 4: as founders. You it's very hard to not have your

426
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:08,040
Speaker 4: entire self worth slush everything in your life built up

427
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:11,639
Speaker 4: kind of and this expectation on yourself that your business

428
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:14,560
Speaker 4: is your soul, like it's so deeply connected to who

429
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,840
Speaker 4: you are and what you do, and it's your project

430
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:21,439
Speaker 4: and your thing, and that can be really tough. I

431
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,560
Speaker 4: think too, as what I've had to learn is as

432
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:28,239
Speaker 4: well as a founder, putting your business first before, like

433
00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:32,080
Speaker 4: your family before, every before your health. There are things

434
00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:35,159
Speaker 4: that your business should not should not come before. So

435
00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:38,680
Speaker 4: if I like last year, if I was looking back,

436
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,639
Speaker 4: I was, I was like, and again it was a

437
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,480
Speaker 4: really it's really hard when I reflect on it. I

438
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,879
Speaker 4: think in hindsight, often we can be really hard on

439
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:48,119
Speaker 4: ourselves because we have the you know, we've had the

440
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,680
Speaker 4: time to reflect and we know more now and we've

441
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,560
Speaker 4: learned more and we've grown more. So I often I

442
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:55,080
Speaker 4: try not to judge myself based on the past because

443
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,800
Speaker 4: it's like now I have hindsight so much easier yeah, so.

444
00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,120
Speaker 2: I think it's but it is.

445
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:03,080
Speaker 4: It is. It's interesting when with boundaries around work, they

446
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,720
Speaker 4: are important. I do think it's very difficult to have

447
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,720
Speaker 4: black and white boundaries around work. Like so for example,

448
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,280
Speaker 4: if I was like, Okay, I'm never going to work

449
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:13,679
Speaker 4: after five o'clock, I'm not. That doesn't work for me

450
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,200
Speaker 4: because sometimes it's like, well, someone might need something for

451
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,080
Speaker 4: me and the team that has to be delivered that

452
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,320
Speaker 4: like it might be you know, we might be editing

453
00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:22,560
Speaker 4: the podcast video and has to go live the next

454
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:26,600
Speaker 4: like there's I find that very black and white boundary

455
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,960
Speaker 4: quite I think it's very important to have boundaries, and

456
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,120
Speaker 4: you have to have ebb and flows. So if we've

457
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,359
Speaker 4: had a really busy period at work, then usually after

458
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,080
Speaker 4: that there you know, there might be a weak or

459
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,000
Speaker 4: it's less busy and it kind of ebbs and flows,

460
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:41,119
Speaker 4: and that's really important. I think if you expect the flow,

461
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:43,240
Speaker 4: you have to have the air like you can't have

462
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,080
Speaker 4: That's something that I think is really important when it

463
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:47,560
Speaker 4: comes to boundaries.

464
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:50,080
Speaker 2: I think it needs to be given take on both sides.

465
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,720
Speaker 4: But yeah, I think as found as it is really

466
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,639
Speaker 4: hard because you're you're personal, you're doing your life's work

467
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,919
Speaker 4: really like and it is really hard not to do it.

468
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,480
Speaker 4: But I think for me last year, what I learned myself,

469
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,360
Speaker 4: again in hindsight, so I'm not judging myself, was that

470
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,320
Speaker 4: I was I was injured. I had really bad injuries

471
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:07,080
Speaker 4: last year with my.

472
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:09,360
Speaker 2: No, they weren't really bad, but they were.

473
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,919
Speaker 4: They meant that I couldn't run very far or do

474
00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:14,120
Speaker 4: much of my normal training.

475
00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:16,200
Speaker 2: I had a bulge disc in my back. I feel

476
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:17,320
Speaker 2: like you're allowed to say it was.

477
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:21,160
Speaker 4: Really bad related to me, but obviously not.

478
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 2: But that's just relative to me.

479
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:24,680
Speaker 3: I know it's not in comparison to anyone, but you're

480
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:27,240
Speaker 3: allowed to say the experience for you was really bad.

481
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 2: Yes, for me it was bad.

482
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:28,960
Speaker 4: Yes.

483
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,960
Speaker 2: And I slipped my arm open in a nightclob.

484
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 5: You were in the walls.

485
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:37,480
Speaker 4: Yeah. I fell over so many times and it just

486
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 4: was like but when I when you're like thirty and

487
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 4: you fall down the hill running, it's like very high

488
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,920
Speaker 4: impact and so you don't just like kids. I've watched

489
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 4: kids for and then they're fine, there's get up.

490
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, because all over as we had a fall.

491
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:53,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was gonna say I had.

492
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,760
Speaker 4: A fall, yeah, And then I'm like literally eight weeks

493
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 4: out because I've you know, hurt whatever. Anyway, I did

494
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,359
Speaker 4: a few things and it that. But what I also

495
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,960
Speaker 4: didn't do I then didn't put time into like my

496
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:06,119
Speaker 4: poor visio Elana. I love her so much, and this

497
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:09,159
Speaker 4: year I've been so committed, but last year I literally

498
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 4: canceled on her. I reckon like every second week because

499
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:13,280
Speaker 4: it was because of work.

500
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:13,960
Speaker 2: Oh, I have a meeting.

501
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,080
Speaker 4: Now I can't prioritize it. I can't make that work.

502
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:19,159
Speaker 4: And then what was happening. I usually have my I

503
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 4: usually train in the morning, but I couldn't train. I

504
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:22,719
Speaker 4: had so much work to do that I was like, well,

505
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 4: i mus get to the office at seven thirty because

506
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:27,640
Speaker 4: of like then it's going to make it easier. But then,

507
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:31,320
Speaker 4: because my workload was quite a lot, I would then

508
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,440
Speaker 4: stay at work until like seven or something, so it's

509
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:35,800
Speaker 4: a long and then I'd get home be like, fuck,

510
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 4: I have to do content because that's a hard thing too.

511
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,240
Speaker 4: I think with Steph and I, like we're the face

512
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,959
Speaker 4: of the business and we're also running the bus business. Yeah,

513
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 4: we've actually we're navigating how that can because it is

514
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,159
Speaker 4: it's trying to find it's trying to find that middle.

515
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:50,040
Speaker 2: Grack balance, right.

516
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:52,119
Speaker 4: But what that meant was I was on a screen

517
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:56,439
Speaker 4: like honestly so many hours of the day and with

518
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,000
Speaker 4: content too. When you're being you want to have space

519
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 4: to be creative, and it's very hard when to do

520
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 4: that when you're like I'm going to do it, yeah, exactly,

521
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:07,680
Speaker 4: And so I kind of was in this And then

522
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,160
Speaker 4: what also meant again, but when I think back, because

523
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 4: the on the weekends as well, I was working at

524
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,240
Speaker 4: least like both both days, I was not not like

525
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,840
Speaker 4: the normal big days, but I was still just had

526
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:22,119
Speaker 4: so we switch off exactly, and I was finding that

527
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:25,399
Speaker 4: I wasn't getting through my day, my task in the day.

528
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:26,800
Speaker 4: So then on the weekend, I'd had to do all

529
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 4: the work that I hadn't done. So it was just

530
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 4: it was just But then I look back and I

531
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,399
Speaker 4: asked myself, Okay, what would I have done differently because

532
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,960
Speaker 4: the workloads, I could have asked some more help, which

533
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,639
Speaker 4: I that's one learning. But I think sometimes you go

534
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 4: through seasons where it's like like, for me, there wasn't

535
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:42,920
Speaker 4: a lot that I could have given off my plate

536
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 4: last year, so that was just a really busy season.

537
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 2: But what I could have done is had.

538
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 4: More boundaries around that morning time and instead of thinking like, oh,

539
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:54,399
Speaker 4: I can't exercise as I want to, so I'm just

540
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 4: going to do nothing, which I think is one of

541
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,720
Speaker 4: the most common, like so much so many of us do.

542
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:00,200
Speaker 4: It's like I can't do this exact routine that I want,

543
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 4: so I'm just gonna do nothing, yeah, all or nothing exactly.

544
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,439
Speaker 4: And so instead I could have like and what I

545
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:08,000
Speaker 4: ended up doing was I started doing things like prioritizing

546
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 4: my physio And it sounds so silly, like, but I

547
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,679
Speaker 4: honestly I could not. I put so much pressure on

548
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 4: myself that to go to the physio for an hour

549
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 4: in the day, I felt so guilty, like, oh my god,

550
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,880
Speaker 4: I need to be And it's like, but that that's

551
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 4: something that I've had to work through. But showing up

552
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 4: for myself in that has helped me because it's like,

553
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,080
Speaker 4: you know, I'm worthy of doing this, right I am.

554
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 4: I to show up at work and be better at

555
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 4: what I do.

556
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 5: Have to look after.

557
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,359
Speaker 4: You have to have space. You have to have that

558
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,600
Speaker 4: space for yourself otherwise you can't you can't do it. Yeah,

559
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:38,199
Speaker 4: And so what I was doing I was then like

560
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,400
Speaker 4: building a meditation into the morning, and that helped a lot,

561
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,719
Speaker 4: Like if it was just five minutes, it's something. And

562
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 4: then I was doing my rehab exercises, which is again

563
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:50,359
Speaker 4: it's not it didn't give me the same kind of

564
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 4: endorphin rush as like you know, doing a full gym

565
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,399
Speaker 4: workout or going for a run or whatever. But what

566
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 4: that did for my mind mentally not waking up and

567
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 4: getting on my phone and scrolling because you know, like

568
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:01,479
Speaker 4: mindless scrolling.

569
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,280
Speaker 2: That's not it's not like I'm even looking at trends

570
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 2: or something to do.

571
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:04,879
Speaker 4: It's not.

572
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:05,919
Speaker 2: You know, there's a difference.

573
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 4: Is a difference when you're like looking for like an

574
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:12,639
Speaker 4: audio or whatever to your video and your fingers go

575
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:15,160
Speaker 4: numb and you're like, that is my sign to stop,

576
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:16,800
Speaker 4: but they're not good, like to wake up and do that,

577
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:19,760
Speaker 4: but instead to wake up and do something for yourself,

578
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 4: whatever it may be. So for me it was like

579
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:26,440
Speaker 4: my rehab exercises, and even though it wasn't my normal

580
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,360
Speaker 4: workout or whatever, what that did for first of all,

581
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 4: the discipline to get up and do it when I

582
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,680
Speaker 4: didn't want to do it, but I was showing up

583
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:35,959
Speaker 4: for me was huge and that has then just I've

584
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 4: been able to stack that, like habit, stack that and.

585
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 2: Build up from there.

586
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 4: And then this year I just feel so much stronger

587
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 4: as it like on my body, but my mind's like

588
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 4: I have shown up for myself.

589
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 2: And I didn't want to.

590
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 3: Have an adversity to like during your time going against

591
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 3: like the push and pull of the universe and life

592
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,520
Speaker 3: and all that stuff. Hearing you speak about, you know,

593
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 3: really being tapped into the energy people are putting out

594
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 3: and always wanting to put out positive energy and setting

595
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 3: boundaries at work and like literally being stressed but having

596
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:11,920
Speaker 3: to push past that. It reminded me of this question

597
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 3: that's in like the Reflex conversation cards, and it's a

598
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:17,159
Speaker 3: question of would you rather be liked or respected?

599
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 4: It's such a good question and it has changed so

600
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 4: I am not a good leader if I only want

601
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 4: to be liked.

602
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:27,720
Speaker 2: I want to be respected.

603
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 4: I have learned this a lot about myself in the

604
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 4: past three years, and I think now because again I'm

605
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,120
Speaker 4: in a season where work is kind of very big

606
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 4: priority in my life.

607
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:41,240
Speaker 2: So it's kind of a lot of yeah, okay.

608
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,440
Speaker 5: It's part of your world. Yeah, it's a big part

609
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:43,880
Speaker 5: of your way.

610
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:47,000
Speaker 4: And that's something that I have had to face because

611
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 4: you're not I do believe, and I was like this,

612
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:52,840
Speaker 4: I was not a good leader when I wanted to

613
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 4: be liked by everyone, because then you're not giving feedback.

614
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:59,240
Speaker 4: Feedback actually helps people grow and learn. And also when

615
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 4: you think about your team, you're there to challenge each other.

616
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:05,400
Speaker 4: Also everyone's there to they've got KPIs, they've got things

617
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:08,120
Speaker 4: that they need to need to do also to show

618
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 4: up for the team. Like if you have people that

619
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 4: aren't performing within a team, or a toxic within the culture,

620
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 4: whatever that might be, that impacts everyone's experience at work

621
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 4: and it makes the biggest, the biggest difference in the company.

622
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,879
Speaker 4: And when in that instance, if things aren't working and

623
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:26,680
Speaker 4: you just care about being liked, you're never going to

624
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 4: have those conversations. You're not going to put And what

625
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,840
Speaker 4: I've learned as well is when you when you challenge

626
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 4: people and as a leader and you in you give thoughtful,

627
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 4: considered feedback that might feel uncomfortable, the respect that they

628
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 4: have for you and how much more fulfilled they feel

629
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:48,160
Speaker 4: in their role is tenfold. On walking around just trying

630
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,920
Speaker 4: wanting everyone to like you and laugh at your jokes.

631
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 2: That's not a leader.

632
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,200
Speaker 4: So I and that's something that I've had to learn

633
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,920
Speaker 4: throughout the past few years. But for me it's more

634
00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,040
Speaker 4: important now to be I think in terms of my

635
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:04,920
Speaker 4: personal life, I'm probably still on the journey of what

636
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 4: that looks like, what that looks like, and what that means.

637
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 2: But for me, it's to be respected.

638
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, speaking of podcasts, you have started this mini series

639
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 3: or you created this mini series, which was incredible, so

640
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,880
Speaker 3: I know that you've found this really really helpful.

641
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:26,640
Speaker 1: Yes, so do I want kids? Honestly incredible. As soon

642
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,639
Speaker 1: as I saw that you were working on this, I

643
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:32,639
Speaker 1: was like, finally somebody is having this conversation because for

644
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,640
Speaker 1: me personally, I've been with my partner for almost sixteen

645
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 1: years now. We met when I was fifteen.

646
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 4: Childhood sweetheart, Yeah is what you call it? No, ye, Yeah,

647
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 4: I'm met on my face.

648
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 2: Oh my god, when you met on.

649
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 4: My spec Yeah yeah, amazing. Yeah.

650
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 1: So but I think because of that, a lot of

651
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 1: people like, but you don't have kids yet or when

652
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 1: are you gonna have kids? And I have personally never

653
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 1: wanted to have kids, but the more that people in

654
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 1: my life having them, I often think to myself. Am

655
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 1: I going to regret this? Am I not going to

656
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 1: feel fulfilled? Or am I a horrible person? Like? Is

657
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 1: there something wrong with me that I don't have this

658
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 1: maternal instinct?

659
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 4: Starch society makes us feel like that.

660
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, but I like really love every like

661
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 1: all my friends and family, and I really love my

662
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,520
Speaker 1: partner and I do think that we would make incredible

663
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 1: parents if we had to. And I also want to

664
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 1: address that being able to have the choice to have

665
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 1: children is a privilege that many people don't have. But

666
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, is there something wrong with me? So I

667
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 1: wanted to start with a question that I think a

668
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 1: lot of people have, is making the choice not to

669
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 1: have kids selfish?

670
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 4: My god, Okay, this is a great question. I'm so

671
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 4: sorry you feel like that you shouldn't. And this is

672
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 4: something that in the podcast if you are it's actually

673
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:53,160
Speaker 4: having children is a life altering decision, like it is

674
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 4: truly it changes your life.

675
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,680
Speaker 2: If you don't want to have children, you do not

676
00:29:58,800 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 2: have to.

677
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 4: And I think when people say and I think it's

678
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 4: definitely projecting when people come back and they're like, you know, oh,

679
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 4: you'll evolve, Like, oh, it's just a phase. It's like, no,

680
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 4: it's not a phase, like this is a value that

681
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 4: I have. I do not want to have children, and

682
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 4: so you don't have to grow out of it because

683
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 4: there's nothing There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. And

684
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 4: I think for a lot of people that are in

685
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 4: generations before us, and it's because a lot of them

686
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 4: are paved the path for us, which you know we're

687
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:27,880
Speaker 4: so grateful for, they weren't able to say don't want

688
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 4: to have children.

689
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 2: It was so much more. It's taboo now, but it

690
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 2: was even more to boot. So I think often it's.

691
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 4: A projection of like again, it's like coming back to

692
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 4: saying what we want. As women, we are programmed to

693
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 4: never say what we want, and that is so fucked

694
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 4: because people can Our life is our life, like no

695
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 4: one else has to live a life and deal with

696
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 4: the choices that we really make most of the time.

697
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 4: Except us. We're the ones that have to, you know,

698
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 4: if we decide to have children and are able to

699
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 4: have the baby, raise the baby, not sleep, the impact

700
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 4: on the relationship, etc. So I think it's I think

701
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 4: for a lot of the people that are responding like that,

702
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 4: there's often probably a few generations ahead, like maybe in

703
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 4: law's parents, whatever, cousin, so whoever it is, it's a

704
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 4: projection that they never ever ever got to be asked

705
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 4: do you want to have kids or not?

706
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 2: They just had to.

707
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,160
Speaker 4: And so when people are in everything in life, when

708
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 4: people question things that we've always thought is the status

709
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 4: quo and in a pronatal and pronatal I did not

710
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,080
Speaker 4: know what that meant before I started the podcast. So

711
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 4: if anyone else doesn't know, it's in our society's basically

712
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 4: we're pro kids. So you the assumption is that we

713
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 4: will have children.

714
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the norm exactly, and for women as well.

715
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 4: I mean, we couldn't open a bank account until like

716
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 4: fifty or something years ago. Like our job in society

717
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 4: was to bear children, and so there's so much that

718
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 4: we But now we live in a society where most

719
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 4: families with the cost of living, both people, if in

720
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:54,280
Speaker 4: a heterosexual relationship, work, and it's there's so many, so

721
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 4: many things.

722
00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 2: That are different to before.

723
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 4: So I think if anyone's listening and they say that

724
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:04,080
Speaker 4: to you, it's like that's them projecting on you. They're

725
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:05,959
Speaker 4: not going to be raising a kid for you, like

726
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 4: they're not in ten years. If you have had children,

727
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:12,040
Speaker 4: or haven't and you didn't want that. They're not there.

728
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 2: They're not going to be in your house helping you.

729
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 4: They've gone off because they're putting what they want first.

730
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:18,960
Speaker 4: They've lived their life, and so you have to live yours,

731
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:20,240
Speaker 4: and so I think that's really important.

732
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 2: The question around are you selfish?

733
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 4: I love this question because this is something that as

734
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:27,960
Speaker 4: in having these conversations and with a lot of my

735
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 4: girlfriends who haven't had kids yet. For us, we also

736
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 4: lost like three years of our late twenties in COVID,

737
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 4: which was like, you know, the travel years. I just

738
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 4: feel like we were robbed if that mass so much

739
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,479
Speaker 4: more like I wanted to do with my career, with

740
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 4: my life before having kids, right if I am lucky

741
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 4: enough to have them and able to have them. But

742
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 4: I think with the selfish thing, what's really interesting is

743
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,640
Speaker 4: through the podcast and through a lot of the conversations

744
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:59,320
Speaker 4: we explored it's not it's also selfish to want to

745
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 4: have children because because a lot of people have children

746
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 4: because they don't want to be lonely when they're older,

747
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 4: and they don't want to have Christmas by themselves.

748
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 2: And they want people to look after them.

749
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 4: That's selfish. You're not having a that's not for the

750
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 4: greater good, that's for yourself fright. Yeah, and so it's

751
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 4: being a parent can be selfless because you have to

752
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 4: put you know, the child first, et cetera. But it

753
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 4: can also be selfish because you're bringing someone into the world.

754
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 2: And we had exactly yeah, and.

755
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:27,680
Speaker 4: Also you want to bring it also can be And

756
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 4: it was really interesting. We had Meghan Laskam, who's a

757
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 4: relationship expert and has worked with and being a counselor

758
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 4: for twelve years and work with so many different couples

759
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:39,800
Speaker 4: and what we what Meghan spoke about was so interesting

760
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 4: and I was like, I've never thought about like that.

761
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 4: A lot of people like I want to have a

762
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 4: mini me in the world. That's actually quite quite that's

763
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 4: you know, there's no judgment, but if you're going to

764
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 4: talk about being selfish or not, like that's quite egotistical

765
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 4: in somewe it's a bit of ego and like it's

766
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 4: a bit of selfishness in that. And so and then

767
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:59,320
Speaker 4: I think you could say too with like the there

768
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 4: are a lot of vironmental reasons to not bring children

769
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 4: into the world, more people into the world right now,

770
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:07,240
Speaker 4: and so you could say you're selfish to have children.

771
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 4: You could also say your selfish not to have children.

772
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 4: I think it's like it's reframing that and not And

773
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 4: again that's because society makes us feel that weish like

774
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 4: and selfish prioritizing your own hundred and so what it's

775
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:24,160
Speaker 4: important to And this is something that I've worked through

776
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 4: as well personally, because I find being selfish I'm really

777
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 4: I don't like the word because when you look at

778
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:34,680
Speaker 4: the definition of the word selfish, it means you don't

779
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 4: respect other people essentially, and like you like that's and

780
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 4: not I don't want to No one wants to go

781
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:42,719
Speaker 4: through life being like that. I care about people around us,

782
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:46,359
Speaker 4: but I've had to reframe it to for self, and

783
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 4: that feels much nicer. That's not about putting other people down.

784
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 4: That's not about deciding you're just going to do something

785
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:52,920
Speaker 4: it's going to impact so many people and not caring

786
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:53,879
Speaker 4: and talking through it.

787
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:55,799
Speaker 2: But for self means you're.

788
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 4: Living your life for you, which is really really important.

789
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:01,280
Speaker 4: And I think the only reason we would feel selfish

790
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,280
Speaker 4: or not selfish for wanting to have kids is because

791
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:05,520
Speaker 4: of the way society makes us feel and all these

792
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 4: assumptions and judgments from around us that actually are just

793
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:11,600
Speaker 4: other people's belief systems that we don't.

794
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 2: Have to take on.

795
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:16,760
Speaker 1: That's so true because it really doesn't impact anyone except

796
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 1: for you and your partner. So I think as long

797
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:23,200
Speaker 1: as you're on the same page and you're both open

798
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 1: with your position there, then you're not being selfish.

799
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 3: I was really starting to cry in that, Like, I

800
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 3: just I think that is just really powerful, and I think,

801
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 3: like I'm just being your best friend right now, but

802
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,799
Speaker 3: I think you've been really like invalidated in how you

803
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:43,359
Speaker 3: felt for a really long times. Okay, now I'm going

804
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 3: to cry, And I just think it's really great that

805
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 3: you can hear that because you haven't been able to

806
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:51,279
Speaker 3: hear that for a really long time, and that your

807
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 3: feelings are really valid and it's not selfish.

808
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:57,240
Speaker 1: Oh thank you, and thank you as well. Yeah, it's true,

809
00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:02,400
Speaker 1: like hearing it from someone that I is like so

810
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,279
Speaker 1: validating for me, and I do respect you so much,

811
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 1: and I think, you know, I just hear people saying like, oh, well,

812
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:13,760
Speaker 1: like has sally softened to the idea? Yeah, and even

813
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:17,120
Speaker 1: that I'm like even that visual to me that I'm

814
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,279
Speaker 1: like this stone cold person that doesn't want to have

815
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 1: children when I am like a really empathetic person like you,

816
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 1: like I take on everybody else's emotions constantly, I'm like,

817
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 1: I can't believe people see me like that. So I

818
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,360
Speaker 1: feel like you've really validated.

819
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:35,319
Speaker 2: And explained it's their projections.

820
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,880
Speaker 4: And I think as well on that the one the

821
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,279
Speaker 4: biggest learning out of the entire series. And we spoke

822
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:43,040
Speaker 4: to people that had had were child free by choice,

823
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:44,480
Speaker 4: child free not by choice.

824
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 2: That was really interesting.

825
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,120
Speaker 4: We spoke to this incredible woman, Karen, She's about fifty

826
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:51,319
Speaker 4: three years old, and she wanted children, wasn't able to

827
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 4: have them, And in all of these conversations, we always

828
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 4: came back to the same thing. And it was because

829
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,319
Speaker 4: the thing that I fucking hate is when people are like, oh,

830
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:03,840
Speaker 4: you don't know love until you have a child, because

831
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:06,680
Speaker 4: that is so fucking judgmental that it makes infers that like, oh,

832
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:08,799
Speaker 4: real love is only between a parent and a child.

833
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,239
Speaker 4: First of all, there are so many people that I

834
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:14,399
Speaker 4: know that hate their parents and they don't talk. It's

835
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,959
Speaker 4: not guaranteed that your child's going to look after you

836
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 4: or be your best friend your whole life. It's like

837
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:21,120
Speaker 4: that is putting so much pressure on this child to

838
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:25,239
Speaker 4: fill voids in your life. And also it's your child

839
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 4: is dependent on you for a season for like, you know,

840
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:29,960
Speaker 4: fifteen years of their life. Then when you know fifteen

841
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,319
Speaker 4: to eighteen, they're different whatever. Then they move out, then

842
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,839
Speaker 4: they have their own family, and it's like then it's

843
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,239
Speaker 4: like they might not be there for you all the time.

844
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:39,000
Speaker 4: You can't put that expectation on them, and they're going

845
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 4: to fill that void. And so the thing that came

846
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 4: out of every single episode is that if you have

847
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 4: kids or don't, you will not have any less or

848
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:48,160
Speaker 4: more love.

849
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 2: Joy, or community in your life.

850
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:53,399
Speaker 4: And I think society makes us think that we will

851
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:57,279
Speaker 4: have no love and no joy and no relationships if

852
00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 4: we don't have children, And in that was one of

853
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:01,759
Speaker 4: the most incredible and special things to come out of

854
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 4: the podcast. Your life will have all of those things

855
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 4: in it if you have kids or not.

856
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:08,240
Speaker 5: I love that that's so powerful.

857
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:11,239
Speaker 1: Do you have any advice for anybody listening who is

858
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:14,279
Speaker 1: sort of weighing up that decision whether or not to

859
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:16,399
Speaker 1: have kids, but they don't know whether or not they're

860
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:19,480
Speaker 1: listening to their heart or if they're listening to society.

861
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:21,600
Speaker 1: How do you kind of juggle with those two things

862
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 1: to prioritize your happiness.

863
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,720
Speaker 2: It's so hard and it's coming back to your values.

864
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:29,480
Speaker 4: So in the first episode, we had and davidman on

865
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:33,520
Speaker 4: and davidman is a she's a parenthood clarity mental wow,

866
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,759
Speaker 4: yeah wow, she's a way job time yeah job.

867
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 2: And what's amazing with Anne as well?

868
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 4: Anne actually did want children and then because of her

869
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:44,480
Speaker 4: so she separates, which is I thought was amazing the

870
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 4: difference between desire and decision. So you might desire to

871
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 4: have children, So she did desire to have children, but

872
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:55,400
Speaker 4: then her partner sadly passed away, and so then she

873
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 4: made the decision to not have children because within her

874
00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 4: life circumstance answers, it didn't make sense anymore. And what

875
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:06,799
Speaker 4: I like about separating it is that for people that

876
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:09,400
Speaker 4: do want to have children and aren't able to, I

877
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,799
Speaker 4: think it doesn't make it like it's just this one

878
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 4: big thing. It's like you might have the desire, but

879
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 4: then you might not be able to and that's okay,

880
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 4: And there's other elements you have to consider around.

881
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 2: You know, if you aren't in a relationship, do you

882
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 2: want to raise that child? By yourself.

883
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 4: You might have the desire, but then it doesn't make

884
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 4: sense to do it. Might be obviously the cost of living, like,

885
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:32,120
Speaker 4: there's so many factors that need to come into it,

886
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,360
Speaker 4: and so separating that is really I thought that was

887
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 4: really powerful. And then the other thing that Anne speaks

888
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 4: about is going deep in yourself and giving yourself permission.

889
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:45,240
Speaker 2: To ask what do I want? What do I value?

890
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 4: And if that's not kids, that's okay, And it's doing

891
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 4: it's separately. This is what I found really interesting doing

892
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:55,080
Speaker 4: it separately to your partner because I think as well, like,

893
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 4: obviously there's societal pressures to like, you know, want to

894
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:00,360
Speaker 4: thinking that we need to have children, et cetera. But

895
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 4: then especially if you've been with your partner for such

896
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 4: a long time, it's actually becomes really difficult to kind

897
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 4: of decipher, oh do I want this or is this

898
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,640
Speaker 4: like what my partner wants? And it's become like my

899
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 4: belief system, but I don't know if it is. And

900
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:15,759
Speaker 4: so that's really important to do it separately and go

901
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 4: and do the work, and speaks through a lot in

902
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:20,400
Speaker 4: a lot more detailed the episode a lot better than

903
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,799
Speaker 4: I'm doing it right now of how to kind of

904
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:27,759
Speaker 4: go deep within yourself and ask yourself that question. But

905
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 4: what's also interesting now and Anne hasn't had kids, and

906
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 4: so she what I loved with anne story and her work,

907
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,839
Speaker 4: so she had the desire wasn't able to but something

908
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 4: that I don't think has made the podcast. But I

909
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:40,880
Speaker 4: thought it was really beautiful and said that. When I

910
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 4: asked her, I was like, oh, well, you want a

911
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,440
Speaker 4: children now you don't have them, Like are you happy?

912
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:45,800
Speaker 2: Are you lonely?

913
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 4: She was like, I am so glad I don't have

914
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,680
Speaker 4: children because my career, what I'm doing with my life

915
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:54,319
Speaker 4: I have I can travel whenever I want, I have

916
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 4: full autonomy over my life. I have family that has children.

917
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:01,200
Speaker 4: I get to spend time with them. And I'm so

918
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:04,320
Speaker 4: happy and I'm so glad that, you know, my life

919
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:06,480
Speaker 4: led down this path. And I thought it was it

920
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:08,880
Speaker 4: was so empowering and incredible to hear from a woman

921
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:11,560
Speaker 4: who was in because I think it's amazing more people

922
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 4: are talking about it now that are maybe in their

923
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:16,040
Speaker 4: thirties that are deciding to be child free. But then

924
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:18,600
Speaker 4: it's like we don't have that role modeling of what

925
00:41:18,719 --> 00:41:19,560
Speaker 4: it's like.

926
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 5: I don't know and feel like it's because it's always.

927
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 3: The drunk rich yes that comes in from Milana is

928
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 3: like a yeah.

929
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:33,520
Speaker 2: That's it's not role model to us. It's not in

930
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,520
Speaker 2: movies and it's not glorified.

931
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:40,040
Speaker 5: Yeah exactly, it's like comedy in a job.

932
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 2: It's not, but it's not.

933
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 4: And so to have this woman that works with people

934
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:45,880
Speaker 4: every day and if they want to have kids or not,

935
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:48,520
Speaker 4: and she wanted to have kids and then hasn't and

936
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:50,520
Speaker 4: for her to say, like, I am so glad that

937
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 4: I didn't have kids, but I'm sure if she had it,

938
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:56,640
Speaker 4: she would have loved her life. Like your life is

939
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:59,360
Speaker 4: not successful based on that. It's like you get to

940
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 4: decide what's successful and whatever happens, like it's your again.

941
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 4: It's like that mindset element, like you can find love

942
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,279
Speaker 4: and enjoy in connection within it. It's up to you.

943
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 3: I love that. Yeah, you posted a snippet from your

944
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 3: notes up that really hit home for us, and.

945
00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 5: This is what I read.

946
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 3: What if we didn't think of life as a race,

947
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:21,680
Speaker 3: we deprive ourselves of the magic of the journey because

948
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:24,560
Speaker 3: we are so focused on the end goal. What does

949
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 3: this mean and how does it encourage us to prioritize

950
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 3: joy in our life.

951
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:30,320
Speaker 2: Oh thanks for reminding me about that.

952
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:33,240
Speaker 5: It's great. I was like, I'm fine.

953
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:38,480
Speaker 3: A screenshot that made it my wa.

954
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 4: Do you know why because I think for me what

955
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,279
Speaker 4: that means is if you think in your life of

956
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 4: kind of the things that you're working towards, like the

957
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:47,919
Speaker 4: you know, maybe your goals or the milestones, the things

958
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 4: that we're told should bring us happiness.

959
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:51,360
Speaker 2: Maybe we'll list some.

960
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 4: Okay, so, getting a promotion, getting married, and this is

961
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 4: I don't want anyone to think that. I believe this

962
00:42:57,200 --> 00:43:00,440
Speaker 4: is what society makes us, getting married, having a child,

963
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 4: owning a home birthday, like milestone birthday parties.

964
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 2: I honestly am struggling.

965
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 4: To think of more than ten things that we are

966
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:14,760
Speaker 4: told in our lives that will bring us happiness. Outside

967
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:16,400
Speaker 4: of that, if you think of okay, so they just

968
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 4: say this, If you can really think there's ten things

969
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 4: in our lives that are meant to bring us happiness,

970
00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:23,320
Speaker 4: how much joy can you really get from those things?

971
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 2: How long is our life?

972
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 4: And imagine if the only time that we found joy

973
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 4: in our lives, I've got to experience joy and gratitude

974
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:35,640
Speaker 4: and feeling happy was in those moments, Like how.

975
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 5: Sad is that we're limiting our own happiness.

976
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:40,959
Speaker 4: And we're limiting to it, limiting it to like because

977
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 4: if we live to say, we're all going to live

978
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:42,560
Speaker 4: to one hundred.

979
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:47,000
Speaker 2: Here we're going to one hundred. Yeah, And there's actual

980
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 2: there's studies on that.

981
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:50,680
Speaker 4: I can't remember what it's called, but basically, when those

982
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 4: big moments happen, the joy so you might win. It's

983
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:55,840
Speaker 4: like they've done studies on people that have won the lottery.

984
00:43:56,120 --> 00:43:58,920
Speaker 4: The joy lasts about twenty four to forty eight hours

985
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 4: and then you go back to your baseline.

986
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 2: So what get of these ten events?

987
00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:07,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's yeah. And if you actually next time you

988
00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:10,360
Speaker 4: have a really joyous the thing that society tells you

989
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 4: should be joyous in your life, think about afterwards, like

990
00:44:13,719 --> 00:44:17,160
Speaker 4: reflect on how long did that super high feeling last?

991
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:20,440
Speaker 4: Doesn't last that long. It's also, we can't live our

992
00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 4: lives in this high like I've just won.

993
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:24,560
Speaker 2: I mean, god, imagine we all want lottery.

994
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 4: Amazing, you can't, like you think of like big events

995
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:29,480
Speaker 4: like I think of like at my wedding, for example,

996
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 4: and that was like an amazing everyone says, you know,

997
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:32,320
Speaker 4: it's the best day of your life. And it was

998
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 4: an amazing, amazing day, one of the best days of

999
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:38,240
Speaker 4: my life for sure. But that day is only whatever

1000
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 4: eight hours, and then it's actually like then you have

1001
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:42,080
Speaker 4: this come down.

1002
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:42,800
Speaker 5: Like your birthday.

1003
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 1: I was going to say, it's like when you're about

1004
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:47,440
Speaker 1: to go to sleep on your birthday, and I always

1005
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 1: feel a little bit like sad, ye sick, Like it's gone, Yeah,

1006
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:55,160
Speaker 1: all Christmas, it's the same thing.

1007
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:57,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, You're like, oh, that was such a high and

1008
00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:58,959
Speaker 3: then you're like, oh, it's done.

1009
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 4: M And if we live just for those highs, then

1010
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 4: the calmdowns are really fucking hard because if you let

1011
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:06,880
Speaker 4: yourself go up and down. And I find that sometimes

1012
00:45:07,239 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 4: with work, like even through the mini series, I literally

1013
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 4: re recorded like ten things like so many and Lindsay

1014
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:15,080
Speaker 4: was like, Laura, I think this is this is fine,

1015
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 4: Like Nope, I spoke way too so in that part

1016
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:18,840
Speaker 4: of to read it, And I think there was a

1017
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 4: part of me that was just trying to hang on

1018
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:22,880
Speaker 4: to this piece of work that I found so fulfilling.

1019
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 4: And now I'm kind of like, oh, what I'm like

1020
00:45:25,239 --> 00:45:26,960
Speaker 4: on my weekends, Like what am I going to do

1021
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 4: to like fill that hole? Yeah, because it was such

1022
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,200
Speaker 4: a high for me. But that's why it's so important

1023
00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:34,279
Speaker 4: to kind of balance that and make sure we have

1024
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 4: in the day to day moments of joy and we

1025
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 4: focus on gratitude outside of these huge milestones, because if

1026
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:43,160
Speaker 4: there's only ten or whatever, maybe there's more twenty in

1027
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 4: our lives and they last for twenty more to forty

1028
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:47,719
Speaker 4: eight hours, Like how many days do we live where

1029
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:50,480
Speaker 4: that's not it's like point probably point zero zero zero

1030
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:52,960
Speaker 4: at one percent of our life. And so it's about

1031
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 4: it's not just sali like enjoying the more like the

1032
00:45:56,719 --> 00:45:59,359
Speaker 4: Christmas day or the birthday or whatever the promotion date.

1033
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:02,520
Speaker 4: It's like all of the work you're doing to get there,

1034
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 4: Like that's actually what life is. That's what makes up

1035
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 4: ninety nine percent of life.

1036
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:09,240
Speaker 2: So we can choose. Everyone has a choice.

1037
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:12,320
Speaker 4: You can only find joy and happiness in those moments,

1038
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 4: or you can choose to find them in the time

1039
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:14,880
Speaker 4: in between.

1040
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:17,280
Speaker 5: We've got to find the joy in the in between.

1041
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:19,640
Speaker 4: Days, and the in between is our life. Yeah, life

1042
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:21,799
Speaker 4: is not Christmas.

1043
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:24,279
Speaker 3: And birth all birth and weddings and yeah, like they're

1044
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:25,040
Speaker 3: the special.

1045
00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 5: I'm going to cry again.

1046
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:31,480
Speaker 3: I love that that's honestly, speaking to you is just

1047
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 3: like a hug for the soul.

1048
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:35,520
Speaker 5: It's just pleasure.

1049
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:39,400
Speaker 3: And I think, especially going into winter, I think we

1050
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:41,520
Speaker 3: do all hit like a little bit of a slump,

1051
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:43,680
Speaker 3: and I think we all do kind of feel like

1052
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 3: we enter a bit of a rut. And I think

1053
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:47,439
Speaker 3: people are really going to find a lot of help

1054
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 3: in this episode. So thank you so so much for

1055
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:53,920
Speaker 3: chatting to us, and also for that mini series like

1056
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:55,920
Speaker 3: I just I know that you just said that you

1057
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 3: know you didn't want to let go of it, but

1058
00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:00,320
Speaker 3: that series like lives forever now and it's going to

1059
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:04,680
Speaker 3: help so many people that feel exactly the way that

1060
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:07,839
Speaker 3: you both do as well. And I just think, Yeah,

1061
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:10,560
Speaker 3: you're incredible and I love you.

1062
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 1: And we like to finish our episodes with our guests

1063
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:20,239
Speaker 1: with one final big question, and that is what's your

1064
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:21,960
Speaker 1: biggest life lesson so far?

1065
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:25,160
Speaker 2: Biggest life lesson so far?

1066
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:27,600
Speaker 4: I think it's I mean, it very much comes into

1067
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 4: the theme of and so far in this you know,

1068
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:32,239
Speaker 4: the season that I'm in right now. For me, it's

1069
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:37,239
Speaker 4: that no one knows what you want except you, and

1070
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:40,840
Speaker 4: if you live your entire life waiting for people to

1071
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:45,680
Speaker 4: do like guide you to the path of what. So

1072
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:47,320
Speaker 4: you might be in a job right now, whatever it

1073
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:48,839
Speaker 4: might be, and you are not happy and you don't

1074
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:51,720
Speaker 4: want to be there, you can choose to spend another

1075
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:54,640
Speaker 4: ten years in that job because no one can go inside,

1076
00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:56,719
Speaker 4: and no one we think. I think we think that

1077
00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 4: like it'll work out, and I think that's really nice

1078
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:01,080
Speaker 4: way to think. But I think if you don't say

1079
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 4: out loud what you want, you will never get it

1080
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:07,040
Speaker 4: because no one will ever know, and there is nothing

1081
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:10,399
Speaker 4: wrong with saying what you want, and you will never

1082
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:11,520
Speaker 4: make a change in your life.

1083
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,480
Speaker 2: You will never you never live your life for.

1084
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:17,040
Speaker 4: You because you're kind of just appeasing to how what

1085
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:20,680
Speaker 4: you think everything everyone else wants you to be. And

1086
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 4: so that's actually been my biggest lesson is that you

1087
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:26,360
Speaker 4: because so often I've sat in rooms and I've been like, oh,

1088
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:28,440
Speaker 4: I would have loved to have got that opportunity, or

1089
00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:31,080
Speaker 4: fuck I wish I could do and then I'm like,

1090
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:34,959
Speaker 4: then I think back, like again, retrospectively, but I could

1091
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 4: have done that. But the only reason I didn't is

1092
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,919
Speaker 4: because I never told anyone I wanted to. I never

1093
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:42,520
Speaker 4: put myself out there. And if we don't put it.

1094
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:45,160
Speaker 4: And it might be with friendships, you know, it's honestly,

1095
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:48,160
Speaker 4: with everything in life, you do not put yourself out there.

1096
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 4: It's even like within within your career if you tell

1097
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:55,080
Speaker 4: your and I've worked Kick, like the people that say like, hey,

1098
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:56,719
Speaker 4: this is where I want to get to I now

1099
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 4: know that. I'm like, wow, they're driven, they want to

1100
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:00,359
Speaker 4: get to hear in the business. They want to stay

1101
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 4: with us for a long time and contribute this and

1102
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:04,279
Speaker 4: grow here. And I'm like, fuck, I want to help

1103
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:07,080
Speaker 4: them get there, right, But if you never say it,

1104
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:09,200
Speaker 4: you never know. Yeah, And so I think that's something

1105
00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:11,600
Speaker 4: that's been very powerful, and honestly, I've only learned that

1106
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:12,680
Speaker 4: this year. I love.

1107
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:15,400
Speaker 3: That's great, A great piece of advice. Not a perfect

1108
00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:16,719
Speaker 3: place to end on, I think.

1109
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:20,560
Speaker 1: Absolutely For anybody who doesn't follow you, where can the

1110
00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:21,319
Speaker 1: chicks find you?

1111
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 4: They can find me on well, actually Instagram and TikTok.

1112
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:26,560
Speaker 4: I'm not very good at TikTok. Yes, you can find

1113
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:28,759
Speaker 4: me on Instagram and then you can find if you

1114
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 4: want to try Kick, you just search.

1115
00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:32,799
Speaker 5: Kick and you have some exciting for our listeners for

1116
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:33,640
Speaker 5: Kick too.

1117
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 4: We do so we have so as you said before

1118
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:39,040
Speaker 4: the middle of the year for everyone listening that's in

1119
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:44,200
Speaker 4: Australia is like it's the days short. Yeah, the motivation

1120
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:47,319
Speaker 4: is that the all the year season. It is so

1121
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:49,720
Speaker 4: easy to be like I just it's cold, it's whatever

1122
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:52,400
Speaker 4: you know, we think, but exercise actually, as we know,

1123
00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 4: makes us feel like so much better and it's not

1124
00:49:56,719 --> 00:49:58,719
Speaker 4: about like the way that we look or anything like that.

1125
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:00,399
Speaker 4: It's just like moving so I might and to feel

1126
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:02,120
Speaker 4: good and we're feel in control of our day and

1127
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:03,759
Speaker 4: we just we've done something for ourselves.

1128
00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:05,279
Speaker 2: And so we're doing a challenge.

1129
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:08,120
Speaker 4: It's literally called mid like you're feeling a bit mid, Yeah,

1130
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:12,480
Speaker 4: I love them you challenge and we have up to

1131
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 4: forty percent off just for when this comes out.

1132
00:50:15,560 --> 00:50:17,239
Speaker 2: I think there'll be one week left of it.

1133
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:18,680
Speaker 4: So if you want to join the challenge and just

1134
00:50:18,719 --> 00:50:21,359
Speaker 4: it's not it's like one of them's two workouts a week,

1135
00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:23,560
Speaker 4: the other one's three and then like a mindfulness practice

1136
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:26,959
Speaker 4: so it's accessible. They're not super long workouts because again,

1137
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:28,520
Speaker 4: if you're feeling mid, you're not going to want to

1138
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:31,680
Speaker 4: do a thirty minute workout. Just to do something together

1139
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:33,720
Speaker 4: and like have the motivation together with the community.

1140
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:34,520
Speaker 2: So yeah, if you want to join.

1141
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:36,240
Speaker 3: It's we've got up to forty percent off now amazing

1142
00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:39,320
Speaker 3: and they're really biginner friendly, so yeah, definitely perfect.

1143
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:40,920
Speaker 1: We'll put a link in the show notes because we

1144
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 1: know all the chicks will want to sign up. We

1145
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:47,200
Speaker 1: can all do it together, yes, groupaying yeah, well, thank

1146
00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:49,960
Speaker 1: you so much for coming on again. I don't know

1147
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:52,520
Speaker 1: if you could tell that we love you.

1148
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,880
Speaker 2: And now are we friends? Now you get a choice?

1149
00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:57,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1150
00:50:57,200 --> 00:50:58,839
Speaker 2: Sorry, if you're like, what are you talking about?

1151
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:01,239
Speaker 4: You have to listen to your Yeah. Yeah, it's so

1152
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 4: good coming out soon in the kick pop and no,

1153
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:05,120
Speaker 4: thank you, I really it's been it's been a pleasure.

1154
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:07,560
Speaker 1: Thanks, it's been amazing. And thanks to your chicks for

1155
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:10,279
Speaker 1: having us in your ear hauls. We love to be here.

1156
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:12,600
Speaker 1: And thank you to listener and am I k Made

1157
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:15,120
Speaker 1: for making today's episode happen. Love y'all, I Chicks, I

1158
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:21,479
Speaker 1: Kicks