Speaker 1: Appogia Production.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashley Bynes.
Speaker 2: This is a podcast where we learn.
Speaker 1: Laugh, and level up together.
Speaker 2: Let's go deep, let the emotions flow, find the lessons
Speaker 2: to grow and glow. Nothing is off the table with
Speaker 2: Grow and Glow, and I'm here to be your expander.
Speaker 2: Hello everybody, welcome back to Grow and Glow. It's Ashley,
Speaker 2: your hosts, and I've also got Katie, my producer here.
Speaker 2: And things may feel a little bit different and a
Speaker 2: little bit quiet as we no longer have Kiara. So firstly,
Speaker 2: if you missed last week's episode, I please recommend for
Speaker 2: you to go and listen to that. Is that as
Speaker 2: Kiara talking about her decision to leave the podcast.
Speaker 1: To be honest, I.
Speaker 2: Really didn't want to do an episode where I even
Speaker 2: spoke about this. I really wanted to keep everything behind
Speaker 2: closed doors. But with everything being posted online at the moment,
Speaker 2: I do feel like I need to speak up and
Speaker 2: just clarify a few things. And I also want to
Speaker 2: say I really do understand the curiosity and the questions
Speaker 2: about the situation because I know that you guys are
Speaker 2: so invested in the podcast and our friendship and We've
Speaker 2: openly shared so much of our lives over the last
Speaker 2: two years, and I do appreciate each and every one
Speaker 2: of you so so much. So I do get it
Speaker 2: be online world. It is such an incredible place to
Speaker 2: grow and to learn and to share. But there's also
Speaker 2: a really dark side of it that can really impact us.
Speaker 2: And with both of us being mothers, when our mental
Speaker 2: health is affected, it not only affects ourselves but our
Speaker 2: children as well. I know I can only speak on
Speaker 2: behalf of myself, but my oldest is at an age
Speaker 2: where he can see and feel when mummy is not okay,
Speaker 2: and that's been me the last week. Sharing your life
Speaker 2: online it can honestly be really really tricky when you're
Speaker 2: navigating something like a friendship breakdown or a relationship breakup,
Speaker 2: or maybe you're just going through something that's really uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: I want all of you listening to think about a
Speaker 2: time where you've gone through something really, really hard and
Speaker 2: how hard it is to navigate that on your own.
Speaker 2: And now think about how hard that'd be if you
Speaker 2: had tens of thousands of people speculating, assuming, judging, criticizing,
Speaker 2: and making up their own narrative.
Speaker 1: What's actually going on.
Speaker 2: So Firstly, from what's being post online, it's very obvious
Speaker 2: that we have had our friendship breakdown. I wanted to
Speaker 2: keep this offline to protect both of our mental health.
Speaker 2: I didn't feel the need to get anyone involved or
Speaker 2: make it harder than what it already was. Secondly, this
Speaker 2: was only a very very recent thing. Our breakdown was
Speaker 2: not because Kiara wanted to leave Grow and Glow. I
Speaker 2: think it was about five or six weeks ago when
Speaker 2: she first came to us.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's really important to say that. Obviously
Speaker 3: you never wanted to have to do this episode and
Speaker 3: go into more detail, but it is because what is
Speaker 3: being said isn't the truth. Yeah, Kiara came to us,
Speaker 3: both you and me separately, and said that she wanted
Speaker 3: to leave Grow and Glow and the reasons for it,
Speaker 3: which obviously are personal to her. But there was no
Speaker 3: angst whatsoever. It was so amicable. We were very accommodating.
Speaker 3: We worked together and let her. You know, we didn't
Speaker 3: tie her down to doing any more episodes. We were
Speaker 3: very flexible. It was whatever she needed. We actually did
Speaker 3: give a few suggestions very early on, like how can
Speaker 3: we make this easier for you. How can we make
Speaker 3: this less work? Could you take a microphone home? You know,
Speaker 3: there were lots of things like we really tried to
Speaker 3: keep Kiara, and we really wanted to keep her. That
Speaker 3: was definitely our preference. Then moving on with Grow and Glow,
Speaker 3: which is something you didn't even think you were going
Speaker 3: to be able to do. I remember you facetimed me
Speaker 3: and you were in floods of tears.
Speaker 1: I was on the floor so upsets, upset.
Speaker 3: So upset that Kiara was leaving because you love Kiara
Speaker 3: and you couldn't see a future of the podcast without Kiara.
Speaker 3: And it wasn't until some later conversations where we were like, well,
Speaker 3: maybe you know you love Grow and Glow, you love
Speaker 3: doing the podcast. Could you potentially do it by yourself
Speaker 3: or do it with somebody else, And eventually came to
Speaker 3: a decision, which obviously we're excited about bittersweet because our
Speaker 3: preference always was to keep Kiara. It had Kiara's full
Speaker 3: blessing and so yeah, I think it's really important for
Speaker 3: people to know that part of it. And as you said,
Speaker 3: the friendship breakdown was actually nothing to do with Kiara
Speaker 3: leaving Grown Glow.
Speaker 1: In the first place.
Speaker 3: It was all very friendly and it was all very positive,
Speaker 3: and I remember having a conversation with Kiara where I said,
Speaker 3: the door is always.
Speaker 2: Open for yeah percent. When she first came to me,
Speaker 2: I was in full support of her decision. When one
Speaker 2: of your friends comes to you and said I need
Speaker 2: to create more space for myself and for my family,
Speaker 2: there is nothing else to do but support them. And
Speaker 2: even on that phone call, I remember like feeling myself
Speaker 2: tea up. She had said I feel guilty, and I
Speaker 2: was like, oh my gosh, you don't have anything to
Speaker 2: feel guilty about. But it was actually in that same
Speaker 2: phone call that she was on suggesting me to get
Speaker 2: a new co host, because I remember saying to her
Speaker 2: there is no Grow and Glow without you, and she
Speaker 2: was like, you have to keep going. You know you've
Speaker 2: closed down baseline. I know this is your passion. You
Speaker 2: can get a new co host, whatever you want to do.
Speaker 2: I'm in full support. I just wanted to clarify that, like,
Speaker 2: I was in full support of her decision, and she
Speaker 2: was in full support of us continuing to do Grow
Speaker 2: and Glow, which was beautiful.
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely been some comments and stuff online around Kiara
Speaker 3: being replaced or perhaps pushed out, There is no truth
Speaker 3: in that.
Speaker 2: Gosh soever, I'd have done anything to have her stay.
Speaker 2: I've absolutely, like hand in my heart, loved this whole journey.
Speaker 2: And yeah, I was devastated, Like I rang you crying
Speaker 2: so hard.
Speaker 1: I was really really upset.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think for us as well, like it's
Speaker 3: kind of been more than just doing your podcast, Like
Speaker 3: it's more than just a business relationship. Like I feel
Speaker 3: like there's been a real friendship. And you know, we
Speaker 3: went to Eten together and you know, all got on
Speaker 3: so so well. So have so much love for Kiara,
Speaker 3: and yeah, once again we wanted to have to stay.
Speaker 2: M h. Yeah, and even after she left, like our
Speaker 2: friendship was still beautiful and supportive and full of love. Later,
Speaker 2: did our photoshoot for our next product, and I remember
Speaker 2: after we were sitting in the car editing the videos,
Speaker 2: It's pouring down rain and she started to cry and
Speaker 2: I started to cry because we're just talking about the
Speaker 2: memories and how much love we have for each other
Speaker 2: and how awesome this journey's been and how much we're
Speaker 2: actually going to miss it. And this wasn't a decision
Speaker 2: that she felt like she wanted to meet, but she
Speaker 2: had to make for her family, which you know, I've
Speaker 2: been through a lot of health stuff this year as well.
Speaker 2: Your health and your family are always going to be
Speaker 2: the most important thing. She has made the right decision,
Speaker 2: you know, and once again we're in full support of that.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And I even had a conversation with Kiara last
Speaker 3: week where I said, have you made the right decision?
Speaker 1: Are usual?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And she said yeah, absolutely, and I was like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: so yeah.
Speaker 2: Just to clarify, our friendship breakdown was not because Kiara
Speaker 2: decided to leave. It was more so towards the end,
Speaker 2: only very recently. This is why it's still so raw
Speaker 2: and really hard to talk about. Was us not being
Speaker 2: able to see eyed at eye with the exit of
Speaker 2: the podcast.
Speaker 3: I think one of the important things to mention as
Speaker 3: well is that this wasn't just a podcast for you.
Speaker 1: Like one of the things.
Speaker 3: That you were really upset about with Kiara leaving was
Speaker 3: the fact that you got to take two days every
Speaker 3: month to come up to Brisbane, drive up together, chat
Speaker 3: about the you know idears for the episodes, stay in
Speaker 3: a hotel, go to.
Speaker 1: Dinner, have our launches.
Speaker 3: Yeah, which I mean in hindsight, you could have got
Speaker 3: it all done in the day, But I know you
Speaker 3: guys love that time, Like, yeah, I know that for
Speaker 3: you was definitely one of the things that you were
Speaker 3: really upset about.
Speaker 2: Podcast aside, and we've spoken about it before, like we
Speaker 2: really don't see each other outside the podcast. She lives
Speaker 2: about forty minutes down south for me, and with both
Speaker 2: of us running businesses and having multiple children, like, we
Speaker 2: just don't get a lot of time. So that was
Speaker 2: the one special time each month. It was honestly like
Speaker 2: the highlight of my month. Yeah, I loved it so much.
Speaker 2: So at the end of the day, this podcast is
Speaker 2: called Grow and Glow. This isn't even the episode I
Speaker 2: wanted to do, but this this podcast is about growing
Speaker 2: through your hard times, are sharing our lessons and glowing
Speaker 2: out the other side. I want this podcast to be
Speaker 2: one that you come to to always feel empowered to
Speaker 2: live a more authentic life and to raise your baseline
Speaker 2: and to level up and to meet yourself where you
Speaker 2: are at right now and honor what you need in
Speaker 2: every single season. So that's what I want to focus
Speaker 2: on now and moving forward. Something else that I wanted
Speaker 2: to quickly share a little bit about is what true
Speaker 2: self care and self love is about. Because I think
Speaker 2: it's thrown around on social media that it's like you're
Speaker 2: going to get a pedicure or you chuck a face
Speaker 2: mask on, But it's actually so much more than that,
Speaker 2: And for me, I want to talk about that today
Speaker 2: and end this on a beautiful note and reminder of
Speaker 2: what that looks like. For me, self care and true
Speaker 2: self love is taking care of what's actually on the inside,
Speaker 2: and that's through nourishing our bodies with healthy food, saying
Speaker 2: hydra to getting our sleep, giving our stress.
Speaker 1: Love was low.
Speaker 2: It's about being in nature. It's about finding things and
Speaker 2: people that bring you a lot of joy in life.
Speaker 2: The one thing that people don't talk about is actually forgiveness.
Speaker 2: When you can forgive yourself and others for things people
Speaker 2: have said or done, you open up your heart just
Speaker 2: so much more love and emotional peace, And if you don't,
Speaker 2: it's toxic inside and it's not the vibration energetically that
Speaker 2: any of us want to be sitting on. So, if
Speaker 2: there's anyone in your life or anything you're going through,
Speaker 2: if you can try and find it in your heart
Speaker 2: to have a deeper sense of like compassion for where
Speaker 2: you're at yourself and where other people are at. The
Speaker 2: only thing in life we are guaranteed is change, So
Speaker 2: the only thing that we know is going to happen.
Speaker 2: And this is the hardest part of life is relationship breakdowns,
Speaker 2: whether that's intimate, family or friendship. And we will go
Speaker 2: through it, like every single person goes through this, and
Speaker 2: it's grieving. I've got a girlfriend at the moment going
Speaker 2: through a bad breakup and said, it's almost like grieving
Speaker 2: a death because that person's still there, but you don't
Speaker 2: have access to them anymore. A person you've told everything too,
Speaker 2: and you've gone to and they've held space for you
Speaker 2: and you've done vice versa, and all of a sudden gone.
Speaker 2: It is a form of grief and it's so heavy
Speaker 2: on the heart. You wake up, I know myself, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, is that a nightmare? Shit, No, that's
Speaker 2: actually happening, And you get this sick feeling in your
Speaker 2: stomach and it's quite consuming. Like even over the weekend,
Speaker 2: my kids were sick and it was just a slow
Speaker 2: weekend anyway, but it's just all I could think about.
Speaker 2: My heart is just hurting so yeah, not an episode
Speaker 2: I wanted to do, but I did feel like it
Speaker 2: was It's necessary. I have so much gratitude I journey
Speaker 2: the podcast our memories and I will always hold that
Speaker 2: in my heart.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and as I said before, the door is always
Speaker 3: always open.
Speaker 1: What can you tell us about the new podcast.
Speaker 2: We have a whole new name, we have a whole
Speaker 2: new look, we'll have new outfits, new forms which are
Speaker 2: very different to this one, and we have a beautiful
Speaker 2: new co host. I honestly thought I might come on
Speaker 2: and do it by myself, but when Kiara said that
Speaker 2: I can get someone else, there was only two people
Speaker 2: in mind, and one of them is the same person
Speaker 2: that I was thinking when I first wanted to do
Speaker 2: a podcast, it was Megsie, and back then she didn't
Speaker 2: have the capacity to do it, and obviously I went
Speaker 2: with Kiara, and this time it was between two people
Speaker 2: as well, Megsi being one of them, and once again
Speaker 2: she doesn't have the capacity for it. And there was
Speaker 2: only one other person that really stood out for me.
Speaker 2: And it's not like I had a list of one
Speaker 2: hundred people to choose from. A podcast is something very
Speaker 2: intimate and special. It's not something you would just get
Speaker 2: anyone and everyone on to do with. So it wasn't
Speaker 2: a hard decision in that sense.
Speaker 3: And I remember you saying when we were like you
Speaker 3: could have Lily did the podcast on your own, and
Speaker 3: you were like, it's gonna be really boring, be fun
Speaker 3: me coming in and laughing by myself. Yeah, And what
Speaker 3: can people expect from the episodes?
Speaker 1: Will it be similar content?
Speaker 2: Yes, in the sense that we still want you to
Speaker 2: feel very comfortable, like it's you know, two best girlfriends
Speaker 2: sitting on the couch sharing. This person has a lot
Speaker 2: of depth, Like I have grown so much since she's
Speaker 2: become my friend. I've healed things that I've been wanting
Speaker 2: to heal my whole life just via conversations with her.
Speaker 2: So I feel like you're going to literally learn and
Speaker 2: grow so much just from having her in your ears.
Speaker 2: But she's also very playful, fun, She's like spicy and
Speaker 2: central as well. She's a very multifaceted woman. Like it's
Speaker 2: not like a one size kind of fits all. So
Speaker 2: you have a lot of fun, you'll learn a lot,
Speaker 2: you'll grow a lot, you might be shocked a lot.
Speaker 2: She's got a lot of really cool, crazy stories to
Speaker 2: share as to who she is and why she is
Speaker 2: the way she is. But yeah, I'm very excited to
Speaker 2: announce her. I'm very excited to have more conversations with her,
Speaker 2: and I think you're all going to fall.
Speaker 1: In love with there.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's really exciting. It's been such a bittersweet process.
Speaker 2: Like I always say, two emotions can coexist. I feel
Speaker 2: like I'm grieving what was in this friendship and you
Speaker 2: know what, I've really enjoyed every moment, and I'm also
Speaker 2: really excited for what's to come.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'm like experiencing both at the moment.
Speaker 2: But I just think each and every day we have
Speaker 2: the choice where we direct our energy and focus, and
Speaker 2: I'm choosing to direct it into what's to come and
Speaker 2: get excited and stay in gratitude. And also just a
Speaker 2: massive shout out to all of you, like, thank you
Speaker 2: so much. We obviously hit over a million downloads in
Speaker 2: a space of not even two years. It really means
Speaker 2: the world to ask at you tune in each week
Speaker 2: and support us, and you know the dms. I still
Speaker 2: get on the daily of just how one thing we've said,
Speaker 2: one thing my mom said, or one thing ki Areas
Speaker 2: that once said you know something that we've discussed has
Speaker 2: truly helped transform or impact your life in a positive way.
Speaker 1: It's really special to be a part of your journey,
Speaker 1: even if it's small.
Speaker 3: And if anyone has any questions as well, like head
Speaker 3: to the Facebook forum and your thoughts. We did have
Speaker 3: a lot of people in there. I had a look
Speaker 3: through there as well at what people were asking and
Speaker 3: I hope today that we have answered some of those questions.
Speaker 2: Hopefully it's given a bit more clarity and also just
Speaker 2: understanding and reminded know that we're two humans, and humans
Speaker 2: are messy. Life is messy, and these things happen, but
Speaker 2: you always have a choice to choose kindness. So I
Speaker 2: would do us that you do that for both of us.
Speaker 2: All right, guys, well, we will be back in your
Speaker 2: ears next week. Yees see them Bye.