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Speaker 1: I get atam. It's a bloody you project. What else

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Speaker 1: would it be? Who else would it be? It's me,

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Speaker 1: Craig Anthony Harper. I hope this finds you great. I'm

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Speaker 1: super excited today. And I say things like that often,

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Speaker 1: but I do get excited easily. But I am genuinely

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Speaker 1: excited today because a friend of mine who I have

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Speaker 1: not seen for a long time. So when I say friend,

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Speaker 1: I'm definitely the shit friend of the relationship. She's the

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Speaker 1: great friend in the relationship. I've been somewhat negligent. I

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Speaker 1: own that. I own my negligence. I'm going to do better.

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Speaker 1: We used to work together, we worked in radio together.

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Speaker 1: We've been friends for probably over twenty years. And to

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Speaker 1: say through to say that Jane O'Brien has been through

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Speaker 1: something of a challenging decade or two is like saying

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Speaker 1: the Melbourne weather can be a little bit fickle. Jane

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Speaker 1: has been all over the place medically and emotionally and practically,

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Speaker 1: and she's here and she's a winner, and she's one

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Speaker 1: of my favorite people, and she's an inspiration. And she'll

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Speaker 1: hate all of that because she's very self deprecating and evasive.

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Speaker 1: And also I will say up front because of what

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Speaker 1: she's been through medically, her voice is not as loud

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Speaker 1: and annoying as my voice, So you might have to

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Speaker 1: lean into the speakers a little bit because she's had

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Speaker 1: she had a few things done to that throat area

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Speaker 1: that have probably impacted the old vocals.

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Speaker 2: Hi, Janie Pleasure, it is to see you once again.

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Speaker 1: Are you all right? How are you?

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Speaker 2: I'm well, we're gone soaring.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry it's been a while. How long? Now, let's

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Speaker 1: just backtrack a little bit. You and I worked on

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Speaker 1: Melbourne's Positive alternative eighty nine point nine Light FM one

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Speaker 1: hundred and two years ago. We did a show on

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Speaker 1: Saturdays called the Grand Standards. Because you are an exercise

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Speaker 1: physiologist and I inhabit the exercise space and fitness space

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Speaker 1: a little bit myself and sporting space or I did. Firstly,

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Speaker 1: how long did we do that show? And what are

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Speaker 1: some memories that you have of that show?

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Speaker 2: Our show lasted I think about eight years, which I

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Speaker 2: think is quite a long time in radio, wasn't it

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Speaker 2: was once a week every Saturday? Oh memories? Look, I

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Speaker 2: could say there's just this, There's so many I think

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Speaker 2: with working with you, never a dull moment that wouldn't

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Speaker 2: surprise people, would.

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Speaker 1: It at all?

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Speaker 2: I never quite knew where you were going to go.

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Speaker 2: It was freeze goal all the way. And look, I

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Speaker 2: always liked to be a structure, so that challenged me

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Speaker 2: a bit of the start. I think I got a

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Speaker 2: few extra stress lines initially. Eh, but no, look it's correct.

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Speaker 2: It's the old times for the Arps. In fact, one

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Speaker 2: of my goals was, obviously I've been through quite a

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Speaker 2: bit of a journey, but I did brain of the

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Speaker 2: day of sitting in a studio with you again. Now

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Speaker 2: obviously where corresponds today, But I tell you what, it

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Speaker 2: builds like home. It biels like coming home.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's nice, Janny. I truly my favorite time

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Speaker 1: in radio was with you. I mean that truly, and

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Speaker 1: I did quite a bit of radio over the years,

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Speaker 1: and the most fun I had and the best connection

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Speaker 1: I ever made in radio was with you. And we

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Speaker 1: knew each other before, but we really became very good friends.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, it was I do remember. I do remember

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Speaker 1: the early not even just the early days, like the

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Speaker 1: whole time. Because Jane, everyone is very crossthet dot the

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Speaker 1: I very organized, very prepared. She's the opposite of me.

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Speaker 1: She's the person that you if you need someone responsible,

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Speaker 1: she's the one. She's the one you don't want me. Ah,

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Speaker 1: you maybe want me out the front doing the car

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Speaker 1: parking or something, just directing people, but running the show.

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Speaker 1: You want Jane inside the auditorium running the show. But

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Speaker 1: I do remember you. You did struggle a little bit

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Speaker 1: with my lack of preparation and my propensity to be

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Speaker 1: a little bit freestyle. Jane.

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Speaker 2: You weren't allowed us where on that radio station. And

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Speaker 2: I'm still a little bit concerned that you might slip

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Speaker 2: a few f bombs. I think you managed to to

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Speaker 2: control yourself over those years, inn't you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I might.

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Speaker 2: You might have been a bit controversial, maybe a couple

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Speaker 2: of times.

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Speaker 1: But well, it was a very great It was Australia's

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Speaker 1: largest Christian radio station still is, I think. And it was.

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Speaker 1: It was a a what are they called not commercial?

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Speaker 1: What do they call what's the other one where they're

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Speaker 1: not for profit? What's it called? Community radio station? But

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Speaker 1: not but not really, I mean community radio station. I

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Speaker 1: did work in in the early days. It was community.

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Speaker 1: It was like sitting in a cupboard with a ten

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Speaker 1: dollars microphone. I mean, but this was essentially set up

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Speaker 1: as a commercial, very big, fancy good but not for profit.

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Speaker 1: But it was very slick, but it was technically technically

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Speaker 1: a not for profit where there is no everything is

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Speaker 1: pretty scrutinized. Definitely no swearing. Of course. I am surprised

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Speaker 1: that I actually that they put up with me for

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Speaker 1: so long. I did get kicked off. I did get

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Speaker 1: kicked off eventually when I wrote, well, I can say it.

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Speaker 1: I wrote a book called Stop Fucking Around Everyone, which

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Speaker 1: you all know of, and then I tried to keep

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Speaker 1: it a sick I didn't keep it aside. I just

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Speaker 1: didn't talk about it obviously, and then the station got

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Speaker 1: I think, do you know this story. The station got

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Speaker 1: a letter or an email or a complaint or two

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Speaker 1: or three about the fact that they had this on

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Speaker 1: air person Craig Harper, who wrote this book with the

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Speaker 1: F word, and that was it. They had to which

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Speaker 1: I totally I knew as soon as that was made

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Speaker 1: a parent that that would be it. And that was it. Joaney.

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Speaker 2: Yes, well, look you got through it, and look at you.

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Speaker 2: You've just gone to from me and you just give

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Speaker 2: sword how and you've gone to New levels.

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Speaker 1: Well not really, but anyway, thank you so much. All right,

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Speaker 1: enough about all of my crap. Let's talk about you.

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Speaker 1: So I said to you before we went live, as

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Speaker 1: much or as little as you want to share. I

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Speaker 1: know you're an open book. Uh, so why don't you

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Speaker 1: can we just talk about I want to talk about

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Speaker 1: your medical journey, of course, but I want to talk

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Speaker 1: not just about you know, all all that stuff per se,

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Speaker 1: but all of the emotional and psychological and sociological and

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Speaker 1: practical stuff around it. So where do we start, Like,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to push you in a direction. Where

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Speaker 1: do you want to start us with your let's call

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Speaker 1: it your medical odyssey. When did you first figure out

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Speaker 1: something was wrong? How did that come about? What was it?

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Speaker 1: And then just go from there?

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Speaker 2: Okay, So I was in two thousand and nine. I

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Speaker 2: started to get symptoms, but at the time I thought

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Speaker 2: just maybe a roll or flu. But it just persisted

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Speaker 2: and so I started to investigate. It really took about

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Speaker 2: nine months. First of all, got a misdiagnosis. I was

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Speaker 2: told I had to potentially it was an up upper

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Speaker 2: respiratory issue, so I was waiting to see a specialist

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Speaker 2: for that, but it ended up. I was just getting

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Speaker 2: progressively worse. The date was just cropping constantly through the day,

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Speaker 2: lost of energy, lasted appetite, my weight was just dropping,

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Speaker 2: and so I kept going back to the doctor and

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Speaker 2: eventually well, eventually, after the initial misdiagnosis, I ended up

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Speaker 2: with a diagnosis of a lung disease called bronchiectesis. And

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Speaker 2: so if you go forward a couple of years from that,

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Speaker 2: I then got another diagnosis and onto that, which was

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Speaker 2: a clinical diagnosis of cystic fibrosis, which, as a lot

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Speaker 2: of people be aware, you normally diagnosed with cistic fibrosis

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Speaker 2: from Earth, so it's quite unusual to be diagnoses. So

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Speaker 2: I was thirty eighth at the time, and so I

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Speaker 2: just beah from there on in for the next number

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Speaker 2: of years, in and out of hospital. It literally it

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Speaker 2: gave as a shock to me because I lived a healthy,

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Speaker 2: active lifestyle at that time. I knew none of my

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Speaker 2: family history. I didn't know there was quite extensive lung

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Speaker 2: disease on both sides of the family. So in terms

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Speaker 2: of the genetic pool, I think I struck out a

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Speaker 2: bit there obviously a bit more of a chance of

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Speaker 2: getting something. But look, when I look back, I can

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Speaker 2: see that. But I look back my lifestyle at that time,

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Speaker 2: I was living a really hectic life. I was doing

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Speaker 2: multiple jobs and living life at a very fast pace.

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Speaker 2: I just I can look back and say that wasn't sustainable.

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Speaker 2: So as much as I might have had the genetics,

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Speaker 2: I think, yeah, I think my lifestyle impacted. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: So that's then fast forward to now I'm first almost

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Speaker 2: two years postlun transplant. So it's been quite a journey.

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Speaker 1: Right, let's jump back and forth. So could you just

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Speaker 1: tell us firstly, what is bronchi ecstasis.

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Speaker 2: Yep, So it's a degenerative condition of the airway, So

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Speaker 2: where you get the airways become damage because they become

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Speaker 2: inflamed and they enlarge, and just progressively over time as

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Speaker 2: you get more in fictions that the damage increases. So look,

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Speaker 2: I have to say, despite a really dire diagnosis, so

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Speaker 2: I was told the start, look it was a progressively

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Speaker 2: general disease, no cure, and you probably end up with

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Speaker 2: a lung transplant at some point. And look, being the optimist,

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Speaker 2: I am, well, look, that's a diagnosis. But the problem,

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Speaker 2: like I can still believe I can still do a

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Speaker 2: lot to impact my outcome. So I don't actually believed

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Speaker 2: it was possible to even heal. I even might I

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Speaker 2: had no evidence. Look for my studies around the world

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Speaker 2: of people you overcome this condition. I didn't find anybody,

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Speaker 2: but I still believed it was possible, and I held

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Speaker 2: on to that belief. I think when I look back now, yes,

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Speaker 2: I end up with a lung transplat. I don't see

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Speaker 2: that as a oh well I failed. I ended up

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Speaker 2: have your transplant. I really see. I can look back

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Speaker 2: now and say I got fifteen years out of ones

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Speaker 2: that were already significantly diseased when I was diagnosed, So

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Speaker 2: I only had moderate to s to be a disease

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Speaker 2: when I started. So the fact I was able to

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Speaker 2: keep myself going for fifteen years is well, I think

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Speaker 2: that's a really inclined itself. So I'm yeah, I think

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Speaker 2: I've actually can look back now and say I, actually

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Speaker 2: I did really well.

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Speaker 1: I remember. Yeah. Look, people say stuff like, oh, this

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Speaker 1: person's inspirational, that person's inspirational, you know, and I know

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Speaker 1: you don't like this, but I remember when you got

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Speaker 1: diagnosed and you and I were chatting, and I never

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Speaker 1: ever I couldn't believe how positive you were when it

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Speaker 1: was just you and me, right, And it's just you

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Speaker 1: and me in a room, music playing or whatever. Right,

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Speaker 1: we're off air, so no one's hearing it's you and

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Speaker 1: me in a studio. And there's lots of what people

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Speaker 1: don't maybe think about. There's lots of times where we're

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Speaker 1: not on air right because music's playing. So if we're

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Speaker 1: in there three or four hours or whatever, in there

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Speaker 1: for like, there's half that it's just us chatting. But

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Speaker 1: I and I've worked with lots of people like probably

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Speaker 1: you and John, you know John, my friend who got

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Speaker 1: blown up in the with the gas bottles, who I

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Speaker 1: just got off the phone. I just literally got off

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Speaker 1: the phone too. Can I pause what I was going

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Speaker 1: to say about you and tell you another quick story

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Speaker 1: because you'll find it interesting. So, and I apologize to everyone

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Speaker 1: who's heard it. But Johnny had this just horrendous injuries

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Speaker 1: like hisself. Like it's not that it's any kind of comparison,

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Speaker 1: but you know, spinal cord injury, traumatic brain injury. Was

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Speaker 1: meant to die. They gave him basically no chance of living.

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Speaker 1: And he's just had one thing after another and every

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Speaker 1: day like he comes and see me and the crab

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Speaker 1: at the gym three days a week. We train him,

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Speaker 1: we love him, we help him around. He walks with sticks,

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Speaker 1: not very well these days, but you know, he's in

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Speaker 1: his seventies and he just still trains, still lifts weights,

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Speaker 1: still shows up. And the other the other day he

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Speaker 1: had this pain. Poor bugger. It's just one thing after

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Speaker 1: another and or just this like sensation now from the

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Speaker 1: basically from kind of the groin down like hips down.

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Speaker 1: He's got basically no feeling in his legs, which when

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Speaker 1: he walks with his sticks, it's clunky and it's and

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Speaker 1: so he had this neural pain. Like it's funny you

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Speaker 1: could poke him in the hamstring or the quad. He

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Speaker 1: can't feel anything. You could put a needle in there,

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Speaker 1: can't feel it. But he had this neural pain. And anyway,

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Speaker 1: he's his wife and he they put this heat on

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Speaker 1: and he didn't realize how hot it was because he

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Speaker 1: can't feel, and it burned him. And I was in

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Speaker 1: hospital today for a skin graft. Like I spoke to

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Speaker 1: him five minutes before I spoke to you, and I'm

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Speaker 1: like god, and I said, I said, how are you?

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Speaker 1: And he's like, ah, you know, just another trip to

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Speaker 1: the hospital, like he's so matter of fact. Yes, like

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Speaker 1: if I was getting a skin graft, everyone would know

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Speaker 1: I would need cards, I would need sympathy, I would

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Speaker 1: need a lot of attention, as you know. Anyway, So

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Speaker 1: but but you just you two remind me of each other. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: So back to you, you know we were I remember

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Speaker 1: each week you started off, I think you said you

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Speaker 1: thought you had what they call an irty and upper

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Speaker 1: respiratory tract infection, right, yes, yes, that's where you started,

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Speaker 1: and then it progressed, and then when you kind of

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Speaker 1: figured out you had bronchi exstasist or they did, and

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Speaker 1: then I just remember you being like so almost I

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Speaker 1: couldn't even understand how you could be so positive, Like

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Speaker 1: it didn't even like I'm positive, and you were just

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Speaker 1: so positive, and so you had such faith. You're just

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Speaker 1: like I'm going to get through it. And as you said,

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Speaker 1: it was reasonably advanced, like what was your lung function,

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Speaker 1: but I feel it was only like forty or forty

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Speaker 1: two or something NOTSSS.

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Speaker 2: It was, it was sixty percent of diagnosis, and it

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Speaker 2: eventually went down to I was up writing for about

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Speaker 2: five years on about thirty percent so I've lost thirty

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Speaker 2: percent over so I was over about it. Fifteen year journey, yep,

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Speaker 2: I'd gone down to thirty and then of course, well

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Speaker 2: then it just dipped really quickly, very sudden in the end.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, quite noticeable. Just just going back to what

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Speaker 2: you said about my positivity. Well, it comes down to choice, right,

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Speaker 2: So I need choice to make. I was reminded, reminded

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Speaker 2: of this in ICU, actually because I was facing absolute

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Speaker 2: despair in ICU, but I realized I had a choice

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Speaker 2: to make. I was only going to sort of get

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Speaker 2: swallowed up by the despair, and I knew then that

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Speaker 2: would impact my outcome and my recovery. Or I could

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Speaker 2: choose to want to look at the positive or if

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Speaker 2: it was in ICU, I was looking for the beauty

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Speaker 2: in the moment, I thought, you know what, I'm going

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Speaker 2: to focus on the beauty. And I was amazing. I

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Speaker 2: was still able to find beauty. And that moment changed

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Speaker 2: everything for me. It changed the more that I focused

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Speaker 2: on the beauty of the situation, the more it showed up.

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Speaker 2: And it showed up for me and pictured me ups.

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Speaker 2: I'm on my back, I'm barely able to move, I'm

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Speaker 2: a hooked up to every piece of equipment. I'm on

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Speaker 2: a form of life support. I was still alert and

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Speaker 2: I was still awake. I just yeah, just so bad.

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Speaker 2: But basically just thought, I've got a focus on the

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Speaker 2: beauty and that it showed up for me in a

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Speaker 2: form of human connection, so I could focus on just

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Speaker 2: the people I was interacting with the stuff, and yeah,

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Speaker 2: and that's it. Just it was like a like a

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Speaker 2: little sweet flicked anxiety. It was like, okay, and then

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Speaker 2: the more study sharp and it just it changed from

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Speaker 2: there on. It just made things a little bit easier,

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Speaker 2: made to operate very much in the moment, of course,

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Speaker 2: It's just amazing how that single choice changed everything. And

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Speaker 2: I believe its regards of where we're at, we've always

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Speaker 2: got a choice. Well that's why I warned.

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Speaker 1: So you were in you were in intensive care. You

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Speaker 1: were I mean, for all intents and purposes, dying, right,

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Speaker 1: let's go. Yeah, let's be honest.

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Speaker 2: I was in lung fowling. I was close to death

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Speaker 2: the whole moment.

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Speaker 1: It was so your lungs weren't working, you were you

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Speaker 1: were on life support and without being if I get

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Speaker 1: anything wrong, correct this, because I don't want to put

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Speaker 1: words in your mouth. Right, But as far as I like,

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Speaker 1: you were medically and practically being told that you were

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Speaker 1: going to die, it wasn't a matter of if you

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Speaker 1: were going to die.

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Speaker 2: But when you know we were it, it came down

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Speaker 2: to I can't tell close I came to, I'd say,

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Speaker 2: I would say goodbye, I'd say goodbye to my family.

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Speaker 2: I I was basically in the arms of my mother

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Speaker 2: saying goodbye to her. And the next thing, a doctor

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Speaker 2: walks in and says, we've got lungs. Do you want them?

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Speaker 1: Wow? Yeah, so god, I'm sorry, go ahead.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't. I couldn't speak. I couldn't. I was in.

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Speaker 2: It was like a stupid natural moment like I you

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Speaker 2: lot to put words to give a justice because yeah,

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Speaker 2: just I couldn't speak, I could do with not. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: like a big yes, I want the lunes and we'll

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Speaker 2: we must touch on the day before because that's the

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Speaker 2: big part of why I'm still here today as well,

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Speaker 2: like the things that I had to come into play,

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Speaker 2: or there was so many last working paths had to

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Speaker 2: come to play for this all to come to pass,

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Speaker 2: like it's it actually is an absolute miracle that I'm here. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's it's incredible.

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Speaker 1: Can I ask, oh, wow, there's so much we could

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Speaker 1: so do a five hour podcast. We're not going to.

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Speaker 1: But and by the way, like I said to you

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Speaker 1: before we started, if you're need to break, just yell out.

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Speaker 1: We'll hit the pause button. Then you can go get

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Speaker 1: a drink. What you know, when he walked in, you

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Speaker 1: were you'd said goodbye to your family because you knew,

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Speaker 1: you know, for as far as you knew anyway, you

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Speaker 1: were dying, and you were with your mum and you

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Speaker 1: were saying goodbye and whatever, and and then how far

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Speaker 1: away from death were you do you think at that stage.

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Speaker 2: The doctor is it called Peter all that that day.

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Speaker 2: So start from the start of that day, Peter was

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Speaker 2: taking calls from doctors saying, look, there's really nothing more

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Speaker 2: we can do for Jane. It's probably now about looking

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Speaker 2: at how we can make her comfortable. It was his call, obviously,

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Speaker 2: Peter my husband, you know, he's my next to king obviously,

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Speaker 2: so he had that responsibility that well that I can't

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Speaker 2: even imagine. I'm so in awe of. He's my hero essentially,

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Speaker 2: apart from my donor and Donor family, he's my absolute hero,

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Speaker 2: because I can't begin to imagine what it must have

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Speaker 2: been like, take those phone calls to say, look, you know, yeah,

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Speaker 2: your wife's dying and and so at the time, he

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Speaker 2: was sick with COVID, so he couldn't actually physically come

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Speaker 2: in to be with me, and so he's trying to

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Speaker 2: make these decisions. But he just he said to the

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Speaker 2: doctor's look, I really I can't make this decision. I

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Speaker 2: need to see Jade in person. I'm not prepared to

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Speaker 2: make this call. I need to be with her. So

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Speaker 2: he held off. He got multiple calls during the day.

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Speaker 2: He just felt he couldn't make that decision, and that

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Speaker 2: delaying saved my life because had he made that decision,

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Speaker 2: they would have started the process of making me comfortable

359
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Speaker 2: and that would have then maybe no longer eligible to

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Speaker 2: receive donor lungs. So incredible like it is, it's actually

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Speaker 2: it's amazing.

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Speaker 1: Wow. All right, I want to jump around a little bit,

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Speaker 1: if that's all right with you. If you want to

364
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Speaker 1: go anywhere, particularly as in a direction, let me know.

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Speaker 1: But I'll just keep asking questions and if you just

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Speaker 1: want to hijack the convers station, feel free. So back

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Speaker 1: in two thousand and nine. You're so sixteen years ago

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Speaker 1: you find out you're sick and or you've got at

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Speaker 1: least a medical challenge. And you said for five years

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Speaker 1: of your life you operated with about thirty percent lung function. Right, Yes,

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Speaker 1: described to me and my listener's life with not one

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Speaker 1: hundred percent lung function, but thirty percent. What is what

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Speaker 1: is a day like?

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Speaker 2: Okay? So one of the things I decided very early

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Speaker 2: on after was I didn't want the honors to defy me.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to rise above and live. So that was

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Speaker 2: my mottol okay, And that actually didn't come from me.

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Speaker 2: I believe you often talk about here you're talking about

379
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Speaker 2: on your podcasts, the how you receive downloads.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I do.

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Speaker 2: I believe that wasn't of me. I that came from Well.

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Speaker 2: I believe it's God. And I know everyone's got their

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Speaker 2: own interpretation of what that higher power is and the guy.

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Speaker 2: I've got some thoughts on that, having been through a

385
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Speaker 2: few spiritual experiences, but loving that as my my mart

386
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Speaker 2: I had to accept that with where I was at,

387
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Speaker 2: that my condition was going to dictate some of my days.

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Speaker 2: So what I would do is attend to what I

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Speaker 2: had to do practically, but I'd still do my best

390
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Speaker 2: to live as well as I could around that. So

391
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Speaker 2: but it did dictate things something because if I didn't

392
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Speaker 2: do physiotherapy for a couple of hours a day, then

393
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Speaker 2: I would feel like being in the day I was

394
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Speaker 2: drowning because I build fluorida because I was the lungs

395
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 2: were so damaged they couldn't clear the mucus, so I

396
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 2: had to clear it manually with so we're taking a

397
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Speaker 2: couple of hours a day to clear. So I do

398
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,439
Speaker 2: a couple of sessions a day, and probably by that

399
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Speaker 2: stage of when I had thirty percent lung function, I

400
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 2: was doing three one hour sessions of physiotherapy. I had

401
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,879
Speaker 2: to do a bit of whatever exercise I could manish

402
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 2: to just to keep myself going in there. That helped

403
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 2: me to kind of keep my anti going. So I

404
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:29,119
Speaker 2: did I have to move to gain energy, and for

405
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Speaker 2: me that's that actually, And because I was at a

406
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:35,680
Speaker 2: background and exercise, I knew the power that exercised his medicine,

407
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 2: So for me it was part of my daily medicine.

408
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,640
Speaker 2: But also I had to take a lot of medications,

409
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Speaker 2: so I had to do nebulizers to be leading a

410
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 2: day to help to help sort of loosen the mutle,

411
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Speaker 2: to get it to a point where I could actually

412
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 2: physically cop it up just because I would. It was

413
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,639
Speaker 2: an effort at that time then to be able to

414
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Speaker 2: actually cough it out, because just for me, energy became

415
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 2: such a precious resource, so I'd have to think very

416
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:10,680
Speaker 2: carefully about what I use an energy that I didn't

417
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 2: So I'd have to think the start of the day,

418
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Speaker 2: I way, how am I uprain today? What's going to

419
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:21,159
Speaker 2: be really stick for today? And for me my concept

420
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 2: of what was a productive day. Perhaps some of your

421
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 2: listeners will probably have a pi giggle about it because

422
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:29,960
Speaker 2: I think, oh wow, is that productivity? Like, kid, you

423
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:33,320
Speaker 2: not like going to the letter box just to get

424
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Speaker 2: the mail?

425
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Speaker 1: You know?

426
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 2: I go, you beauty, like, what a great day I've

427
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 2: got to letter box? And if I was I going

428
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 2: to get a meal on the table, Oh awesome, great day.

429
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Speaker 2: You know. There was a life became very simple. But

430
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Speaker 2: then I just chose to appreciate the simple things more.

431
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 2: I just got pleasure out of going out on my

432
00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:02,159
Speaker 2: deck for a cup of tea. It became more aware

433
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:06,399
Speaker 2: of my surroundings, just the beauty of nature, just the

434
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:11,919
Speaker 2: beauty of interactions with my family, having quality time and

435
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 2: even now you know now our post transplant, I guess

436
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:19,359
Speaker 2: it's even gone to another level because just your appreciation

437
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 2: of life just yeah, it's been describable, really so thankful.

438
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 1: Could you talk to us about fear in the middle

439
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 1: of all of that. Was there any fear? What was

440
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 1: the fear? How did you deal with because I, personally

441
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,160
Speaker 1: I would have been I would have been terrified.

442
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 2: Well, there were times ups where I'm human, you know,

443
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 2: it's it's a human moment, like it's something we all

444
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:52,520
Speaker 2: go through. I just have to I talked myself through.

445
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:56,800
Speaker 2: I guess, having had so much practice. I think the

446
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 2: power of self talk, knowing the power of a war,

447
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:06,760
Speaker 2: words that I would speak, just walk into people, heart beat,

448
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:10,119
Speaker 2: how I was feeling, if I was fearful, being honest

449
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:14,679
Speaker 2: with people. My family were fantastic support. But there were

450
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 2: certain things like one of the symptoms I'd have to

451
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:21,640
Speaker 2: deal with quite frequently was lun bleeding. So I could

452
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,160
Speaker 2: be just having a conversation with you, halfter. I remember

453
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 2: I did on air one day have a bit of

454
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 2: a bleed. I don't think I told you at the time,

455
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,639
Speaker 2: but I stepped out of the studio like that would happen,

456
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 2: and of course you'd have that initial the body goes

457
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 2: into you get this fresh response. So of course I'd

458
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:44,280
Speaker 2: have to learn to manage that, and I found with time,

459
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 2: with practice, I'd get better at it, and I'd remind

460
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 2: myself I think it was because of it would happen

461
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 2: so often. I'd say, I'd always go back to, Okay,

462
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 2: what do I know to be true? So I'd have

463
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 2: a bleed, I'd Jane, what do you want be true?

464
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 2: In this moment? I go, well, I've got past experience

465
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 2: to tell me that I've overcome this, so based on

466
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 2: what I know, I can overcome this again. And so

467
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 2: I just I'd focus on that and just bled and

468
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 2: just trust if I could get through, and that would

469
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:23,400
Speaker 2: calm me down. Of course, I know, if I could

470
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:27,239
Speaker 2: calm that stress response, then I can actually see and

471
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:31,479
Speaker 2: feel that the bleeding would actually slow down. You started

472
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:35,520
Speaker 2: to learn I actually realized I actually had all not

473
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:39,280
Speaker 2: complete control, by a little bit of control, just by

474
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 2: the way I spoke to myself.

475
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 1: Like the mind people. Yeah, think about when oh sorry, sorry,

476
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 1: when you talk to yourself like that, and you know

477
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:58,320
Speaker 1: you switch on your parasympathetic nervous system, and your heart

478
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 1: rate slows down, and your blood pressure comes down a bit,

479
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 1: and the adrenaline eas is up and all of those

480
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:08,600
Speaker 1: things that kind of elevate cardiovascular You know that. Yeah,

481
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 1: so then you you kind of turn it around. And

482
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 1: that is such amazing self awareness and self regulation to

483
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 1: be able to. And that's something that I think a

484
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 1: lot of us, me included over the years, you know,

485
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 1: we struggle with is is genuinely trying to or genuinely

486
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 1: being able to have that self awareness and that ability

487
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:36,479
Speaker 1: to self regulate in the moment, you know, what's in

488
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 1: my control, what's not? What do I know? Through such

489
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 1: great questions.

490
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 2: Also the power of story, because I would also go

491
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 2: back to a story a doctor Tommy. Now, say about

492
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 2: seven years into my journey, I had a particularly bad

493
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 2: bleed and ill. In the early years, I ended up

494
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 2: in hospital every time I had a bleed because they

495
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 2: didn't have medication, so I'd always have to go via

496
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:07,520
Speaker 2: an ambulance to hospital. And I remember this doctor saying

497
00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 2: to me, about three o'clock in the morning, I was

498
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 2: bleeding profusely, like I was just there was just blood

499
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 2: coming out and I remember I looked up and just

500
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 2: in between when it just I could speak, I said

501
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 2: to the doctor is this it? Am I going to die?

502
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 2: And he told me a story about a patient who

503
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 2: they'd flown from Queensland down to Melbourne, a fishing out

504
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:37,000
Speaker 2: of the sea and it survived. Yes, he lost a

505
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 2: lot of blood, but he survived. And from that when

506
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 2: I was I always went back, that's time for well,

507
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:47,720
Speaker 2: if they can survive, well, you know what I'm seeing

508
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:51,920
Speaker 2: my lantern. I'm about thirty four and took from the

509
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 2: hospital maybe twenty minutes with the sirens going, maybe least

510
00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:00,960
Speaker 2: because they'd rushed me to hospital obviously, you know what.

511
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 2: It was still on my side still and the body

512
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 2: is remarkable. Like, I guess that's one of the greatest lessons.

513
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:15,320
Speaker 2: Like and I do I believe I've come back in

514
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 2: one of my little spiritual experiences I did. I know

515
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:24,080
Speaker 2: I've come back with a specific purpose. I know it

516
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:27,560
Speaker 2: wasn't one that I writed myself. I know it's because

517
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even use the words that But why of

518
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 2: the words was given to me? The download I had,

519
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even use that word in my vocabulary, So

520
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 2: I had to look it up actually to know what

521
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 2: in the context of what was relevant to me to

522
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:42,080
Speaker 2: go forward.

523
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 1: What what's the word?

524
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,360
Speaker 2: So I was divinity, So I was you need to

525
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 2: go back and remind people of their divinity? And I thought, well, okay,

526
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 2: what in what context? But because you know, I felt divinity, holy,

527
00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 2: the holiness, what I actually googled it HAPs and what

528
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:06,080
Speaker 2: resonated was it's the bats to.

529
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:06,360
Speaker 1: Do with.

530
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 2: It was partly that about our unlimited potential. So we

531
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 2: often all operate from so much limitation, you know, like

532
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:22,800
Speaker 2: we limit bout luls and so I guess I'm here

533
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 2: to remind well, I'm told I'm here to remind people

534
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:35,520
Speaker 2: that they're full of potential. There. Yeah, it's amazing.

535
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 1: Do you think that.

536
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 2: It sounds out there? And look, by guarantee, HAPs years ago,

537
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have had this conversation with you on air

538
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:46,920
Speaker 2: because I want to worried about what will people think

539
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 2: of this? They'll think I'm crazy, I'm woo woo whatever.

540
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 2: And now I'm so comfortable in my skin. I think,

541
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 2: you know what, I accept that people have maybe listening

542
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 2: to this podcast. I think, look that all sounds a

543
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:01,480
Speaker 2: bit crazy whatever, And I expect that and then everyone's

544
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 2: in told in their opinion. But I've got to be

545
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:09,400
Speaker 2: true to myself. And I feel I'm here for a purpose.

546
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 2: We're all here for purpose or want to live in

547
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:16,279
Speaker 2: a line of that purpose. I just feel there's such

548
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:20,799
Speaker 2: a freedom in just speaking my truth, not worrying about

549
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:24,840
Speaker 2: what other people say, and just yees spend There's times

550
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:26,680
Speaker 2: in my life now where I speak up more. Well,

551
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 2: I would have remained silent. I think, well, if that

552
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,840
Speaker 2: offend somebody or that makes them feel uncomfortable and signed,

553
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 2: But my intentions, intentions always good. I come from a

554
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 2: positive intention.

555
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I mean people. And this is the this

556
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 1: is the practical reality of talking to thousands of people,

557
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:51,840
Speaker 1: which you and I are now, is that everyone. You know,

558
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:54,359
Speaker 1: there'll be people right now who are inspired, people who

559
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:57,920
Speaker 1: are a little bit sad for you, people who are intrigued,

560
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:01,399
Speaker 1: people who are curious, people who have already turned off,

561
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,640
Speaker 1: people who are like oh, I can't hardly hear her.

562
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,719
Speaker 1: And you know, like this is the this is the

563
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 1: human experience. It's like I have people who think I'm great,

564
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,680
Speaker 1: and I have people who hate me, and I have

565
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 1: everyone in between. I have people who send me nasty emails.

566
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:19,320
Speaker 1: I have people who send me the nicest emails of

567
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 1: all time. This is the you know. And in the

568
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,920
Speaker 1: middle of trying to be a good human, which I do,

569
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:27,720
Speaker 1: which you do, there are always going to be people

570
00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 1: who resonate with you and don't resonate with you. And

571
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,719
Speaker 1: you know, your job and my job is not to

572
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:39,439
Speaker 1: keep everyone happy. Your job is to go, well, why

573
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 1: am I here? What's my purpose? What am I meant to?

574
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:44,799
Speaker 1: I think it is? And then do your best to

575
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:47,360
Speaker 1: be whatever it is you believe you're meant to be

576
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:51,040
Speaker 1: and meant to be doing, and because otherwise you spend

577
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 1: your life in this psychological prison of worrying about what

578
00:35:56,440 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 1: strangers think of your words like that is that doesn't

579
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 1: help you or help them. And there will be people

580
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 1: I can't guarantee, but I am quite comfortable in thinking

581
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 1: there will be people today that hear you and you're

582
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:17,319
Speaker 1: not getting on here to be rah rah, and you're not.

583
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,960
Speaker 1: You're not Tony Robinson it up at all. But there

584
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 1: will be people that there will be people that hear

585
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 1: you that for you this moment in time, not because

586
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:29,320
Speaker 1: of the You project or Craig Harper, but because maybe

587
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 1: not even because of you, but because of your message.

588
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,399
Speaker 1: It's going to be transformational for them. And I think

589
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 1: that is that is why I love well, I love you,

590
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,759
Speaker 1: but I love I wanted to share you and your

591
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:47,480
Speaker 1: story with people because you can bang out all the

592
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 1: data and all the information and all the theory of

593
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 1: change and the theory of self help and the theory

594
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:59,920
Speaker 1: of high performance and human optimization and you know, potent,

595
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:06,240
Speaker 1: but hearing somebody who basically was very very very close

596
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:09,920
Speaker 1: to death and then in the middle of that finding peace,

597
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 1: and then the middle of that, you know, some people

598
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 1: will say it's a miracle. Some people will say whatever,

599
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 1: it is right, but it is what it is, and

600
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 1: you are here, and you are you know. I just

601
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:26,120
Speaker 1: think that it is such a blessing that you get

602
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:29,800
Speaker 1: to for us, that is that you get to say,

603
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,799
Speaker 1: this is what I went through. And I think as

604
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 1: a you know, as people who are on the journey,

605
00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 1: which is all of my listeners, like you don't even

606
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 1: have to point out the lessons. You just go, here's

607
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 1: my story. Here's my story. You know.

608
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:49,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, when out there you might be facing some challenges,

609
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:52,880
Speaker 2: I say, look, I you know, and you're dealing with

610
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:56,839
Speaker 2: so much uncertainly. What am I go to tools is

611
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 2: outside of myself long as uncertainty, So as much as

612
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 2: the uncertainy might be in your face, like for me,

613
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 2: it's in my face constantly that there's no guarantees for

614
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:14,160
Speaker 2: me and probably more so than for some other people

615
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:18,840
Speaker 2: with my reality. But I find peace. Well it's a

616
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:23,279
Speaker 2: cent sort of sense of actually mind this alone, because yeah,

617
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:27,440
Speaker 2: the reality is none of us are guaranteed. So let's

618
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 2: just do the best we can and enjoy what we can. Well, well,

619
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 2: we've got it like life.

620
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 1: And I ask so as we record everyone, just to

621
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 1: put this in context. It's October two, twenty twenty five.

622
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 1: What day was your transplant? What was the date?

623
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:55,520
Speaker 2: But the nineteen nineteen, remember November twenty twenty three.

624
00:38:56,719 --> 00:39:01,920
Speaker 1: So November nineteen, twenty twenty three, so we're heading towards

625
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 1: two years. Yes, I want to jump around a little bit,

626
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:07,799
Speaker 1: but I want to start with right now. So right

627
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 1: now today talking to me, can you give us an

628
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:15,600
Speaker 1: idea of your like your status, your health, your performance,

629
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:18,320
Speaker 1: your lung function, where you're at right now? And also

630
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:22,879
Speaker 1: if I could be so, I hope this is not insensitive,

631
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:25,360
Speaker 1: but like, what's your life expectancy and all that.

632
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:31,400
Speaker 2: Now I'm hayby to go there. So at the moment,

633
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 2: my lung functions thing about fifty four percent. And look,

634
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 2: some people's lung function goes, but it goes right up

635
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:44,480
Speaker 2: like into the nineties for me because I had so

636
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 2: it's been one hundred and twenty two days in hospital.

637
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 2: I had eighty two days in ICU.

638
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:54,799
Speaker 1: And eighty two days in intensive care.

639
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:59,040
Speaker 2: Yes I did. Yeah, that's almost a record. It's actually

640
00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:01,840
Speaker 2: the second longest time. And ICE you at the hospital

641
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,319
Speaker 2: I was at as I almost set a record, which

642
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 2: I wish I hadn't ups but look why I've got

643
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 2: I got clapped out of ICU. I think I might

644
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:13,719
Speaker 2: have sent you the footage of that.

645
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:17,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I saw they wheeled you out. You had a standing.

646
00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 1: I mean there was literally all look like a whole

647
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 1: team of medical people.

648
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:26,279
Speaker 2: But thousands almost No, not go I mean did.

649
00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 1: They I mean, I know your self deprecating, but I

650
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:31,040
Speaker 1: know you. They must have fallen in love with you

651
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:32,080
Speaker 1: a little bit? Did they.

652
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:37,759
Speaker 2: With each other? I haven't go in love with the

653
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:41,720
Speaker 2: people that turned me over because I couldn't do anything

654
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 2: for myself up. I was completely dependent. I couldn't go

655
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:49,280
Speaker 2: to the toilet by myself. I was I was basically

656
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:53,759
Speaker 2: lying on a bed. I spent weeks unable to I

657
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 2: couldn't speak because I had so to wait to the

658
00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 2: vocal cord dysfunction that I've got. I had a tracheostomy,

659
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:07,600
Speaker 2: so I couldn't speak. I couldn't I could move my fingers,

660
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 2: I move my toes. That was about. It's like I

661
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,600
Speaker 2: had to get yeah turned over by a team of

662
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 2: people every couple of hours. So I fell in love

663
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 2: with them. I think that I need. I got to

664
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:22,680
Speaker 2: like me because I interacted with me in the way

665
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:25,759
Speaker 2: I could. So initially i'd interact with my eyes. I

666
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 2: could only raise my eyebrows, so I'd sort of raise

667
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 2: my eyebrows. And then I got to the stage where

668
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 2: eventually I could wave my arms. So they but they

669
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 2: discovered I loved music, so they played music for me

670
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 2: as I was turning my body and I'd like wave

671
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:42,760
Speaker 2: my arms.

672
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 1: That's hilarious.

673
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 2: There was a highlight of my day because I had

674
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:51,719
Speaker 2: to find the simplest things to find joy in. So

675
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:54,719
Speaker 2: I'd go I'd be hanging out for my team of

676
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:58,319
Speaker 2: people to come and turn me over because I go, yeah,

677
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 2: beauty because I get they playing music or they interact

678
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:05,560
Speaker 2: with me. So I just I was craving human connection

679
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:09,759
Speaker 2: because my family was only allowed in two hours every day,

680
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:16,040
Speaker 2: so really need to find elsewhere. So yeah, so I

681
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 2: think we're going to be off track there, alps, we've gone.

682
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 1: No, No, it's good, We're good. I want to know.

683
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:26,759
Speaker 3: Okay, so fifty four percent lung function yep, so but

684
00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:31,720
Speaker 3: it should hopefully you will continue to create. I believe

685
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:34,800
Speaker 3: it will because I've still got a lot of weakness

686
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:39,160
Speaker 3: across the chest, down my legs. I've got nerve damage

687
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:43,719
Speaker 3: from the surgery because it was it wasn't straightforward my surgery.

688
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, they had to. They had difficulties keeping me going

689
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:52,520
Speaker 2: during the surgery because I lost Yeah, there's a lot

690
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:55,920
Speaker 2: of blood loss and was so I cat damage from

691
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 2: the surgery, so that there's a lot of weakness. In fact,

692
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 2: it's still it feels like someone's crushing me on the chest.

693
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:07,800
Speaker 2: That's a daily thing. I just but I I acknowledge

694
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:09,720
Speaker 2: it's there, but I just kind of get on with things.

695
00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 2: And again, power of the mind, it's just incredible what

696
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 2: you can do. It's more when I sit down and

697
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:19,680
Speaker 2: stop and think about it. I'm aware of the physical

698
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:22,840
Speaker 2: the physical impact of what I've been through, and like

699
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 2: I've got nerved dow me tried down my right leg.

700
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:32,400
Speaker 2: So what you said all that I'm walking, I'm walking

701
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:37,720
Speaker 2: like for thirty minutes. I'm doing weight training. I'm loving life,

702
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:41,239
Speaker 2: like just because I always loved exercise, but I've never

703
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:44,879
Speaker 2: been on the exercise to the point of getting sure

704
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:49,239
Speaker 2: of breath, like and explain that moments of breath was

705
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:56,000
Speaker 2: it went wrong, they would feel terrible right transplant, because

706
00:43:56,000 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 2: I was just so debilitating. Whereas now I get sure

707
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 2: of breath, I go, this is awesome, Like this is

708
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:07,440
Speaker 2: a good shortness of breath, and I recover and I

709
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 2: can so I embrace getting short of breath, and like,

710
00:44:11,239 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 2: for the first time ever, I can exercise and push

711
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 2: myself loving that. Like so I can extend myself so

712
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 2: yet exercise, I can actually go about daily activity's without

713
00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:26,200
Speaker 2: having to stop and think, oh, have I got the

714
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 2: energy for this? I still take little breaks, but like

715
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:34,920
Speaker 2: I'm just able to do so much more. And you know,

716
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:38,760
Speaker 2: once upon a time, I always reliant on my family,

717
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:41,720
Speaker 2: you know, full time, like they all did to step

718
00:44:41,719 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 2: in the gap now I can support them, and I'm

719
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:47,879
Speaker 2: just loving bell to be there for them and do

720
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 2: things for them, look for them, clean for them, you know,

721
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:56,800
Speaker 2: go ahead and do stuff. Be spontaneous like I'm loving

722
00:44:56,840 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 2: sposhat like. I know we didn't even and this talk today,

723
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,719
Speaker 2: but I woke up. I wake up with excitement of

724
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:08,480
Speaker 2: what's the possibilities of what might be in my day?

725
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,800
Speaker 2: I actually ask Michael myself the question. Every time I

726
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 2: wonder the morning, halfs nights, I have gratitude like, thank

727
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 2: you God for another day, and then it's, oh, my goodness,

728
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 2: how exciting the possibilities. I ask myself a question. I'll say,

729
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:28,840
Speaker 2: what this is going to be the best day of

730
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:30,080
Speaker 2: my life?

731
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:31,520
Speaker 1: Yeah?

732
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:39,960
Speaker 2: And ah, living impossibility. I love it. You just don't

733
00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:43,080
Speaker 2: know what will show up. And yes, there will be

734
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:46,440
Speaker 2: things that you'll navigate that are going to test you.

735
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 2: And I can sell you right now, I've got a

736
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:53,400
Speaker 2: lot of stuff going on around me. Unfortunately, once I

737
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:56,439
Speaker 2: started to get really well, you know, the other people

738
00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:59,879
Speaker 2: around me who've been to my supporters, they've crumbled a bit,

739
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:05,399
Speaker 2: totally understandably because they've been through the mill for years. Right,

740
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:10,400
Speaker 2: no one knows what they've been through and so now

741
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:15,400
Speaker 2: it's their turn. But I'm here. I can show up

742
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 2: for them, I can be there for them, I can

743
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 2: support them on their journey. And that's the thing that's

744
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 2: kind of my purpose in being blessed with being put

745
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:31,759
Speaker 2: back here is to be of service to others, which

746
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 2: that was always a priority for me, but that's really

747
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:39,320
Speaker 2: important for me, but also in your mind, I still

748
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:43,799
Speaker 2: have to I do have to put myself first, prioritize

749
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,879
Speaker 2: my own self care because if I'm no good, I'm

750
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 2: no good to others.

751
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:52,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Can I ask you this is a bit

752
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:54,319
Speaker 1: of a I don't even know how to ask this question,

753
00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 1: so I'm just going to ask it. All my polished

754
00:46:57,200 --> 00:47:03,240
Speaker 1: kind of podcasting skills are out there door. Today people

755
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:07,280
Speaker 1: talk about when they have a transplant that they feel

756
00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 1: different or that they they are something. There's some sense

757
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:14,040
Speaker 1: of the donor or I don't know what the right

758
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:17,200
Speaker 1: word is, but I remember seeing a guy who had

759
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:23,440
Speaker 1: a heart transplant, quite a very well known bodybuilder and powerlifter,

760
00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:27,040
Speaker 1: and it was from the heart was from a lady,

761
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:32,279
Speaker 1: and the donor was a lady, and he just like

762
00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:37,560
Speaker 1: from he he was way more compassionate and way more

763
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:40,799
Speaker 1: empathetic and all of these things, which it literally he

764
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:44,200
Speaker 1: said it literally. I mean he's still him, but it

765
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:47,480
Speaker 1: kind of changed him. And he liked how it changed him.

766
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:50,319
Speaker 1: And I mean, I don't even know what to ask you,

767
00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:57,359
Speaker 1: but tell me about being an organ donor recipient, like

768
00:47:57,440 --> 00:48:00,320
Speaker 1: that's a massive thing, right, tell me a bit about it,

769
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:02,960
Speaker 1: like either medically or emotionally or whatever.

770
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:08,320
Speaker 2: It's almost I'll say, it's such an honor, a privilege.

771
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 2: So to be carrying somebody else forward, Like when people

772
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:15,120
Speaker 2: ask me, now, how are you, I say, we're great.

773
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:16,879
Speaker 1: Wow.

774
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:20,600
Speaker 2: But I just feel so I feel such a connection

775
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:22,680
Speaker 2: with his person. I don't I don't know who this

776
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 2: person in his arms, but I will tell you. When

777
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 2: I woke up from the transplant, when I was finally

778
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:35,520
Speaker 2: able to speak, my one of my first things I

779
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:43,560
Speaker 2: said to Peter, my husband, was I've got male lungs.

780
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 1: Wow.

781
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,319
Speaker 2: He said, what do you mean? I said, oh, I

782
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:54,440
Speaker 2: just feel I've got lungs from a male And he said, oh,

783
00:48:54,719 --> 00:48:57,759
Speaker 2: you know. I said, it's just a I don't know,

784
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:01,120
Speaker 2: and look like, yeah, you get told a little bit

785
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:05,000
Speaker 2: of information for me because I was quite delirious too.

786
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:07,480
Speaker 2: Ups I went through a lot of delirium I've got.

787
00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 2: I could write a book on delirium. I don't know

788
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:15,120
Speaker 2: what's there's still stuff that I'm still working through to

789
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:19,520
Speaker 2: work out what's true and what wasn't. But yeah, I

790
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 2: can tell you I do feel I'm the same person,

791
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:27,080
Speaker 2: but I feel like I'm a better version of myself

792
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 2: thanks to my donor. I feel more fearless because I

793
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 2: can a book and say, in my past, oh, over

794
00:49:37,719 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 2: many years, there were times where I made a lot

795
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:41,960
Speaker 2: of decisions out of fear.

796
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:44,279
Speaker 1: Yes, and I.

797
00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:48,319
Speaker 2: Do believe you. Someone might say, well, maybe it's just

798
00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 2: now that I'm more feelss. Maybe it's just the experience

799
00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:56,160
Speaker 2: of this second chance, and no, no, I genuinely believe

800
00:49:56,200 --> 00:50:01,000
Speaker 2: it's my donor. I suspect they were. I'm an adventurous person.

801
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:05,000
Speaker 2: I don't know that as a fact, but I feel

802
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:08,520
Speaker 2: more adventurous. And if you were asked to ask Peter,

803
00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 2: my husband, he would say, you're definitely different. And he says,

804
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:15,920
Speaker 2: I'm look I was never I think I've always been

805
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:20,560
Speaker 2: reasonally laid back, but I have gone to more. He

806
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:23,279
Speaker 2: would say, I'm even more chilled than I used to be.

807
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:28,120
Speaker 2: It takes a lot to upset me or on sittle

808
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:32,479
Speaker 2: me out. Still I can still react, but it takes more.

809
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:35,880
Speaker 2: It definitely takes more than it used to.

810
00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:39,440
Speaker 1: I feel like you've always you know, that equanimity thing,

811
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 1: like being able to be the calm and the chaos.

812
00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:46,640
Speaker 1: I feel you've always been, you know, pretty good at that,

813
00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:49,959
Speaker 1: and you've always just had this. I'm not just saying

814
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:53,600
Speaker 1: it because we're because it's convenient now in this chat,

815
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:57,839
Speaker 1: but you've always had this consistent energy and this can

816
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:02,040
Speaker 1: like like in all the is that we've known each

817
00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:03,719
Speaker 1: other and we haven't seen each other for too long,

818
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:06,959
Speaker 1: and that's my bad. But in all the however many

819
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:10,279
Speaker 1: conversations you and I had on air, off air, at

820
00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:16,680
Speaker 1: the studio, away from the studio, you were never anything

821
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:20,160
Speaker 1: but nice, like and I know that's a terrible word,

822
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:24,560
Speaker 1: but just kind and thoughtful and empathetic, much more than me,

823
00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:29,840
Speaker 1: much more like if somebody said, what's Jane, like, I

824
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:32,839
Speaker 1: go much better than me, but just a much better

825
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:37,200
Speaker 1: version of me. But you know, I don't know, I

826
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:40,120
Speaker 1: don't know whether that's something that you work on consciously

827
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:45,840
Speaker 1: or that's just your personality, but you know, it's inspirational

828
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:49,279
Speaker 1: for people to be around you. You probably don't know that,

829
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:50,279
Speaker 1: but it definitely is.

830
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:55,680
Speaker 2: Oh it's so much for that, but I think it's

831
00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:59,839
Speaker 2: it's probably a combination for a number of factors. And look,

832
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:04,600
Speaker 2: I was lucky to I had good role models. Unfortunately,

833
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 2: I watched my dad deal with illness for a good

834
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:10,920
Speaker 2: part of my life from when I was a teenager,

835
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:13,239
Speaker 2: and I just looked at the way he used to

836
00:52:13,239 --> 00:52:17,240
Speaker 2: handle it, and I thought, wow, you know, if by chance,

837
00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:20,480
Speaker 2: and you know, yeah, obviously didn't know, I wasn't head,

838
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:24,959
Speaker 2: but gosh, if I had to face something, I've got

839
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:27,960
Speaker 2: such a good example of the way to approach. Like

840
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:31,960
Speaker 2: I remember my dad saying, oh, you know, these are

841
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:35,239
Speaker 2: just life tests, so you know again they clomed down

842
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:39,520
Speaker 2: to choice. He had a choice to make. He approached

843
00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:42,880
Speaker 2: the hollness with grace. I believe he's just never complained.

844
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:46,000
Speaker 2: And look, I'm not gonna say there are part there's

845
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:50,239
Speaker 2: a tidy place to complain and say, actually, love day

846
00:52:50,360 --> 00:52:55,640
Speaker 2: or in this moment, I'm really struggling, so human explience isn't.

847
00:52:57,719 --> 00:53:02,400
Speaker 2: But then yeah, but no, I feel I will all

848
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:06,279
Speaker 2: send a time with it and say, looks myself off,

849
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:09,319
Speaker 2: it's time to get on with it, and just get

850
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:09,759
Speaker 2: on with it.

851
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:15,920
Speaker 1: So I can't even begin to imagine the stress and

852
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 1: the anxiety for your whole family, of course, like a

853
00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:22,360
Speaker 1: few girls and for Pete, but but for Pete especially

854
00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:25,360
Speaker 1: who's you know at that time had to be the

855
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:30,040
Speaker 1: everything for you, but also the dad. And you've got

856
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:32,239
Speaker 1: to be stoic. You've got to be strong. Yes you're human,

857
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:33,960
Speaker 1: and yes you're going to have your moments, but you've

858
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:35,800
Speaker 1: got to be strong. You've got to make the hardest

859
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:39,000
Speaker 1: decisions of all time. You've got to be present. And

860
00:53:39,040 --> 00:53:42,400
Speaker 1: then when he's with you, he can't fall apart, you know,

861
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:43,839
Speaker 1: I mean he can't, but you know what I mean,

862
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:45,279
Speaker 1: he's got to be strong for you. He's got to

863
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:49,840
Speaker 1: be strong for everyone. How did he come out of

864
00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:52,200
Speaker 1: all of this? Because I would imagine, like you were

865
00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:55,520
Speaker 1: talking about a few people post all of this had struggled,

866
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:59,440
Speaker 1: I'd imagine the trauma and almost PTSD. Right, it's because

867
00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:02,120
Speaker 1: it's it's very traumatic.

868
00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:08,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, so all family members have experienced stay. Yeah, if

869
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 2: the daughters, we're actually used a lot of humor to

870
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:14,640
Speaker 2: get through because we sprained the other day or recently,

871
00:54:14,640 --> 00:54:17,000
Speaker 2: my daughter said, one of my daughters said, I wish

872
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:19,360
Speaker 2: youd have not all that this man for a dinner party.

873
00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:26,320
Speaker 4: Huh, Well, we've all had to work through. Yeah, the

874
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:29,920
Speaker 4: true and it's all it all, it's all manifested in

875
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:32,799
Speaker 4: all different ways. Like because we're all different people. So

876
00:54:33,360 --> 00:54:36,840
Speaker 4: how as you know, Harps, how one person's anna respond,

877
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:41,600
Speaker 4: it's gonna be different to another. So but yeah, they're

878
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:46,840
Speaker 4: all eates get pts like just don't give an example. Recently,

879
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:50,400
Speaker 4: he was taking me in for a hospital visit, just

880
00:54:50,440 --> 00:54:53,120
Speaker 4: for a check up, and he actually hadn't been back

881
00:54:53,120 --> 00:54:56,200
Speaker 4: in the hospital for about seven months because I said, Tom,

882
00:54:56,719 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 4: you just dropped me off and you.

883
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:01,120
Speaker 2: Go and treat yourself. You go and have a cup

884
00:55:01,120 --> 00:55:03,120
Speaker 2: of down at the local cafe, and you have some

885
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:06,400
Speaker 2: time just for yourself, because honestly, Arps, he deserves it.

886
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:10,359
Speaker 2: He's been incredible. So what do you while in step

887
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:14,960
Speaker 2: look in the hospital after the time, he actually experienced

888
00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:20,400
Speaker 2: panic attacks and he couldn't be thick enough. And so

889
00:55:20,560 --> 00:55:23,680
Speaker 2: he's had to work through all that and work on

890
00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:26,560
Speaker 2: his on his own mental health. He's had a time

891
00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:29,480
Speaker 2: out from work and so he should like and now

892
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:31,879
Speaker 2: he struggled with that for a while because he felt

893
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:34,640
Speaker 2: like he should have been the providing forests, and is

894
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:38,439
Speaker 2: said in harps to beat you, you take the time

895
00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:43,680
Speaker 2: you need because nobody knows what you've been through. And

896
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:45,680
Speaker 2: that's one thing. Other ways, I guess I've always been

897
00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:48,760
Speaker 2: able to do to is put myself in other people's shoes,

898
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:52,320
Speaker 2: and for me, that's been one of the most difficult

899
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,919
Speaker 2: parts of my recoveries. Knowing what my family went through

900
00:55:56,200 --> 00:56:01,799
Speaker 2: their struggles, that's been my biggest trauma. You knowing there,

901
00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:05,400
Speaker 2: I'd imagine what must have been like for them to

902
00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:10,360
Speaker 2: see to see me or pooked up to equipment of

903
00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:19,839
Speaker 2: life support, the emotion of the are losing me just it's.

904
00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:25,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, well even more than that, didn't the girls didn't

905
00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:27,640
Speaker 1: they come in to say goodbye to you?

906
00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:28,879
Speaker 2: They did?

907
00:56:29,880 --> 00:56:32,200
Speaker 1: I mean, how do you go in and you say,

908
00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:36,240
Speaker 1: I don't even want to, like, but yeah, your mom's

909
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:38,799
Speaker 1: going to die. This is it going? Say good? I mean,

910
00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:41,279
Speaker 1: kids shouldn't have to do. I mean, I get it

911
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:44,279
Speaker 1: when you know eventually that's going to happen, I guess

912
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:46,960
Speaker 1: for everyone. But your kids were relatively young and you

913
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:51,799
Speaker 1: relatively young, and like and then and of course the

914
00:56:51,880 --> 00:56:56,440
Speaker 1: overwhelming I guess I don't know experiences relief and gratitude.

915
00:56:56,480 --> 00:56:59,800
Speaker 1: But that's still that trauma and that experience that's still

916
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:03,799
Speaker 1: is on a cellular level in them somewhere, doesn't it absolutely?

917
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:07,640
Speaker 2: And look, I'm lucky ups now that when I so,

918
00:57:07,680 --> 00:57:11,360
Speaker 2: if I cast my mind back to ICU, my first

919
00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:17,320
Speaker 2: thought is the funny moments and yeah, the beautiful moments

920
00:57:17,360 --> 00:57:21,960
Speaker 2: I spoke about before, right, And then I remember I

921
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:25,880
Speaker 2: recall the trauma. It's almost like go back has some

922
00:57:26,040 --> 00:57:31,440
Speaker 2: as level and I don't feel just say it's still

923
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:34,120
Speaker 2: all probably say a level. But I've done a lot

924
00:57:34,160 --> 00:57:39,600
Speaker 2: of work and I've done some incredible therapy that's really

925
00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:42,600
Speaker 2: helped me. So it's not to say that something might

926
00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:47,760
Speaker 2: not happen because it's not linear, Like it's not linear

927
00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:51,959
Speaker 2: process isn't. So I accept that that something might still

928
00:57:51,960 --> 00:57:56,520
Speaker 2: come up. And initially I remember I had I remember

929
00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:58,880
Speaker 2: having a panic attack. I never had a panic attack

930
00:57:58,920 --> 00:58:01,520
Speaker 2: in my life that came out of hospital. I was

931
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:05,560
Speaker 2: putting a pair of jeans and I was trying to

932
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:08,880
Speaker 2: help me get dressed and I'm like, I started to cry,

933
00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:11,440
Speaker 2: them quick get me into the jeans. I got stuck.

934
00:58:11,480 --> 00:58:14,959
Speaker 2: I couldn't get my leg through, and I'm like, quick,

935
00:58:14,960 --> 00:58:18,400
Speaker 2: get me, I'm trapped. I'm trapped. And I didn't realize

936
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:21,840
Speaker 2: at the time, but later after so I'm back kit,

937
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:26,840
Speaker 2: I realized it was feeling trapped in my body back

938
00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:35,640
Speaker 2: in laiceear right, and the feeling of being trapped. So yeah, yeah,

939
00:58:35,640 --> 00:58:39,520
Speaker 2: it's amazing, but it's got com through that. And I said,

940
00:58:39,840 --> 00:58:43,520
Speaker 2: I go back to funny moments in that A two days.

941
00:58:44,720 --> 00:58:46,840
Speaker 2: There are a lot of funny moments as well with

942
00:58:46,960 --> 00:58:47,480
Speaker 2: the staff.

943
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:50,840
Speaker 1: I think that's a very Australian thing too, is like

944
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:54,040
Speaker 1: trying to deal, you know, trying to navigate pain and

945
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:58,320
Speaker 1: trauma with humor, and it's it's super understandable. A couple

946
00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:00,800
Speaker 1: of things like we're gonna let you go soon, but

947
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:05,240
Speaker 1: we could maybe do another one one day. But so

948
00:59:06,240 --> 00:59:08,360
Speaker 1: I want you to be as open as you want.

949
00:59:08,720 --> 00:59:15,960
Speaker 1: But tell us about I don't know the spiritual awakening,

950
00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:19,040
Speaker 1: the god awakening, if there was what that looked like.

951
00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:22,400
Speaker 1: Don't worry about what, don't worry about what people's belief

952
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:25,600
Speaker 1: systems are or aren't. This is just you. I just

953
00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:28,960
Speaker 1: want to know. I want to I want to know

954
00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:31,440
Speaker 1: what happened, Like, what do you know now? What do

955
00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:34,880
Speaker 1: you believe now? What changed now because you you already

956
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:38,400
Speaker 1: had a faith, So tell me what's happening now and

957
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:39,360
Speaker 1: happened since then?

958
00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:44,480
Speaker 2: Okay, So as I understand my experience, So coming up,

959
00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:50,200
Speaker 2: I thought God was a man, this guy. So but

960
00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:56,560
Speaker 2: my experience today tells me there is definitely there is something.

961
00:59:57,160 --> 01:00:01,600
Speaker 2: So like, oh God, there's something experienced it I have

962
01:00:03,480 --> 01:00:08,240
Speaker 2: I just stepped into well, I've I've left my body

963
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:12,560
Speaker 2: because I was so when I realized, well, my purpose

964
01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:16,200
Speaker 2: was I was actually outside my body. Ups. I was

965
01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:20,720
Speaker 2: floating above my body, looking over my body in absolute

966
01:00:20,800 --> 01:00:28,320
Speaker 2: awe feeling. There's actually no words to describe how awesome

967
01:00:28,360 --> 01:00:32,280
Speaker 2: I felt. Right, It's like, if you're okay, the best

968
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:35,320
Speaker 2: I can give you is, imagine, have you experienced like

969
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:40,720
Speaker 2: high even mad.

970
01:00:42,480 --> 01:00:49,160
Speaker 1: Uh? Well, when when Mark died in the gym and

971
01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:51,600
Speaker 1: then he came back to life, that was pretty good.

972
01:00:52,560 --> 01:00:57,200
Speaker 2: So it's like almost like euphouric, like like okay, yeah,

973
01:00:57,280 --> 01:01:00,720
Speaker 2: so awe, so imagine that on steir. Oh, It's like okay.

974
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:05,120
Speaker 2: Then it's just there was there was no no care

975
01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:07,720
Speaker 2: in the world. I was floating. I was a peace

976
01:01:09,680 --> 01:01:12,720
Speaker 2: I was there was something with me. I was there

977
01:01:12,720 --> 01:01:18,760
Speaker 2: was a prince there was a presence and I was

978
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:21,720
Speaker 2: given these words. So I was looking at my body

979
01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:27,240
Speaker 2: in absolute awe and just marveling at how incredible and

980
01:01:27,280 --> 01:01:31,600
Speaker 2: resilient it was despite being attached to all equipment. And

981
01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:34,880
Speaker 2: that's when I got the words, You're to go and

982
01:01:34,960 --> 01:01:36,400
Speaker 2: remind people of the divinity.

983
01:01:37,560 --> 01:01:38,720
Speaker 1: Wow. And so.

984
01:01:40,240 --> 01:01:43,240
Speaker 2: It was voice arts, but it wasn't in my ears.

985
01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:46,960
Speaker 2: It was in my I felt it. I've had it

986
01:01:46,960 --> 01:01:50,600
Speaker 2: happened a few times. So it's like a feeling inside.

987
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:53,200
Speaker 2: But there are words, but it's a voice, but not

988
01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:54,920
Speaker 2: coming through my ears.

989
01:01:55,680 --> 01:01:57,320
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

990
01:01:57,200 --> 01:02:01,480
Speaker 2: I mean imprinted, imprinted into my heart. But but it's

991
01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:05,240
Speaker 2: a familiar voice because I've heard it before, but not me.

992
01:02:05,560 --> 01:02:08,920
Speaker 2: That's not me. What there wasn't me thinking at the time.

993
01:02:09,880 --> 01:02:14,520
Speaker 2: Now I can see myself from above, I'm going to

994
01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:19,880
Speaker 2: go back and do Yeah. And divinity is not a

995
01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:20,480
Speaker 2: word i'd use.

996
01:02:21,520 --> 01:02:25,000
Speaker 1: Yes, I know, and I agree. I couldn't really see

997
01:02:25,040 --> 01:02:28,400
Speaker 1: you knowing you. I couldn't really see you using that

998
01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:31,320
Speaker 1: day to day, or neither would I for that matter.

999
01:02:31,400 --> 01:02:35,000
Speaker 1: But I I was also in a tunnel.

1000
01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:39,040
Speaker 2: I was in a tunnel, and I was sky on

1001
01:02:39,080 --> 01:02:43,960
Speaker 2: this beautiful tunnel. It was beautiful light. It was I

1002
01:02:44,080 --> 01:02:47,400
Speaker 2: was just all white but bright. I can see the

1003
01:02:47,440 --> 01:02:51,600
Speaker 2: most incredible light in the distance. And then all of

1004
01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:54,200
Speaker 2: a sudden, I just claimed to a standstill. So I stopped.

1005
01:02:54,240 --> 01:02:56,400
Speaker 2: I was away from the light, but I could see

1006
01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:58,920
Speaker 2: it in the distance, but I felt drawn to it.

1007
01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:00,800
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

1008
01:03:01,240 --> 01:03:03,240
Speaker 2: And and it was just and it was just the

1009
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:03,760
Speaker 2: word not.

1010
01:03:03,800 --> 01:03:08,800
Speaker 1: Now really yeah.

1011
01:03:08,880 --> 01:03:10,520
Speaker 2: And then I just felt I feel like there was

1012
01:03:10,520 --> 01:03:14,040
Speaker 2: someone next to me, guide me back, but not now,

1013
01:03:14,600 --> 01:03:16,560
Speaker 2: goud me back as next to me.

1014
01:03:19,600 --> 01:03:20,960
Speaker 1: We should have started with this.

1015
01:03:23,400 --> 01:03:28,600
Speaker 2: Lining sense of just my onset of God is all encompassing,

1016
01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:33,280
Speaker 2: all a presence, a presence wow.

1017
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:41,360
Speaker 1: Wow. And when you were looking down on your body

1018
01:03:41,640 --> 01:03:46,640
Speaker 1: in that bed, did you like, could you see other

1019
01:03:46,720 --> 01:03:50,520
Speaker 1: people in the room or just you? It was just

1020
01:03:50,600 --> 01:03:52,920
Speaker 1: me right like there.

1021
01:03:52,840 --> 01:03:55,560
Speaker 2: Would have been stuff just there was always start watching me,

1022
01:03:56,840 --> 01:03:59,280
Speaker 2: but there was just me in the.

1023
01:03:58,760 --> 01:04:03,920
Speaker 1: Time mm hm yeah. And did that that experience when

1024
01:04:03,960 --> 01:04:07,040
Speaker 1: you came back, if that's the right word, when you

1025
01:04:07,120 --> 01:04:12,000
Speaker 1: came back, did that you know, lying in that getting

1026
01:04:12,040 --> 01:04:15,720
Speaker 1: back in your body, so to speaking. That's another thing

1027
01:04:15,760 --> 01:04:18,480
Speaker 1: that occurs to me. It's like I was there, my

1028
01:04:18,600 --> 01:04:22,920
Speaker 1: body was there, Which is that separation between I'm not

1029
01:04:23,160 --> 01:04:25,320
Speaker 1: that I just have a body. I'm not a body.

1030
01:04:25,800 --> 01:04:28,280
Speaker 1: That's just the thing I'm in for the moment. This

1031
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:30,040
Speaker 1: is just the thing that gets me around.

1032
01:04:30,640 --> 01:04:33,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, can it more and more? That with my spirit?

1033
01:04:34,080 --> 01:04:37,400
Speaker 2: Like I was above TI, it was just like were

1034
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:42,680
Speaker 2: spiritual beings in a physical body. That's that's my understanding.

1035
01:04:42,880 --> 01:04:46,880
Speaker 2: That's from my experience. That's what we are with spiritual beings.

1036
01:04:48,600 --> 01:04:52,160
Speaker 2: And it's not there's no distance between and what's next.

1037
01:04:53,480 --> 01:04:56,400
Speaker 2: There's no distance. It's like it was like there's just

1038
01:04:56,400 --> 01:05:03,400
Speaker 2: like a veil that's and the good time. There's no

1039
01:05:03,440 --> 01:05:06,600
Speaker 2: concept of them as we know. It's the man made

1040
01:05:07,360 --> 01:05:12,720
Speaker 2: it on where I was there was Yeah.

1041
01:05:12,680 --> 01:05:16,439
Speaker 1: No, Once at a time, did you when you were

1042
01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:21,200
Speaker 1: out of your body? Hm, did you want to stay

1043
01:05:21,240 --> 01:05:22,000
Speaker 1: out of your body?

1044
01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:22,520
Speaker 2: Like?

1045
01:05:22,680 --> 01:05:24,760
Speaker 1: I don't mean necessarily did you want to die? But

1046
01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:26,959
Speaker 1: I mean did you that place that you were in?

1047
01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:34,800
Speaker 2: Oh was so beautiful that you I was a complete peace? Yeah,

1048
01:05:34,840 --> 01:05:36,680
Speaker 2: so I could have find there?

1049
01:05:38,840 --> 01:05:41,439
Speaker 1: And can I ask you before we go? So what's

1050
01:05:41,480 --> 01:05:45,640
Speaker 1: your prognosis now in terms of health and performance and recovery?

1051
01:05:45,720 --> 01:05:52,240
Speaker 2: And look in theory Harps, they say out of all

1052
01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:59,520
Speaker 2: the transplants, probably one transplant has the what would you

1053
01:05:59,560 --> 01:06:06,720
Speaker 2: say the word the least like in terms of longevity. Yeah,

1054
01:06:07,480 --> 01:06:11,520
Speaker 2: so the fact that but I the one organ that

1055
01:06:11,560 --> 01:06:17,960
Speaker 2: it does a contact with the external environment, so infection,

1056
01:06:18,160 --> 01:06:24,280
Speaker 2: infection risks. So in theory, the average life expectancy, he's

1057
01:06:24,320 --> 01:06:29,920
Speaker 2: around about seven years. I don't. I don't. I just

1058
01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:33,600
Speaker 2: say that's just an alma for me because her names,

1059
01:06:33,640 --> 01:06:38,760
Speaker 2: I know. But I live in possibility, so I don't

1060
01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:41,560
Speaker 2: look at time frames. I just go, I stay, I

1061
01:06:41,640 --> 01:06:44,640
Speaker 2: stay in the now as much as possible. Yeah, I'm

1062
01:06:44,640 --> 01:06:48,439
Speaker 2: not plans speaking for it, but what there's a young

1063
01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:51,320
Speaker 2: percent yours in the hospital with at the same time,

1064
01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:55,080
Speaker 2: and look, she hasn't got a good outcome for first transplant.

1065
01:06:55,800 --> 01:06:59,040
Speaker 2: She's got to go back on the list. You just

1066
01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:03,320
Speaker 2: you just don't know. Like there's people do very well.

1067
01:07:03,800 --> 01:07:07,720
Speaker 2: I know, somebody's eighteen years post transplant. So I hang

1068
01:07:07,760 --> 01:07:09,800
Speaker 2: out with her a bit because I tell you what,

1069
01:07:11,440 --> 01:07:14,520
Speaker 2: she's inspirational. Just I think, wow, just look at the

1070
01:07:14,520 --> 01:07:17,520
Speaker 2: way she lives a life. And but there's people that

1071
01:07:18,200 --> 01:07:20,600
Speaker 2: don't make it through transplant. There's people and there's just

1072
01:07:20,680 --> 01:07:24,760
Speaker 2: so many scenario. So again, that number of seven years

1073
01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:27,480
Speaker 2: is just a number. It's just I'm not a statistic

1074
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:31,480
Speaker 2: I've never looked to myself as a statup. There's just

1075
01:07:31,520 --> 01:07:37,480
Speaker 2: so many variables. I just trust is applian for my life.

1076
01:07:37,800 --> 01:07:40,240
Speaker 2: I'm a face with whatever it is, and I'll enjoy

1077
01:07:40,320 --> 01:07:45,000
Speaker 2: whatever time I have with my family. O'll just do

1078
01:07:45,160 --> 01:07:52,040
Speaker 2: whatever I can and yeah, wow, just live live life

1079
01:07:52,120 --> 01:07:52,760
Speaker 2: the best I can.

1080
01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:57,520
Speaker 1: Sometimes my podcasting hat falls off, and I just sit

1081
01:07:57,600 --> 01:08:02,520
Speaker 1: there and just want you to keep talking. And I

1082
01:08:03,120 --> 01:08:07,760
Speaker 1: so appreciate you. Well, wow, what time do we start?

1083
01:08:09,560 --> 01:08:12,560
Speaker 1: I don't know. Now, let me see how long we've

1084
01:08:12,600 --> 01:08:14,840
Speaker 1: been talking for. Oh wow, we've been talking for a

1085
01:08:14,880 --> 01:08:23,160
Speaker 1: long time. Well you did great, Thank you. How's your energy?

1086
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:25,040
Speaker 1: How's your energy? Right now?

1087
01:08:25,560 --> 01:08:31,760
Speaker 2: We'll see. Talking to you has energized me. I just

1088
01:08:31,760 --> 01:08:33,639
Speaker 2: want we're all fair right now, are we?

1089
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:36,280
Speaker 1: No, we're not our fair. We're recording. Do you want

1090
01:08:36,320 --> 01:08:37,479
Speaker 1: to say something on air?

1091
01:08:39,880 --> 01:08:45,840
Speaker 2: I just want to say to you. Oh see you start.

1092
01:08:46,600 --> 01:08:50,840
Speaker 2: It's like coming back home. This was a true I

1093
01:08:50,840 --> 01:08:55,599
Speaker 2: didn't know whether I'd ever do something like this again.

1094
01:08:58,120 --> 01:09:00,120
Speaker 2: I think there was a piece with the fact that

1095
01:09:00,160 --> 01:09:04,599
Speaker 2: I potentially would never do it again. But but it

1096
01:09:04,640 --> 01:09:05,920
Speaker 2: does feel like coming back home.

1097
01:09:05,960 --> 01:09:09,840
Speaker 1: It's a Wow, she feel quite emotional.

1098
01:09:10,280 --> 01:09:13,759
Speaker 2: And it's like back in those years working with your harps,

1099
01:09:14,760 --> 01:09:17,800
Speaker 2: illness didn't exist for me, illness did not exist in

1100
01:09:17,800 --> 01:09:21,439
Speaker 2: the studio, like there was just a pleasure to spend

1101
01:09:21,520 --> 01:09:25,440
Speaker 2: time with you, and all that stuff is over friendship

1102
01:09:26,320 --> 01:09:29,479
Speaker 2: Like for me, I've never had any expectation of you.

1103
01:09:30,360 --> 01:09:33,960
Speaker 2: For me, it's always about when we do finally catch up.

1104
01:09:33,960 --> 01:09:38,479
Speaker 2: It's like just picking up when we have left off. Yeah,

1105
01:09:39,600 --> 01:09:41,840
Speaker 2: you know, it doesn't feel like time has passed. So

1106
01:09:42,600 --> 01:09:45,559
Speaker 2: and friendship can take all different forms. I think we've

1107
01:09:45,560 --> 01:09:49,599
Speaker 2: got I feel personally like there's a connection there, there

1108
01:09:49,600 --> 01:09:54,160
Speaker 2: will always be a connection. I'm really proud of you.

1109
01:09:56,360 --> 01:09:58,280
Speaker 2: I feel blessed to have you in my corner. I

1110
01:09:58,320 --> 01:10:01,479
Speaker 2: know Peter reached out to you when I was in Icy.

1111
01:10:01,520 --> 01:10:05,519
Speaker 2: I didn't know anything about that, but I'm in you.

1112
01:10:06,680 --> 01:10:08,599
Speaker 2: I want you in my corner. So I just want

1113
01:10:08,640 --> 01:10:12,200
Speaker 2: to say thank you for because I know you cry

1114
01:10:12,360 --> 01:10:17,120
Speaker 2: now you would have put me in your thoughts and

1115
01:10:17,360 --> 01:10:23,400
Speaker 2: years and whatever. Let's that's open heel. The knowledge that

1116
01:10:23,439 --> 01:10:25,679
Speaker 2: I had people like you in my corner has helped

1117
01:10:25,680 --> 01:10:30,880
Speaker 2: my healing. And I did actually have a I think

1118
01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:32,920
Speaker 2: I had a bit of delirium, and you were in.

1119
01:10:32,920 --> 01:10:39,320
Speaker 1: It, well if any delirium. When I came out with

1120
01:10:40,040 --> 01:10:41,599
Speaker 1: he're going I came.

1121
01:10:41,479 --> 01:10:45,719
Speaker 2: Out of delirium. I came out of it. I said

1122
01:10:45,720 --> 01:10:49,160
Speaker 2: to my mum, he's a lumps here. She goes, what

1123
01:10:49,200 --> 01:10:53,240
Speaker 2: do you mean? I said, he's here, isn't he? And

1124
01:10:53,240 --> 01:10:56,320
Speaker 2: she goes, no, I said, I think he's in the

1125
01:10:56,439 --> 01:11:00,640
Speaker 2: in the park over the road. He's meditating. He's meditating

1126
01:11:00,680 --> 01:11:04,479
Speaker 2: in the park. He won't come in. I've invited him in,

1127
01:11:04,800 --> 01:11:05,680
Speaker 2: but he won't come in.

1128
01:11:07,760 --> 01:11:11,080
Speaker 1: That's I was across the road. I was scared. I

1129
01:11:11,160 --> 01:11:15,240
Speaker 1: was scared. Hey, we're going to say officially goodbye and

1130
01:11:15,280 --> 01:11:17,760
Speaker 1: then we're going to keep talking, so you can say

1131
01:11:17,760 --> 01:11:20,400
Speaker 1: goodbye to everybody, so you can say you made me cry.

1132
01:11:20,479 --> 01:11:24,080
Speaker 1: All right, I've already cried. I may cry again. Off air,

1133
01:11:25,160 --> 01:11:29,400
Speaker 1: I'm you know, like, I don't know. I can't find

1134
01:11:29,400 --> 01:11:34,719
Speaker 1: the adequate words. But I'm so happy that you're okay,

1135
01:11:34,760 --> 01:11:39,439
Speaker 1: and I'm so inspired by you. Thanks for coming, thanks

1136
01:11:39,439 --> 01:11:42,360
Speaker 1: for chatting me with me, Thanks for allowing my friends

1137
01:11:42,400 --> 01:11:43,759
Speaker 1: to meet you.

1138
01:11:45,360 --> 01:11:49,240
Speaker 2: So much. That's absolutely pleasure to be with you all.